Basil Labib

Can discrete Ricci flow signal capability transition in Transformers?

gs454236@gmail.com (Basil Labib) — Sun, 11 Oct 2026 18:23:49 +0530

Abstract

Headline result. A: the layer coefficient through grokking, per transition (thin) and mean (thick), against test accuracy. B: the same coefficient for a grokking run and both training controls. C: the calibrated excursion for every run in the study, grouped.

Researchers have shown that the feature geometry of a feedforward neural network evolves as discrete Ricci flow where a node’s curvature anti-correlates with the expansion of its neighbourhood across layers (Hehl et. al. 2025). Apart from establishing a connection between machine learning training dynamics and loss landscapes with differential geometry, this result also presents new heuristical methods for early stopping and efficient model architecture selection informed by geometric feature evolution.

In this blog post, I asked the question: does the same geometric evolution results hold when the techniques are applied to a decoder-only transformer architecture (Vaswani et. al. 2017)? Based on my limited resources and time, I was able to achieve partial success where I show that indeed some aspects of the feature manifold evolve as Ricci flow, whereas some do not. Application of the techniques as presented in the paper presented non-trivial difficulties when applied to the transformer. This post elaborates how I overcome those issues, presents the results with some plausible explanation and notes the limitations and future work.

Introduction

Stylised representation of the evolution of the data manifold and the corresponding discrete graphs. Source: Hehl et. al. 2025

A neural network transforms the input data manifold through complex non-linear transformations. This sequence of transformation may be viewed as an evolution or a flow on the geometry of the data point cloud. Hehl et. al. studied this phenomenon and showed that for feedforward network trained on both real and synethetic datasets on the task of binary classification exhibit manifold transformation consistent with discrete Ricci flow where the surface smoothens into highly curvatured surfaces corresponding to the specific class.

Since the manifold itself is difficult to visualise for a dataset, the authors built discrete graphs at each layer using techniques such as k-nearest neighbour and r-distance graphs. Moreover, they assigned each node a discrete scalar curvature and studied how the curvature changed with respect to the neighbourhood across the layers.

We asked if this phenomenon transfers to transformers also? And if yes, can the geometry move actually signal a capability transition? We used grokking on modular arithmetic as the motivating problem since it is fairly well-understood and is not resource-intensive to learn. Grokking refers to the observation of sharp decline in network loss, representing moments when the network “learns” or achieves “epiphany” in task comprehension and performance.

The transfer from a simple feedforward neural network training for binary classification to auto-regressive transformer blocks was not straightforward. Some of the difficulties faced were:

Simple MLP are represented as complete transformation of the form, $ x \to g(x) $ . Transformers actually “modify” the residual stream instead of transforming it. This is better represented as $ y \to y + h(y) $ which means that consecutive layers carry non-negligible feature remnants from past streams.
Transformer sublayers alternate in kinds, namely attention and MLP blocks $y = \phi_1 \circ \phi_2 \circ \cdots (x)$ rather than simple chained MLPs $y = \phi \circ \phi \circ \cdots (x) $ .
The representations are per-token across the context length. Therefore, interpreting the idea of a scalar curvature at layer $l$ only makes sense if we fix a read-out position along the context.

Key results

We found that the layer Ricci coefficient indeed tracks the transition across layers.
The local Ricci coefficient measured at a node through training stays around zero in transformers at every depth.
Some part of the above discrepancy can be explained by the presence of residual connections in transformer blocks. For this, we observed local $\rho$ differ by +0.13 to +0.21 covering about two thirds of the feedforward-to-transformer gap. This suggests that comparing architectures that differ in skip connections may not be a good idea.

Preliminary background

Discrete curvature on a feature graph

A curve with both large and small curvatures. Source: Gab Khan

As mentioned before, we pick a subset of activation at each layer $ X_l = \{ \textbf{x}_i \}_{i=1}^n $ and build an undirected graph $G_k(X)$ based on the k-nearest neighbour approach. There are many metrics mentioned in Hehl et. al. to formalise the idea of curvature (See Ollivier-Ricci and Forman-Ricci curvatures). We present the augmented Forman-Ricci curvature of an edge which is computationally more efficient to compute:

$$ AF_l(u,v) = 4 = deg_l(u) - deg_l(v) + 3 | N_l(u) \cap N_l(v)| $$

where $N(u)$ represents the set of neighbour nodes of $u$ and the scalar curvature of the node $\kappa$ is just the mean of curvature of its incident edges.

Across layers, as the same neighbourhood of a node expands, it would mean that the nodes are more spread apart. This can be formalised as an average of the differential shortest path distance between two nodes across the two graphs at layers $l+1$ and layer $l$.

$$ \eta_l(x) = \frac{1}{deg_l(x)} \Sigma_{y \sim x_l} [d_{l+1}(x, y) - d_{l} (x, y)] = \frac{1}{deg_l(x)} \Sigma_{y \sim x_l} d_{l+1}(x,y) - 1 $$

since y in same layer as x implies $d_l(x,y) = 1$. A node’s $\eta$ is large when its layer $l$ neighbours are pushed far apart in layer $l+1$.

The local and layer Ricci coefficients

Ricci flow contracts positively curved regions and expands negatively curved regions so there is an anti-correlation between $\eta$ and $\kappa$. This can either be observed as a Pearson coefficient between $\kappa$ and $\eta$ at each layer $l$, namely $\rho_{layer}(l)$ or at a specific node across $T$ depth transitions, namely $\rho_{local}(x)$.

For feedforward networks, the authors found that $\rho_{local} \in [-0.40, -0.76]$ and $\approx 0$ for untrained networks.

Grokking to represent capability transition

We study the problem of modular addition $c = (a+b) \mod p$ where a small transformer is trained with training set fraction pairs over few hundred steps. Nanda et. al. showed that the network abruptly generalizes and that the underlying mechanism for grokking involves principled circuits that can be cleanly interpreted as algorithmic steps. This problem is suitable for studying capability transition due to its fairly well-understood nature.

Where to read a transformer’s “layers”?

Unlike a MLP, the transformer’s output is a residual stream per-token. Our sequence is a, b, = We read the prediction at the final position and log the residual stream at each sublayer boundary, namely

resid_pre_0, resid_mid_0, resid_post_0, resid_pre_1, ..., resid_post_L-1

Experimental setup

Task: We used modular addition $c = a + b \mod p$, the input sequence was $a, b, =$, and the final position was read as model output.

Model: We used a decoder-only transformer, 4 heads, $d_{head} = 32$, $d_{mlp} = 512$, no Layer Norm, full batch AdamW, $lr = 10^{-3}$, weight decay 1.0, $\beta = (0.9, 0.98)$, 30,000 steps. $d_{model} \in (64, 128, 256) at L=4$. Total parameter counts were 0.41M / 0.82M / 1.64M. $L = (1, 2, 4, 8)$. We used various seed configurations across runs and swept accordingly.

Hardware: All experiments on a M4 Max (36 GB) using MPS.

Results

A: the layer coefficient through grokking, per transition (thin) and mean (thick), against test accuracy. B: the same coefficient for a grokking run and both training controls. C: the calibrated excursion for every run in the study, grouped.

Curvature against mechanistic progress measures computed from the same run’s weights. A: the three phases read off the weights - accuracy, the embedding’s Fourier concentration on the five key frequencies, and the weight norm. B: the layer coefficient (faint: raw; bold: 7-checkpoint rolling median) with the four events marked. Most of the drop precedes saturation; the coefficient then deepens further through the cleanup window and bottoms out just after it.

One of the surprisings results is the above figure which shows that the mean layer coefficient would lead the rise in test accuracy but it actually lags behind by around 900 steps. We found that about half of the geometric reorganization happens when test accuracy has fairly stabilized. Across 15 runs, a median of 50% of the coefficient changes after 99% test accuracy is reached.

Coefficients should be interpreted differentially

A: the local coefficient post-saturation for every well-conditioned configuration, with leave-one-transition-out ranges; the grey band is the range reported for trained feedforward networks. B: matched plain versus residual MLPs at initialization.

Hehl et. al. reported the local coefficient as near zero for untrained networks. However, this does not hold for our setting and therefore, the numbers above should be interpreted differntially rather than on absolute terms.

Configuration	Architecture	$ \rho_{local} $ at init	$ \rho_{layer} $ at init
transformer, $L=4$	transformer	$-0.158$	$-0.322$
transformer, $L = 8$	transformer	$ -0.232$	$-0.358$
transformer, $L=4, d=64$	transformer	$-0.255$	$-0.355$
MLP, $L=4$	MLP	$-0.435$	$-0.224$
MLP, $L=8$	MLP	$-0.637$	$-0.312$

Effects of residual connections

Why is there a feedforward-to-transformer gap in the first place? Can we explain it? The obvious differing mechanism is the residual stream so we constructed similar MLPs with identical depth, width, init scheme, and only differing whether the block transforms input as $h \leftarrow \sigma(Wh)$ or as $h \leftarrow h + \sigma(Wh)$.

Depth	Transitions	$ \rho_{local} $ plain	Residual	Shift	$ \rho_{layer} $ plain	Residual	Shift
4	3	$-0.450 \pm 0.055$	$-0.318 \pm 0.031$	$\mathbf{+0.133}$	$-0.293 \pm 0.042$	$-0.226 \pm 0.018$	$+0.067$
8	7	$-0.588 \pm 0.034$	$-0.361 \pm 0.030$	$\mathbf{+0.226}$	$-0.343 \pm 0.031$	$-0.237 \pm 0.016$	$+0.106$
16	15	$-0.638 \pm 0.018$	$-0.430 \pm 0.026$	$\mathbf{+0.208}$	$-0.387 \pm 0.037$	$-0.296 \pm 0.007$	$+0.091$

Residual connections account for 0.227 of the 0.356 gap (about two thirds). The unexplained part may be transformer specific like attention mixing, single position read-out, no LayerNorm.

The local coefficient represents an absolute level change across transitions at a particular node which is already contaminated at init time due to architectural differences so as expected, it does not transfer. However, the layer coefficient is a quantiy measuring change between layers so the constant init offset cancels. This suggests that architectures differing in skip connections may not make sense to be compared.

Discussion and Limitations

As discussed, $\rho_{local}$ correlates the curvature change around a fixed datapoint across depth. The additive residual stream and skip connections results in a negative result for this metric. The residual MLPs that we train separately confirms that about two-thirds of the unexplained difference can be explained by a constant offset at init time and suggests that measuring absolute local $\rho$ values across incomparable architectures is not a good idea.

Due to how we defined $\rho_{layer}$ as a change between layers, it remains immune to constant offset at init time. Geometric statistics measuring cross-data behaviour can survive residual connections but not cross-depth behaviours.

Even the layer coefficient results are tepid as they lag behind grokking phase for our task. Obviously, this is just one task on a very small model, future work should explore expanding this scope to more architectures, bigger model sizes, and run more ablation studies.

Conclusion

We started out wondering if the feature geometry evolution dynamics transfer to transformers as cleanly as they exhibit in simple MLPs as demonstrated by our motivating paper. The final results are a mix of some positives and some negatives with our main motivation of developing feature geometry based training heuristics renders null as we find that there is a lag in geometry evolution and generalization, conditional on the one task we study in this post.

Moreover, the original framing of an across-depth metric does not make sense for an architecture with skip connections and an additive residual stream. This should motivate more work towards developing alternative metrics to study the feature geometry evolution dynamics in transformers and other sister architectures.

AI usage disclosure

This post is entirely written by me. All experiments were designed, implemented and ran by Claude Code. The figures were generated by Claude. All experiments ran under my oversight.

How to cite this work

Labib, Basil, 2026 October. Can discrete Ricci flow signal capability transition in transformers? Basil Labib's blog. https://basil08.github.io/post/can-discrete-ricci-flow-signal-capability-transition-in-transformers/

References

Hehl, Moritz, Max von Renesse, and Melanie Weber. “Neural feature geometry evolves as discrete Ricci flow.” arXiv preprint arXiv:2509.22362 (2025).
Nanda, Neel, et al. “Progress measures for grokking via mechanistic interpretability.” arXiv preprint arXiv:2301.05217 (2023).
Gabriel Khan, “AN Illustrated Introduction to the Ricci Flow, Third Version” https://differentialgeometri.wordpress.com/2022/01/13/an-illustrated-introduction-to-the-ricci-flow-third-version/

Understanding System One Models Using Interpretability Tools

gs454236@gmail.com (Basil Labib) — Sun, 04 Oct 2026 21:44:41 +0530

Disclaimer: This post is for educational and purely research purposes. I acknowledge that some of the results may be used to construct adversarial attacks on System One models. However, I believe that the builders of these models are already aware of these attacks and a patch or defense would appear sooner than any meaningful attack may occur. If that is not the case, then this post generates evidence towards prioritising that area of defense research building more inclusive guardrails.

In this post, I study non-autoregressive decision models or so-called System One models which are specially designed architectures for cheap, calibrated decision-making, intended as control modules embedded inside larger agentic systems. This is an exploratory study conducted over the weekend applying all forms of interpretability tools to better understand Sys1 model behaviour and to suggest design choices for more efficient or safer deployment practices.

Please reach out to me at gs454236 [AT] gmail [DOT] [COM] for constructive criticisms, questions, or thoughts.

What are System One Models and Why Should You Care?

System one model architecture block diagram. Credits: Unzip.dev

System One models, named so after Daniel Kahnemann’s popularization of the phrase as a subconscious thinking module within the brain as opposed to the more verbalized System two component, are a class of non-autoregressive decision-making language models that output only a calibrated probability distribution over a predefined set of choices given a text input formatted as a predefined schema. The appeal of such models stem from their ability to give sub-second decision making them an order of magnitude faster than conventional language models as well as cheaper (since you can bypass the whole test-time inference cost). These models came into the spotlight with TypeSafe AI’s announcement of Jev-1.13 , however, the claims are disputed as an Indian engineer claims to have built the architecture an year earlier already.

With recent studies on using Jev for LLM-as-judge, an application area notoriously difficult for language models due to uncalibrated decision across batches and prohibitive latency to be useful for current long-running agentic tasks, these models still remain underexplored as a new model architecture.

To the best of my knowledge, this is the first attempt to apply mechanistic interpretability tools developed by researchers across the years and try to pry open the brains of Sys1 models in order to understand them better and in the process, to make them better and safer too.

Setup

In order to facilitate whitebox interpretability, we¹ selected Jev-9B, an open student model of Jev-1.13. It is a frozen Qwen3.5-9B model with a LoRA adapter trained on Jev’s probability outputs. Using this architecture allowed us to compare base Qwen with Jev student with just disabling the adapter. we also used Tev1-4B, Tev1-0.8B, both open models from Together AI. We prioritized open models of varying sizes to have a variant study as well as I wanted to see applicability of interpretability tools on these models and identify blind spots. Some models to explore are CLM-8B, Clef, as well as Jev-1.13 itself.

All the experiments were written and run by Claude Code. I supplied the research questions, provided human oversight as well as guided key design decisions. This blog post is written by me, entirely. The diagrams are generated by Claude. The full experiment took over 12 hours on my Mac M4 Max. I did not rent any cloud GPU.

Methodology

As noted above, we mainly focused on open student models of 0.8B, 4B, and 9B sizes as well as their Qwen base models to serve as control. We constructed four datasets, some from Jev’s training corpus and held-out families as well as some constructed scenarios across various epistemic modalities (ambiguous, missing evidence, etc.), an injection dataset constituting prompt-based attacks as well as pairs with one number change in the prompt state.

We employed pretty much all the tools out there under the sun as the goal was also to see what worked and what didn’t on these seemingly new class of model organisms. I trained linear probes, decision lens, used activation patching, SAEs, crosscoders, and MAttr to quantify model internals, beliefs versus the model output. I used the model’s output confidence as baseline whereever applicable and good ‘ol bag-of-words classifier on raw text.

In particular, I was interested in the following questions (findings and discussions follow in their respective sections):

At which layer does the decision form? Can we use a logit lens approach to find formative layers?
Does the distillation impart new knowledge to student models? What does distillation change exactly?
Is the model internally consistent with its output when it comes to reporting errors?
What are the ASR for common prompt injection techniques on Sys1 models?
Do the model modalities share a common intensity direction? Can it be steered?
Are System One models really easier to interpret?
Can we exploit model internals to build efficient guardrails?
Does the model force a correct answer when there is none?
Are System One Models option shuffle invariant?
How small can a System One adapter be?

When does decision form?

We applied a decision lens (similar to a logit lens) to all 32 layers of the Qwen base model as well as activation patching to find the most causative layer when the decision is flipped.

We found that across the three model decision primitives (choice, score, noul) Jev-9B consistently formed the final answer post layer 24. Across 40 pairs, we found all big models fix the decision gradually over the latter layers – calculated as the median fraction of answer change by patching each layer.

Decision lens on Jev-9B

Activation patching to find the depth at which decision is formed

Does distillation impart new knowledge?

As we focused on distilled models on open base models, I was curious to understand if distilling added new knowledge to the base model or if it was merely learning a transformed output format. Current evidence points to the latter as we trained linear probes across all layers.

Schema output similarity between Jev and Jev-9B

AUROC curve; linear probe on Qwen base

We also performed linear CKA across layers to study how the hidden states differ. We used Matryoskha Attribution or MAttr to find adapter components that restore most of the model behaviour. MAttr learns weight significance by changing weights from base to trained under a random budget.

For Jev-9B, the adapter changes about 3% of the weight norm but rotates the final layer complete (0.23). Tev class models differ in the middle but the final layers are almost identical to initial layers.

linear CKA across layers; Jev-9B, Tev1 0.8B and 4B

MAttr, gradient, size change, and random ranking methods versus components restored; Model: Jev-9B

Why care anyway? I think the biggest takeaway is that adapters can be much smaller (1.6M instead of 40M) making it far easier to train custom adapters on a per-consumer, per-usecase basis. In particular, engineers should prioritize the middle layers. Results on model reformating existing knowledge indicates using a better base model might yield a stronger model.

Can a probe predict mistakes better than the model’s output?

I was curious to understand if a probe on the hidden state can predict the model’s error better than the model’s output probabilities. It turns out that for bigger models, the probabilities are a good proxy and the probes fall short.

Probe on model error probability versus model output

How robust are distilled System one models to prompt injection attacks?

An overview of the injection bench with reference class state object and the five attack types illustrated with an example.

Attack success rate by style and model

Does distillation make the issue worse?

Attack success rate for Qwen base and Jev-9B

Surprisingly, ablating the hijacking features made the ASR slightly worse than baseline. This is most likely because the SAE has selected for the particular scenario at the decision token and not the underlying mechanism.

Effects of ablating hijacking features found via SAEs

We noticed that the model has three decision primitives – score (select a number within a range), choice (select an option from a set), and noul (a binary yes/no probability).

Is it possible to steer one of these answers by putting pressure on another? In other words, does the model make decisions from some “shared context”?

Under the distilled model setup, this seems to be true. Distillation creates a partially shared direction which can influence ratings by steering the “yes” direction.

Cosine similarity between ‘yes’ and ‘high score’ directions. Needs more investigation.

Applying steering pressure to yes direction raises the score by upto 0.27 levels. Random is control.

Are System One models easier to interpret?

One of the appeals of System one models are that they finish their compute in one single pass as opposed to an autoregressive model. Does this single pass nature make them easier to interpret?

We tried learning an SAE reconstructing the decision state as well as try to find a subcircuit using MAttr. The results are mixed. The trained SAE is indeed smaller but the decision circuit is more dense than the base model.

Jev-9B’s decision state is way more compressible. Y-axis measures reconstruction loss for base and Jev-9B. Trained on 375K tokens, BatchTopK SAE.

MAttr components needed to keep the decision for number-flip pairs dataset. Base versus Jev-9B.

Can we exploit model internals to build better guardrails?

Although this sounds like an enticing idea, initial enthusiasm was dissolved when we tested the guardrails on fresh attacks.

Just blanking two-layer field tokens seems to drop ASR from 37% to 3.6%

ASR by token position that was wiped clean.

ASR on new scenarios. Ouch.

Does the model force a correct answer when there is none?

Doing a softmax over the raw logits yield some probability distribution. If we remove the correct answer, does the model shift the mass to another incorrect answer or to “Don’t know”/“Right answer is missing” option?

We trained a small probe on the hidden state as well as noted the raw score. Both agree with each other, meaning the raw max-logit may be interpreted as a fitness score to the output.

Score and probabilities for Jev-9B for ablated correct answer

Are System One models option-shuffle invariant?

Case 1: Prompt1, choose between Opt1, Opt2, Opt3 Case 2: Prompt1, choose between Opt2, Opt3, Opt1

Does the model output the correct option in both cases? We found that under some margin tolerance, the model flips the answer under the shuffling transformation. Moreover, we also patched the decision token to find if the decision binds to a particular letter. We found that initially the model tracks the option and then post layer 22 binds to the option letter after the decision has formed.

Flip rates per shuffle. Jev-9B

Patched decision token across layers.

How small can a System One model adapter be?

I ask this question in our specific setup since we are using a student model. I think there is already some indication in terms of parameter count but in terms of rank, we trained a dedicated rank-16 and rank-1 MLP adapter. Here are some interesting results for a rank-1 adapter with some controls and the assocaited learning curves.

Rank-1 MLP adapter on layer 6-14 (0.44M parameters) is about 67% close to Jev-9B. The rank-16 (40M parameters) adapter closes only 63%.

The KL divergence to Jev-9B on 150 held-out questions as a function of training data size (upto 1600 rows). We only trained on a fraction of what Jev-9B is itself distilled on (608K rows)

Limitations and Future Work

I think the biggest limitation of the above study is that it is only indicative of potential behaviour and does not quantify associated metrics or behaviour. This is due to the intentional small-scale of the experiments conducted on a tight compute budget and more as an intellectual curiosity project.

We did not use the NTU, decision-injection-bench, or Check Point datasets. Those were gated, could have made some effort :P
The training runs were fractional as compared to baselines which means that numbers are only directionally true and needs to be validated.
We only exclusively focused on open weight models for their appeal to be interpreted. This may or may not be a drawback. Other models to explore are the Jev-1.13 model itself, Stanford’s CLM-8B, and Cloudflare’s Clef, kev, any2jev, shgao, among others.
The attacks were synthetic and constructed. Any respectable jailbreaking attempt should cover the standard jailbreaking suites.
The MAttr code was implemented from paper due to lack of an author reference implementation. This may or may not affect the final results and/or correctness of the results.

Conclusion

System one models are definitely going to be around, not on the surface but as a potential driving backbone for many agentic systems that will increasingly continue to dominate most of our lives in the coming days. I think the need to deeply understand these models cannot be understated.

This post summarizes one of the first attempts to apply tools developed by the mechanistic interpretability community to pry open these new class of models. This is not a conclusive study but should inform researchers and industry practitioners towards some helpful directions to pursue as well as to implement better guardrails and integrate these systems so they are safer and more efficient to use.

To cite this work

Basil. "Understanding System One Models Using Interpretability Tools." (October 2026)
*Basil Labib's Blog*, basil08.github.io, 
http://basil08.github.io/post/understanding-system-one-models-using-interpretability-tools/

References

Please note: This is AI-generated section. Please verify before citing.

A. Models (models, data, tooling)

MAttr: Arora et al., Matryoshka Attribution, arXiv 2609.25518 (Sept_2026).
Zoo (HF): autotrust/JEV-9B, autotrust/JEV-27B, togethercomputer/Tev1-{0.8B,4B}-experimental (+ togethercomputer/tev1 repo for the prompt format), Contrastive-LM/CLM-v0.1-8B, jaredpalmer/kev-0.5b, huaweifeng/any2jev-qwen3-0.6b, shgao/rsi-jev-v*-qwen3.5-2b, Cloudflare/clef*
Corpus: SargeDev/jev-distill-corpus-v3 for the 608K distilled Jev-1.13 outputs
Backbone: Qwen Team, Qwen3 Technical Report, arXiv 2505.09388
Gated DeltaNet (the GDN layers at L14/L22): Yang, Kautz, Hatamizadeh, Gated Delta Networks, arXiv 2412.06464

B. Training recipe

Hinton et al., Distilling the Knowledge in a Neural Network, 1503.02531
Hu et al., LoRA, 2106.09685
Shuttleworth et al., LoRA vs Full Fine-tuning: An Illusion of Equivalence, 2410.21228
Epstein (1969), A Scoring System for Probability Forecasts of Ranked Categories, J. Appl. Meteor.
Guo et al., On Calibration of Modern Neural Networks, 1706.04599

C. What fine-tuning changes

Jain et al., Mechanistically Analyzing the Effects of Fine-Tuning on Procedurally Defined Tasks, 2311.12786
Prakash et al., Fine-Tuning Enhances Existing Mechanisms: Entity Tracking, 2402.14811
Lee et al., A Mechanistic Understanding of Alignment Algorithms (DPO/toxicity), 2401.01967
Kornblith et al., Similarity of Neural Network Representations Revisited (CKA), 1905.00414

D. Lenses, probes, patching

nostalgebraist (2020), interpreting GPT: the logit lens, LessWrong
Belrose et al., Eliciting Latent Predictions with the Tuned Lens, 2303.08112
Alain & Bengio, Linear Classifier Probes, 1610.01644
Hewitt & Liang, Control Tasks for Probes, 1909.03368.
Belinkov, Probing Classifiers: Promises, Shortcomings, and Advances, 2102.12452
Meng et al., ROME / causal tracing, 2202.05262
Zhang & Nanda, Towards Best Practices of Activation Patching, 2309.16042
Heimersheim & Nanda, How to Use and Interpret Activation Patching, 2404.15255
Geiger et al., Causal Abstractions of Neural Networks, 2106.02997, plus DAS, 2303.02536
Schuster et al., CALM, 2207.07061, and Din et al., Jump to Conclusions, 2303.09435

E. Uncertainty

Kadavath et al., Language Models (Mostly) Know What They Know, 2207.05221
Burns et al., Discovering Latent Knowledge (CCS), 2212.03827
Azaria & Mitchell, The Internal State of an LLM Knows When It’s Lying, 2304.13734
Marks & Tegmark, The Geometry of Truth, 2310.06824

F. Attribution and circuit discovery

Kramár et al., AtP*, 2403.00745
Syed et al., Attribution Patching Outperforms ACDC, 2310.10348
Conmy et al., ACDC, 2304.14997
Bhaskar et al., Finding Transformer Circuits with Edge Pruning, 2406.16778
Wang et al., IOI circuit, 2211.00593
Braun et al., Attribution-based Parameter Decomposition, 2501.14926, and Bushnaq et al., Stochastic Parameter Decomposition, 2506.20790

G. Dictionaries (SAEs and crosscoders)

Bricken et al. (2023), Towards Monosemanticity, transformer-circuits.pub
Cunningham et al., Sparse Autoencoders Find Highly Interpretable Features, 2309.08600
Templeton et al. (2024), Scaling Monosemanticity, transformer-circuits.pub
Gao et al., Scaling and Evaluating Sparse Autoencoders (TopK, downstream-loss eval), 2406.04093
Bussmann, Leask, Nanda, BatchTopK SAEs, 2412.06410
Bussmann et al., Matryoshka SAEs, 2503.17547 (name and ordering idea shared with MAttr)
Lindsey et al. (2024), Sparse Crosscoders for Cross-Layer Features and Model Diffing, transformer-circuits.pub
Minder et al., Overcoming Sparsity Artifacts in Crosscoders… (latent scaling ν, the L1 artifact), 2504.02922
Kissane et al. (2024), SAEs (Usually) Transfer Between Base and Chat Models, Alignment Forum

H. Steering (RQ3)

Turner et al., Activation Addition, 2308.10248
Rimsky et al., Contrastive Activation Addition, 2312.06681

I. Prompt injection and persuasion

Greshake et al., Not What You’ve Signed Up For, 2302.12173
Yi et al., BIPIA, 2312.14197
Chen et al., StruQ, 2402.06363
Wallace et al., The Instruction Hierarchy, 2404.13208
Zeng et al., How Johnny Can Persuade LLMs…, 2401.06373

J. Multiple-choice and option order (RQ14, S3-D)

Zheng et al., LLMs Are Not Robust Multiple Choice Selectors, 2309.03882
Pezeshkpour & Hruschka, LLMs Sensitivity to the Order of Options, 2308.11483
Wiegreffe et al., Answer, Assemble, Ace, 2407.15018. They also find symbol binding in late layers, which matches your L23 result, so this one is worth citing directly.
Lieberum et al., Does Circuit Analysis Interpretability Scale? (Chinchilla MC), 2307.09458

Footnotes

1: From now onwards, “we” should refer to me and Claude.

The Lament of a Young ML Researcher

gs454236@gmail.com (Basil Labib) — Tue, 08 Sep 2026 00:42:57 +0530

“I wish there was a way to know you’re in the good old days, before you’ve actually left them.”

~Andy, The Office, S9E23

In 2026, around twenty thousand papers were submitted to ICLR , which is a premier (A-star tier in nerd jargon) conference for machine learning and related research topics. Thousands of researchers submit resarch papers, which are peer-reviewed in a double-blind syste (neither the authors know who the reviewers are nor the reviewers know who the authors are) and form the basis for what direction the larger ML community decides to work on next. The conference attracts both veterans and young researchers teeming with energy to publish the next “big thing”. There are thousands of such conferences organized on topics ranging from theory of mind to chaos theory and the next weirdest thing you can think of.

Figure 1: ICLR submission trends. Source: OpenAccept.org

No bots won’t do your research for you

In the past few years, ICLR and other venues have seen an exponential surge in submissions for a number of reasons. Most notorious of them are, of course, language models. Combined with coding agents and end-to-end autoresearch bots, the cost to produce a “paper-looking” pseudo research artifact is practically zero. I call them pseudo-research artifacts because most modern agents are still only good as assistants, not autonomous researchers. AI companies are exaggerating agents’ use for research because that’s what pays their mounting infrastructure capex. AI “influencers” build cheap scaffolds that claim to do autoresearch for as low as $25. The sad truth is, it’s all bullshit. Having used them extensively on multiple projects, I find agents are token burners because they lack epistemic context; they may sample from vast probability distributions over millions of research texts, but they lack “taste”.

That doesn’t stop younglings from bombarding fake-ass “research” to venues like ICLR, which is straining the ICLR review process , leading to suboptimality in the review process and hindering actual research progress. The fact that the coveted “quants” like Jane Street set up stalls and sneakily siphon off the brightest minds from these conferences also adds to the hype and mystery around them.

Like all things in nature, I believe research quality also follows the normal distribution. This means only about the 98th percentile of research is beyond 2 standard deviations from the average. That’s the tiny minority of consequential, moon-shot, maverick research that advances society. This means that there’s a load of crap. One can produce an “evals” paper and make a new benchmark for as little as $100. I don’t even want to comment on how broken and sorry the state of evals is right now, but with each new paper comes new methodology and introduces new metrics. There’s a benchmark for LLMs generating music to LLMs manipulating objects in AutoCAD .

How many papers were accepted? Around five thousand. That’s a 25% acceptance rate .

Cheating review with LLMs

Like all human things, the review process is famously noisy and random . At the same time, it is the backbone of credible ML research. I would argue it’s even more important than the act of writing and submitting a paper itself. Peer review separates performative fluff from actual research that pushes the frontier of human knowledge. To read a paper and deeply engage with it is almost like reading the mind of another researcher, which is intimate in a non-sexual way. Using LLMs breaks the sanctity of the process and discounts the hard work and thought put into the paper. When a researcher knows their merit is as likely to be acknowledged as random chance, merit dies. Hold your horses, young man

Left hanging

Gone are the days when you could hypothetically sit with a stack of 10 papers over an afternoon coffee and be positively assured you’d be intellectually kindled, learn something new, and have your curiosity’s appetite whetted.

The modern young researcher, with all their zeal, is first expected to answer the gargantuan question of “where to begin”? They cannot imagine rekindling their curiosity. They must sift through the noise, adapt, and learn to call bullshit, developing the impossible skill of an “eye” for plausible good research even before they learn a thing or two about the topic at hand. They must master human psychology before they can write an equation or write a piece of code.

The hopelessness of the situation

Ignorance is bliss
~Cypher, The Matrix

The ICLR interface is notoriously bad for browsing and discovering new research, so people have scrapped the platform and built better interfaces around it. I went to one and searched for “theory”. 500 papers turned up in the search. My heart sank. An average researcher like myself would require a day to fully engage with a paper, building intuition, understanding the code, perhaps trying to implement bits and pieces, reviewing past work, and so on. That’s more than a year of just trying to understand what the state of ML is. But wait, the next edition of ICLR will be due in 365 days, and the research debt would keep piling up. You know the fiendish part of this situation? Alongside the 500 papers, it was written “2%”. It meant I was only looking at 2% of the ~20K papers submitted to ICLR this year.

Okay, you must be silly to read all 500 papers, Basil. Apply the rule of the 98th percentile. That’s around 10 papers. Tractable. But wait, that doesn’t give you diversity. Doesn’t build the “research muscles,” so you expand it to 10%, which is around 50 papers. That’s around two months of effort, which is, to euphemistically put it, two months of a polished, cogwork machine of utmost discipline consuming research for upwards of 6-8 hours a day. Long Sigh.

But wait, remember the “2%”. We are only dealing with theory papers here. What about systems? Multimodal training? Continual learning? Spectral theory? evals? What about the 98% of research?

And my dear friend, this is just one conference. There’s NeurIPS, ICML, IROS, CVPR, EVVC, AAMAS, and 5 other “A-tier” conferences.

The elephant in the room. Picture courtesy: Google, meme is by yours truly.

I haven’t even factored in the fact that as a researcher one is supposed to…well, actually do research. We have only been concerned so far with keeping up to speed with the current interests and trends. The fact is, even if we forgo our own research and become cogwork machines, we will only be able to keep up with at most 2% of research at one conference, or about 0.2% of ML research, assuming we only believe the universe of all A-tier conferences consists of 10 elements, which already costs us 3 months or around 25% of the year.

An average researcher will know only a negligible amount of research. Forget about deeply engaging with it.

Ossification of research interests

What does this lead to? Ossification of research expertise and taste. Researchers tend to specialize rather than diversify. Is it good? Is it bad? Who knows. One camp would argue that deeper expertise with decades of experience in a narrow subfield or even topic is required for a breakthrough, while the other camp (to which I belong, btw) would argue that research is a breadth-first search with many cross-edges and benefits when ideas cross-pollinate between seemingly far-away research disciplines. I mean, look at the history of human science and discovery. The legends and the giants were all polymaths – Da Vinci, Gauss, Bernoulli, Lagrange, Leibniz – they studied the natural sciences but were also masters of mathematics, philosophy, chemistry, biology, astronomy, statecraft, linguistics, and whatnot.¹

There is pretty bad news for a modern-day polymath aspirant.

What has the shape of research become? Dendritic protuberances cluster around local regions in the research state space where most researchers now tend to spend their entire lives. Only occasionally does some braveheart push forward, or some old research get rediscovered, and the frontier advances. In my opinion, the most pressing need of the hour is more ambitious, frontier research.

TODO: INSERT ILLUSTRATION OF SHAPE OF RESEARCH

Which begs the question: what should happen to change the incentives that have nurtured this structure? Has the flood of research itself been the Achilles’ heel for fostering good researchers who produce quality work? I don’t think so. Remember the normal. We need to change its shape.

The “paper” black hole

Alright, all this aside, I would want to present a bitter truth to young researchers like myself. Thought of another way: what are the chances that a young paper is actually read? Assuming there are 5K accepted papers from all 10 conferences, that’s around 50K papers. Assume there are 10 subfields and the researcher only publishes in one of them, so that’s around 5000 papers. What are the chances that the paper is read?

So, given that you magically survive the random lucky draw of acceptance with a 25% chance and the normal distribution of “merit” in research quality, here is the cumulative table Gemini generated:

Distance from Center (Mean)	Benchmark Percentage	Unit Allocation	Cumulative Percentile Range
Far Left (Extremely Low: -3σ to -2σ)	2.14%	107 units	Up to 2.27%
Left Side (Below Average: -2σ to -1σ)	13.59%	680 units	2.27% to 15.87%
Center-Left (Average/Low-Mid: -1σ to 0σ)	34.13%	1,707 units	15.87% to 50.00%
Center-Right (Average/High-Mid: 0σ to +1σ)	34.13%	1,707 units	50.00% to 84.13%
Right Side (Above Average: +1σ to +2σ)	13.59%	680 units	84.13% to 97.73%
Far Right (Extremely High: +2σ to +3σ)	2.14%	107 units	97.73% to 99.87%
Outliers (Extreme tails: Beyond ±3σ)	0.27%	13 units	0.00% to 0.13% and 99.87% to 100%

So, to get a reasonable number of peers to discover your research, you’d need to be in the 99.87th percentile+ category. Assuming we swallow our pride and relax the assumptions, the next best thing is to be in the 97th percentile bucket, with around 100 other papers competing for our peers’ attention. Long sigh.

Caveat: This model makes a lot of assumptions about how research propagates and that researchers are rational creatures who only start reading from the top, and completely discounts the fact that search engines exist, which can resurface research from the average and so on. But I think it’s still a decent model to be aware of if one wants to make it, whatever that means.

Solutions

Where do we go now?
~Axl Rose, Sweet Child O’ Mine

The point of research is to seek and discover truth, to ask a non-trivial question about nature and try to seek an answer. I know it’s sounds a whole lot corny but it sounded better in my head, trust me. It should not be Goodharted by paper count to get tenure or bag that million-dollar package or whatever. I know paper quality is hard to quantify and there are no good quantifiable proxies for good research, but oh well.

As a young researcher, one must be ruthless about one’s choices when it comes to consuming research. There’s literally a ton of garbage out there. We must also strive to build better retrieval systems that go beyond TF-IDF, reranking, or even modern generative retrievals.

Incentivize good research. I know it’s easier said than done because such arrangements go against the principle of efficient capital allocation, but we need people who can do maverick, moon-shot research without concerns for tenure or grant cycles.

I haven’t thought much about how to fix the rape of the review system and to maintain the integrity of the process, but some people seem to be considering a credit-based system .

Footnotes

Well not all of them were all of these things but you get the idea.

Songs of My Life (So Far)

gs454236@gmail.com (Basil Labib) — Sat, 05 Sep 2026 15:51:51 +0530

I was recently reminded of Bob Nystrom’s amazing 40 songs playlist and started humming back to those old tunes. The associated memories came flooding in, reminding me of times when there was less deadlines and more freedom. A couple years back, I tried making a similar list (see quote text below), trying to emulate and channel my inner nerdiness – it was heartening to see that the “quizzing bug” had not completely died and I still enjoy finding random nuggets of information on niche webpages for the sake of nothing.

This blog post is inspired by a post by Bob Nystrom, a PL scientist, coding geek, and music aficionado - in short, one of my earliest idols. But unlike the pretty bland, “40 songs”, title that Bob uses for his post, I sat wondering what I should call this post. The result, as you may see, is nothing fabulous.

However, the essence of this post remains the same. I turned 21 recently (a day back to be precise) and this post will list down 21 of my favourite songs that have shaped me into the person that I am today.

I am not sure how one should be internalising birthdays and to be honest, the conventional agreed social behaviour appears to be counter-intuitive to me. Why would you be celebrating the nearing of your own death? Or perhaps, it is precisely because of that that you wish to celebrate to the fullest. Anyways, human reasoning is complicated and I have grown to believe almost anything can be justified with a proper twisting of words given enough patience and time. In any case, I am twenty-one years old. It hits different when I say it out loud. The twenties.

Without further boring you with my lazy, half-assed attempts at being a philosophical genius, I’ll start:

~me, on 9th Jan 2024

On that slightly morbid wisdom from twenty-one year old me, let’s start:¹

The Awakening

Closer by The Chainsmokers and Halsey

If I close my eyes and try to recall the first song I could remember during the “phase” (you know), I can remember the upbeat and slightly naughty lyrics of this classic (“So baby, pull me closer in the backseat of your rover”). You can imagine what visual thoughts such lyrics would have provoked in the forming minds of a teenager. I remember it being all over the place too. There’s also Alan Walker’s songs like Fade, Darkside that I have memories of listening to on loop.

Shape of You by Ed Sheeran
A Thousand Years by Christina Perri
Kun Faya Kun by A. R. Rahman

The ‘Bob Nystrom’ phase

My cherished songs from Bob’s playlist which made me realise that the world is big and stretches beyond Anne Marie and Ed Sheeran in no particular order – Free Fallin’ by Tom Petty, Such Great Heights by The Postal Service, Evensong by The Innocence Mission, Gorecki by Lamb. Some fun ones were Stayin Alive by Bees Gees, Istanbul (Not Constanitople) by They Might Be Giants (watch the MV, its quite funny), Stand by Me by Ben E. King (countless artists have covered it but this remains the OG) – such simple but timeless lyrics:

“When the night has come
And the land is dark
And the moon is the only light we’ll see
No, I won’t be afraid
Oh, I won’t be afraid
Just as long as you stand
Stand by me”

Some of my fav instrumentals from this list were Children by Rob Miles (need I say more? It was top tier invoking the 90s techno era and images of Matrix-style green on black terminals, it was (is still) honey to the ears), Halcyon On and On by Orbital (this was an otherworldy song when I first listened to it), and Unspoken by Four Tet (the gradual buildup of the beat step by step is a signature of this song)

Got into some American folk with Fleet Foxes (Mykonos , and Blue Ridge Mountains) – I remember the album Shore with the song Featherweight just came out when I was just getting introduced to the band and I was jumping up and down (this was 2020 gosh). Just long stretching vowels over spritely acoustic guitar melodies.

“And you will go to Mykonos
With a vision of a gentle coast
And a sun to maybe dissipate
Shadows of the mess you made”

I used to listen to music for 10 hours at a stretch with my headphones on. Mother used to scold, Dad was furious and we didn’t used to talk for days – that was his way of expressing disapproval and it was brutal. The classic teenager angst phase, you know. Things were not going good in the academic and career side of things and also I had some family issues. I associate that time as an anxious, unwelcome, and distateful period of my life which I don’t want to look back at.

At the movies phase

This was the phase when I got my education. From movies. As a young, slighly autistic, extremely precocious teenager, I was left intellectually starved at my home without friends who shared similar interests. I turned to the movies which helped me understand aspects of existence I couldn’t. I still think I am poor at grasping and interpreting social cues and systems but the movies provided the idealist foundation on which I would build my castle so to speak. I remember pausing the credits scene to google each song that played and then finding random trivia information on them. I remember watching Perks of Being A Wallflower (which introduced me to Cocteau Twins via Perly Dew Drops Drop, Heros by David Bowie, but really please check out the whole playlist , it’s * chef’s kiss *) and a lot of John Hughes movies from the 80’s (Breakfast Club being my favourite - I love the cockiness of the soundtrack be it “We Are Not Alone” by Karla Devito or the famous one Don’t You Forget About Me by Simple Minds). There’s so much I can say about this phase.

Your Winter - Sister Hazel from 10 Things I Hate About You - a modern remake of Shakespeare’s The Tempest starring Heath Ledger.
Tugboard by Galaxie 500 – my crush in college used to listen to this song
Everybody Wants To Rule The World – Tears for Fears, I liked the optimism and ambition in this song.

I think this and the rock phase really helped me later in college days when for a brief, people respected me for being “that” MELA quizzer (nerdy music knowledge is niche amongst engineering students). That, in turn, helped me have some social leverage and make friends.

The Cocteau Twins phase

Donimo by CT from Treasure (1984)
Sugar Hiccup by CT – Lullabies to Violaine (V1) Compilation 2006
Cherry-coloured Funk – Heaven or Las Vegas 1990
The Spangle-Maker – The Pink Opaque 1986, that transition is otherworldly.

I remember I was sitting in bed and parents were asleep when I played Fotzepolitics for the first time and I had a revelation. Was this music too? I thought. And then slowly I was enamoured by Liz Fraser’s siren-like voice, pushing me deeper and deeper until I exhausted all of their discography (well, CT sits in that sweet spot with just the right amount of content which you can comfortably aspire to finish and not feel like wanting for more). I listened to EPs and extended EPs and rare collections. I also bought CDs from the UK which were my first international purchase. CT can be quite dark and morbid depending on what was going in Liz’s live back then but I have picked the playful, joyful ones here because I like this side of CT more.

You can hear me gushing over my CT love here , here , and here .

CT remained a small band when it was still together and only recently developed cult following after movies like PoBAW. Shoegaze was a phase nevertheless. I tried slowdive, rush, etc. Only thing that I still want to occassionally listen to is perhaps Beach House.

The Rock phase

This was the time when I used to rebuke “pop songs” – Queen, Boston, Clapton, The Rolling Stones and other rock legends were my “idols”. It was my phase of trying to be “different and sophisticated” whatever that means. And honestly, I enjoyed the 4/4 aggressive beats of the drum, the infectious riff of the electric guitar, and the shrill screaming of the lead vocals. I still remember downloading and watching a lot of these music videos – if you remember that old ass Gun’s and Roses music video for Sweet Child ‘O Mine with violent cuts and a cocky Axl Rose with girls chewing gum all over him. I remember the smoky, dark orange, almost apocalyptic mise-en-scene of Nirvana’s Smells Like Teen Spirit which I listened to on loop on my niche open-source VLC media player running on Linux on a bare bones dell laptop that I bought with money I won in a math competition.

Running Linux was my phase of saying fuck you to Windows and “evil corporations”. I was consuming a lot of Eric Raymond and hanging out on hardware and open source message boards and threads. I downloaded hundreds of books (some of them may not have been legal) that constituted what I call the “Fortress” - my own digital library. I programmed a custom catalog system to track each book, each category – the idea of using an available solution was beyond the minds of an arrogant teenager who thought he could conquer the world with code. This was also the time I started doing freelancing with Topcoder and earned my first $100 over the internet by just typing on my laptop. That shut my parents for a while and the underhanded rebukes momentarily paused.

It’s so hard to choose a favourite song from this phase but here are a few bands I loved – U2 (huge respect for Bono and what they have done on the humanitarian side), Led Zeppelin, Nirvana.

PS: Thankfully, I found Marx’s manifesto too boring for my restless mind. Also, I didn’t really get into extreme rock or metal phase.

The Romance phase

During the pandemic years, I got so bored that I turned to Omegle. I think everyone turned to the cyberspace seeking repose and companionship during those uncertain times. And then there was this random American girl who got crazy over me and I had to run away. Then there was this older girl who I totally fumbled lol. The songs from this period that I remember are:

Truly Madly Deeply by Savage Garden – I remember singing it along with that girl.
Layla by Derek and the Dominos. “Layla, darling, won’t you ease my worried mind?”
Send me an Angel – Real Life; it’s funny how nothing has changed at all.
A Different Age by Current Joys (suggested by someone special)
The Only Exception by Paramore (suggested by someone special)
Riptide by Vance Joy – the song I tried to learn to sing on my guitar for her.

The Pop phase

And then it happened. I swallowed my self-righteousness and started listening to “pop songs”. It felt like eating lots of cake and biryani after dieting for a week. It felt like cheating but it felt good.

There’s the usual Imagine Dragon’s Believer, Coldplay’s Yellow, and 1D’s Olivia. There’s Shawn Mendes’ Treat You Better that comes to mind and many more that I am missing. I liked Empire by Of Monsters and Men, Don’t Delete the Kisses by Wolf Alicem, and even Beautiful by Eminem. I was never really a diehard fan of this generation and never enjoyed rap and hip-hop as much. Although I did have a small stint with South Asian artists like Tahla Anjum and Rahgir in my college dorm with wingmates.

To The Sun and All The Cities in Between by City of the Sun 2016
Let Down by Radiohead (I used to believe one should listen to this song at least once every day), and Idioteque for its strange but familiar melody.
Breathless by Shankar Mahadevan

Urdu phase

With a dwindling in the number of “friends” and the grim reality of life settling in as I inched towards graduation, I found my own company more attractive and comforting. My social anxiety situation aggravated during this phase too. I started listening to more “introspective” songs and what is more introspective than Urdu?

Coke Studio remakes of classic qawwalis and ghazals formed the core, along with bands like Bayaan, Junoon, and Strings. I was returning home so to speak and found comfort in relatable lyrics sung in a relatable tongue. The music was anything but rock and I welcomed the change. Some of my favourites from this phase are:

Aadat by Jal
Tere Bin by Rabbi Shergill (written for his father and not a love song)
Lal Meri Pat and Khudi by Junoon
Chan Kithan by Ali Sethi
Farda by Bayaan

“فردا، او فردا، کیا سوچتا ہے؟
حالِ عدم سے کیوں بد گماں ہے؟
قطرہ-قطرہ زندگی ہے
بارش میں بھیگا تیرا جہاں ہے
…
کیوں دل میں جو الفاظ ہیں
سروں پے سجا کے کہتے نہیں
~Farda by Bayaan

An approximate attempt at translation by me

Why are you thinking in pieces and parts?
Why are you saddened by the state of affairs?
Drop by drop, there’s life
In rain is soaked, your world…
Why don’t you sing what’s in your heart?
And adore the tunes with your words?

Bayaan is that existential band with haunting, depressing Urdu lyrics presented as exquisite art so one is left wondering how to appreciate the mastery of the artist over the dark and grim reality it expounds. They speak of the present generation and the utterly hopelessness in the face of global war, conflicts, an unstable society in the brink of despair and chaos.

The Indie Rock scene

It was not long before I discovered talent closer to home. Indie hit bands like The Local Train, Yellow Diary, Mitraz (sad that they separated ;( ), looped through my playlists. I discovered Indian rock, not sure whether it was via Bollywood or not but I went the whole bit - Pineapple Express, Avial, Agam, Motherjane, Thaikuddam Bridge, ABC, and a lot more.

Gone were the days of aimless execution or as Claude would put it “dilly-dallying”. Love and romance had left me long ago and any attempt to change the status quo resulted in failure so I didn’t bother anymore. I had decided to do masters so I had one more year which I dedicated to work. As I grappled with that uneasy fact and what to do with my life, I started truly appreciating the beauty of music as a form of expression. I also grew spiritually in the confines of my hostel room. I lost my guitar due to my own negligence couple of months back.

Muraad by Euphony Official
Mindstreet by Motherjane
Faces of the Moon by The Western Ghats
Maa Rewa by Indian Ocean
Marz by The Yellow Diary
Basar by Diara
Shaam Tanha and I Believe by Agnee

The Qawalli phase

And then I discovered Ustad Nusrat Fateh Ali Khan and I had that warm, comforting feeling that I have arrived. I don’t know where I was travelling to but I was there now. The natural skill and talent aside, it was strange to hear this man from the past century sing so passionately about the exact emotions and feelings that were described by a poet in the 16th century. I felt reassured that I belong to that long tradition that involves love, loss, and eventually death and yet I was more disturbed and conflicted because it also implied my emotions were not significant. I wasn’t significant. Left to my own accords to reconcile myself with myself, I had to swallow my ambition and grew out of the experience, more humble. It helped me establish my general demeanour of being unconditionally kind to everyone, regardless of social standing or wealth or whatever.

I really cannot choose a specific Qawalli because it physically pains me to prefer one over the other. There’s the Persian NFAK, the main stream NFAK, the pop NFAK, then there’s the cult NFAK, then there’s the spiritual NFAK, and then there’s the brutally heartbroken NFAK, and then there’s the romantic NFAK and who knows what gem that I still haven’t discovered yet. I have spent days and nights learning about the arabic and persian translations and meanings of these qawallis. There are weeks when I am known to listen to the same qawalli on loop. Yes, weeks. I’ll not even go into too much NFAK as I’m afraid I won’t be able to do justice - perhaps a post for later.

Soon, I discovered Sabri Brothers, Farid Ayaz and Abu Muhammad, and Master Murali. I went to Hazrat Nizamuddin’s Dargah in Delhi and the qawwals there were okay. I have listend to Nizami Bandhu live twice and it was a surreal experience.

Aaj Sikran Mitran Di - NFAK
Jani Door Gaye - NFAK
Chaap Tilak Sab Chheeni - Farid Ayaz and Abu Muhammad (listen to this version)
Untitled Qawalli by Master Murali

“This is my plea: O arrogant Life-giver
‘Twas mere politeness that made me hesitate
Bless me, O Saqi, with that inspiring brew!
For God’s Sake, give the early riser, Hafiz, a few drops of this Wine
For the early morning prayer is most effective.
~Master Murali

The future

Who know? We’ll see and we’ll listen. Perhaps it is Ghazals and the rich Indian heritage of musics of the classic Hindustani and the Carnatics.

What are your favourite songs that shaped you as a person?

Footnotes

A small note: For ease of enumeration, I have tried to divide my auditory journey into phases but like everything in history, the reality is far more messier than what it looks, there were overlap of phases, there were intermixing and recombination of phases and what not. None of it should deter the reader from getting as chronologically accurate a picture as is of any practical concern.

Day 1 of n: Reading (and Implementing) Ilya's 30 ML Papers

gs454236@gmail.com (Basil Labib) — Wed, 02 Sep 2026 19:01:50 +0530

Source material:

Also supplemented by Essential Deep Learning papers. See https://papers.baulab.info

The lists differ considerably due to no single source of truth and the papers are not arranged in order of attack.

My Approach

My approach will be different in the sense that I will not just read the papers but try to grok them, implement as much as possible (with as little shameless copy-pasting from LLMs) and go into small tree search around the topic anchored by the mother paper. One day one paper, 30 papers. Let’s go.

Group by paper category

Papers are roughly grouped into:

Architecture papers
Theory papers
Engineering papers
Applications papers

Category-wise grouping of papers

### Architecture
1. Attention is all you need
 - Go deeper into types of attention mechanisms. Most critiques don’t like attention; why? Why is it so effective then?
2. NTM
3. RNNs
 - Variations include LSTMs, GRUs
 - See Olah, Karpathy blogposts
 4. Pointer Networks
 5. CNN

### Theory

1. Scaling Laws
2. MDL
3. Komogrov Complexity

### Engineering
1. GPipe

### Applications
1. Seq2Seq
2. Protein folding
3. AI4Science - see GDM research
4. AI4Math
5. Automated research
6. Translation
7. Speech to Text and family of models

Papers arranged by increasing epistemic knowledge (for beginners)

TBD

Day 1: LSTMs, RNNs, and Complexodynamics

Re-read Chris Olah’s excellent exposition of LSTM .

Explore my implementation in this notebook (boiler plate code is LLM-generated).

This time I took the time to implement it using basic PyTorch. I remember my last ambitious (and somewhat stupid) attempt at writing autograd “from scratch” failed marvelously and had to be abandoned with the bitter lesson (pun not intended) that I am, after all, a poor programmer. Anyways, keeping my ego aside, this time, I took the path of least resistance, focused on the main problem - namely implementing the architecture from just the blogpost text - mind you I have never read any paper on LSTM before, and worry about details like dataloaders and training loop later.

This strategy paid off well on average as I quickly ran my code and started seeing loss collapse to zero on the second epoch! The loss was stable and barely moving. Obviously the model was not learning anything. And sure enough, Claude pointed out that I have forgotten to return the variable that is supposed to be trained and moreover, it was a class variable rather than a local variable that holds the hidden state and long-term memory register! Yeah. I felt ashamed. My ego was humbled, but it was only the beginning.

I was asking Gemini for code snippets for “boring” bits and pieces such as DataLoader, normalization, and inference code which accelerated the process considerably and made sure I didn’t waste time on less important aspects. I think this strategy is very good and I will try to use it more in the coming days as I implement other architectures as well. I also noted that large chunks of the ML pipeline is just boilerplate code (training loop, data prep, evals, inference, etc.) and should be packaged into neat reusable modules. Who knows I might build a small library at the end of this learning project.

Anyways, Claude pointed out glaring structural and systemic flaws in my assumptions and design decisions. For example, I was using a word-based tokenizing scheme that split on spaces (I know, don’t roll your eyes; I wanted to start simple, and I was going to implement BPE), and Claude said to use a character-based tokenizing scheme because the corpus was too small. Similarly, it prepped the data into seq_len chunks of a sliding window, essentially blowing up the training dataset. It also suggested (and wrote the code) for an evaluation subroutine for validation. I was following the conventional epoch-based training loops; it suggested using steps since the corpus was too big and there is essentially no new information to learn across epochs. It also did some back-of-the-envelope calculations to tune some key hyperparams and suggested increasing hidden dim and other practical, insightful nuggets. However, at this scale, Claude probably already has the optimal hyperparams memorized lol. I also naively implemented argmax over the softmax-ed logits. Claude suggested I move to temperature-based sampling to avoid getting into repeated phrase loops – very valid point btw.

The model trained alright. It generated text that, funnily, represented Shakespearean writing. Pretty cool stuff. I trained on my Mac. On default dim=128, it took around 30 mins to train for 20K steps across the whole corpus (~5M training pairs).

This exercise made me realise when people say how much of a dark science practically training ML models is. There are so many hyperparams to tune and there is no scientific grounding save a few heuristics and just accumulated industry wisdom. It’s like shooting an arrow in the dark and hoping it lands on the target. In my opinion, people who train models with trillions of parameters across distributed clusters are nothing short of modern-day wizards!

Sample Prompt:

“I know not why I am so sad”

Sample Output: max_chars=100 and temperature=0.5; some hyperparams (dim=256, batch=64, seq_len=128)

Raw: [‘I’, ’ ‘, ‘k’, ’n’, ‘o’, ‘w’, ’ ‘, ’n’, ‘o’, ’t’, ’ ‘, ‘w’, ‘h’, ‘y’, ’ ‘, ‘I’, ’ ‘, ‘a’, ’m’, ’ ‘, ’s’, ‘o’, ’ ‘, ’s’, ‘a’, ’d’, ‘\n’, ‘A’, ’n’, ’d’, ’ ‘, ‘y’, ’e’, ’t’, ’ ‘, ’l’, ‘i’, ‘v’, ’e’, ’d’, ’ ‘, ‘y’, ‘o’, ‘u’, ‘r’, ’ ‘, ’l’, ’e’, ‘a’, ’s’, ’t’, ‘,’, ’ ‘, ‘y’, ’e’, ‘a’, ‘k’, ’ ‘, ‘a’, ‘g’, ‘a’, ‘i’, ’n’, ‘,’, ’ ‘, ‘I’, ’ ‘, ’t’, ‘a’, ‘k’, ’e’, ‘\n’, ’t’, ‘h’, ’e’, ’s’, ’e’, ’ ‘, ’t’, ‘w’, ‘a’, ‘i’, ’n’, ’ ‘, ‘c’, ‘o’, ‘r’, ‘r’, ‘u’, ‘p’, ’t’, ’s’, ’ ‘, ’s’, ‘o’, ‘,’, ’ ‘, ’s’, ‘i’, ‘r’, ‘,’, ’ ‘, ‘w’, ‘i’, ’t’, ‘h’, ’ ‘, ‘a’, ’ ‘, ‘g’, ‘r’, ‘a’, ‘c’, ’e’, ’ ‘, ‘o’, ‘f’, ’ ‘, ‘h’, ‘i’, ’s’, ’ ‘, ’s’, ‘p’, ’e’, ’e’]

“I know not why I am so sad\nAnd yet lived your least yeak again, I take\nthese twain corrupts so, sir with a grace of his spee…”

And then I guess we’ll never know what Shakespearean my model was musing over. Also interestingly note non-English words like “yeak”. Pretty impressed that the model learned English words and basic grammar semantics.

I also skimmed through some parts of the Attention paper but didn’t deep dive today due to lack of time.
I also read through Aaronson’s post on complexodynamics - weird idea but nice to think about. Still need to get my head around the sophistication metric.

A System's Approach To Understanding Islam

gs454236@gmail.com (Basil Labib) — Sat, 11 Jul 2026 12:11:17 +0530

With the rise of Hindu nationalism in India and the subsequent oppression of minorities, it becomes imperative to undertake a critical retrospective on the origins of opposing ideologies, to attempt to debunk the myriad of propaganda with a sliver of truth, and to attempt wherever applicable to foster tolerance and co-existence.

This post is particularly important because 1) any attempt to understand Islam is also an attempt to understand my own identity and 2) all my prior attempts at understanding my own religion ended in failure or confusion or both. I must concede that even this post is not a complete answer that satisfies the original question of identity, rather it is an amateur’s attempt to supply the outlines of an answer where none exists. I must say that this post has given me many nights of anguish and turmoil of heart, nevertheless, we must persevere and ask hard questions, even if no correct answer exists.

Disclaimer: Before we dive in, I must preface that whatever follows is entirely my own personal views and interpretations. There is a tendency for Muslims to get offended before non-Muslims at thoughts like this to which I want to say two things. 1) I do not intend any personal insult, offense, or harm to any other human being, it goes against my religion 2) You may agree or disagree with the ideas presented and I am open to having a rational discussion around it, in fact I would implore such a discussion as God reminds us multiple times in the Qur’an that Islam is for “people who give thought”. My views are pragmatic, derived from experiences of observing the world, people, and phenomena around me like an engineer, a scientist.

There may be contradictions and incompleteness within the text and that’s fine - people still lived before Newton formulated the law of gravity. The goal is to have a workable, practical theory to get away with. This is where I take recluse from the scientific self and appeal to my engineer’s training. If it’s good enough, do not make it better or more crassly put, if it’s working, I do not change it. People may enjoy debating if Plato’s Forms occupy a Divine dimension or the practicality of Nietzsche’s Ubermensch but such debates appear to me as superfluous and hence of little interest. An engineer philosophises only as long as it suits him and no more. Phew, with that out of the way, let us begin.

What is a system?

There are effectively uncountable systems in nature. Out of small moving parts following simple rules, you see extraordinary structure and complexity arising. Cell functions, hurricane formation, economies, ant colonies, a city’s traffic system, biomes - all such arrangement of components that affect change as per their simple local rule and give rise to complex phenomena. Understanding systems is one of the most appealing (see Lorentz attractors). Who wouldn’t want to know what triggers epidemic outbreaks and what contains them? What if you could predict stock market bear and bull markets or business cycles? Unfortunately, it is also one of the most notoriously hard sciences. With the advent of computation, people tried to emulate such systems (Conway’s Game of Life is an introductory system exhibiting such behaviour). I remember taking the distributed systems course in uni and realised how hard it is to design “truly” distributed systems. Some of the most prominent algorithms at the heart of distributed systems (and hence cloud technology and hence underpinning modern existence) are centralised in spirit (see Raft and Paxos algorithms).

How does one even begin to make sense of how these systems behave, characterise them, and then predict its behaviour? There are principles that are essentially heuristics that people have found to hold true. I think these principles are projections of the incomprehensible mechanism that makes the universe tick. What are these principles? Principle of conservation of mass, for example. Or the second law of thermodynamics. These principles have been able to fool our senses for so long that they took the form of “laws”. However, violations have been observed at unconventional scales such as quantum where human senses stop making sense 1 . My guess is that whatever the “theory of everything” is, it can never be understood by humans simply because we are part of the system.

Enough digression, for all practical purposes, the laws are true and they are universal. In particular, it is the concept of entropy that we will continue to revisit. Isn’t it a wonder that life in general appeared in the first place? Look at rocks, they too disintegrate into sand and soil. Everything is broken down and debased. Except the human form. Somehow, lifeless atoms decided to fuse together in special sequences and form amino acids and then nitrates, and phosphates, and then memory carrying DNA. Out of an unimaginable possible history, we find these molecules forming cells and fusing together to form life. What a beautiful day it must have been when the first cell division happened on Earth. No wonder, so many people have tried to recreate “life” (and failed) (See Haldane’s theory and Miller’s experiments) but even though the biologist’s lose hair marvelling at the emergence of life, so does the physicist. Because from a system’s perspective, life locally reverses entropy. It is orderliness created from chaos. It is a contradiction of the most fundamental nature of the universe. Paint never unmixes but somehow cells organise and grow. How can nervous tissue come together to form memory and cognition? The very existence of the human brain contradicts its existence. It is no wonder that all our greatest stories and our greatest religions try to tell where humanity comes from and what its purpose is.

The purpose of religion

Look around you and you will find people who are different – both phenotypically and psychologically. Some are generally joyful, some are bad-tempered, some are greedy, some are kind, and so on. Imagine a civilization of greedy and generous humans, over time greedy folks would end up commanding more resources by hook or crook. Imagine a civilization with mischief driven humans or worst still, of rapist psychopaths who derive hedonistic joy by sacrificing their first born on the altars of their temples. The thing is, as marvellous as the emergence of life itself is, even more marvellous is the illusion of free will. Every man is free to do literally anything which quickly becomes a problem with a little thought. So, humans had to invent boundaries and limits and rules to avoid destabilizing society (The underlying assumption is that it is an implicit goal to survive, of course). I will continue coming back to this point because it’s really important to understand Islam and religion in general. Okay, we need rules so people don’t go around knocking any cute girl up and refuse to take up responsibility for the child, we need rules to make sure the weak also get their sustenance and so on. But why should man follow rules? Man is technically born free. Man follows rules only in two cases 1. If they look up to someone in awe, in admiration or 2. If they fear someone. Most religions present God as a supernatural being to fear and I think it is necessary to reign in man’s passions and wild nature, but it is equally important to appeal to man’s ability to respect things they admire and it is precisely this nature of God that Islam asks you to remember.

The two types of religion

History is replete with examples of men marching into wars and rallying under banners of God to fight crusades and holy wars or whatever. Religion gives men purpose ¹ and it is not this functional usage of the word religion that I mean when I use the word “religion” in the following material. For all it matters, I could gather a bunch of people and make them fight others by promising a whole bunch of mangoes if people cared that much about mangoes. Religion is just a convenience here, not a yardstick to measure religion itself.

What’s the other type of religion? The religion of the self, the one that we hold within us, the one that admires God and in that admiration aspires to become closer to God. The religion that nurtures kindness and mercy and appeals to the intelligent mind. The mind that forbids evil and falsehood and enjoins righteousness and honour ². And believe it or not, it is precisely this that Islam teaches. In fact, those are the exact words I took from the Holy Quran. It is a religion that professes the Jihad of the self - the striving of the self’s mind over the raw passion and unbridled cravings of the body. The word “Jihaad” itself translates loosely into striving or the act of winning over and not whatever is in fashion these days on Indian news channels.

But how does Islamic teachings help stabilize society? Isn’t the last time people tried to centrally plan economies did it fail magnificently? How does Islam reverse entropy? This is because Islam doesn’t only teach to worship God, or how to behave with others, it is a detailed manual for living itself with set rules ranging from personal hygiene to economic systems (Zakaat, for example). Many books have already been written on this topic and a detailed discussion will probably require another book so I will pick three points and try to elucidate.

Surrender to God is closeness to God

The central message of Islam is enshrined in one phrase, “There is no god but God, and Muhammad is His messenger”. It is said that to believe this phrase is to become a Muslim but on careful analysis, one realises it is just an undecidable statement (borrowing a term from mathematical logic) - there is no way a mortal can prove its correctness in the strictest sense of the word. And in fact, the Quran says that even Prophet Muhammad has no idea when the Word and Promise of God (the Judgment Day) will come to pass 2 . Therefore, the choice to believe or not believe lies entirely with the human, it is an exercise of free will. There is no forcefulness, no compulsion in religion 3 . The very act of believing this one statement is to believe in the Quran, in the Hadith, the ways of the Prophet (Sunnah), the Islamic exegesis, the Islamic jurisprudence, and to accept the Islamic way of living. The choice is a voluntary human act of submission and the first step towards complete surrender to God.

As one begins to internalise the teachings of the Prophet, one realises what it really means. There is a well-known Hadith that when a sinful person came to the Prophet asking for guidance, the Prophet only asked him to stop telling lies. And really if you think, lies are the foundation for deceit and instability in society. Lies breeds more lies, sets false expectations, and undermines trust in society. Trust is the bedrock of families and business and hence, of society and economies.

Let’s delve deeper into the lives of great saints and Sufis who are said to have achieved Moksh or salvation. What does it mean to be in a state of eternal happiness? There’s the concept of Ishq-e-haqiqi (Love of the True Divine) which is similar to the state of being completely detached from mortal vestiges of humanly existences such as desire, greed, jealousy and others - a state when the mind truly and only craves the love and approval of the Divine. You may have also read how these small groups of people have to go through long periods of struggle (tapasya) to train their minds into frequenting such states (QUOTE). But what about the rest of us? Is there no way for the great mass of humanity to experience happiness? Yes and I think the answer comes down to that phrase - the first Kalma. It is the degree to which one believes in God that determines their closeness to God. And to be close to God is to yearn to acquire His qualities. What are God’s qualities? Compassionate and Merciful. Have you ever been wronged and struggled for revenge and when the time came, just forgave the offender? There was an attempt to create rife, to create disorderliness and you, as a human exercising free will had a choice and the opportunity, to continue that feud and let countless more suffer but you decided to forgive and show mercy and hence, restore order and stability and peace. That’s how you become closer to God. That’s how one experiences a slice of happiness. And, in my opinion, such happiness is not even accessible to great Sufis and saints.

“The quality of mercy is not strain’d. It droppeth as the gentle rain from heaven Upon the place beneath. It is twice blest: It blesseth him that gives and him that takes…”

Portia, The Merchant of Venice, Act 4 Scene 1, William Shakespeare

Islam and Wealth

Enough of the abstract, let’s talk about money. There’s a trillionaire in a world where half the population cannot afford basic amenities. How did this happen? If money represents value, are we, as a species, implying that one human is more important than 4 billion other humans? From an economist’s perspective, this is absurd. No human can create such value in society. Therefore, we come to the simple conclusion that money has been decoupled from value. Look closer into the valuations of these companies and you’ll see circular financing, leveraged buy-ins, speculative betting, and a thousand other practices that are designed by humans to inflate the perceived value of these companies. Is this good? Do you know what Islam did 1400 years ago? It anticipated all of it, banned all of it, and made it all sinful in the eyes of the Divine. The health of an economic system is not governed by trickle down logic of capitalism, it is governed by how equitably distributed wealth is within the society. In fact, the concept of obligatory charity is so central to the Muslim that it features along with the five obligatory prayers like a conjoined twin in almost all occurrences in the Holy Qur’an .

On Women

This one is a sensitive topic because any attempts to open a line of dialogue ends up in a chicken fight between men and women - men accusing women of following the sinful ways and women accusing men of being too controlling. Here are my observations: Remember we established that man has a certain nature - some are hedonistic, some are generous, etc. It turns out all men are lustful. That’s their nature, there’s no shame in that. Islam teaches men to acknowledge their nature and to strive against it. It teaches men to discipline their desires. It teaches men to leave behind their vestiges of mortality and to seek the qualities of the Divine. But what about women? What is women’s nature? If men are lustful, what evolutionary pressure birthed the women’s psyche? Think about it, if you were a woman who wanted to breed the next generation of Herculean kids, what would you do? Exhibit! Broadcast and announce your fine breasts and voluptuous body to signal capability to breed healthy kids for your husband and naturally you would seek the best, most athletic, tall, handsome man as your husband. If you think that the urge to dance in Instagram reels or to sell feet pics online are new signs of ignorance (Jahilliyah in Arabic), it’s not. Psychologists and marketers have studied it and used it to sell you all kinds of things (I mean what the fuck is even beauty standards?). And today, it is being amplified to sell false hopes and dreams through social media. It has been proven in multiple studies that social media leads to inferiority complex and all sorts of mental depression and disorders and why not? The human brain is not wired to process so many options, so many competing priorities. How can you expect marriages to be stable when men and women have 100x more options to choose from?

What does Islam say about women? You’ll be surprised to find out and I invite you to do your own research but in spite of all the propaganda that you hear about Islam, it was one of the first religions to grant women rights when the Western world was busy burning women at the stake. Islam codified women’s rights as divine and made it obligatory for men to provide, made it illegal to bear kids without responsibility, and allowed women the right to education and financial independence.

A lot of Islam’s detractors love to point to specific verses from the Quran, ridicule, and try to act all smart. It is nothing but a great show of ignorance and stupidity. One such verse is the verse of the veiled women. But I think nothing is more poetic than the fact that God commands man first (24:30) and then the woman (24:31), for the verse reads:

“˹O Prophet!˺ Tell the believing men to lower their gaze and guard their chastity. That is purer for them. Surely Allah is All-Aware of what they do.”

Surah An-Nur, 24:30, The Holy Qur’an

In my interpretation, the man’s obligation to lower their gaze is more binding on the man than the woman’s responsibility. And why to debate about the greatness of obligation at all if we have already established Islam as striving against the self before anything else – the reward or the punishment is only for the self, then what point is it to blame others or to argue whose obligation is more?

“Whosoever does righteous good deed, it is for [the benefit of] his ownself, and whosoever does evil, it is against his ownself. And your Lord is not at all unjust to (His) slaves.”

Surah Fussilat, 41:46, The Holy Qur’an

Another example is the verse of polygamy revealed at a time when women were treated as objects, abused, and exchanged at will. I sigh and wince when I recall how many of my friends are deluded about polygamy in Islam and the number of times I have had to tell them to go and read instead of just scroll Instagram reels and form their opinions and make it their whole personality. Islam limited the number of marriages to four acknowledging the nature of man and making exploration lawful by marriage whence it comes with responsibilities of a family. In my interpretation, exploration is not free of responsibility, it comes with a cost – a cost made obligatory by Divine law. When I look around, all I find are cheating couples, swapping couples, bored couples, and all kinds of unthinkable Jahilliyah and at the end of it all - misery, chaos, and instability. And I am forced to ask myself, what is better?⁵ Observe the checks and balances built into the verse itself. It is not a free pass, it is more responsibility.

“If you fear you might fail to give orphan women their ˹due˺ rights ˹if you were to marry them˺, then marry other women of your choice—two, three, or four. But if you are afraid you will fail to maintain justice, then ˹content yourselves with˺ one or those ˹bondwomen˺ in your possession. This way you are less likely to commit injustice.”

Surah An-Nisa, 4:3, The Holy Qur’an

Some folks will come to me and point out “Oh, but look what is the state of women in the Middle East and blah and blah blah”. Sure, but what about women anywhere other than the Middle East? Are they any better? Whenever I scroll news channels all I read are horrendous unthinkable crimes against women and little children. All I can think of is what the fuck is wrong with us? And then I wonder if free access to soft porn, hundreds of young girls dancing in skimpy clothes, and other unthinkable degradations of the human spirit play a role somewhere. Anyways, I often like to point out this analogy to those folks: Imagine an excellent teacher who is teaching a class, the backbenchers do not listen but the studious ones at the front learn and excel in the exam. The backbenchers naturally fail. Would you blame the teacher for the failure of the backbenchers?⁴

Similarly, Islam doesn’t impose. It invites and invites you to ask questions. If you listen, it’s for your own good.

“Do they not, then, ponder about the Qur’an? Had it been from someone other than Allah, they would have found in it a great deal of discrepancy.”

Surah An-Nisa, 4:82, The Holy Qur’an

Where is humanity going?

Finally, I want to quickly touch up on my thoughts on the second question I asked in the beginning of this discussion. Sure, we may have a somewhat workable pragmatic framework for man’s purpose in life but what about man’s destiny. Here are my thoughts.

We will all become extinct. Our rate of pollution and environmental degradation pushes the Earth’s natural biome beyond the tipping point - the point of no return and our ecosystem spirals into destruction, before we can develop technologies to save it. Seems highly plausible because capitalism never cares about collective good if it doesn’t align with individual enterprise ³. Some people have theorized an ecological reset where an Ice Age or a giant flood (sounds familiar?) wipes out humanity and life restarts again, or the Sun implodes into a red dwarf and engulfs Earth and the other planets, or some capitalist trillionaire figures out a way to send some human embryos to Andromeda. Who knows? The point is, I won’t be there so it doesn’t matter.

Footnotes

1: Although, I hold a slightly more nihilistic view of humanity. I believe there is practically no absolute purpose for mankind. There is no such thing as love. There is only practical convenience and each man is free to choose a purpose.

2: These are words that I am using without definition and it tears my heart. Trust me. Hearing these words it seems like we all kind of “get it” but these are such strong and potent ideas that philosophers have spent centuries trying to define them to no avail. I have not done any better job for myself and still struggle. Our justice system struggles to define such ideas and a lot of the modern struggle strikes directly at the heart of good and evil - whatever those words mean.

3: Don’t get me wrong, I am not a socialist or communist. Capitalism has given us modern wonders such as the internet and vaccines and porn served over high speed internet. Whether they are good for humanity is a different debate, I only outline the nature of capitalism.

4: If you study deeply, you will realise that the rules of Islam are so stringent, that barely anyone is able to follow all of it. Does it mean that no one is a true Muslim? Perhaps, yes. But what it means more is that instead of pointing fingers at others, one should focus on their own behaviours and actions and religion. The religion of the self.

5: I know some smart ass will point out specific cases and say “Oh but I know this and this couple, they are happily married” My friend, Islam is a religion, it doesn’t care about individuals – everyone is differently natured. Islam had to be designed to be widely applicable. Design for the 99%ile is a principle in design theory.

Meditations from the Beach: Solo Trip To Vizag

gs454236@gmail.com (Basil Labib) — Wed, 17 Jun 2026 18:51:12 +0530

Couple weeks back, I was working at the exhall which has become like a second home to me, the ambient noise of people who stay away and don’t disturb (mostly), coffee at an arm’s reach, and the hope of occassionally glimpsing my crush¹. You get it? Anyways, I was sitting all locked-in, mentally prepared for a deep dive into another one of my rabbit holes when I was disrupted by a senior who loves to chat. I allow him that indulgence since our conversations are stimulating and englightening some times. You should always have a friend to discuss politics with, I think. But this time, we didn’t. Life was getting monotonous so out of curiosity, I just asked him “What can I do as a hobby?” By then, I was joined by a junior and we all sat around that uncomfortable table at CCD.

“have sex”, he said. I sighed. You see, my senior friend is running a little…dry. The kind of friends I have sometimes makes me question myself but then my junior said “Travel”. Not bad, I thought. Not bad for a second (more feasible) option at all. Chatting about tech and the sorry state of India’s investment culture, we ended up at the balcony of Bharti after jumping through a window to get there. I left the building after having booked my flights to Vizag. It would be a week long trip, I will not be taking a leave and I will pretty much plan things as we go along. My flight was on Saturday. I got busy with work for the rest of the week.

Day 1 - Adrenaline high

My flight was at 5 am and I didn’t want to wake up at 3 so I decided to sleep at the airport lounge. I had good portions of protein and fibres from the lounge food and then took to a corner reading some blogpost on my laptop. I had packed Amartya Sen’s Argumentative Indian and Sun Tzu’s classic Art of War with me. I saw people walking in and out, some of them hurried, some of them sleepy, some with whining kids, some with hopes and aspirations. The general song of humanity, you know. I wondered about my own state. How was I feeling? I didn’t know. It seemed like the part which hoped and dreamt was numbed down by the bitter realities as they stood. It would have been great to have a partner on this trip, I wondered. I immediately shrugged off these thoughts - this was it, I am used to it. Everything was going to be fine. Who was I kidding? I could already see nights of writhing and crying. Anyways, we’ll get to it in due time. I have a flight to catch.

I was hoping the trip would give me some clarity and clear out the city fog that seemed to be looming over my mind lately². Sure enough, I was getting in the headspace, reading Sen, and typing notes ferociously on my notepad. Thoughts were flowing without much effort, there were some spectacular clouds in the air and I was liking it all. A girl was seated in the middle seat and she was tossing her head around in sleep. I found it both a bit cute and distracting. I asked if she wanted coffee or if she would like to rest her head on my shoulder to sleep better. She refused both. Later I found out she was doing her MBA from IIMV. She asked about my reason of visit and I simply said vacation. Workcation to be precise but anyways. She was a typical Delhi girl; I wondered how Indigo managed to mess this up :P

I also experimented with this filter since I could not afford an actual digicam ;-; Hibiscus tea in frame

The moisture-laden coastal air hit me but I was on an adrenaline high, booked an Uber and dropped my stuff at the Zostel in Srirampura. The beach was 1.4km away, I set my Fit3 to walking activity and started. It was terribly hot and not the scorching Delhi kind of hot, it was the sweltering, uncomfortable coastal kind of hot. Some of my friends saw my story and rebuked me saying why I went now. I reassured them this wasn’t the worst decision I have taken in my life. I don’t know what I was thinking but I decided to run along the beach road. After pulling an all-nighter, weary from the flight and without any food in my stomach. Yeah. Sue me. I went back to the Zostel, took a bath and planned my day. My junior decided to show up and show me around. I was mentally making notes of things to stock up on - electrolytes, water bottle, power bank. I blinkit-ed all of it that night, got a leaky water bottle, complained to blinkit customer care and they were incompetent little fucks. I also bought a notebook and pencil.

Aesthetic much?

Around 12:30 pm, I had food. Loaded up on carb and protein at a cafe but slightly expensive. I got some fancy hibiscus tea and it was worth it. I synced with my friend here and we went to Rushikonda beach and got drenched trying to click an aesthetic photo. Bought new clothes and it was super cheap (I don’t know living in Delhi conditions people poorly), drank lots of coconut water for 20 rupees a piece (?!). It was around 3pm and God sent clouds so everything was good again. The wind was incredibly delicious. I booked my weekday stay at the Sai Priya resort - slightly expensive but I thought better than a hostel setup especially for work. However, they didn’t have a workspace and I can’t work from bed. We went up to the Thotlakonda monastery by trekking - it was getting dark. Tumbling down the hill and realising of running and racing with another person. I felt like a child for a moment. My fitness band said I burned around 500 kcal so yay I guess.

We explored various random spots. My friend said he knew a spot and then took me to literal heaven. The juxtaposition of the blue of the ocean with the yellow of the sand with the brown of the rugged rocks with the green of the hill and the white of the clouds. It was magnificent.

Vizag, Abstract, Jun 2026

My friend effortlessly engaged the locals and we got dirt cheap local commute - at one point, literally hanging from the back of a shared auto. Bumping head on the ceiling when passing over a bumper. Had to tilt my head just to see because my eyes were obstructed by the tarpoline of the auto’s top. Rickshaw wale bhaiya had zero chills, he was zooming past palm trees after palm trees as the cool air made things better. Great experience. Locals were so nice and wanted to help you out without taking advantage. Again, my mind wandered to Delhi folks and the a priori conditioning that people are always unruly and loud and disobedient and selfish.

From atop Thotlakonda hill

I slept at 9pm that day for like eight hours.

Day 2 - Meditation and Solitude

I packed some basics and went out for a run on the beach road. They had cordoned off traffic for the stretch and there were people - locals, athletes, vendors – blending into a cacophonic mess. I stretched and ran a 2k, then had some coconut water, called home, and sat down to meditate. No plans, just sitting and I realised how much I missed it. I took out my notebook and made some quick sketches. I don’t remember the last time I had time to sketch. Sorry if this is getting grim, I also thought what the hell was I doing.

Funnily, I looked around sitting at my shade of coconut trees and found people hunched over their phones. I wondered how I have spent thousands just for a few hours of not looking at screens. What world have we created? People don’t value what they have and keep running for things they don’t need. I was reminded of the following verse from the Quran: “Surely, humanity is in grave loss” (103:2).

I had some millet dosa at a local tiffin shop and went out for a solo sight seeing. I went to all the museums, the inside of a submarine and other aircrafts. Vizag is a naval base, apparently so you can also spot multiple frigates on the sea horizon. I was annoyed by a lack of fibre/protein food options, just had some egg bhurji and plain roti at a local shop and my stomach groaned in disagreement. I passed by an officer’s mess and I envied their lives a bit - sure maybe for their exclusivity but also for their discipline. I envy their discipline and structure in life.

I trekked up to Kailasgiri hill and thought it would be quiet but forgot to factor in the fact that it was Sunday. I was surrounded by so many people and yet I was all alone with no one to disturb me. I spent some time relaxing and some time meditating. The trek back was much easier, they have proper stairs cut out.

My friend had given me some food places to try so I booked a Rapido from the Zostel. I have never paid 34 rupees for 3km for a bike ride. It felt strange. The blast of freezing air from the AC and the context switch from the sweltering 43 degree heat made me turn from sweating like a pig to a frozen popsicle in minutes. Vizag people are built different. The place was called Subayya Gari hotel. I looked around, it was white, sterile with warm overhead lights. There were a few families quietly eating at various corners. There was no menu, no spoons on the table. Because there was just one item on the menu. Everything.

Tablespread

The person spread a large banana leaf in front of me and started putting items and rattling off in Telugu about the food with utmost dedicated. I just obediently nodded like a good boy and waited for him to finish serving. I thought it was basic manners. I had one of the most sumptuous meals that night - I forgot everything about my diet and asked for a second serving of all the rices. I decided to walk the 2km back to the Zostel.

I went to bed around 9:30pm. Enough adventure I thought to myself, it would be Monday the next day.

Day 3, 4, and 5 - A Cog in the Machine

Well, I just hanged around the resort at Sai Priya. I went out for morning runs along the beach in the sand and went for swimming at the pool at 5pm. I would get meals at the hotel inside the resort and work the rest of the day from my room. The saddest part was that the hotel folks didn’t bother to make a single person serving size, all their portion sizes were for two people so I always had to ask them to pack food which I would have the next day in the morning. Do these people think that a person cannot enjoy himself alone?

The Thinker (But Funnier)

My friend was supposed to come back on Day 6 and we would take a train to the Araku valley, hold for a night and then go to his place for another night. However, his family didn’t allow so I had to cut short my trip by two days. I checked out of the hotel, attended some important meetings from the hotel lobby. I also saw a couple sitting hunched in front of their laptops just like me and I smiled. Blessed are those who have company. It’s the highest blessing.

The resort apparently has a stretch of private beach…

..and who am I to complain?

I took my luggage, booked a cab and headed to the airport. My flight was at 11:40 at night, I had the whole day. I had to submit my thesis so I worked at it the whole day at the airport then bought an overpriced coffee from the food stalls. Once again, the solitude of the airport was allowing me to concentrate and I fired up my word processor to complete that blogpost I had on my mind for a long time. I secretly hoped to be seated next to a cute girl on the way back to perhaps lighten the mood or to have a chat with. The flight was 50% empty and both the other seats were empty as well.

Early fisher catches the fish?

“Well, that’s that”, I thought and stretched my legs like a sleepy cat. I tried concentrating on Amartya Sen but just stayed out of the window at nothing, letting my mind wander into a slumber only to be jolted really hard by turbulence. I couldn’t sleep after that and my mind was on alert. There was a lot of turbulence on that flight (apparently it rained in Delhi and it was very cloudy). I tried looking out the window but all I saw was the red flashlights on the wings diffusing into the clouds. I saw vast tracts of light dots zooming on the roads forming a complex network of veins and arteries. The city was alive.

City Veins

I landed around 1am, took a cab and by 2am I found myself standing in front of my hostel room, all items right where I left them.

Thanks for reading this far, you are still here! Let me know of places I should go next!

Footnotes

She has left the campus now, though.
I am writing this from an apartment, and I have all “amentities” but I hate it. I honestly just hate it, all this comfort is making my bones weak and my soul hollow. I want to live like how our ancestors used to live. Not have the supply chain of industry and intricate capitalistic mechanisms provide all food, clothing, tools I could possible imagine served right on my table. I want the freedom, Idk of wandering around? Riding horses? Fishing?

Indians Are Really Bad At Picking Opponents

gs454236@gmail.com (Basil Labib) — Thu, 11 Jun 2026 20:48:14 +0530

Disclaimer: This post is inspired by some recent incidents. Ashamed to be writing this but has to be written nevertheless. What follows might sound like blabber and ranting at points because that’s what it is somewhat. Then I figured I have stopped myself from writing just to, you know, wait for the day I “structure my thoughts properly”. And then realised, to my bitter dismay, that no such day comes. So here I am, putting some thoughts on paper, coherent or not you be the judge of that.

Introduction

India, as of 2026, seems to be suffering from a lot of problems. I don’t know if this was the usual amount of problems that we have faced as a nation – a devalued currency, social unrest, a radical nationalist destabilising force threatening societal peace, global insults, violence, societal evils, corruption, broken food system, broken education system – it almost feels like the more I grow, the more I acutely become aware of these issues and as a whole, I am sure perceptive people have felt it weighing down on them for what is our fault? We just want a respectable life.

The premise

Anyways, we suffer from issues. Then, we should try to solve them. But how do we even start thinking about them, classifying them, prioritising them? What is the most effective lever to tune for the maximum effect? I have been struggling with this question for quite some time and this is one way I think about it. The core premise is (as the eponymously named title): “Indians are really bad at picking opponents”. We don’t know who to pick fights with and what values to struggle for. Let me explain now.

Our opponents are uncles who have tried to overtake us at the airplane boarding line (who also in their head think of us as their opponent). Our opponents are farmers at sabzi mandis where we fight to bargain 10 rupees off the poor soul’s back, declare victory if we do or leave if we don’t. Our opponents are faceless bots in purposefully instigated hate posts on Instagram. As Indians, we are the most gullible of all humanity.

Who should be our opponents?

I remember last year (and in fact, every year’s distribe) of how Delhites go bonkers over polluted air during Sep-Oct. Rallies, protests, abuses hurled at whoever the CM is, and then Dec comes, down goes the AQI levels and everybody literally forgets that air pollution is still an issue. Ironically, the best time to combat air pollution is when there is no air pollution. This is exactly what Beijing did when their President literally “declared war on polluted air” and aligned people’s expectations and duties to nothing sort of a war. That is the kind of sustained mobilization that we lack as Indians. We are opportunists and egoist who love to blame and lament and sigh when things go wrong but are embarrasingly wrong at picking what to fight.

Our opponents should be the outflux of basic necessities like a reliable foundational AI stack, food security and rising energy and real estate cost. Our opponents should be fighting for clean food and clean water and clean air – the literaly bare minimums of a dignified life. I can only attribute to a lack of imagination.

Our “Rich” Cultural Heritage

The saddest part is that India is a rich enough country to provide for all but it is greed that has corrupted people’s soul. Our opponents are not vices but our own countrymen. I have observed it more often than not. For example, the coffee serving person refused to serve coffee to my colleague at the India AI summit saying its for white-skinned folks. This is literally free, open to all coffee. Another incident at a five star hotel where we faced racism. Yes, racism in 2026. In. My. Own. Fucking. Country. (where I pay taxes). Unfortunately, the post-colonial mindset is intact and thriving. People who say otherwise are delusional.

The last generation of Indians have never been affleunt economically and it shows in their psychological trait. The most interesting is the case study of the idea of “free”. Slap the “free” label on anything and watch Indians hoard over it like hungry zombies. There is something so hypnotically alluring about free things that Indians love. I recently came across this news where people were caught smuggling food from airport lounge. Yes, you read that right. Day after day, Indians export their manners to foreign countries and keep getting insulted and abhorred. For example, news of people stealing food from supermarkets in first world countries abound. I myself had a similar experience at Paris and I honestly just sadly conceded with my fate because that is the kind of impression those people chose to leave for their posterity. For us. To suffer and be humiliated. There are Indian students who make tutorials teaching other Indians how to get free food from food banks in foreign countries which are benevolent charities for homeless people. People are scamming welfare programs in India and abroad. What does all of it tell us?

I still come back to the idea that as Indians we lack imagination. Welfare programs are for folks who really cannot afford those basic necessities that we enjoy. As humans, as decent humans, we are the best judge of whether we truly need those welfare support or not. For 99% of us, we do not and yet we apply. We lack discipline, we lack empathy, and most importantly, we lack basic humanity, man. News of government run programs being gamed and thousands of crores of rupees being siphoned off, for example, recently the thousand crors fund setup for Startup India scam came into the light where the people who were the custodians of the fund were the one approving funds for their own startup. Day after day, Indians hit new bottoms. Indians continue to suffer from a lack of imagination.

The Deeper Problem

I think a deeper problems is a chronic inability to understand the idea of money and the concept of value. Our Indian minds are unable to comprehend the fact that value is unbounded, it is truly unlimited and it is human ingenuity and hardwork that creates value. We are not competing for the same slice of pie that we fear someone’s getting more pie means less for us. It is not a zero sum game. Ironically, value is created in a cooperative society, not an adversarial one. There is no limited buy. We can literally stretch and make the pie bigger. What stops us, again, is a lack of imagination.

This simple fact is lost from the top IAS officer scamming the latest PM whatever yojana - money to serve the poor, feed the poor, or educate the poor to pot bellied uncles sitting in the clerk level 1 of the govt bureaucracy whose job is to move files from one table to the next.

My hatred is not for the bureaucracy, it is the underlying metastructure that has precipitated the set of incentives that are in the absence of checks and balances. I was shaped by these early experiences with the bureaucracy since I was a child. I remember heading out to get a signature for some scholarship and I saw people in uniform, in broad daylight asking for bribe, just to move my file across the table. I was ten or eleven, I think.

The Dick Measuring Contest

Another peculiar thing I notice is what I call the dick measuring contest. A new disease that affects the educated and half-educated. The manner of conversation is as follows: Someone posts about X group facing Y disadvantage. Instead of trying to understand and solve the problem, these folks revert back with “Oh, didn’t group A also face B disadvantage?” Comparing apples to oranges, disrupting the flow of the conversation, effective stifling any chances of a meaningful way to reach a conclusion. It’s a way to nullify all attempts at arriving at the truth by diverting the flow of conversation to something inconsequential. To all these big heads all I want to say is it’s not a dick measuring contest.

Who Should Be Our Opponents?

Let me invert the question I asked earlier - Indians suffer from a lack of imagination. What happens if we let our imagination fly beyond our wildest dreams?

Wealth is the cornerstone of power in modern society (not really modern, of all society of all times). And yet as India, once the resource center of the world, 25% of Indians (roughly 350M in absolute numbers) live in poverty. These are folks who cannot afford basic healthcare, transport, education, food, and water. This blogpost is unreachable to them just as is unreachable almost 99% of the Internet and all of human knowledge, sealed in a language unknown to them, in an untoched ethereal medium. Think of mothers leaving their kid because she cannot feed her, think of kids with dreamy eyes as they try to sell toys at road crossing, think of that father who goes to bed hungry and battered by the sun. This is the country that some nationalists beat drums about, speak in superlatives of the greatness that was. This is my major qualm with this line of thinking. A nation that has lost its moral and philosophical vigour to arise and awake rests upon its laurel of its past and is complacent in the present. It is the spiritual duty of each nation to march forward or be forgotten as is evident in history.

Where did we lose it? I once read that one of the explanations for the lose of ambition and embracing of austerity has to do with our spiritual texts which are also really the foundational philosophical basis guiding the quality and way of life (Most likely it was Gurcharan Das’ India Unbound) Maybe, maybe not but seems like a good explanation to glue into my premise building narrative.

But also in those scriptures are mention of unparalleled abstract thinking - of invention of statecraft and politics (Think of Kautilya’s state policies and Shankarcharya’s magnificent debates), of invention of the concept of nothing, of astrology and astronomy and such a rich heritage of cultural philosophy (there’s a challenging philosophy to any.philosophy that you name) - what does it mean? What were these people trying to do? Prove each other wrong, boast of their “bigger” brain? No, something more profound. These people were curious and questions troubled them. It didn’t make them sleep. It made them wake up in the middle of the night and wonder. Wonder about the movement of stars and their own bodies. Questions of their very existence troubled them. Not how to fraud your brother of their rightful portion of the property. They had imagination.

Forget that, look closer home. Look at the string of global intellectuals we produce, people with strong world view altering thoughts and philosophies. We are not less than anyone - our likes compete with the likes of Kant and Nietzsche, heck, even Aristotle and Plato. We don’t shy away from complex ideas, we relish them. Once again, when did we lose that edge? When will we raise a Vivekananda again in every household? Not for seeking glory but for the simple pleasure of pondering existence. For picking better opponents.

Parting thoughts

Recently, I had a outburst kind of a moment on Instagram. It was related to news from past few months. Everyday news of how the food I am eating is actually. It’s almost like there’s a state of hopelessness amongst people. Like there’s no hope that an attempt to escape the matrix may be successful. Each time someone tries someelse puts them back into the rotting pot. And for a people, they maybe defeated but they must never be hopeless.

The society we are engineering and the death of manners

gs454236@gmail.com (Basil Labib) — Mon, 08 Jun 2026 20:45:10 +0530

I think the greatest travesty of our time is that a boy is unable ask if a girl sitting on an adjacent middle cramped and crappy seat on an indigo flight for 2 hours with lots of sleep in her eyes, can rest her head on his shoulder and get a good sleep. Not for any romantic interest. Not for any “ulterior motives”. And definitely not to “get into her pants”. But just as one of the last remnants of human decency and basic manners. For why should any girl not be able to sleep comfortably on a flight?

And yet we have engineered a society which makes it increasingly difficult to affect such moments of courtesy and chivalry. A society which questions, nowadays, even if you offer a hankerchief to a pretty girl and examines your action with the most judgemental and scornful of eyes. Ironically, these folks have never been the affecter and neither the receiver of such courtesy in their own lives. What society are we building if a simple act of asking “Are you okay?” sends the humble human mind into countless internal conundrums and questions and contradictions – that human mind which has been conditioned for millions of years to help and provide for the community and find rejoice and purpose in it? Why should it be so hard to be kind? We must ask ourselves a million times? Why? Why? Why? Isn’t a kindness done to others somehow able to find it’s way back to us? Then how can we, no, why should we expect others to be kind to us in times of our direst needs?

Reflections on the Mahabharata

gs454236@gmail.com (Basil Labib) — Sun, 03 May 2026 12:15:47 +0530

“A steady mystic stays the same / In infamy as well as fame” ~Bhagavad Gita

I have been trying to revive my reading habit and what better way than to read one of the greatest epics of all times?

I think the genius of the Mahabharata is not in telling a story but in enabling the reader to ponder on the thousands of what-ifs that could have branched out. This epic touches on almost all aspects of the human condition - there’s statecraft, religion, spirituality, politics, conduct, and character, all wrapped in the creative robes of mysticism and magic – talk of shape-shifters, demons (“rakshasas”), demi-gods, cool magical weapons (Sudarshan chakra and Arjuna’s Gandiva), Indra loaning out his weapons to Arjuna (and later, Karna) and just the unfettered mixing of the divine in the matters of the terrestrial.

In terms of literary plots, the Mahabharata is a masterclass in story-telling, there’s, of course, foreboding and the idea of the immutable character that just manifests before the act is carried out - for example, Shakuni’s malicious nature, the jealousy of Dhuryodhan, and the individual natures of each of the Pandavas.

I have read Amit Majmudar’s Mahabharata trilogy as I found it quite accessible and engaging.

The game of dice

The Mahabharata is a treat for statisticians and economists examining the very nature of causality (a problem plaguing humanity since time unknown). The most famous instance is the game of dice.

After losing everything, Yudhisthir remarks that the Gods have tested him and given him “everything back” when Dhritarashtra intervenes and orders that Dhuryodhan not be unreasonable and gives him everything back.

Was the game of dice really a test? And more importantly, did Yudhisthir really succeed by being patient or was he just stupid? The point is that Dhritarashtra’s decision to restore Yudhisthir’s wealth is not conditional on the outcome of the bet. Therefore, to associate his restoration as a consequence of his patience and piety is wrong, in my interpretation.

I think the deeper question is: for how long can the faithful afford to be faithful? The concept of the earthly world as an illusion and distraction and a test for the faithful as presented in the Islamic faith also urges believers to be patient (Quran 2:153) . However, for obvious reasons, being courteous, virtuous, and honest in an unfair, dishonest, and corrupt world leads to suboptimal outcomes for the practitioner of honesty; this is the classic prisoner’s dilemma problem in an uncoordinated setting where the Islamic system aspires to establish the coordination protocol. See Scott Alexander’s Meditations on Moloch .

Dharma and the Morality of Doing Right

I was about to write the morality of doing good in the heading but have understood that defining “good” is a much harder task than defining “right” which I define as doing maximal justice while affording kindness.

The Mahabharata reminds us constantly of the necessity of sticking to our values, of doing the right thing even though it may lead to suboptimal outcomes (loss, death, pain, misery) as you distort the trough of evil. What I like is how the lesson is subtle and hidden behind the predicaments of the characters, unlike, for example, the Quran where the lesson carries authority and a directive nature (Quran 2:155) .

Bhishma: “I will not abandon my war ethics even if everyone else around me has” said after he was informed of the abandonment of war practices by both the armies on the battlefield of Kurukshetra.

Some of the banger lines are, no doubt, due to Bhishma:

Bhishma: “I wish you victory but I will do everything to prevent it” said when one of the Pandavas came to seek his blessing just before the war.

The Mahabharata is replete with such conflicted dialogues (boons and curses and promises and vows) exposing the tension manifested in the decisions and stances that the characters had to justify. This is a much closer representation of how people form opinions and take sides in the real world.

The What Ifs

I can go on and on about the what ifs. There’s just so many things you can discuss at length, plots within plots, all forming an interconnected mesh of rich storytelling.

Once you read about the scale of destruction and loss and bloodshed in the Mahabharata, one question is most likely to arise: could it have been avoided? And then the mind follows each event in the causality chain and goes back and back? Would it have stopped if the Kauravas had not insulted Draupadi in the court of Dhritarashtra? Or, if Vyasa had not assisted in the birth of Duryodhan? Or what if Ambika had not closed her eyes on seeing Vyas? Or if Shantanu had not lusted over Satyavati? Or if Amba had not been wronged by that stupid prince? And on and on, we can go on until we arrive at the origin itself - the Creation. But there is no cause of the Creation, therefore, all events that follow it must be meaningless.

Good and Evil

The themes in Mahabharata are a reflection of the human condition. The plots and the subplots all recursively subscribe to the same or similar themes even if the plots are different, vividly imagined, and utterly creative. There’s the lust of men and men’s hunger for war. These are no-brainers. And then the idea of the opposites - the creation and the destruction. There’s the ideas of good and evil but these are very subjective. For example, the Mahabharata is traditionally narrated from the Pandava’s perspective so the reader is implicitly signalled to think of them as the “good” guys – exiled and unjustly wronged. Whereas the evil Duryodhan refused to follow customs, broke the rules of war and tradition and insulted the weak and dishonoured Draupadi. As a society, we associate Duryodhan’s character with evil, but why? Because they lead to societal instability. But from Duryodhan’s perspective, was he wrong? If someone ever wrote the Mahabharata from the Kauravas perspective, I think it will be hard to still justify the Pandavas as the “good” guys. Duryodhan was always second, the second-loved pupil of Dronacharya (Arjuna being the first), the second in strength to Bhima, second-in line to the throne after Yudhisthir, everywhere he went, he was bested by the Pandavas. And was it fair that Arjuna got his weapons as a gift from Indra? Or, that Krishna assisted the Pandavas on the battlefield? Is the divine a fair match for the earthly? And there is not less blood on the hands of the Pandavas either. And what about the dilly-dallying of Arjuna during his exile?

But this is in conflict with the central theme of the Mahabharata - the relativeness of good and evil. The non-absolute fluidity of labelling actions and events and thoughts and consequences as good or bad. And the very act of writing things down itself – the manner of writing is political.

Death, the Ultimate

Interestingly, the God of Dharma or justice is the God of Death, Yama. I think it’s a beautiful association. Death gives us urgency, a sense of belonging, and a purpose. It is the fear of death that motivates men. To create or to destroy. There would be no action if everyone was immortal. Everyone would just be bored.

(Ir)Responsible Men

There have been many kings and leaders and they have all been wise and being wise means choosing peace even when war is possible - especially when war is possible. Dhritarashtra could have prevented war but he just stood by like a bystander and blamed “dharma” or fate or whatever it is for what he knew was coming. I remember this quote by Dante Aligheri or someone

“The deepest place in hell is reserved for those who remain neutral in times of moral crisis” ~

This guy could have prevented war but he just stood by. In my opinion even to struggle against destiny is obligatory on man if it means peace. Especially when you know that your struggles and revolution would be met with no fruit. Peace and prosperity is the ultimate goal.

He reminds me of countless babus and people in authority today who have the power and position to bring about change but all they care about is wrongfully filling their own coffers while millions suffer - millions of humans who are starved, who do not have basic dignities of life - healthcare, home, clothes even, and education or a chance to better your condition. Every atom of my body and every strand of my soul hates such word weaving, action less men.

Conclusion

A lot can be said and discussed about the Mahabharata and a lot of more able people have done it before me already. These were just some of my scattered thoughts and reflections of what I found most interesting. Finally, I would like to end with some of my favourite quotes:

Do you fear disgrace, warrior? I thought you feared nothing, said Krishna to Arjun after being insulted by the Trigartas.

Paraphrased from the Gita:

Thy right is to work only, but never to its fruits; let not the fruit of action be thy motive, nor let thy attachment be to inaction.

All errors my own, please write to me if I made a mistake. Also, do write to me if you have a different take, I am up for understanding things better.

On Swimming

gs454236@gmail.com (Basil Labib) — Thu, 30 Apr 2026 23:03:16 +0530

This post is not enlightening or profound or at least doesn’t pretend to me like my other posts. I am, honestly, just trying to find excuses to write more. There are just so many thoughts in my head these days. Not sure if all are interesting but some surely are.

In any case, I wanna talk about this new hobby that I have found. In truth, swimming is less of a hobby and more of an absolute necessity in this absurdly hellish summer in Delhi. So yeah, I have joined the IIT Delhi pool and been going three times a week for the past 2-3 weeks now. This is a stark decrease of 50% from last year and the year before when I used to go every single day (What can I say man, the joints don’t feel the same way?)

Anyone who has sunk their head underwater and released their breath in a slow controlled manner will testify to the utter peace and calm you feel. No wonder underwater meditation is a thing and even Dhuryodhan did it at the end of Mahabharata! It just feels so natural to be inside water, you know - feels like my domain in some sense¹. Why?

A safe space

It’s because when I am underwater, the noise completely shuts down. The chaos and the oppressive meaninglessness of the daily drudgery wears off and for a moment, I feel free. Inside water, suspended by the chlorinated blue, I feel like I’m in my safe space. And even, physically, I mean. With no ground and the viscous fluid cushioning me, I feel like in the void, in total control of my motion, I can do a backflip or a frontflip or do anything I want. Control. Control. Freedom.

My restless mind

Swimming is not the first thing I have tried, of course. You see, my mind gets bored so easily and just completely shuts things off. It’s not just the privilege of being curious that’s enough but the timing and the location and a whole load of other factors needs to fall in place in order for a thing that you plan to be realised. I picked up Taekwondo again only to fail due to the disproportionate time that it was taking. Similar, I left studying Mandarin because there was no clear defined goal I was building towards.

What can I say? Being curious or hungry is not always enough. A ton of other things need to align.

The Domino Effect

I think it is no big surprise but by just focusing on one activity I have slowly been pulling up on other aspects like better nutrition, better sleep schedule. It’s like this domino effect when everything is in its right place . Optimising time for work and play and trying to learn to value my own time. I am currently thinking of starting running on alternate days to keep the cardio rhythm. But again, as any sportsperson will tell you, it’s not the initiation that’s hard - it’s the discipline to sustain.

Anyways, the other day I surprised myself by swimming 50 m. Now, I wanna crack 100 m. Upwards and onwards.

Footnotes

1: At least to me, it does. May not be a widely held belief.

Bonjour Monsieur: Paris '2026

gs454236@gmail.com (Basil Labib) — Wed, 04 Mar 2026 14:13:27 +0530

I feel that my lack of attention to this blog cannot be compensated by me trying to apologise for it. But what can I say, man? Life happens. And I must say, I have been busy.

In this blogpost, I wish to record my experiences of my first European trip to Paris, the birthplace of art , style, and human finesse - not to mention, of revolution , liberty, and a number of incredible breads and other delicacies.

Paris ‘2026

The prelude

This trip was a company retreat and thus was very kindly all-paid. Deliberations began in December of last year when I was first told of the retreat. As everyone was busy with the India AI Impact Summit, visa and other related processes continued to get delayed, eventually we booked the flights via Air France (one of the worst flight experiences I have had but more on this later), I submitted my visa application on the French visa website and booked a slot for my visa appointment via VFS website for Thursday (Jan 29th).

The one-day trip to Mumbai

The premium lounge service was a life-saver as I went to the Mumbai VFS office for appointment - yes, a one day trip to Mumbai from Delhi and missed one of my course tests.¹ I set out very early around 4am and reached Mumbai’s Bandra-Kurla Complex around 9am. As I had lounge service, I was ushered in ahead of my appointment time and they printed all my docs without any extra charge. The process was a breeze except for a minor hiccup where I had filled my application with Delhi as my place of submission. I just refilled a new application and we were all set. My flight back was around 8pm so I went to Juhu beach, basked in the lovely sun (Delhi people don’t see the sun in the month of January), and soaked my feet in lukewarm oceanwater. I felt healed. I grabbed some delicious noodles at China Gate and set out for the airport. The best part? The visa was processed the next day and I received it on the morning of Saturday. It was crazy.

The preparation

The rest of February went in a flash with a fine balancing act of work and study. The India AI summit was from 16th to 20th, the retreat was from 24th Feb to Mar 1st, and my mid-term exams were sandwiched between these two on 21st and 22nd. Phew.

I studied as much as I could, bombed one exam and did fairly decent in another. My supervisor had very kindly agreed to allow me to send in a recording for my mid-term masters project on the condition that I submit a week before the presentation date (27th Feb)…which I never did. I submitted on Feb 27th while in Paris at 1am CET but we’re getting ahead of ourselves.

The summit had left me drained as I had anticipated with more than 350K people and 500 events - it’s kinda hard not to be overwhelmed by Indian things - all scale and grand - the big fat Indian AI summit. Results? Well, that’s the topic for another post. All I was looking for was a place to wind down a bit.

Day 1 - The arrival (24th)

Our Air France flights were scheduled for 1:30 am on the 24th so I reached the IGI T3 airport around 6pm on 23rd. I got off the wrong foot with VA over some shortcomings on my part but I just tried to avoid any unnecessary scuffle. Do also note that I was fasting since Ramadan had started and I was on average in a sour mood so to speak. We were supposed to be four people on the flight - VA (who flew from his hometown to Delhi that evening), JJ (who also flew from his hometown that evening), SSY (who was supposed to fly from Hyd), and me. SSY’s flight from Hyd to Del got delayed due to weather and he had to miss the Air France flight. He had to book a different Air India flight and he arrived in Paris 12 hours late (SSY’s trip was unfortunately marred with bad lucks).

sad trumpet noises

In any case, we cleared immigration, security, and onboarded the flight. SSY’s seat was auctioned by the airline to a French lady for 5000 EUR or similar. I was in the middle seat with another Indian guy to the window. The French girl in the safety video commericial was kinda cute. The flight was for nine hours and a bit of a pain - the food was okay-ish, the seats not very comfortable, but it was night and I tried to sleep for most part of the trip. I scrolled their entertainment system and sadly didn’t find much options. I just put on some Charles Aznavour music and dozed off to sleep to the melody of this French guy rolling a lot of his vowels. The occasional announcements in French were going over my head but my inner linguist was jumping with joy because he had fodder for the next week to assimilate. I started mapping French to English and no surprises, it was semantically almost identical. I wager that if I spend 6 months in France, I would be able to understand and speak French. I started watching Lanthimos’ new movie Bugonia during the last hour or so of the flight.

We landed on time around 6:30 am CET, took a Uber (for 90 EUR!) to our BnB in the Auteuil area on Rue de la Fontaine (Rue means street). I picked up a free French airline magazine along the way. That was around 30km and a 90 mins ride. We checked into the BnB and SS (one of the other members from London) was already there and he headed to IASEAI conference. Me and the India delegation relaxed a bit and went straight to a Carrefour hypermarket. These are basically places to find literally everything like Tesco in London. There were other options too like Monop, Monoprix, and other local vendors. It felt like you could just roam around and buy the whole world haha! We got a lot of packaged food, yoghurt, vegan milk, spreads, breads, and necessary groceries. The bill was a modest 150 EUR and we carried everything back to base camp. A walk of 15 mins with the Parisian sun ushering in hope and casting away the sad drudgery of Delhi. The obvious thing to note were the architecture, of course. Just looking at the harmony of these buildings gave one a kind of inner peace. Truly, Parisian knew what value art holds in the daily mundane. I made a mental note of looking up Haussman who was appointed by the king to make Paris look pretty.

An assortment of baked products, the smell was lovely! Carrefour Auteuil

Rest of day 1 went in having some food, relaxing, going for a walk around the neighbourhood (I could use my cellular data for maps thanks to my Airtel international plan), and doing some basic work.

One qualm that I often have with Europe is, of course, the lack of a water spray in the washrooms. This basically meant that I had to wipe my ass and pretent everything was okay for the next six days. Abominable!

Even roadside cafe menus were undecipherable on day 1 so google translate was a big help. By day 5, I was able to make sense of things written. It almost felt like primitive code breaking.

The first walk

The sun rose late around 7:45 am and set later than the tropics. Combined with my jet lag, I felt a bit disoriented. I called folks back at home and they were 4.5 hours ahead of me - I showed them the view outside my room. While on my evening walk, I passed through a church, a hospital, and went to Parc Sainte-Perine, I saw Parisian grannies and grandpas relaxing on park benches, reading books while basking in the temperate sun. Paris realises the image of the stories we were told as kids - the post independence education that I was given that still reeked of the colonial undertones and inadvertently borrowed elements from our colonial overload’s culture. In India, such realisation of dreams is an impossibility due to the sheer numbers and the hawkish distribution of wealth and resources. I quietly observed kids playing in the park, their milky white skin, and golden brown hair being tousled by the Parisian breeze as they played football. Not a single building facade had a blemish - how can you expect such people who take such delicate care of their buildings to not take care of themselves? The soft cold breeze kissing my face competed with the sun’s sweet rays sometimes.

On Why We Take Pictures (and explaining the sales of cameras)

While we were on a bridge over the Seine (Port Mirabeau), I was trying to make sense of why people take pictures. Almost every human action can be traced to human insecurity just like in this case as well. At the bridge, we were not sure of what we were supposed to do and so in order to save our faces from embarrasment, we took out our phone and started clicking pictures. The invention of the camera was to fill our meangingless lives with an activity - something we can point to and say, “Oh, this is what I was doing”. The phone enables our lazy minds to feel accomplished - that’s all.

VA was coordinating with SSY throughout who reached quite late at night. Leaving the comforts of Swiggy and Zomato back home, here I scrolled through Uber Eats and tried to make sense of the menu items via translate.

Road signs, Paris

VA, JJ, and me went for another walk to a shopping mall (Beaugrenelle ) on the other bank of the Seine to buy jackets for me and VA as mine was too worn out. I scrolled through Uniqlo, Nike, Levi’s, H&M, and others. The Northface one which I liked was 310 EUR so I calmly put it back. We just had some microwaved leftover from the afternoon meal and went to bed. There was Bolt and Lime for commute as well and funny sounding payment apps like Zuplee and Upplee. I remembered I had Bumble installed, I quickly installed Hinge and setup a profile. I swiped for a bit with absolutely zero expectations partly because I was in Paris only for 5 days. It was the usual French crowd - coiffeurs (hair stylist), etudiants (students), and bakers. It was definitely a notch above the average Delhi crowd.

I slept very early around 10:30 or 11pm.

Day 2 - The migration (25th)

I woke up at 5 am and it was pitch dark! The sunrise was in about 3 hours! I scrolled through Hinge and saw a reply from a girl from Brest. I liked how girls were more forthcoming than those in India who play pathetic mindgames. I really appreciate this quality as I don’t have to second guess what their intentions are. Although, the match didn’t go anywhere, it still felt nice. I tried to make the least amount of noise as I was aware that the walls are really thin in the West.

The beauty!

I went for a long walk around 8am and covered more than 2kms. I just loved walking around. That’s when I saw the Eiffel tower from the west bank of the river along Boulevard Exelman. No matter what you do, I felt that this city amplified everything. It can bring out your inner philosopher, your inner arist, or your inner scientist. It can make a man’s heart resolute and curios again - something that cities should do. Maybe I am romanticising Paris too much but whatever. It’s worth it.

As I passed by half-opened bakeries (la boulangerie) selling all kinds of lovely breads - buttery croissants, pain au chocolat, pain aux raisins, the sweet smell of freshly baked bread at these locally run Parisian bakery felt like a siren ushering you towards it. I was a bit late as VA had already woken up and called me twice to get back so I abandoned my plan to walk to Eiffel tower (that was a 30 mins walk according to Google maps). I got a bit lost at the cross-roads which still felt a bit confusing. I ended up at the same shopping mall as last night and hurried back to the BnB.

Our new abode at Rue de Croulabarbe

And then it started. The noises. Drilling and hammering and construction. It got so bad that we had to abandon the BnB and VA found another one on Rue de la Croulabarbe. We packed out stuff and just headed out in the Uber. I already had a heavy headache but the cab ride through the city made my headache kinda vanish. I saw lazy Parisians roaming the streets at 4pm(!), sipping coffee, smoking cigarettes in stylish clothes sitting on chairs outside cafe, drudgery in their eyes and no hope - the quintessential Parisian just as I have seen in Godard’s and Truffaut’s movies. The city that cures? Maybe.

An unpleasant experience

Although the cab ride cured, the cab driver was very unwelcoming - he was throwing our stuff around and talking haughtily - perhaps because of our colour. That’s when I got the first proper taste of the people of this city. Ironically, he wasn’t a native Parisian but an immigrant himself, I would hope natives would be more welcoming; I tried to justify his poor behaviour by trying to blame my fellow countrymen who might not have been on the best of their behaviour. But in any case, I felt horrible and my day was ruined. A similar slumber felt across the group. We just checked into the BnB which was more spacious and airy than the previous one. As a tiny shock to me, this BnB opened directly into the streets like there was literally just one quarter inch of steel between me and the wild west. I imagined it was a parking garage that the owner had repurposed into a residential suite. I shared my room with SSY. There was fancy wallpapers on the wall, pretty books on the shelves, and quirky painting hanging in the kitchen. I just hoped I could sleep in peace.

After wrapping up some work, me and the gang went out to find another Carrefour nearby (haha). We found one in Saint Marcel in the Gobelins area. VA bought some hot chocolate and a croissant from an artisanal boulangarie and the first bite of that inconspicous looking, cold piece of bread was enough to send me to a buttery delight - something about how these people make croissants, man. It was 100x better than what they dupe us back at home with. The neighbourhood felt way, way more like Europe - there were occassional Indian faces unlike London where every second face was non-Caucasian.

One thing I couldn’t help noticing was young people’s obsession with running. You can see them running literally everywhere. I really appreciate this - it has given me fresh impetus to take a deeper look at my own health. Health and taking care of oneself is not a very Indian thing. And in that gutter hole, you sort of forget what you are. And what you can do. You know, a sad environment kills curiosity and art and innovation. Sorry I got a bit cynical there.

We picked up some salads and bread from Carrefour and went to a McDonald’s. I had a McCrispy without bacon with fries and a very bad cherry flavoured coke which almost felt like medicine. That was our dinner. The walk back was 5 mins and I went to bed early as usual.

Day 3 - A sour experience (26th)

I woke up around 5 am and tried to complete some pending work and then dozed off again at 7am. I woke up again at 8am and saw the house was awake so I didn’t go back to sleep again. VA and JJ were supposed to head out to IASEAI conference yesterday but couldn’t due to the noise and unplanned BnB switching. They head out today leaving me, SSY, and SS at the BnB working.

Oh, did I tell you that there was construction work going outside the new BnB as well lol. They were building a new road just outside but the noise was much bearable and they finished before lunch. Day 3 was spent wholly inside the BnB in front of the laptop as I got reprimanded for wandering off for long the other day. SS went out for a “bit of movement” around 1pm, changed into running clothes and came back in an hour. He then changed and went away. And in India, there’s dumbnuts like Narayan Murthy screaming 70 hours work week lol. VA and SS came back earlier than expected, they didn’t get access to the venue and the receptionist was also being racist. It was unfortunate.

I had started making primitive relations between words and loved how the French fearlessly string their vowels like there’s no tomorrow. Auteuil for example.

A scrumptious meeting!

Another unfortunate experience

The most unnerving experience for me, however, was the instance of blatant racism at Carrefour St Marcel. I was standing near the self check-out counters as SSY was getting the stuff billed when one of the coloured attendees exclaimed “Paaji, Chal, Chal” (literally, hey man, move, move!) in a tone that was more akin to herding sheep than a polite request to move. Honestly, I was too shocked to process what just perpetuated for a moment. I just looked at VA who gave me a knowing forlorn look - a look which expressed indifference and familiarity with such repeated abuses. I tried to justify the poor man’s behaviour by imagining the average Indian that he may have had to interact with and who might not have the eloquence of speech in a tongue familiar to him. And yet, somehow this empathethic garb could not veil the harm it had done. I was deeply moved by the experience and talked to my parents after it.

I had some of the packed croissants from Carrefour and even though, it was cold and packed - these were some of the most flaky, buttery goodness I have had. I can only imagine the heavenly taste of a freshly baked batch of croissants. SS ordered some vegan Japanese soup and fried sushis. Although the sushis were alright, the soup was beyond horrible. I just smiled and somehow endured through it. VA, however, is more outspoken and just blatantly expressed what he thought about the food.

Responsibilities from a past life

And inspite of these travesties of life, I was also conscious of my mid-term thesis presentation deadline and another assignment deadline. I quickly prototyped a system using Claude Code for my programming assignment and gave it a cursory read. I knew that the instructor was least bothered about the course so I also felt disinterested in putting in the effort given the tradeoffs. It was 10 pm already and I resolved to make the slides in the next two hours; God knows that making slides is the most agonising experience that man has ever had to endure. And yet I started, only for SS to propose that we play Exploding Kittens - a card game I had never played. My polite resistance felt to deaf ears as VA and others prodded me to participate. I conceded. It was a fun game and would become a daily post-dinner ritual at the retreat. I made some of my cherished memories during these games. It was, after all, a long time since I played such games - any game in fact.

When we were done, I looked at the clock and it was midnight. I groaned. I opened my laptop and opened Google slides only to find there was no Wifi! And then started another 40 minutes of debugging the Wifi and in the process completely dissipating the motivation I had collected for the final act. Great, I thought. In any case, I made some quick slides, recorded my video and submitted the presentation at some time past 1 am. I opened the door out of curiosity and found two figures embracing or sharing a smoke at a distance. The cold breeze froze my face. I shut the door and went to bed.

Day 4 - The meeting on a rainy day (27th)

I woke up around 8 am as expected and took a slow start. I called parents in the morning and listened to dad reciting Surah Baqarah and felt the most ease and warmth. I chronicled my incident from last night to my mother. In all the chaos, talking to parents is the best thing in the world - it felt like the only bit of grounding in an increasingly topsy-turvy world.

I made some fancy breakfast from all the groceries - toasted sourdough bread with hummus, guac, and choco spread, strawberries, some roasted nuts, and leftover sushis. I was getting fancy. I took a sip of the almond milk and was instantly reminded of the lice-killing concoction that my grandma used to apply to old wooden furniture. It was beyond horrible.

Colourful breakfast!

I was also getting sore throat and noticed other people also coughing or with runny noses - it’s pretty easy to figure these things when the walls are so thin. JJ was clearly unwell. I did some gargling with hot water and regularly started taking green tea.

The trauma of last night had not weared away and I obstinately looked at myself in the mirror while brushing my teeth and tried to find what was so different about me. For the first time, I noticed things about myself that I didn’t like.

I opened the door to take a peek only to be surprised by the soaked streets. It had rained! No wonder it was colder than usual. I imagined how Paris must look radianting her passion all soaked in the rain.

SS ordered (a lot of) vegan Thai food and it was honestly so flavourful and scrumptious. If there’s one thing I have updated my beliefs on, it’s the fact that vegan food can be delicious too! The rest of the day was pretty unhappening and slow. We (all six of us) had a long meeting (and I mean really long) and then snuck out for some pain au chocolat and hot chocolate at a local artisanal pattiserie - the owner, also a Parisian, noticed SS and asked about our origins in turn. He guessed Pakistani, Indian, Bangladeshi - the usual. After learning that we were Indians, he seemed to grow more amenable and friendly. He shared his experience of being in the French colony in Pondicherry and Punjab. It was funny noticing a Frenchman pronouncing the word “Punjab” and the word “Shukriya”. I felt a bit easy around him. It is not wise for me to generalise that singular unfortunate experience to all Parisians but traumas are traumas. In any case, the drizzle-ridden walk to the bakery and the hot chocolate and the pain au chocolat was the perfect snack. Someone I ended up at Carrefour St Marcel once again, SS wanted to grab some protein bars.

The gang ended up playing Exploding Kittens again and I won a round after drawing an extremely lucky set of cards. Around 11 pm, I felt hungry and heated the left over food from Lunch with a bunch of everything - a smorgasbord, really! I also called my dad and showed him what I was cooking - it was around 4 am in India - Sehri time. He didn’t say anything but he was clearly beaming. He never said much. I went to bed buzzing with excitement for the next day was supposed to be all about exploring the city.

Looks like a plate of worms but it’s all vegan!

Day 5 - The outing (28th)

I woke up relatively early and was feeling easier. I had some green tea and went for a quick 10 mins walk at the adjacent park. This was supposed to be the last day so I was more liberal with my use of the cellular data pack. I video called my parents and showed them a Parisian park which was just opposite our BnB near some govt office. People walking their dogs, grannies sitting in the sun, young folks jogging. In my parent’s happiness, I found my contentment. I guess this is what love is.

The boat ride on the Seine

We took a cab to Pont Neuf which is basically this island in the middle of the Seine with a park and a jetty. SS and RH had walked to a metro and reached quicker as they wanted to “get some steps in”. The city center was a delightful to just be in - the weather was lovely with equal parts sun tingling on my face and occassional cool breezes drifting off the Seine. We just got onto the boat and the boat tour started with this 20-something French guy who could speak fluent French, English, Spanish, and Italian (!) Gauging by his almost instantaneous switch between English and French, I imagined he must be a student and was doing a part-time gig to earn some money. While we slowly drifted from the Orsay museum to the Lourve, and then to the French Parliament, and to the Eiffel tower, his tiny tidbits and trivia kept the audience engaged - such as the bricks for the Concorde bridge were taken from the Bastille or that the craved faces below the Neuf bridge were of the dissenters who believed the architect couldn’t make such a bridge and of his almost 50 mistresses with devil horns - the kind of poetic eloquence I liked. I looked around and around 50% of them seemed like French people - mostly 35+ or 40+ uncles and aunties who had nothing better to do. There were very few college students on the ride which might be explained by the fact that Paris is an expensive city to plan a college trip with friends.

A Parisian bookstore

The vegan lunch

I took some videos of young people jogging along the Seine with the backdrop of the Eiffel. It was a serene experience. In precisely one hour, the tour concluded at 1pm and we headed to the Notre Dame and clicked a few pictures. Then, JJ and SS found a vegan restaurant and we got a sumptous meal. The owner was an emaciated French man in his 40s who wore a Tshirt with a large imprint of the word ‘Om’ - he told us that he had been to Nepal and the whole meditation escapade. Then, he probably figured killing animals is cruel so he opened a vegan restaurant in Paris - I respect such people who take action rather than just speculate. It doesn’t matter what your sphere of influence is but it is the effort that matters and the conviction to stand by what you think is just and right.

A failed exploration at the museum

I, of course, called parents again as we were strolling through the city and showed them lovely bridges, various wares on display at various shops, and a flea market in full swing. After lunch, we went to the the Carnavalet museum which chronicled the history of the city. It was fun but I wasn’t in the mood and got bored. VA was not a musuem person so we got out and went out into the streets in the lovely weather. I wanted to shop so we went to a Uniqlo and then to this huge, almost stadium-sized mall (Later I learnt, it was actually a train station - Les Halles). We didn’t find anything worth buying but we grabbed some coffee at a McDonalds and then started back to the BnB. The sun had already set and Paris, that shrewd maiden, revealed a different axis of her beauty, covered in the garb of the night. No doubt, it’s a beautiful city.

The menu at a typical Parisian cafe. It is not very hard to understand.

Whilst ideas of beauty and truth and justice were going through my head, news started pouring in of a war between Israel-US-Iran. Gradually all Middle East airspaces were shut down and I felt that we might have to stay for a day or two more in Paris. I was indifferent to the idea as mid-sem break had kicked in. Unfortunately for SSY, his plans were greatly upended and he spent most of his time firefighting through it. As the night progresses, me and VA got more confident that our flight would be undisturbed as it was a direct flight to Delhi. Our flight was at 10:35 am so I’ll have to get up early. We played Exploding Kittens for the last time, of course.

As I starting descending into the abyss of sleep, sweet french girls saying french words in their sweet french voices starting playng in my mind, “au revoir”, “haa oui”, “bonjour monsieur”, and so on.

Day 6 - The departure (1st)

There was nothing much to say about Paris anymore. It was a pretty standard, get an Uber to get to the airport, buy some souvenirs keychains, fridge magents at a Relay store, VA bought some perfumes, I bought a Ratatouille stuffed toy wink wink. I wanted to buy a T-shirt but things were pricey here (50 EUR for a T-shirt when 20 would have made sense). I grabbed a falafel salad and some vegan pea soup from a Pret. The ride back was pretty standard. I exchanged seats from my aisle to the middle seat with a (really) tall French woman. The Air France food was horrible as expected. The seats were a bit better. I spent most of my time listening to the Qu’ran on my phone and then watched The War of Rohirrim. I tried to sleep but couldn’t. After 8 hours, we landed in New Delhi. SSY had taken a direct flight back to Bangalore. It was 11:30 pm, VA had booked a hotel at a nearby Radisson. We shared a cab and I went to my hostel. I called my parents around 1 am (who were awake for me!) and then crashed into bed.

Conclusion

Thanks for hanging out uptil this point. I am quite out of writing practise but I wanted to get this trip on paper and not procrastinate it to oblivion like I did my last London trip :’)

I think my worldview didn’t go through a significant change except for a stronger preference for a first world city to be my eventual abode. I’ll refrain from making any more comments in this matter and save the conclusion turning (potentially) vitriolic. As they say, Au revoir!

Image rights

Please be nice and ask me for permission before using any of the above pictures.

Footnotes

Please also be mindful that all of this is going on during my full-term university work as well as company work. I know, crazy.

A Spiritual Reconnect: Trip to Ajmer and Udaipur

gs454236@gmail.com (Basil Labib) — Sun, 23 Nov 2025 13:00:33 +0530

Udaipur ‘25

The last time I went on a trip was in October of last year. After five refreshing days in Kashmir, I decided I wanted more of that beautiful valley and those beautiful people and promised to go back in March of this year. Unfortunately, I got sunk deep in work and never got that opportunity. On top of that, the punishing and demanding challenges of work, study, responsibilities, and life in general made it seem as if the walls of stress and torture were closing in on me. So when my mother expressed her wish to travel to Ajmer, I immediately booked my parents tickets to Delhi.

This is my 5 day travelogue from Delhi to Ajmer and Udaipur undertaken during the first week of October during Dussehra holidays and just after Rendezvous ‘25.

PS: I only took postable pictures of Udaipur, sorry! Also, be nice and ask me before using any of these pictures, thank you :)

Day 0 (30th Sep): In the heat of the moment

Architecture. Udaipur ‘25

The toll of the last few days will surely wear me down, I thought as I settled myself into my sleeper berth on the AC bus bound for Ajmer. It was around 11 in the night and we had just boarded from Munirka. My parents were in the adjacent compartment. I took out my newly bought phone and started setting it up - in the rush of the fest, I had dropped my last phone and shattered it into a useless mess.

The new phone had glyphs and I spent some time playing around with it. After thanking the advisory professors for the tech success of the fest on the hastily setup Whatsapp, I could feel the weariness grow in my bones so I pulled my blanket and tried to sleep. I knew I had to wake up early and get us to hotels in Ajmer - the bus was supposed to reach around 7am.

Day 1 (1st Oct): The adrenaline wears off

Wall Painting. Udaipur ‘25

Through the Lanes of The City. Udaipur ‘25

I woke up around 6 am due to my father’s cajoling and got down from the bus before I could process what was happening. It turns out the driver had left us around 20km away from Ajmer and 2km away from the nearest town called Kishangarh. I was awake by then. I tried to get us Uber intercity but I was aware the attempt was futile and desperate. My mother was standing in the middle of the road. We somehow got onto another bus and reached Ajmer alright. The driver charged us a reasonable 200 rupees. It seemed like a pre-arranged agreement between these drivers. I was shocked because I had booked my tickets through GoIbibo precisely to not be a victim of such tricks. I figured that a complaint email was due but first I needed a bed to crash. The adrenaline build was wearing off and I could feel my muscles all cramped and aching.

We got a hotel around 200m from the Dargah Shareef after considerable hotel hopping. It cost us 2K INR per night since I insisted on a road facing window. The room was on the third floor and secluded enough from the clamor of the streets below. It had an elevator as well for my parents. Being conscious of my parent’s comfort became a recurring theme during this trip and I hope I was able to deliver reasonably.

I slept till afternoon, went out to have lunch and then visited the Dargah in my kurta and pyjamas. I saw huge 100kg+ metal containers on top of a 10ft tall bonfire used for cooking food for the poor. People were donating food and money. The place was swamped with khadims literally meaning “servant” or “attendant”. These supposed descendants of the saint would take you inside the mausoleum sanctum and help you to amplify your prayers to the saint. They, of course, charged a fee. We made sure to stay clear of them.

The rest of the day was restful and quiet as I spent some quality time with my parents at the Adhai Din Ka Jhopra (“The Two and a Half Days Hut”), one of the oldest mosques in India and the cacophonic streets of Ajmer - my most cherished time, always. We put off going to the Taragarh hills to the next day due to fatigue. We had some Mughlai spice and fat heavy dinner at a restaurant after some googling.

Day 2 (2nd Oct): A day of reawakening faith

Roadship Shop 1. Udaipur ‘25

Roadship Shop 2. Udaipur ‘25

Roadship Shop 3. Udaipur ‘25

Day 2 started slow but I had a good sleep so I was rejuvenated. Plans for the day were to explore other things in Ajmer and prepare to leave for Udaipur the next day. I still hadn’t booked any hotels or transport and was pretty much rawdogging it (very unlike me).

We went on a cramped tempo to Taragarh hill, a 30 mins ride costing us around 200 INR for 3 people. The city of Ajmer felt like lego bricks from atop the hill. After averting our share of khadims ushering us to know about the history of the dargah on the hilltop, we went to the inner sanctum and I was honestly blown away by the grandeur and meticule of the architectural design. Millions of tiny mirrors bouncing the warm golden brown light around, giving a playful yet royal feel to the place and on top of that, the cry of khadim, almost intimidating, the background murmuring of prayers and the silent teardrop rolling off the cheeks of the faithful standing in a corner. It was impossible not to feel faith stir up within my soul.

Uber service is highly unreliable in small towns as I soon discovered. We somehow made it to Anasagar Lake and I spent some time meditating, noting, and accounting for the expenses. My parents went for a boat ride on the lake. My mother wanted to visit the Dargah once again and I obliged. Local transport on the auto was dirt cheap.

I could hear the qawwals before I could see them as we entered the inner courtyard. The sanctum was closed but we stood on the sides - some kind of possession seemed to be underway. The qawwals were singing a qawwali (literally “wise utterance” or “saying”) - overgrowth of hair, veining hands masterfully playing the harmonium while their voice continued to hit notes higher and higher. Their entourage assisted with rhythmic hand claps and supporting vocals and accents. Everyone was dressed in white kurta and colorful overcoats just like Nehru used to wear.

Just then, a man emerged from the inner sanctum with a broom and he started mildly hitting the head of people standing in the crowd ahead of us. People started rushing to him as I stood staring. My mother nudged me signaling me to move forward. I resisted as I looked at such things with contempt but she told me “for my sake”. It was a command now. I stepped forward but the man was gone. I turned to my mother and signalled “Tough luck”. She said “Just keep standing”. As if by miracle, another man emerged from the courtyard and landed his broom right and square on my head. I turned and saw tears in my mother’s eyes.

I looked around and found a lot of infants and children running around the sanctum. I inferred they may have been the mannat kids - a personal vow or request for prayer one makes to the saint. I closed my eyes and made a short prayer myself. There were much less crowds at this hour of the late evening and it added to the spiritual surrealism of my second visit.

Roadside Shop 4. Udaipur ‘25

Cloud Painting. Udaipur ‘25

We left after mother shopped for some memoirs for relatives and friends at home. We went to a shopping mall and roamed around a bit. We had food from the food court and I enjoyed Hyderabadi biryani and savoured the heavenly concoction as my nose relished the aromatic jugaalbandi (“interplay” / “medley”) of the spices.

Day 3 (3rd Oct): The city of lakes and palaces

Paintings for sale. Udaipur ‘25

I had already arranged for transport and booked us hotels in Udaipur. Transport was through a privately booked cab through the receptionist at our Ajmer hotel. The transport cost was 4K which was reasonable given it was a point-to-point drop with very minor inconvenience.

Our driver was a Gujarati late-20s guy who chewed tobacco. He was well-spoken and educated. Our conversations dwindled into his enterprising nature and how he owns a fleet of 20 such cabs and runs these intercity services. He told us how he wants to be “closer to the roots” and that’s why he drives the cab himself once a month or so - to understand “customer grievances”. After a 6 hour journey, we reached around 1pm at our hotel and checked in.

We immediately set out to the City Palace after a hearty thali lunch at a nearby restaurant. The city immediately struck me as more lively and prosperous than Ajmer. The air was more lively and youthful. There were also swamps of tourists - both Indian and foreigners. I was in the city of lakes!

Personally, I was feeling numb and don’t have much recollection. The instinct to ensure safety and comfort had kicked in and I could only see myself planning and researching. I watched everything with a sense of detachment. And then, it rained. Cats and dogs.

We somehow managed to get out of City Palace and make it back to the hotel, tired and weary. My father didn’t feel like eating so I went out with my mother. In that tiny cove far away from other people, even father, I found myself growing vulnerable and I spoke my heart out. About a lot of things that were bugging my mind. My mother, ever so patient and understanding - probably, the only person who understands me - listened to me attentively. It felt so good being heard after so long.

Sarees for Sale. Udaipur ‘25

Banks of the Pichola Lake. Udaipur ‘25

Day 4 (4th Oct): Exploring the city

Bagore Ki Haveli ft. Bovine. Udaipur ‘25

We had a quick breakfast at a cheap hotel (there were so many options!) and booked a reasonable auto for a city-wide tour. We started out with Aravali Vatika (a normie garden) and went for a boat ride on the Fateh Sagar Lake and then to some random arcade place and then to some other monument and then to a traditional Rajasthani show. We finished off at the Bagore Ki Haveli but found that the tickets were sold out to my dismay. It was drizzling and the contoured, congested lanes and bylanes of the city center, dotting with hawkers and shops selling a gazillion enameled and dyed accessories and garments looked a bit too beautiful and annoying at the same time. I wasn’t meant to give up. We rushed to the second venue and caught the same show. The rain had stopped and we walked back to the hotel. Udaipur is a small city.

We had food at Bawarchi, serving a variety of cuisines. I wanted to have their thali but unfortunately they only served on a per person basis which I felt would be too wasteful. We settled for an a la carte menu. I really enjoyed exploring Udaipur’s food offerings!

At the hotel, I booked our bus tickets back to Delhi using FlixBus after being annoyed by the GoIbibo service and was careful and wary. It cost me a bit more but the trip quality and service was worth it.

Pigeons 1. Udaipur ‘25

Pigeons 2. Udaipur ‘25

Day 5 (5th Oct): Wandering Body and Wandering Mind

Inner Sanctum 1. Udaipur ‘25

Inner Sanctum 2. Udaipur ‘25

Our bus was in the evening and we had the whole day. I had no particular plan and so got more carefree and relaxed. Aimlessly wandering around the city was the plan. As I was relatively more relaxed, I found the mental bandwidth to click a few pictures. We went to Navlakha Mahal, a palace turned into a tourist attraction, and saw a short film on the history of Maharana Pratap Singh and Emperor Akbar. The film leaned towards an anti-Mughal sentiment which was understandable. We roamed around the city through its lanes and streets, along the banks of the Pichola Lake, aided by my handy Google maps. Dad had some tea, mom did some window shopping. We stumbled into the Muslim-majority area along the banks of the lake and dad was a bit shocked. I could see sense the change in the clealiness of the area. We went to get some comfort food and then to a random mall where we rested. It was almost time so we went back to our hotel, collected our baggage and went to the bus stop. After some initial hiccups at the designated stop zone, we onboarded and started out. The bus stopped around midnight at a dhaba and we had some parantha and got snacks for my parents. The ride back was comfortable and restful.

Few cool things I saw at the Bagore museum

Puppet Room. Udaipur ‘25

Wall Painting. Udaipur ‘25

Panna Dhai. She sacrificed her son to save the prince. Udaipur ‘25

Hadi Rani. She chopped her head to motivate her husband to go to war. Udaipur ‘25

Day 6 (6th Oct): All good things end

At around 7 am, we reached Dhaula Kuan metro station. We were in Delhi. The campus was around 2km away and I got an auto after a futile Uber search. I had breakfast at my hostel and checked mom and dad at a nearby hotel. Alas, it was back to drudgery and the monotonicity of assignments and deadlines.

Tree By the Lake. Udaipur ‘25

Reflections

I won’t kid myself or patronise myself by just admitting the truth - I find it extremely tiring to plan out trips especially when there are dependents. However, it is an incredible experience and an amazing learning opportunity.

Human songs and dance is such an incredible and potent form of human expression. I love my country. My advice to you, my dear readers, will be to travel. Travel a lot across this magnificent land where the east and the west and the north and the south bear no semblance but all are united through the idea of India. It’s a beautiful idea that just seems to work.

Can’t wait to know more of my motherland.

Lakescape. Udaipur ‘25

Trial by Fire: Tenure as Head of Technology at Rendezvous ‘25

gs454236@gmail.com (Basil Labib) — Wed, 05 Nov 2025 12:41:54 +0530

Disclaimer: This post may contain expletives.

This post chronicles my experiences as head of technology at Rendezvous ‘25 , the annual cultural fest of IIT Delhi and lays out how events unfolded in roughly chronological order, what challenges we faced, how we overcame them, how I managed a team, and finally, delivered to keep the awesome tech culture going at RDV. For those of you who didn’t get a pronite pass and are cursing me right now, please read on.

This post is written as a review document for myself to come to later and revisit the technical challenges, social challenges, and indeed the intense drama of it all. I think the lessons drawn from this experience are timeless and apply to any intersection of humans and technology (More on this later, if you’re confused). This post is a heartfelt appreciation post for those who stood by my side during these times and it is also a warning to those who did not heed my warnings. More importantly, this post is for the thoughtful so they may learn something from this hard-earned wisdom.¹

The beginning

For the uninitiated, Rendezvous or RDV is the annual cultural fest of IIT Delhi and witnesses more than 10K footfall from around the country to the IIT Delhi campus, hosts more than 100+ events, competitions, and is a 4 day mega-event. The entire fest is organised by students. The hierarchy has the CTMs at the top and are generally final year students followed by coordinators and executives. There are over 35 verticals ranging from marketing, publicity, events, and so on. The tech vertical is responsible for maintaining detailed records of registrations, entry, gate passes, event passes, concert night booking and security management. It facilitates the RDV campus ambassador program (CAP) with a task-based tracker system. It also develops and maintains the official RDV website which serves as the face of the fest in cyberspace. As you can imagine, this vertical facilitates tracking, accountability, and complements other verticals like security, publicity, marketing, and just about every other vertical.

Timelines

This year, RDV was scheduled from 27th to 30th Sep. The notification for the CTM applications were floated during last week of July and I filled the form out of curiosity. I wanted to get more hands-on experience in leading a tech team and ship products that people actually use - RDV Tech is one of the best places to get this valuable experience in IIT Delhi. Sure enough, I was selected along with a junior and we started out recruiting the team. We had around 60 days to do everything. Everything.

Building a team

We decided to keep a lean team with a flat hierarchy to reduce communication overhead. In practice, the tech team is involved in a workflow at the very end and other verticals just assume that everything is possible in tech (At least, that’s how it works in college fests). This meant that we needed shorter feedback cycles to deliver and keeping a 3-tiered team just won’t cut it. When other verticals had more than 20 or even 30 people, the tech team finally came down to 5 people. Yes, just five people.

The team mantra

The mantra I followed was to get only A players, pack as much talent as possible in as few people as possible. This required multiple cycles of hiring and firing and I am glad I did this - an excellent team is absolutely non-negotiable. A lot of what we achieved this time was only possible because of my team. I had to fire around five to six people before I settled on a team of five people who showed up everyday, did the work, and more importantly, enjoyed doing the work. Among these five people, I had two “core” juniors who were exceptionally diligent and sincere (You know who you are :)). I often used to notice how people worked - some of them just grudgingly fed the entire spec to GPT and expected a UI out of magic while some genuinely enjoyed what they were doing - looking at network tab and response code to figure out what’s wrong, using GPT to their advantage and not as a barrier, and those who didn’t tell me “This is not working” but who told me “This is not working because of X and I know how to fix it”. These are the kind of people one should vehemently seek and nurture.

I remember quite vividly what one of my team member told me in my first meet (slightly paraphrased): “Waise toh meine socha tha ki RDV ka kaam nahi karunga magar mein log dekh kar kaam karta hun aur aap mujhe acche lage” (I thought I would leave RDV team but I found your personality appealing, that’s why I decided to stay). wink wink

Overview of Systems (Slightly technical)

I have been extolling the tech team a lot but what exactly does the tech team do?

The RDV tech infrastructure is developed from scratch by the RDV team and combines years of experience passed on from previous CTMs. We reused a lot of the infrastructure set up by last year’s team, managed, and modified a lot of the services to cater to the growing needs of the team. The RDV tech infra is a microservices-based design comprising multiple services like the main website, CA portal, admin portal, pronite portal, a URL proxy service, a mailing server, and a centralised OAuth authentication service. We also maintain a mobile app for scanning gate and concert passes for tracking admissions. All services are hosted and managed on AWS and feature multiple layers of rate limits. We use AWS firewall (WAF) as well as cloudflare’s rate limit rules, and involve Google ReCAPTCHA service for selecting high traffic stages in our workflows (such as authentication, and pass booking) to eliminate bot attack attempts.

Some new things we tried this time:

Gate passes and Event level passes
Integration of marketing deliverables in gate pass generation workflows
Integration of additional biometric data as per security guidelines
Integration of an ML pipeline for automated task verification
Complete rehaul of the CA Admin portal
A new mailing server, and a temporary service monitor dashboard
Stress testing of high traffic and mission-critical services using Locust

Early Days - Setting things up

After I got access to the AWS and Github org, I started poking around the existing services. The last CTM had done a fantastic job of organising a lot of these things already such as dockerising services, setting up environments on AWS Beanstalk. This was even my first time managing AWS and I knew I would be managing the entire infrastructure some time in the future so I knew I had to master it. Some loss of sleep hours and I was mostly familiar with the basic tools of the trade for there is no better way to learn how to douse a fire than when there is one on your tail.

If you are connecting AWS RDS using PgAdmin, remember to turn ssl_mode to require. This one configuration took way too long to figure out. And indeed, good DevOps is all a matter of correct configurations. I quickly started making SOPs for deployment and cleanup. See an example SOP below:

[Redacted]

In all this, Perplexity helped a lot in speeding up the search process and retrieving only relevant info in an easy to digest format. I think for devs, Perplexity just makes so much more sense than wading through 10 SO threads before you start getting an idea of what’s going wrong. I got a Cursor Pro subscription and gave it to the team even though they were initially reluctant (coding purists). However, later on, they told me that Cursor had, in fact, helped them quickly prototype designs, especially UI stuff, which just kept changing a lot - a typical feature of fests.

Deploying my first app on AWS

I remember deploying my first environment on EBS took around an hour - creating IAMs with proper roles, checking and double-checking each role’s permissions, setting env variables, configuring VPC subnets, configuring load balancers, configuring firewalls, configuring the database and the service user and double-checking their permissions, configuring third party services like 2Factor for mobile OTP service (Great service at reasonable price and very cooperative person, 10/10 recommend), instance types, and codepipelines for continuous deployment. Once again, I was reminded that there is no room for mistakes and there is no room for assumption.

Along with learning myself, I had to manage communications with the larger team and had to deliver on the CA Portal in a matter of a week since it would be used a month or so leading up to the main fest. I remember the minor exams were also coming up and I had some other prior commitments that I had to tackle as well. As usual, the design team did a sloppy job and we had to improvise on our own to make the design functional. It is partly not their fault as the designer had never used the CA portal or knew about its workflows and what kind of issues the users might face.

The CAP took two days and at least 10 attempts to deploy partly due to poorly understood GPT written code, some overconfidence on part of the developer, and an extra front slash in the environment URL configuration. The path BASE_URL/route should have been used instead of BASE_URL/route/. Eventually, the team figured it out and I’m sure learned a lot in the process. There were countless such issues that forced us to think analytically and often under time constraints.

Work culture

As I already said, the initial days were tumultuous in terms of team composition, I had to remove people almost on a daily basis but eventually the team settled down and the first thing I did was set up a work culture. I signalled it simply by showing up every single day at the exact same time at the same location and asking everyone to do the same. This move meant that the RDV tech team meant business, that the team lead was not messing around, that the team had to actively take up issues and open PR against them. Surprisingly, almost all of my team were sophomores who had little idea about what git even was and so I had to painstakingly (but patiently) teach them about git workflows.

INSERT: meeting at 9pm at sac message

Eventually, the daily 9pm meets at SAC, often extending till 5am in the morning (!) turned out to be great for team bonding as intense coding sessions and discussions gave way to gossip and romance tales, sometimes over regular night mess treats. I think that money was well-spent in establishing trust as I established myself as a senior who was not just interested in getting work done but who was genuinely interested in the flourishing and well-being of my juniors.

Dealing with liabilities

My Co-CTM was turning out to be more of a liability than an asset: not showing up, having to follow up multiple times, no interest in the work, no responsibility or accountability. It turned out to be so bad that work started suffering and I had to report him. The larger team decided to let them go but then I practised compassion and asked them not to. Ironically, my compassion came back to bite me later but more on this later. All I learnt from this experience was that not everyone is meant to be a leader and being too compassionate is probably not okay. Spending even one more word on this is useless just as I decided spending a minute of thought would be back at that time.

Time for reflection

Leading a tech team also exposes an opportunity to understand and discover oneself. I started noticing things about how I manage things, interact with others, and questioning everything. I have an eye for detail, understand people psychology (an indispensable but rare asset for engineers), and am slightly OCD-ed. I remember getting really pissed off and tensed over a single link not working on the mobile version of the footer of the main website.

As the team got busy with assimilating the existing codebase and writing more code, I concerned myself with administrative things and the budget in particular. We needed at least 1000 USD going by last year’s cost and we got exactly 0 USD from the team. Multiple reminders to the concerned verticals were watered down or ignored at worst. Out of my self dignity, I stopped constantly reminding them. We had some leftover credits from last year and I decided to manage with that. It would mean rigorously optimising all services, adopting a lean strategy, and cutting down on frivolous costs (Ironically, we ended up wasting 200 USD on a pilot app that was of no value eventually due to carelessness on my co-CTM’s part).

Good software = Reduce human cognitive load

Designing the CA Portal and the accompanying Admin portal was a masterclass in developing production-grade software that thousands of people used. It also meant that even a single word in the instructions would wreak confusion on thousands. The leverage we had was insane. One thing we learnt was that keeping the target audience in mind while designing the app was most important. We had to ensure each page transition was as simple as possible for cognitive kindness and easier comprehension. If we were careless, users got confused and we had to explain things on a one-on-one basis. We even had to dumb down “clear cache” to “clear browser cookies” and then eventually to “use a different device”. One piece of advice for the future team will be to ensure good cookie management on the frontend. Even with accessibility, mobile-first approaches, there were one-off issues with devices because some had ad-blockers or pop-up blockers installed and just weird edge-cases that we had not anticipated on an average user. That is the thing, right? One is not developing for the average user, one is developing for all users.

Our previous OTP service had some issues so we started searching for a new one. We found 2Factor.in which turned out to be more reliable than I expected. Due to time and resource constraints, we didn’t do DLT registration and went ahead with a default mobile carrier that 2Factor helpfully provided. We did registration trend analysis to find peak demands and last year’s volume data to pick a cost-effective plan.

The first crisis

Inspite of all precautions and SOPs I could write, it is inevitable that things would fail and I got a taste of it right on the day of the first major run of the CA Portal with the internal team. The idea was to onboard the internal team to track their progress on the task and do a makeshift identification system where we tweak their internal IDs to mark them as RDV team members. At this point, we had three types of users on the platform: non-IITD external users - treated as a typical CA, full task management, approval system, and points tracking IITD, non-RDV user - also treated as a typical CA but kinda redundant IITD, RDV users - treated as a typical CA but have to complete specially marked tasks only.

One advice for the future team will be to implement a Task Name and some kind of tagging system for accommodating one-off publicity team requirements.

Anyways, back to the story, the entire team of ~600 have to be onboarded on the platform on Sep 26th and I start getting reports of the authentication system failing. I initially dismiss such reports because there is generally some error on their end so my reaction time is longer to classify reports of a particular kind as a genuine issue. By the time I realised there’s an issue, the team was already gearing up to onboard the platform. I realised there would be massive chaos, so I ran to fix the issue. The issue turned out to be the failing reCAPTCHA service which had exhausted the free trial limit. I laughed so hard. I added my credit card and shifted everything to a paid account. Even last year’s CTM reported that the same thing happened to him two days before the fest.

The big mistake

I was aware that this year’s RDV will be under strict administrative supervision due to fund misappropriation allegations last year. This also meant less funds in general. To help the larger team, I agreed to onboard a third party service (say, DumbCompany) for the pass booking workflow. The pronite pass booking workflow is one of the most critical parts of the tech infra and we have a custom server catering to it. DC was a total black box for me. Their code was closed source and there was no obvious security measure that you expect to see on a ticketing platform. Anyways, we started collaborating and it translated to a lot of grunt work on my end such as copy pasting data from one sheet to another, creating redundant event objects on their platform since they did not have user categorisation. They didn’t even have user access control!!! I approved the risk since I was too blinded by “helping the larger team” inspite of clear instructions from last year’s CTM to not integrate any stupid platform with tech. In any case, their entire system was compromised on day 2 of the fest but we are getting ahead of things here.

One great thing I did, however, was that I approved only a partial collaboration with DC since I didn’t trust them one bit. This meant that the booking step would still be done by RDV tech and only the pass distribution would be handled by DC. This was an attempt to reduce blast radius in case of an emergency. We had no idea what information they had in their QR passes (!). Since this was a first time collaboration, a lot of the things had to makeshift as I highlighted above and all of the burden came down to me which I silently endured. They didn’t even have an API!!!! The entire system was opaque with no documentation, no statistics, no insights into what’s going on. It felt like being built over a weekend by a bunch of sophomores and definitely not a service that you roll out to cater to twenty thousand users.

Marketing team

You guys need to understand that tech is not child’s play. Everything has to be properly configured, designed, tested, and secured before releasing it to people. This is because people love to “hack” websites and claim they hacked “RDV”. The tech RDV has evolved over the years is built to prevent every such nonsense. Adding new tasks during registration workflows at the last minute (increasing average registration time from 30 seconds to 1+ minutes) only meant lower registration rates - a simple psychological point that was lost on the marketing team.

As the days of the fest drew closer, conversations with DC got more intense since they had no infra to cater to RDV. As I was one of the two CTMs from the PG program, I expected feeling left out. But I started feeling treated as an outsider and the vertical at large was being neglected. The idea of not feeling welcomed didn’t bode well with me but I ignored it. I knew what I was building and I didn’t expect non-tech people to appreciate or even understand it at all.

The Insults and Slanders

Due to last year’s fund misappropriation allegations, the admin had mandated that the CTM team sign an undertaking to personally bear the cost of any deficits in the fest’s expenditure. On request for this year’s budget sheet, I was once again ignored by the marketing team. That’s when I decided to post a message on the CTM group saying that I will shut down the entire tech infra if I do not get the sheet by morning. I posted the message at 3 am and went to sleep. The sly thing about this arrangement was that the declaration was given to us at 10pm a day before the fest and our access cards were conditional on signing the declaration. Needless to say, I was furious. After countless nights of toiling fruitlessly for an event, I felt I was being insulted in plain sight now. There were some bitter messages posted about me by certain people in the group. I was hurt but chose to ignore - after all, how can you empty an already hollow soul? Some screenshots of the chat as proof:

[Redacted]

Day 1

I woke up on day 1 and checked my phone and you won’t believe what I saw. A SHATTERED SCREEN! My phone was dead. I had 3 days of the ultimate test for 2 months of my team’s work. I got one of my junior’s phones as an immediate aid but lost all MFA setup on my old phone. Somehow I managed to setup auth for AWS and cloudflare on the new phone. My contacts were gone. It was a mess. I lost all my photos which included some of my most treasured memories. I was heartbroken but too numb to realise the implications back then.

Day 0 pronite bookings were a breeze. I expected this because no major artists were performing so demand were low. This also didn’t push the system enough for me to diagnose that I had actually forgotten to apply the firewall to the load balancer attached to the Pronite portal application instance…Oops.

When a million requests swarmed the system for day 1 bookings and I saw the system struggle to keep up, I quickly realised that all those sleepless nights of thankless work was for this moment, it wasn’t for some dumb POR or ego satisfaction, it was to feel the adrenaline rush when your engineering systems are put to the test in the wild. After initial hiccups with the WAF, it went smoothly.

Due to the dumb as fuck design of DC, I had to send data to the company in google sheets (yes, I know, DUMB). It was time-consuming and error prone and obviously not how things are done. Sure enough, I missed a sheet and a group of MSc students didn’t get any passes. Moreover, an important callout informing the end user about all slots filled was in white text colour and hence didn’t show up on a white background - “white on white bug”. I laughed. Good UI design is so damn important.

“It is working on my machine” is not a valid solution, designing apps for hundreds of user demands thinking laterally - it’s about empathising with conditions and experiences that you can never live by yourself.

What happened on Day 2

DC had just exposed an endpoint to show QR codes on the portal. That dumb endpoint required us to do intensive cryptographic calculation on our end. We pushed the update at 10 am and the pass booking slots were from 12 noon. I noticed that passes were not getting booked. Fuck.

I called the previous CTM and we got on a call to figure out the issue together. It turned out to be a memory hogging issue. Apparently, the new code had saturated all vRAM on the servers. Kudos to Shanky for diagnosing the issue in due time. I throttled the instance RAM by upgrading from small to medium and adjusted the quotas. We were fully booked.

The setup

The entry for day 2 was supposed to start from 5pm. We anticipated around 2000 students and 1000 guests, faculty, staff, sponsors, and so on. That’s a crowd of 3000 people. Delhi Police forces and the IITD security team along with bouncers were deployed. I could feel the adrenaline building. We were in talk with CSC to ensure that the external sender was whitelisted because if people didn’t get the QR code from DC on their emails, it would be a disaster.

Now, how DC’s system worked was that the issuer and scanner had the same login credentials. THERE WAS NO USER ACCESS CONTROL. The security team had decided to share the issuer credentials with freshers who will be scanning the passes at the venue entrance. This, in principle, meant that an inquisitive fresher could gain access to issuing passes if they could enter the OTP before it expired on the issuer portal. That’s exactly what happened.

The discovery

Around 3pm, one of my team members noticed something curious. There were hundreds of emails being sent to the director’s email id. Hundreds. The dumb people at DC marketed their ticketing system as a unique token for each user, then how can there be 600+ tokens issued to the same email id? I was infuriated. But even more than that, I was trying to figure out the implication of this. Clearly, some one has gotten access to the issuer portal, there was no access or event log for tracing, there was only one admin account with all permission. This was a doomed situation.

The countermeasures

We immediately called DC’s representative and he basically raised his hands saying that he has “no control” over the system. I was beyond infuriated. I had to keep calm. I had to navigate this situation. The first thing I did was pull the plug on all DC issued QR codes. We sent out an email via the dean around 4pm saying that all such QRs are invalid. We replaced the DC scanner with our native scanner. We generated our fresh tokens and made it live on the booking portal itself under the Profile section. That would take care of the already booked users but we still had ~1000 people who were given passes due to their privilege like team members, staff, and so on. My fantastic team of 2 people whipped up an endpoint for batch QR generation and we manually distributed the QR codes to these people.

At 5:30 pm, the queues were hundreds of people long. The first scan failed. My heart sank. At that moment, I felt my second adrenaline rush of the day. I knew at the back of my mind that this subsystem was entirely untested on day 1, if this fails at this point there are thousands of people waiting to get entry. Memories of the stampede during my second year of RDV flashed at the back of my mind. Fuck. I checked the credentials and realised that the scanning schedule had to be updated. We did that and the first QR scanned. I cannot express my relief when I saw that green tick show up. Our system was deployed in production without testing and it worked. I was super proud of my team.

What could have gone worse?

If the adversary was a bit more clever, they could have scraped the entire IITD directory and sent an email to all ten thousand members with a QR code. The system wouldn’t have complained because there was no damn upper limit - there was no uniqueness check even. A cleverly orchestrated attack would probably masquerade this as distributed across various user categories so detecting would be harder and by the time it could be figured out, things would be too late. That would mean ten thousand people showing up anticipating an entry into a venue of only three thousand capacity. A sure-shot recipe for a stampede. Thankfully, the attacker was not that sophisticated which makes me think there were either first or second year students.

We got lucky

We were super lucky to discover this attack early enough to invalidate everything from DC and shift to our system in time. I am super proud of my team doing the heavy lifting within one hour. Talk about shipping cycles and saving the day.

Reflections

During this whole time, me and my team were holed up at the PFC studio at SAC along with the marketing coordinator, CTM (the same person who had written bitter words to me in the group a day before the fest), and the overall coordinator. We also had to explain everything to the professors and the deans. I could see life getting sucked out of the coordinator who had onboarded DC as calls started pouring in from the deans. I could sense his inexperience and honestly, I felt pity for him. I was naive and uneducated in the way of the world at some point too. I hope he learnt something that day. My respect for elders also increased manifolds that day. I realised how many times they have knowingly and unknowingly saved our asses when we fucked up. Except in this case, I was the one saving the situation. Retrospecting, that split second decision to invalidate all DC issued QR code feels unprecedented and honestly, unreal. Maybe a bit reckless as well, given we hadn’t tested our native system at all. I felt like Icarus, either flying into the sun or burning to the sea. We soar.

I didn’t get my pass, what should I do?

To everyone who didn’t get a pass, read this carefully. There are 10K members in the IITD community and the venue has a cap of 3000. Even if we were fully booked, 70% of people just won’t get a pass. That’s why there’s at most one criteria to ensure at least 60% of people get to experience at least one concert. This is not tech’s fault. That’s the sad reality of it.

If you have ever taken a computer networks course, you will understand that there are a number of random factors that affect how requests are ordered and go from client to server. The pass booking system is 100% fair in the sense that everyone has a fair chance of requesting for a pass. Whether that request reaches the server depends on your local network topology, your average bandwidth, your local latency which means how many other clients are connected to your router and how many hops it takes from your router to reach the server². In that sense, the pass booking process is essentially a fair lottery for all which is how it should be. So, if you didn’t get a pass, tough luck.

Day 3

The next day, the overall coordinator told me that the guy who had written bitter words about me had apologised. I forgave him.

While I was busy with these, another set of events were unfolding on Reddit. Apparently, people who didn’t get a pass were writing hate messages about me on the r/IITDelhi. I received many concealed hate messages IRL and some of my outside juniors tried to humiliate me by using under-handed scorns for invalidating the QRs because that’s what they saw on the outside. I smiled and shrugged it off. Even if I explained what we had prevented, they probably wouldn’t have the aptitude to understand.

My “co-CTM” who had effectively stopped working but had marketed himself as a RDV CTM started receiving a lot of flak on his social media from people not getting their passes. Karma, I guess.

The final day was a breeze. DC was gone for good. I was confident in my system. My team worked late to incorporate small cosmetic changes like color-coding passes for various categories as per feedback received from the on-ground team. These were good suggestions. In all this chaos, I missed experiencing the fest, of course. My last RDV as a student. I was only looking forward to the qawwali night which I couldn’t attend. Last year, Nizami Bandhu performed and it was surreal. It’s okay. Sacrifice is the cost of leading as I knew from Literati days as well.

My parents were in Delhi and we had a bus booking to go to Ajmer at 10pm on Day 3 (!) for a 5 day trip. I know. Crazy. Moreover, I had to buy a new phone before that. I landed up in Select Citywalk and bought a Nothing 3a from Croma. I also bought my new Mac from the adjacent Apple store since that was the last day for the offer (I got almost 50K worth of value from the offer!). I had tried to buy the laptop two days back but couldn’t due to credit limits. I think it was written that I would buy my first Mac with contributions from my parents and my father’s card. I must be one lucky guy.

I took my parents to the Day 3 concert. Ankit Tiwari was performing. My parents saw the crowd, saw the energy, saw the vibe and I told them “This is what I have been working for”. I forgot the fatigue, the stress, and the adrenaline wearing out. It was all worth it in that moment. I am super grateful I got my parents to experience an RDV concert.

Some numbers (because an engineer’s life is incomplete without it)

What did we deliver exactly? I looked at the Cloudflare numbers after the fest and I was shocked. We served 130K+ unique visitors and served around 13M+ requests. Entry scanning records show more than 10K visitors though this is a lower bound. We have 20K user registrations. All of this within the span of 60 days across 10+ services.

System summary

The following section is copied from my Linkedin post .

Few architecture designs:

Two tiered caching and rate limiting via Cloudflare and AWS. Google RECAPTCHA integration for anti-bot measures.
AWS CloudFront CDN for optimised website experience.
Core OAuth Service featuring multiple social media login options and integration with Kerberos, IITD’s internal auth system.
AWS WAFs, Load balancers, and EBS housed in their own VPC for scalable and secure web applications.
VLM on AWS Bedrock for automated task verification.
Event and Pronite passes scanned via in-house mobile app for real-time update on venue occupancy for crowd management.
Siloed distributed services to reduce blast radius.
Simulations run on Locust to estimate service performance under stress.
CloudPipeline integration for one push builds via Github CI/CD.
RDS Postgres (Database), S3 (Storage), SES (Emails), SNS (SMS), and SEO optimization using sitemaps and Google Rich Results.

Challenges, Advice, and Lessons

If you have made it this far, thank you! What did we learn from all this? Here are my key takeaways for the future team:

Do NOT fuck around with tech - current system is designed taking into account years of learning, no “3rd party integration” unless every single line of their code is audited by the RDV tech team. Even then, just don’t.
Please give a budget to the tech vertical.
Make a capable Tech CTM near year. The system is more than capable to handle RDV workloads (tested for 2 years), it needs to be configured properly though.

Personal challenges

Every vertical had two CTMs except tech. All workload on me.
Thankless working, less bonding with larger CTM team. Most of them were juniors I didn’t know. I knew only 2 or 3 (you know who you are :))
Extreme sacrifices made - I could have published papers in ML conferences, could have spent more time freelancing, could have prepped for placements, could have focused more on learning and upskilling but a word is a word and it must be kept even if it meant dying for it.
It is extremely hard to communicate tech stuff to non-tech people. These people will never understand what goes on to make things work - they just take things for granted (for instance, integrating the Gemini sponsor task which entailed opening a pop-up window but most users had pop-up blockers installed so it “didn’t work”)
I lost my RFID ID card. I had to register a complaint and pay a fine.
Potentially lost chance for a romance. There was this girl during RDV who texted. I couldn’t meet her due to my obligations. Anyways, she blocked me when I texted back after the fest so like whatever.

Resiliency and hard work can overcome all odds. And a good team. It is most crucial to have a good team. This was, in all respects, a trial by fire.

Footnotes

1: I really want to emphasize “hard” here.

2: The quant-minded amongst you might think of reducing this latency by moving your request “closer to the source”. I think this won’t work since all requests are re-routed through a proxy service and shaving a few hops in the IITD network may not be enough to get that edge. But if someone wants to try this out, happy to help. I am actually curious to see someone pull this off and report actual numbers.

Implement a Minimax Agent for Optimal Tic Tac Toe Play

gs454236@gmail.com (Basil Labib) — Wed, 22 Oct 2025 18:46:47 +0530

I hear and I forget. I see and I remember. I do and I understand.

~Confucius

I implemented a (very) simple agent to optimally play the game of tic tac toe (or noughts and crosses). In this post, I will outline the algorithm I used, how I modelled the problem, and walk you through the code. Feel free to mess around with the code here . It is surprising how the core search algorithm is just around 20 lines of code.

Motivation

Well, I am self-learning the AI course offered by my university which is taught by an exceptional professor . It is rare that I find myself wanting to code every algorithm taught in class let alone show up to class. I guess I am just too choosy when it comes to learning¹. Anyhow, I decided to implement the minimax algorithm to solve tic-tac-toe because it seems fun, tractable, and a good way to brush up recursion programming. I spent around 1.5 hours coding and an hour debugging the whole thing (with some help from dear ChatGPT).

A typical Tic Tac Toe game tree

Tic Tac Toe for dummies

This section is probably preposterous but for the sake of completeness, here is how tic-tac-toe is played. It is a 2-player turn based game where each player places their piece “X” or “O” on a 3x3 grid. The first player to make a horizontal, vertical, or diagonal combination wins. It is what is called a deterministic, two-player, zero sum, fully observable game in game theory parlance. These kinds of games can be optimally solved theoretically and can be solved in practice if you just throw enough compute at some naive algorithm. One such naive but foundational algorithm is minimax.

What is the minimax algorithm?

The core abstraction that we will work with is called a game tree . It is an abstract object which formalizes all possible ways that a game can proceed. We represent game states as nodes of this tree and represent reachable game states as children based on some valid move. Of course, some states are better than others from the player’s perspective. How can we formalise this idea? We assign values to each node in the game tree representing how good it is to be in that state. This is convenient because it allows us to apply utility maximization to compute best moves. A little thought will convince you that if you can compute all possible ways a game can be played and pick the best moves based on utility maximization, you have indeed found the optimal game play. Nobody can beat you.

How do we compute these node values? Assume we are thinking from the computer’s perspective. We need to output a move from the available set of moves given the game state. If I give you the value of the game state if you played one of the moves, you can tell me the best move (just pick the move with the max value). We recursively construct this tree implicitly in the code by counterfactually reasoning about “what if? scenarios” - “What if X played at position 3, then O can play at positions 5, 6, 7. But if it plays at 6 then X wins, so it must play at 5 to block X” and similar arguments.

This should give you an idea about the adversarial nature of minimax. The values for the computers are exactly the opposite of the values for the human. If we looked at the game trees constructed by the two players from a given game state, they would be exactly same except that all the values would be inversed. The minimax algorithm formalises this notion by maximizing values for its own actions and minimizing values for the opponent’s actions. We’ll see how it’s implemented in code later. The big assumption here is that your opponent is also a rational agent trying to maximise its own utility.

Modelling TicTacToe as Adversarial search

What do we really need to make this agent? Well, we need to represent the game state somehow. This is implemented as a simple 9 element list of strings in Python where “-” represents an empty cell.

game: list[“X” | “O” | “-”]

We need a function to decide whether we have a winner. This is implemented by the get_winner(game) function which is really just a dumb bunch of if-elses due to the simple and small number of win conditions for TicTacToe.

tictactoe.py

 def get_winner(self):
 # verticals
 if self.game[0] == "X" and self.game[3] == "X" and self.game[6] == "X":
 return "X"
 elif self.game[1] == "X" and self.game[4] == "X" and self.game[7] == "X":
 return "X"
 elif self.game[2] == "X" and self.game[5] == "X" and self.game[8] == "X":
 return "X"
 # horizontals
 elif self.game[0] == "X" and self.game[1] == "X" and self.game[2] == "X":
 return "X"
 elif self.game[3] == "X" and self.game[4] == "X" and self.game[5] == "X":
 return "X"
 elif self.game[6] == "X" and self.game[7] == "X" and self.game[8] == "X":
 return "X"
 # diagonals
 elif self.game[0] == "X" and self.game[4] == "X" and self.game[8] == "X":
 return "X"
 elif self.game[2] == "X" and self.game[4] == "X" and self.game[6] == "X":
 return "X"

We need functions which can transition the game state, namely game.make_move(position, piece) and its inverse game.undo_move(position). Simple and cute functions.

tictactoe.py

 
 def make_move(self, pos, piece):
 if self.game[pos] != "-":
 raise ValueError("Uh oh, cannot make move, cell already occupied!")
 self.game[pos] = piece
 
 def undo_move(self, pos):
 self.game[pos] = "-"

We also need a function which will allow us to evaluate how good a board state is. How can we do this? Well, assume if there are no more moves left, what can happen now? It’s either a draw or we have a winner. Accordingly, we can return 0, 1 (if the computer wins) or -1 (if the human wins). That’s for the leaves, you say, but what about the non-leaf nodes? Well, we simply recurse on the children on the current node and return the best value (minimizing or maximising based on the level parity which represents whose turn it is).

Implementation details and caveats

I’ll not go through every line of code but I’ll note some interesting caveats and bugs I came across while implementing this. There’s one obvious limitation in the code. It doesn’t let you choose your piece. The human is always “X” and always the first to move. Maybe one of you can raise a PR!

Initially, I was always checking for the termination condition for the recursion when there were no available moves left which meant at level 9 but I realised that games can also end at the higher level. That’s when I modified the agent’s compute_move function to check for wins or losses just after it makes a counterfactual move. If it does, then we can just return and save ourselves from recursing!

tictactoe.py

 def compute_node_value(self, level):
 """
 Assumption, we are at max nodes on odd numbered levels
 we are on min nodes on even numbered levels

 Output: (val, pos)
 """
 moves = self.agentgame.get_available_moves()
 
 # pdb.set_trace()
 if len(moves) == 0:
 self.max_depth = level
 self.nodes_explored += 1
 return (self.evaluate_board_state(self.agentgame), -1) # at the leaf, there are no valid moves as there are no children of leaf
 
 values = []
 self.total_branches += len(moves)

 for move in moves:
 self.agentgame.make_move(move, "O" if level % 2 == 1 else "X")
 self.nodes_explored += 1
 if self.agentgame.get_winner() in ("X", "O"):
 values.append((self.evaluate_board_state(self.agentgame), move)) 
 else:
 val, _ = self.compute_node_value(level + 1) 
 values.append((val, move))
 self.agentgame.undo_move(move)
 

 if level % 2 == 1: # odd valued levels are max levels 
 return max(values, key=lambda x: x[0])
 else: # even valued levels are min levels
 return min(values, key=lambda x: x[0])

One more subtle bug which ChatGPT helped me identify was the value function was computing the values and moves of the current node but was somehow returning the moves of the children. Well, you can never be too careful in recursion hell.

Even after reading the code again and again, I still found that the agent was playing stupidly. I suspected that this was due to my stupidity (!) which indeed, it was. I was calling the agent at each game state with an incremental level value which essentially turned it into its own adversary and it was flipping between it’s own friend and foe. LOL.

Results and demo run

I also felt like collecting some statistics to see how large the search trees were. On my laptop, search was instantaneous and the maximum nodes explored were around 60K at the start of the game. The search tree drastically reduces with each level as the number of valid moves decreases.

==== AGENT COMPUTATION SUMMARY ====
Making move 0 with value 0
Max depth explored: 9
Nodes explored: 60112
Total branches: 55504
Average branching factor: 0.9233430928932659
===== END AGENT COMPUTATION SUMMARY ====

Here’s a simplified game run. I chose this because the computer actually beat me as I wasn’t paying attention and it forced me into a game state to guarantee its win. Bewildering stuff!


❯ python tictactoe.py
Move number: 1
- - -
- - -
- - -
Enter move> 1
==== AGENT COMPUTATION SUMMARY ====
Making move 0 with value 0
Max depth explored: 9
Nodes explored: 69088
Total branches: 63904
Average branching factor: 0.9249652616952293
===== END AGENT COMPUTATION SUMMARY ====
Move number: 2
O X -
- - -
- - -
Enter move> 2
==== AGENT COMPUTATION SUMMARY ====
Making move 3 with value 1
Max depth explored: 7
Nodes explored: 1336
Total branches: 1228
Average branching factor: 0.9191616766467066
===== END AGENT COMPUTATION SUMMARY ====
Move number: 3
O X X
O - -
- - -
Enter move> 6
==== AGENT COMPUTATION SUMMARY ====
Making move 4 with value 1
Max depth explored: 7
Nodes explored: 44
Total branches: 44
Average branching factor: 1.0
===== END AGENT COMPUTATION SUMMARY ====
Move number: 4
O X X
O O -
X - -
Enter move> 5
==== AGENT COMPUTATION SUMMARY ====
Making move 8 with value 1
Max depth explored: 7
Nodes explored: 3
Total branches: 3
Average branching factor: 1.0
===== END AGENT COMPUTATION SUMMARY ====
Oops, better luck next time!
O X X
O O X
X - O

Further improvements

There are so many improvements you can try out. TicTacToe with minimax is like the baseline launchpad to explore adversarial games.

Alpha-beta pruning is an obvious optimization although its advantage cannot be felt with such a small game tree (relative to laptop performance).

You can try to look at stochastic games and implement expectiminimax. Or try one of the many Tic Tac Toe variants .

If you’re feeling ambitious, you can model a completely different game like Poker or Backgammon and implement your own agent.

References

COL333 course Prof Mausam IIT Delhi
AIMA Russell et. al. 4th edition Chapter 6 (Adversarial Search)

Footnotes:

Which is a good thing! To actively resist spending time on useless learning is an optimal strategy to acquire most useful knowledge.

Some Of My Favourite Verses From The Quran

gs454236@gmail.com (Basil Labib) — Sat, 02 Aug 2025 08:40:22 +0000

Disclaimer: Sorry, the title is a bit misleading. The verses in this post only cover the 29th and 30th chapter of the Quran. Compiling verses from the full Quran is a task too big to take with my current commitments but something I will eventually get to, hopefully.²

This post is intended to record some of the verses from the 29th and 30th chapter of the Quran that I find very powerful and moving. I have tried to record my first reaction to reading it, which has most often been awe and reverence, so I can come back to it later (I may add to this list but no promises). A lot of my Muslim readers have read these verses multiple times but it hits really different once one understands what it means.

Personally, I was raised in an environment where Islamic education was present but not imposed strictly which meant I didn’t find prayer, reading the Quran, and the remembrance of God as essential to my day-to-day activities but something as an afterthought. Also, in the Indian subcontinent, Muslims are taught to read the Quran (since Arabic is not a native language for South Asians) but not to understand it which is an absurdity for which I haven’t found any reason so far. This meant that I could pronounce the words but I could not understand them. The last six months have been a departure from this tragedy and I am grateful to God for it. For the curious and those who hunger for knowledge, I invite you to read and understand the Quran with sincerity.¹

The Rivalry In Worldly Increase

102:1 أَلْهَىٰكُمُ ٱلتَّكَاثُرُ ١

The mutual rivalry (for piling up of worldly things) diverts you,

102:2 حَتَّىٰ زُرْتُمُ ٱلْمَقَابِرَ ٢

Until you visit the graves (i.e. till you die).

https://quran.com/102/1-2

I remember the first time I read these two verses I didn’t move for a couple minutes - not only because of how eloquent it is but also how starkly relevant it was to me. The legacy of my college weighed down on me and somehow I found the walls closing in on me if I do not stand up to their expectations - what will society call me then? An IITian failure? The mutual contest to get the best for myself was the worst thing for me - I was burnt out, desperate, and lost. Over time, I realised it isn’t about me, it’s about us.

The Ascending Stairways

70:19 ۞ إِنَّ ٱلْإِنسَـٰنَ خُلِقَ هَلُوعًا ١٩

Verily, man (disbeliever) was created very impatient;

70:20 إِذَا مَسَّهُ ٱلشَّرُّ جَزُوعًۭا ٢٠

Irritable (discontented) when evil touches him;

70:21 وَإِذَا مَسَّهُ ٱلْخَيْرُ مَنُوعًا ٢١

And niggardly when good touches him.

70:22 إِلَّا ٱلْمُصَلِّينَ ٢٢

Except those who are devoted to Salât (prayers).

70:23 ٱلَّذِينَ هُمْ عَلَىٰ صَلَاتِهِمْ دَآئِمُونَ ٢٣

Those who remain constant in their Salât (prayers);

70:24 وَٱلَّذِينَ فِىٓ أَمْوَٰلِهِمْ حَقٌّۭ مَّعْلُومٌۭ ٢٤

And those in whose wealth there is a recognised right

70:25 لِّلسَّآئِلِ وَٱلْمَحْرُومِ ٢٥

For the beggar who asks, and for the unlucky who has lost his property and wealth, (and his means of living has been straitened).

https://quran.com/al-maarij

I cannot overlook the striking resemblance of the first three verses of this section to my prior way of living. It sent me on a deep introspection of my ways of living and helped me answer the question of what to live for.

My interpretation of “human was created impatient” can be seen freely today in the action of human beings - thousands have taken to short-term gratification and following vanity and falsehood that are beyond their reach (Yes, I’m talking about watching half-naked girls dancing on Instagram reels). I have suffered deeply when I was lost in that hellhole, feeling horrible about myself with each passing day, desiring things that are sensibly beyond my reach and for which I have no use. I am talking about the loss of mutual trust which has distanced man from man and the basic courtesy of honesty and truthfulness. I am talking about the need for therapy and medicines we spend to feel happier when all we need is the increasingly rare but honest smile.

I absolutely love how the phrase “in whose wealth there is a recognised right for the less fortunate” embodies the notion of social welfare within the frameworks of the religious duties. It has helped me to not only know how to manage what I have but motivates me everyday to strive for more to give to those less fortunate than me.³

The Clot

96:1 ٱقْرَأْ بِٱسْمِ رَبِّكَ ٱلَّذِى خَلَقَ ١

Read! In the Name of your Lord Who has created (all that exists).

96:2 خَلَقَ ٱلْإِنسَـٰنَ مِنْ عَلَقٍ ٢

He has created man from a clot (a piece of thick coagulated blood).

96:3 ٱقْرَأْ وَرَبُّكَ ٱلْأَكْرَمُ ٣

Read! And your Lord is the Most Generous.

96:4 ٱلَّذِى عَلَّمَ بِٱلْقَلَمِ ٤

Who has taught (the writing) by the pen.

96:5 عَلَّمَ ٱلْإِنسَـٰنَ مَا لَمْ يَعْلَمْ ٥

He has taught man that which he knew not.

96:6 كَلَّآ إِنَّ ٱلْإِنسَـٰنَ لَيَطْغَىٰٓ ٦

Nay! Verily, man does transgress (in disbelief and evil deed).

96:7 أَن رَّءَاهُ ٱسْتَغْنَىٰٓ ٧

Because he considers himself self-sufficient.

96:8 إِنَّ إِلَىٰ رَبِّكَ ٱلرُّجْعَىٰٓ ٨

Surely, unto your Lord is the return.

https://quran.com/96

The importance of acquiring new knowledge can be estimated by realising Iqra (meaning: To Read) was the first word revealed to the Prophet PBUH by God. I haven’t found a more telling account of my own actions than the verses 6-8. I was proud and arrogant of what I had (which was, in retrospect, nothing) and used to speak hateful words to others. I don’t think I am a perfect human being yet and I still make mistakes but at least I’m trying. It’s astounding, once you put your mind to it, to realise how easy it is to hurt someone unknowingly.

Parting Thoughts

Well, I only wish I could do a more extensive version of this post for I have so many beautiful verses noted in my notebook. It pains my heart to see Muslims today not even trying to understand the Quran, following vain pursuits and desires (myself included), and finding themselves truly lost. I wish they would understand. I’ll close this post with the following verse which is a powerful rhetoric found in one of most visually bone-chilling chapters of the Quran,

The Overthrowing (81:26)

فَأَيْنَ تَذْهَبُونَ ٢٦

Then where are you going?

Trivia

[Feel free to skip if you do not want the context for this post]

A little bit of life update - I have joined the Masters programme at the Department of CSE at IIT Delhi and expect to graduate next year. This means that most of my friends have already graduated and I am mostly left alone to my thoughts with lots of free time. I suffered from depression and anxiety (and still do sometimes) and last year was really bad. But then I revisited the Qur’an and tried to understand it. Studying the Qur’an has been one of the most rewarding experiences for me in the last six months.

Footnotes

1: Note that I haven’t said anything about being a Muslim or a non-Muslim here - the only condition is curiosity and sincerity. This is because I haven’t found a single Muslim (yet) who really understands what’s writtein in the Quran. And as for non-Muslims, I do not believe reading the Quran is any different from reading any other book as long as you are respectful.

2: God willing.

3: You may also read the seven verses of Surah 107 (Small Kindnesses) for a description of those who show off and rebuke the poor.

Commentary on Iqbal's Shikwa and Jawab-e-Shikwa: Part 2

gs454236@gmail.com (Basil Labib) — Fri, 13 Jun 2025 17:45:17 +0000

This blogpost continues the discussion of Allama Iqbal’s poems Shikwa Jawab-e-Shikwa. Please read Part 1 before reading the following.

Note: There are three versions of the poem - 1) The original in Urdu/Persian script 2) The Urdu prose transliterated in English (Just click the “Transliteration” dropdown) 3) The English translation. The verses from the Quran are taken from here . The poem verses are from here and here .

Literary devices

In this section, I will present some of the visually rich couplets that combine literary finesse with the history of Islam. The spread of Islam was an affair rooted in a number of battles and militaristic expansions. Allama Iqbal employs metaphors, Islamic allusions, locations (Mount Sinai, Mount Faran, Nejd Desert), references (for example, the story of Laila and Majnu), and Islamic and pre-Islamic history to imbue his poems with a rich cultural context.

Imageries

The following three couplets highlight this phase of Islam. They are quoted from Shikwa and are written from the perspective of the Muslim who is (wrongfully) taking credit for what his forefathers have done.

The translations in this section are from this blogpost .

Shikwa, Stanza 6:

Transliteration

Shan Ankhon Mein Na Jachti Thi Jahan Daron Ki
Kalima Parhte The Hum Chaon Mein Talwaron Ki

The pageantries of mighty kings to us were shows that mattered not,
Beneath the shade of blades unsheathed in Kalima we glory sought

The Kalima is one of the core beliefs of Islam namely that There is no god but God and Muhammad is His Prophet. I like the selflessness reflected in these lines and the utter and complete devotion of the believer to Allah’s Cause.

Shikwa, Stanza 8:

Transliteration

Naqsh Tauheed Ka Har Dil Pe Bithaya Hum Ne Zer-e-Khanjar Bhi Yeh Paigham Sunaya Hum Ne

On all men’s minds we set Your seal, Your tawhid’s firm and sure impress—
The selfsame message preached our lips when swords danced high in battle’s stress.

A compelling imagery is used in these lines - the phrase “Zer-e-Khanjar,” meaning anything below the dagger, which translates to the fact that even in a life-threatening situation, the believers continued spreading Allah’s message.

Shikwa, Stanza 12:

Transliteration

Dasht To Dasht Hain, Darya Bhi Na Chhore Hum Ne
Bahr-e-Zulmaat Mein Daura Diye Ghore Hum Ne

Not only land we bore Your Word glorious across the heaving seas,
Upon our steed of zeal, we rode unto their darkest boundaries!

There’s a bit of history in these verses - the phrase “Bahr-e-Zulmaat” refers to the Atlantic Ocean. When Arab conquerors came to the westernmost point of northern Africa, they considered it the end of the world and exclaimed that if there had been more land, they would have conquered it in the Name of Allah.

Metaphors

Transliteration

Hum Tau Jeete Hain Ke Duniya Mein Tira Naam Rahe,
Kahin Mumkin Hai Saqi Na Rahe, Jaam Rahe?

We live here only that Your Name may live here in men’s minds enshrined;
Can saki bid his last adieu and leave Love’s cup and wine behind?

Allama Iqbal employed a number of metaphors to elucidate the relationship between God and his believer. The “Saqi” (the person who offers wine) and “Jaam” (the cup) are two such metaphors - the believer cannot exist without the Lord who offers the wine with which the believers fills himself. There are multiple such metaphors such as the Shama (the Lamp) and Parvaana (the Moth), the Gul (flower) and Gulshan (the Garden of Flowers).

Shikwa, Stanza 27

Transliteration

Mushkalain Ummat-e-Marhoom Ki Asan Kar De
Moor-e-Bemaya Ko Humdosh-e-Suleman Kar De

A people You had blessed, lighten the burdens they bear,
Raise the poor downtrodden ant and make it Solomon’s peer.

This is an allusion to the famous story of Prophet Suleiman PBUH and the ant who was afraid that the mighty army of Suleiman would crush his nest, but Suleiman was able to hear the ant and asked his army to step aside and not step on the ant’s nest. These verses are a prayer to Allah SWT asking to be raised like the poor ant and be made like Suleiman’s peer, who was, of course, a mighty king.

Jawab-e-Shikwa, Stanza 16

Transliteration

Reh Gyi Rasm-e-Azan, Rooh-e-Bilali Na Rahi
Falsafa Reh Gya, Talqeen-e-Ghazali Na Rahi

Only a ritual, the call to prayer, the spirit of Bilal has fled.
There’s no end to philosophizing; Ghazali’s discourse remains unread.

Imam Ghazali was a Iranian Islamic theologian and philosopher born in the 11th century. His often quoted work is Incoherence of the Philosophers (Tahâfut al-falâsifa).

Interpretations and Intent

This section will discuss few verses in light of the Holy Quran and include some of my take on whether the poems are blasphemous.

It is amply evident that both poems should be read and understood together, lest one might make the grave mistake of misunderstanding the context in which the verses are to be interpreted. Shikwa expresses the devout Muslim’s deep anguish as he watches his Ummah lose both the manifest in this world and the sublime in the Hereafter. Jawab-e-Shikwa addresses the innermost malice of man and the misconception that he is the effector and the “self-sufficient,” and the misfortunes are not his own doing.

The Clot (96:6-8)

96:6 كَلَّآ إِنَّ ٱلْإِنسَـٰنَ لَيَطْغَىٰٓ ٦

Most certainly, one exceeds all bounds

96:7 أَن رَّءَاهُ ٱسْتَغْنَىٰٓ ٧

once they think they are self-sufficient.

96:8 إِنَّ إِلَىٰ رَبِّكَ ٱلرُّجْعَىٰٓ ٨

˹But˺ surely to your Lord is the return ˹of all˺.
— Dr. Mustafa Khattab, The Clear Quran

https://quran.com/96/6-8

Are the poems blasphemous?

We must first understand the context and the state of the Muslim society when Allama Iqbal wrote the poems back in 1911. The Muslim community was illiterate, complacent, backward, and vastly removed from the first word of God, “Iqra” (meaning to Read). Building on his philosophy of Khudi (meaning self-realisation), Iqbal realised that he must reinvigorate the Muslim community to get out of its slumber and embrace the rapid developments of modern society, learn of the modern ways, and preserve the religion of God.

Is the Muslim community on the Right Path even today? No. The Muslim community today is among the worst in history, forgetting the teachings of the Beloved day by day, turning greedy and sinful, giving in to our lusts and desires more easily. We lack humility, kindness, empathy, and real education. How can a society so deeply entrenched in sins deserve to point a finger at a poem and call it blasphemous? Isn’t then the entire existence of the Muslim Ummah blasphemous - the way we dress, the way we talk, the way we behave with our parents, family, and friends?

Allama Iqbal understood that. He also knew that to wake up and reinvigorate an entire nation, he had to use what is most dear to the Ummah, and that is the rigid Muslim theological aspect of the Divine. He knew that he was undertaking a gargantuan task - even I am not fully convinced of the premise of Jawab-e-Shikwa, which claims to be God’s Answer. If we think about it, God doesn’t just talk to any man, and Prophet Muhammad PBUH is the Seal of all Prophets¹, so it is borderline blasphemous to tread a very, very sensitive line. But I think that’s what art is about, I guess. It needs to be engaging and draw attention, albeit at the cost of the artist.

The State of Mind of the Complaintant

Transliteration

Kyun Musalmanon Mein Hai Doulat-e-Dunya Nayaab
Teri Qudrat To Hai Woh Jis Ki Na Had Hai Na Hisab

Why from the bounties of this life The Faithful now no profit gain
Though still Almighty You remainest and limitless Your means remain?

Allama Iqbal is vocalising the common man’s plight. And from the common man’s perspective, the tone and words used make sense because the common man is not versed in the Qur’an and doesn’t have the mental capacity to think deeply and understand why he finds himself in such a state. That’s why he is reminded of his place and of his ancestors and reminded that the miracle of the Mount of Sinai is intact and eternal, while there is no man as pious and devout as Prophet Musa (pbuh) who can witness it again.

The Cow (2:141)

تِلْكَ أُمَّةٌۭ قَدْ خَلَتْ ۖ لَهَا مَا كَسَبَتْ وَلَكُم مَّا كَسَبْتُمْ ۖ وَلَا تُسْـَٔلُونَ عَمَّا كَانُوا۟ يَعْمَلُونَ ١٤١

That was a community that had already gone before. For them is what they earned and for you is what you have earned. And you will not be accountable for what they have done.
— Dr. Mustafa Khattab, The Clear Quran https://quran.com/2/141

Allah SWT is reminding them that whatever victories and actions man has effected in the Name of God are only by His Permission and Help. Indeed, in Surah Fateh, Allah SWT says,

The Divine Support (110:1-2)

110:1 إِذَا جَآءَ نَصْرُ ٱللَّهِ وَٱلْفَتْحُ ١

When Allah’s ˹ultimate˺ help comes and the victory ˹over Mecca is achieved˺,

110:2 وَرَأَيْتَ ٱلنَّاسَ يَدْخُلُونَ فِى دِينِ ٱللَّهِ أَفْوَاجًۭا ٢

and you ˹O Prophet˺ see the people embracing Allah’s Way in crowds,
— Dr. Mustafa Khattab, The Clear Quran

https://quran.com/110/1-2

I think questioning whether a poet is blasphemous is silly because the needs of the Muslim Ummah of today are far greater and more serious. Once the intent of the poem is clearly established in our hearts, we should focus on our actions rather than the words. How do we protect our youth from the influx of sinful ideas and ways of life? It is very hard to be a Muslim but very easy to criticise one. We should think of the poem as a way for the poet to draw our attention to matters that extend beyond the confines of the text. In fact, asking useless questions is prohibited .

Conflicts with the Holy Quran

While all the above are true, there are some verses that come into conflict with verses of the Holy and Noble Quran.

Some lines from the poems, especially those at the beginning of the poem Shikwa, are grumbling, condescending in tone, and soaked with entitlement. There’s entitlement in the way the naive Muslim claims that he is the one who affected Allah’s religion.

Verses of the Quran that are in direct conflict with the poem

The Prophets (21:23)

لَا يُسْـَٔلُ عَمَّا يَفْعَلُ وَهُمْ يُسْـَٔلُونَ ٢٣

He cannot be questioned about what He does, but they will ˹all˺ be questioned.
— Dr. Mustafa Khattab, The Clear Quran

https://quran.com/21/23

Then, there are a few verses that might imply that the Mercy of Allah has been withdrawn from the Muslims.

Explained in Detail (41:46)

مَّنْ عَمِلَ صَـٰلِحًۭا فَلِنَفْسِهِۦ ۖ وَمَنْ أَسَآءَ فَعَلَيْهَا ۗ وَمَا رَبُّكَ بِظَلَّـٰمٍۢ لِّلْعَبِيدِ ٤٦

Whoever does good, it is to their own benefit. And whoever does evil, it is to their own loss. Your Lord is never unjust to ˹His˺ creation.
— Dr. Mustafa Khattab, The Clear Quran

https://quran.com/41/46

The Heights (7:156)

۞ ۚ قَالَ عَذَابِىٓ أُصِيبُ بِهِۦ مَنْ أَشَآءُ ۖ وَرَحْمَتِى وَسِعَتْ كُلَّ شَىْءٍۢ ۚ فَسَأَكْتُبُهَا لِلَّذِينَ يَتَّقُونَ وَيُؤْتُونَ ٱلزَّكَوٰةَ وَٱلَّذِينَ هُم بِـَٔايَـٰتِنَا يُؤْمِنُونَ ١٥٦

…Allah replied, “I will inflict My torment on whoever I will. But My mercy encompasses everything. I will ordain mercy for those who shun evil, pay alms-tax, and believe in Our revelations.
— Dr. Mustafa Khattab, The Clear Quran

https://quran.com/7/156

Moreover, there are verses which might imply that the religion of Allah could only have been established with the aid of the Muslims, as if Allah SWT is dependent on mortals for His Great Work. But for Allah, He only says, “Be” and it is.

Originator (35:15)

۞ يَـٰٓأَيُّهَا ٱلنَّاسُ أَنتُمُ ٱلْفُقَرَآءُ إِلَى ٱللَّهِ ۖ وَٱللَّهُ هُوَ ٱلْغَنِىُّ ٱلْحَمِيدُ ١٥

O humanity! It is you who stand in need of Allah, but Allah ˹alone˺ is the Self-Sufficient, Praiseworthy.
— Dr. Mustafa Khattab, The Clear Quran

https://quran.com/35/15

Apart from the above, these are instances where the Muslim in total helplessness claims that it is only they who are suffering while the disbelievers enjoy.

Shikwa, stanza 14:

Transliteration

Rehmatain Hain Teri Aghiyar Ke Kashaanon Par
Barq Girti Hai To Bechare Musalmanon Par

Yet see how still Your bounties rain on roofs of unbelieving clans,
While strikes Your thunder‐bolt the homes of all‐forbearing Mussalmans!

In this regard, there are two verses from the Holy Quran:

Ta-Ha (20:131)

وَلَا تَمُدَّنَّ عَيْنَيْكَ إِلَىٰ مَا مَتَّعْنَا بِهِۦٓ أَزْوَٰجًۭا مِّنْهُمْ زَهْرَةَ ٱلْحَيَوٰةِ ٱلدُّنْيَا لِنَفْتِنَهُمْ فِيهِ ۚ وَرِزْقُ رَبِّكَ خَيْرٌۭ وَأَبْقَىٰ ١٣١

Do not let your eyes crave what We have allowed some of the disbelievers to enjoy; the ˹fleeting˺ splendour of this worldly life, which We test them with. But your Lord’s provision ˹in the Hereafter˺ is far better and more lasting.
— Dr. Mustafa Khattab, The Clear Quran

https://quran.com/20/131

The Cow (2:155)

وَلَنَبْلُوَنَّكُم بِشَىْءٍۢ مِّنَ ٱلْخَوْفِ وَٱلْجُوعِ وَنَقْصٍۢ مِّنَ ٱلْأَمْوَٰلِ وَٱلْأَنفُسِ وَٱلثَّمَرَٰتِ ۗ وَبَشِّرِ ٱلصَّـٰبِرِينَ ١٥٥

We will certainly test you with a touch of fear and famine and loss of property, life, and crops. Give good news to those who patiently endure—
— Dr. Mustafa Khattab, The Clear Quran

https://quran.com/2/155

These are a few instances where the poems come in direct conflict with the teaching of the Holy Quran, and one must exercise extreme caution in narrating these while keeping the intent in mind. The Word of God is immutable, and we must think deeply about how we can follow what we believe. It is in this light and only this light that the poems should be interpreted.

Conclusion

This is part 2 of my discussion of Iqbal’s Shikwa Jawab-e-Shikwa. The masterful writing and literary genius of the poems is beyond question, the verses are sharp and delicate. These potent verses are an invitation for the modern inquisitive reader to ponder on the meaning and the message of Islam.

For part 1, see here .

Shikwa (The Complaint)

Jawab-e-Shikwa (The Answer To The Complaint)

Footnotes

The Combined Forces (33:40)

مَّا كَانَ مُحَمَّدٌ أَبَآ أَحَدٍۢ مِّن رِّجَالِكُمْ وَلَـٰكِن رَّسُولَ ٱللَّهِ وَخَاتَمَ ٱلنَّبِيِّـۧنَ ۗ وَكَانَ ٱللَّهُ بِكُلِّ شَىْءٍ عَلِيمًۭا ٤٠

Muḥammad is not the father of any of your men,(3) but is the Messenger of Allah and the seal of the prophets. And Allah has ˹perfect˺ knowledge of all things.
— Dr. Mustafa Khattab, The Clear Quran

(3) He (ﷺ) is not the father of Zaid (mentioned in 33:37) or any other man. The Prophet (ﷺ) had three biological sons, who all died in childhood.

https://quran.com/33/40

Commentary on Iqbal's Shikwa and Jawab-e-Shikwa: Part 1

gs454236@gmail.com (Basil Labib) — Fri, 13 Jun 2025 05:05:50 +0000

Disclaimer: You will notice that I have used “Allah SWT says” or similar sentence construction in the following text. This must NOT be interpreted as the Word of God which is final and contained in the Holy Quran. This is a literary license I have exercised to present the two poems which would not have the same effect if I changed their intended person/point of view. Both poems are the work of a human being and should be interpreted as such.

The translations are from Khushwant Singh’s version. All errors are my own. Please provide constructive criticism by writing to me at here .

Introduction

Shikwa (Complaint) and Jawab-e-Shikwa (Answer to the Complaint) are a pair of poems written by Allama Mohammad Iqbal , one of the most excellent and fierce poets, philosophers, and religious thinkers of the 20th century. Born Muhammad Iqbal in Sialkot, British India, such far-reaching is the intellectual and literary contribution of this visionary writer, that he was honoured with the honorific “Allama”, meaning the “Learned”. Moreover, he is referred to as the Shair-e-Mashriq (The Poet of the East) by the Western world as well as the national poet of Pakistan. While Muhammad Ali Jinnah furthers the cause of Pakistan on the political front, Allama Iqbal provided the much-needed religio-political philosophy and the moral impetus which culminated in the creation of Pakistan.

A bit of history

Shikwa was recited by Allama Iqbal at Anjuman-i-Himayat-i-Islam (Association for the Advocacy of Islam) at Islamia College, Lahore in April 1909 ¹. Written from the perspective of a troubled modern Muslim, the poem is a direct complaint to God about the state of the Muslim Ummah (community) in the South Asian subcontinent. The strong language and almost blasphemous content created a stir among the Muslim community. While nobody could question the masterful craft and fine literary contribution of the poem, the orthodox clerics hastened to call Iqbal an infidel due to the content of the poem, while others called him a madman (See here from 12:30).

Iqbal recited Jawab-e-Shikwa (Answer to the Complaint) in 1913 at a political rally at Mochi Gate, Lahore, British India. The poem is spoken from the perspective of God and addresses the Muslim who had complained to Him earlier. Once again, the literary quality of the verse is beyond question, and the content of the poem puts to rest each complaint voiced by the Muslim. When it was published, Jawab-e-Shikwa calmed a lot of the critics of Iqbal.

A bit of analysis

Always referred to together, Shikwa Jawab-e-Shikwa is a powerhouse of modern Islamic thought and even almost 115 years after its publication, reinvigorates the docile and lethargic minds of the inquisitive Muslim who reads it. Shikwa contains 31 stanzas, each containing 6 lines. Jawab-e-Shikwa contains 36 stanzas, each containing 6 lines. The rhyming scheme is AAAABB, and while most of the poems are written in Urdu, some verses are in Persian. Both these poems are published in Iqbal’s anthology Baang-e-Daara (translated as The Call of the Marching Bell). (Source )

Allama Iqbal’s poetry is richly imbued with Islamic elements and has a strong connection to the Islamic beliefs and traditions, for example, the poem about the call to self-realisation, “Khudi ka sirr-e-nihan” (The secret of the self is hidden), and much more. Similarly, both these poems are rich in allusions to prominent Islamic traditions and culture, offering us a gateway to recount the prominent figures and events that led to the rise and proliferation of Islam.

There are many English translations available ; this post uses Khuswant Singh’s 1981 translation available here ².

The Stages of the Complaint

As Shikwa is written from the perspective of a distressed Muslim who is not a stranger to the gradual degradation of his culture and religion, Iqbal takes care to put the grief and hopelessness of the individual front and center. Shikwa starts off with the Muslim exclaiming that his woes know no limits: “Saaz-e-Khamosh Hain, Faryaad se Mamoor hai Hum” (The lute is silent and we are filled to the brim with our cries for help), hearkens back to the sacrifices and victories of the early Muslims and the glories they brought to the religion of Allah, and finally laments the current state of the same Ummah which has lost its zeal and passion for the love of Allah SWT. The gradual change of tone, in the manner and structure of sentences, the intent, and even the words, from one of utter desperation to resignation and finally to a plea, reflects the way mortals generally complain.

Let us examine the stages of complaint of the mortal and wrongful man in more detail.

Stage 1: Desperation

Shikwa, Stanza 2:

Transliteration

Hai Baja Shewa-e-Tasleem Mein Mashoor Hain Hum
Qissa-e-Dard Sunate Hain Ke Majboor Hain Hum

Saaz-e-Khamosh Hain, Faryad Se Maamoor Hain Hum
Nala Ata Hai Agar Lab Pe To Maazoor Hain Hum

Ae Khuda Shikwa-e-Arbab-e-Wafa Bhi Sun Le
Khugar-e-Hamd Se Thora Sa Gila Bhi Sun Le

We won renown for submitting to Your will – and it is so;
We speak out now, we are compelled to repeat our tale of woe.
We are like the silent lute whose chords are full of voice;
When grief wells up to our lips, we speak; we have no choice.
Lord God! We are Your faithful servants, for a while with us bear,
It is in our nature to always praise you, a small plaint also hear.

It is evident that the vocabulary is of a higher grade, and the verse is impeccable in mastery and eloquence. The repeated m-sounds of the four words start with meem- م - add a literary flair to this stanza, making it engaging to the reader. The subject matter is delicate as the Muslim is directly addressing God and says that let his pleas and complaints be also listened to, just like his regular prayers. This may be interpreted as indirectly implying that God hasn’t been listening to our complaints and pleas, which is not true, of course.

Stage 2: Arrogance

Transliteration

Tu Hi Keh De Ke Ukhara Dar-e-Khyber Kis Ne
Sheher Qaiser Ka Jo Tha, Us Ko Kiya Sar Kis Ne

Tore Makhluq Khudawandon Ke Paikar Kis Ne
Kaat Kar Rakh Diye Kuffaar Ke Lashkar Kis Ne

Kis Ne Thanda Kiya Atishkuda-e-Iran Ko?
Kis Ne Phir Zinda Kiya Tazkara-e-Yazdaan Ko?

You tell us who were they who pulled down the gates of Khyber?
Who were they that reduced the city that was the pride of Caesar?
Fake gods that men had made, who did break and shatter?
Who routed infidel armies and destroyed them with bloddy slaughter?
Who put out and made cold the ‘sacred’ flame in Iran?
Who retold the story of the one God, Yazdan?

This is an allusion-rich stanza that elucidates the state of the society before the advent of Islam in a terse, rhetorical manner. References to Khyber, the Jewish stronghold in the Arabian peninsula, the Roman seats of power in the Levant, and the fire god of the Sassanians of the Persian Empire are made to impress upon the reader that all these empires were destroyed to spread the message of Allah SWT and His religion.

Stage 3: Distress and Loss

Finally, man expresses what his mortal, short-sighted mind sees in the world and finds unusual:

Stanza 17:

Transliteration

Qehar To Ye Hai Ke Kafir Ko Milain Hoor-o-Qasoor
Aur Bechare Musalman Ko Faqat Wada-e-Hoor

The travesty of our times is such that the disbelievers get maidens and palaces
While the poor Muslim gets only the promise of the maiden.
(My translation)

Transliteration

Kyun Musalmanon Mein Hai Doulat-e-Dunya Nayaab
Teri Qudrat To Hai Woh Jis Ki Na Had Hai Na Hisab

Tu Jo Chahe To Uthe Seena-e-Sehra Se Habab
Rahroo-e-Dasht Ho Seeli Zada Mouj-e-Saraab

Taan-e-Aghiyaar Hai, Ruswai Hai, Nadaari Hai,
Kya Tere Nam Pe Marne Ka Iwaz Khwari Hai?

Why amongst Muslims is worldy wealth rarely found?
Great is Your power beyond measure, without bound,
If it were Your will, water would bubble forth from the bosom of arid land,
And the traveller lashed by waves of mirages in the sand.
Out lot is strangers’ taunts, ill-repute and penury;
Must disgrace be our lot who gave their lives for You?

Stage 4: Contemplation

Stanza 21

Transliteration

Tujh Ko Chora Ke Rasool-e-Arabi (S.A.W.) Ko Chora?
Boutgari Paisha Kiya, Bout Shikani Ko Chora?

Ishq Ko, Ishq Ki Ashuftah-Sari Ko Chora?
Rasm-e-Salman (R.A.)-o-Awais-e-Qarani (R.A.) Ko Chora?

Aag Takbeer Ki Seenon Mein Dabi Rakhte Hain
Zindagi Misl-e-Bilal-e-Habshi (R.A.) Rakhte Hain

Did we abandon You or Your Arab messanger forsake?
Did we trade in making idols? Did we not idols break?
Did we forsake love because of the anguish with which it’s fought?
Give up the traditions of Salman, forget what Owais Qarani taught?
The flame of Allah’s greatness still in our hearts we nourish.
The life of Bilal the Ethiop remains the model that we cherish.

This is another reference-rich stanza where the poor Muslim laments that they have forsaken the ways taught by the Prophet and the traditions followed by the Sahaba (Companions of the Prophet) and the pious (Owais of Qaran never met the Prophet, but he was very pious and righteous). Bilal, an Abyssinian slave who embraced Islam, and Salman (May God be pleased with him) were two of the most pious early Muslims.

Stage 5: Resignation and Plea

Transliteration

Badahkash Gair Hain Gulshan Mein Lab-e-Joo Baithe
Sunte Hain Jaam Bakaf Naghma-e-Kuku Baithe

Door Hungama-e-Gulzar Se Yak Soo Baithe
Tere Diwane Bhi Hain Muntazir ‘Hoo’ Baithe

Apne Parwanon Ko Phir Zauq-e-Khud Afrozi De
Barq-e-Dairina Ko Farman-e-Jigar Sozi De

Strangers revel in the garden, beside a stream they are sitting;
Wine goblets in their hands, hearing the cuckoo singing.
Far from the garden, far away from its notes of revelry,
Your lovers sit by themselves awaiting the moment to praise You.
Rekindly in Your moths passion to burn themselves on the flame;
Bid the old lightning strike, brand our breasts with Your name.

The Answers to the Complaint

An Answer to the Arrogance

Shikwa, stanza 13:

Transliteration

Safah-e-Dahar Se Baatil Ko Mitaya Hum Ne
Nau-e-Insaan Ko Ghulami Se Chhuraya Hum Ne

Tere Kaabe Ko Jabeenon Se Basaya Hum Ne
Tere Quran Ko Seenon Se Lagaya Hum Ne

Phir Bhi Hum Se Yeh Gila Hai Ke Wafadar Nahin
Hum Wafadar Nahin, Tu Bhi To Dildar Nahin!

We blotted out the smear of falsehood from the pages of history.
We freed mankind from the chains of slavery.
The floors of Your Kaaba with our foreheads we swept.
The Quran you sent us we clasped to our breast.
Even so you accuse us of lack of faith on our part;
If we lacked faith, you did little to win our heart.

The tone is highly accusatory and culminates in a direct accusation against Allah SWT. While there is no need to try to justify the above verses but it only enforces the idea that a grieved mortal human being is quick to accuse others and hasty in taking credit. In Jawab e Shikwa, there is a verse by verse rebuttal to this stanza.

The answer:

Transliteration

Safah-e-Dahar se Baatil Ko Mitaya Kis Ne?
Nau-e-Insaan Ko Ghulami Se Chhuraya Kis Ne?

Mere Kaabe Ko Jabeeno se Basaya Kis Ne
Mere Quran Ko Seeno Se Lagaya Kis Ne

The Toh Aba Vo Tumhare Hi Magar Tum Kya Ho?
Haath Par Haath Dhare Muntazir-e-Farda Ho!

Who blotted out the smear of falsehood from the pages of history?
Who freed mankind from the chains of slavery?
The floors of My Kaaba with whose foreheads swept?
Who were they who clasped My Quran to their breasts?
Your forefathers indeed they were; tell us who are you, we pray?
With idle hands you sit awaiting the dawn of a better day.

The eloquence, word choice, and rhetorical style of this stanza make it one of my favourite ones - one I revisit often and ponder much about. Allah SWT reminds man not to be too boastful of the deeds that his hands didn’t perform. He points out that the man of today is “muntazir-e-farda” (waiting for the future) while he is idle and is doing nothing about it. All he does is enumerate the achievements of his forefathers and yet there is minimal semblance between him and his forefathers, both in terms of his efforts and struggles in this world and for the Hereafter. God asks man directly, “The toh aaba vo tumhare hi magar tum kya ho?” (Yes, they were your forefathers, but what are you?)

Where is the Unity Among Muslims Today?

The Muslim is boasting about the manner of prayer when the king and the slave are all equal in the eyes of God. Allah SWT points out that yes, the manners of prayer are intact, but the spirit of the faithful is gone (“Rasm-e-adhaan reh gayi, ruh-e-Bilal na rahi”). Allah SWT is condemning the Muslims who have invented reasons to break themselves into factions, diluting the original message of Islam, and found ways to sow seeds of enmity amongst equal humans.

Shikwa, stanza 11:

Transliteration

Aa Gaya Ain Laraai Mein Agar Waqt-e-Namaz
Qibla Ru Ho Ke Zameen Bos Huwi Qoum-e-Hijaz

Ek Hi Saf Mein Khare Ho Gaye Mahmood-o-Ayaz,
No Koi Banda Raha Aur Na Koi Banda Nawaz.

Banda-o-Sahib-o-Mauhtaaj-o-Ghani Aik Huwe
Teri Sarkar Mein Pohanche To Sabhi Aik Huwe

In the midst of raging battle if the time came to pray,
Hejazis turned to Mecca, kissed the earth and ceased from fray.
Sultan and slave in single file stood side by side,
Then no servant was nor master, nothing did them divide.
Between serf and lord, needy and rich, difference there was none,
When they appeared in Your court, they came as equals and one.

The answer:

Transliteration

Manfaath Ek Hai Iss Qaum Ki, Nuksaan Bhi Ek
Ek Hi Sab Ka Nabi, Deen Bhi, Imaan Bhi Ek

Haram-e-Pak Bhi, Allah Bhi, Quran Bhi Ek
Kuch Baadi Baat Thi Hote Jo Musalmaan Bhi Ek?

Firqa Bandi Hai Kahin Aur Kahin Zaatein Hai
Kya Zamaane Mein Panapne Ki Yahin Baatein Hai?

You are one people, you share in common your weal and woe.
Your have one faith, one creed and to one Prophet allegiance owe.
You have one sacred Kaaba, one God and one holy book, the Quran.
Was it so difficult to unite in one community every single Mussalman?
It is factions at one place; divisions into castes at another.
In these times are these the ways to progress and to prosper?

Growing up in a Muslim household, these verses uncover a glaring anomaly I have faced firsthand: the many, many different things that people have invented in the name of Islam. It makes things so complicated for a young outsider seeking to understand the religion which at its core is simple.

The Muslim way is forgotten

Transliteration

Shoor Hai Ke Duniya Se Musalman Nabood
Hum Ye Kahte Hai Ki The Bhi Kahin Muslim Maujood?

Vazah Mein Tum Ho Nasari, Toh Tamaddun Mein Hindu
Ye Musalman Hai Jinhein Dekh Ke Sharm Aaye Yahud

Yu Toh Saiyyad Bhi Ho, Mirza Bhi Ho, Afghan Bhi Ho
Tum Sabhi Kuch Ho, Batao Toh Mussalman Bhi Ho?

There is loud talk that Muslims have disappeared from the earth’s face.
We ask you; did true Muslims exist anywhere in any place?
Your style of living is Christian, your culture that of the Hindu;
A Jew would be ashamed if he saw Muslims such as you.
You are Saiyyads as well as Mirzas, and you are Afghans –
You are all these, but tell us are you also Mussalmans?

In the Muslim community, Saiyyads are held in the highest esteem because it is said that they have descended from the family of the Prophet. Similarly, there are creeds and groups divided on the basis of affluence, region, and even tongue. Allah SWT accuses man of diluting his heritage and adopting things that are not his but what he has found enticing. Allah SWT simply asks, “Tum sabhi kuch ho, batao ki Musalman bhi ho?” (Yes, you are all these factions that you have created, but are you also a Muslim - the one who believes, fears, and obeys Allah SWT just like those early Muslims?)

Where is the truthful believer?

Shikwa, stanza 26:

Transliteration

Naghme Betaab Hain Taron Se Niklne Ke Liye
Toor Muztar Hai Ussi Aag Mein Jalne Ke Liye

Impatient and eager are the notes to burst forth from the strings
The mountain of Moses trembles eagerly to be ignited by Your lightning.

The response:

Transliteration

Kya Kahan? Bahar-e-Mussalman Hai Faqat Wadah-e-Hoor
Shikwa Beja Bhi Kare Koi Toh Lazim Hai Sha-ur

Ad’l Hai Fatir-e-Hasti Ka Azal Se Dastoor
Mussalman Aay Huya Kaafir Toh Mile Hoor-o-Kasoor

Tum Mein Hooron Ka Koi Chahne Wala Hi Nahi
Jalwa-e-Toor Toh Maujood Hai Musa Hi Nahi

Did you say to Muslims we promise houris only in Paradise?
One’s speech should be polite even if there be reason to criticize.
From time eternal we the Creator made justice our sovereign rule;
To infidels who behaved as Muslims we gave heaven’s gifts as prize.
There is not one amongst you who does to heaven’s gift aspire;
There is no Moses to see Sinai’s celestial fire.

There is a clear and direct answer to the man who is claiming that his love and devotion to his Lord is latent in his bosom waiting to take flight and he is waiting for the mountain of Sinai to be reignited by His Lightning. Context: Mount Sinai is a mountain in the Sinai peninsula in Egypt where Prophet Musa PBUH is said to have directly talked to Allah SWT from a burning bush in an area called the Al-Buqʿah Al-Mubārakah or “The blessed Place”. (Source 1 , Quran )

Allah SWT points out that the miracle of Sinai is intact and eternal (that is, He is Eternal), but there is no one as devout as Moses to witness such a miracle again. Fantastic writing, one that forces the mind to pause and ponder.

Your downfall is your own doing

Transliteration

Kaun He Tareek-i-Ayein Rasul-e-Mukhtaar?
Maslahat Waqt Ki Hai Kiski Amal Ka Meyaar?

Kiski Aakhon Mein Samaya Hai Shaare Agyaar?
Ho Gyi Kiski Nigaah Tarz Salaf se Bezaar?

Qalb Mein Soz Nahi, Ruh Mein Ahsaas Nahi
Kuch Bhi Paigaam-e-Muhammad Ka Tumhein Paas Nahi

Who abandoned Our Chosen Messenger’s code and its sanctions?
Who made time-serving the measure of your actions?
Whose eyes have been blinded by alien ways and civilisations?
Who have turned their gaze away from their forefather’s traditions?
Your hearts have no passion, your souls are of spirit bereft,
Of Muhammad’s message nothing with you is left.

“Qalb mein soz nahi, ruh mein ehsaas nahi” (Your heart doesn’t have the passion, your soul doesn’t have the spirit). Allah SWT is pointing out that the state the Muslims find themselves in today is a product of their own doing - they have been enchanted and led astray by non-Islamic ways and cultures, their souls lack passion, and they have forgotten the Prophet’s message. Then, what gives them the right to complain?

The Last Stanza of Jawab-e-Shikwa

Transliteration

Akal Hai Teri Sifar, Ishq Hai Samsheer Teri
Mire Darwesh! Khilafat Hai Jahangir Teri

Ma Sila Allah Ke Liye Aag Hai Taqbeer Teri
Tu Mussalman Ho Toh Taqdeer Hai Tadbeer Teri

Ki Muhammad Se Wafah Tune Toh Hum Tere Hai
Ye Jahan Cheez Hai Kya, Loh-o-Qalam Tere Hai!

With reason as your shield, and the sword of love in your hand,
Servant of God! The leadership of the world is at your command.
The cry, “Allah-o-Akbar”, destroys all except God; it is a fire.
If you are true Muslims, your destiny is to grasp what you aspire.
If you break not faith with Muhammad, we shall always be with you;
What is this miserable world? To write the world’s history, pen and table we offer you.

In the last stanza of Jawab-e-Shikwa, Allah SWT is reiterating that all is not lost and if Muslims return back to the ways of the Prophet, have faith in Allah SWT, then the world will surely be at his feet once again (“Ye jahan cheez kya, loh-o-qalam tere hai” - What is this world? The pen of destiny will be yours).

Personal Notes

I was introduced to this great work and, in fact, to the literary world of Allama Iqbal, through a song on Coke Studio - the Shikwa Jawab-e-Shikwa rendition by Fareed Ayaz Abu Muhammad Qawwal and Natasha Baig . Then, I listened to Nusrat Fateh Ali Khan’s rendition , who excels at amplifying the potent message with his magnificent vocal talents. Gradually, my mind, which was so happy drawing on the auditory nectar of this poem, grew curious, and I found myself searching for its meaning. The more meaning I found, the more complete my admiration and respect became for the Allama. This post is a labour of love, and God knows I have hesitated so many times lest I should do injustice to this fine work. Nevertheless, I decided to write about it because:

The original text is in advanced Urdu, and it takes a lot of effort for a newcomer to understand it.
More and more people should revel in and relish, and more importantly, think about the ideas introduced by Iqbal and what they mean for us.

All mistakes in this post are my own; any merit that you derive is solely the work of Allah SWT.

Conclusion

There are two more sections, “Literary Devices” and “Interpretations and Intent” which I will publish in Part 2. I strongly encourage you to read both the poems! And if you cannot read Urdu, here are a few recitations with English translations.

Jawab-e-Shikwa (The Answer To The Complaint)

References

Shikwa
Explanation Jawab-e-Shikwa
Singh, K. (Trans.) (1983). Shikwa and Jawab-i-Shikwa: Iqbal’s Dialogue with Allah. Oxford University Press.

Footnotes

Some sources date it to 1911.
The Urdu prose are taken from this scanned PDF. Unfortunately, the scan quality is not very great, hence the poor Urdu text. Apologies!

A Trip To The Paradise On Earth: Part 2

gs454236@gmail.com (Basil Labib) — Sat, 26 Oct 2024 22:44:01 +0100

This is the second part of my travelogue to Kashmir. You may read the first part here .

Day 5 - A day of many songs and many silences

Route for the intracity tour within Srinagar

I went for my usual walk around 7:30 am. It was still relatively cold, and most of the city was still asleep. It was mutually decided the night before that we would take a break from long trips and explore the city itself. That was the plan.

I put on “Hum Dekhenge” by Iqbal Bano on loop - that incredibly potent protest song by Faiz. It would be a day of rumination and slowing down. I was growing somewhat uneasy owing to the uncertain nature of the trip and how the subsequent days would unfold, but I was consciously pushing myself to embrace this perspective.

I booked a cab on OnCabs, and the matching was almost instantaneous. I think the driver sensed that I was a tourist (due to the 3 stops at major tourist attractions on the cab route) and called me. He tried negotiating the flat 2500 INR rate for an intracity tourist cab, but I refused. I asked him to take us to Shankaracharya Temple and bring us back, and he quoted 600, which was too much. I asked him to take us to Nishat Garden. The whole information asymmetry for tourists was beginning to blow my neck and I hated it.

I paid the driver around 300, and we got off at Nishat Garden. Luckily, we were earlier than the usual tourist crowd and avoided the nuisance. I sat down to sketch a view of the Dal Lake from one of the fountains but was interrupted by a gardener who brought me a flower. I thought that was it, but he kept standing, and then he told me that he wanted baksheesh, which meant he wanted money. I got a bit annoyed. I couldn’t focus on the sketch, so I moved on. The garden or Bagh was a masterclass in Mughal architecture - I loved the striking symmetry and can only imagine this place coming to life in the spring.

I shifted my location to sketch a Chinaar tree but was again interrupted by an uncle who told me that her wife was an IITD alum (I was wearing my university t-shirt). So much for solitude, I thought. I gave up and spent some time just walking around.

There’s a shikaara jetty just outside Nishat Garden, and we found ourselves at the jetty. I went straight to a hotel and ordered food. It was 11 am, and I didn’t want to miss out on my breakfast, so me and fam had a brunch of amazing daal, vegetables, chapati, and rice. Me and Dad went out to talk to the shikaara owner for a ride while my mom and sis disappeared into one of the clothes shops lining the courtyard.

The shikaara ride on the Dal Lake

Shikaara all primed and decked up

The shikaara owners have organised themselves into a union, so it was futile to try to negotiate. They were trying to sell me their longest trip of 2 hours from Nishat Garden to Hazratbal Shrine. I rejected the idea as 1) my folks won’t be able to sit in a shikaara for 2 hours with an aching tailbone - I had seen enough of that for the past two days and 2) I wanted to explore the city on foot and not sit in a stupid boat. I agreed to a 30-minute tour to the Mughal gate, and they charged me a reasonbale 700 INR. The shikaara driver was sweet-mouthed - a quality that I imagine would be beneficial in his line of work - and he talked to us with candour and poignance about the state of shikaara drivers and his own experiences. The water was filled with wild weeds and unblossomed lotus plants. My mother was frozen with fright while my sister was angry at something. Overall, it was a pleasant shikaara ride and I got one more thing off my list to brag about to my friends.

Dal Lake from the shikaara. Picture by my sister

In sooth I know not why I am so sad

My mind kept harking back to the experiences of the previous day, and somewhere deep in my heart, I could feel unrest as if someone had come into an ordered room and made a mess. I think I was afraid of missing out. The hard part was figuring out what I was missing out on. I realised I could try to convince my heart of anything, but it would always want what it wanted. Standing there in one of the most beautiful places on the planet and feeling lonely wasn’t exactly my idea of vacationing. Watching people loving and being loved wasn’t boding well with me either. As Jaun Elia once said,

Kya taqalluf karen ye kehne mein
Jo khush hai, hum unse jalte hai

Why should I hesitate to admit that
I am jealous of those who are happy.

Shopping and Shalimar

My mother and sister bought some clothes from one of the shops. I discovered that Kashmiris have been welcomed as traders in West Bengal but not so much in other parts of India, such as UP or the western states. This explained the apparent softening behaviour of Kashmiris whenever I admitted that I was from Kolkata.

The cloth shop at the Nishat Bagh jetty

I checked maps and found that Shalimar Garden was 3 km away from Nishat Garden - a commute that would require transport. My Dad asked a CRPF personnel for directions, and we discovered the public transport - a Travera model - which stuffed 10 people + 1 driver in a 8-seater. The fare was dirt cheap - like 25 rupees per head and was ideal for the commute. We would rely on Travera rides for the rest of the day, and maybe the sore arm due to being squeezed with 3 other people in a 3-seater was worth it due to the cost saving. I’ll leave a tradeoff for you to decide if you ever find yourself in Srinagar.

We headed to Shalimar Garden on the Tavera, and I spent my time sketching a Chinar tree (finally) despite all the tourist distractions around. The garden was very unhappening as it was autumn, and most of the leaves were slowly transitioning from green to yellow. There were very few blossoming flowers, and the shades were dominated by ochres and dull greens.

Chinaar at Shalimar Bagh, Srinagar, October 2024

And now my road splits into two

The Friday hustle bustle near Hazratbal Shrine

Now, we had a choice to go south to Chashma Shahi and Pari Mahal (the other two of the four Mughal Gardens) or Hazratbal Shrine. We decided to go to the shrine as everyone was tired of gardens. We took another Tavera and headed out to one of the most happening and crowded marketplaces in the region. It was too crowded to even walk, and yet somehow, there was a flushing economy right here - vendors selling all kinds of wares - boiled black kidney beans (rajma) to Dastarkhaan (eating table cloths). Mother brought some succulent and sweet Kashmiri apples and walnuts. I was still disturbed, but I tried to make peace with myself. I could not point out what was making me sad. Everyone was super tired, so we took another Tavera straight to Lal Chowk, where I was squeezed between college students and ended up with a sore arm.

The Kashmiri feast - Wazwan

I had planned for an elaborate Kashmiri Wazwan dinner and looked up some places online. We settled on Mughal Durbar, around 1.3 km from our residency. We left the hotel around 7 pm and walked all the way. They had traditional floor seating arrangements with elaborate raised eating tables. The food was top-notch - the usual Kofta and Gustaba - flavourful and rich in protein. Then, there was Rogan Josh, Tabak Maash (roasted mutton ribs), a mutton curry, lots of flavoured rice (pulao), and steamed rice. The only thing lacking was some tandoori naan - my only qualm with the Kashmiri cuisine.

As it happened, my mother and sister were happy to have seen the Wazwan but contributed little to finishing it. Father and I got down to the business, but I performed poorly myself. While eating, we were joined by a couple and her little daughter, who was exceedingly cute - beyond what I have ever seen and what words could describe. I got distracted from eating. At around 9 pm, we headed out and went straight to our hotels to relax and sleep. The next day would be a trip to Pahalgam, the final stop on our tourist trinity. I was also aware that this trip was about to end as the stream of Slack and Whatsapp messages started growing in urgency and frequency.

In the mean time, I enjoyed the “Hum Dekhenge” with my family and discussed the meaning. My Urdu had improved greatly, just reading the billboards and signboards across the city. I listened to a bunch of other songs - This Must Be The Place by Talking Heads, Haal-e-Dil by Faridkot, Bulla ki Jaana by Rabbi Shergill, and Heer by Junoon. This was, of course, apart from the incredibly apt songs - Kashmir by The Yellow Diary and Kashmir by Led Zeppelin.

To sit with elders of the gentle race
This world has seldom seen
They talk of days for which they sit and wait
All will be revealed

Talk in song from tongues of lilting grace
Sounds caress my ear
And not a word I heard could I relate
The story was quite clear
~Kashmir, 1975

Day 6 - Hunger for scaling and the circles are disturbed

Jhelum river in the morning

Unlike the other days, I didn’t sleep soundly. Slightly fatigued and mildly annoyed, I went for my usual walk and tried to cheer up by listening to the downloaded songs. I had a funny dream of people running in hazmat suits and with Geiger counters². This time I went to the other side of the Jhelum river and returned from the market side, essentially completing a loop. I saw many signboards urging people not to pollute the river and within two minutes, I saw a 40-something auntie drop two polythene bags full of waste into Jhelum and walk away.

Route from Srinagar to Pahalgam

The traffic jam en route to Pahalgam on NH44

Family took some time to get ready and we were somewhat late reaching Pahalgam. I had understood that negotiations didn’t work as they had fixed rates and any forced negotiation will lead to poor service and behaviour as I observed on our trip to Gulmarg. Mr. Ahmad was standing outside when we arrived, and he asked us not to enter while he bring the car. Apparently, there was a queue-based driver allocation but he skipped the line. Smart move.

I sensed a marked decrease in enthusiasm within the family. It was apparent, that everyone was tired of traveling. The only reassurance was that our flights were booked for the next day.

A cuter traffic jam!

Saffron shopping

We started out slightly late and our driver stopped at Leithpora along NH44, a place known for Saffron cultivation. That’s when I had my first taste of kahwa with real saffron and chopped almonds - it was warm and sweet and extremely refreshing. We brought some saffron and dry fruits. I was impressed by the modernisation of the business as the person explained how they have taken the business online with an e-comm website and complete social media presence. This was the manifestation of from India, for the world.

Along the way, I noticed certain things that Mr Ahmad did. For instance, saying that you’re a “guest of a high court judge” makes for a speedy pass through the highways. Moreover, it was clear that he was intimately familiar with the routes as he took us through remote villages on off-beat shortcuts that made for a speedy journey to Pahalgam with minimal traffic jams. Even then, we got some traffic on the highway as some election commission machinery was being moved, given that the state elections had just concluded.

I suspect that the people in Kashmir have probably mistaken the Canadian flag as a representation of the maple leaf? I am really interested to know what a Canadian thinks about how one can find the Canadian flag literally anywhere even on tractor exhaust pipes.

Conversations were free-flowing in the cab when Mr. Ahmad exclaimed that I should be married in Kashmir, and everyone laughed. I was momentarily cringed but gradually found the idea not repulsive. And yet I could see that the driver didn’t mean what he said - he was a sycophant after all.

The trek to “Mini Switzerland”

Once we arrived in Pahalgam, I was again swamped by pony owners and tourists - almost all of them Bengali uncles and aunties. One of the owner quoted 6000 per person for the pony ride and I almost laughed. Basically, this was the usual peak season fare. I was stupefied. I was also very hungry so I might have come down too strongly on the poor guy. Mr. Ahmad took us to a restaurant and I first had a good, filling meal. Back to my senses, I decided that I would climb to the top on feet and I won’t need a guide - I could just follow the horse dung. But then, I didn’t want my fam to just sit at the base. I agreed to get three ponies after negotiating for 2000 each. This was still a rip-off but meh. I would trek all the way.

Me, at mini Switzerland. Lowkey this was my state throughout the trip, travelling is tiring!

It was barely an hour’s trek LOL. Before I knew it, I was already at “mini Switzerland” - yeah, right, they named the place after a foreign country only to highlight our infatuation and subordination with European countries. I asked the guide to allow my sister to trek for some time, but he refused. That’s when I got pissed. The so-called “mini Switzerland” was basically a picnic spot with zumba, ziplining, a bunch of food counters and a lot of people just sitting and chilling. Once again, there was a group of school kids and I wondered if they also had ponies. We inquired from the group in-charge and he told us that they had just climbed on their feet. They would be 15 to 20-year-old girls in salwar kameez and school shoes. I was impressed.

The trip back to Srinagar

Way to Srinagar. Love the way the sunlight is playing hide and seek through the trees

The trek back and the ride back to Srinagar was a quiet affair partly because I was pissed and tired. Thus, I invest most of my time in thinking. An idle mind is truly a wild monkey. I wondered about the J&K economy and its increasing reliance on India for food and grains (I read a few pages of Colonising Kashmir by Hafsa Kanjwal). I got worried about the calls for an “Israel-like” model in Kashmir by far-right Hindutva goons. I wondered what would happen to these beautiful and hospitable people. I was concerned about birth rates and mortality rates. I wanted to know what the Gini index and the wealth distribution among the population and what was the GDP per capita of the people of J&K. All of a sudden I wanted to know everything about Kashmir and I wanted to tell it to others but I knew that what I sought demanded a lifetime (or at least a PhD). I was constrained by the limitations of being human, and it bothered me. My heart grew heavy and I didn’t know whether it was still my sadness or the sadness of others that I carried without any reason.

Another picture en route to Srinagar

I was interrupted in the middle of my meditations by the driver with the familiar question - “Sir, aap kal kahan jayenge?” (Sir, where will you go tomorrow?). You can sense that he knew exactly when and how to ask that question, having practised it multiple times. I got annoyed again. It reminded me that they were here to make money off me, and that question had an ulterior motive behind it.

Somewhere nearer to Srinagar, I caught the eyes of a girl sitting at the back of a Tavera in front of me. The Tavera maintained its position in front of our cab for over 5-10 minutes giving me ample time to catch her in glances and then avert my eyes when she glanced at me. Yes, we were flirting! And then, Mr Ahmad decided to hit the accelerator and my brief moment of excitement vanished.

The state of the dogs in Srinagar was truly appalling. Somebody needs to look into this!

By the time, we reached Srinagar, my moral dilemma was getting the better of me - I didn’t want it to ruin my holiday but there it was - the elephant in the room - waiting to be addressed. I started thinking and overthinking about a gazillion things and ideas and experiences and concluded that my actions and thoughts are in constant dissonance and contradiction. My heart sank and I couldn’t breath. I had to take deep, forced breaths, which might have sounded like wheezing to a person sitting beside me - luckily there wasn’t. I’ll spare you the details of my conscience hangover but it was getting ugly. I was a bit sick so that wasn’t helping either. I had to talk to someone and dumped it all on my sister who was surprisingly much more accessible than she had ever been. This trip wasn’t that bad after all.

We took an auto to the Punjabi dhaba place and had food. My sister wanted to eat chicken so I took her to KFC at the City Mall after that - it was already 9 and all the shops were closed. The mall looked like the site map for a Last of Us campaign. The cashier was incredibly incompetent - he was unresponsive, distracted, and gave me the wrong bill. I was almost laughing. Anyhow, both of us had some delicious chicken and then we retreated back to our hotel. The next day would be a lot of travelling. I checked in everyone and slept early.

Makkah market at Lal Chowk, Srinagar

Day 7 - Cooldown and return

Served by the person who sat at the reception. This was such a kind gesture, loved it!

Sunday was lazier than usual. I was getting tired of the morning walks and lowkey craved Delhi. I just rotted in bed for sometime and started drafting parts of this blog. The room was a mess and mom and sis had started packing their stuff. Our flight was at 5 pm but I wanted to be before time as this was my first time flying with my family so I decided to leave for the airport at 1 pm. I still had around four hours so me and mother went out for a walk around the Jhelum marketplace. But before that, the receptionist came in with tea and girda (baked bread) with butter. It was the sweetest of gestures, one that would consolidate the image of the Kashmiris as being A-class in khair-maqdam (hospitality). This would be the only meal for the day as I would skip lunch in haste and fail to reach campus before dinner. But it was enough, and I was happy.

Books!

I booked a cab via OnCabs and headed out for the airport which was like 30 minutes away. It showed 350 on the app but the guy demanded 500. I complied. There were a bunch of security but the journey was a breeze without any hiccups. The Srinagar airport was small and cute and my only qualm with them were that they were addressing Muslim passengers as “shriman” and “shrimati”. Maybe it doesn’t hurt being a bit more empathetic and thoughtful? Sister wanted to have nachos and made me pay for it :/ but it’s alright, she’s my sister after all. The flight took an hour and we landed at IGI airport. It took us two days to reach Srinagar from Delhi, more money, and so much hassle but only an hour on the way back.

Conclusion

And that’s it! If you’re reading this, then thanks for sitting around! It takes exceptional patience to go through my incoherent mess of a memory dump. Was it all worth it? Yes, definitely! But what made it extra special was not the place but the people - I think that is, always, priceless.

NOTE: All images are the copyright of the author (that is, me). If you wish to use any image, please write to me for permission here

Footnotes

1: I would later find out this is done in border / sensitive areas as post-paid sims are easier to track. 2: Dream-readers, wanna try to interpret this?

A Trip To The Paradise On Earth: Part 1

gs454236@gmail.com (Basil Labib) — Fri, 25 Oct 2024 20:05:44 +0100

This travelogue and the next one narrates my experiences of spending a week in Kashmir with my family. As always, I have tried to combine my personal ruminations with more useful information if you’re a fellow traveller.

Disclaimer: This post might contains expletives.

On the trek path to Thajivas Glacier, Sonamarg. October 2024

Day 0 (Sunday) - Leaving Delhi

After a punishing mid-semester, the onslaught of RDV was setting a lighter and more exciting tone for campus peeps. Being a part of RDV for the past three years, one gains the wisdom that it isn’t much of a big deal for final year students if they are not in the organising team. Basically, I didn’t give a fuck about the fact that it was RDV time on campus. My weekend was spent in the library studying. However, I was looking forward to the Qawwali night slated for Sunday evening. I was also looking forward to catching a train just after that which will take me to Jammu and then to the magical land of Kashmir.

The Qawwali programme, performed by Nizami Bandhu , ended around 8:15 pm and I headed straight to my hostel for dinner. I reached my room at 9 pm and started packing up. I backtracked the metro schedule and decided that leaving at 9:30 would give me a good enough margin. This meant I had 30 mins to pack up for the week-long trip. No big deal.

Metro took 40-ish minutes (longer because I missed the Magenta line metro towards Botanical Garden by a minute or so and had to wait for 8 minutes). Family had already arrived at the station and we got ourselves booking into the AC waiting room on the first floor of NDLS railway station. Our train was at 5:30 in the morning and it was around 11pm. The plan was to spend the night at the station (Don’t ask me why; my brilliant dad comes up with these schemes).

This time I took care to get out of Gate 4 and not Gate 3 which reads “Ajmeri Gate” but apparently goes out of the station.

My sister was kinda unwell so I gave her hoodie (the one I brought from London for her). She popped in a paracetamol (which I brought for her as well) and she dozed off.

I was anxious because the BlueDot application deadline was in 17 hours, and I knew that I wouldn’t be able to submit it if I got on the train (the journey was around 10 hours) and then we had to reach a hotel in Jammu. So, I had to submit the application before I got on the train which gave me 6 hours. I took out my laptop and started typing. I wrote answers to two questions before my brain stopped making sense of words, and I knew that I had to sleep.

23:46

Overrun by guilt and some concern, I set an alarm for 3 am and dozed off to Jharkhand tourism advert mixed with railway announcement noises mixing gently into my ears.

I woke up at 4 am. My dad had silenced the alarm :/

I took out my laptop and started typing drowsily. It was around 5. We left the waiting room otherwise, they would have charged for another hour. I was sitting on the platform and typing when my laptop went dead (great, I thought). I finished up the form and submitted it on my phone. I must say it wasn’t the best of my efforts given how fatigued I was from the day before - had to meet a couple of friends, and took a BSP meeting, went to the Qawwali night, turned in an assignment, and travelled to the station.

Day 1 (Monday) - The train journey from Delhi to Jammu

The train started around 20 minutes late, and I headed straight for the bed on the upper berth. I slept till 11 am. I forced myself to sleep more, but the constant chattering noises and vendor peddling originating from below compelled me not to. The next hour was bed rotting max as I kept dozing off and waking up as my body shuddered in sync with the metal box enclosing it cruising north.

My brilliant dad didn’t order food when he could, and I had sworn never to order from IRCTC.

At around 4 pm, all our networks vanished. I thought it might be a temporary glitch. Pre-paid sims are blocked after Pathankot.¹ I felt a bit constrained. An unnamed silence fell over the group, it felt like our freedom was being constrained.

Fritters with achaar and veggies near Jalandhar station

On top of that, they decided to divert our train from Ludhiana to a station after Jalandhar, which meant that we would arrive at Jammu 4 hours late at 7 pm. Our train was sitting in the middle of nowhere in the wilderness. Everyone would be in the dark unless we get a new SIM card.

A loud whistle, and a sudden jolt, and we started rolling again. My day was spent in staring out the window or going back to sleep. Dad was constantly in touch with a native Kashmiri person who guided us for travel and accommodation.

19:07

We reached Jammu and headed to a telecom shop to get a post-paid SIM card. Navigating the next 7 days would be tricky, I thought, as we brought one SIM only for a pack of 4. The rest of the day (or whatever was left of it) was pretty boring as we checked into a lodge off the main road near the bus stand and had dinner at a cheap hotel.

Our nighthold on the first floor (with the flag sticking out) in Jammu

The food was my first sampling of Kashmiri cuisine, and it was sumptuous and flavourful. I had koftas which were huge (around 3 inches in diameter) and roasted chicken along with thick-grained hard rice. I would soon discover that naan and rotis are not popular in Kashmir.

As I walked through the lanes, drivers were swarming around us like hungry bees to nectar. I looked at their faces and imagined a hard life filled with struggle and trying to make ends meet. I could smell the poverty in the air. It reminded me of my city.

Dad talked to a guy on call who quoted 38K + taxes for a 5-day trip. I spent the time till midnight reading up on Vargis Khan’s blogs and planning for the next day. Uncertainty loomed large, but I was excited. Perhaps, I was a bit anxious too because I had led three other people for this holiday. This was the first time I was being directly responsible for my family. I would have to prioritise comfort over cost and find the right balance.

Every family has a bit of…contention and disagreements. I think family trips help bring people who, although living in the same physical space, grow mentally more distant as they accumulate personal experiences - a dangerous state of affairs. This was my motivation for this trip. I think I have been partly successful but we’re getting ahead of ourselves here.

PS: My dad snored so loudly in bed LMAO, I couldn’t sleep. I opened my laptop and started typing.

Day 2 (Tuesday) - NH44

Woke up around 6 am to Dad moving around the chair across the room noisily. I can sleep in bright daylight but I need pin drop silence to sleep. It dawned on me that the next few days are gonna be about cooperation - a term which gradually loses its significance as people start to live alone and apart from one another. But I was pissed then so I scolded Dad to go back to sleep and slept till 7.

The gurudwara at Jammu

One of the best times to explore the geography of a locality is during the morning before the shops open up. So, I freshened up, put on my shoes, and went out to explore the streets of Jammu. There was a gurudwara in the distance and I could hear hymns blaring out of speakers in a language which I couldn’t understand. I came back to find my Dad having tea and rapturously chatting with the owner of a tea shop beneath our hotel. This would become a common pattern and something I would begin to admire as it would allow us to find out about cheap options for commute and food quite effortlessly - a form of “herd mind” that even google doesn’t have access to.

Me and Dad went out to get a cab from the stand to take us to Srinagar. It was around 250 km away and the driver charged us a reasonable 5500 INR for a 7-seater car although we were four. There were also cheaper option of a small reserved cab for 3500 and a shared cab (“service gaddi”) for 900 per person and buses for as low as 200. We paid for the lodge who cared us a reasonable 600 INR for an air-conditioned room which also had a CRT television which reminded me of the TV we owned a very, very long time ago.

Delicious aloo parantha at a vegetarian dhaba in Jammu

We had breakfast at a vegetarian dhaba - aloo paranthe and naan - hot and dripping with butter which reminded me of comforting times of Delhi. I had a little altercation with father regarding a personal matter and I felt a bit hurt. We managed to make it a public spectacle and I could feel people staring at us. After tea, we started out of Jammu at around 10 am. The driver told us that it would take us around 5 hours to reach Srinagar if we are lucky and it usually takes 6 hours. We reached Srinagar around 4pm with a 45 mins stop for lunch at a dhaba after the Banihal tunnel on the NH44 route from Jammu to Srinagar.

Ah, the mountains - that wonderful source of healing which I craved for so long!

The day was spent on the road watching towns and trees go cruising by. Road fatigue is a very real thing. Out of boredom, I estimated the length of one of the two tunnels to be between 8-10km based on the speed and time taken to cross it. That tunnel was 9km long. I inquired the driver about the Mughal road route to Srinagar that went through Shopian as I had read on VK’s blog and he replied that due to bad condition and longer time, that route is seldom preferred by drivers. I made a mental note to travel from Jammu to Srinagar via the Mughal road.

Along the way, I saw the construction work for a railway line between Jammu and Srinagar and thought that would be cool to have a direct line from Delhi to Srinagar.

The funny lunch

The lunch was a funny affair as the serving person forgot to get us “naan” - I thought they were making naan (as is usually done in the north). It turned out to be cold and pre-baked bread with a sprinkling of sesame - the kind that peddlers used to sell back at my naani’s place for 5 rupees. I had it with kofta (meatball) again - maybe I was getting fond of meatballs.

Kashmiri dhaba on the way to Srinagar

I remember dozing off just before Srinagar after lunch as the strong winds blew my hair strands apart. The chill in the air increased as we entered Srinagar, and it felt so good on my face. It reminded me of London. That’s when I saw armed forces casually strolling the streets with AK-47 rifles hanging from their shoulders and, naturally, got a bit scared.

Settling down in Srinagar

We went to a hotel on Court Road and negotiated a deal for the night. Dad and I transferred the luggage into the room, and I started with my sister to explore the neighbourhood. That’s when I got a call from my Dad telling me to come quickly as we had to vacate the room. I got confused but hastened to the hotel. It turns out that the receptionist was now demanding more money and Mom and Dad were waiting for us at the reception with all our luggage. The funny thing is that there were two or three more people who were showing us their rooms but as we had agreed on this deal before, we stuck to it even though the room was a little mid. As destiny would have it, we got checked into another room which was far better, better furnished and more clean, with a helpful receptionist.

It wasn’t troubling, except for the unnecessary hassle of carrying stuff around. This left an initial impression of Kashmiris being cunning and self-interested, just like Delhites, who are known to be unruly and crafty. However, I would soon debunk this experience with many more where the counter-impression outshone this minute inconvenience.

It was around 5 pm and we were all settled for good. My parents decided to stay in the hotel and relax - probably tired from the journey but I was buzzing with excitement. After my first excursion to the bridge market in the west, I crossed to the other side and had mutton kebab from a street-side food stall for 50, I started again for a second walk towards the east.

The Jhelum river at dusk

It was getting close to sunset and at around 6 pm, the sound of azaan sobered the movement and the chattering. Lal Chowk is a marketplace with a nice court that was recently constructed. There were Kashmiris and non-Kashmiris sitting on benches and gossiping, kids running around or skating, women with covered head shopping in pairs of two or negotiating a deal. I had candied fruit slice at a dry fruit shop at Makkah market which was a beehive of clothes and other accessories.

Having fun in the market hustle-bustle - A halwai shop

I had some non-academic conversations with my sister which I’ll leave out of this blog but suffice it to say that that conversation would not have happened in an ordinary setting. I think Srinagar’s vibe at night had uplifted everyone’s mood after two days of traveling and everyone had got more chatty.

We also booked our flight tickets to New Delhi for the 13th after collectively deciding that 2 days of travel would be too hectic, and I had classes from Monday. This would be the first flying experience for my father, mother, and sister.

I looked up a few places and somehow, Kashmiri cuisine had won my heart, so I went to a cheap Kashmiri restaurant. The food was incredibly flavourful - gustaba was a thick, spiced yoghurt-based gravy with finely minced mutton meatballs served with thick-grained rice, minced spinach salan and onion and radish pickle made with vinegar and a bunch of condiments. My only pet peeve was that they had no “naan”. The person who served us was younger than me, but it didn’t seem so because he was as tall as me. My father has a habit of…how should I put it…energetically interacting with the locals, and that’s how I got to know that one of them was named Aadil from the word A’dl which means one who delivers justice.

Dinner at a local hotel - rice with gustaba (minched mutton meatballs served in a yoghurt-based gravy), spinach salaan, and vinegar-based onion pickle

We walked to our hotel, which was a 3-4 minute affair, and relaxed. I started to plan for the next day. Sister and mom were a bit ill.

Day 3 (Wednesday) - Gulmarg

The route from Srinagar to Gulmarg

I woke up at 6 to silence my alarm and went back to the warmth of my blanket. My parents and sister slept on the bed and I got my mattress on the floor. I got up at 7 am.

View from our hotel room, early morning, Srinagar

I freshened up and went to the tourist taxi stand at Lal Chowk. Once again, due to the commanding presence of my father and his lively demeanour, all the drivers surrounded us, and we had a nice little chat. We negotiated a ride to Gulmarg for 2300, which, I think, was decent. Later on, I would realise my mistake as it was a small cab. If you’re more than two people, than I would suggest taking a larger cab (like an Innova). Our driver was a seventy-two year old Kashmiri dadaji who was as sharp and witty as ever. We started out of Srinagar at 8:47 am and reached Gulmarg at around 10:30 am, with a stop at Tangmarg for breakfast. Gulmarg is around 50 km from Srinagar.

Masala Dosa at Tangmarg. On the way to Gulmarg

The breakfast was masala dosa and aloo paratha - my sister exclaimed that it was one of the best paratha she had - which makes sense since this was her first time eating “northern” paranthas. The dosa was okay but nowhere near the perfection that I had at BLR. Food was reasonably priced for hilly areas.

A Chinaar tree at Tangmarg

Most of the journey to Gulmarg involved a failed attempt at meditating while cruising through the asphalt as my father kept interjecting with the most random of questions addressed to the driver. I gave up after some time and was contended with letting the cold breeze blow my hair. The driver smiled softly and answered all of the questions with patience. I mentally noted their accent, which would become a subconscious exercise whenever a Kashmiri would be speaking - for instance, triple zero is “troo-ple zero” or six is “see-kas”.

As I got out of the cab at Gulmarg, I was swarmed by a gang of shepherds (called gujjars). The place was a cacophony of tourists, mostly Bengali uncles and aunties, Kashmiri shepherds, and horse dung. I walked to some distance for some quiet and was adamantly followed by one guy who was certain to take me to the top on his pony. I think these people have grown accustomed to the art of acquiring customers - if people really want to learn about customer acquisition cost then it is from these people. Sure enough, after some nudging, we negotiated a deal of four ponies for 1600 INR.

The waterfall at Gulmarg. Totally worth the climb.

We left for the waterfall at 11 am. Most of the people were lining up for the cable car ride. It was the first time mounting and riding a pony - for all four of us. Most of the climb was hard. It looked pretty hard, and I could only imagine the poor pony’s struggle to climb with me on its back. I felt pity for the animal. We reached the top at 1:10 pm (2 hours!) with a short break in between. What was at the top? A waterfall! I don’t think it was the top, but I noticed my parents were weary, so I didn’t insist on going any further. After the Kheerganga trek, my body yearned to go on another adventure. I thought this was it. The water was ice cold, and I went almost to the top of the waterfall. Dark clouds had gathered, and it was drizzling. The guy advised us to start descending, and we started for the base at around 2 pm and reached the base at 3:08 without any breaks. My parents were tired as fuck, and I had started to get weary too and develop some discomfort sitting on the uncomfortably-made seat.

Me, resting for all the hardwork done by my pony :P

The driver didn’t take us to the Maharaja’s Palace or the golf course and headed straight back to Srinagar. We repaid him by not traveling with him to Sonamarg and Pahalgam. He also didn’t allow me to connect my phone to the car’s music system on the pretext that it wasn’t working. It’s hard to tell when people are lying.

The journey back was faster and less memorable except for stopping for 2 minutes at an apple farm and being asked for 20 rupees to see the farm which we refused partly because all of us were tired and because why would you ask for money to show us a garden?!

I went for a walk around the neighbourhood in Srinagar, specifically to the riverfront boulevard on the other bank of Jhelum as I failed to do so for the morning walk. It was too dark so I left. I had some snacks - mutton kebab which they serve on the iron skewer with refined flour roti served with green chutneys and chicken seekh kebabs which wasn’t exactly what I would call hygienic - at the night market on the Jhelum bridge. My sister just made faces while the person at the kebab counter showed me how to hold the metal skewer with one hand, break the roti with another, slide a piece from the skewer, and have the kebab.

Day 4 (Thursday) - Sonamarg

Route from Srinagar to Sonamarg

I woke up around 7 am and went for my customary walk while everyone else got ready. It was interesting to see people naturally fall into a habit during the morning. After my meditative walk when I mostly listened to a few downloaded songs (since I didn’t have an internet connection), me and Dad started to look for a cab and ended up on the other bank of river Jhelum near the hospital. After a long and arduous negotiation primarily led by my father, to which I was merely privy, we couldn’t make a deal and left after Dad finished the cup of tea offered to us by the leader of the cab drivers at the stand. One thing which you must realise about my father is that he is a performer and he loves to yap - a quality which was on full display this time as not just the drivers but also native passers-by stopped to listen to this man from outside Kashmir in a blazer talking with passion and energy - something which I would believe lacks in the lazy, cold Kashmiri morning.

Srinagar in the morning

As it was already 9 am and we had planned to go to Sonamarg, which was twice as far as Gulmarg, we headed straight to the taxi stand at Lal Chowk and, without any delay arranged for an Innova at a somewhat pricy cost of 4000 INR. I allowed myself this indulgence as I was traveling with family, and the road was long. It turned out to be a good decision.

We left Srinagar for Sonamarg at 09:27 am, and after being slowed down by the hustle-bustle of a city waking up - hawkers peddling their wares, parents dropping off their children to school, and tourists, just like us, started for their destinations - we found the road comforting and stretching out into the horizon. Our driver, Mr. Ahmad, was a dark and short man who didn’t look like a native Kashmiri but whose father was from Jammu and whose mother was from Kashmir. He was very cooperative and doubled as our guide, helpfully pointing out interesting locales within the city and without. I later discovered that he was also a sycophant - a quality that pays well to inculcate, especially for people in the tourism industry. I connected my phone to the car’s music system and put together a Sufi/Qawwali playlist which helped me calm down.

The travel to Sonamarg was around three hours long, with a 45-minute break for breakfast. Although I was surrounded by the best valleys and wilderness, my heart, somehow, was not at peace. The fact that I couldn’t find the reason only aggravated my misery. The three hours were mostly spent in contemplation, occasionally broken by a random question or remark by my father from the backseat.

As soon as I reached the base, I was (once again) swarmed by locals trying to sell us pony rides. It was funny how everyone was so broken after the Gulmarg trip that I dropped the idea of another pony ride for the family. I was interested in trekking to Thajiwas Glacier, as I had read in Vargis Khan’s blog. It was supposed to be a 3 km trek which was nothing compared to the 12 km trek to Kheerganga back in December. To be plain, I was desperate to forget about the cage that withheld me, and somehow I believed that tiring myself out would lead to that escape.

I knew the trek could be completed without a guide (I only had to follow horse/pony dung and their foot patterns on the ground - no doubt, a more adventurous experience), but I agreed nevertheless. This was a good decision as the guide was only a year older than me, and we had a lot of interesting conversations - certainly a welcome change from the rather depressing, lonely walk.

My guide was a native, bearded Kashmiri who was shorter than me. He would later tell me that he was twenty-two. Although I couldn’t understand much of the Kashmiri, I was attentive enough to figure out when my guide was signaling to his fellows, and I could notice the shift to cordiality when they found out I was a Muslim. My guide was (unwarrantedly) skeptical about me finishing the trek - I think that is how they sell their pony rides. In any case, we spotted budul (pine) and bhoojh patra (paper tree), and edible black cherry trees. Funnily, our conversation shifted to the guide confided in me, his love life and it was interesting to note how people are not that much different anywhere - they all have the same set of needs, the same set of instincts. In contrast, I found myself quite lacking.

Paper tree on the way to Thajivas

Pine on the way to Thajivas, helpfully pointed out by my guide

The trek to Thajivas was the most scenic and soothing for me. The guide also directed a short reel for me haha. I was more interested in understanding the Kashmiri youth’s mindset towards politics and education - you know, given it’s a sensitive zone. However, my guide was more interested in sending snaps to his girlfriend, so I let him be. Life truly has a funny way of throwing us back to the things that we are trying to run away from, I guess.

I remember walking to a cliff and only managing to utter, “Wow.” When Shah Jahan exclaimed that this was the only paradise on Earth, I was sure he wasn’t kidding.

“Gar firdaus, ruhe zamin ast, hamin asto, hamin asto, hamin ast” (If there is ever a heaven on earth, it’s here, it’s here, it’s here)
~Shah Jahan

I joked that the crows were cawing with a capital K. On the way down, we found a lot of tourists at the pony checkpoint, and the guide offered his prayers at a mosque (essentially a 400 sq ft room) while I waited amidst (mostly) Bengali and Delhi newlyweds or couples. WTF life. I suspect it was the season for school trips, and I found students from local schools camping around - groups of minor girls eyeing me and giggling was not something I enjoyed in a foreign state. I tried dipping my feet in the water stream, but it was dead cold. My foot went numb in one second and ached badly. I enjoyed the Maggi that my guide offered, and we had one each. 10/10 for hospitality. Then, we started for the base.

Tourist base on the descent from the glacier

Pahadon waali maggi! ft. my guide in the background

By this time, my guide was really invested in the conversation with his bandi (girlfriend) on Snapchat, so the descent mostly became walking in silence. He told me that the marriageable age in Kashmir is around 19/20 for both boys and girls. He also told me that his girlfriend is going to be related to him and then we had a discussion on whether he prefers to marry a relative or not. His arguments were, surprisingly, against marrying a relative as he pointed out that it’s less probable that one would incite unrest by invoking the past sexual experiences of their partner - which I think makes sense.

We reached the base at 1600 hours and, to my surprise, found that my parents and sister had taken off to the Zoji La pass, so I was left alone and had to wait. I paid my guide 1500, and it occurred to me that he should be paying me as I was his therapist during the trek, patiently listening to everything he obviously wanted to tell to someone who could understand - indeed, that’s what we most yearn for, right? Someone who understands us. They came around 16:30, and we started for Srinagar. I was utterly convinced that Kashmir was the place for healing. I already started planning how to spend my winter in Kashmir meditating. Amidst Sufi songs and Qawwalis, I allowed myself to transiently fall into sleep. I remarked how tourism might be destroying the people’s will to self-improve - it is a bad thing to be excessively blessed as it turns one complacent. I also found his overwhelming urge to study Kashmiri history. We came at a juncture and saw a mosque to my left and a temple to my right, and I exclaimed, “Yes, my India.”

My parents sneaked into the blanket and went to sleep almost immediately. I went out for my evening stroll to Lal Chowk. It was post the maghrib azaan which indicated sunset. The square was lit with golden light and there was a cacophony flux of tourists and natives. I observed the native Kashmiris and felt adoration and pity at the same time. I fleetingly glanced at the Kashmiri women and was dumbstruck - if men go to war for them, then perhaps even war is justified. Anyway, I forced myself to not stare otherwise, it might be considered bad manners. I looked at their produce, the richly colored fruits on display, the flavourful dry fruits on sale, and felt pity for a land that had the potential to be prosperous, finding itself at the crossroads of greed and jealousy and suffering for none of its faults. It reminded me of Palestine and the (para)phrase The bride is beautiful, but she is already married to another man. I sighed. It was all too distressing.

An assortment of marinated meat kebabs displayed openly. When it comes to hygiene, noone can compete with Indians!

Trying the mutton kebabs from a roadside shack shop

My father started making grunting noises and took support to stand up. It was due to the pony ride the day before. I googled a nearby dhaba and visited a Punjabi place at Lal Chowk to minimise traveling. My mother also had mild cold symptoms. My sister was already two days deep in her cold - I found myself traveling with suboptimal fellow travelers. We had dal makhani and laccha parantha at the Punjabi place. It was good, but I already had some snack kebabs from roadside stalls. My mother’s eyes lit up when she excitedly described how the cab ascended in circles to the pass (”gol gol gol karke upar legaya”)and I swear to God, at that moment, I knew that the trip was a success.

Most of the vendors happily accepted UPI payments - especially hotels and restaurants. It was occasion but still significant to run into a person asking for only cash. The bank ATMs around Lal Chowk - Union and PNB were quite disappointing in their sub-par quality of service. J&K bank was a cutie pie, though.

At the hotel’s reception, I saw a Sikh in his 25s chatting with the receptionist. My father and I went in, and we had an impromptu boy’s adda session. That’s how I learned about their local cab service - OnCabs. It would prove to be a saviour in the coming days. We explored quite a bit of local transport, partly to learn more about them and drive down costs. India would make for a linguist’s wildest fantasy come true - the range of phonetic variation one observes across the land is insane - I still wonder how Satra becomes Sa-taa-ra and whether that’s a travesty or a melody.

I went to bed with two thoughts: How can one ever be unhappy in his paradise? And how to be the best version of myself?

Reaching the end

Thank you for reading till the end! I hope to cover the rest of the trip in a second part to this blogpost.

NOTE: All images are the copyright of the author (that is, me). If you wish to use any image, please write to me for permission here

London Diaries! Part 1

gs454236@gmail.com (Basil Labib) — Fri, 04 Oct 2024 06:39:49 +0000

This is the second time I’m trying to write this post. It shouldn’t be this hard to write a travelogue, right? RIGHT?! But it is.

Some part of that blame goes to all the rich and many, many experiences that I have had on this trip. Each of them fought for space in this post, and inadvertently, I had to let go of some. In any case, what follows is my travelogue for my trip to London from 16th August to 27th August 2024 - reproduced to the best of my abilities.

Me, marginally happy: August 2024

The summer

This trip was part of the summer fellowship I was doing in AI safety. Most of the fellowship happened in July but a large chunk of it spilled into August. This meant missing out on a month of university (!)¹ Of course, I had to manage my attendance, assignments, and keep up with the course work whilst working full time for the fellowship and managing logistics for the trip - such as Visa, etc. To be fair, though, a large chunk of the logistics was handled by JJ, our fellowship manager so kudos to him. Unlike the first time , I was joined by three other fellows - Green, Silver, and Scarlet.

Day 0 (16th August)

All of us flew from Bangalore to Mumbai on a domestic flight and then another to Heathrow. Why? Don’t ask me. It was some optimisation that JJ had done to save costs. Anyhow, the funny thing was that we had to make a terminal change from T1 to T2 at Mumbai. And even more funny was the fact that our BLR-BOM flight got delayed by 2 hours which left us with a very short window to check-in, clear immigration and security to catch the Air India flight to Heathrow. We left our residence in BLR at around 3:30 AM (!) and flew from BLR at around 8:30 AM. Thankfully, the transit was a breeze and I found myself at the threshold of immigration in no time. Our org compensated by giving us free reign on the company card (this is an important inventory item for broke college students like me :’)) so I got myself a sandwich and hot chocolate from Starbucks.

The flight itself was very unhappening in that sense. I had planned to binge on movies or something, but instead, I was just too tired, so I slept. The food was meh but it was Air India - what else was I expecting? Moreover, I had an aisle seat allocated but they changed it to a middle seat so F U Air India. But none of it mattered because I was buzzing with excitement for what laid ahead at the end of that flight. Green was super focused and was studying for some exam and also preparing for a career fair organised at LISA where a bunch of AI safety orgs would be participating. For reference, see below:

Ultimate stalking tool ;)

We landed at Heathrow around 7 PM BST. Clearing immigration was a joyful experience this time because I wasn’t alone and didn’t have to talk to myself to keep me company. I’m pretty sure some highly contemptible/controversial subjects were discussed while standing in the queue which could have potentially gotten me and Green kicked out of the UK :P

The familiar smell of the UK hit me as I descended the escalator - the freshly baked donuts, the royalty (the floor cleaner?), and the scent of Englishmen - all combined in an alien and foreign smell. I exclaimed to myself, “Yeah, we’re back again,” as my olfactory memories were tingled.

I quickly realised that my phone is stupid and it cannot handle 5G bandwidths which meant that the UK sim was useless for me. I got the Airtel international plan last time and it was shit so I was extremely wary to use that but given I had no option left, I had to buy that and surprisingly, it worked like a charm! After spending a good 2-3 hours running around the airport with our luggage, we finally found our way to the cab station and found yourselves being escorted by a South Asian driver. Unaware of how things work in the UK, we thought this was a perfectly safe thing to do - as it turned out, it wasn’t! We were promptly cornered by police-officers who told us what really happened - the driver was illegally trying to get a ride. We had a nice chat with the lady police-officer who was very kind and helped us find the actual cab station while JJ had to fill a witness form for the police-officer’s documentation purposes. Basically, more delay.

We finally took an Uber at 23:14 in a suave electric Mini Cooper, I think, and drove all the way to Edmonton where we were staying. I remember mentally noting the incredible weather and how it was a blessing since the last time I was here - right in the middle of the cold, bitter winter. I remember hitting the bed and not even looking at the clock.

Shoreditch - 1

Day 1 (17th Aug)

I woke up early the next day thanks to the lovely sunlight pouring in through the window. It was a modest room with two beds but I had it all to myself. ^_^

We started out for LISA around 8am as Maps showed it was almost an hour of travel from Edmonton. We took the Overground from Silver Street and went south towards Liverpool (the last station on that line). I couldn’t help but notice the stares I got on the tube because I was different! My brain was hyperactive and I was taking notes of small things like the fact that it costs 3.6 GBP to travel from SS to Liverpool. For some reason, I thought this would be a grand addition to my blog so here we are.

Shoreditch - 2 The Graffiti walls

Shoreditch - 3 The Graffiti buildings

We also met Seb at a roadside food place near Shoreditch, who was also managing the program while having our breakfast and it was a bit awkward turning around to talk to him while also munching on my fries :P I would soon discover that this neighbourhood had incredible graffiti and colourful wall arts everywhere.

The food - this represents pretty much what how the next 10 days’ diet would look like for, at the end of which I would be positively craving for naan and butter chicken

Jodie at the LISA reception was super helpful and got us all settled in, I wrapped up some work and prepared for chatting with the orgs at the career fair. I also invalidated a perception I had formed the last time I was in the UK - that people here value human life way more than in India and it is embodied through the fact that people were more close-knit and were more keen to know about you than in India. This also meant that it was good manners to greet someone with a gentle “Hello” and a smiling face. As an introvert, it was incredibly hard to go out of my way and reach out to another person but I tried my best to grow this limb. I’ll rant about manners later at full length.

Met a bunch of amazing folks at the fair. Moreover, I was impressed by Green’s incredible focus as she spent more than 6 hours preparing for what I dismissed as “talking to people.” Now, that’s a person with a purpose.

We broke for lunch, and it was raw tuna which was horrible!

Tuna fish lunch

We went to Barbican centre which was this social gathering / movie theatre / cafe centre with a view. It was around 7pm and the streets were all empty and the sun was still up in the sky. That’s when it dawned on me - “We were really in the temperates.”

Shoreditch - 4 The evening dusk

Me and Scarlet ordered food from Popeye’s on Uber eats and I called it a day. We planned a bit in the living room which I called the “mahasabha” (the name stuck) for the next day. We decided to explore the city.

Day 2 (18th Aug)

I woke up early and called my folks (this became a constant for everyday) and went out for a walk around the neighbourhood. I was also recording these long-ass video logs which I won’t be sharing with anyone - these were mostly about my personal thoughts and impressions of objects and experiences.

Edmonton - 1 The morning sun

Anyhow, we started out quite late around noon and had a brunch at a nearby McDonalds. Then, we started out for the British museum. Suffice it to say, it was a moving experience notwithstanding the fact that half of those objects were stolen but oh well. I explored the museum with Green and realised what else does a person really need apart from a fellow museum enthusiast to discuss ideas with. I have been to a lot of museum along and trust me, it’s not a very nice experience.

Trafalgar Square

We walked all the way to Trafalgar Square and the Westminster area. I remembered visiting the Square on the last morning back in December and it was really so much more of an experience with people in it! We went to a congested TESCO and shopped for food items - milk, fruits, bread - that kind of a thing. We walked along the Thames and giggled and gossiped about a myriad of things - I think friends make life much easier. But I think the true highlight of the evening was taking a work call with Big Ben in the background ;-; (I felt like Hrithik Roshan in ZNMD)

Day 3 (19th Aug)

Arriving at Liverpool street station, I realised how beauty it really was - with the Victorian-Gothic architecture nesting a modern tech-savvy station catering to hundreds of travellers - each in their own world. The first day of the week started strong with a lot of work, a lot of briefings and a few workshops/sessions planned by our org. My talk was planned on Tuesday so I was both a bit nervous and a bit too excited. For the first time in two months, my call with my mentor happened at the same 10am BST! The food was alright, it was some cool rice and beans. The squad decided to not explore a lot so we just went for a walk around the neighbourhood.

Shoreditch - 5 More painted walls!

A typical English pub ^_^

Day 4 (20th Aug)

Well, surprisingly, I don’t remember much of what happened on Tuesday apart from my talk and the fact that I was super busy. The org had planned our schedule and it was made to maximise our engagement with other folks. We met A who was working with another lab and he gave an impromptu talk on his paper on prompt attribution. It was so cool to see so many low-hanging fruits in the AI safety field. Tuesdays are also “lightning talk” days at LISA which meant that anyone can present for 5 mins at lunch. We also presented our work which was more like a pitch followed by my talk at the Jupiter conference room for 15 mins. I remember buzzing with excitement and remarking to myself that I could do one of these talks every week! Food was much better, I think, it was something Indian - like butter chicken.

Lunch and dinner were reserved for informal social networking - “what are you working on?” that kind of thing. I would push myself to talk to other people and listen to what they had to say. I would soon find myself looking forward to food time as a lot of other orgs were also working from LISA, and it was a nice chance to network with these smart folks.

Day 5 (21st Aug)

By Wednesday, I had pretty much settled into the workflow for LISA. Today was Green’s talk on simulation they had run with LLM agents to understand the flow of information in the political context. I didn’t have many complain about food. I gradually got to know almost everyone at the office (unlike the forced way, which was initially endorsed by JJ). I came to the realisation that very few people were doing foundational work - the kind of work that, if successful, would change the course of AGI. But most others were doing basic stuff only. The normal distribution of expertise and talent once again? Maybe.

Green gave me a spontaneous session on Kannada on the overground. I also bought a body wash for myself at Boots. Green and Scarlet insisted on making strawberry and chocolate (cause why not?), but I didn’t like it very much.

Strawberry and chocolate - a culinary experiment

Day 6 (22nd Aug)

I woke up to be greeted by an overcast and gloomy day with lots of drizzling and wetness (but that’s just London always, right?). JJ was down with flu so we took a cab to the office instead of the overground. My mentor finally came to LISA (he was away for some other stuff) and me and Silver got to meet him for the first time. We also planned a number of group co-working sessions and it got extremely tiring by the end of day. Our org was not helping as we had to attend a few more session and other workshops. Our team decided to continue working on the paper after the fellowship ends (Spoiler alert: Our paper is currently under review!).

I was also fortunate to attend a talk by Stanislav Fort, who is a researcher at GDM, and he delivered a tight and fast-paced talk on his latest paper. Here’s the paper if you’re interested. I would also be attending another talk later by Mary Phuong who works on model evals at GDM. Both were extremely enriching experiences.

I went out with my mentor for a 1:1 talk and got treated to mocha at a local English pub/cafe. Both Thursday and Friday were super super busy as we wrapped up our work at the LISA office. We were all busy fostering new collaborations and bouncing new research ideas for the sake of it. It was super fun.

Most of the weekdays we didn’t go out after work although I was totally in for it. It’s not much fun to go out alone. But what was even more confusing was when Green spontaneously started crying and I honestly got extremely confused. What the hell is wrong with how girls are made? She was perfectly fine a moment ago and all of a sudden, it felt like she would drown the world with her tears. I concluded I couldn’t ever understand women and went to bed.

Day 7 (23rd Aug)

Friday was all about wrapping up. I couldn’t help but notice how people were punctual to the minute and that helped everything work like clockwork. We got a lovely and sweet farewell from the LISA staff with a cake and got on a call with the managing director of the program. There was a bunch of other formalities like feedback form and so on. I also happen to meet Fazl Barez whose papers I have studied with much interest. It was a stardom moments of sorts.

We had a final concluding lunch planned with our mentors on Saturday so we decided to give them gifts and went to Boots yet again! For my mentor, we got a “How to Be British” booklet and a thank you card (which I didn’t write anything into because I went to Tate Modern on Saturday morning (more on this later!) and completely forgot about it :/ - kinda embarrassing ;-; but my mentor is cool enough to understand).

It’s a capitalist world after all…

This would be my final visit to LISA and Green took some polaroids on the camera she had brought with her. I was impressed by how organised she was in general; with her clothes, her accessories, her thoughts, etc. - a quality I can only wish to embody as a grown adult male.

Conclusion

I’ll stop here because I fear this post is getting too long. This post mainly focuses on my experience at the work office. The second part will focus on the exploration and the fun part of my trip to London.

Footnotes

1: I know, it sounds crazy. However, one thing that university has taught me is to consider what seems crazy and face it head-on.

Implementing Kerberos Authentication System from Scratch

gs454236@gmail.com (Basil Labib) — Sun, 29 Sep 2024 06:58:24 +0100

Introduction

Sometime back, I started exploring network security systems and stumbled across this nice course page ¹ from my institute. I thought it would be a nice complement to the introductory computer networks course I am taking this semester. I started reading this fascinating short design principles article on the Kerberos system. It was so encapsulating that I spent an entire afternoon drawing pictures in my notebook. I decided to implement the ideas given in the article from scratch. In other words, I decided to build my own Kerberos authentication system.

This blog post outlines the process and the reasoning. We’ll build the system from the ground up, that is, we will propose a system, then point out its flaws, and try to redesign the system to overcome those faults. Along the way, we’ll meet a lot of ideas and end up with a much deeper understanding of why Kerberos is designed the way it is.² (The source code is available on Github).

Authentication model

Motivation

As we live in a world with limited resources, we need to distribute resources fairly among users. Irrespective of the distribution policy, it is imperative to know who is requesting a resource, that is, we need to confidently say that any resource request supposed to come from a user is actually coming from them. Symmetrically, we need to ensure that the resource/service that the user believes it is requesting is really the resource/service.³

Question: How do we authenticate that an entity is really the entity it claims to be?

At the heart of any authentication process is a simple idea of shared secrets. Entity A can authenticate entity B if they share a secret no one knows about. For entity A to verify that an entity is B, A only needs to ask for the secret from that entity. If the set of secrets is sufficiently large, it would be virtually impossible for a rogue entity to impersonate B. This mechanism can be even more foolproof if the secret is changed at every authentication.⁴

Kerberos implements this abstraction for hosts connected through an unreliable network. In an unreliable network, we assume the existence of malicious actors who may observe and capture any data packets shared between hosts.

But before we begin building Kerberos itself, we need to build the network model and define few other primitives.

The user AKA the client

The user interacts with the system through a client program. The client abstracts the details of building data packets, sending/receiving packets from other servers, and parsing those packets while gracefully (well, relatively) handling any errors. The client is implemented in the client.py module.

The resource server

I have implemented a ResourceServer class which represents any resource / service that a user is interested to get / use. Our holy grail for this post will be to get this resource from the resource server as a user.

Cryptography

Kerberos utilises a symmetric key cryptography scheme (at least in this formulation). What this means is that any encryption/decryption happens iff the key is known to both parties beforehand. How is the key mutually agreed upon between the two parties? That’s a question we will repeatedly visit through this post.

Initially, I thought I could use XOR encryption for the sake of this toy application. As it turned out, I spent much of my time debugging annoying unicode boundary errors. Worried that I wasn’t building the actual system, I decided to go old-school. And what’s more old-school than good old Caesar cipher? One funny thing about this algorithm is that it’s laughable and easy to break. If you stare long enough at the ciphertext, you can probably guess what the cleartext might be. Be as it may, it serves our purpose well, so we’ll roll with it. I present the pseudo-code for the encryption and decryption routines below. These can be found in the /caesar.py module.

encryption(clear_text, key):
 for each character in clear_text
 find the character in the position [idx(character) + key] % character_set_size
 add this character to the cipher_text string
 return cipher_text string

decryption(cipher_text, key):
 for each character in cipher_text
 find the character in the position [idx(character) - key] % character_set_size
 add this character to the clear_text string
 return clear_text string

Caeser cipher has this nice symmetry property, as you can see. It can easily be broken using classic cryptanalysis techniques like naive brute-forcing.⁵

Enough of this now. Let’s get to the good part.

Version 1 - The first attempt

What is the most basic secret sharing that you can think of?

We can imagine each resource server maintaining a table of tuples (username, password). If I wish to access a resource, I simply present my password, which the resource server authenticates by looking up the table and matching it. This system works but as you can see, it’s dumb. It doesn’t scale well. If there are 1000 users and 100 resources, we already have 100000 records maintained on the network. Any (user,password) update has to be propagated to every resource server. Moreover, this deeply couples authentication and the actual resource sharing processes. We would ideally want to decouple these two steps so that the resource server is only concerned with serving up the resources. That’s good software engineering!

Naive authentication system

Question: Can we do better?

Yes! Let’s create a dedicated authentication_server which maintains a single (username, password) table. Moreover, it also stores a (servername, password) table. For a client, it is sufficient to authenticate to this auth server. Why? Because this auth server issues an auth token - a “proof of authentication”. How does it work? The auth server first lookups the password for the user in its user table and once its satisfied, it created a data packet containing the username (and some other metadata like a network address) and encrypts it using the servername password. The client takes this auth token and presents it along with its username and network address to the resource server. The resource server attempts to decrypt the auth token and match the username and network address.

What exactly happened here? It is important to note that we established two things through this process. When the resource server was able to successfully decrypt the auth token, it was sure that the auth token was issued by the authentication server. Why? Shared secrets! The server password is only known to the auth server and the resource server!⁶ Matching the packet username and other data with the decrypted data. This ensures that the request was made by the same entity that authenticated itself to the auth server and so, must be one who should access to the resource.

version 1

Question: What are the flaws in this system?

Well, no one is stopping me from capturing these tokens and making a request to the resource server posing as someone else on the network. This is somewhat alleviated by including metadata like network addresses assumed un-editable by system users.
Even more concerning is that the client still has to send the password over the network in cleartext! If a malicious agent can capture the user password then its pretty much game over since this is the only piece of information that the auth server uses to authenticate the user.
Moreover, if a client wishes to access another resource, they must authenticate themselves with the auth server again. We would ideally like the “I am a person who has access to XYZ resources, here is the proof” step to be decoupled from “Hey, can I get resource XYZ?” step.

Question: Can you consider modifying the current system to address these issues?

Version 2 - Streamlining and Decoupling

version 2

Let’s address point 2 first. The client doesn’t send the password along with the username while authenticating with the auth server. Remember that the authentication system is symmetric with respect to the parties, which means it can happen on the client as well. So, we somehow need to make the server send the user password without sending the user password. How is it possible? Well, the auth server just sends back the auth token encrypted with the user password. The client attempts to decrypt the packet (and is successful if its a legit user). No one but the user will be able to decrypt the packet and get the auth token.

To address point 3, we will perform another decoupling. We will have two servers - an AuthenticationTokenGrantor server and a ServiceTokenGrantor server, both of which will maintain their own copies of user and service tables. Moreover, we now make these tokens expirable by attaching a time_of_creation and a lifespan to each token.

The ATG server only issues auth_token which are valid for a certain duration. The STG server issues token specific for any resource server on the network if it gets a valid auth token. As you can see, the user only has to authenticate itself to the ATG server once every reasonable interval of time (say, 8 hours). It can always use the auth_token to get service_token from STG and use the service_token to authenticate itself to the resource server.

Question: What are the flaws with this system?

Actually, there is no guarantee that the request to the resource server that contains the service_token actually comes from the user to which the token was issued. Why? Because there is no shared secret between the ATG and the STG.
It is possible for a malicious actor to gain access to the service_tokens and use them to exploit the resource server as long as the tokens have not expired. This is called a “replay attack” .

Let’s fix these now.

Version 3 - Session Keys and Authenticators

version 3

Question: What kind of secret can the ATG and the STG share? And more importantly, how?

The way this works is by the use of finite-lived session keys. The steps are as follows:

The client authenticates itself to the ATG and gets the auth token. The ATG generates an auth_session_key and includes it in the auth_token (This is the STG’s copy of the session key). Moreover, includes this session key with the packet it sends to the client which is encrypts with the user password first, of course.
The client gets the session key and uses it to encrypt another object called an “authenticator” which is basically another piece of info containing the client username and network address. It encrypts this with the session key it just got.
The client sends both the auth_token and the authenticator to the STG. The STG decrypts the auth_token and uses the newly acquired session key to decrypt the authenticator. It then matches the username that came with the packet to the username in the token AND the username in the authenticator. It then issues the service_token to the client. The STG also generates a service-specific session key and includes it in the service_token and the data packet it sends to the client but encrypts it with the auth_session_key before.
The client decrypts the packet, gets the service session key and uses it to build another authenticator for the resource server.
The resource server performs checks analogous to the STG and finally serves the resource to the client.

Question: What did we achieve here?

Well, the authenticator implements the proof that the bearer of the token is really the entity it claims to be. Can you find the shared secrets in this arrangement? Yes, it’s the session keys!

Although I haven’t implemented this, the authenticator objects also have a lifespan, usually around 1-2 minutes. Thus, it becomes very hard for a malicious actor to replay these attacks.

Elegant, isn’t it? ^_^

Conclusion

If you have made it this far, then I must congratulate you! This wasn’t a trivial post by any means. I have left a lot of the details out of this post for the sake of brevity. If you’re interested, feel free to browse the code and read the article which inspired this post.

All diagrams in this post were produced by the author. Kindly write to me if you wish to use them :)

Ideas for improvement

Make the authenticators finite-lived. This is straightforward to implement and will be analogous to how expiration is implemented for the tokens.
Implement token refreshing. I think this will be a nice add-on to have if this system should ever be put into production.
Abstract the client steps. Right now, the communication with ATG (command gat), STG (command ‘gst’), and the resource server (command get) happens separately and explicitly. Ideally, a nice client would hide these away from the user.
Extend the client to manage tokens and sessions for more than one resource. This demo only focuses on one resource on the network model. We would ideally want more than one resource on the server!
(Advanced) Implement an access control layer on top of this Kerberos. I imagine this would involve creating some role abstraction and storing it in the central database for each user and service. Using this abstraction, the STG may deny issuing service_token to the client.

References

Designing an Authentication System: A dialogue in four scenes

Footnotes

1: Please excuse me if you cannot access the webpage. It’s on IITD’s internal network so it might be accessible outside the network.

2: An additional impetus for me to understand Kerberos is because it is the foundational authentication system used by my institute for authentication and identification.

3: This is called “mutual authentication” and it is generally considered a useful property for general-purpose authentication systems.

4: This closely relates to the idea of a one-time pad which is provably unbreakable. If you’re interested, please check any standard cryptography textbook.

5: Highly recommend reading “The Code Book” by Simon Singh. Highly accessibly and fun read. Or you may also try “Gold Bug” by E. A. Poe.

6: If you’re careful, you may ask but how do we know if the decryption was successful? For this reason, the data packet usually also contains the network identifier of the resource server. So, if the resource server finds its name in the packet, it can be sure that the decryption was successful.

Poems for the Lonely Hearts

gs454236@gmail.com (Basil Labib) — Fri, 09 Aug 2024 20:07:40 +0000

I have decided to publish whatever little I was able to write through the summer. I assure you this is neither exhaustive nor sufficient but what meager words I could muster through immense writer’s block and a certain dilapidated and diseased heart, I have put them in here.

If you’re still interested in reading, here is the collection .

The One Where I Was Almost Jailed!

gs454236@gmail.com (Basil Labib) — Thu, 20 Jun 2024 08:51:03 +0530

Reflections on a personal incident that happened a few days back. Due to the nature and peculiarity of the event, I was terrified and confused whether I should publish it or not, hence I have decided to do so.

What Happened

I was added to a Whatsapp group of current and past IITD graduates with the title “General Elections 2024” couple of days before June 4 (the day when the 2024 Lok Sabha Elections results were announced). The purpose of the group was to discuss matters of political and national importance including but not limited to policy efficacy, government criticism, and so on. I knew some people in the group who were my seniors but not everyone. The group gradually grew to a strength of around 100 people.

On June 16th, one of the members of the group, let’s call them X made a few disturbing remarks on the atrocities being inflicted on the Palestinian civilians of Gaza. I was aware from past messages that X was a far right person politically and such remarks are common in such circles . See below.

Since I have been gradually educating myself on the topic of the Israel-Palestine conflict, I felt that X’s remarks were based on misinformation and decided to counter it.

I spent the next hour or so engaged in a verbal debate with X which progressively stopped being a debate due to the depreciating intelligence of the opposition. In a geopolitic debate which would have solely been based on facts and global events, I found myself staring at X’s CBSE English scorecard because they felt that sharing it in the group would establish their debating acumen. I was also offered their history scorecard in order to establish their command over world history (Historians and history scholars are scared after the far right have started using CBSE scoresheet as a way to justify their views).

Me: You have never studied [Palestinian] history. X: Should I send my history marks?

Funnily, NCERT doesn’t cover Israel-Palestine conflict or even any Middle Eastern history in its curriculum. I was dumbstruck as I couldn’t find any logical response to this petty move of sending report cards to a group full of IITians to justify intellectual supremacy. We have collectively failed as a nation to nurture emotional intelligence.

My main point was about the casualties of innocent Palestinian civilians (most of them are women and children ) and how Israel is systematically starving them to death . I equally condemn both Israel and Hamas in their terror activities and do not support terror of any kind whatsoever. But I find it extremely disturbing how a group of Indians justify civilian killings without proper context.

Context for my message.

This group is quick to label any dissenting voice as “terrorist sympathiser” or worse even “terrorist” as if the words have become fashionable to identify anyone with a differing viewpoint. I felt traumatised when I was labelled a terrorist sympathiser by a person with such lowly intelligence as highlighted above. I will reassert myself again: I am a proud Indian and I pledge my allegiance to uphold the integrity of my Constitution. I am an IITian and I plan to pledge my life for the prosperity of my nation. And I feel deeply for any injustice meted out to any innocent group in India or the world.

Are Rights Not Meaningful Anymore?

But one must ask why I have to reiterate my rightful claim to my motherland. Why this sudden alienation to rights that I am an implicit enjoyer of since my birth? One must step into the shoes of an Indian Muslim and understand his helplessness and misery as he must put up with videos of policemen kicking Muslims bowing down in prayer to a fresh new lynching video of a poor Muslim by religious bigots almost daily. As an Indian Muslim, I feel psychologically traumatised and terrified as I question where are the rights that my motherland has granted me?

After the person understood that they won’t be able to “have the last word” as I was more informed than them on the matter, they targeted my religion.

The emoji is Kaa’bah, the most sacred Islamic structure in the world.

And when the entire group condemned them for this utterly depraved behaviour towards a junior, they tried to inadequately cover up as follows:

The group admin kicked X out of the group and we thought that was the end of it.

The Allegations

I was lazing around after offering my Eid prayers the next day when I receive the following DM from X,

Subject: Formal Complaint Regarding Unsolicited Sympathies and Support for Terrorism in Palestine

Dear Basil,

I hope this letter finds you in good health. I am writing to formally address a grave concern regarding your recent unsolicited expressions of sympathy and support towards terrorism in Palestine, as communicated in our official group conversations. These actions are alarming and pose significant concerns regarding national security.

It is imperative to understand the gravity of supporting or expressing sympathy towards terrorism, which is not only against the law but also undermines the safety and security of our nation. Your behavior is not only inappropriate but also potentially dangerous, given the sensitive nature of the subject matter.

In light of the seriousness of this issue, I have lodged a formal complaint with the National Investigation Agency, the local police authorities, and the Director of IIT Delhi. I have attached all relevant official group conversations as evidence to support my complaint.

Given the potential national security implications, I urge you to respond promptly and professionally to any inquiries or requests for information from the investigating authorities. This matter cannot be taken lightly, and your cooperation will be crucial in resolving this issue appropriately.

Please consider this letter as an urgent call to reflect on your actions and understand the severe consequences they could entail. Your prompt attention and adherence to this matter are expected.

Thank you for your understanding and cooperation.

Sincerely,

Along with a link to a post by India Today with the text “For reference”.

Yes! I was being implicated as a terrorist sympathiser, by the person who had single-mindedly praised and chest thumped about the killing of innocent humans. I felt betrayed at that moment. What did the “For reference” stand for? Did it mean that X was showing me what would happen to me if I don’t agree to their views? No, in their eyes, it had stopped being a possibility altogether and turned into a prerogative.

I made up my mind to fight it even if it meant horrible consequences. I had to. It is my birthright and I felt I had done nothing wrong, least of all tried to put points in perspective. I phoned a bunch of seniors who helped me take care of the situation and it died down eventually.

Let’s take a step back and try to analyse what happened. X could not tolerate being bested by me in a perfectly sound debate on a geopolitical issue. The best retort was to illegally and inappropriately frame me as a terrorism sympathiser so as to put mental and psychological pressure on me and to accept his point of view. X is a pass out and I’m interning this summer meaning very well that I do not have the financial means to go on a legal battle.

The Fabric Of Our Nation

This must ring an alarm in the mind of those who still care about the high ideals on which the identity of our nation is founded, not on bigoted religious fervour. The ideals allow for free and unrestrained dialogue and respect and dignity to disciplined and structured conversations. The moment such guarantees are maligned by fanatics like X, we must be warned that the very fabric of our nation is in danger.

What I wonder is: if I had taken his comment on my religion seriously and tried to escalate the matter by complaining to some higher authority, would I have received the same level of attention?

The ideological makeup of an andhbhakt

I spent some time trying to characterise X and their behaviour. I have observed them for a longer time before this episode and have noted their views on various other issues. I think the following are extremely dangerous characters in any human being which promotes instability, strife, and violence.

Zero humility and horribly egotistical - There was not a single conversation when X accepted that they might be wrong. In their eyes, they are always right which is humanly impossible.
Outright rejection of facts - X belongs to a class of people who will accept facts only if it supports their point of view, else just refuse to accept facts. This is unscientific and in contrast to the scientific temperament. I laugh at all of X’s scorecards that they shared.

The first message is by X. The second is by another member of the group. Translation: X: I won’t imagine even quoting facts (to support my views). I will dismiss them. The person: Who can dismiss facts? One can dismiss opinions. Go and learn debating and conversation 101 before becoming a keyboard warrior.

Resort to (direct or indirect) intimidation to crush opposing views - The fact that X implicated a junior student as a “terrorist sympathiser” and complained to NIA is evidence of their audacity and focus on using intimidation and state machinery for false allegations.
Utterly selfish with no regards for others - Almost everyone in the group was in support of the government’s active duty to provide basic healthcare and education to poverty-stricken Indians except X.
(Likely but unconfirmed) Possible maniac, psychopath, and a sadist - Based on limited digital interaction with one individual, hope to collect more data by engaging with more such individuals.

Looking Ahead

The wave of Hindu nationalism is a vicious and horrible political trend . Nationalism alienates other groups and creates social instability which is never conducive for economic growth. Supporters of neoliberalism may be satiated to live in utmost comfort and luxury and ignore the blinding inequality and other social demons that plague our society. But as Gurcharan Das remarks in India Unbound, India is a “wise elephant” and not a “tiger”. It moves slowly but it moves with an assurance and gravitas. Historically, India has accommodated the plights and concerns of everyone and so it will be. Those who think they can gain popularity by playing divisive ideologies are horribly mistaken.

Distillation of "A Circuit for Indirect Object Identification in GPT-2"

gs454236@gmail.com (Basil Labib) — Thu, 16 May 2024 21:23:35 +0530

This is a distillation of the paper “Interpretability in the Wild: A Circuit for Indirect Object Identification in GPT-2 Small” by Wang. et. al. Paper .

Overview

As LLMs continue to prove themselves capable as a general problem solver, they are increasingly being deployed to critical application settings. Thus, it is paramount to understand the algorithms that are implemented by the model in order to reason about the output of a model.

Mechanistic interpretability seeks to discover these algorithms by looking at the constituents of a model and trying to reverse-engineer the functionality of each component based on the observed behaviour of the model.

By modelling an LLM as a graph, subgraphs have been identified in previous work that are most active during the “computation” of a fixed task. This paper finds such a subgraph (called a circuit) in the GPT-2 small (henceforth, GPT-2S) model which successfully computes the Indirect Object Identification (IOI) task. Furthermore, it runs experiments on the individual components of the circuit to assign function to each component, thus completing the analysis of the circuit.

Description of Transformer architecture

We must first understand the GPT-2S transformer architecture .

The GPT-2S is a decoder-only stack of 12 transformer blocks. Each transformer block consists of an attention layer and a standard MLP (Multilayer perceptron). There are also normalisation layers which we can ignore for the purpose of this post.

How next token prediction works in GPT-2S

In inference mode, the model is fed a stream of embedding vectors. For each token in the input prompt, we generate a token embedding (we’ll look at how this is computed later) which forms the residual stream. The residual stream is the fundamental data flow object that passes through the stack of blocks and gets morphed. At the output, we get a probability distribution over the entire vocabulary of words for the model which can be sampled to get the next token.

Parameters of GPT-2S

The vocabulary of a model is built by byte-pair encoding . Starting with the ASCII character set, we pair together most common occurring characters and treat them as new tokens.

Sample vocabulary: [“A”, “B”, … “a”, “b”, …, “ t”, “as”, …., “the”, …, “this”, …]

Any input string is decomposed into tokens by matching it to the vocabulary. The list of tokens is then transformed into a one-hot vector encoding which is a vector of length d_vocab with all entries 0 except the index at which the token is found in the vocabulary list.

Eg input string: “GPT-2 is a model which is capable of” Supposed tokens: [“G”, “P”, “T”, “-”, “2”, “ is”, “ a”, “mod”, “el”, “ whi”, “ch”, “ is”, “cap”, “able”, “ of” ]

This vector is then projected into an embedding vector by multiplying it with the token embedding matrix (W_te) which typically has a much lesser dimension than d_vocab². In case of GPT-2S, d_model = 768.¹

Each attention layer is made of 12 attention heads and each head independently attends to each token. The output of each attention head is an updated residual stream with the added information of how much the current token should copy information from the previous tokens (Intuitively speaking, this step encapsulates the process of providing linguistic context to the model during prediction). The output of the attention layer is simply the sum of these vectors.

The MLP performs a standard forward-feed pass. The output of the final block is transformed into a probability distribution over the vocabulary space by multiplying with the so-called unembed matrix W_ue to get a logits vector over the vocabulary space which is normalised to a probability distribution using softmax. The distribution is then sampled to output the next token.

The GPT-2S model has around 117M parameters as per published data but Jay Alammar found them to be around 124M.

Problem framing

We have fixed our model as a pre-trained GPT-2S model. The paper picks up Indirect Object Identification as its task. It is a sufficiently challenging task while at the same time lending to interpretability on the GPT-2S. Given a sentence like, “When Mary went to meet Paul, Paul gave a flower to”, the next token should be “Mary”. As is evident, predicting the correct token involves correctly identifying the names in the input stream, building a context of names, and not mixing up the subject of the two clauses.

The outlined algorithm as stated in the paper is:

Identify all names in the sentence (Eg: Mary, Paul, Paul)
Remove all names that are duplicated (Paul, in this case)
Output the remaining name.

Circuits and Knockouts

As mentioned before, we think of the model as a computational graph M where nodes are components encountered by the residual stream in the forward pass (attention heads, MLPs, etc.) and edges are interactions between those components (eg: attention, projections, etc.) A circuit C is a subgraph of M which is responsible for some behaviour (such as solving the IOI task).

A knockout can be defined as “switching off” a set of components K and observing the resulting logits in the remaining graph M \ K. One naive way to effect this knockout would be to simply set the activation of those K components to 0 (called zero ablate K). However, 0 is an arbitrary term and hence leads to noisy results in practice. Another strategy is called mean ablation, where we set the activation to some mean activation value across some reference distribution p_ABC (which is different from the distribution sampled for the input namely p_IOI). Thus, we remove the specific information that flowed through that activation but keep the “structure” of activation intact.

Measures of performance

The paper uses two measures to quantity performance of the IOI task

Logit difference: It measures the difference in logit value when the model outputs IO or S respectively. A positive score means the correct name (IO) has higher probability.
IO probability: It measures the absolute probability of the IO token under the model’s predictions.

Discovering circuit for IOI in GPT-2S

The circuit identified to perform this task included 7 classes of attention heads. The 3 major classes corresponding to the algorithm above are:

Duplicate Token Heads
S-inhibition Heads
Name Mover Heads

Moreover, other classes of heads discovered were:

Negative Name Mover Head
Previous Token Heads
Induction Heads
Backup Name Mover Heads

The approach involved starting from the output logits and moving backwards through the model, identifying heads that affect the logits the most by means of causal intervention. In particular, the paper describes path patching in order to identify the path through the model that most actively contributes to the output.

Path Patching

Path patching replaces part of the model’s forward pass with activations from a different input. Let us assume some fixed node h and a subset of paths P emanating from it to set of components R. We take the activations obtained from h on original input for all paths not in P. For paths in P, we replace the original activations with activations from new input drawn from the reference distribution p_ABC. Over many random samples, we measure the average logit difference and hypothesise as follows:

Pathways h -> R that are critical to the model’s computation should result in a large logit difference when patched.

Discovery of circuits and the role of heads

To identify the circuit for IOI, the authors ran path patching on the pathways h -> Logits for each head h at the end position of the token sequence. They identified heads which attend strongly to the IO token. Thus, they were hypothesised to function as Name Mover Heads. Responsible for copying the IO token to the output stream. This claim was verified by checking the correlation between the logit scores and the attention probability on the IO or S token (rho = 0.91, N = 500).

The next question to ask is, which heads affect the Name Mover Heads? The researchers identified S-inhibition heads along the h -> Name Mover Heads pathways. Patching these heads led to greater probability on S (and thus lesser on IO), confirming the fact that these indeed serve as S-inhibition heads.

Two sets of heads were identified to be attending to S-inhibition heads. They were Duplicate Token Heads which attended from S2 to S1. They copied the position of the previous occurrence to the current position. This hypothesis was verified by observing attention patterns on random sequences. A correlation was found between attention probability and presence of a duplicate token in the sequence.

The second set of heads were Induction Heads which attended from S2 to S1+1th token (Thus, being able to output [B] if it observes a pattern like [A] [B] … [A]). Along with Previous Token Heads, which copies the information of [A] to [B]’s stream, thus allowing Induction heads to output [B] when it observes [A] as the last token.

Backup Name Mover Heads: When after knocking out the Name Mover Heads, the model performed the task satisfactorily, indicating presence of redundancy in the head’s functions. The researchers identified 8 such heads which showed diverse behaviour in the presence of Name Mover Heads. They hypothesised that the model learnt these heads to become robust to dysfunctional parts.

Experimental metrics

We let f(C(X); X) denote the logit difference between S and IO token in the circuit C. Moreover, we define F(C) = E[f(C(X); X)] over p_IOI, which is essentially average logit difference over many samples drawn from the distribution p_IOI.

Similarly, F(M) = E[f(M(X); X)] denotes the expected logit difference over the whole model.

Even after the circuit has been identified, are we sure that this model satisfactorily describes the model’s internal representation to solve the task? The researchers validated the circuit over three metrics:

faithfulness to the original circuit
completeness
minimality

Faithfulness measures how similar is C’s performance to M’s performance, that is, how small is | F(M) - F(C) |. In the paper, C achieved 87% of M’s performance.

Completeness means how similar does C remain to M under all possible subsets of knockouts. As the entire subset space is exponential, the researchers resorted to samping.

Minimality focused on ensuring that each node v in C contributes to the task, that is, for each node v in C, there exists a set K such that | F ( C \ (K U {v}) ) - F ( C \ K ) | is maximum.

Limitations

By reading the paper, I could observe the following limitations:

The analysis is heavily dependent on manual labour and “wishful thinking”. Thus, it is model-specific and the extent of generalisation to other models has to be backed by a theoretical basis. Moreover, due to the nature of analysis, it does not yield to analysis of bigger models.
The paper focused on one specific task. What kinds of heads will we observe for other classes of tasks? Will it be possible to automate the analysis for other classes of problems too? Moreover, will we be able to reason about every single algorithm by means of this analysis?
Intuitively, the metrics for stating that a discovered circuit performs the task as expected seem reasonable. But they involve a search over an exponential space which again is not computationally tractable.

Footnotes

1: In reality, another vector called the positional embedding vector is computed which encodes the “locality information” of language using another matrix called W_pe and both vectors are added. But for simplicity, we have skipped that as it won’t affect our discussion.

2: The d_vocab parameter can be anything really but the Neel Nanda toy implementation sets it to 50257. The relation between d_vocab and d_model can be an active area of research!

A personal take on Gan’s "The positive functions of poverty"

gs454236@gmail.com (Basil Labib) — Tue, 14 May 2024 22:28:24 +0530

Sometime back, a friend shared a paper with me which had an interesting title “The positive functions of poverty” by Herbert J Gans, a German-born American sociologist. I got the time to read it yesterday.

Broadly speaking, this paper takes a functional approach of justifying that poverty exists because it serves certain functions in a society and to eliminate poverty would prove disastrous to the society as a whole unless other functionally equivalent processes are created to fill in the gaps.

This article is my criticism of part 3 of the paper which lists the positive functions of poverty and attempts to explain why I disagree with Mr. Gans.

Moreover, the debate about welfare–and about proposed substitutes such as the negative income tax and the Family Assistance Plan - has emphasised the impact of income grants on work incentive, with opponents often arguing that such grants would reduce the incentive of - actually, the pressure on - the poor to carry out the needed dirty work if the wages therefore are no larger than the income grant.

This is an inherently cruel statement to make. The only possible end state of a society built on such class stratification and hatred is complete societal collapse. This would broadly play out as follows: Increased inequality would lead to more sociological stratification of society (“us” versus “them”) leading to more civil unrest culminating in a civil war².

Why not believe in a world where, through a popular collaborative effort, we uplift the utility of the less-affluent class¹, enable class mobility to encourage more literate hands joining the workforce which translates to more brains capable enough to work on technological advancements? This would easily resolve Gan’s contention of “Who will do the dirty work?” by applying technology and automation as well as boost organic economic growth and productivity of the society as a whole.

Second, the poor subsidise, directly and indirectly, many activities that benefits the affluent. Of course, the poor do not actually subsidise the affluent. Rather, by being forced to work for low wages, they enable the affluent to use the money saved in this fashion for other purposes. The concept of subsidy used here thus assumes belief in a “just wage”.

By saying this, the affluent admit that there is some “just wage” that the poor should be paid but are denied by the rich. This is equivalent to stealing from a group that is not capable of standing up for its rights because social conditions set up the affluent are such that they cannot afford to engage in activities that would enable them to do so; such as sending their kids to school, investing capital, or accessing healthcare.

Why is the idea of a “just wage” not justified? Would it be justified if the affluent do not get the “wage” they want from their employer (who I can safely assume to be a member of the affluent class)? Thus, what we see is a double-standard setup by a tiny section of the society that have colluded together to circulate wealth and resources amongst themselves and to keep a strong hold over any attempts of redistribution of wealth to less affluent groups.

In addition, as Barry Schwartz pointed out (personal communication), the low income of the poor enables the rich to divert a higher proportion of their income to savings and investment, and thus to fuel economic growth.

Why does the affluent assume that only they are capable of making sound financial decisions which will result in the grand economic growth of the society? Who has given this right solely to the affluent? What will the less affluent do if they find themselves in possession of excess wealth? The affluent reason that since they have never had so much wealth before, they will be bad managers of wealth and end up squandering it. But what will, in fact, happen is to the contrary. Having a much stronger understanding of the value of money, they will be more cautious on how to spend it. They will make more informed investment decisions. Unlike the affluent who haven’t ever really seen the hardships and only days of vanity and degradation of the senses.

(Paraphrased) They consume the refuse of society, thereby lessening food wastage.
(Paraphrased) Gives employment to police, prostitutes, cheap liquor shops, etc.

These claims point towards a degradation of the poor, to treat them as the “other”, and to reduce them to something lesser than humans. This is, in stark violation, of the right of every human to be treated justly and in its present form, would not gain much popular support³.

One more point I wish to make in the passing, perhaps it’s more subtle: how the author seems to be welcoming the evils of the society as a feature of the existence of poverty.

…the poor also assist in the upward mobility of the nonpoor, for, as Goode has pointed out (1967, p. 5), “the privileged . . . try systematically to prevent the talent of the less privileged from being recognized or developed.” By being denied educational opportunities or being stereotyped as stupid or unteachable, the poor thus enable others to obtain better jobs.

This seems to be like an intentional twisting of words to suit the purpose but there may be some truth to it. And such reasoning can only come from groups that have only ever observed privileged upbringing and hatred and contempt towards anyone who even remotely dares to threaten their “social position”.

the poor have played an important role in shaping the American political process; because they vote and participate less than other groups, the political system has often been free to ignore them. This has not only made American politics more centrist than would otherwise be the case, but it has also added to the stability of the political process.

Perhaps, the irony in the above statement is not lost on the reader. How is America democratic, then, if such ideas are accepted as normative? The least that we can do is redefine the word democracy to avoid any further misconceptions with respect to its usage.

Overall, it seems like a paper written by an academic sitting comfortably in a pristine office perhaps with glass doors away from the heat and troubles of the underprivileged and the less fortunate of the society and the hardships that they face on a day-to-day basis. While building logical chains of reasoning, statements like “The poor provide X to the affluent” is so common that they completely miss the social and personal misery and unhappiness that it causes. The analysis does not take that into account at all and simply treats the two groups as inanimate objects where the experiences of these groups are somehow reduced to features of these groups. This fact itself should be alarming.

My personal views as noted above, may seem to point towards believing in the realisation of a world order with no poor people but I admit, that is impossible. What I believe in is an active collaborative popular movement where the control of a person’s life lies with the person. An attempt is made to relieve the less-affluent of their shortcomings by the more affluent. Rabindranath Tagore’s poem comes to mind,

Where the clear stream of reason has not lost its way
Into the dreary desert sand of dead habit
…
Into that heaven of freedom, my Father, let my country awake.
~When the Mind is Without Fear, 1910

Footnotes

1: I detest using the term “lower” as it invokes spatial ideas of the “upper” class being more dominant somehow.

2: And then we can blame the sociologists and the economists for doing sloppy jobs.

3: This is analogous to how racists, pro-Nazis, or anti-semites will be looked down upon in most progressive societies.

What Every IIT Boy Needs To Know: Building Emotional Intelligence

gs454236@gmail.com (Basil Labib) — Mon, 13 May 2024 07:45:14 +0530

Open fire!
On my burning heart
I’ve never been lucky in love
My defences are down
A kiss or a frown
I can’t survive on my own
~Send Me An Angel, Real Life

Disclaimer: I am not a misogynist or a misandrist. All arguments presented in this article are either based on personal experiences or communicated by someone else.

Prologue

This boy was friends with a girl and spent time together - doing assignments, that kind of thing. Then he went on to narrate this peculiar incident one evening when he texted her to meet up for a chat as he was feeling under the weather. She texted back that she couldn’t because she had to study. Later that night, he spotted her along with other boys at a club while scrolling through Instagram.

Some of you might dismiss this incident by saying that this is an outlier rogue behaviour and girls are generally not rude¹ and I might agree but this anecdote underscores a major systemic trend that I wish to address in this article.

A feature, not a bug

The following observation has often been pointed out by both critics and supporters of the IIT system, often to the point of being touted as a “problem” of the IITs in popular media - namely, the skewed gender ratio ². But I consider this a feature of the IIT system, not a bug.

The following is the total male-female count over the past four years as per official annual reports released by IIT Delhi:

Year	M	F
2022-23	8734	2812
2021-22	8730	2883
2020-21	8113	2527
2019-20	7615	2085

These numbers have a profound effect on the psychological and social tendencies of both genders within the confines of the IIT threshold. Drawing from economic principles, it makes the girls more scarce⁴. For every girl, there are around 3 boys within IIT and it creates an artificial imbalance in how the two genders interact.

The poor boy

The boys are generally what one would typically call a nerd in popular terminology - socially inept but extremely diligent and focused. But what’s more? Sufficiently disillusioned by ill-founded notions of IIT being a magical gateway to a happy and secure life, they are also constantly fed the imminent fate of their romantic life, being in an IIT effectively means butchering that dream.

They google “gender ratio in IIT XYZ” and are greeted by some of the dreadful numbers above. Being so intensely pre-conditioned by society to believe that the path of romance is forever closed to them, once they land up in IIT and discover that the constant oversight of their elders no more, the few paths that do exist, begin to seem exceedingly enticing.

What does it lead to?

Even if we assumed perfect pairing and no external pairing, there would still be around 60% of the IIT population who would be single. This still seems fine unless I frame it as follows: 60% of the male population are single, whereas 0% of the female population are single.

As disheartening as it might sound but this fact coupled with the conditioned belief of most boys to believe that “getting a bandi” in IIT is some kind of feat leads to deep-seated enmity of the girls among the boys - a fact most impressively brought up in the subtler conversations within closed boys groups (Around 2AM in boy’s hostel wings work best); the topic of these closed group discussions will irrevocably be either girls or substances, the arguments might get more nuanced as one progress through the years but the general character of degrading the female remains constant. I was personally left in awe wondering how these men would go on to lead the country and become leaders of tomorrow. What kind of respect and tolerance have we imbued and inculcated in these formative years?

One might dismiss this as a troubled conscience of the abuser but that would be irresponsible. Because 80% of the IIT population is male and such malformed misogynistic sentiments feed into the institutional machineries and guide the ethos that we pass on to our juniors.

As the girls get to know that they are wanted, their behaviour undergoes a significant change as well. There have been instances of girls calling out for help while playing on the emotional expectations of someone else, generally a boy. I have personally been approached twice with this intention and I have respectfully turned them down while pointing out what I suspected was happening to me. But I’m afraid not everyone has the kind of eye to look through such malfeasance. What we have is a group of boys who are almost tied on a leash to some girl who holds unreasonable control over their lives. This is what I call the lapdog gang.

One observes interesting things if one is looking for them, specifically how most boys and girls are pretending - boys are pretending that they are happy and girls that they care at all - in a self-defeating beauty contest that mostly ends up hurting both the parties.

Interestingly, there exists a divisive social dynamic between boys who are in a relationship ³ versus those who don’t. In particular, we observe a growing tendency to appease the female group at the cost of growing more distant from other boys. Specifically, residents of Saptagiri and Dronagiri will be able to back me up on this.

What is the fundamental issue?

Boys seem to have lost the sensibility of critical thinking and self-awareness. They have either sunk into wasting time getting laid (those who can) or wasting time lamenting that they can’t. This increasingly growing group ends up becoming a nuisance to both boys and girls around them. More often than not, a text from the girl is an invitation for conversation, and not to become romantically involved. In short, boys seem to be lacking emotional intelligence².

No one ever talks about becoming excellence or likeable. A self-reinforcing cycle of scrolling through Instagram and feeling bad about expectations or feeling jealous. But where is the effort to become competent?

Emotional Intelligence not part of the syllabus

In an increasingly ideologically volatile youth generation, the question of “Who is your role model?” is met by depraved answers to the likes of Instagram influencers - a growing fleet of equally non-critical youth who portray or embody a reality we all crave, thereby hacking into the innate human tendency of desire. There is nothing more scandalous than the degradation of the true capacity of the human spirit!

Read! Read! Goddamnit Read!

We find a generation that is increasingly reaching out to so-called “self-helps” and shying away from attempting to understand the details of things. We want to swallow the chewed food of someone else because it’s easier. We must intervene when we find ourselves cutting corners. Self-awareness is an indispensable asset in understanding when one is being fooled or deceived. It is a gradual process, not an innate talent!

How do engineers solve any problem? What’s the first step? Well, they observe the problem. Then, find a model to approximately represent the problem. Then, the attempt is to extract some characteristics of the model based on some constraints. Well, life is the biggest optimisation problem!

But how much have we observed it? How much have you observed it? Reading gives one access to experiences that are spatially and temporally inaccessible otherwise. One cannot live the experiences of a Vietnam soldier or understand the nuances of Greek social order but the reader can!

What I’m getting at is simple: The prevalent boys mentality is a product of accepting mediocrity. It is a product of accepting the patch of reality illuminated by the narrow pencil of light that leaks through the keyhole and never daring to open the door itself.

How many students on campus today can engage in meaningful debate regarding what’s going on in the world or the country?⁵ As a community, we are unable to process complex emotions like empathy or abstract ideas of collectivism and community because we lack context. And then when something unwanted happens, we all feel sad (or pretend, I don’t know) and subtly shift the blame to somebody else to subconsciously feel safer, better.

Points to ponder for the boys

Why would any girl want to spend time with you? What do you expect to offer apart from being able to solve a bunch of optimisation problems on paper?

If I may be allowed to enjoy this digression, one must realise a better understanding of love; one that is not selfish but so utterly disjoint from the realisation of personal or self-pleasure that no matter what happens, it doesn’t end up affecting them at all. I think this is required in general. Not professing celibacy or resignation to a strict abstentious hermit lifestyle but to work towards deserving things rather than running after things.

Parting Thoughts

That’s the way to build a more stable and pleasant society. When people are more humble in expectations and know how to deal with failure when it strikes - that builds resilience and character.

Trivia

Starting today and inspired by Neel Nanda, I’ll try to blog everyday. I hypothesise that increased output will help me to streamline my thoughts and more importantly, to incentivise me to think in the first place. I’m afraid I might be becoming intellectually lazy. Since these posts will have fewer hours put in them, expect them to be unpolished and more “raw”.

Footnotes

1: In fact, I’ll also speculate that some of you might argue that the girl’s behaviour is justified because it is “her choice” and I wholly agree with you. But at the same time, you have miserably failed to see the problem.

2: Both the “singles” and the “doubles” are equally deprived of this intelligence.

3: Or the “playboys” who are maximising on how often they can get laid. Question: Is it a bad measure to quantify love? How do I know if I have won? Surely, we all seek pleasure and life is finite so maximising pleasure should be one’s primary objective. Only that love doesn’t yield to such rational simplification. And therein lies the problem. Ah, the eternal problem.

4: At the risk of being horribly understood wherein I seem to be hinting towards some kind of commodification of girls - like watches or cars but I’m not, it just explains my point better.

5: Not one person in my three years of experience.

Why Do Good Students Get Poor Marks

gs454236@gmail.com (Basil Labib) — Sun, 05 May 2024 23:38:24 +0530

Sometime back, in one of the professor-student meetings, I raised the issue of rampant cheating during exams only to be frowned upon by my peers who let out a disinterested sigh of disgust. Surely one would expect students to support the issue of cheating? It turned out that students who perceived cheating to be a problem were in a minority. That is because the number of good students, by definition, is small.

This curious incident (which I’ll come back to) made me wonder about the modern machinery of teaching, the ethics of learning, and morality in general.

The title of this article seems paradoxical, doesn’t it? How can good students get poor marks? Aren’t they, by definition, supposed to be high scorers? Not quite. There is a difference between being good and being a good scorer. This is the crux of this article.

Two processes

One has been conditioned to believe, through societal norms, that cheating is bad. Not necessarily. It is bad for people who don’t cheat. Because it shifts the curve to the right inadvertently hurting those who are honest. There is a delicate relation between one’s grade and the “learning” itself. And I want to make a distinction between the two processes:

Learning process - wherein we explore the process by which one learns
Evaluation process - by which someone finds out how much someone has learnt

The evaluation process is a proxy to measuring the learning outcome for a student. However, the current evaluation process is outdated and incompetent to be any good. This is because students quickly learn to optimise for the evaluation process and not the learning process. What part of the syllabus is most likely to come in the exam? How much should I score in the next exam to maintain this CGPA? - these are the kind of reasoning that replaces the learning process. This is, of course, Goodhart’s Law in action.

But is it bad, you might ask. Not really. As long as students are optimising for marks and ensuring that they are learning the “most important concepts” and the evaluators are sure to give more weightage to such topics, on average, the students will have a pretty decent idea of the topic. But is this a suitable arrangement in one of the best schools in the country? How can IITians pursue excellence if all they care about is keeping their heads afloat just above the average?

To cheat or not to cheat

My plight was addressed by some of the most senior professors in my department and I felt that I had done a good thing for the long-term integrity of the learning process in IITD. Even if it made me unpopular among my peers (they are still kids), I expected the “adults” to understand the problem. They will, right?

It’s been a semester and no action has been taken by the department. Not a word or even an acknowledgement of the problem apart from the lip service in that meeting. The cheating continues.

Why was no action taken? One of the reasons might be that it is simply too hard to catch rogue students or it places an “unnecessary” burden on the department’s logistical machinery. That is true, it is cumbersome but I refuse to accept that as a valid reason for dereliction. If the department doesn’t acknowledge and address such a problem then who will?

I think the faculty’s disinterest stems from being unable to identify with the problems that students face. There are over 35 students with internships in my department in a batch of around 90. That’s less than 50%. It is hard to quantify the insecurity and uncertainty that the have-nots have to live with as they see their peers preparing to leave for their internships.

Competency ≠ CGPA

How does competency, which is what one would expect help these wunderkinds to bag an internship, relate to CGPA? Because companies treat CGPA as a good proxy for competency! A faulty proxy, yet again!²

The precedence of the CGPA being an important social indicator for competency further feeds the “utilitarian” motive behind cheating and amplifies the problem, as noted by Prof. Abhilash Jindal¹.

But why are students so strongly motivated to work in a company? Because we have been taught to regard an employee’s life as a model for a bright future. Instead of resilience and how to behave in times of crises, the constant dread of not being employed after graduation is drilled into our heads from a young age. Being jobless after graduation is seen as a laughable taboo, even a mark of being useless.³

Are the companies not aware? Surely, over a long period of time, they should be able to identify that CGPA is a bad proxy for competency and thus, seek better metrics? Yes, but there are constraints. Some of my friends in the placement cell on campus told me how there are once over 100 applications for 2 open positions in a company.⁴ Companies have to resort to automation. They can no longer individually assess each application. The process has lost the human touch. It has become more brutal, more cold like the steel edge of a knife. And I do not over-dramatise. It is routine for companies to reject students who have low CGPA.⁵

A pitiful mentality

But do 100 students really want to apply to that company or is it simply an act of desperation? It’s the latter. The fear of not getting an internship or a placement and not “sealing the deal” is so great that it tramples over common sense and undermines self-confidence. Am I to believe that the brightest kids in the country are unable to identify the intersection of their interests and skill-sets that they have to resort to “get atleast something” mentality? A pitiful mentality for an IITian, indeed!

This miserable attitude arises because these kids are not well-learned. They have simply not invested the time required to truly understand a concept, to cover their course material. They personally know that given the chance to prove their merit in a company of their choice, they will fail because all those grades that show up on their grade sheet are not a product of their merit (as it ideally should) but a product of cheating the system and feeling good about it. Thus, a merit matching process is turned into a probabilistic circus leading to unhappy students and unhappy employers as they work in a company that neither wants them nor vice-versa.

Paradise Lost?

We have examined a problem and identified three stakeholders - the student, the institute, and the employers. We have also seen the intricate dynamic that exists between these elements. How can we make it better?

The easiest way to make the situation better would be to change the metric: companies stop using GPA during recruitment. Students will stop perceiving GPA as a “valuable asset” and hence, the integrity of the learning process will be preserved!

Only that this is a utopic impossibility. Sorting a spreadsheet on the basis of CGPA might seem like an insanely attractive option when there are 500 applicants and then discarding the bottom 450.

A tongue-in-cheek solution might be to pick the students ranging from 100 to 200 on that list, they are the most sincere, honest, and truthful folks - exactly the traits that you desire in a loyal and abiding intern at your company.

Jokes aside, where are the good students? What do I mean by good? The way I define good comes dangerously close to how PG defines nerds but there are differences. This is one place where I feel my ideas parallel PG’s. Good students, at least in an IIT, are that renegade group of rag tags that are in a minority, pushed to the fringes of the social popularity contest, silently observing and experimenting and failing and trying again. The inner mind of a good student is a constant battle between utilitarianism and morality.

In the absence of forces or systems that kindle curiosity and learning, it becomes really difficult for this tiny group of curious creatures to learn. The institution needs to take steps to nurture them before they turn to other things leaving the college with a distaste for their unwelcoming experiences here.

Trivia and Personal Reflections

The idea for this post popped into my head during one of my end-semester examinations. Evidently, I didn’t have much to write on the paper (!) As I saw a line up of seniors suddenly in dire need to use the lavatory, I pondered on why I don’t start cheating just like them and start getting good grades. Why do I have such a strong moral obligation? And to whom? In whose eyes am I trying to be morally upright? Mine? Nonsense.

Footnotes

1: Great prof, I learnt OS from him. Soft-spoken but evidently has great ideas.

2: Then the have-nots start saying things like “I’m not good enough. Probably it’s my fault somewhere”. I get terribly upset when people underestimate themselves unconsciously because that’s lost potential for something fantastic.

3: The constant reminder of financial security as a major life goal has been drilled into their heads growing up in a household by parents who have lived their youths in the uncertainty of the tumultuous 70s and the liberalisation drama that it brought (I’m one of them).

4: In general, there has been an increase in the number of applications for every company.

5: Had some very interesting and insightful discussion on scale versus well-being with a senior IIT Delhi professor. But I’ll save that for a later post.

Year in Books: 2023

gs454236@gmail.com (Basil Labib) — Sun, 21 Apr 2024 00:49:41 +0530

On The Road | Jack Kerouac

Publishing of Jack Kerouac’s “On the Road” is a pivotal moment in the recognition and propagation of the so-called American Beat generation of 1940s. The Beats are difficult to define but loosely refer to the bad body of hobos, bums, and con men who were a product of the Depression of the 30s. Young, promising, and full of dreams but without a penny in pocket. As Jack so eloquently puts it, “All he needed was one wheel on his hand and four wheels on the road”. And that is a lovely definition of what this book is all about. It is rich and rich with experiences and stories that will never make a conversation go boring at dinner time and so full of sadness and melancholy at the same time. Told from the perspective of Jack’s alter ego, Sal Paradise, a wannabe writer from New York who befriends a rapturous Beat of the generation, Dean Moriarty, modelled after his friend, Neal Cassidy, the book is a wild account of what it means to be Beat and lost and still somehow find a way. They escape on daring adventures and hitchhike around the American wilderness from coast to coast, meeting old friends, making new ones, conning people, and making sure to make the most of their limited lives that are going by. Kerouac holds back nothing and there’s everything from whores and sex to drugs, and parties, and arrests and the law and brilliant descriptions of America that would make any lacklustre soul quiver with curiosity.

On a personal note, I accompanied the book with a map of the US and found myself staring at it and wondering about all those little nameless towns that were not marked on it and the little stories people would tell there and the adventures people would have on the road. As Sal said, the “road is life” and as Dean proclaimed, “we must make time”!

PS: I wonder if there is an Indian equivalent for the same but I highly doubt it and perhaps, there is a need for one and perhaps, it is time for the Indian youth to wake up to that inner call of the wilderness after all.
The Kite Runner | Khaled Hosseini

“The Kite Runner” is Khaled Hosseini’s debut novel which deals with the plights and concerns of Afghanistan. Hosseini, himself taken citizenship in the US and working as a doctor, may perhaps have been the first to draw the international attention of nation states to the condition, massacre, and oppression in Afghanistan via his riveting and heart-wrenching fictions that, undoubtedly, draw from real as well as personal experiences.

To read “The Kite Runner” after “A Thousand Splendid Suns” felt like flipping the pages of a diary backwards. When one starts writing, they are less nuanced and more reckless. In ATSS, Hosseini presents an extremely layered story with vivid details. I felt that layered nuance lacking in TKR which is forgivable given it is his debut and I read them in the wrong order.

But do not be misled into assuming that the book doesn’t pack a punch. Hosseini may have been frivolous with language and structure at places but occassionally, just occassionally, he would write a sentence that would suck the life out of me, make me close the book, take a deep forceful breath to rebalance myself, and ponder. He doesn’t fail to jerk tear off of you merely by his command of word and his gift as an exceptional storyteller.

It sure took me a while to read TKR. The last of his book remains to be read.
Pygmalion | George Bernard Shaw

I wrote a blogpost [here][7].
Mrs. Warren’s Profession | George Bernard Shaw
Sputnik Sweetheart | Haruki Murakami

Hmmm meh. Personally, I am more of a realist and Murakami’s writing about fantasy and supernormal phenomena simply didn’t make the cut. I felt like puking to be honest (and no offense to the person). I liked Kerouac’s OTR much more simply because of its raw realism.

Okay, rant over. SS is a fantastical love triangle essentially. Without a resolution, it tells us the beginning and the middle of how two love stories came into being and never really took off. I think the lack of an ending like one of those Romantic novels is perhaps the only bit of realism that I could relate too. Also, to give credit when it’s due, I liked his monologue ramblings especially those by the first person narrator. He asks some good questions there. A mediocre read overall. Perhaps, Norwegian Woods have been better. I don’t know.
How The World Works | Noam Chobsky

This is supposed to be Noam Chobsky’s interviews and excerpts edited together in a thematic fashion but the format somehow didn’t resonate with me :/

A real eye opener and a valuable book with a strong anti-capitalist flavour. But interesting doesn’t endorse or propose any alternative political system/ideology. I guess any piece of text suffers from the bias of the author and the subject matter itself, as in it is impossible to write anything without a bias so I get it.

I really liked that it correlated political development with real life historic events and doesn’t shy from reporting atrocities, torture, and state terrors (sometimes vividly so). I wanted to read something like this so yeah. I wonder if there is a complementary text for Indian political and economic development.
The Fellowship of the Ring (LOTR #1) | J. R. R. Tolkien

Such maginificent imagination and creativity. Tolkien was rightly a man of many letters, such elegance and mastery seldom found in men of today.
The Stranger | Albert Camus

“Mother died today. Or, maybe, yesterday; I can’t be sure.”

These are the opening lines of the Nobel Laureate Albert Camus’ short story The Stranger, a beautifully crafted exploration of morality and social behaviour.

We follow the protagonist, a nihilist, non-conformist who doesn’t seem to take interest in anything, one with a volatile demeanour and his blossoming romance with his girlfriend. Things take a wrong turn after he commits a murder in a moment of passion and is consequently tried in a court and ultimately sentenced to death.

TS doesn’t pull any punches and lands perfectly, each word serves its purpose lending a grim picture, taking us on a ride, and expressing fearlessly what Camus wanted to say. I absolutely enjoyed reading this. Can reread.
Waiting for Godot | Samuel Beckett

Samuel Beckett’s Absurdist tour de force, “Waiting for Godot” opens with the recurrent idea “Nothing to be done.” - an idea that forms one of the major themes of the play which touches upon other things like mortality, purpose of life, spirituality, and human companionship.

Personally, I felt that the magic of Godot lies in its ability to make us realise so much by telling us so little. In its grosteque setting, there’s two people, Vladimir and Estragon who are waiting for a person named Godot and contemplating life and everything else. There’s absurdity, there’s deadpan dialogues, there’s humour even. Reading Godot is unlike other contemporary plays because one has to pause and really think about what was just said and it sends people into long-drawn thought-escapades.

Godot is a reflection of the realist human society, where there are no serendipity, no accidents, only a monotonous life that is akin to a prison. That’s how Estragon must have felt when he said,

“Nothing happens, nobody comes, nobody goes, it’s awful.”

Or, his whimsical request to which I’m pretty sure we all can resonate at some level,

“Don’t touch me! Don’t question me! Don’t speak to me! Stay with me!”

And this cheeky dialogue towards which I am personally biased a bit,

VLADIMIR: It’s the start that’s difficult.
ESTRAGON: You can start from anything.
VLADIMIR: Yes, but you have to decide.
The Martian | Andy Weir

The Martian is essentially a survival manual for the scenario when I get stranded on Mars. I absolutely loved the level of detail and scientific accuracy in the book. That really added on to keeping me engaged and wanting to know what happened next. Weir didn’t make it easy though, you actually had to think what would happen given the parameters he just described and it was fun to imagine a survival trip on the planel of the God of War. Under the tantalising chain of events though, Weir also weaves a thrilling story of the triumph of human spirit and of an indomitable spirit. Oh, also humour definitely helps.

I watched the movie a really long time ago but even then I can recall how deep an impression it made on me. I had to kill time over an exceptionally boring weekend and found this book in one of my friend’s stack. Oh well, relived those memories.

Passing The Baton: Experiences of an Editor

gs454236@gmail.com (Basil Labib) — Sat, 23 Mar 2024 01:29:33 +0530

Journalism without a moral position is impossible. Every journalist is a moralist. It’s absolutely unavoidable. A journalist is someone who looks at the world and the way it works, someone who takes a close look at things every day and reports what she sees, someone who represents the world, the event, for others. She cannot do her work without judging what she sees.

~Marguerite Duras, 1997.

After I became one of the chief editors at BSP a year ago, I wrote a private blogpost on my impression of it. The idea was to write another post at the end of the tenure and see what changed after serving it for another year to the best of my abilities.

This is that post¹. I have been procrastinating this post since January, slowly cherishing the diminishing hours for what I knew was inevitably nearing me - the end of my tenure. I opened the group and there it was: the official announcement of recruitment for the next team. “About time”, I thought to myself and fired up my word processor.

Baby steps

One of the first realisations that hit me as a chief editor was if I called a meeting then I was in-charge of it. If five people showed up, they would be expecting me to talk sense else I would be wasting six people’s time. I started preparing for my meetings, which kept me on my toes always, and projects afloat. Assignments and deadlines didn’t matter - if there’s work, it had to be done even if it meant going to bed at 3 AM. A team depended on what I did.

Delays

Delays are an inevitable part of BSP projects. It’s beyond any control - techie may get sick, journo may have an assignment deadline, professor doesn’t show up, design was bad, and so on; things go bad because chief eds cannot control all parameters of the environment they operate in. But I started observing patterns. Things can be made better if delays can be built into the schedule. I started making two timelines for projects - one that would be a lower bound of all things considered and a secret more realistic one. The target would then be to complete the project somewhere between these two expected times. This is how I kept my projects on track (for the most part) and completed them on time.

Voice of the campus?

Historically, BSP has been seen as a body that caters to a select few students and a narrow set of ideologies. A brief review of previous BSP publications indicated a severe shortage of coverage of student problems from all communities on campus. There may be other reasons for it but to me it seemed to stem from the lived experiences of the students who lead BSP and how those experiences were not inclusive of all that existed on campus. Being realistic, it is not possible to live through the experiences of (say) PwD student in IIT, but the sad part was that there was no attempt in BSP to try to understand and empathise with experiences other than their own.

Where is the information?

Someone rightfully told me that what BSP lacks is a network of covert informants. It was comical when members of BSP got to know about events on campus through non-BSP people. So, I started out building that network. A network built on trust. I knew it would be a very slow and steep climb but one cannot cite that reason and not start climbing at all! I started reaching out to people and just talked and listened. A number of earlier publications or attempts of publication (The room space issue publication, for example) were rooted in this idea - to build trust by being an accessible and vocal body.

Death of a child

Inquirer is BSP’s flagship journalistic magazine. Every edition tackles some “serious” issue pertinent to the student community. I really wanted to cover caste-based discrimination on campus and set out racking my head on how to go about doing it; it would be a very extensive project with multiple pieces that would have to come together in a grand crescendo. I started out educating myself about statistics and fairness and the application of ideas learnt in the class to a real social context. I had a team of ten dedicated, enthusiastic freshly recruited journalists working on the project. We met professors, interviewed members of the community, and started designing an extensive survey. I have a habit of working in silence so I don’t think many people noticed the amount of time and effort I put into this project; but sure enough, people who did notice realised the scale of the project.

It was little things like this that kept me going in the two month long effort that involved numerous interviews, extensive literature review, and multiple iterations of the survey itself. We released the form on September 6th IIRC and that’s when it was taken down. I got a call from a journalist at The Hindu and before I knew it, we were national news; on the front page of The Hindu .

The next few days went in anticipation (Will they allow it?), contemplation (What happens now?), and introspection (What have I done wrong?), a fight for what we stood for, and a dwindling hope that Inquirer would be resurrected. I submitted a 10 page long report on how we did what we did (thanks to my habit of documenting everything, this was a breeze) and we appealed to the Director. In the end, we lost. Inquirer was written-off after false hopes of a collaboration with the SC/ST cell. The hardest part was breaking the news to the team. I remember calling them for a Google meet and having a heartfelt conversation with them; some of them were sad, some were angry. Personally, I think we were not understood and even when we tried to open a channel of communication with the conflicting body, we were not duly listened to. It felt like the death of my child - who I had nurtured and nourished for three months.

Idealism vs realism

I must admit that back at home I was shielded from ideas of communal dissonance that existed between in the north. I have always lived in harmony with my non-Muslim friends who respected me and looked at me as their equals. Coming from a place where merit takes front-seat, it was a cultural shock when I landed up in Delhi and was exposed to the kind of hatred and misunderstanding that people harbour in their hearts on the basis of someone’s identity. I mean, I learnt about religious slurs that are used against Muslims here in Delhi, after twenty years of my existence. No doubt, these were foreign ideas that I had to deal with and honestly, I had little guidance. Stereotypes about certain groups abound and are apologetically used in conversations and narratives. Maybe, that is one reason why being a part of BSP has been so important to me - to make people realise the existence of viewpoints different from theirs and maybe give them an avenue to cultivate the emotional intelligence to accept and respect that.

To live for others, one step at a time

I was scrolling through Vox IITK’s insta page totally not hunting for ideas when I came across a “How the Mess functions” report. Perhaps we can do one on the IITD mess system also? I envisioned it to be a simple report on how the mess workers are paid and what the wage model is, annual increments and all. I estimated that it would be a one week project - asking a couple of people a couple of simple questions and a couple of journos drafting the report. But the project dragged on.

I’ll spare you the details of what we found in the mess report but just that there have been unaccounted measures that we suspect are costing the students more than they should pay for. I think the most heart-breaking part of the whole story was the fact that students who are supposed to represent the student body have taken on selfish and self-motivated objectives. PoR is seen as an avenue to bag an internship or a placement, not as a way to do good for the student community. Students are not doing their duties, their rightful duties that they have accepted as part of their PoRs. Any human institution will face inefficiencies and corruption. Thus, there is always another institution to keep it in check. Faculties, administration, the mess system, everything will eventually become corrupt if the people who are oppressed do not speak up. And the tragedy of the situation is that people who are responsible to speak up, don’t. Leaving the entire community ailing under the weights and costs, oblivious to the fact that they are being scammed every single day.

How many wrongs can I right?

I have tried so hard to do right. ~Cleveland, 1908

Maybe this sense of self-centeredness as opposed to community-centeredness, is not exclusive to IIT. I had to grapple with my conscience every single day. I would see something wrong and just stand in silence as a by-stander - after all, how many wrongs can I right? I would let one of my children bleed as I would go running to tend to another. It takes an army to defend a fort - the fort, which I believed stood for fundamental human rights but it seemed like I was alone. Some things worked out, some didn’t. That’s how things go. I learnt what I could from the ones that failed and quickly moved on to the next thing.

Personal reflections

When I became chief editor, the outgoing General Secretary told me one thing, “Do justice to the board”. We both share a deep love for the idea of BSP in our heads. It was my time to do my part in realising that idea. I don’t know how BSP has evolved but there were few signs - journos would approach me (especially people who were introverted) and tell me how they love the culture at BSP. There would be heartfelt messages on groups comparing how BSP is so much better than the other student bodies they are a part of. In hindsight, this kept me going because who else can be a better critic than one’s subordinates? My idea of running away from reality has been to throw myself at work and persevere (The ABC report, for example) and BSP kept me going through some of my hardest times, personally or otherwise. I have grown more humble and sensitive - on how to interact and talk to people and how to think about others.

What changed?

I have often asked the question: what for? Why bother to work so diligently at all? What good comes out of it? Does it even matter when people around you don’t really care? Students generally stay in college for four years and then leave so even if some passionate change-maker does manage to bring about reforms (which is already a gargantuan task for them), things would go back to being corrupt and wrong after they leave, undoing everything they did so why bother at all? The institute systematically resists changes to the status quo and anything that might jeopardise its set of objectives by subtly influencing student organisations. Any significantly big motion of change is immediately pacified by a well-oiled administrative system. I refuse to accept that changes cannot materialise if the students demand it. The problem is that students don’t know what they can do or they don’t want to. That’s where BSP should intervene.

The fault in our values

There’s a peculiar narrative out at large around election season - Jaayega isliye kaam kar raha hai (Wants to contest for a position that’s why they are working) - that highlights the incorrigibly flawed philosophy at the core of student politics at IITD. If I could do it again, I would do it all over again and perhaps with a greater passion and fervour.

Parting thoughts

What do I leave behind? To some, it might be a handful of posts on BSP’s website. My goal was always to be a role model for at least one of my juniors and even if they exhibit 10% of the passion that I have shown through the tenure, I would consider my tenure a successful one. I feel proud and grateful to write that I have touched more than just one life who look up to me today.

1: It might serve as a guide to future editors, a conduit to reminisce for past editors, or a common student’s window into the conscience of a troubled editor at a college media body.

The Wild Madness of Shaheen Bagh

gs454236@gmail.com (Basil Labib) — Sat, 16 Mar 2024 20:40:31 +0530

The following is a personal account of taking a stroll through the markets of Shaheen Bagh on the fifth day of the month of Ramadan with a friend. We went looking for new shoes just after breaking our fast.

After observing the duality of poverty and granduer exist so harmoniously at the same place, I couldn’t help but note my emotions. Here, I have attempted to reproduce them to the best of my abilities.

The courtship

I followed him down the dusty and poorly-lit stairway into a labyrinth of houses, above us millions of overhung cable wires and around us, howls of over-energetic kids. He led me through a series of turns and cracks that left me reeling and my memory struggling. Now, my only hope to get back home would be to have him in my sight, I thought. The noises started intensifying. A number of distant noises came near with each footstep - hawkers, motorcycles, chattering women, kids, bells, horns, gossip, conversations; the gentle humming of humanity. It felt so alien after the monotonicity of academic campus life. My body was both repulsed and excited by it. I looked down and caught myself walking on dust and straw and poop. Potholes adorned the lane like the jewels on a shy maiden. Once in a while, the road sank in to reveal the underbelly of Shaheen Bagh - a sight of muck and filth flowing underneath the bustling maze. I jumped sideways in surprise to escape a fall only to bump into a vendor selling bangles and received a cuss or two.

I almost saved myself from being run over by a motorcycle. I looked up at the driver to find a fifteen-something boy dressed in kurta pyjama and a white skullcap, evidently a madrasa student giggling and frolicking with his companion on the back. I marvelled at his skills of driving through the mass of humanity moving forward in unison.

I looked around to find men dressed in white having cups of tea and gossiping inside dimly-lit tea stalls. I observed kids half my age selling all kinds of wares - colourful neon buckets, bangles, earrings, socks, trousers, shoes, and whatnot. I looked around to find shops spilling into the street making it barely possible to walk and yet somehow wheels and feet found a way through the chaos.

I walked deeper and deeper into this carnival of sorts and looked up to notice colourful bright strings of light adorning the streets. The shops were decorated with bright lights and a sweet aroma flowed from each of them, alluring the nostrils and pulling at the strings of firm men - just like the sirens of the sea. Some sold roasted meat, priding itself in the display of skewered chicken hanging by the dozens, others sold drinks of all kinds in bright colours, some sold breads, some sold kachoris, some sold mouth-watering biryani and kebabs, and on and on. I slowed down to take in the sight of everything. Rich men and their wives were talking inside the glass walls of an expensive restaurant, slum kids rolling a piece of tyre and fighting over who would get the next turn, blind old man with pepper white beard asking for alms, hawkers screaming “Sale! Sale!” at the top of their voices - and I wondered how everyone is a performer. And how I am no different.

The crossroad was a sight to behold. It felt like the confluence of two angry rivers but instead of water there were men - of all shapes and sizes, just crashing into each other. It seemed impossible. How did it all work like a clockwork universe?

I looked forward and saw my wayfarer buried under the bodies of men. I quickened my footsteps.

The consummation

We went out once again at midnight for dinner. It didn’t feel like midnight. In fact, it was difficult to walk amongst so many people and one couldn’t help but find their pace reduced to a slow crawl. It felt like chand raat itself - that grand cacophony of a night before Eid. One can slowly move through the serpentine lanes and bylanes and take in the sweet aroma of a thousand flavours at their leisure. Anyways, somehow we entered a large restaurant which was brimming with people, dressed in kurtas and skullcaps of all colours and chattering away at their tables as they scoop thick gravy off their plates. I saw twenty-somethings waiters running around taking orders and serving plates full of some of the best delicacies humanity has to offer. I looked at their faces and saw stress and long hours of sleep-deprivation. I looked at their feet to see dusty and dirty feet wrapped in sandals. The people kept on chattering and pouncing on delectable kebabs and naans, a grand feast after the day-long fast.

I swear to God, I had the best dinner that night in ages. I marvelled at my body’s capacity to digest all that fat after fasting for a day. I waddled back home chugging coke out of the bottle in my hand and dozed off to sleep. I think my friend was trying to strike up a conversation with me as I sank into a deep slumber.

Stories from the Underground: Part 2

gs454236@gmail.com (Basil Labib) — Mon, 22 Jan 2024 20:50:05 +0000

As promised, this is part 2 of Stories from the Underground , my travelogue on the GCP workshop at Oxford and beyond.

Disclaimer: This post might contains expletives.

Day 3 (21st December)

I woke up and stretched like a cat on my double bed. Having a room for two all for myself was a welcome change from long hours of sitting and waiting around at airports. I glanced at my clock, 6ish. Perfect, I thought. Wrapped up some BSP work, made one of those instant hot chocolate thingie and went for my walk — a considerably longer one because the workshop was over and we were scheduled to depart for Oxford at 10. Video called my folks. I forced myself to take unchartered paths through the woods. It was fascinating to observe a biome so biologically different from one back in the tropics – mosses and lichens were aplenty and so were ferns and temperate-ish flora. The wetness had turned the dirt into mud and my shoes were making squishy noises all along the way.

I also decided to take a hot bath which did wonders to my skin (I have dry skin ;-;) and have a sumptuous breakfast - avocado on bread (bland with a bit of salt, very British), yoghurt, and lots of fruits! Alive and kicking, I knew that today was a long day of travelling around and so was the day next and the next. As A would later remark, our adventure began now.

In all the hush-hush, I was unable to explore the manor itself! So, I went for a walk by the lake and dipped my hand in the chill water. And it was so windy! Oof. Then, I realised it was always windy out here and that was really discomforting. The general coldness was still bearable. But the winds made amazing wave patterns on the water surface and they interfered with other wavefronts and created really cool patterns.

As scheduled and not a minute later, all were onboard the bus that would take us from Bicester back to the Ox. I wanted to sit with someone I would have to make an active effort to converse with. Somehow, I ended up sitting next to Beck, a masters student of human rights and politics at LSE and we had an engaging conversation about “hard questions”; on the merits and demerits of power-sharing systems, democracy in general. Then, we gravitated to British and Indian politics and I had am embarassing time explaining the current right-wing Hindutva politics prevailing in the country and its attack on cultural diversity. shrug.

We reached Oxford around 10:30 and said our final goodbyes. I had officially completed GCP.

Alight and adieu!, 21st December, 2023

The journey to Bath

Osney Arms was a self check-in guest house which was 10 mins walk from the station as per maps. Me and A decided to put our stuff and then decide where to go next. From now onwards, I was pretty much under the aegis of A for money, wisdom, and common sense :P

Self check-in means there was no one at home. I mean, literally no one! The host had shared instructions on how to get the house key which was stored inside a passcode protected safe outside the door. Locating the backdoor and opening the door made me feel like a detective and I thought, “apt only” hehe. Meanwhile, A called the host multiple times because that human-to-human contact is such an integral part of our lifestyle and finding its complete absence here was sort of unsettling (more on this later).

Anyway, we got access to our room and relaxed a bit. By the way, I was simultaneously trying to publish the latest BSP report on the Inter IIT Cultural Meet fiasco . The team had put in a lot of effort and I was happy how it had turned out. Coordinating a project across different timezone was a welcome experience as an editor. Meanwhile, A asked me to look up places to go. Initial plan: Let’s fly to Edinburgh. Flights were around £150 so we dropped it without much debate. Then we considered beach on the West Coast via Bath and Stonehedge. Seemed like an ambitious plan given the time of the day but we quickly booked tickets for Bath on the Great Western Railways mobile app. Incredible app service and user experience once again. The indecisiveness to plan our trip on the go and the ensuing rush was embarassing for 20 year old college kids.

We didn’t exactly go to the station afterwards. The indecisiveness to decide on an outfit was more embarassing for A, I guess, who ironically wanted to get my opinion on it. It was like asking a stone age man to choose the outfit for a WS banker. I tried my best not to disappoint him or myself. I think I did fairly good and learnt much.

Most of the way and most of the trip from now, I kept blabbering and noting random facts. I was glad that A didn’t get too much pissed and he was patient with my company. I was super excited to be criticising the English in their land walking right beside them in a language they don’t understand about how they looted and plundered us and polluted our culture.

Strolling through Bath

The train journey to Bath was a quiet experience partly due to the incredibly well-designed transport system. Trains were punctual to the minute and although we were racing at 80 miles per hour, I didn’t feel a thing inside. £20 a ride. I had conveniently forgotten my charging cables back at Oxford and had 10% charge. Fuck. Will have to click all pictures in A’s phone. Which is when I realised, I am terrible at clicking pictures too ;-;

We reached Bath alright, around 80 miles from Oxford around 2pm. The sun and the clouds were involved in some elaborate wrestling match which could easily be romanticised. We entered a McDonalds because we were hungry. We got out after ~30 minutes because S, the other senior back at home had some coupons that we redeemed but it meant spoofing his account on A’s phone basically. And the instructions to do that were transmitted manually. Over call. I just stood there watching people place their orders, wait for their order, and take their order. I marvelled at the average waiting time which I estimated to be ~5 minutes. Anyways, we got our stuff (I had a meal and chicken nuggets) and started walking towards the Roman Bath on York Street which was supposedly the place where the Romans bathed. I mean, no shit.

Me and A lazed around a lot. We clicked pictures at the Roman Bath and crossed the Pulteney bridge over River Avon (as maps conveniently told us). There were shoped lined up selling a variety of objects and artifacts. Everyone seemed so merry and private. Oh, also, the BBQ sauce had red wine vinegar. The taste of the wine felt strange – it was like iron or kerosene. Roadside performers were singing the best songs of the season, children were running around the city block, people were shopping and talking. I stood there and savoured the gentle humming of humanity.

We roamed into Henrietta Park on the other side of the bank where the restroom funnily devoured A’s 20p without providing access to the restroom! When it finally did open after taking card, it felt like a nuclear stronghold with the worst maintained restroom in the world. I checked my phone, still no internet. Fucking Airtel. I should have just gotten a UK sim for 10 days. Anyways, it was getting dark and we decided to walk back to the city centre. I could make out the green, white, and red of the Palestinian flag. A gruntled at the sight of those and I asked does he support Israel and he said yes. Then, I asked why and he shrugged and said he didn’t know, perhaps because that was India’s stance. Funny how quick we are at forming opinions about things we don’t know about.

English Pubs (and where to find them)

A wanted to try out an English pub so we started walking towards the Raven (Google maps is such a blessing). After a fair bit of walking through some shady bylanes we entered the Raven and it was a cozy little inn choked full of people. Their noises and murmurs formed one general sound. I could spot family reunions, friend group catch-ups, and courtships. It made me wonder how simple and yet complex human desires are – to just not be alone.

But since it was bustling with people, we decided to head over to The Grape (which by the way was also bustling with people). Finally, we decided to take the train back to Oxford and we took a 6:30pm GWR, I guess. There was an interchange at Didcot Parkway. The station names had an unfamiliar harmonious ring to it. It was fun trying to remember them in my head.

In search of our experience at an English pub, we surely landed up at one back at Oxford. The town was basically closed! It was maybe 9 or 10pm. I wanted to have a good dinner and I ordered chicken schnitzel, which is basically a meat patty served with mayo and fries. It was amazing! Not to say, I was terribly hungry. A ordered a beer and offered me which I politely declined. I have been asked too many times why I don’t drink and I seem to have forgotten the real reason. Perhaps, it was because I wanted to have a moral high ground? Or perhaps, I am too afraid to let go of something I have held onto for so long now? Or perhaps, I just have no clue what I’m doing? In any case, I don’t drink. I haven’t had a drop of alcohol. So be it.

Food and music

Food was amazing. They had some concert thing going on the upper levels. I reckoned most of these people were college students or professors. A had ordered some veg bowl which had a lot of greens and legumes. After we finished (and A failed to finish his beer), we headed back to our room. That is, after we roamed around for no reason. The strong gushes of wind made me uncomfortable. Other than that, the weather was perfect¹.

I slept at around midnight, I guess.

Day 4 (22nd December)

Morning in Oxford was lazier than at Bicester. I woke up later at around 7:30 or 8 and decided to head over to have breakfast after quickly freshening up. Here is me trying out some aesthetic photography :P

Outside the window, 22nd December, 2023

After much deliberation, we decided to tour Oxford itself for the first half and then head over to London after lunch. The host conveniently agreed to keep our stuff so that was sorted. It was a self-help breakfast buffet system and the kitchen was desolate except for two hungry souls hehe. I had a sumptous breakfast with bread, cheese, and jam. Orange juice was okay but very refreshing. Typical (modern) English breakfast, I thought. Well-stocked, we headed over to our first stop, Oxford Unviersity itself (and yes, this time I didn’t forget my powerbank or the cable!)

Christ Church is one of the oldest and grandest colleges which boasts of an illustrious alumni base – as I would soon learn through my audio guide who kept feeding me interesting nuggets of information in his soothing baritone voice throughout the next 30 mins or so of self-guided tour. College was in session so study areas were restricted but got to go to most of the quads (which are basically courtyards) and the cathedral was amazing. As I stepped into the cathedral, a sense of humbleness and respect gripped me as I realised I’m entering a region of sacredness. It fascinated me to realise how intertwined education and religion was, back in those days. Coincidentally, the pipe organ started playing and most people started humming or bobbing internally. Incredibly detailed artwork on stained glasses telling mythical stories of the Christian faith. I stood in awe studying the sunrays filtering through the coloured glasses as the organ music filled the air.

Oh, we also saw the Great Hall which inspired the Hogwarts dining hall in the HP franchise. The walls were adorned with people who graduated from Christ Church and went on to do lofty things. I peered at the dates; some of them dated back to the 1700s. Holy shit.

After around 30 minutes, I stepped out of the college and waited for A to finish talking to someone on the phone. I popped into a souvenir shop and scanned through the array of…stuff, all of it so English! Bags and cups and keychains and everything else! I stepped out and we headed towards Ashmolean Museum (on my insistence). After 15 minutes at the museum, I realised that A wasn’t interested in the quietness of the museum. So, after resting a bit (and finally catching up with folks over museum WiFi), we again started briskly walking through the streets of Oxford which were crowded than usual for the festive season. We tried to climb up the Carfax tower but it was closed at 3 :/ Oh, by the way, we also picked up hoodies and other souvenirs from a sourvenir shop. I went to a HP souvenir shop and gosh, it was so beautiful. Perfect place to buy a gift for a Potterhead cousin. I’m more of a Tolkien fan, though. I think we had food at another McDonalds and just crashed into a shopping mall for fun. I was simultaneously learning of the existence of so many brands.

Oxford was exciting and fun in its own quiet way. But I looked forward to London. It’s one of those cities like Kolkata or Delhi that left a scar after you are gone, not a memory. And the time had finally come to head over to London. We went back to our humble abode at Osney Arms and colected our stuff repeating the same key-acquiring rite of passage. I took one final look around. I marvelled at how I had stayed in this house overnight without a host. It was a massive departure from the Indian host-guest philosophy where human contact is essential and encouraged. I saw stickers and banners everywhere. An instructioned world where people are too busy to talk to one another. But don’t mistake this “contactless” world for a unmannered one. In my experience, English people were immensely helpful and mannered overall. Anyways…

Once again, we hoped on another GWR to London. We will be deboarding at Paddington (yes, the same station in the movie !) and then head over to our BnB at Soho (kudos to my lovely seniors to take care of all the grudge work ^_^). Oxford to London was approximately an hour of travel. I did some BSP work as the train cruised through the beautiful countryside leaving one farm after another. The sun when it appeared, made beautiful patterns on the lakes and ponds and streams. I wondered how quiet life here would be like. And I mentally prepared myself for the chaos that was London.

No surprises but London didn’t disappoint. It was so full of people, walking, running, brustling, bubbling with energy, talking, shouting, buying, selling – that’s what I thought when I stepped out of the Piccadilly Underground but I’m getting ahead of myself here. I arrived at Paddington and studied the London Underground for the first time. I thought the Delhi metro was complex but this was a totally different beast². I got myself one of those one time tokens when I should have just made my Oyster right away so a little fuck up from my side there. Anyways, we got onto the Underground alright and headed to Piccadilly on the Bakerloo line. The train stopped at Baker Street and the inner kid in me leapt with joy. The Underground was…old. It felt old and used. The carriages were old and made rattling noise in transit. The seats were of velvet cushion but the colour had faded. But nothing seemed non-functional. They charged me £7 for that 20 minutes ride ;-;

Hmm, something’s fishy

I was too tired to argue or use my brain. The shadow of London towered heavy and high over me. I am not ashamed to say but I was quite intimidated by the city whose tales I have read in books. I mean, this is the capital of the country that ruled almost the entire world at its zenith. This is the city that was home to visionaries and leaders. All I wanted was to check-in to my room.

Piccadilly, yay!

Maps shown that the apartment was 2 mins from Piccadilly. We started walking and quickly realised what had happened. Soho and the West End is the theatre hub of London. At the same time, it also houses a number of strip clubs and other services. I looked at A and laughed. Our BnB had a very high chance of being a brothel in the past. I walked past shops and people selling and buying all kinds of commodities. I waited for A who had gone to find the key. Two women started staring at me. I got extremely uncomfortable. Thankfully, A came back shortly and directed me and the stuff to a sandwiched wooden door between two large shops. We tried to open the door for 2 minutes slightly embarassed because it was a lively street. It opened and we walked in. The apartment was small, waayyy small than the Oxford thingie. It had a washing machine, microwave, basin, etc. It had copies of Vogue, Doir, and Fifty Shades. And a hard-bound copy of some Playboy-like magazine. It was dark outside so peering out the window didn’t help much. The apartment had all the characteristics of being a brothel. It checked out , we were officially staying in a brothel for two days. I tried to appreciate the poetry of life but all I could manage was a giggle.

All warm and comfy and having eaten the breads that I got from Osney’s kitchen, we set out to explore the Big Smoke⁴. It was festive season and past 7pm so we decided to just walk the stretch of Regent Street which was decked up in beautiful lights. And there were so many people of all cultures and nations. Brands and shops spewed lights of all kinds on commuters who were talking to each other and laughing and clicking pictures. A had to keep up with the outpourings of my heart and pretty sure, some of it didn’t make much sense.

Regent Street all decked for the festive season

I saw the black London cabbie and remembered that BBC episode starring Benedict Cumberbatch and Martin Freeman. I saw the red double decker buses which were touring people. I walked through the theatres which had colourful posters of musicals and dramas with a “Now Showing” tag. I watched street performers singing Indian songs, was it “Chammak Challo” from Ra One? I saw rickshaws playing loud music and touring people for fun. I saw halal shops selling hotdogs. I saw McDonalds at every corner. I walked past the dirt and piss and cigarette butts. London really seemed to be the city which didn’t care what happened to me in you. She danced to her own tune.

We finally decided to call it a day and due to some reason, had to head over to Subway. The person at the counter was highly uncooperative, talked rudely, and I had a very bad experience overall. We headed back to room because I had to sort out my TFL travel. It was funny because after setting up everything for contactless payment on my GPay, I realised that NFC is not supported on my phone. Bummer. I laughed it off and went to bed. I’ll have to buy a physical Oyster at the station.

Day 5 (23rd December)

Day started late and somewhat lazily in London. I knew this was going to be another day of touring an alien city. I also realised that this would be my penultimate morning in the UK (hopefully). I freshened up and went for a walk around 8am. The city was sleepy. Hygiene workers were cleaning the dirty streets, spoilt by spilt drinks and burnt ashes. The billboards still glowed like nymphs at sea, alluring passerbys to enjoy theatre. Everything was just the way I had left it in the morning, only brighter. I tried to make sense of my geospatial location (Historically, I’m pretty bad at it) and tried to navigate to new street corners. Well, I almost got lost. But somehow found my way back to that tiny black door on Brewer Street.

Me and A grabbed breakfast at a street corner McDonalds. It was a humble McEgg with cappucino and hash browns. Our location enabled us access to all major places by walking. We came up with an ambitious and tight plan and kickstarted it by visiting the Buckingham Palace (cause why not?). We walked through St. James Park, through meadows and ducks lazily floating on the water. The sky was overcast and there was no sign of the sun. I think it ocassionally drizzled too. The winds were punishing and made me grimace every time it crashed into my chest. We walked into BP and oh God, it was a magnificent sight to behold sans the tourists, of course! The change of guard ceremony was not planned on Saturday but the days before and after. Bummer. The “go inside BP” tours are planned for spring generally. Another bummer.

I got some of my personal favourite pictures clicked here and around :)

Tower Bridge

I could have stayed all day just sitting there and observing people – the general humming of humanity but we had plans. So, we headed to Westminster and onwards to see the Thames (after all) all aided by the maps app which instructed us to head east. The Westminster area gave the impression of a “business place”. Very few people on the road. Tall skyscrapers that hid their internals through miles of glass. So, this is where capitalism proliferates, I wondered.

The Westminster Abbey was one magnificent sight to behold. This is where the new king of the UK was crowned back in 2022. I noticed that I was getting better at clicking pictures. Few people requested me to click their pictures and I abided. We popped into the Westminster station and popped out of Tower Hill on the District Line. We walked to the Tower of London and saw tours underway. I didn’t feel like going inside (or more like, spending money to go inside) so we just admired its beauty from the outside. I took a turn and finally saw Thames. It was…well, it was a river. I had actually seen it before in Oxford but it was only a stream there. There were shops lining the banks selling all kinds of products and food. People were chattering and walking around. The sun was up and beautiful. The London Eye was in the distance. The skyscrapers blocked most of the sky. We walked along the banks of the Thames and crossed it at the Tower Bridge. I devised a plan to head over to Borough Market to grab food which was…urhmm not one of my greatest plans. A’s phone was about to die and I had to remember the map. It was a loooong walk along the other bank of the Thames but we had to persist. We bought some fries and nuggets along the way and devoured it.

Pretty and delicious

Borough Market was a totally different ballgame. Highly recommend to anyone craving for trying out esoteric food in London. It was a totally vibe-y place. All kinds of shops selling all kinds of food items - wines, cheese, oysters, meats, all for sale and trying out. BM seemed like an enclosure right in the middle of the bustling city. An anomalous piece of space and time disjoint from the work city. It was so crowded with people that I wasn’t walking; I was pushed! I would later draw parallels with New Market and Zakaria Street back home when telling about it to my folks which I think is a fair comparison.

I had a humble piece of garlic bread. A had some kind of fruit pie. I almost vomitted walking past some of the meat shops. It seemed like people were running to their own tune, our eyes would meet, hold for a moment, and then break, and in that moment, we would have socially judged each other. Marvellous how human society has evolved. Anyways, we headed out of the market at around 4 and stopped at a cafe for A had to charge his phone (immediately) and we needed to take some rest and get warm.

This is what I mean when I talk about graffiti

We found a place and A ordered some bean rice (which was horrible, by the way). We took our seats and somehow, my silly brain came to the conclusion that the Underground would be closed on the 24th. I got…a bit scared. No, I internally panicked. I tried to call my folks and friends who lived in London. It would be a major pain in the ass to book a cab only for myself to Heathrow because they are shit expensive. It also dawned on me that I would be leaving Heathrow the next day – in less than 24 hours. I also had a concert to catch tonight (more on this later) and one of my very close friends was calling me to his place. I was suddenly required to process a large amount of information.

Well, my panicking was ill-founded as the Underground was working fine on the 24th, atleast the Picadilly (blue) line was, which I quickly verified from a personnel at the station. Talking to that person I realised how I have managed to survive my trip with minimal conversational interaction with Britishers. Hmm. A was making some last minute changes to his plan. He would be leaving for India after two more days and effectively spend Christmas with a friend (I would later discover that it snowed on the 25th * cries *) but I had other commitments at Inter IIT from the 26th. I had to refuse to visit my friend who lived in East Ham and was kinda out of route from Stratford which is the location of the ABBA Voyage concert and where we presented headed.

The Underground was a bliss, followed by a quick change to DLR. The TFL metro app was superbly designed. Loved the minimalist, no-BS design approach. I spotted poetry on the train. Perhaps, the most English thing ever?

Poems on the Underground, 23rd December, 2023

I felt a tinge of anxiety regarding reaching the airport on time the next day but for then, it was all taken care of apparently so I decided to enjoy the concert. My transition from serious to not-serious (and vice-versa) happens extremely quickly which maybe a good thing. I immediately got into the groove as tunes of Waterloo flowed into my ears from a distance. I recharged my oyster through the app just for safety and paid with my debit card (!). Yeah, big deal. The ticket was bought by a senior without permission from A or me so it was an extremely sweet gesture on their part. If you’re reading this, (I know you won’t) a big thank you! ^_^

The atmosphere inside the arena was electrifying. People were chattering with friends and family, running around from counter to counter, getting drunk, and in general, buzzing with excitement. A got himself some boozed coffee drink and we headed for the dance floor. They told us not to record and other do’s and don’ts. The show started right on time (!), something I was still getting used to and which I absolutely admired. With the first stroke of light show, four avatars appeared on stage and it took sometime to internalise the fact that the stage was actually empty! I looked around to see people craning their necks to get a glimpse of the AI avatars on stage. My brain told me that this would be the future of entertainment. How crazy to believe that we were clapping and cheering at something that didn’t exist. Clapping at imaginative fiction felt like coming full circle.

Cheering at apparitions

It’s surprising how incredibly dark ABBA songs actually are, inspite of the infectious hook and catchy tunes. One could only wonder how difficult it must have been for the two couples to churn out hit after hit while battling personal issues and turning them into disco music.

No more carefree laughter
Silence ever after
Walking through an empty house, tears in my eyes
Here is where the story ends, this is goodbye.
~Knowing Me, Knowing You, ABBA, 1976

I think I missed some songs in the set - Fernando, S.O.S. among the famous ones and also heard some new songs which I hadn’t before. Other people were clearly more learned in the ABBA lore than two Indians who were brought up in a privileged upbringing which glorified Western culture.

We spent some more time at the Soho city centre, just standing and taking it all in and decided not to walk to Trafalgar Square as A was too tired and I didn’t have map support on my practically useless phone. I realised how and why people sacrifice things. Atleast one possible causation vector for it.

I went to sleep at midnight. The next day would be a lot of travelling; 7980 km to be precise.

They built a movable complex for this concert

Day 6 (24th December)

The view outside our room greeted us with sewage pipework. It looked like a Spiderman neighbourhood in the light with steam and smoke billowing out of chimneys and red brick lining the walls. I woke up very early and tried to go through some of the Dior and Vogue copies that lined the bookshelf. My flight was at 1pm so I decided to leave for Heathrow at 9am just to be safe. Another gross overestimated because as I would learn, the LHR security check is a breeze.

Chinatown

Anyways, I had over an hour so I decided to take another walk. This time I downloaded a local map on my phone and aimed to go to Trafalgar Square. It was a 10 minutes walk. As usual, London felt sleepy. I walked past the blingy lights of the West End theatres, past their vibrant posters and into the city centre, I walked past the Chinatown which was decorated with Chinese lanterns and lined with so many restaurants but it was all closed. I walked past a building where supposedly Newton lived from 1710. Cool. I took a turn and there it was – Trafalgar Square in all its glory. Well, it was a city square.

Much recently, I noticed that Aditya Chopra opens DDLJ at Trafalgar with Amrish Puri feeding the pigeons and battling his conscious and justifying his decision to leave his country. I stood there for a few minutes and like any Indian, clicked few pictures. The gallery loomed in the background and the tower stood at the center, accompanied by the fountain thingie. I checked my watch and it was time to leave. The return was far less adventurous especially after I took a wrong turn and ended at a dead-end after trying to be “exploratory”. I peered into one of the bylanes and caught two people making out.

I packed my bag for one final time, hugged, and thanked A and descended the stairs of my Brewer Street abode one last time. The Indian stores selling English merch were just opening up. I popped into the Picadilly Underground and took the blue line.

Talking head

A number of thoughts flowed through my head during my last few hours in London. I reminded myself of the harmonious English accent and tried to repeat the sounds in my head again and again – smool, touak, wauuter, and so on. If you listen carefully, the English also have variations in how they pronounce words and it can be used to place them in exact locations of the country. I was reminded of Prof. Higgins :

I can place any man within six miles. I can place him within two miles in London. Sometimes within two streets.
~Prof. Higgins

I was reminded of standing at the sidewalk in Oxford expecting the car to go but the car stood for me to cross first! Only for both of us to keep standing and that’s how I got my first middle finger (I didn’t see it, A told me about it) I was amazed at this first-class treatment of pedestrians to be honest, something which was once again alien to me. Vehicles here don’t really care when if they run you down so it was, the least of say, a welcome change.

I turned my attention to all the messages I had received from friends and family. Never had my Instagram been this active and buzzing. I replied to all.

My mind turned to the faces I have seen the last seven days. Sheer endurance of people baffled me. I remembered homeless guys sitting outside in the cold and I also peered at people chatting inside expensive restaurants. The human condition is truly peculiar. It’s funny how under the hood, the entire trip has been about judging people. Oh, I just caught a couple kissing on the station.

I wondered about my photography skills; I came a noob and I go back being able to capture decent human pictures. I have truly grown.

My mind turned to the things that couldn’t be such as the trip to St. Pancras’ to see the 9 3/4 platform or 221B Baker Street. But that’s fine I guess. Human desire is never satisfied.

The flight back

I spent my time at the airport watching the new Abhishek Upamanyu standup which was an absolute riot. I was laughing so hard the whole time. It reminded me of home and helped me combat airport loneliness. Thank you, Abhishekji! I remember my LHR-DXB flight getting delayed by an hour and I remember the DXB-CCU flight being delayed by Emirates to accommodate us as we rushed through security. I remember bingeing on a documentary on the album designer group Hipgnosis and Hitchcock’s classic The Birds (fantastic watch, by the way; perhaps my favourite Hitchcock). I remember starting Celine Song’s Past Lives but dozing off due to fatigue. Watched it later and it’s such an endearing storytelling. Emirates’ hospitality was, once again, amazing.

The End³

You might have expected me to tell you stories of valour and conquests – of fucking around in the middle of the night, making out with some random girl in a pub, or pissing on a police car to get arrested or just get into some trouble. But it was nothing like that. I was the most disciplined boy in the UK. Mom and Dad must be proud. But I wonder why.

Dubai at night. Emirates is such a cutiepie, they delayed the DBX-CCU flight for us

This is Part 2 of the two-part travelogue on my GCP experience and beyond. Read Part 1 here .

Footnotes

1: As I am writing this sitting in Delhi with temperatures around 14-15, I can only imagine that Delhi cold has a much harsher vibe to it. It feels like 4 or 5 here.

2: Gradually, I learnt to tame the beast. Now, I’m cool with it. I’ve heard Tokyo underground is even more complex. Hmmmm.

3: This post turned out to be around 6K words, that’s twice the size of Part 1!

4: TIL that this is London’s nickname.

In the Name of: IIT Delhi and the Age of Unenlightenment

gs454236@gmail.com (Basil Labib) — Mon, 22 Jan 2024 05:05:58 +0530

It was a bright cold day in April, and the clocks were striking thirteen.

~George Orwell, 1984

Global news channels are keenly monitoring, with much bated breath, the development in the Indian subcontinent and the rise of fascist right-wing Hindutva in the country; the germ of discord and intolerance that were sown with the demolition of the Babri Masjid back in 1992. Rarely has the prime minister of any country made such a dramatic show of their support towards one particular religion. It is evident that the Modi government has piggybanked on the identity-based politics for its third run at the general elections later this year.

The imaginary nation

A nation is bound together by a story shared by millions of people who believe in it. India has become an experiment in what happens when a group of people try to poison that story by force. The last decade has seen mass hysteria; the condition when large groups of people are rendered mentally limp and agree to be led like a sheep, human idolisation, and a systemic departure from a rational and tolerant point of view. The target of this campaign has largely been uneducated or semi-educated youths who are financially vulnerable and are easier to convince of “the cause”.

The spectrum at IITD

I was invited to be a part of the student jury which judged creative writing entries for NISHAAN, a fest for PwD students organised by the Office of Diversity and Inclusion, IIT Delhi. I read about ideas of inclusion and how it is important for the upliftment of society and it made me wonder that how distant and alien these ideas have become in present India. The whole affair was replete with irony because I witnessed a Ram mandir procession inside the campus a few days after.

I saw bystanders staring uncomfortably at excited and passionate students and employees chanting “Jai Shree Ram” (Long live Lord Ram), beating drums, and singing hymns on loud speakers wondering what it means for reason and rationality when a religious procession was allowed inside the campus when student protest against mess fees for instance, are met with unprecedented friction from the administration and security.

The questions no one asked

Why were the ID cards of students and employees in the procession not checked? Who verified that only IITD members were part of the procession? Which Dean approved the procession to take place in the first place? Why did the security team not complain of “excessive noise and disturbance, creating a nuisance” when the procession went past the library at peak office hours on Saturday? Why are none of these questions answered by the administration? And more importantly, why are none of these questions asked?

Why are the posters on hostel notice boards and 10 feet banners spewed across the campus not interpreted as “unfitting for an academic institution” while student survey on caste where taken down on grounds of being propagandist? I refuse to believe that the intelligentsia of IITD is so callous as to overlook this fact which brings me to the next logical deduction – that the intelligentsia approves of the majoritarian high-handedness of one particular group and their beliefs at the cost of others who are also residents of the same tapestry. And I think that is shameful. Where are the professors who profess of freedom of expression of opinions? Where are the student leaders of tomorrow? Who will be the enforcer of freedom and to live without fear when the enforcers refuse to do their rightful duties?

Paradise Lost?

When I came to IITD, I used to marvel at the rich tapestry of the university, it was supposed to be a confluence of so many cultures and I used to believe in the synergy of such ideas and the outcome of that energy. It breaks my heart to see the brightest minds in the country wasting their times in nurturing and propagating hatred towards “others”. How can India innovate and progress and become a trillion dollar economy if we churn out workers and employees by our taxpayer’s money?

Are the journalists not dead yet?

I invited a number of eminent journalists, designers, and artists as part of Literati ‘24. Talking to them backstage corroborated the fact that journalists and whistle-blowers are fearful to talk about blatant violation of the Indian consitution. One remarked how this idea of identification of which religion one belongs to is a recent import into the popular Indian mindset. Asmita Theatre Group performed a play at Literati called “Amritsar Aa Gaya” – a moving play based on the tensions in the aftermath of the partition. It made me cry.

There used to be no need to mention one’s religion in any conversation but now, that seems to be the first thing that is asked or noted. It makes me wonder what happens to societies where the 4th pillar of democracy ceases to exist? When people empowered to start conversations refuse to speak up?

Law and Order (or lack thereof)

In complete defiance of the constitution, the Centre government has been appeasing the majority group at the cost of minorities. This giant propagandist machinery is crafted with treachery, cunning, and a complete disregard to dissent. The poster boy of this bull-dozering dismantling of the Indian tapestry is our charismatic prime minister himself.

The end of democracy when dissidents fear to ask questions or raise questions lest they be labelled as “anti-nationals” and prosecuted. Naturally, dissidents will be forced not to raise their concerns in the future when the state sets the precedence of not prosecuting violators of the Indian Constitution. Criminals who suppress past dissidence by force or bloodshed.

It might appear supremacist or satisfying but historically, the natural asymptote of a society based on hatred towards minorities is a complete breakdown of law and order and descent into an implosion and failure of society as a whole; it will not be too late until the hatred towards minorities is channelled towards anyone and everyone who dissents with the small group in power simply because hatred is never satisfied. In my opinion, what remains to be seen is how quickly this will be achieved in India.

Short-term appeasement is an age old trick

Why are we not talking about societal welfare? Why are the news portals head over heels in love with the daily routine of our PM? Who will talk about Manipur? Or Israel? Or Canada? It seems like the Modi government has mastered a way to transiently gratify the masses by using underhanded tricks like declaring holidays on religiously significant days, aided by an army of “tech-savvy” internet censorship which aggressively takes down any dissent. But why to assume that the current policies are the best and there is no scope for improvement? If there is no dissent, then who will point out that the minorities are getting hurt? Aggression really seems to be the modus operandi of the current government.

Conclusion

I wonder if Lord Ram Himself would be happy to see bloodshed in his name? Clearly, no God would want to see sleeping people dragged out from their homes in the middle of the night and harassed and butchered. Which God is so cruel as to want that? No, it is the hearts of men that are dark and their eyes that are blind. And they know nothing about religion who use it’s name to profilerate their own greed and ambition.

I don’t expect this post to do anything really. Frankly, I’m just glad that you have the patience and reason to read upto this point (very very few people can do that). But to keep quiet is to be a part of the oppressors and I refuse to oppress. Maybe you can ask questions in your own little way?

Stories from the Underground: Part 1

gs454236@gmail.com (Basil Labib) — Wed, 03 Jan 2024 09:50:02 +0000

Disclaimer: This post might contain expletives.

Prologue

I am waiting at the airport bound to New Delhi right now on NYE. It’s been around 10 days since I came back from my first international trip and subsequently go on to represent my institute at Inter IIT Cultural Meet at IIT Kharagpur. I have classes from 8 am tomorrow morning. When did my life got so fast?

What is this life if, full of care,
We have no time to stand and stare.
~Leisure, William Henry Davies

As I sit here pondering and attempting to start this post for the umpteenth time, I heave a lot of sighs because this story is so rich in experiences and wisdom and things to be talked about. I sit here wondering how I can squeeze a book’s worth of content in this blog post.

I could very well have titled this post, “How to survive in a foreign country without money ft. oodles of luck”. But I’m getting way ahead of myself. To start this story, we must go back. Way back to June of 2023.

June of 2023

I was aimlessly hanging out at CCD back in campus when this senior walks in and he goes like, “Hey Basil, have you applied for GCP camp?” I’m like, “Huh, what camp?” And he goes, “Oh, nevermind. Open your laptop, let’s fill out your application. It’s past deadline but they’ll consider.” Half an hour-ish later, I hit the Submit button and so it began.

I was pretty sure I would atleast be shortlisted for the interview stage. GCP is a very low hanging fruit given how much invested I am in EA (went to EAGxIndia back in Jan, involved with the community since then). Anyway, in popped the interview email and after missing the scheduled time (In my defense, it was 1 AM in the morning and I was sleepy!), I rescheduled. I felt that the interview went very nicely - [Wrena][2] was lovely to talk to and very enthusiastic and kind. After a couple of days, another email popped in. I was in. I rushed through Visa applications and prayed for it to come through. Surprisingly, these trips are a lot of logistical work. I get why people opt for assistants and agents. Managing everything on my own forced me to come up with better accounting methods. For sake of brevity, I’ll just write the golden equation here and won’t care to explain (probably in a footnote later),

$$ \sum Expenses = \sum Working Expenses + \sum Liabilities - \sum Assets $$

There I was armed and equipped to fly to UK on 17th July. Only the Visa didn’t come through. And I had to postpone it to the next camp which was in December. Bummer.

Halfway around the world

After an especially excruciating semester, the air grew cold and the trees lost their greens. GCP sent the confirmation email and I sorted out the logistics once again and booked flights once again. During September, I completed the BlueDot AI alignment 101 course at the AISCF camp at my uni. A bunch of my college friends also got in but eventually only one final year senior could make it. I would be flying from home (Kolkata) to Heathrow via Dubai on the 17th.

I was giddy and to be honest, a little scared. I guess that’s normal. I wasn’t just flying to another country, I was flying to another continent, halfway around the world for the first time, all alone. Besides, I was already reeling from the aftermath of two trips – one to Bengaluru for ETHIndia and an unplanned one to Kasol and a trek to Kheerganga. I was at home for barely 5 days and there I was at the threshold of the airport at 2AM saying my goodbyes to my folks.

Apart from the absurdly over-anticipated time to clear airport security, the flight was a breeze. I had already planned to wait overnight at Heathrow for my senior, let’s call him A, so my adventure began with a lot of…sitting and waiting. Emirates made sure to make my 12 hour-ish journey as smooth as possible. The dessert which was some kind of cake was served on a way too sour sauce.² Rest was A-okay. I binged Men in Black (1997) and Thor: Love and Thunder (2022) and in the diffused state of babies crying, murmurs of the cabin, and occassional g-force heavy jolts, I kept falling into and out of sleep.³

I landed at Dubai and started drafting Hacking Wordle Blitz . Surrounded by rich Hijab clad Arabian mothers running around with their spoilt kids and with the man-made apparition of the Burj Khalifa in the distance, I was buzzing with excitement to complete the draft. In that sense, the layover was very productive. I slapped shut my laptop with a decent first draft and went through a final Covid test. Just seven more hours and I would be in the land of the greats. The land of the people whose stories I have read in books and marvelled at. I mean, the remnants of the culture that these people who ruled over us for over 200 years, imposed on us.

Day -1 (17th December)

I wasn’t tired as much as I was processing all the experiences⁴. After landing at Heathrow at around 8pm, I headed towards immigration and after staying quiet for almost 12 hours with only the voices in my head, I was confronted by the immigration officer who started asking me all these questions - “Why are you here?”, “Who is funding your stay?”, “Do you have family or kin in the UK?” etc. “Huh?” I thought. It took me sometime to orient myself but soon, he was satisfied with my answers and appeared much less intimidating. “Have a good stay, sir!” he said in the melodious British accent as I stepped towards the baggage belt. I had officially crossed the UK border.

The first thing I noticed (like any responsible traveller) were the signs. And their design. Ripped from complexity, they were the simplest, cleanest fonts I had seen in a while. A no-nonsense font. It felt related to Helvetica. I wasn’t too wrong . I instantly liked it.

I settled down and immediately realised I was in big trouble. All the sockets were rectangular pinned! My laptop had 20% charge. Fuck. Luckily, I had a power bank so I could atleast communicate…Fuck. I didn’t have an international plan. Perhaps I can buy one. Fuck, I don’t have a credit card⁵.

All I could do was wait. I craned my neck to peer outside whenever the doors opened and was greeted by a bitter cold gush of wind. I saw people’s faces lighting up to see their loved ones, elders rushing to the gates to hug their kids and grandkids. The festive spirits were high. Slowly, night fell and the inflow of people decreased till it dropped to zero. The airport was shutting down. I turned around and saw a few faces trying to fight the cold or the sleep or both. Sigh.

The night at Heathrow

The night was long hours of silence since I had to conserve power. The Heathrow Wifi was a life-saver. Soon I realised, UK has extremely good public Wifi service – even buses and bus stops! I took a stroll around 3 AM and stepped out to use the restroom. My legs seemed to both draw me towards the door and repel me from it. I stepped outside and stood for a moment. Wide-eyed, I tried to take it all in. The busy airport staff and the surrounding buildings, their slender design, the dark blue hue, the overcast sky, the misty air, and wet ground. I stepped back in and felt like I had just performed an EVA. Haha.

I realised how I have only ever travelled alone by air. I didn’t know what to make of it. Blessed? Deprived? Delighted? Angry? I popped in my airpod and kept falling in and out of sleep. Soon enough, the inflow started again. The shops opened up, lightening up the place with their colorful aura.

Day 0

I realised I had no information regarding A’s flight details and I wouldn’t know since he would be in flight. Sigh. All I could do was wait and pray for him to reach out first. And soon enough, around 8:30ish, A calls and we decide to meet up at the gate…

…only to realise we were at different terminals! I took the Inter-terminal Expressway that runs free of cost and went to T5 where we had our first rendezvous. I was relieved, to say the least, to see another human who I can talk to. I started blabbering like a fool. He saw that I was happy and needed to talk so he let me have my moment. Then, we decided to head over to Oxford via a direct bus in lieu of 3 interchanging train ride. We priortised comfort since fatigue was gripping both of us. £27 for the bus ride to Oxford.

The disastrous breakfast

After arriving at Oxford, we headed for some breakfast. I wanted to try out the traditional English breakfast but since I don’t eat pork, I asked the person to not include bacon. She serves the plate and there was…bacon. Ugh. Shared the scarbbled eggs with A and had some beans which smelt very very weird and yucky. Worst food experience ever. £15 for this nuisance. I implicitly swore to stick to McDonald’s only. Video called my folks.

Rendezvous

We had to reach The Ox statue just outside the station by 1:30pm. But somehow, Maps got confused and took a whole bunch of us to some other Ox which led into a backyard! Anyway, we assembled at the Ox somehow and oh my god, so many people! It was fun to talk to people though. I was a bit hesitant with my accent and volume at first but I quickly improvised. A whole bunch of interesting people it seemed. Undergraduates, Postgraduates, and PhDs studying CS, Econ, Philosophy, Anthropology, Political Science and so on. From Durham, LSE, ETH Zurich, Norway, Germany, Ghana, and of course, India. We left Oxford at 1:28pm for Bicester, the site of our workshop where we’ll be boarding at Middle Aston House , a legacy-rich manor right at the heart of the Oxfordshire countryside.

I had a fun conversation with Micha, a Masters student in AI at a German college. The TL;DR - technical higher education is cheaper in Germany than elsewhere. After 20 minutes, I checked Maps (By the way, I’m using and will be using A’s iPhone for the most of the trip because Airtel international data roaming is beyond miserable) and saw 2 mins to Bicester. Ah, finally.

…Only to notice that we have turned around and heading away from Bicester? They had missed a few people at the pickup point so we were heading back to get them. Another 40 minutes. I mostly sat in silence since I was too tired to talk. It was past 3 in the afternoon. There was no sun. I enjoyed the house, their architecture and their colour - each so distinct and refreshing. The fictional English countryside just got real.

We reached Middle Aston and holy smokes! It was an incredible place. I had a feeling that the next few days would be awesome (Spoiler alert: They were ;)) I quickly dropped off my bags at my assigned room and assembled for the welcome session. People had already started talking and socialising just like in a typical EA conference and I felt a bit awkward. That’s when my phone rings and it’s a call from Ms. Palki’s assistant. I was plunged back to reality for a moment as I recalled my ties and responsibilities from back home. The ghosts of my past?⁶ Anyway, that was a negative response. Fuck.

Middle Aston House, view by the lake, 21st December, 2023

Kickstart

The session started right away and there was no food break! I felt lucky to have had that breakfast at Oxford. Wrena was talking about scout mindset and asking questions and things like that. Scout mindset I thought. yes! Food! Rest! I thought. I was fighting to stay awake! But I was trying very hard to hold my ground. They had interactive session with other participants and I got to know Chris, a medical practitioner who was involved with the EA community for a very long time. I could see his charisma and extrovertedness shine through and his effort to make the other person feel comfortable in the conversation.

I crashed into bed after food and didn’t even look at the clock. I don’t remember what I had for food but it was all vegan and ample and delicious. It was probably lasagna.

Day 1 (19th December)

After an estimated eight hours of sleep, I felt rejuvenated and much healthier. Surprisingly, I woke up early around 6 and it was still dark outside. I stayed in my room, coordinated an article we were publishing on the Inter IIT Cultural fiasco for BSP, and video called my folks. It was afternoon in India anyways.

The Bicester countryside, 19th December 2023

At around 7:30, I decided to go for a walk along the countryside and it was an incredible experience! There were large swatches of green meadows stretching as far as the eyes could see. In the distance, small houses billowed smoke that vanished into the grayish blue sky. I could make out fern and moss-infested stones and flora alien to the tropical climate. It seemed like all of nature has conspired to inspire man to do great things in this land.

After the walk which lasted exactly 15 minutes, I went down for a quick guided meditation session with Chris in the common room. I had previously done this in the Jaipur conference and knew what to expect. We were joined by Cass (a highly energetic and lovely student studying pyscho and philo at Oxford) and Hugh (a first year undergraduate studying philo). I’m yet to evaluate if this is useful for me personally but it was fun regardless.

The day begins

Day 1 was biorisk day and I was especially looking forward to getting more pointers to start exploring concretely or make up my mind if I should be starting at all. In that regard, there were two very helpful speakers Sofya and Ryan who helped us orient and hand-hold the uninitiated. My overall impression from the session were that 1) biorisk is a real issue 2) we ain’t doing even a fraction of what is required to mitigate it! I realised that most problems seem to originate from lethargic bureaucracy and/or poor governance policies rather than technological advancements but maybe I can be corrected! Even during lunch, I resorted to talking less and listening more because that’s what I prefer to do! The lunch was delicious enough but forgettable (!) I’m not sure what I was having for food basically but I knew it was elible and it was vegan and it was delicious so I resorted to not contest it too much. We were then paired to go on individual timed 1-on-1s which is a great way to get to know other people and get them to know you, something which I like about EA programmes!

It rains a lot in UK! Not “rain” rain as in a tropical downpour like here in India but more of a friendly drizzle. Amazingly, it got dark at 4pm which surprised the shit out of me. By 6pm, shops were closed and by 8pm, everyone was packed up and cosy (except us, of course, we were all college students :P) Also, I noticed that I was considerably tired throughout the day and had to constantly hit the bed. Weird.

The night

I ended up talking about misaligned agents in organisations especially in EA with Ieva, another person with wonderful insights and wonderful eloquence. Basically what I was trying to get to was the principal-agent problem but the bell for dinner rang (not quite literally!) and I shared my dinner table with Maathias, Amritanshu, and Emmanuel where we discussed and contrasted the political systems of Ghana, Germany, and India! My takeaway? Sustainable and equitable power-sharing systems is another topic I feel deeply excited to learn and talk about. Then we went on a night walk after dinner and I looked up at the sky and all worries faded away…

I could see Orion with my naked eye! The inner astronomer in me leapt with joy, it was a sight I would never forget (although Orion is like the most recognisable constellation). All those days of preparing for INAO built up for a strong nostalgic jolt. I just looked at the sky that entire walk, I think.

I came back to my room and A and I decided to book rooms after the workshop ends. After a long talk with S (a very very helpful senior), we got a room at Oxford and another at Soho, London for very discounted prices. In the process, I learnt that hotel rooms are thin after the neighbouring person came knocking and requesting us to tone it down as he was trying to sleep. Oopsie. Oh, and yes, in a rather hilarious episode, we almost booked hotels at London ;)

Day 2 (20th December)

Although I woke up at 6ish, I felt a lot more tired. I went for the usual morning walk and meditation where we were joined by Yusuf, one of the other organisers. I was getting mentally adept at calculating IST. Hmmm.

I was getting used to the apricot yoghurt. Hmmm.

It was AI risk day and once again, we were brief at 0930 sharp at the meeting room, followed by guest speaker lectures. The conversations were not directly druitful but they were fruitful in a different way. Then I realised that one of the speakers was a co-author for one of the papers included in the AI Safety fundamentals 101 course! I was getting used to the (vegan) English cuisine in general. Hmmm. Dinner was interesting too because I ended up at one of the guest speaker’s table with Wrena and Ieva from before and I basically asked the question: Are the frameworks and safety systems that we are building invariant across AI technological progress? If not, then how can we do that?

Somehow in all the happening, we managed to click a group photo so here it is :)

An avenue for “hard” conversations

One interesting activity they did was something called lightning talks when everyone got in a circle and anyone can share anything they wanted by stepping forward. It could be a personal reflection, public rant, a resolution, an observation, a complaint, anything. In my first LT, I called out for a co-founder. Someone remarked how efficient and well-planned these workshops were and for good reason. I was amazed at how much ground I had covered in just 2 days! In my last lightning talk, I decided to throw away the list of things I had prepared to talk about and pointed out how the last three days have been an avenue for me to structure my own thoughts and beliefs, to engage in deeply intellectual conversations, and to learn to assimilate and profess new thoughts.

Then, I somehow found myself talking to August, a recent masters graduate from the Norwegian Uni of Life Sciences, about systems and beliefs and politics. It turned into an exciting dialogue when you really start to resonate with the other person on almost all fundamental beliefs. I don’t know how the 2 hours went away to be honest! My takeaway? Spending time appreciating nature would be nice.

Finally, almost everyone ended up at the socialisation room (the same place where I and Chris meditated) and we ended up like an angry beehive buzzing through the quiet Oxford countryside! I explained a multi-variable calculus topic to Timothee from France. And then, talked about community-building with Anette from Sweden! Then, I decided to call it a day and retired to bed.

That’s it for Part 1

Phew, it’s already 3.5k words! Thank you, dearest reader, for sticking around! Will continue the adventure in a part 2 (hopefully)!

Part 2 is here . Enjoy!

Footnotes

1: Pretty sure, this is a very standard result found in all accounting textbooks. But to derive it out of thin air with intuition was a fun mental exercise.

2: What? I take my food very seriously.

3: That is, when I was not busy staring outside via onboard cameras or browsing through their excellent collection of songs.

4: In hindsight, the last day of the year is the best time to recall all the adventures and fun I have had. Now that I look back, I have certainly grown and flourished and observed and cherished.

5: Okay, this wasn’t that big of a deal because I had international debit card but didn’t realise till the last day that I can use it to pay.

6: I’ll stop being dramatic, hehe.

Hacking Wordle Blitz

gs454236@gmail.com (Basil Labib) — Tue, 19 Dec 2023 04:36:28 +0530

Apologies for not blogging in like forever. Funny things have been happening in my life lately, perhaps the most funny is the concentration of all trips and “vacations” in my end-semester holidays. You might call that lucky but I quickly learnt that vacations are supposed to be evenly distributed, atleast from the actually-destressing-and-not-getting-tired-as-hell-from-travelling-and-not-being-able-to-catch-a-breath perspective.

During my entire end-sem holidays, my itinerary allowed me 5 days of staying at home. Just 5. Before you hasten to the conclusion that 5 days is a lot of time to chill and relax, you must understand that there are relatives and friends to meet to maintain “diplomatic relations”. There goes my chill and relax.

Anyways, I’m not pissed. This information is important to put what follows in context (And also, to rant a bit :P)

It cannot be any worse. Right? RIGHT? Guess what, one of my good friends who is the secretary of the Literary club at my college approached me with the request to build a competition portal for a blitz Wordle game as soon as I landed at home. HaHa.

I accepted.¹

This post chronicles how I hacked together the above portal in 2 days (and with a lot of procrastination).

Baby steps

First, I had to find an open-source codebase to start with. Given that the competition was in one week, it would be stupid to attempt to make a Wordle clone from scratch. Luckily, I found this cute and very nicely structured codebase on Github which I forked.

I spent sometime studying and mapping out functionalities, state changes, and components. Steadily, I started commenting out components and looking at the results (to see what breaks). All good, which means I am beginning to understand how the code is wired. Simultaneously, I started designing a flow for the app mentally which would be the path of least resistance with respect to debugging (as any respectable developer will tell you, no such path exists).

It’s a good idea to talk about the structure of this specific competition². It was supposed to be a timed 30 minutes non-stop contest where the puzzle resets each time the current one is solved or all guesses are exhausted. Words would be non-skippable and picked at random from a list of words for each users so that no word list for two users are same.

At first, I thought a very basic token system would do. Just map each registered email against a token and send the token as a query param to some kind of /saveRoundData endpoint on the backend to authorise user. I dismissed this idea quickly due to the possibility of token exchange or other funny things between users or just accidental tampering with the token. There has to be a backend service since the game data would have to be persisted. And there has to be a proper user authorisation with a User model. and what’s a better method to authenticate than my handy JWTs. Also, I have experience with them, no nasty database calls, clean, and simple.³ Sigh, did I just make my life more difficult for an informal event that doesn’t even hold that much value?

It’s `useState()` all the way down

That’s when I decided to put a brake on the user authentication subsystem and work on the actual game flow itself. There were a bunch of state management to hack into and to ensure that the flow was as per the expected business need. Besides, completing this part would just make me happy and motivated to work more.

The code base was in typescript and God only knows why tsc doesn’t like me at all. Made a few edits and a stream of errors pop up. Somehow bash those and new ones pop up. Anyhow, braved my way through this typescript mania to arrive at a somewhat stable (but still buggy) front end. In hindsight, I think typescript is a million types better than javascript and I strongly recommend it over vanilla JS for large projects. Datatype information can save tons of development and debugging time.

Right now, I have the frontend without any backend service feeding it. I move on to the next word on win or lose and words are chosen at random. Moreover, I have made a roundData object that captures metadata about each round’s progress and saves it to localStorage. Neat!

GameData schema

I had originally intended the app to make a server call on every round clearance for each user but then decided against it simply because I would be hosting the app on a free tier vercel instance and I have issues with latency on it. 200 odd disgruntled users would resend the request and soon it will be helltown for my free instance. Although, I think it would still have been able to withstand the anticipated load, I was too lazy to do the math and took the conservative path of saving the roundData on the client side and sending one final request to log the entire array at the end of the countdown.

Now, some of you might have raised your eyebrows high and said “Waaaaiiittt a minute” and I totally get you. I was counting on the fact that no one would be able to open the network and storage tabs, figure this out, and then manually change the array by hand in 30 minutes. The portal link was anyways private and only accessible at the start of the event so I thought this was a reasonable assumption to make.⁴

`passport.authenticate()`

I started fleshing out the auth API using this nice blog post as a reference. It was coming along fine other than a few minor hiccups around Headers and Param types which I identified and resolved. The VS Code Postman extension is such a blessing.

Then, I bumped into a 400 Bad Request on hitting /login with valid credentials. Huh? WHERE IS MY JWT?! I checked and rechecked and banged my head against the wall for a good hour trying different ways to get under the hood of what’s going on. After accepting defeat, I headed over to Stackoverflow and humbly typed my query “passport.authenticate returns bad request” and turns out passport has been a bad boy lately. After scrolling to the end of the thread, I realised maybe I’m messing up the field names (Oh, wow what a revelation) and realised that perhaps passport is opinionated about what goes into its strategy callback function. Fair enough. Problem resolved. For the time being anyways.

Asking the right questions ft. ChatGPT

In my current flow, the countdown is an important component to ensure fairness and a useable app so I set out to refine it. The react-countdown component turned out to be horrible in being unable to retain state across page refreshes and I thought that’s probably okay if I assume people won’t refresh their page during the game which is another sane assumption to make. No JK. But then I noticed timer reset on every keystroke. Bruh.

yarn remove react-countdown after spending another half an hour pouring over countdown’s documentation. How do I implement a simple countdown that retains state across page refresh? This seemed like a common and solved problem.

So, I asked ChatGPT to generate the code for me. And I must say, it did a pretty good job. Updating the timer state in a useEffect block using a pair of setTimeout and clearTimeout and storing timer to localStorage. One fine point though, the initial value of timer was also supposed to be set by first trying to read localStorage and find a stale value which was done conveniently in a callback to useState. Neat again!

At this point, I have pushed my repos to GitHub and setup vercel projects. I could see the project coming to an end and I was elated. Let me just go through the flow one more time, I thought. I generated a new user, took the credentials and tried to login. Worked like a charm! I cleared the token and tried to login with an incorrect password and it…worked like a charm!

Sigh. Back to the drawing board. Bunch of console.logs in and I still couldn’t figure out what’s wrong. This was, by far, the hardest bug to find because I trusted the code from that blogpost I linked earlier. The problem was in the password hash matching middleware that I copied verbatim from the website. I logged the hashes of the input password and the user password (which was saved to the database) and they turned out to be different. All good up to this point. Then I realised that upon failure of bcrpyt.compare, the Promise has to be rejected. This conditional was missing. I added that and bug resolved. Two lines of code.

This bug made me realised that there are probably many more such edge case bugs lying undetected just because I didn’t write tests. I sighed. This was enough. I’m done. The user flow works properly. Authorisation works properly and I’m getting my data logged at the end of the timer which is pretty much fool-proof. I should call it a day (or night, I dont remember).

I pushed to prod, dropped a message and went to sleep. I still had to create those users and send them their credentials. And I had to pack for my flight to Heathrow. Oh well.

Generating user password was a function I copied from Stackoverflow. A 6-character alphanumeric was sufficient for the desired security level. I whipped up a utility ‘/signupmany’ endpoint on the server and fed it a JSON.stringify-ied list of users. 200 OK.

Made few changes to a python mailing script lying around and added my spare account app password. Drafted a beautiful email (Ugh, shouldn’t this be done by the secretary. I thought it’s better to avoid delays anyway) Tested. Got the email. Viola.

Ran a few more tests, added a bunch of try/except blocks (not too many though) and debug statements. Loaded the users.json and ran the script. 227 people were spammed by Purple Santa (my alt account name ^_^)

I shut my laptop and started packing. My name would either go down in history in golden letters or people will curse my name for ages. Moreover, I might have put my friendship in jeopardy. Moreover, I wouldn’t know what happened until 8pm GMT which is around 4 hours after the competition in India. Sometimes, my life decisions surprises even me.⁵

I looked back at the code and thought of some obvious edits to make the user experience better but I let it go. Those state change loaders would have been nice. And perhaps a voluntary quit button for people stuck in the middle of the game and having better things to do.

EDIT: The app turned out to be a success. Hurray! As I connected to the Heathrow WiFi, a stream of notifications and congratulations started pouring in. I was elated. People had used my code and they had loved it. I was fascinated to realise that the line between those messages being of curses and boos was ice thin. It was a bunch of try/catchs at the end of the day that saved me. That’s probably the biggest lesson of this fascinating experience. Who says that one can’t have an adventure sitting in front of a keyboard?

Oh, what a lovely day! The world is saved yet again by untested code pushed to production by a wilful developer who believes in God.

PS: I logged into the database and realised a mismatch between the number of gameEntry objects and gameData objects created. Hmmmm. So, just to be safe, I noted the startTimestamp of each user id upon first login to serve as the baseline in calculating the time deltas for each round completion later. (I have deliberately tried to keep this post jargon free but if you wish to look at the schema or the code, here they are: frontend and backend ). My conjecture is that people logged in but left the game midway/closed the tab. That voluntary quit button would have been nice after all.

PPS: (Dec 21st) Just added a Result page to the app which shows very basic personalised performance report for each user. The metrics shown were: total attempted, wins, loses, average time per solve (basically 1800 seconds divided by the total puzzles seen), and number of tries for each word. I think this additional feature makes for a cute uupgrade in terms of completeness. How the results looked like?

Total 228 participants
Average score of 31.28 (A multiplier table of 10 points for getting it right on the 1st attempt and subsequent decreasing points for more guesses was used)
Average number of attempts is 16.44
Average number of wins is 12.22
Hardest word to solve was ZOOEY (based on the number of guesses required by most people)
Easiest word to solve was ABASH (based on the number of guesses required by most people)

The podium finishes all scored 100+ 🤯 and the first had an insane average time to solve of around 24 seconds with 76% accuracy!

Fin.

Footnotes

1: Partly because I love lit club and would hate to see one more event not organised and also partly because all attempts to pass it on to other people failed 💀

2: If you’re not familiar with classic Wordle, you may check out this video.

3: I hoped Passport library would come in handy.

4: Moreover, I will obviously run basic analysis on the gameData to find out if someone cheated by flagging outliers and extremely exceptional performers.

5: Okay, I must admit. I was enjoying the adrenaline rush. The idea of writing code that people would interact with and the whole thing being setup in a delayed black box fashion made me more excited than nervous. Besides, I somewhat trust the code I write, okay? Somewhat is the operative part here, of course.

6: You might have noticed that I have been chattier than usual. That’s partly because I haven’t written in a while and this feels nice and also because I’m sitting here all alone and bored at LHR airport waiting for a senior to join.

Are we not safe on campus anymore?

gs454236@gmail.com (Basil Labib) — Sun, 05 Nov 2023 11:24:16 +0530

A commentary on the systems that safeguard us

A 21 year-old female student was molested on IIT-BHU campus on Thursday morning. Around 2000 students boycotted academic activities and staged a protest demanding arrest of the perpetrators, enhanced security on campus, and resignation of the institute’s director. As per preliminary report, authorities have taken action and increased security on campus.

Crime against women in a society

Crime in society is seen as an indicator of the general conscience and aspiration of the people. There is an established negative correlation between the prosperity and welfare of a society and crime rates in that society. Although it is not possible to reduce crime rates to zero, the kind of crimes committed gives us a window into the value system of the inhabitants. Women crime is one of the lowest and most demeaning forms of atrocities that a society has to face, perhaps only above war crimes and totalitarian compromise of human rights. When one woman’s safety is compromised, fingers are not only raised on the perpetrator but on the society as a whole. And to imagine the crime committed inside an educational institution often touted as an “Institute of Eminence” is not just a compromise of human rights but an attack on our fundamental values.

Reactionary vs Precautionary

Once again, the systems that we have established to safeguard our citizens are often based on what I call the “reactionary” model rather than the “precautionary” model. We wait for something to go wrong before trying to fix the damage rather than evolve precautionary systems that would never let anything go wrong. From a pragmatic perspective, reactionary models are preferred because predicting everything that can possibly go wrong is almost impossible or just too expensive. This is why security systems tend to grow complacent over time and wait for something bad to happen before springing back to action. Security cameras go bust and nobody bothers to fix them, security guards stop diligently checking identity cards, and even students start flouting rules because “as everything is going well, they will probably also go well in the future.” This is why precautionary systems with humans in the loop tend to fail.

Curbing the oppressed

One of the characteristics of reactionary systems is heightened response to a failure in an attempt to contain the damage and repercussions. Historically, in the case of transgression against women, this translates to stronger monitoring and more regulations for appropriate conduction and lifestyle of women. Gradually, the rules become more restricting and constrain the freedom of the oppressed. Policing systems evolve to restrict the movement of women around campus and more stringent monitoring systems will be put in place. I am not in a position to comment on the efficacy of such an arrangement to protect women but it will surely cost the oppressed group a systematic exclusion from enjoying basic human rights such as the choice to go for a walk at 1 am without any fear - something that most of us take for granted.

What institutions and policy-makers should realise is that this approach is detrimental in the long-run as it intrinsically creates an environment where the oppressed come to see themselves as the cause of the problem. What’s worse is such systems percolate down and pollute our languages and hence our conscience with phrases and ideas, thereby strongly biassing us towards a particular narrative. For example, attire is often targeted as a means to criticise the oppressed and justify an unwanted incident.

Possible roads ahead

What must be done to ensure that our temples of learning maintain their sanctity? A gradual overhaul of our beliefs and biases starting right from the words we use to address victims and criminals to starting a collaborative community-driven approach to formulating rules and regulations should be the first step. The onus of reform should shift from the victims to the transgressors who are generally men - a lifelong reform program to instil in our men a deep seated respect for women. And finally, ensuring that future laws and policies do not systematically demonise the oppressed. Building a truly safe campus is possibly a distant utopia but any attempt towards such a utopia is progress.

What If Zeus Was Right?

gs454236@gmail.com (Basil Labib) — Mon, 25 Sep 2023 21:06:11 +0530

The myth of Prometheus is a famous story that talks about the titular demigod who stole fire from Zeus and gave it as a gift to humans. Zeus got pissed and as a punishment, chained him and directed an eagle to eat his liver every day which would grow back the next day ¹. But what is the point of this story? What should we learn from it?

I am in my junior year at a premier engineering school and am supposed to make a few critical life decisions by the end of this year. Although, it might not strike as obvious but as I think about what I want to do post university, I increasingly find myself in the shoes of my dear Prometheus.

Setting the ground

Sometime back, I had this intriguing conversation with a friend with a decent job offer but prior active interest in research. The conversation revolved around their apprehensions to commit to the research path realising that it is an arduous one and that the job pays well (disproportionately well according to industry standards) which would ensure a prosperous life ahead. As you may imagine, this all boils down to the obvious question: research or job?³

Ignorance or apathy?

As the conversation unfolded, I realised how incredibly inept our education system is in preparing us to make these important decisions in life. The irony is that IIT Delhi teaches us about language, ethics, and “professional responsibility” but fails to acknowledge that decision-making is an important issue that is faced by thousands of students every year and feigns ignorance².

Money as an instrumental goal

A strong argument in favour of the job path is simply that money is an instrumental goal for almost any imaginable terminal goal. No matter what the future might hold or one’s future wants changes, with money almost all such demands can be met. Thus, acquiring money should be a first subgoal. No doubt about it.

Economic sorting

But at the same time, imagine this scenario: around 10 lakh students sit for JEE and around 5K get into the top IITs. Controlling for other factors, they are the best minds in the country. Now, if one examines the economic structure of society, it is based on an ability-based pay model which basically means that people sort themselves into occupation automatically based on their skills and talents - something that I call “economic sorting”. A society functions if all occupations are filled by competent individuals, right from the garbage collector to the top scientists in the country ⁴.

Upward mobility in this hierarchy is implicitly restricited. But the other way around is not. Now, imagine if the doctor refuses to perform his duty and chooses to become a saint. Sure, nothing wrong about it. That’s freedom of choice. Now, what if groups of doctors giving up their profession and becoming saints for some macroscopic reason. Well, as a society, we’re screwed because there is a competency-production mismatch. A doctor is a valuable asset of the society because there are few of them then house-helps and so on. We might not realise but 10 lakh to 5K compression applied means that there are very few students with the developed and trained mental faculties to even comprehend the kind of problems that humanity faces at an abstract level. Thus, it is a responsibility of these bright minds to solve those problems that are hard (or outright incomprehensible) for the majority.

Why economic sorting makes sense

But why should anyone? Why should I “sacrifice” my life to something that is less rewarding when I clearly have the choice? Well, simply because that ensures long-term sustenance of humanity and makes a net positive society in terms of outcome. Think of the counterfactual scenario when people refused to work for high-stakes low-reward jobs. What’s the worst that can happen? Important research would be delayed. Research leads to better technology which leads to more economic productivity (for brevity, let’s call this the amount of work needed to earn 1 dollar). So, now we have to work harder. Harder work means more miserable working conditions which means more inequality between the haves and the have-nots which means more social unrest and thus, an unstable and unhappy society for everyone. I haven’t touched upon the impact on the environment and the earth in general. As long as we don’t conquer the stars, the earth is our only abode and thus protecting it as a collective measure makes sense. One of the reasons why rich countries pay poor countries to pollute less. Since the counterfactual outcome is undesirable by any sound human being, economic sorting makes sense.

The road less travelled is also the hardest road

Let us not kid ourselves though. If I have one piece of chapati and I was with another person. If my objective was to make everyone better off, I would have to give half of my food to him which leaves me with only half a chapati now which is, however, enough for my hunger. In general, people will eat the whole chapati alone and let the other person starve. Greed is a deeply ingrained human tendency which shapes most of our modern societal structures - the basis of a capitalist society, for example. There’s nothing bad about capitalism, in fact, it’s a magnificent example of how microscopic incentives can be harnessed to enable macroscopic behaviour in non-trusting strangers but it clearly doesn’t support long-term equitable sustenance. The problem arises from the majority low-stakes high-pay driven by a capitalist motivation strongly inducing the minority high-stakes low-pay to deviate.

The current dilemma: What if Zeus was right?

Imagine a scenario when one did spend their life researching forgoing wealth and comfort and in fact enduring much struggle and toil. Is it worth it? If you have been rational, then clearly not. You are the biggest non-rational person to have chosen a path of minimum personal utility when there was an alternative higher valued option. What did Prometheus gain from being irrational and giving the fire to humanity? And this is where my current dilemma lies; which also happens to be the curious title of this post. What if Zeus was right? The entire argument for sacrificing one’s life for others rests on the assumption that a world without it would not survive. But that doesn’t imply that the world with such sacrifice is bound to survive.

Groups of humans are inefficient and conflicting structures. They have never been able to gain amicable consensus on decision-making or direct collective effort for a long sustainable time. What is the point of giving the fire to others if they would destroy the “purity” of it by exploiting it and eventually destroying us and the planet anyway? In fact, this was one of the justifications used by the proponents of colonisation - most humans are not educated, therefore their decisions are inherently flawed. Therefore, they need to be ~~governed~~ guided by a small set of more able humans.

What’s the point anyway?

Phew, where are we after all this? Should one go for research or a job? To be honest, I don’t know. But that seems to be the case with most people. This post intended to show the nuances of reasoning that goes on to these life critical decisions. And how most of us are so terrible at it.

Footnotes

1: Clearly, the Greeks liked such perpetual recursive punishments. Cue in Tantalos and Atlas.

2: I hope our incredibly frank and funny Dean of Academics will take note of this and take tangible steps towards filling this gaping hole.

3: This question may not even arise for most students but in this particular case, we are specifically talking about people who have two options that roughly lie on the same utility boundary.

4: Sure, you can talk about equal opportunities for individuals and bring in human rights but the argument isn’t about the state and its duties. From a purely economic standpoint, the above argument holds.

Common Fallacies in Human Reasoning

gs454236@gmail.com (Basil Labib) — Fri, 22 Sep 2023 10:23:26 +0530

The human mind is a wonderful example of emergent behaviour. A certain number of neurons fire together in coordination to give rise to conscious optimisers that are able to take independent decisions. And yet, the human mind is a morally and rationally flawed apparatus. One constantly encounters situations in day-to-day life when they are faced with a moral crisis - a dead-end in the decision making process if one is assumed to be guided by a set of principles.

In this post, I’ll explore a few logical fallacies that if not overlooked and corrected for can lead to a more enriching living experience. The fallacies I note here can be explored from a sociological, economical, or psychological lens and would ideally lead to different conclusions.

Disordered causality

Man plants seeds in his backyard.
After some time, saplings sprout in his backyard.

2 is caused by 1. This is a pretty simple one-directional causal relation. But identifying causal relationships in real life is messy and complicated. It is important to perform this identification because it allows us to attribute importance to actions correctly and hence optimise our behaviour. In the above example, what if the man also performs a shamanic dance whenever he plants seeds in his backyard for whatever reason?

Man performs shamanic dance in his backyard.
After some time, saplings sprout in his backyard.

This is, of course, absurd to us because we have out-of-context knowledge (namely the scientifically proven theory of flora growth). But as you can imagine, dismissing a complex relationship as absurd and to even consider the existence of a secondary cause requires external knowledge which is not generally available for most humans.

A very common example is the fake sense of entitlement that some IITian derive from being IITians. Their reasoning is based on the institute’s reputation which is based on the long history of talented and skilled engineers who have proved themselves on their own merit around the globe. This reputation has nothing to do with their own merit. IIT is a filter that brings together the smartest and sincere students together. It never promised to be a ticket to heaven.

Heuristic inference

In the face of complex computation, our brain makes “reasonable” approximations to quickly find answers and make decisions. These heuristical inferences must have served us well because evolution has ingrained us with it. But they are not always right - especially in an environment evolving at a mismatched rate to the evolution of the mind.

Age and seniority is considered a mark of wisdom. Older people have lived for longer and have more experience. Therefore, they must be wiser. This may not always be true and can lead to devastating results if left unchallenged. What we forget to take into account is the quality of experiences; the quality of experiences can differ wildly in the modern context and people at different stages of life can have disproportionately varying quality of experiences and by extension, wisdom¹.

Alternatively, which is better: spending 25 years of one’s life honing one particular skill and becoming 99.9% good at it or to spend 8 years of one’s life to become 80% good at 5 different things? Opportunity costs forces us to rethink our basic model of evaluating humans and human values.

One possible solution to the seniority-wisdom disparity problem is to move towards a different indicator. I lay more emphasis on personal projects done by a person than their resumes (which I think fails to serve its purpose anyway²).

Popular value systems

It is extremely easy to fool oneself into thinking that they need things that others do. Or are capable of doing things that others do. Every person behaves according to their own internal value system either consciously or subconsciously (the “set of principles” I mentioned before). The problem arises when value systems tend to converge onto “popular” ones.

What do I even mean? Let’s say your friend winds down by partying on weekends. But that doesn’t necessarily imply that partying on weekends would help you release your stress. Their value system and yours are not identical. In the absence of sufficient awareness, one’s mind latches onto the first value system it finds and tries to “rationalise” it . This microscopic behaviour leads to the macroscopic phenomenon of gradual convergence of value systems for majority people. This leads to development of human institutions and social structures that rewards people with such value systems and penalise everyone else.

This is bad news because we want varied value systems but more importantly, the incentive for people to experiment with new value systems without being heavily penalised. An appallingly nasty example is the concreted career paths available to youths in India.

End-goal misalignment

Sufficiently rational agents would tend to optimise the signal that measures a metric rather than the metric itself. One might learn for learning’s sake but once they start to notice that learning for exams is enough to get them marks they will shift their worldview from “study for life” to “study for exam”. This is probably known to a lot of smarter people than me. But the real problem arises out of the ignorance and disregard to acknowledge this as a socio-economic problem. I have heard professors and teachers sermonise about the merits of a good education, one that values learning over evaluation and asking us to “try”. What most people fail to assimilate is the fact that deviating from an optimal strategy is a long-term loss game and no rational agent would take that path. Thus, we have engineered a social system where the optimal strategy is a long-term undesirable one.

End-goal misalignment is closely tied to the principal-agent problem which is unsolved as of yet. I’ll talk about this in detail in a future post.

Temporal goal discounting

Let us assume that you are a rational agent trying to live your life according to your own value system. You may have some goals that you wish to achieve in the future. You may then proceed to define smaller subgoals (so-called “instrumental goals” ) that you think will help you achieve your goal.

However, more often than not, you will make the mistake of discounting the set of skills and indeed all experiences that you will gather along the way to your goal temporally. This may not seem like a big issue but if you are constantly updating your world view based on new information, you may develop better subgoals to achieve your goal or perhaps realise your goal is actually another instrumental goal for something else entirely.

This is bad news because it deeply skewed a rational agent’s agenda to achieve any goal. Moreover, it presents a real difficulty to train a sufficiently general and intelligent system that updates an internal worldview based on new information. As soon as it updates its worldview, the system must recalculate its trajectory to achieve its goal and so on. In principle, we must recalibrate our trajectories every moment (which, of course, is absurd). Thus, we are stuck with a new worldview with a stale set of trajectories to achieve our goals.

Corrective measures

What can we do to combat these fallacies (and possibly many more)? Here I present a few higher level ways that I find most appealing. Be warned that they heavily deviate from the “optimal” or rational and are scientifically untested although backed by much empirical data.

A recurrent shortcoming that seems to have fueled or augmented the above fallacies arises from a constrained worldview. This is the internal mental picture of how the world works. Thus, to get better at making decisions would require a deliberate attempt to internalise new ideas. To be constantly vigilant and wary of the internal world state and keep in mind the unknown unknowns out there. A concrete step which has been empirically proven to work is by reading. It is a good habit.

I’ll stop here and will hopefully update this post with more fallacies as I encounter them in my life.

Footnotes

1: Why? This can be a topic of discussion for another post but I can broadly attribute this change to the democratisation of information.

2: Resumes have become avenues for people to selectively present their best versions which incentivises large populations to converge on the notion of a “best” resume over time, thereby defeating the purpose of revealing one’s true identity.

The Office: Learnings from the American sitcom

gs454236@gmail.com (Basil Labib) — Sat, 16 Sep 2023 01:56:58 +0530

“I wish there was a way to know you’re in the good old days before you’ve actually left them.”

— Andy Bernard, S9E25 (Finale)

I recently finished watching The Office , often lauded as one of the most successful of American sitcoms. Running over 9 seasons¹, it chronicles the tale of a small American paper company and its employees in the form of a mockumentary - a scripted show shot as a documentary. The cut shots of characters clarifying or putting down their internal thoughts imbues the show with freshness and excitement. Of course, I loved the show (what’s there not to like?); the characters and their stories and how everything falls into place eventually. However, this post is about analysing the Office from a pragmatic psychological viewpoint. I intend to present what I learnt from the Office.

Micheal Scott

“I knew exactly what to do. But in a much more real sense, I had no idea what to do.”

— Michael Scott

Micheal Scott (played by Steve Carell) is the glue that binds the Office together. I was hooked on his character right from the first episode² and his quirky, whole-hearted approach to interacting with other people. Sometimes, I used to suspect if there’s another person inside ~~Kevin~~ Micheal who is devilishly oblivious to social etiquettes. And yet, through his obnoxious, scandalous ways shines through his legendary unorthodox management skills, fueled by charisma and an insane amount of self-obsession and esteem. Micheal is a beaming paragon of self-confidence and where it can take someone.

“Sometimes I’ll start a sentence and I don’t even know where it’s going. I just hope I find it along the way. Like an improv conversation.”

— Michael Scott

Dwight K. Schrute

“There’s too many people on this earth. We need a new plague.”

— Dwight K. Schrute

Second to Micheal is the ever schemer of evil deeds, a self-styled sadist, entrepreneur, Dwight - an…urhm…“esoteric” person who made me swoon countless times. As I recount his borderline maniacal activities at Dunder Mifflin with a silent smile, I am also reminded of a man who placed discipline and determination above everything else. And it is his strong-willed, singular focus in life (not to mention his fanatic devotion to Micheal) that enables him to triumph in the end, him eventually ending up as the new regional manager of the Scranton branch, fathering a child from the love of his life, and inheriting a 1600-acre farm as heirloom. Against all odds, discipline triumphs - that’s what Dwight stands for.

“R is among the most menacing of sounds. That’s why they call it murder and not muckduck.”

— Dwight K. Schrute

Jim Halpert

“Bears, beets, Battlestar Galactica.”

— Jim Halpert (pretending to be Dwight)

There’s always this one person in a sitcom who you just wanna see happy from the first episode. Presenting to you Jim Halpert, a charming young fellow stuck in a small meaningless job at a paper company. And yet through his decade at Dunder Mifflin, he falls in love, marries, and raises a family and earns respect and fosters friendships.

It’s okay to goof around and it’s absolutely okay to feel lost. Everyone else is on the same boat because no one knows what’ll happen tomorrow. It’s truly a blessing to be clear on one’s priorities and be able to act on them.

Pam Beesly

The love interest of Jim Halpert in the obligatory office couple romance trope of every sitcom out there. Maybe one doesn’t have to search too far. What one seeks is inside of them or sitting right in front of them.

Angela Martin

I never thought I would be including Angela in this post but oh well. Angela is the short shrewd lady at DM and my personal first impressions of her were not that “great”. But I realised how she projects her own sense of self-importance and doesn’t give in to other people’s whims just to be likeable. You can be (sometimes overtly) hygienic or smug and still pull it off, who knows.

Darryl Philbin

Darryl is perhaps the only guy in the office with considerable sense and intelligence and yet being in the minority classes, he is adamant and steady, taking one step at the time and climbing the corporate ladder. He is a no-shit person who brings great ideas and yet can be a heartwarming and doting father when the need arises.

Andrew Bernard

I cannot talk about Office without talking about Andrew Bernard A.K.A. the “Nard dog” and possibly the most flamboyant of all DM employees. The one thing that stood out for me was his impossible relationship with Erin Hannon. Although they made an ideal cute couple, by showing that they didn’t end up together (which I internally prayed for even till the last episode), they show a starker side of reality - one not of meet cutes and romantic dates but one of life itself where things go wrong or they don’t work out and however endearing a thing might be, might not be meant to be. And that to me seems like a powerful lesson to learn from the office.

Criticism

“I’m not superstitious…but I’m a little stitious.”

— Michael Scott

Feel free to skip this section, it’s just me ranting about some scripting inconsistencies I found/felt in the office.

Micheal was pretty wild and unhinged in the beginning seasons and then they probably rewrote the character to make it more “irritable” (likeable still but not so much). I saw Micheal as a maverick which was not quite there towards his ending appearances.

Also, was it only me or did they cuss more often in the last seasons?

And of course, the bane of all sitcoms - romance subplots. Jim-Pam made sense, but I really don’t understand why they had to bring in Kelly-Ryan, Dwight-Angela, Micheal-Holly, Andy-Erin. At one point, it got confusing because literally everyone was suddenly involved in an office romance. Too many cooks spoil the broth. The initial seasons were good because they elegantly balanced Jim-Pam cute hideaway romances with relevant pressing office issues. It sort of lost that charm towards the ending seasons.

Conclusion

What started out as a depiction of an average American small business company turned out to be a masterclass in life itself complete with fostering friendships and relationships. I can go on about the office about how wholesome and tasteful it is and its marvellous treatment of entertainment and comedy.

“I feel like all my kids grew up, and then they married each other. It’s every parent’s dream.”

– Michael Scott S9E25, Finale

Oh Michael.

—

FOOTNOTES

1: A very very bad time to binge on the series for which I got pretty heavily (and justifably) criticised by my mentor.

2: Fun fact: I actually started watching from the second episode “Diversity Day” I don’t know why but yeah. I watched the pilot after the finale.

Textile@IITD: Through the eyes of a UG junior student

gs454236@gmail.com (Basil Labib) — Tue, 01 Aug 2023 20:38:11 +0530

INTRODUCTION

I have spent a year in the Textile and Fibre Engineering department of IIT Delhi pursuing a Bachelor of Technology and a minor from the Computer Science department. My designation qualifies me to write this highly opinionated post which is a collection of my experiences and my interpretations for some of them. The value comes from the fact that I make an unbiased review of the department with no filters. This document can serve as a guide for aspiring Textile students at IIT Delhi, current students to guide them in their education, and even professors, administration, and educationists to guide their pedagogical approach.

Note: My experiences are, for better or worse, limited to the UG programme only.

THE PRIOR CONTEXT

One of the first representative experiences for first year students is the subtle branch based discrimination and the nucleation of groups based on it. Although the clustering and formation of impenetrable groups are less prominent in first year as the courses are taken with no regards to department, the bias exists and gets ugly many a times. Casual jokes and snarky remarks about JEE rank and departments are common and even stereotypes based on which department one belongs to (The IITD slang for a Textile student is a Tatta, which means scrotum in English). Just like the natural tendency for humans to hierarchise everything, there exists a well-ordering principle for branches at IITD wherein CS occupies the highest place and Textile the lowest.

This creates a deep-seated psychological dynamic in the minds of Textile peeps which is almost impossible to get rid of unless someone is extremely confident about themselves. Fortunately (and I make this statement based on observations of my batch), students who come to IITD are significantly more “aware” about themselves and smarter on average than the general populace who sit for JEE. This somewhat cushions the dark abyss into what someone can inadvertently fall into if they are exposed to the toxic first year environment very much prevalent in IIT Delhi. I can only imagine the sheer insecurity and hopelessness that a Textile student at a Tier 2 or Tier 3 college would face.

It is not a lie that Textile students lack severe engineering aptitude when it comes to academics. This is confirmed by the well-ordering principle applied to JEE ranks and subsequent CGPAS at the end of year 1 (Again, I don’t have exact data but observations about my batch supports the supposition). One problem that severely aggravates the academic divide between a Textile student and an average IITD student is the role of reservations. Being one of the least sought-after branches at IITD, most students are attracted by the brand value of IITD solely. This allows a larger proportion of not-so-academically-inclined students to get admitted to the department. However, they are expected to compete with every branch and it is simply not possible to get up to speed with a meritorious and sincere student in the first year. This leads to Textile students having some of the lowest mean CGPAs across all branches.

Now let me talk about the other side of the coin - the merit of a Textile student. As noted before, an IITian is and will always be better than the average engineering student. They may not have studied for long hours during JEE prep but most of the students are smart. This is where I’ll introduce the first problem of the department.

THE COURSEWORK

One of the first course Textile students take in their 2nd year is Textile Fibres (TXL111) - a course which is extremely heavy on factual information that one is supposed to rote-learn. There is no other way for a student to get a good grade except to remember a few numerical facts such as density of cotton etc. For an IITian, this is a serious matter of insult. At least, that’s how I felt most students take up the coursework in my experience.

I also understand that course experience is highly professor dependent but the inherent coursework is so unappealing, ancient, and disconnected with modern textile engineering practices that it ends up being heavily resented by students. I remember the course Yarn Manufacturing 1 (TXL221) I took in my 4th semester and the coursework was so disorganised and abrupt. There were very few concepts and no structure to any of them or how they relate to one another. It was impossible to follow the material through lectures and I had to pass that course somehow. The slides were very old and badly developed. It was evident that the same material was recycled each year.

THE PROFESSOR

The course coordinator or the professor is one parameter that is immutable for a student. One can opt or or drop a course but they have no control over the choice of professor at IITD. This creates very interesting dynamics and leads to further fractionalisation of students (Although, I suspect this is not a Textile specific phenomenon, it is, however, definitely a IITD phenomenon). Continuing the example of TXL221, there was a major disconnect between what the professor taught versus what he expected us to regurgitate in the exam. The marking scheme is prof-dependent and is one of the most opaque and harsh in the Textile department. So, there was a lot of surprise when the first minor exam marks came in and a random student got the highest and the class toppers got apparently random marks (myself included although I wasn’t lucky enough to land on the upper side of the class average).

Eventually, a small section of the batch realised how to game the system by learning how to write rather than what to learn. Thus, the optimisation is greatly skewed towards how to maximise marks obtained in an exam rather than to maximise learning. This can lead to a lot of interesting things such as but not limited to, following every single, however ridiculous, whim of the professor, grading policy, and exam pattern. I have seen my friends memorise everything just to regurgitate it on paper for the sake of marks. It is an extremely sad and ugly affair.

The situation is not as hopeless and horrible as it seems. There are sparks of great teaching also. Although I got the lowest possible grade in TXL221, I also got the highest grade possible in another course in the same semester. When I look back, it was a combination of a terse and extremely structured course content and an extremely passionate teacher who evidently put a lot of effort in the course. And by no means was this course “easy”, it was one of the most challenging and tricky courses for me but I knew what was happening and I think that matters a lot to students.

Course content and student expectation mismatch

Textile@IITD courses are not “easy”, they are logical and analytical and expect effort from the students but it still lacks in terms of rigour as compared to an average IITD course. Perhaps it is because of a complete lack of mathematics. Definitions are loosely defined, concepts may feel hollow at times and the course material simply superfluous.

Secondly, professors are forced to implement ridiculous policies ranging from roll call attendance to surprise quizzes just to make sure students are engaged in the class. I can understand how this is a serious pedagogical problem - how to teach something to students who are entirely disinterested in learning? However, this only lowers the reputation of the branch in the eyes of the students who feel like they are being treated as children.

Non-uniform and non-standardised evaluation

Unfairness prevails in the department as students are incentivised to mug up one day before exams, rampantly cheat without shame, and game the system in whatever way possible. A glaring example of this is seen in lab courses (TXPXXX) where marking schemes are geared towards ensuring students turn up rather than ensuring that they get something of value. It is a common practice to allocate 50% of the weightage on attendance and so on. Class participation is valued but that is mostly an eyewash as the process is highly non-institutionalised with very biassed or incorrect assumptions about what “class participation” even means. Vivas are conducted by equally disinterested TAs and are simply decorative in nature and anyone keen to game the system only has to pay a little attention. The tragedy of the situation is that students are not motivated enough to do even that.

A comparison

At the same time, take a CS course where the student-professor dynamic is totally different. The students are inherently interested to learn. The professor takes the role of a facilitator and has to simply point the students in a certain direction. As a result, attendance policies are unheard of in CS/EE courses and students have a say in course policies like evaluation schemes etc. This increases the reputation of the department and the inherent confidence of the students themselves in their eyes.

Most often, it is sufficient to pretend that one is studying than to actually learn in order to secure a good grade. This greatly discourages learning, which discourages interest, which discourages new ideas from the students, which discourages active research, which harms the department’s reputation. It is a vicious cycle. Textile engineering offers a vibrant field for some really amazing research opportunities and for anyone interested it is a gold mine, both from the academic as well as the monetary perspective. I feel this is true for any disciple of engineering simply because people would always demand better goods and services.

THE STUDENT

I began this article with the student in mind and I revisit this part of the story to tie all parts together. There is a strong correlation between the type of students who opt for a department versus the department they choose. For example, the most studious and academically bright opt for CS. A little less opt for Maths. EE consists of even less competent students and so on. Note that the word “competent” is a highly controversial term and I detest using it but it should be interpreted as “competency as measured by the JEE exam”. It is the well-ordering principle at play.

Students who opt for Textile mostly come with a set target in mind even before they begin their first year. This is a sad situation as it completely debars students to explore the liberating academic lifestyle of a university and to effectively identify their interests. Even as I write this, my friends are busy preparing hard for the intern season. As for me, I’m not sure where my interest lies and I am still exploring. I think it’s a good thing to not know. With the textile legacy, it is very difficult to do that.

Psychologically, Textile students are also surprisingly self-confident. Perhaps, this is just the experience of my batch but I find them very proactive in pursuing a number of hobbies from photography to debating and they are pretty good at it. I think it is this self-confidence that enables them to choose textile in the first place, in spite of all the lore and hostility towards it. They approach the department with the prior bias of “This is a dead branch. I have to figure out something else.”

This attitude, fueled by an outdated (or unstructured) curriculum incentivises students to be least bothered about their courses as long as it fetches them a decent CGPA. I am no one to opine if it is right or wrong but as I pointed out, I feel that the world is bigger than the nutshell we choose to live in.

THE OPPORTUNITIES AFTER TEXTILE@IITD

I shall update this section after my third year of the B. Tech programme.

However, I must note one significant experience from my pre-internship experience. Sprinklr is a sought-after tech company that recruits interns from campus. However, this year it did not allow Textile and Material Science students to sit for the pre-intern tests. The reason cited by the company’s HR was: “I don’t think these departments will be able to compete and clear the tests like the other branches.” These are the popular impressions of the department in spite of a significant number of Textile graduates securing tech placements.

WHAT IS THE SOLUTION?

As part of my training as an engineer, I am expected to provide solutions to problems and after presenting this piece, it is only apt that I do so now. Note that this is not substantiated by any data or research on my behalf apart from my experience so take them with a grain of salt.

The individual cogs of the machine work together to make the Textile department what it is today. I don’t know what incentive mechanism drives the faculty or the course development but I can vouch for the fact that the presentation makes a lot of difference simply because I have seen it happen in a Textile course. Textile courses are as important (and perhaps engaging too if they are made to be) as any other course but a combination of above highlighted factors makes it impossible for students to believe otherwise. I think one possible solution would be to reimagine the course material from the ground up and include industry-relevant material with emphasis on application of digital technologies, CAD, connection with business, entrepreneurship etc. Essentially focus on aspects of Textile engineering that are more “usable” for the students. Another solution would be to allow students to craft course policies as they please and introduce more innovative accountability measures than just traditional attendance and exams. This can include projects, reports, mini research work that includes more hands-on application of concepts taught in class. The exams must NEVER be a way for students to test their memory muscles. All this will require a major effort from both the faculty and the student body at the humble Textile department at IIT Delhi.

The Murky Mempool: Making sense of {M|B}EV

gs454236@gmail.com (Basil Labib) — Thu, 27 Jul 2023 23:30:59 +0530

It is human tendency to become unconditionally enchanted by something popular regardless of its intrinsic value. Known by many names like network effect , herd mentality , etc., this psychological effect has a diabolic effect on information dissemination. This is especially true when there is high variance in the educational distribution of the population. Take the room temperature semi-conductor craze for example. Or the plethora of medical news during the 2020 pandemic. Or the invention of the web. You get the point. It’s everywhere.

Something similar has happened to the blockchain technology, made popular by a 2008 anonymous paper . The real information about the tech and its implication is so sparse and shrouded in so much nonsense that the market around it has emerged as a scam/fraud leading to less credibility and trust.

In this post, I wish to discuss how blockchain tech may not be the panacea of decentralised commerce as it has been once been marketed as. I will discuss design flaws inherent in the Ethereum chain and what it means for the properties that enabled Ethereum to differentiate itself from traditional financial systems.

Note: This post assumes the older Ethereum consensus mechanism, namely Proof-Of-Work.

Frontrunning

Front-running (noun): The practice by market-makers of dealing on advance information provided by their brokers and investment analysts, before their clients have been given the information.

Let us take an example. Imagine there are two parties Alice and Bob. Alice somehow gets to know that Bob is about to make a “big” trade, that is, he’s about to purchase a lot of cookies. So, just before Bob’s purchase order, Alice goes to the market and buys a lot of cookies for herself thereby raising the price of cookies. Now, as Bob’s purchase order is processed, he has to pay more money for the same commodity. Alice has managed to extract money from Bob simply by knowing about Bob’s purchase order in advance. Note that there’s also a bunch of other factors, most importantly the design of the trading platform that Alice and Bob are using that affects how big this problem can be. In some ways, frontrunning is a fundamental design flaw in the very act of trading.

Traditional (that is, centralised) financial trading firms use a purchase order book to match up buy and sell orders. If Eve had access to this list of buy and sell orders, she would be able to anticipate the price changes that some of those orders would have and frontrun those transactions to make money out of thin air. Frontrunning is illegal on CeFis and govermental agencies oversee that brokers and trading agencies don’t engage in such activites.

Exploitable opportunities

What kind of purchases can lead to frontrunnable opportunities? Large volume orders are an obvious example. A buy order of 0.5% of all tradable ETH would have a substantial impact on the price of ETH. It would also create arbitrage opportunities across multiple markets that would decay based on the oracle latency between them. Even human errors in placing buy and sell orders can lead to frontrunnable scenarios in DeFi as we’ll see later.

Unlike CeFi, DeFi are designed to be transparent, that is, transactions are public. One cannot be decentralised if one cannot see what’s going on…which makes sense. But now, let us understand how this design feature aggravates frontrunning on blockchain and reduces consensus security.

In the Ethereum protocol, local transactions are broadcasted via a gossip protocol to nearby nodes and are processed by rational miners based on the decreasing order of transaction fees. However, there is always a publicly accessible set of unconfirmed transactions called a mempool . It contains transactions that might potentially fail or be valid but nobody knows. As you can imagine, this presents perfect oppurtunity to frontrunners who can examine the mempool and frontrun profitable transactions without a fuss.

An example

Most DeFi exchanges are based on the purchase orderbook mechanism in which a centralised clearing house matches a list of buy orders with a list of sell orders when they find compatible trades. In a DeFi, the central authority is, of course, the immutable logic of the smart contract behind the exchange. Note that this is a different design than the more innovative automated market maker model introduced by Uniswap. Now, let us see how a frontrunning transaction can exploit an erroneous trade order.

Let’s assume that someone offers to buy an asset at 10x the market rate (perhaps due to a slip while filling the price or a decimal point error). A bot would identify this opportunity and quickly buy that asset from the market and then sell this back to the original buyer. This is possible because of the inherent atomicity of transactions on the blockchain via so-called blocks. Moreover, the incentive mechanism for miners to “mine” a particular trade is assumed to be strictly dependent on the transaction fee they reap out of the order. Hence, in order to prioritise a transaction, one only has to set a marginally higher transaction fee to frontrun a transaction. We’ll see how this leads to an interesting phenomenon.

On the flip side, let us assume that someone offers to sell their token at .1x the market rate (again, an error). A frontrunner might buy those token immediately and sell them in the market and gain 0.9x profit.

Arbitrage and frontrunning situations can arise from a number of factors such as price difference of the same asset across markets and the different response rates for market movements based on platform design, logic bugs, human error, etc. Generalising this, a sophisticated frontrunning bot will replay a number of shortlisted transactions in the mempool in a local environment and try to frontrun one or a sequence which leads to a net positive profit for itself. The exact profit is difficult to calculate simply because it is not possible to anticipate the subset of transactions visible to a bot which depends on a number of factors such as latency, network congestion, and the well-connectedness of the bot.

What I described above is a particular type of exploiting frontrunnable transactions dubbed “pure revenue opportunities” by this paper . Due to the unique public nature of these transactions, a victim can see what happened with their funds. I reproduce few comments made by victims of such bots from the paper linked above.

“I am a single parent trying to make ends meet at a job I hate. Please have some mercy.”

“Please I ask you to send me the ETH back as I really need it to continue my education. I might need to sell my car to pay what is already due for this semester.”

“This was obviously a mistake transaction - any chance you can find it in your heart to send it back?”

Priority Gas Auctions (PGAs)

The mechanism for exploiting an abitrage opportunity is by placing your order before the victim order. In the blockchain paradigm, this translates to assigning a higher transaction fee to your transaction to incentivise a rational miner to include the attack transaction first. But an interesting phenomenon happens if two bots find an exploitable transaction. In this case, a naive strategy bot A would keep increasing their transaction fee in response to bot B, following the same strategy, and trying to nullify A’s attempt to reap a profit. This leads to interesting series of transactions with the same nounce but incrementally higher gas fee by two wallets for the same trade - a pretty conspicuous phenomenon.

Due to the stochastic nature of block inclusion time (which depends on the miner being able to find a solution to a cryptographically hard problem), the transaction to be actually included is not pre-determined.

Source: Flash Boys 2.0

Note this interesting PGA battle where two bots engaged in a biding war. Eventually, the green transaction for 0x6BEcA... was included at 134.02. Interestingly, the bots agreed to raise their fee to ~8K. The other transactions were, of course, discarded from the mempool once the winning transaction was mined.

Bots can adopt different strategies for bidding in such auctions. Two of the simplest and observed strategies are:

Blind raising: Simply increase the bid by a fraction until the order is successful. This is a non-adaptive strategy and doesn’t take into account what the other agent is upto.
Counterbidding: As the name suggests, only raise the bid if the current bid will lead to failure and raise the bid by a certain fraction of the other agent’s bid.¹

Moreover, the winner of a bid war is highly dependent on the latency of the network and the connectedness of the bots to the network, hinting at the development of high-frequency trading-like scenarios on blockchain platforms ; an undesirable and unintended consequence of the current design of the system.

Transaction reordering and unintended optimisation

Once in the mempool, the miners have a lot of freedom in choosing which transactions to include in the block they’ll mine next. The protocol assumes that rational miners would order transactions by decreasing transaction fee which is the intended behaviour. However, if the miners have a greater incentive from outside the system to deviate from this behaviour then it leads to lowered network security. Studies show that at certain thresholds, miners are incentivised to even fork the chain.

If a miner is aware of a transaction sequence that would lead to profitable outcome or even personal connections with the transaction participants, they can reorder transaction orders if the profit from such reordering is greater than the transaction fee. When can such scenarios occur? Once large volume trades are detected in the mempool, miners may identify potential frontrunnable transactions or more sophisticated types called “sandwich attacks” (flank the victim transaction with two attacking transactions to bet in favour of a condition that is determined to occur as an outcome of the victim transaction). Miners can collude with third-party users and reorder transactions to maximise the block reward they can mine. They may also censor transactions of a particular kind, type, demographic, and so on. One quickly realises how this design pattern can fundamentally compromise blockchain security.

Conclusion

While transacting on the application layer, it is often possible that endusers abstract away the complexity of what goes under the hood on the Ethereum protocol which enables them decentralised consensus. But we find that the mempool is not a utopic panacea that will enable blockchain to replace traditional CeFi. This primarily arises from fundamental design flaws that were not originally conceived - an ideal case study to understand why engineering is hard.

I haven’t even scratched the surface of how profitable these “extractable values” have been for adversaries in the past (for numbers, check out the Flash Boys paper) and still continue to be a source of income for sophisticated bots. The original paper Flash Boys 2.0 dubbed this value as MEV or Miner Extractable Value but after the transition to PoS, it was proposed to name it as Maximum Extractable Value. This paper argues that MEV is a subset of total extractable value which it dubs BEV or Blockchain Extractable Value. So, even if the terminologies are not very definite, I hope the problem is.

Well, the above picture might seem more grim than the situation is. Currently there is amazing work going on which will nullify wealth stealing by transferring the incentives to the users and miners. An interesting middle layer is being built - for example, MEV Boost for PoS-enabled blockchains.

References

paper Flash Boys 2.0: Frontrunning, Transaction Reordering, and Consensus Instability in Decentralized Exchanges: Daian P. et. al
paper Quantifying Blockchain Extractable Value: How dark is the forest?: Qin K. et. al

1: I am simplifying a lot of details here. For example, transaction fee increments are not continuous. Most ETH clients require a bid to be atleast 12.5% of the initial bid to be considered for inclusion thus making bidding discrete in practise.

Updates to the blog

gs454236@gmail.com (Basil Labib) — Tue, 11 Jul 2023 11:22:34 +0530

It has been quite sometime since I turned my attention to this blog. Not in terms of content but in terms of features and upgrades. It has served its purpose well, that is, helping a lazy blogger like me keep up with his habit :P. It doesn’t intruding too much in terms of maintainence, silently complementing my content, and giving me the peace of mind to blog while keeping it aesthetic for you.

And yet nothing is static. As the blog has grown, so has my needs and demands from the blog. It is particularly this part which justifies taking the hard road to maintain my own blog in this silent corner of the web and not on some popular writing community like Medium or Wordpress. The freedom to hack and control every single div on this website.

Well, if you have been following my blog, you’ll notice few changes. In no particular order, here are a number of upgrades / features added to the blog:

🕶️ Dark mode

Did you notice the shiny new button beside the page title? Yep, this blog is now dark theme enabled! My eyes will thank me for editing stuff late at night.

I took inspiration from this post and copied Dan Abramov’s button design CSS (Thanks, Dan for this and Redux!) Still had to figure out the dark mode CSS for each page etc.

The homepage looks like this:

I like it!

🗨️ Commenting system

After a long running feud with Disqus and trying to integrate a managed open-source commenting system on my blog (Looking at you Valine and Isso :/), I have settled for gitalk , a commenting system built over GitHub issues so I hope it will work properly. Only catch is you need to have a GitHub account to post a comment ~~which I think you should if you don’t already.~~

⚠️ WARNING: If you’re using gitalk, then make sure your post slugs are less than 50 characters as gitalk somehow can’t tag issues with longer tags. 🤷 Learnt it the hard way.

Fixed that, now I should push to prod, right? Right??

Ugh….humbly goes back to VS Code.

After half an hour of reading gitalk docs, scrolling through SO answers, and (re)learning about HTML DOM manipulation with JS…tada!

This is how development is, breaking and building and breaking something else in the process. Do let me know if you notice something broken, I haven’t tested the new theme for everything :)

🔢 Mathjax support

This was purely on a whim as I wanted to write some ✨math✨. This is surprisingly easy if you just want Mathjax support ASAP and need to start using $$ $$ by importing a few stylesheets .

But as the SO answer points out, directly rendering Mathjax can be slow and show unwanted unstyled content before rendering which is sort of irritating. Thus, had to write a bunch of code to delay the visibility of mathjax blocks until it is rendered. Better but not sure how much I’ll use it as now I have to enclose all Latex content in Hugo shortcode blocks which are sooo clumsy to use :/

Maybe, I don’t mind a bout of FOUC after all.

One More Light: Why Can't We Normalise Failing?

gs454236@gmail.com (Basil Labib) — Sun, 09 Jul 2023 18:52:51 +0530

As a student, I want to put my head in a pillow and scream my heart out. As a writer, I am doomed to write words that not many will read and even fewer will understand. As a journalist, I am required to piece together what happened and inform the community of the cold chain of events of last night. But I choose to write this article as a human being, one who is confused and terrified and angry.

Chain of events

My WhatsApp started buzzing with some concerning messages and initially, I didn’t pay much heed. Hostel groups are known to be unruly and wild. But the messages didn’t stop. I slept early yesternight as I was fatigued and woke up to the confirmation of the demise of a 4th year B. Tech student in my hostel.

Almost all students are not present on campus as vacations are going on except for students staying back for summer/pending courses or projects. I am sitting 1500 km away from campus as I write this. Thus, although it is very difficult to get a clear picture and to separate fact from fiction in the sea of rumours, it seems like the boy hung himself in his room. It has also been suggested that the incident happened 2-3 days ago and it was only discovered yesternight.

I got another message from a senior. The statements were fragmented but seemed genuine. Along with the gruesome descriptions, there was this picture.

Image removed to preserve privacy of the deceased.

This was supposedly the list of pending courses of the deceased. Now, it should be noted that the outgoing batch generally completes their course requirements by 7th semester (out of 8 total semesters for a 4 year programme). The last semester is mostly for some minor courses for a max of 10 credits. That’s how students plan. That’s how the system is designed. Unless, of course, one fails a course for some reason in which case they have to repeat it. As you can see above, the guy had 5 such pending courses. Moreover, there are a bunch of other requirements for the degree like completion of a certain amount of social work measured in hours (“Bhai ghante mile tujhe?”; Bro did you get the hours?), industry experience - typically interning at a company gets the job done and a bunch of other elective courses.

To be honest, I was gobsmacked by looking at this and estimated that he would have to stay back for at least one more year and then it hit me. Imagine this guy attending classes while all his batchmates graduate and get employed. It is often said that college is where one makes their own identity and their own way in life but trust me, once those instagram posts and linkedin posts of convocation ceremony and office pictures start pouring in then all hell breaks loose. And who would quantify this? Who can quantify this?

In vain, yet green

I scrolled through the guy’s Linkedin and there was this innocent face staring at me. I was eerily discomforted because the “Connect” button on Linkedin showed active and I was mortified by the irony of it. I couldn’t imagine what must have prevailed in his mind before he took such a drastic decision. And I cannot imagine what is stopping hundreds of others still in the system?

I clicked on the followers list and clicked on one of his connections, a passed out senior I know who is working in a decent company abroad with a handsome paycheck and I began to wonder what difference was there between these two? One who is on his way to a lifestyle millions in our country dream of and another hopeless enough to end his life and yet borne out of the same system that has bred engineers through the years. A distinct distastefulness of life played up on my tongue as I kept scrolling through, once again face to face with the morbid and selfish reality of our time. One who can endure prevails over one who is weak at heart or conscience. But then the question that remains to be asked is this: Was it really any fault of the weak to be that way?

I tried reaching out to people in the graduating batch from my hostel hoping to get a lead on a friend who might shed some light on the incident only to discover that the guy had no friends at all in the hostel. He was a loner. Why wasn’t I surprised? Let people say what they want to but the strenuous demands of the curriculum at IIT takes a toll on every student. Social life is one of the ways to diffuse that tension and keep going. I wondered what kept this guy going for all these years? And that’s how I met a dead-end in my investigation of the matter.

Truthfulness of truth

During the past few hours, I have pondered on some interesting questions in my capacity as an editor too. Deep questions about the truthfulness of truth and how no account is ever true enough. I have engaged in a lot of debate and discussion on this with the editorial panel only for the panel to arrive at the impossibility of ever learning the truth if the administration decides to censor it. Questions were also raised in my mind about the potency and effectiveness of a media body that is powerless to gather information.

IITs are pockets of excellence carefully designed to train the talent of our country to serve the global markets for labour. This is not the first suicide at one and I’m sorry to say, neither will this be the last. Unless we stop going to candle light vigils and putting up social media stories, thereby convincing ourselves that our responsibility is somehow over. Maybe it will make us feel better today. Maybe very deep in our heart, we’ll be comforted by the fact that it was not someone we knew; a deep-seated psychological mechanism called “proximity principle” which biases us towards caring for people closest to us. But how long till it’s someone we know?

Why can’t we normalise failing?

Imagine the shame of admitting to one’s parents: “Papa, mein fail kar gaya. Mujhe naukri nahi mili.” (“Dad, I failed to graduate. I didn’t get a job”). There is nothing wrong in failing a course. You cannot judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree. But that’s how we are conditioned and brought up. Employment is such an important metric to gauge social status that students are subtly deluded into the joy of getting a job. Most students, thus, wait anxiously for their degree to “just end”.

It is shameful to fail. It is shameful to not get a goddamn job. But it is not shameful to become a Third World cog in a global machine designed1 to transfer our wealths to the shores of the First World.

“Our system acts very much like a sponge, drawing up all the good things from the banks of the Ganges, and squeezing them down on the banks of the Thames”
~John Sullivan, Revenue Board Prez, Madras

Except it is no more indigo and spices but dreams and imagination.

In parting

I have spoken and you might have listened and now I’ll go back to my life and you’ll go to yours. But these questions will remain hanging heavy in the air. We might choose to ignore them because we don’t have any answers and yet there will be questions of morality and justice and humanity. The questions will remain unanswered.

Purpose, Passion, and Politics: The Craft of Writing

gs454236@gmail.com (Basil Labib) — Sat, 08 Jul 2023 10:32:06 +0530

The other day, I overheard a conversation between two professors when one cheekily quipped that he had set the next exam paper using ChatGPT . Obviously shocked, the other professor asked, “Why?” Our gallant hero coolly replied, “Well, tit for tat.”

It seems that with an increase in the number of generative text services, there has been a proportional decrease in the creativity and imagination of people. And I fear that the problem will only aggravate overtime. GPTs will continue to narrow down the gap between expertise and acquired affluence.

But what about the craft of writing? What makes the likes of Joyce, Thoreau, and Hemingway? Recently, The Economist covered books for budding writers and some of them are quite thought-provoking. In this post, I intend to note a thing or two about the craft of words.

THE PURPOSE

Generally, the main goal of writing is communication. This might seem obvious but it demands a number of considerations that the writer must take into account. The most important question to ask is, “What is the writer trying to communicate?” The writer cannot go far if they are confused about what to say.

“If I had six hours to chop down a tree, I’d spend the first four hours sharpening the axe.”

~Abraham Lincoln

Therefore, the writer must think deeply about the ideas they want to introduce, reorder them in a sound structure such that the ideas flow logically and an uninitiated reader can easily follow the chain of reasoning. Note that this job demands the writer to be empathic besides being a master of wordcraft.

The writer must constantly ask themselves: “What do I want to say?” and once they have found the answer ask whether they have said it. And then slash their words to remove clutter and confusion.

THE PASSION

The craft of writing is independent of the contents of the piece. This means that the words, the sentence structure, flow, rhythm, even the relative sonority of the words must be chosen in a way that the readers find themselves reading a piece that they have no interest in. And that can be achieved only by the passion and spirit that the writer imbues in their article. As William Zinsser writes,

…two of the most important qualities…humanity and warmth. Good writing has an aliveness that keeps the reader reading from one paragraph to the next…

~William Zinsser, On Writing Well, 6th ed.

The writer must be in constant search for this warmth in their articles, one not of guile or forced gimmicks but genuine and humane. And remain aware that even the tiniest slip will be first noticed by their readers.

After all, it doesn’t matter if a string of words aims to decipher the writings of Proust or chronicle a weekend trip to Digha, what matters is the curiosity and emotion that reflects through the piece. No doubt, such stringent demands for the poor writer are met by mastery of the language and a clarity of thoughts, as noted above.

THE POLITICS

Distracting myself from the individual, let me talk about the state of writing in general. It is a known fact that redundancy has become a hallmark of so-called official communication. By deliberately cluttering communication, not only do people pollute the purpose of language but leverage the complexity to artificially create an information asymmetry. Perhaps, no one is to be blamed more than modern corporations and centralised governance mechanisms - systems that are incentivized to keep the masses in the dark about what’s really going on. Zinsser discusses this at length in his book , which I recommend to anyone aspiring to write better. I will quote the following examples from his book verbatim.

When the Digital Equipment Corporation eliminated 3,000 jobs its statement didn’t mention layoffs; those were “involuntary methodologies.” When an Air Force missile crashed, it “impacted with the ground prematurely.” When General Motors had a plant shutdown, that was a “volume-related production-schedule adjustment.” Companies that go belly-up have “a negative cash-flow position.”

So, the next time you come across a sentence too difficult to understand, remember that you are being fooled. Sadly, the government has a tendency to inflate “good deeds” and sound important and obfuscate “bad deeds” and still sound important. For example, an invasion is called a “reinforced protective reaction strike”. Or take this absolute gem of an extract from Gen. Alexander Haig’s address, as President Reagan’s Secretary of State, said, “We must push this to a lower decibel of public fixation. I don’t think there’s much of a learning curve to be achieved in this area of content.” which, if you squint hard enough, means, “leave it to me because you’re dumb.” George Orwell, in his 1946 essay “Politics and the English Language” writes,

“political speech and writing are largely the defense of the indefensible…Thus political language has to consist largely of euphemism, question-begging and sheer cloudy vagueness.”

~George Orwell, Politics and the English Language, 1946

For a select few, writing has always been a venture infested with ulterior motives. Some want to write to appear respectable in society by using long and tiring words that sound “elegant”. Some write for political favouritism or simply to clobber the mind of restless souls who are too careless to uncover the stratagem themselves. The cunning writer also has a good knowledge of psychology. Human beings are arrested by their own mental inertia - a fact exploited by government and marketing teams where they give options to “opt-out” and opt everyone in by default. No freedom of any kind was encroached yet the job was done. The clever writer pollutes his thoughts with convoluted phrases and sophisticated words so as to signal that they know what they are doing. The learned are more likely to fall into this trap as follows, “I consider myself a well-read person. I am reading this person and I don’t seem to understand half the things they are saying. Therefore, they must be more well-read than me.” Mission accomplished.

THE PROFESSION

Dentists say, “Are you experiencing any pain?” instead of just asking, “Does it hurt?”

By using such colourful sentence construction, the dentist not only establishes themself as a person of letter but also manages to distract the patient from imminent pain by anesthetising against their wit.

One last example before I stop quoting Zinsser (these are just too fun not to quote),

“In the unlikely possibility that the air-craft should experience such an eventuality,” she begins — a phrase so oxygen-depriving in itself that we are prepared for any disaster.

ART & CRAFT

I am yet to complete Zinsser’s book and truth be told, that seems unlikely¹. But the ideas that I have come across will surely guide me for a long way and I hope some of these stick with you too!

Any article should leave the reader with exactly one provocative thought and no more and definitely not less. And yet, writing is not a technical job but an art. There is no blueprint to stick to. Only certain rules that, as Orwell notes, should be “[broken] sooner than say anything outright barbarous.”

FOOTNOTES

1: I have grown more picky (reckless?) with my reading, cherry-picking what I want to read and brutally ignoring what I don’t.

How Bonding Curves Are Crucial to DeFi Protocols

gs454236@gmail.com (Basil Labib) — Thu, 06 Jul 2023 14:26:12 +0530

Source: Google images

After the initial excitement, the current state of DeFi rests with the spawning of a number of speculation and lending markets (such as Compound , AAVE ), complementing their traditional counterparts. For a comprehensive bird-eye view of the history of DeFi, I strongly recommend this post by @njess .

Speculation markets work by providing a platform for traders to bet on the value of any digital asset over time. DeFi is experimenting with devising financial instruments like futures and options for digital assets as evident by a number of perpetual futures protocols like Perpetual , dYdX , Mycelium , etc.

AMMs – a DeFi primitive

However, when the exchange is small and relatively unknown, it is difficult to exchange tokens/assets issued by the exchange for ETH or any stablecoin because one won’t be able to find a buyer or seller. In other words, the exchange doesn’t have enough liquidity. Of course, the smart contract implementing the exchange protocol will provide the liquidity initially but at what price? In other words, what should be the mechanism for price discovery ?

This was the problem that Uniswap protocol designers were grappling with when they launched Unisocks in 2019, a smart contract to exchange socks but equipped with an automated market maker or AMM. Based on a formula, the contract was able to quote a price for an asset on demand. The Unisock protocol used something like the $ x*y = k$ formula to define the number of x and y in circulation. This ensured that there was always enough of x and y in the contract to trade anytime with anyone. As @njess writes,

…very few people realized the power of having a permissionless market always willing to trade. Not an efficient market. An available market.

We’ll dive into the math soon but first, we have to ask a deeper question.

Why should one buy tokens?

For the same reason why one buys any other asset. Because they believe that the asset will appreciate in value overtime. Note that the asset itself doesn’t need to have intrinsic value. Things like paper currency notes, or application of oil on canvas paper are absurdly overvalued if one believes their real value are strictly tied to their intrinsic value. Most of the time, value is conferred by other people and tokens are just another such asset albeit digital.

Infact, web3 protocols are more efficient than traditional finsystems at matching value-valuation levels of an asset if they are well designed as tokens actively incentivise holders towards certain actions. This is an area of active research and people are experimenting with curation markets where they incentivise users to report non-credible, fishy news. Encouraging such positive social behaviour would make such protocols appear valuable and so the tokens would appreciate in value (in other words, get more in demand).

Bonding curves

In finance, a bonding curve is essentially a function to describe the relationship between the price and supply of an asset. Bonding curves are what powers liquidity pools and other exchange protocols. Since exchange is such a fundamental action in DeFi, AMMs are one of the primitives of DeFi.

A typical bonding curve looks like:

$$ y = mx^n $$

where m is a curve parameter (to fine-tune the shape) and n is the order of the curve. y is the token price and x is the token supply.

The power function for various values of m and n. Source: author, plotted on desmos.com

If we take the simplest curve, $ y = x $ which is the bonding curve for our token ABT (Alice-Bob token). Let us see how it affects user behaviour.

The area represents the price for the tokens at different supply levels. Source: author, plotted on desmos.com

If Alice buys token when the supply is low, she has to pay a small amount. She bought 3 tokens when the price was 3 ETH and now the tokens in supply is 6 tokens so the token price rises to 6 ETH. Bob notices that the token has increased in demand so he wants to have some of ABT too. He buys 2 ABT for 6 ETH each. Now, Alice can sell her stock of ABT as the token price is higher than her cost price and reap a profit out of it. Meanwhile, Bob would incur a loss if he sells after Alice has sold her stock since the token price is higher than his cost price. Thus, this curve incentivises users to buy early and rewards early adopters.

I should clarify that the statement “He buys 2 ABT for 6 ETH each” is not correct but a simplification. Since these are continuous curves, the price of assets are continuously changing, hence the price of ABT would increase for even a $ 10^{-18} $ part change. Thus, to compute the cost for 2 ABT, the contract would actually compute the area under curve for the function under appropriate limits. This can be done by good ‘ol integral calculus.

$$ \int mx^n dx = m \int x^n dx = \frac{m}{n+1} x^{n+1} $$

Let’s say that the number of tokens in circulation was t, and we want to buy k more tokens. By putting limits,

$$ p = \left[\frac{m}{n+1} x^{n+1} \right]_t^{t+k} = \frac{m}{n+1}(t+k)^{n+1} - \frac{m}{n+1}t^{n+1}$$ $$ = \frac{m}{n+1}t^{n+1} \left( \frac{(t+k)^{n+1}}{t^{n+1}} - 1 \right) $$ $$ = \frac{m}{n+1}t^{n+1} \left( \left( 1 + \frac{k}{t} \right)^{n+1} - 1 \right) $$

By solving for k, we can find the number of tokens that one can trade for p units of ETH or stablecoin, likewise:

$$ k = t \left( \left( \frac{p(n+1)}{t*s^{n+1}} + 1 \right)^{\frac{1}{n+1}} -1 \right) $$

The problem with the above formula is ofcourse the pesky exponent term which can lead to overflow for large t or n. How can we compute p and k efficiently. We need some math trickery and this is exactly what the bancor formulae are.

Bancor formula

If we define the initial pool balance that is the cost of going from 0 to t as another variable, say b, then the above expressions can be written as follows:

$$ p = b \left( \left( \frac{k}{t} + 1 \right)^{n+1} - 1 \right) $$ and, $$ k = t \left( \left( \frac{p}{b} +1 \right)^{\frac{1}{n+1}} - 1 \right) $$

We still have to compute the exponent but we are getting there, bancor formula introduced another variable called the reserveRatio as follows:

$$ r = \frac{poolBalance}{tokenPrice * tokenSupply} $$ $$ r = \frac{b}{p*t} $$ which is $$ = \frac{\frac{m}{n+1}t^{n+1}}{(m*t^n)*t} = \frac{1}{n+1} $$

Thus, the price formula under the bancor parameterisation becomes:

$$ p = b \left( \left( \frac{k}{t} +1 \right)^{\frac{1}{r}} - 1 \right) $$

If you have had some prior exposure to basic economics then the above bonding curve seems a little disconcerting. Why is the price more when there are more tokens in circulation? Shouldn’t the price be more when the tokens are scarce? But think about it for a minute. More tokens in circulation means more demand. It is not like more tokens implies less scarcity.

Sigmoid functions as bonding functions

People coming from ML are already acquainted with the sigmoid function, a friendly little function with a nice shape.

$$ g(x) = \frac{1}{1-e^{-x}} $$

However, the integral of this function is:

$$ \int\frac{1}{1-e^{-x}}dx = ln(1-e^{-x}) $$

which is a hairy function to compute on the EVM as an infinite power series has to be summed. Smart contracts ideally cannot implement fancier curves as they cost more gas price to compute on-chain. But there is a similar function with a much nicer integral:

$$ f(x) = \frac{x}{\sqrt{1+x^2}} $$

and, more importantly,

$$ \int\frac{x}{\sqrt{1+x^2}}dx = \sqrt{1+x^2} $$

Now, just like m and n in the power bonding function, we can parameterise this function as follows and compute the sigmoid price function:

$$ y = a \left( \frac{(x+b)}{\sqrt{c + (x+b)^2}} -1 \right) $$

which when integrated within proper limits yield the following price function:

$$ p = \int_{t}^{t+k} a \left( \frac{(x+b)}{\sqrt{c + (x+b)^2}} -1 \right)dx $$ $$ = a (\sqrt{c + (t+k+b)^2} + t + k ) - b $$

which is much easier to compute.

Price discovery mechanism

Quantitatively, the value of a token can be defined as the sum of total cash flow available to the bearer. But this raises many questions such as is it always possible to determine the future cash flow from an asset? If yes, then how to compute that? Traditional pricing techniques have evolved tools to price options and futures such as Black-Sholes formula, etc. but I haven’t researched much into that. The precise token design is also affected by the amount of token in circulation. Is it possible to value a token in the future if one allows infinite token minting by design? How to do that? These questions are under active research and no doubt, bonding curves will be an important part of future DeFi protocols.

Problems with bonding curves

Not a problem per se but I just wanted to note that AMMs are useful to provide liquidity to a token when it is in its infancy. But once the token is liquid enough to be traded on the free market at other DEXes, then who sets the price? Well, then the AMM and the free market stay at the same price. Any difference is levelled out by arbitrage.

Frontrunning a transaction

Do you remember the case for ABT token above? Well, what if Eve got to know that Alice is about to buy her tokens, somehow places an exact transaction with a higher gas fee to incentivise miners to mine her transaction as oppose to Alice’s and then sell her tokens to Alice at a higher price (since the token’s price has just increased). One possible solution is limiting the gas fee that one can set for these transactions and always ask buyers/sellers to set it to that value.

Nested bonding curves compounds risks

Imagine that ABT is pegged to ETH with a reserve ratio of 50%. Now, Darlene designs a token and pegs it to ABT with a reserve ratio of 10%. The actual reserve ratio is .5 * .1 = .05 or 5% of ETH. Further nesting can result in a highly volatile asset which basically means huge changes in the value of the asset for tiny changes in the value of the underlying asset (ETH in this case). One possible solution is to limit the number of nesting, of course.

REFERENCES

How to make continuous bonding token models by Slava Balasanov.
Bonding Curves in Depth: with math by Slava Balasanov.
Token Curve Design by Parameters .
Converting between bonding curve and bancor parameters by billy Rennekamp.
Ethereum tokens explained by Linum Labs.
Introduction to bonding curves, shapes, and use cases by Linum Labs.

Spirited Away: Of Monsters and Men

gs454236@gmail.com (Basil Labib) — Sun, 02 Jul 2023 00:01:52 +0530

“I’m not a storyteller. I’m a man who draws pictures”.

~Hayao Miyazaki

Studio Ghibli’s most acclaimed production Spirited Away is shy of a few days to its twenty-second anniversary and is often regarded as the Best Animation Film ever made. This 125-minute anime, directed by Hayao Miyazaki¹, follows a 10-year old girl, Chihiro, as she adventures in a magical land of witches, demons, and a slew of other creatures and masterfully combines storytelling with strong elements of magical realism. Let us dive deep and understand why Spirited Away or Sen to Chihiro no Kamikakushi — translated as “Sen and Chihiro’s Spiriting Away”, is such a big deal.

Miyazaki’s works are not simple enough to be interpreted in a straightforward manner but are layered structures that go deeper than a preliminary viewing can disclose. SA is replete with spirits and monsters but what do they really mean? I present here but one interpretation of all possible ones out there, the one that I find most justifiable.

An overview

“Don’t worry, you’ve got Daddy here. He’s got credit cards and cash.”

If you have watched SA, it is almost impossible not to make the comparison with Alice in Wonderland, penned from Carroll’s imagination, which tells the story of a little girl who tumbles down a hole into a fantasy world of magic and strange creatures and where she had a number of adventures. Just like Alice, Chihiro meets some helpful characters and some not so much. She makes friends with Haku, the evil witch Yubaba’s magical apprentice, and takes as friends Bo, the morphed mouse of Yubaba’s baby, the little bird, and of course, the river demon - No Face. Food plays an important role as it was greed initially that turned Chihiro’s parents into pigs as they shamelessly went on stuffing themselves up. The magical dumpling that Chihiro received as a gift from the river spirit eventually healed Haku from the clutches of the evil Yubaba’s slavery spell and defeated No Face. Words and their interpretations are dealt with in an engaging way, like all fantasy stories, for it was by taking away the original name of Haku, Yubaba had managed to hold him captive and used the same technique for Chihiro, when she tried to rename her Sen. Eventually, Chihiro breaks Yubaba’s spell by calling names (literally).

Tribute to folklore

SA comes with its own set of treats and rewards for inquisitive viewers. Miyazaki was clever enough to include copious amounts of his nation’s folklore, in part educating the world of his nation’s rich culture subconsciously. Spirits, called Kami, are venerated in Shinto folklore and are associated with nature who are said to live in a world of their own just like ours. In this magical mirror world, Kamis exist alongside other spirits and demons - like the river demon, No Face, who was an obvious fallout of the excessive environmental degradation for which humans are responsible. The intense hatred and unpopularity of humans in the demon’s lair is reasonable because humans do tend to destroy wherever they lay their hold. Miyazaki both laments this fact and criticises humans for it.

“You humans always make a mess of things. Like your parents who gobbled up the food of the spirits like pigs. They got what they deserved.”

Good & Evil

Another striking feature of the movie is how Miyazaki chose not to bottle up characters as either good or evil - a recurrent and uninspiring feature of most modern high fantasy tales. Under close inspection, every character in SA can be loved and hated at the same time and perhaps, it is this uncertainty that gives such appeal to the movie. It is because these characters model our world more closely with personalities lying in a spectrum of greys. One might think Yubaba is an evil witch who binds people to slavery by means of her treacherous contracts but then a softer, motherly side of Yubaba is revealed as she cares and takes care of Bo, the giant little boy. Haku, the dragon shape-shifter and apprentice to Yubaba, who saved Chihiro’s life is cast into a dark light as he is accused of theft by Zeniba, Yubaba’s twin witch-sister. No Face might appear as an evil river monster who devoured creatures who were greedy enough to be swayed by his gold bait. But once we understand that his habitation has been destroyed by human-made environmental damage, we look at him as an agitated homeless vagabond.

“You still haven’t noticed that something precious to you has been replaced.”

Brief(est) history of animation

Much can be said, and should be said, about the technique of hand-drawing each frame painstakingly instead of using computer-generated images as was prevalent in the United States. Traditional animation techniques involve multiple stages of production such as storyboarding, sketching, colouring, compiling, making the production tedious and costly. The adoption of CGI started in the 1980s and Toy Story became the first movie to be created wholly on a computer. CGI dominated American animation studios and marked the end of hand-drawn comics. Thus, people stood up and took notice when SA bagged an Academy Award, serving as “a wake-up call for a lot of people in the film business who had been disregarding Japanese animation for years”².

Technique and Philosophy

Most of Studio Ghibli’s productions are often criticised as being too “slow” and that might be the case where plot progresses casually and lazily and most shots are idle with little happening in them. In contrast to the popular method of overloading storylines with too much movement and actions, Miyazaki’s work takes a welcome break and allows the viewer to “breathe”. He himself describes these idyllic shots as “ma” or “emptiness”: “The people who make the movies are scared of silence, so they want to paper and plaster it over. They’re worried that the audience will get bored. But just because it’s 80% intense all the time, doesn’t mean the kids are going to bless you with their concentration. What really matters is the underlying emotions - that you never let go of those.” Do you remember the following iconic shot from the film? This is what Miyazaki is talking about.

Spirited Away (2001)

SA is infamous for being a product of one of Miyazaki’s peculiar habits - of not storyboarding his script. In fact, SA is a scriptless movie with the story conceived alongside the storyboarding process. When asked by Midnight Eve , Miyazaki coyly replied, “I don’t have the story finished and ready when we start work on a film. It’s not me who makes the film. The film makes itself, and I have no choice but to follow.”

“Disney movies touch the heart, but Studio Ghibli films touch the soul.”

Chihiro, the kid who grew up

Miyazaki believes in giving her heroines centre-stage in his works. His female characters are strong and plot-drivers instead of being mere ornaments to decorate or augment a plotline. The same can be said for Chihiro, the 10-year old girl at the centre of SA. For the most part, the movie can be seen as a character development arc for the girl as she transforms from the pampered, self-centred, and spoiled child in the care of her parents, to a worker who understands the nuances and importance of toil and labour. Bo, the giant baby of Yubaba, also got to experience life from a different perspective outside the comfort of his baby citadel when he travels around perched on the shoulders of Chihiro as a mouse.

The adventure was a transformative experience for Chihiro and she grew up as a result of that. She learnt to be empathic and brave in the face of doubt and danger. Perhaps, that is the ultimate message of SA. Or perhaps, all these interpretations are bullshit and Miyazaki wanted to have fun.

REFERENCES

FOOTNOTES

1: A new movie by Miyazaki, “How Do You Live?” is slated to release on 14th July this year.
2: Quoted by Dr. Jonathan Clements

Escapade Into Uttarakhand: A travelogue

gs454236@gmail.com (Basil Labib) — Thu, 29 Jun 2023 13:12:55 +0530

Introduction

This travelogue was created based on my journal entries on a daily(ish) basis. I volunteered as a teacher at a remote village in Uttarakhand and helped high school kids prepare for competitive exams (JEE/NEET) for two weeks. This travelogue is presented almost in its entirety with few redacts that I deemed too personal.

Day 1 (30/31 May)

I got onto an almost full Traveller van in front of Satpura¹ amidst torrential rain and found myself greeted with unknown (and somewhat hostile) faces. I got into a corner and crumpled myself somehow into that little space. And we rolled around 7:30pm. After sometime I realised, to my horror, that I wanted to puke. It was then that it dawned on me that perhaps I’m also one of those people who cannot stand travelling in cars although I was surprised because it had never happened before (also maybe because I have never been on a trip like this). Anyhow, because of a sheer stroke of good luck, someone shifted and I got a window seat and I got better because of the cool Delhi air.

Got off for a dhaba dinner at midnight and then bobbed and slept and somehow made it through the night only to wake up at 5am to a sight that turned me stone cold. There were freaking mountains! And cold and clouds and the van was swirling through these snakey roads that weren’t really roads but strips of lands clinging onto rocks for their dear lives! Trust me when I say, all my sleep went away. I was alert and awake. And praying. Meanwhile, I noticed a turned over truck and secretly let out a gulp. I noticed that the driver was talking on the phone to someone and finally started to say my last prayers. Everytime the van approached a turn I had to hold my breath. It was terrifying (and feels funny now). The drop in air pressure had conveniently left me light-headed with funny things happening to my eardrums. And while I was cruising through and praying for my dear life, I realised how I don’t want to sit in that metal box but get out and reach out for the mountains, and dip my feet in that freezing turquoise water, and take a deep breath in that low-pressure air. Ah.

We arrived at 10am, tired and sleep-deprived, at a government school at Narayanbagar-Chamoli, Uttarakhand. Adjusted and got around the place. There’s a river nearby. Met friends who are here for the last slot (they left today). Dozed off, fatigue I guess. Chilly weather. Perhaps 20-21. Just perfect. There’s an oscillatory weather variation from sunny to overcast to rain here. Breathtaking mountain views.

Night fell. Had dinner. And sat down to teach kids. And boy oh boy, as I was teaching them I realised that I am learning hindi. A myriad terms and a myriad variations. And perhaps you are well aware of my love for linguistics and languages in general. Someone told me it’s already 10pm and then I realised how quickly the two hours went by. Someone later complimented my teaching (Not the first time, perhaps I should consider this as a serious profession?). The girl who I was teaching told me that I should take physics (it was informal today so I taught physics just for kicks) and I coyly laughed telling her that I am supposed to teach English. Good day, I guess. Very good day, in fact.

Day 2 (1 Jun)

I slept late because surprisingly, A² texted and informed me of her latest breakup. That dwindled into an unplanned hour long video call till 2am where every single bone of my body was screaming for sleep. Anyway, I woke up later than others at 8am which is early by hostel standards anyways. Perhaps, its the amazing climate and aura of this place. Only city life destroys the last remnants of sanity in humanity.

I took an unplanned chemistry class for 9th because the person who was supposed to had some predicaments so I conceded. We went for a walk around the place and found myself at the river and I saw the most breathtaking views of gigantic mountains and turquoise blue water bravely cutting through rocks. Air so clean (oh nvm, I think I have already raved about all this) and I saw step farming and crossed a bridge. I took videos of my feet dipping in river water as cold as ice.

Personal hygiene seems to be suffering I guess because I am lazy always and there doesn’t seem to be much impetus in terms of infrastructure here either. Anyways.

Me and A will probably get back together.

Day 3 & 4 (2 & 3 Jun)

A and I will probably not get back together. Somebody has to make me believe in the existence of love once again. To make me believe that it is easy for two people to meet and start liking each other just like that. But I think that would require a miracle in its own right.

Realisations are a funny thing. Like the first time I realised that my music is only mine to keep and nobody else gives a fuck about the music I like. I am setting this biology question paper for these village kids in these hilly areas where the general aspiration is to get into the army (for boys) and to become a teacher or a nurse (for a girl), and these are questions about Darwinism and Mendel’s laws and excuse me for wondering but I really do wonder what good is any of it for these kids? And isn’t mine own endeavour or whatever you want to call this little thing that I am doing here (and supposed to do for 15 days), isn’t this supposed to be my unconscious way of coping with the fact that I am more “privileged” than these poor souls and somewhere deep down I know that I am responsible for their conditions? And once I ask this question, all acts of kindness becomes tainted by my selfish perversion. There is no absolute kindness. We are just bundles of contradictions.

Anyways, I hark back to the days when I learnt about Mendel and genetics and I remember how excited I was, to being able to understand a hidden law of nature, a law that pervades one of our deepest pillars of civilisation. Yeah, maybe I am a Romantic. But what do these kids care? Their incentive is to get passing mark in an exam and get the hell done with it and get on with life, not a life of 9-5 and AC and weekly nightclubs but a life of real struggle and pain and sacifice. And it breaks my heart. It really does.

Some worldly update:

Went to a stream nearby with water so clear I could see the waterbed. It was so unreal. I had rainbow trout for lunch today. It had a distinctive taste, perhaps what really fresh tastes like. I am freaking tired and exhausted and fatigued and everything in between. I had to coax myself to sit down to write this even. I studied 10th genetics in pure hardcore hindi myself with all the terms etc and delivered a 3 hour lecture on it. Then took a 45 mins English class. Attended a BSP³ meet. Finally took a 1 hour doubt session on IUPAC nomenclature for organic compounds. And just finished setting a biology question paper for 10th graders. But surprisingly I am fine mentally. IIT has conditioned me to be tough for sure. And I love this.

Day 5 (4 Jun)

If everybody turned into a nihilist one day and realised that all their efforts must go in vain and there is no real good that will ever come out of it, then the world would be unlivable. Yes, this is irrational but we must allow irrationality in our deepest fundamental belief system. We must toil in the face of defeat knowing very well that none of it matters. Perhaps that is the beauty of it.

Yesterday, an eleventh grade girl stood up and answered “What is my aim in life?”, a question I had posed as part of a writing task. And she answered that she wanted to be an engineer and crack JEE. And I was overcome by a strong sense of irony and guilt. Is it ever possible for a girl living here in this alcove to ever experience the cutthroat competition that exists “out there”? Such guileless honesty was commendable yet vacuous. Is it ever possible for this girl to really crack JEE? Is she aware of the kind of sacrifices JEE requires? Who will provide her with the resources? Is it just one of the many pipe dreams that dot the miserable and sad Indian landscape? Most likely.

When you are free, interesting thoughts come to the head. I was wondering what these kids think about us. Carefree days with unbounded playing and accountability. One day this uncle comes and imposes 4 hours of study followed by a 3hr weekly test. I wonder if this is how Indians felt when the East India Company came to India started interfering in economic and political activities. A little far-fetched come to think of it now but fun thought anyway.

BSP had a full team meet planned on Sunday at 4pm. But the gang here decided to go to the river to bath and boy oh boy, it was SO fun. I basically ditched the full team meet to go dipping (clothed) in the river lol. But I am not to be blamed. I HATE online meets. Anyways, let’s talk about the fun part. The water so freezing I had never felt before. I was literally trembling. It was amazing.

I finished watching Death Proof, a Tarantino, in installments, albeit. Kick ass movie. Weaker than his other works but still very tastefully Tarantino. As I have maintained that Tarantino movies are “delicious”. This was all the bit the same.

Day 6 (Jun 5)

My laptop battery kinda went bust (I think I already told you) and now I have to stay connected to power just to operate my laptop which means I am extremely paranoid to work on anything important on the laptop now thanks to the frequent power cuts here (I am writing this blog on my iPad). I guess it’s all part of the hill side village experience. That day I went to the bathroom all mentally prepred to have a long and relaxing bath only to find no water in the bathroom. I was lucky to have the hindsight to check for water before applying soap. Otherwise it would have been a sure disaster.

I woke up today morning and saw these kids who start arriving around 7:30 for class starts at 8, touching my feet out of respect. It was an extremely sweet gesture.

Rawat sir arrived and with him arrived a ray of hope. He teaches biology to 10,11 and 12. He had to take leave for the weekend and I had to fill in for him which was a thoroughly new experience and involved learning 10th biology in pure hindi and teaching it to kids. I feel better that I don’t have to do it now.

We went out on an unplanned trek through the mountains and I took my iPad. A totally enthralling experience with me literally clinging onto rocks for dear life. I sketched the view from high a top the hill too. Hehe.

I was wondering if it is rational to love just one person throughout one’s life. You know if they are far away, then to sworn into modesty, and keep a picture in your breast pocket which you hold to bed at night and silently endure the pain of not being together and to imagine the conversations you would have if they would be there right at that moment through the night whilst the other person has long forgotten you (and being practical and rational) moved on and started “loving” someone else. Does it really make any sense?

I started reading Lord of the Rings finally. I kinda like the book.

Day 7 (Jun 6)

Fairly normal but tiresome day somehow. I watched Drive movie - the one starring Ryan Gosling and its soooo good. The gut to leave behind the girl and the money (obviously metaphors of things you achieved in your life) and just walk away in the end is unbelievable. Moreover, BSP inception meet was so fun! I slept early.

Day 8 (Jun 7)

The head of the coaching program here is a 60 something professor names J. P. Dabral. Possibly a graduate of IIT Delhi himself, this project is his brainchild. Now, Mr. Dabral cuts a picture of authority and sheer intimidation. But underneath he is a humanitarian figure who has seen many days of adventure (that is obvious from the various stories and anecdotes he relishes to share with us) and holds a high degree of ideal for himself. When I talk to him (which is rarely so but I’m warming up to the idea) I can sense years of wisdom in that calm voice that replies and a certain unnamed satisfaction and contentment that is evident of a happening life. That day he told us about how he served as a assistant to a photographer for a Bollywood film! The other day he told us about the time he had the urge to learn bee-keeping and enrolled in a course for the same. Stay tuned for more information about Dabral sir!

As you may know, we (8 boys and 3 girls from IITD) are staying in the head school of this village which is one of the many in this block, the district has 9 such blocks. And starting 10am or so, human voices can be heard from the adjoining room which remains locked and a banner reads “Virtual Classroom”. The aforementioned Dabral sir educates us about this curious phenomenon with the knowledge that this is supposed to be how kids would be learning in the village. The Virtual Classroom is equipped with gadgets and computers, etc. But due to incorrigible management there is a teacher but no students, What a shitshow is the Indian administration and education system.

I went on a walk with few fellow volunteers and had the sweetest and darkest sugarcane juice followed by a feet dip in the river. Walked through beautiful and grand paths that cut through rocks and tall trees that bowed to the whims of the wind. The silhouette of the hilltop trees seem to be alive and swaying like hordes of men cloaked in black and on a procession of death or something. I heard this story of a 23 year old girl from Lucknow who has been saying in this part of the world for two months. Everybody wants to get away. Every place has their culture. A peculiar thing I noticed here is complete shutdown of markets and shops by 8pm simply because it gets dark beyond bearability so its basically impossible to get any productive work done after that.

I don’t really know how to put this but this idea doesn’t seem to leave my head so I have to put it in some form. I have noticed how each generation of people come up and exclaim “Oh lord, this is the end. The world hasn’t been more fucked up. Culture is declining, kids don’t respect their elders, climate change is killing the planet, and so on and on” and yet, and yet civilisation seems to exist just fine. Why is that? It is because when people pop up on the scene and by this phrase I mean get conscious and aware enough to ask meaningful questions after acquiring knowledge they fail to acknowledge the existence of a long line of ancestors and their history and their thoughts. For example, for me the world started to exist in 2003. Anything before that is simply a word of faith; mere collection of words or pixels. The limitation of the human brain combined with the explosion of information forces most of us to ever only process only a certain section of history - the part that is most relevant to that individual’s survival (an engineer might get away without knowing anything about geopolitics). And this is what creates a gaping information crisis with each generation looking at certain superficial indicators - country’s GDP, unemployment ratio, sex ratio etc and jumping to conclusions. What is really problematic is when we ask the question - how to track these indicators and a civilisation’s health across ages? Is there ever any objective way to truly measure this? Sure, we can (and do) measure it by reading history books but that’s very troublesome for a number of reasons. Sadly, I think it is impossible. You may ask - why is it important to ask this question. Well, otherwise how will we ever know if civilisation is actually failing? And I think that is an important thing to keep track of.

The analogy of streetlamps. Each individual is a streetlamp and the area illuminated by it is the area od understanding of that lamp. It may be possible that two lamps illuminate the same area in which case these individuals agree with each other but for the most part, each lamps is only ever capable of illuminating a fraction of the entire area that can be illuminated. The responsibility of the journalist is to illuminate as large an area as possible.

Day 12 (Jun 11)

You might have notices my negligence in regularity and slip into frivolous carelessness. Well I never boasted of myself as a good blogger :D. Anyhow, not much of interest has been happening or anything that I haven’t already talked about. Or I have been waiting to accumulate more thoughts. Or maybe all this conjecturisation is bullshit and I have been pure lazy. I’ll leave it to you to choose.

But today, my dear friend, I washed my clothes. With my own hands. I know. BIG DEAL. Part of the exposing myself to new experiences narrative. Learnt it from another volunteer, Amrita at the camp. Surprisingly, it is a very tiresome procedure. Extremely.

As this camp draws to an end, an unfound happiness seems to be springing from within my heart; a happiness rooted in satisfaction and the realisation of the end of a long and painstaking wait to see A again. I cannot believe that we will be together once again and I could listen to her IRL and not via those frustrated video calls.

Today was my 3rd day at an inland spring here at Narayan Bagar. I think I have talked about the spring/lake thing before. The water so clean I can see the riverbed. Also, little ill today because of that I guess.

I was wondering how serendipitous this vacation has really been for me - from barely making up my mind to filling up the form to almost giving up and walking out of the interview because I was intimidated by all the Hindi teaching idea to actually teaching biology in Hindi to kids - this vacation has been a vacation of many firsts and a much needed getaway and therapy that I needed. The best things in life happen not by coercion but on their own?

I wish I could stay here longer you know for another fortnight but unfortunately I have MCP101 back at campus. Might be better than rotting back in Kolkata but all’s well, all’s well.

I read the first two chapters of the Gita in English and it opens at a very dramatic moment where Arjuna is having a moral crisis standing between the two armies ready to shred each other to pieces. Krishna is standing by as a counsel and by answering Arjuna’s questions is actually teaching us moral philosophy. But somehow, just somehow all these religious scriptures seem to fall into the same pattern. You must abstain from X but it will not tell why. You must do Y but it will leave the mind-numbing problem of doing Y to the poor reader. It will mention itself as great and market itself as a text that if understood would lavish the reader with superior intellect but it will never tell us how to do that. And I find that especially funny (and disconcerting about religious texts) that it treats its readers as buffons. The way to escape from the clutches of desire is to not have any desire to begin with. But what life would that be - plain and bland and without purpose if it is devoid of desire? Krishna never tells us how to manage our desires if we have them but to simply not have them. I don’t necessarily agree with this hard-conservative approach to life. It is ascetic and careless to the point of stupidity. Also, I notice how the Gita begins on an extremely charged and violent premise where Krishna is literally instigating Arjuna to become manly and fight and shed blood and yet people only seem to notice Jihad. Silly people.

LOTR progress: Frodo has encountered Barrow-wight and got rescued by Tom Bombadillo on his way to Rivendall.

Jun 13 (Day 14)

The other day I looked up at the stars and luckily it wasn’t cloudy and I saw a hemisphere of embedded jewels in the cosmic bowl. It was a maginificent image. So many stars and such beauty!

My long (and unkempt) hair seems to be quite a hit here among the students and other volunteers. I have noticed the topic discussed multiple times in different conversations. People here seem to be more driven by physical apperances, the mark of a superficial mindset.

Another thing I have noticed is the curiosity around my name and the innate human need to understand or as Elizier puts it, to “rationalise” the unknown or unfamiliar. To this end, I have heard people rationalise my name as another name for Tulsi (especially those with a Hindu persuasion) while Christians are content with some priest like St. Basil. And so we roll, not to mention, all the attention I get around me.

I have been asked this question on multiple occassions and here too, “Where are you from?”, “What are you?” People can give simple answers like Bengali or Punjabi or Marwadi. But I am at a loss of words when I am to answer this question. And I have pondered a lot. I am not a Hindu Bengali, I am definitely not a Muslim Bengali. I am not Bihari anymore (my granddad was born in Kolkata) but some generation did migrate from Bihar. So who am I? This need to identify with a group is not something I deeply care about. I believe in making my own identity.

Jun 14 (Day 15)

Today was Harsh sir’s birthday. He is a computer science graduate currently working in Gurgaon. Party was on him. Crazy good hogya. Moreover, got cake and stuff up here in the mountains and did a cake cutting proper. Fun. I also noticed how I have been spared a lot of the financial burden by virtue of me being the youngest in the group. This is a peculiar tendency of humans to sympthasise with the youngest of the lot. Financials as in party expenses, small things. That day I heard Manish sir talk about how he was asked to pay for the extra parathe he was taking.

I have been taking class 11th chemistry for a week now and it has been super super tiring.

experiencing a different bond with the students - beginning to understsand how teachers feel - you know that feeling when you have given a piece of yourself effectively to someone else. its the other side of the student-teacher dynamics. fun fun stuff.

bad dreams - apple pencil getting destroyed.

Jun 17 (Day 18)

Today was a hectic day. It was my official last day on the teaching volunteer programme at Narayan-Bagar. Morning was marked by the weekly exam followed by checking answers. A last trip to the river stream and a bath there. One of my students in class 12, Neha, drew a sketch of me on my iPad. It touched my heart. I also brought clothes for mom and sister which took me an hour since I had to video call and stuff. Got myself a pahadi cap too. Always been a family guy. Many farewells and a few teary eyes and some more heart-touching moments such as kids touching my feet out of respect. Oh my god.

Did I tell you about me learning about the Mahabharata from a hindu spiritual guy who also volunteered? I have sketches of it also. Fun stuff.

Jun 18 (Day 19)

Travelled all day. Got delayed at a few places due to traffic jam but reached campus in one piece and crashed to bed after a video call with A. The journey took almost 15 hours. It’s supposed to be 10 hours.

That’s it I guess. Hell of an adventure.

Footnotes

1: Satpura is the name of one of the eleven boys hostel at IIT Delhi.
2: Removing name for obvious reasons.
3: BSP stands for Board for Student Publications, the official student-run media body of IIT Delhi, where I’m a Chief Editor.

Life update: Me and A broke up.

Reading Pygmalion: Shaw's criticism of the English language and society

gs454236@gmail.com (Basil Labib) — Mon, 01 May 2023 16:45:38 +0530

There are two central questions at the heart of “Pygmalion” - the more obvious, is the question of identity and how easy or difficult it is to render a different identity to a person and the second, more subtle question is of the very plausibility of the metrics used for class distinction - namely speech in this case. In fact, phonetics would undoubtedly have been a close affair with the author himself, a Dublin-based clerk with his Irish accent wishing to make his career as a writer in England. Classified as a “romance comedy”, “Pygmalion” is a scatching satire on class distinctions in nineteenth-century England. It is, also, a tantalizing reworking of the ancient Ovidian myth in a modern feminist light. And, a cheeky commentary on the English language itself.

Rex Harrison as Henry Higgins and Audrey Hepburn as Eliza Doolittle in My Fair Lady (1964)

Concerning the English language

Although, having assumed the throne of the lingua franca due to various reasons, linguists and scholars have long debated and agreed on the shortcomings of the English language. And perhaps, you have too. if you have used it for long enough. The utter disregard for phonetic values (imagine the many ways you have heard people pronounce the vowel ‘a’) and absence of a much richer English alphabet to accommodate for the various speech values have led to different cluster of people assigning different sounds to the poor 26 alphabets - the five vowels having suffered the most. But who really suffers? It is impossible to learn to speak English by merely reading it and it is a grave disability for a language that has come to touch and dominate the lives of most people today. GBS knew of this mediocrity and hence notes in the preface of the play - “The reformer we need most today is an energetic phonetic enthusiast: that is why I have made such a one the hero of a popular play.”

But he is not ashamed of his language, in fact, he revels and prides himself in it. Note how our astute and learned Professor Henry Higgins preaches in Act 1:

HIGGINS: “Remember that you are a human being with a soul and the divine gift of articulate speech: that your native language is the language of Shakespeare and Milton and The Bible…”

I can only imagine whether it was painful for GBS to love his mother tongue in spite of its impediment or perhaps for it.

The feminism of Pygmalion

In GBS’s masterful command of language, his commentary and reproaches are not glaringly on the face but gather subtle. Take for instance, when Liza in Act 5 expresses her anguish at being reduced to just another bourgeois lady at the mercy of her “lord” the husband.

ELIZA: “We were above that at the corner of Tottenham Court Road…I sold flowers. I didnt sell myself. Now youve made a lady of me I’m not fit to sell anything else.”

Brilliant is GBS’s manner of criticising the condition and status of woman in the English society. He doesn’t refrain from unleashing the impudence of the official police body when Liza, young and foolish and tender as she was, shows considerable maturity and knowledge as to the behaviour of the policeman while she is in a loving embrace with Freddy on the road:

FREDDY: “I had no idea the police were so devilishly prudish.”
LIZA: “It’s their business to hunt girls off the streets.”

A superficial reading of the text might direct us to believe that Mr. Higgins must be a distraught misogynist as he liberally humiliates the female kind and garners the most creative insults on poor Eliza (“draggletailed guttersnipe” and “squashed cabbage leaf” for instance). That sheer hatred towards women might also have translated to his aversion to marriage altogether as he declares in Act 2:

HIGGINS: “Women upset everything.”

But consider Higgins once again. His only female contact, perhaps, has been his mother, a cultured, refined and gentle lady, versed in the arts and the literature. Naturally, a man brought up witnessing such delicate and superior manners and not mere gaudy in class but one, that comes truly and deeply from the soul of a noble character, would seek the company of a woman in equal if not better. Therein lies the dilemma as such fair women of noble characters are scarce and few, as society happens to turn most of them on their toes to duties and responsibilities, most becoming of a “woman”. GBS is asking us to elevate the status of the women from mere caregivers to one equal to the modern Englishman so that they become fitting as companion rather than housekeepers in their eyes.

Morality and the middle class: A picture of Mr. Doolittle

PICKERING: “Have you no morals, man?”
DOOLITTLE: “No, no, I can’t afford them, governor. Neither could you if you were as poor as me.”

This brief intercourse between Pickering and Doolittle, a common dustman, is rather instructive of Doolittle’s demeanour. He represents the wretched, ill-mouthed, and rough common man. Right after this dialogue, he engages in a nifty and eloquent persuasion monologue where he soundly (and impressively) convinces Higgins to pay five pounds for his daughter Eliza. But ironically, this intense repulsion towards what Doolittle calls “middle-class morality” bears little fruit as he himself is forced to accept middle-class morality. He quickly engages his oratory skills to good use at an opportune time and climbs the ladders of the social class. What does Shaw want to say? Perhaps he wants to indicate the possibility of how a man with little means can accrue wealth and status in time based on his skills. Or perhaps, he didn’t think this much and left Mr. Doolittle as a comical digression from the main concern.

A commentary on the namesake

It is unmistakable to miss the tribute of the play’s title to the Greek mythology of Pygmalion and Galatea. But although Pygmalion did fall in love with his creation, Shaw refused to let his creation be just a mere reiteration of the same old story. In this play, Mr. Higgins, harboring his intense hatred towards women (an indicator of the misogynistic society at that time), never falls in love, although he did admit to having “grown accustomed to her face”. And perhaps, the greatest triumph of Shaw in Pygmalion is the last couple of pages of Act 5 where, unlike her Greek counterpart, Eliza stands up for her rights and dignity, putting to good use the same lessons of articulation and speech that her teacher had taught her.

ELIZA: “I want a little kindness. I know I’m a common ignorant girl and you are a book-learned gentleman. But I’m not dirt under your feet.”

Shaw saw Eliza, not merely as another “live doll” to be manipulated by English men but as a tender and thoughtful independent woman. It is such a delight to read through Higgins and her conversation where she systematically dismantles the falsely assumed pedestal of Higgin’s English superiority and presents her concerns and demands to him. And I think Pygmalion is a brilliant play, if for nothing then just that.

A Case for Politics: Carpets, Catharsis, and other Conundrums

gs454236@gmail.com (Basil Labib) — Wed, 19 Apr 2023 00:09:27 +0530

It’s mid-april, that merry time of the year when the campus is released from the noose of tension and treachery. The student elections have just concluded and people are turning back to studying and turning their backs from speculating, amidst scalding Delhi heat. IIT Delhi has five boards - BSW, BRCA, BSP, BSA, and BHM under the aegis of SAC and a different council called CAIC. All these boards have various posts (the description of which can be found by the reader via an internet search) for which students are elected by various electorals. [3]

In this post, I wish to talk about politics. That word which kept the night messes buzzing with activity and common rooms occupied with whispered conversations, late night meetings behind closed doors and brilliant minds charting elaborate masterplans. But none of the usual stuff. I want to take a bird eye view of politics. I have things to say for poltu [0], not against it.

The first man to fence in a piece of land, saying “this is mine” and who found people simple enough to believe him, was the real founder of civil society. - Rousseau

It seems like we can divide the IITD junta into two broad classes: One who thinks of poltu as some malicious alien from another planet, something that is to be dreaded in its entirety and not talked about, and only in hushed voices, if at all. And the second class which doesn’t understand it.

Why politics? My - admittedly chief-ed-esque - TLDR to that: Because politics gets the job done.

History 101

A bit of good ‘ol history first. Humans are the most unorganised species on earth, lacking pheromonal receptive abilities like ants, or auditory evolutions like lions, or ultrasonic organs like fishes. But we evolved with the single most magnificent object - the brain. And so it was. We built our own meta organisation structures by means of language and trust. And this is very important. The tribe leader was the tribe leader because he can be trusted to fight with other tribe leaders to protect the tribe. Gradually, these ethics and obviousities were codified into laws, engraved onto clay tablets, and sent off to every corner of the “kingdom” by the “king”. This was the birth of civilization. Note that the average tribe count was 100-150. The metropolis I live in today is home to 30 million people. If I was to summarise what enabled human beings to band together and coordinate in such huge numbers, it would be: hierarchy.

Storytelling ourselves everyday

We came up with totally nonsensical rules such as “Every citizen is answerable to a bunch of other citizens called judges in a building called the Supreme Court which is responsible to dole out justice and other things to everyone” or “The employee has to work for the boss given some compensation.” and hundreds of more and made them sensical by agreeing to believe in them. Nothing is physically holding back people from revolting except these entirely imaginary structures. It is only the stories we tell ourselves. Maybe take a minute to stop reading and ponder how brilliant this is.

Social hierarchy was a purely ad hoc human invention, one ironically facilitated by another ad hoc human invention - money. Social status and financial status quickly became intertwined for reasons that are beyond the scope of this article. Politics helped decide who gets to be on the top of the hierarchy. Politics ensured that only the most able and competent rose to the top. And I would go so far as to argue that it was okay to spill a little blood and stab someone in the back - just a little treachery as long as the one who died was less able to run the state, kingdom whatever. Political institutions are the free market of human intelligence. [2]

IITD and politics

I think it is irresponsible to wholly reject the idea of politics just because it appears “evil” and shady or worse yet, to have a totally wrong idea about what it is. And this is what’s wrong with IIT Delhi at the moment. What students should understand is that they are forging themselves to become leaders of tomorrow. And as cocky as it might sound, they are. University is supposed to give them a controlled environment to hone those skills and develop a unique personality, one grounded in integrity and truth. Students should feel a deep responsibility to question candidates and ensure that the most able ones rise to the top. Half the people have the wrong idea about what politics is and the other half doesn’t seem to care. I believe more and more people should talk about politics and student politics and no more in hushed voices because cowards do that. And we should not forget to be prepared to listen for 10 times as long as we speak. And that’s how one creates a political structure that would lead to prosperity and greatness.

[0] poltu is one of those cringey IITD contractions for the word politics. I shall use poltu for the rest of the article, excuse my transgression, but I find it befitting given the subject at hand.

[2] If this feels like straight out of a Harari book, then I must compliment your reading habit.

[3] The pedantic might raise their eyebrows when I say BSP has elected members and it does not. BSP posts are nominated and decided by a number of professors.

Proofread by Mahima Mukherjee

Watchlog

gs454236@gmail.com (Basil Labib) — Sun, 16 Apr 2023 21:26:29 +0530

This page contains a list of movies/series that I have watched or am watching. I tried doing this before but couldn’t maintain and went into an entire “phase” but anyways, here we go again.

I have moved on to Letterboxd for my movie reviews. Please check me out here !

2025

Nosferatu | Robert Eggers | 2024
Submarine | Richard Ayoade | 2010
The Elephant Man | David Lynch | 1980

Since I was already conditioned into the Lynchian aesthetics via Mulholland Drive and Blue Velvet (which IMO distinctly define Lynch’s movies), watching The Elephant Man was a welcome change. It was nothing like other Lynchian horrors (treats?) - it retains all surrealistic horrific setting and yet at its core, it’s a tale of humanity and I think that just increases my respect for Lynch manifold.

TEM explores the theme of being different and the personal struggles of a person who finds themselves on the other side of the majority. Lynch doesn’t resort to any classical identity classes but invents one to candidly and metaphorically express his own predicaments of being inherently different with no fault of one’s own. It may be an understatement to say I love the film, I love love it because somewhere deep down I relate to it so much but then so would everyone.

I think the tension of identity is most wholeheartedly expressed when Mr. Merrick screams at the subway, “I am not an animal. I am a human being.” I love that scene so much - it is both a sign of acceptance and resignation. There were multiple times when I got teary-eyed (“I feel happy every hour of the day”).

Mr. Merrick turned out to be so different from what I imagined him to be - a monster, a menace but instead, he turned out to be a gentleman of refined tastes with an interest in theater and arts.

The movie comments on the glaring poverty and the class difference between the high-class English and the sewer-banished rats - this constrast is especially apparent when we follow Mr. Merrick from his captivity and oppression under Mr. Bytes to his freedom with Mr. Treves.

And yet, we wonder if Merrick is free at all as Mr. Treves very candidly questions himself in the middle of the night if he is any different from Mr. Bytes in turning Merrick into a curiosity.

PS: I watched this movie as part of a Lynch movie marathon in an attempt to my tribute to the great visionary.
Dune | David Lynch | 1984
Children of Heaven | Majid Majidi | 1997
Wheel Of Fortune and Fantasy | Ryusuke Hamaguchi | 2021

A collection of three short films which investigates the delicate and complex emotion of love and relationship and what critically examines what it really means to connect (or try to connect) with another human being. I loved the terse and potent writing, the dialogues were well-written, the acting was top-notch, and the shots - ah, the shots. A modern-day must-watch for anyone struggling with the idea of ’love'.
Girls Will Be Girls | Shuchi Talati | 2024
The Umbrellas of Cherbourg | Jacques Demy | 1964

Nice movie, love the colours but I only want to say, not every Guy has a Madeleine waiting for him.
Leaving Las Vegas | Mike Figgis | 1995

Life is hard, man, what else can I say? I love and hate this film at the same time.

The story of an alcoholic who falls in love with a prostitute in Las Vegas. I think its a story about acceptance and the fact that life is so short and insignificant so nothing ever matters. I mean I had to pause the film because I was either wheezing or teary-eyed. It is very potent and brutal at places. Not an easy watch definitely. And yet, it has moments of tenderness and love and one is left thinking, how can something as “pure” and “novel” as love spark between two of the (supposed) most lowly creatures in the rugs of the societal ladder and that is, indeed, the paradox.

PS: Elisabeth Shue is so damn beautiful in this film.
Uncut Gems | Safdie Bros | 2019

Ahahaha, love it.
Antiporno | Sion Sono | 2016
Love Exposure | Sion Sono | 2008

What was bro cooking? (I’m crying) Seriously, what the fuck did I just watch? Was it a romance? Was it porn? Was it religious cult film? WHAT WAS THIS??? Why cannot it just be a simple rom-com? Why were the characters so fucked up?? I think that’s what made them memorable. I’m seriously crying - never been so fucked up and confused. I don’t know if Sion is a genius or a pervert. What is wrong (right?) about this film???
300 | Zack Synder | 2006
The Maltese Falcon | John Huston | 1941
Like Crazy | Drake Doremus | 2011
Purple Hearts | Elizabeth Allen Rosenbaum | 2022

Cringe but cute.cute
Sir | Rohena Gera | 2020
Tune in for Love | Jung Ji-Woo | 2018

A serendipitous experiment turned into a cute and endearing watch.
On Your Wedding Day | Lee Seok-geun | 2018

Cringe but cute. I think I’m growing a liking to these Korean romcoms. Guilty pleasure maybe?
Sympathy for Mr. Vengeance | Park Chan-wook | 2002

Love it. Park Chan-wook has this very distinctive style where he shows snapshots of the result and not how we got there in terms of narration - like a snapshot narrative style.
Y Tu Mama Tubein (And your mother too) | Alfonso Cuaron | 2001

Damn, they don’t make films like this anymore. Well ahead of its time - the chemistry, the passion, the energy, loved it all!
Cruel Intentions | Roger Kumble | 1999
Peaky Blinders S02 | Series
Fallen Leaves | Aki Kaurismäki | 2023
25th Hour | Spike Lee | 2002
Captain Phillips | Paul Greengrass | 2013
Peaky Blinders S03 | Series
Children of Men | Alfonso Cuaron | 2006
The Revenant | Alejandro G. Innaritu | 2015
Close-Up | Abbas Kiarostami | 1990
A Room With A View | James Ivory | 1986
In Bruges | Martin McDonagh | 2008
Network | Sidney Lumet | 1976

Letterboxd review .

PS: I finally gave in to the temptation of joining Letterboxd. Sue me. I’ll still update my lists here though and only link to Letterboxd for any reviews. I figured its better management and better for reference and sharing.

2024

Dilwale Dulhania Le Jayenge | Aditya Chopra | 1995
East of Eden | Elia Kazan | 1955
Anatomy of a Fall | Justine Triet | 2023
The Holdovers | Alexander Payne | 2023
Passages | Ira Sachs | 2023

Passages is, at its heart, a warning for practitioners of lust and polluters of the concept of love. It follows a gay marriage in Paris which is jeopardised after one of them (the arrogant filmmaker) realises that he likes to sleep with women. This bisexual love triangle steadily goes down in flames as the plot progresses, an evident outcome from the get-go.

Passages doesn’t shy away from intimacy and I think those bold scenes, often bordering on visceral, effectively makes up for the lack of build-up for us to care enough about the characters. The film runs for only 90 minutes, thus, barely leaving space to setup the characters. The sex, atleast, helps us to connect with them immediately. This is, of course, in stark contrast to Indian films which tend to be more extravagant in nature. The act of film watching in India has been a social event - a carnival in fact. Groups of friends and family and neighbours and small kids all sticking together craning their necks at a small TV screen. The West starkly differs in its interpretation of cinema - one where film watching is a personal affair, a practical one. IMO, this is one reason why non-Indian films tend to be much shorter than their Bollywood counterparts.

Passages is colourful and stylish and expensive. The characters are tasteful and have an implicit personality that goes beyond the screen or the script. Good, short watch but nothing especially extaordinary.
Joyland | Saim Sadiq | 2022

Joyland is not a joyride at all. It was an extremely hard watch for me personally.
Hot Fuzz | Edgar Wright | 2007

A very typical Edgar Wright. Highly stylised, with quick cuts, and hyperdramatised and quirky characters. The puns and the hidden clues make it an endearing comedy detective story. But at the same time, it has oodles of gore which is very typical Wright of passage (sorry not sorry).

Very nice friends watch.
Animal | Sandeep Reddy Vanga | 2023
In The Name of God | Anand Patwardhan | 1992
Sholay | Ramesh Sippy | 1975
House of Secrets: The Burari Deaths | Series | 2023
One Day | Series | 2024
Total Recall | Paul Verhoeven | 1990
The Peanut Butter Falcon | Tyler Nilson, Micheal Schwartz | 2019
The Zone of Interest | Jonathan Glazer | 2023
Taken 1, 2, and 3 | Multiple directors | Multiple years
Delhi Belly | Abhinay Deo | 2011
Sicario | Denis Villeneuve | 2015
Poor Things | Yorgos Lanthimos | 2023
The Lobster | Yorgos Lanthimos | 2015
Wake Up Sid | Ayan Mukherji | 2009
Up | Pete Docter | 2009
Lust Stories | Anthology, Multiple Directors | 2018
Lust Stories 2 | Anthology, Multiple Directors | 2023
American Pie | Paul Weitz | 1999
Persona | Ingmar Bergman | 1966
The Favourite | Yorgos Lanthimos | 2018
Swades | Ashutosh Gowariker | 2004
Dune 2 | Denis Villenueve | 2024
Withnail and I | Bruce Robinson | 1987
Kingdom of Heaven | Ridley Scott | 2005
Heathers | Michael Lehmann | 1988

As already admitted by the writers of this movie, Heathers was intended to show the more realist side of American high school drama and the brazen alternative social order that exists within them, a clear departure from the string of feel-good high school dramas that flooded the public domain back then, such as those by John Hughes.

Heathers takes the mere act of survival in the brutal landscape of the high school and takes it to an extreme as it meddles with the highly improbable event of a psychopath ending up killing a number of the “popular” kids and getting away with it because as Jason “J.D.” Dean puts it, “TThe only place where different social types can genuinely get along with each other is in heaven!” He is referring to the natural social schism that exists in high school and how it is impossible to overcome it by any form of mortal intervention whatsoever, hence, the only place that differences can be overcome is in heaven.

Perhaps, the most horrible instance is reflected in the school’s reaction to the “actual” suicide attempt of Martha, a not-so-popular girl as they end up turning the matter into mockery and ridicule.

Heather Duke: Just some broken bones. Just another geek trying to imitate the popular people and failing miserably.

Popularly, JD is often seen as a villain, a psychopath as I happen to mention before, but really he is a saviour of this miserable hellhole as he is making an attempt to stir the pot filled with both kids and adults who are too full of themselves. As he prepares to blow up the school, here is his petition

We, the students of Westerburg High will die
Our burnt bodies may finally get through to you
Your society churns out slaves and blanks
…

Great film overall. Both in the subjects it explores and in style.
The Ministry of Ungentlemanly Warfare | Guy Ritchie | 2024
Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy | Tomas Alfredson | 2011
Ikiru (To Live) | Akira Kurosawa | 1957

Inspired by Tolstoy’s novella The Death of Ivan Iliych, Ikiru is one of those thought-provoking movies that will make one pause and ponder. Following the life of a widower government official who has spent his entire life working is confronted with the news of his inevitable death, the movie explores themes of mortality and existentialism. With that gaping, wide-eyed face shot of Mr. Wanatabe staring directly at the camera, it almost feels like staring deep into our souls, asking us, nope, pleading us to question: What are we doing? and not to end up wasting time waiting to live life and to do it straight away.

I haven’t watched a film in recent time that is so simple and quiet in structure yet so enriched with layered narratives and the kind of emotions that it provokes. “You discover the beauty of life only when confronted with death” solemnly declares Mr. Watanabe’s stranger accomplice at the bar when he confides in him. Through a night of repulsive camaraderie, evidently a doomed attempt of denial, Watanabe ponders on his 30 years of “distinguished service” to the Public Affairs section where not a new thing ever happened and the next day is just like the last. He wonders what has he achieved in those years of working and saving? How has he growned inwardly? And outwardly?

The central theme that Ikiru explores is the purpose of a man’s life. And Kurosawa tells us that inspite of all vanities and debaucheries that comes so naturally to man, it is effectively in the service of others that his heart will find peace, sooner or later. That is exactly what Mr. Watanabe sets out to do after he’s enlightened at the restaurant sitting with a young and charming woman - his subordinate at the office. He expresses his envy for her youth and health and craves: “I want to be alive like you”.

The movie is also a sharp commentary on the laughably inefficient Japanese bureaucracy (which is satirically established in that opening montage of “department hopping”) but that is about it. Right from passioned proclaims of his drunk accomplices at his funeral of a renewed spirit in the department, and promises of “to sacrifice the self in the service of many”, straight down to the shot of a protesting officer silently taking his seat when the time comes to act, Kurosawa tells us that all of those promises were fake. Just like the beloved Deputy Mayor who didn’t as much sympathise with the death of his junior who spearheaded the construction of the new park so much as hijack the opportunity to take credit for the upcoming Council elections. Although none of the actions portrayed came as a surprise, each action was predictable and laced with a sense of satire and hypocrisy, which Kurosawa managed to bring out with his excellent craftsmanship.

life is brief
fall in love, maidens
before the crimson bloom
fades from your lips
before the tides of passion
cool within you,
for there is no such thing
as tomorrow, after all.
…
~The Gondola Song
Nightcrawler | Dan Gilroy | 2014
The Cook, The Thief, His Wife And Her Lover | Peter Greenaway | 1989
Tokyo Story | Yasujiro Ozu | 1953

It is rare that one finds a movie that deeply moves something within the soul. For me, Tokyo Story is one such beautifully crafted piece of art. It essentially follows an old couple and their experiences as they visit their children settled in Tokyo. I’ll not say anything else, you have to watch it. Oh, also, 1.25 or 1.5x is recommended.

PS: TIL that TS is the 3rd movie of the Noriko trilogy.

PPS: I’m really sick right now else I would have written more :/
What’s Eating Gilbert Grape | Lasse Hallstrom | 1993
Ship of Theseus | Anand Gandhi | 2012
Manthan | Shyam Benegal | 1976

Manthan, literally meaning Churning, is a film by Shyam Benegal about the liberation of Indian milk producers as they setup their own cooperative society. It is entirely crowdfunded by the Indian farmers.

Watching Manthan invoked quite a lot of emotions throughout the film - those of cooperation and socialism and the perpetual struggle of the good over the evil which we as Indians so love to see on screen. But it is often too difficult to distinguish between the two. In a rural society deeply entrenched in caste politics, it portrayed the somewhat heroic journey of a single man (the Messiah trope) who endlessly persevere to bring about a social revolution at the cost of his own life.

I’m not sure how much of it will be true or effective today but I’m definitely convinced of the power of ideas - which is essentially what the founders of the White revolution were convinced of as well. I think the fact that ideas and not men can bring about social change for the good is aptly portrayed in the movie after the Messiah and his wife is kicked out of the village and the village harijans rise up to continue the cooperative.

I don’t believe that such change is easily brought (in fact, the movie does take quite a few dramatic turns in trying to capture that - the burning of the harijan section of the village, the false accusations of rape against the Messiah) but that must not deter us from beginning. In the end, it is the idea that matters and that, I think, is what the movie is about.
Maqbool | Vishal Bhardwaj | 2004
The Seventh Seal | Ingmar Bergman | 1957
Citizen Kane | Orson Welles | 1941
Fleabag | Harry Bradbeer | 2016

Fleabag was a refreshing break from the kind of monotonous braindump that plagues the webseries industry these days. Starring the brilliant Phoebe Waller-Bridge, who describes herself as “greedy, perverted, selfish, apathetic, cynical, depraved, mannish-looking, morally bankrupt woman who can’t even call herself a feminist” in the series; Fleabag explores the joys and struggles of being a woman - no strings attached.

What really draws one attention is the masterful writing and the sharp and effective dialogues. I would not be too far to say that a lot of Fleabag’s character (yes, the central character is eponymously named after the series) draws inspiration from Phoebe’s own experiences which is, indeed, a mirror of the kind of experiences every woman faces in modern society - hence, the appeal of the show. You can forget all that and watch Fleabag only for its incredible use of breaking the fourth wall. If you are into making films, you can definitely learn a thing or two about how to actually do it. Examples of how not to do it exists in abundance, but this is just that good.

Two seasons felt too short, just to get to see more of Phoebe’s brilliant writing and her insights into life.
Game of Thrones | Multiple Directors | S01-S08

A friend suggested I start watching it. I was initially vehemant but I bit the bullet finally. Sigh.
House of the Dragon | S01-S02
Sex, Lies, and Videotapes | Steven Soderbergh

Well, given the title, this wasn’t really what I was expecting but it’s a really profound film which explores an unspoken, often ignored territory of the human conscience - namely the need to be loved (both physically and emotionally) by another.

It is a complex topic and the movie does an extremely good job of telling that story without wasting too much reel time. The writing is compact and marvellous, the dialogues are concise and well-delivered and god, acting! Just watch James and Andie during their mutual interview. It’s amazing.
Wild | Jean-Marc Vallee | 2014

Very much like the “Into the Wild” and “On the Road” genre but the protagnist is a female who has had a rough time finding herself after her mother died so she went on a hike to find herself. It’s good and feel-good with some heart-pounding scenes but still felt quite generic and one-dimensional.
A Very Long Engagment | Jean-Pierre Jeunet | 2004

Based on a book by the same name, AVLE draws one into its own world of well-written characters and an incredibly tight storyline. The plot is sufficiently involved to keep one engaged. What I liked the most about this movie is the way it had mixed romance with crime-drama. At its own, I think its a crime drama as a large chunk of the movie is about Mathilda investigating what happened to her lover. However, that investigation is given meaning and weight by the love that these star-crossed young lovers share. I loved the shooting and the scenery as it was all shades of ochre and sepia and yellows. And all of the sudden, the colors change to grey and army green and black. The way color has been used to shift the viewer from the past horrors of war to the current peaceful time (and distressful time for Mathilda) is noteworthy.

There were moments when I tore up a little and there were moments when I had to pause for a bit. There are still a few things unclear but that’s because of the French name I think lol. So yeah, very well done movie. Enjoyed it.
Women On The Verge Of A Nervous Breakdown | Pedro Almodovar | 1988

Almodovar has been hailed as one of the best directors that came out of Spain since Luis Buneul - and for good reason. Whether one watches Talk to Her or this, one is unmistakenly reminded of watching the work of a man who is deeply committed to his craft. Just like Talk to Her, Almodovar is not hesitant to tackle a difficult topic - namely infidelity of men and its psychological effect on women. In this movie, we follow Pepa who has recently been dumped by her lover (who is already married to another woman, btw) for a third woman with whom he plans to flee to Stockholm. The plot is essentially Pepa’s two days of frantic pursuit to get in touch with Ivan after he has abruptly ended their relationship. We follow Pepa navigating through her personal problems and assisting other women in her life (Candela for example) whilst herself gradually descending into the abyss of chaos (hence, the title I guess).

The cinematography is fresh and appealing. When one watches a tracking shot of a women’s heel across the floor as she is nervously walking around, evidently waiting for someone - one can feel that urgency in the swaying of the camera. That’s cinema. Or be it when Pepa faints in the studio and we get to see her through her glasses as if we are standing there and yet are so far away from her to help her. It’s incredibly poetic.

One more thing which becomes evident is the usage of colors. Almodovar really goes overboard here and brings us the most delicious, eclectic, and bright colors right from ripe tomatoes to the dress Pepa wears at home - there’s a story being told here too. If you’re like me, you’ll probably notice how “fake” everything looks. That also ties into the mise-en-scene in general, we find a lot of fakeness around, the proportions are off, the props look fake, it’s as if we are far away from reality - in a woman’s dream? (nightmare?). Even if I’m reading too much into it, I like this interpretation more.

I’ll end with this dialogue between Pepa and Candela after Candela tries to jump off the terrace

PEPA: Young people dont know how to fight for things.
You think life is all pleasure.
No, it isn’t.
You have to suffer a lot.
Kingsman: The Secret Service | Matthew Vaughn | 2014

Nothing very profound. This is one of those entertaining, mindless movies that are just fun to watch.
The Witcher | Series 1, 2, and 3 | 2019-

The one thing that they wanted you to take away from this series was not the contradictory deeds of the self-righteous Geralt of Rivia, or the heady and ambitious witch Yennefer or the powerful but lost girl, Ciri. It is the fact that Witchers smell a lot. I think they made sure to remind us of that fact in every single episode.

Or, the moment when Henry Cavill makes that Hmm face.

Witcher is essentially about a bunch of elves, mages, and humans fighting for that one thing which everyone lusts over - power. And that power is inside one little girl - Ciri - the so-called Child of Destiny. Btw, Ciri also happens to be half-elf or Elder blood, I think. At one point, it gets confusing.

An attempt at creating suspense and making the show mildly entertaining just like any generic high fantasy webseries on NF these days. Watched it for the swordfights and ahem, Yennefer of Vengerberg played by the beautiful Anya Chalotra, who happens to be half-Indian and loves watching Bollywood movies wink wink
Qarib Qarib Singlle | Tanuja Chandra | 2017

Watched this cherry-pie of a movie just 2 days before the start of my major exams. Man, what a brilliant actor is Irrfan Khan. Incredible performance.

I think the script is quite free-flowing, managing not to feel cringe and on average keeps the viewer’s attention intact (although, this was less so in the second half). It’s one of those cute movies you cuddle up to watch when you’re not feeling well (exactly what my state is right now). Nice film, glad I watched it.

PS: I think the girl is cute.
Silicon Valley | Series | 2014-2019
This show HAS to be made for me. I think there are two things that goes very well with this show. A) The amount of realism that they manage to squeeze into the narrative, specifically from the tech perspective - I mean it takes gut to show a terminal on screen and B) The subconscious education of the general masses and their introduction to the “culture of the Silicon Valley” as one could follow Richard from S01E01 and see him fight his way to turn his dream into a reality - I mean there is so much more than just being good at tech that goes into building a company and this show gives us a window into that alternate and extremely challenging reality. Incredibly well-done. I binged this right in the middle of my exams - I have one in less than 12 hours - so, you know how endearing this is to me.

I can relate to Richard as he is stuck in the cross road of his individual tech genius and the uphill climb of making other people realise that what he is doing is actually genius.

Not to mention that they ended on an incredibly realist note - it’s pretty hard to change the world.

Instances of realism that are just chef’s kiss:
1. The actual optimal tip-to-tip efficiency paper
2. The github page of the girl is real.
Life in a Metro | Anurag Basu | 2007

I liked the songs.
Trainspotting | Danny Boyle | 1996
Jerry Maguire | Cameron Crowe | 1996
All We Imagine as Light | Payal Kapadia | 2024
Once | John Carrey | 2007

Tear-jerker. Irish musical romance from a hand-held, fuck-all-gimbals era with patchy camcorder-ish grainy textured video with a manual linear zoom feature. Loved the aesthetics and the shaky shots. Incredible story and incredible chemistry between actors on the screen. The songs were super intense and I’m sure to listen to them often. There are movies that make you want to do things, this is clearly one of them for me.
Blue Jay | Alex Lehmann | 2016
Ran | Akira Kurosawa | 1985
A Summer’s Tale (Conte d’etat) | Eric Rohmer | 1996
Dog Day Afternoon | Sidney Lumet | 1975
The Lunchbox | Ritesh Batra | 2013
Glengarry Glen Ross | James Foley | 1992
Margin Call | J. C. Chandor | 2011

2023

The Lives of Others | Florian Henckel von Donnersmarck | 2006
Annie Hall | Woody Allen | 1977
Gangs of Wasseypur | Anurag Kashyap | 2012
Schindler’s List | Steven Spielberg | 1993
V for Vendetta |
Every Day | Micheal Suscy |
Dead Poets Society | Peter Wier |
The Ring | Alfred Hithcock | 1927
The Whale | Darren Aronofsky | 2022
Full Metal Jacket | Stanley Kubrick |
The Lodger | Alfred Hithcock |
On the Road | Walter Salles | 2012
Hopscotch | Ronald Neame | 1980
Rear Window | Alfred Hithcock |
The Story of a Crime | Fyodor Khitruk | 1962
The Snow Queen | | 1957
In the Realm of the Senses | Nagisa Oshima | 1976
A History of Violence | | 2005
The Royal Tenenbaums | Wes Anderson |
Buffalo ‘66 | Vincent Gallo |
Notting Hill | Roger Mitchell |
Masaan | Neeraj Ghaywan |
The Brown Bunny | Vincent Gallo |
Cold War | Pawei Pawlikowski | 2018
Sunrise: A Song of Two Humans | F. W. Munrau | 1922
Dr. Strangelove | Stanley Kubrick |
There will be blood | P. T. Anderson |
Batman Returns | Tim Burton | 1992
Edward Scissorhands | Tim Burton |
Taxi Driver | Martin Scorcese | 1976
Beetlejuice | Tim Burton |
Swordfish ||
Triangle of Sadness ||
Vanilla Sky ||
Grave of the Fireflies | Hayao Miyazaki ||
Boyhood | Richard Linklater ||
The Cabinet of Dr. Caligari | Robert Weine | 1920
Nosferatu | F. W. Munrau | 1922
Pierrot Le Fou | Jean-Luc Godard |
Tehran Taboo | Ali Soozandeh | 2017
Oldboy | Park Chan-Wook | 2003
Patch Adams | Tom Shadyac | 1998
Bonnie and Clyde | Arthur Penn | 1967
RoboCop | Paul Verhoeven | 1987
You Were Never Really Here | Lynne Ramsay | 2017
Gehraiyaan | Shakun Batra | 2022
It’s a Mad Mad Mad Mad World | Stanley Kramer | 1963
Chinatown | Roman Polanski | 1974
The Apartment | Billy Wilder | 1960
Leon: The Professional | Luc Besson | 1994
Irma La Douce | Billy Wilder | 1963
The Grand Beauty | Paolo Sorrentino | 2013
My Fair Lady | George Cukor | 1964
Moonlight | Barry Jenkins | 2016
The Queen’s Gambit | Series | 2020
Chainsaw man | Anime series | 2022
Easy A | Will Gluck | 2010
Glass Onion: A Knives Out Mystery | Rian Johnson | 2022
Monty Python and the Holy Grail | Terry Gilliam & Terry Jones | 1975
Jaws | Steven Spielberg | 1975
About Time | Richard Curtis | 2013
Persuasion | Carrie Cracknell | 2022
The Notebook | Nick Cassavetes | 2004
The Seven Year Itch | Billy Wilder | 1955
Contempt | Jean Luc-Godard | 1963
Prisoners | Denis Villenueve | 2013
Mission Impossible 1 | Brian de Palma | 1996
Mission Impossible 2 | John Woo | 2000
Love and Other Drugs | Edward Zwick | 2010
Love and Death | Woody Allen | 1975
Mission Impossible 3, 4, 5, 6 | Multiple directors | Multiple years
Band of Outsiders | Jean Luc-Godard | 1964
Battle Royale | Kinji Fukasaku | 2000
Witness for the Prosecution | Billy Wilder | 1957
Salo or the 120 Days of Sodom | Paolo Passolini | 1975
Jackie Brown | Quentin Tarantino | 1997
The Thirteenth Floor | Josef Rusnak | 1999
Midnight in Paris | Woody Allen | 2011
A Scanner Darkly | Richard Linklater | 2006
Birdman or the Unexpected Virtue of Ignorance | Alejandro Innaritu | 2014
Everybody Wants Some!! | Richard Linklater | 2016
As Good As It Gets | James L. Brooks | 1997
Ashes and Diamonds | Andrzej Wajda | 1958
The Hateful Eight | Quentin Tarantino | 2015
Super Deluxe | Thiagarajan Kumararaja | 2019
Death Proof | Quentin Tarantino | 2007
Drive | Nicolas Winding Refn | 2011
The Circle | Jafar Panahi | 2000

Jafar Panahi’s The Circle is a muffled Iranian feminist film

The Circle opens with blood curdling screams of a woman in labour. The sounds hit us before any visuals. And the first shot is a blurry evidently very 2000ish footage of a tense old woman being informed of the birth of her granddaughter. But the news had turned her gloomy and threw her off-guard. She shows denial of the information and asks te nurse to recheck in obvious disbelief. The scan showed that it was a boy.

The Circle is an evidently low-budget film, it almost feels amateur in its technique an choices and yet it derives it spoptency from the vision that it imbibes. It brings the plights of the Iranian women and the oppressive patriarchal system that has justified and sustainedthe oppression. The Circle is an incredibly nuance take on the Iranian treatment of women and a strong feminist film. But the peculiar part is that it doesn’t force itself to identify as one. The plot follows a number of Iranian women who seem to be casually going through their daily lives and that IS what constitutes the oppression. Even the daily lives of women are fraught with inequalities and obvious mistreatment and absurd laws.

The camera used in The Circle is reminiscient of an era gone by and stands as a testimony to the rapid development of technology. The camera is itself a pinhole into a time long gone. However, I’m afraid such liberation statements cannot be made by the strong and beautiful f Iran.
The Piano Teacher | Micheal Haneke | 2001
Inside Llweyn Davis | Coen Brothers | 2013

“Inside Llewyn Davis” is a realist melodramatic folk ride

When the last sequence of ILD unfolded, I realised something was off about it. The same sequence that started the film ended it but to complete the loop by retelling what led to the opening sequence (like most other films do) but by positioning the exact same sequence as stemming from the opening sequence thus completing the loop in a rather unique way where it seems like the protagonist, Llewyn Davis is stuck in a time loop. I had to rewind just to confirm this fact. As the end credits started rolling, I was gripped by an easy but satisfying feeling that the plot has reached a resolution but uneasy because perhaps, the reconciliation hasn’t been in a way I had expected. But then again, I am hardly surprised. The Coen brothers have a way of lending a peculiar touch to their characters and writing and an unabiding ending - take for example: No Country For Old Men when Anton Chirugh simply walks away into broad daylight without being captured or even Fargo with its dark and bloody ending in a movie with already considerable bloodshed.

ILD focuses on just one man - the titular Llewyn Davis, a bum unemployed, former sailor who puts together a living by singing folk songs at The Gaslight. The era is the 1960s so communism is still a hotbed of debate and discussion. Llewyn is what I would call a picture perfect example of a failed man - he has no job, might have gotten a married friend pregnant (and has to pay for her abortion), has a dysfunctional relation with his father, cannot keep hold of a cat, doesn’t know how to behave socially and is bad-tempered, and so on and on. The story is poignant in a way because it is deeply rooted in reality - it’s a realist story. And perhaps that is why it is so relatable. A modern man caught in the crossfire of his dreams and his livelihood, stuck up in metal cages to go for auditions that fail. A man with a strong opinion on how songs should be but not quite making it like one of the giants - a man with a vision but not the means to realise those visions. And at some point, I think we all have been there and watched as things go by and forced to stay quiet.

Obvious comparison can be made with Whiplash and The Black Swan and the trope of the obssesive artist with Llewyn embodying the unwavering belief in his art. And yet, it differs. As Llewyn comes full circle and takes up the sailor job that he hates with such enmity and when he confides in Jean - “I’m tired”. A comparison may also be drawn with Ryan Gosling starrer “Drive” with a major difference - ILD is an anti-sigma male story.

With commendable performance from Oscar Isaac (seen this man from Star Wars to Drive) and that cheeky Adam Driver thingie with Al Cody (man from Marriage Story to Paterson), I think, if for nothing, I can come back for the folk songs :)
Atonement | Joe Wright | 2007
The Fellowship of the Ring (LOTR #1) | Peter Jackson | 2001
How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days | Donald Petrie | 2003
12 Angry Men | Sidney Lumet | 1957
The Two Towers (LOTR #2) | Peter Jackson | 2002
Return of the King (LOTR #3) | Peter Jackson | 2003
Andhadhun | Sriram Raghavan | 2018
Shaun of the dead | Edgar Wright | 2004
The Departed | Martin Scorcese | 2006
1917 | Sam Mendes | 2019

Critics are divided on what 1917 wanted to achieve and what it has achieved. A cinematographical marvel executed with skilful technical prowess, 1917 is set during WW1 and tells the fictional story of two Allies corporals who have to relay command to halt attack at the frontline as the British suspect that the attack is preplanned and the Germans are prepared to execute a massacre.

The entire movie seems like an extended single shot enabled by immaculate camerawork which floats in the most unlikeliest of manners (over lakes and through barbed wires). Although, there have been hidden cuts such as when the main character Schofield is knocked out or when he’s going through tunnels (just like Innaritu’s Birdman, another amazing movie). Mendes took the show-don’t-tell philosophy to its extreme and executed a grand vision with extensive props and mise-en-scene which required devilish amount of work and attention to details. As we track the characters through changing landscapes, one’s eyes cannot help but look around the scene and explore other elements - a torn doll, pictures of loved ones, a dead corpse’s head staring - it’s a gruesome war film after all.

Single shot films are amazing ~~because the editor has less work~~ because I personally like the flowing uninterrupted video and levitating perspective. In that sense, 1917 is a marvel.
Paddington | Paul King | 2014
Paddington 2 | Paul King | 2017
Apocalypse Now | Francis Ford Coppola | 1979

Apocalypse Now Redux is an extended version of the 1979 movie that was released in 2001. The new movie has 49 minutes of extra footage and amounts to 3 hr 22 min in totality.

AN is a political movie disguised as a war film. Note that I don’t use the term “anti-war” because I’m not sure. And that is so because just like in all human conflicts, it is devilishly difficult to ascertain the facts and to assign the roles of “oppressor” and “oppressed”. The situation is more aggravated in wars - a more murderous variant of the same conflict. And so when at last, Col. Kurtz (Marlon Brando) asked Capt. Willard (Martin Sheen) to tell his son about what he stood for, I could no longer convinced myself if his methods or lack thereof, were really “unsound”.

AN is an emotional and visual ride through the horrors of Vietnam and an inquiry into the primal human emotions of lust, blood, and power. Told in an epistolary format with the comforting voice of Martin Sheen booming through the speakers, we are told of the war from his perspective; his escape from the maddening hotel room to the centre of mud and napalm in a man hunt for a celebrated officer gone rogue and given orders to “terminate him with extreme prejudice”. But as Willard gets to know the man more prying through his records and staring at his pictures, he is starstruck. Even in the end, as he rises from the water with the machete in hand and the determination in his heart, I could see the doubt in his eyes. Even in the end, it was not Willard who murdered Kurtz but Kurtz who decided to be murdered by Willard.

Coppola’s fine craftsmanship shines through with every shot and composition (not to mention the generous usage of fadeouts :P), he keeps his storytelling terse and precise. I loved his portrayal of sensuality and romantic tension amidst war. I loved his interweaving of politics into such a visually ambitious war film. I loved his choice of music and of course, I loved Wagner’s Ride of the Valkyries.
Pi | Darren Aronofsky | 1998

Pi is Aronofsky’s feature directorial debut. It is also a foreshadowing film of what was to come out of Aronofsky’s mind. Concussional, trippy, and serrated. We follow a mathematical genius who works as a quant in his own time. A pathological loner who also suffered from a periodic brain condition that gives him splitting headaches (oh, what a stereotype). He stumbles on a 216 digit number which is supposedly embodies a pattern of the universe. Consequently, he gets himself in trouble with groups who are in pursuit of that number - quant firms and Jewish Rabbis. I loved the initial premise and felt that finally we have a film that is made for “actual” math peeps only to roll my eyes and start gawking as all that hullabaloo about Moses and High Priest starts quacking through the headphones. As I said, serrated. Just like all Aronofsky works (except [[Requiem for a Dream]] and [[Black Swan]] which only leaves [[The Fountain]]) that I have seen.

Now, let’s talk about the cinematography. From the get go, it is evident that we are witnessing the work of a man who wants to break the loop. He attempts daring feats and experiments copiously. Pi seems to me like an amalgamation of a man in search of his voice. There are signature snorricam shots (just like in [[Requiem for a Dream|Requiem]] where he perfected them) and shots of pursuit. There’s the delicious open-spill-pop-close montage shot of taking a pill. Substance consumption/abuse seems to be a motif that appears again and again in Aronofsky’s works. There are paranormal things going on or atleast the perception of it created by disturbing shots of seemingly disparaged objects. A brain in a basin being eaten by ants? Such daring attempts are made to visually express the plight of the psychological. Just like all others. The production itself is very modest and quiet. Few characters, few prompts. It looks like a budget film. Or atleast someone’s debut. Someone significant that is.

It is interesting to note how far he has come from Pi to [[The Whale]].
Apocalypse Now Redux | Francis Ford Coppola | 1979

Apocalypse Now Redux is an extended version of the 1979 movie that was released in 2001. The new movie has 49 minutes of extra footage and amounts to 3 hr 22 min in totality.

AN is a political movie disguised as a war film. Note that I don’t use the term “anti-war” because I’m not sure. And that is so because just like in all human conflicts, it is devilishly difficult to ascertain the facts and to assign the roles of “oppressor” and “oppressed”. The situation is more aggravated in wars - a more murderous variant of the same conflict. And so when at last, Col. Kurtz (Marlon Brando) asked Capt. Willard (Martin Sheen) to tell his son about what he stood for, I could no longer convinced myself if his methods or lack thereof, were really “unsound”.

AN is an emotional and visual ride through the horrors of Vietnam and an inquiry into the primal human emotions of lust, blood, and power. Told in an epistolary format with the comforting voice of Martin Sheen booming through the speakers, we are told of the war from his perspective; his escape from the maddening hotel room to the centre of mud and napalm in a man hunt for a celebrated officer gone rogue and given orders to “terminate him with extreme prejudice”. But as Willard gets to know the man more prying through his records and staring at his pictures, he is starstruck. Even in the end, as he rises from the water with the machete in hand and the determination in his heart, I could see the doubt in his eyes. Even in the end, it was not Willard who murdered Kurtz but Kurtz who decided to be murdered by Willard.

Coppola’s fine craftsmanship shines through with every shot and composition (not to mention the generous usage of fadeouts :P), he keeps his storytelling terse and precise. I loved his portrayal of sensuality and romantic tension amidst war. I loved his interweaving of politics into such a visually ambitious war film. I loved his choice of music and of course, I loved Wagner’s Ride of the Valkyries.
The Princess Bride | Rob Reiner | 1987

Lol so nocie and low-budget but very cute.
Roman Holiday | William Wyler | 1953
I just wanna say two things:
1. Audrey Hepburn.
2. That last tracking shot.
21 Grams | Alejandro Gonzales Innaritu | 2003

21 Grams is a masterclass in non-linear storytelling.

A dark and horrifying story that leaves very little to judge between right and wrong, between good and evil and leaves us with a very distinctive and bittersweet taste of life - a cacophony of contradictions unwinding around us, irrespective of our presence or awareness.
Me And Earl And The Dying Girl | Alfonso Gomez-Rejon | 2015

Let’s just say that I absolutely loved the movie references. The maker is a true lover of classic films and I really appreciate that.
Qala | Anvita Dutt Guptan | 2022

Qala turned out to be very different from what I expect it to be. Unlike the lyrical and brilliant assortment of acoustic delight that is the movie’s soundtrack, Qala is a dark and celebral story about an ill-fated girl in search of acceptance. My first introduction to [[Swastika Mukherjee]] as [[Urmila Manjushree]], a descendant from a line of musical maestros. The shot of Urmila standing in front of her infant daughter [[Qala - Character | Qala]] with a pillow intended for her twin brother sets a grim exposition. Her twin brother died at childbirth. A childhood fraught with continuous invalidation and discouragement from her mother forces Qala to seek ways to please her mother notwithstanding the consequences. As the movie progresses, this desire only aggravates and turns pretty ugly. I’ll just put it there and not spoil any further.

But honestly, I didn’t like the movie apart from the exquisite scene design set in 1940s Calcutta (that shot of the Howrah Bridge tho). Perhaps, what I mean to say is this: the plot seems too one dimensional to me with barely any active “inputs” from the characters. It seems like the characters in the script are too constrained to have a voice of their own. There’s lots of superfluous dramatisation which might make for what Indians look out for but doesn’t compete with anything that I have seen in the works of greats like [[Francis Ford Coppola]], [[Quentin Tarantino]], and so on.

Bollywood is still leagues behind what the world is up to.
Scenes From A Marriage | Ingmar Bergman | 1974

Most exquisite piece of cinema seen in a long long time. If [[Richard Linklater]] met [[Ingmar Bergman]], they would surely hit it off. Both of them are masters of dialogue and human emotions and bringing out the deepest prejudices and preoccupations of the human mind in a lyrically cinematic fashion. Incredible performances by both the leads and the cinematic choice to just include 2 people conversing, loving, fighting, tearing each other apart, and yet who cannot live without each other is a near-perfect depiction of what a marriage is all about.
Soylent Green | Richard Fleischer | 1973
Blue Jay | Alexandre Lehmann | 2016
Aftersun | Charlotte Wells | 2022
Lawrence of Arabia | David Lean | 1962
Mobile Suit Gundam 1 | Yoshiyuki Tomino, Ryoji Fujiwara | 1981
Persepolis | Marjane Satrapi | 2007
Hiroshima Mon Amour | Alain Resnais | 1959
Spider Man: Across the Spiderverse | Joaquim Dos Santos et. al. | 2023

The visuals oof

Incredible artwork and colors. But the story is very marvel-esque, predictable and kinda boring. It seems like they are just recycling tropes at this point which is funny because there’s no dearth of tropes right?
Brief Encounter | David Lean | 1945

Brief Encounter is a heart-wrenching romance between two souls who find each other’s companionship by serendipity and yet are forced to part ways due to societal constructs and circumstances.

The story is told from the perspective of the married lady and mother of two (literally). Her voice over is all over the film giving an antique aura to the film. And we can relate to the sheer terror and excitement and doubt and anxiety that the entry of the man (married and father) has had on her life. We can feel her heart breaking. The last scene is not an easy scene to watch.
Asteroid City | Wes Anderson | 2023
It Happened One Night | Frank Capra | 1934
A Separation | Asghar Farhadi | 2011

Damn wow.

Loved how it leaves us at an inconclusive resolution and yet shows how one particular lie can destroy a family.
Casablanca | Micheal Curtz | 1943
Cha Cha Real Smooth | Cooper Raiff | 2022
Requiem for the American Dream | Kelly Nyks, Jared P. Scott, Peter D. Hutchson |2015
Gone With The Wind | Victor Fleming | 1939
The Florida Project | Sean Baker | 2011

TFP is a beautiful coming-of-age story that follows Moonee, a eight? year old kid growing up in the suburbs in Florida in a pay-in motel under the custody of a teenage girl (her “mom”) who is trying to make ends meet somehow.

TFP is remarkable in its portrayal of the stark contrast between the life that the adults are trying to sustain and the unaware, innocent kids who want to live life. The movie captures both. There’s fun and careless stuff going on when you just want to live inside the movie - couple that with beautiful shots of scenic Florida that almost feels like visual poetry and then all of a sudden we have serious stuff going on screen. TFP touches up on poverty and the bad living conditions of these motels and the personal choices of the individual. TFP is pretty serious stuff as Hally (the “mom”) starts prostituting herself to make money, eventually getting arrested and having Moonee taken away. Yet, there’s that rain-drenching screen where both have the most endearing play. TFP has that multitude of emotion that it portrays and makes you feel.

Cinematography is just soo good. It’s obviously made to make you fall in love with Florida as it effortlessly finds beauty in the most benign and repulsive of places. Static wide shots, tracking shots of kids running through corridors, that shot of Moonee remarking on eating food at the hotel is so endearing. Ah, good stuff.
A Brighter Summer Day | Edward Yang | 1991
Boogie Nights | Paul Thomas Anderson | 1997
All That Heaven Allows | Douglas Sirk | 1955

Cheesy and very outdated. Not sure if anyone would appreciate the sensibilities portrayed in the movie especially commentary and outlook towards marriage, woman, and class division - the three primary subjects of this movie. But a decisive and sharp take on the problems of society. Sadly, not much has changed in a sense :/
Into the Wild | Sean Penn | 2007

“Happiness only real when shared”.

I didn’t realise this was based on real life. And very different from what I expected it to be. Good watch.

Also, loved the literature references to Thoreau (It seems like that generation of explorers and adventurers were raised on this text), Jack London, Tolstoy, etc.
Incendies | Denis Villeneuve | 2010

Incendies opens with a harrowing slow paced montage of young boys being shaved with a trimmer in what looks like a remote Central Asian country - probably some terrorist group. All to the magical, melancholic tune of Radiohead’s You And Whose Army? (wow)

It then proceeds to tell the story of a family caught up in the crossfire of extremist and nationalist groups in a civil war shuttling between present day and flashbacks. Told in chapters, each chapter unveils a new, more gruesome detail about the story and uncovers some mystery until we are left with an exceptionally strong resolution.

In this film, Villeneuve latches onto the idea of an anti-war films and exploits it to orchestrate a gruesome picture of a filial history affected by the war unfolding through generations. At one point, I felt this was a feminist film (which it is at some level) but oh boy, was I wrong.
City of God | Fernando Meirelles, Katia Lund | 2002

Wow. Amazing story. Amazing editing. Amazing context. Just so good.
Il Sorpasso | Dino Risi | 1962

Il Sorpasso or the Overtaking is a feel-good Italian drama-comedy that capitalises on the innate human tendency to be free. It tells the story of a wanderer and adventurous man, Bruno, who incidentally finds a travel companion in Roberto, a meek and shy young lawyer in the making and they both take off to have a gala time through the Italian landscape. They stop at hotels, and meet friends, and spend time dancing or swimming at the beach. It’s a fun little story that doesn’t go anyway until you watch the last scene which is very shocking and grim. Personally never expected this to end on such a sad and serious note.
Sex Education Season 4 | Series | 2023

In its attempt to impress everyone, the latest season of Sex Education falls straight on its face. Let me tell you why I feel so strongly for the series’s last (thankfully) instalment.

Incorrect perception

SexEd started out as a unique and quirky series exploring teenagers of a fictitious town called Moordale and their sexual and personal lives. The plot was considerably involved with many moving pieces and yet secretly incorporated sex education and brought out some relevant taboos and problems surrounding sex. That was nice and welcomed by everyone.

And then it just got worse. I’m not even going to touch the storyline and the multiple plots but by an extremely unsatisfactory season 3 climax, it was clear that the story had touched a ceiling and the only place for it to go was downward.

And that is what season 4 is. It’s the jumbled and confusing mess that has flown from the ignorant (or arrogant?) pens of writers who refuse to accept that the wide spectrum of human sexuality is impossible to capture in a web series. In its attempt to appear accommodating and welcoming, SE goes on blabbering.

Incorrect social portrayal

SE opens with the OG group of problematic teenagers now shifted to Cavendish college - an ultra-left progressive school where one can find the most diverse identities on earth. This is the first instance when SE distances itself from reality. No such place exists on Earth. Moreover, these people somehow manage to live in a cooperative and harmonious environment. And that is…disturbing. That’s not a correct representation of how human groups exist. Violence and conflict can break out even in groups of the same kind (to ghettoise horribly). You might say that these conflicts were shown later in the series but my point is that such huge differences, especially based on a sensitive metric like sexual identity, will never allow such communities to exist in the first place.

Repetitive patterns

SE takes up its title too literally this season. You liked Otis as a sex therapist through S1, S2, S3? Guess what you’ll get this season? Two sex therapists! The entire season devolves into this overtly conspicuous pattern of addressing people’s sexual and social problems. As a bonus, you have to keep track of 5 such storylines in parallel. Notice how students just magically confide in their friends who they have literally just met. Otis and Eric were childhood friends and yet Eric somehow confided in Abbi. WTF? Why is this series so deliberately trying to be unrealistic (or is it trying to be funny?)

And then there’s some life-transforming event that happens - perhaps a conversation or someone’s death, and people again just magically understand and everything’s all fine and flowery again. Yay!

Wasteful and consumerist

Forget about sexual identities, let’s just talk about the portrayal of American teenagers in the series. That is clearly not how an average teenager lives (or wastes). There’s a very strong consumerist sentiment underlying the series portraying rich, wasteful teenagers in an environment clearly not the majority of us finds ourselves in. Was it trying to be deliberately insensitive? This is just very problematic.

Oh also, what’s up with Dolly and the tabs? Like you have a personalised social media hanging from your neck at all times in school? Seriously? I think they overdid the progressive college and ventured into outright nonsense for this one.

Thank god, it’s over

I get that Sex Education is literally sex education but it all just seems too on the face. There’s no subtlety. At best, it’s pretentious, at worst, it’s irresponsible. I can’t make up my mind which is the worst.
L.A. Confidential | Curtis Hanson | 1997
Ordet | Carl T. Dreyer | 1934
Bangalore Days | Anjali Menon | 2014
The Wonderful Story of Henry Sugar | Wes Anderson | 2023
Stardust | Matthew Vaughn | 2007
Fair Play | Chlor Domont | 2023
White House Down | Roland Emmerich | 2013
Yeh Jawaani Hai Deewani | Ayan Mukherji | 2013

YJHD is probably my generation’s DDLJ. It has everything that would make a swoon-worthy dramatic Bollywood film to watch at the weekend with the family which is to say oodles of drama and romance. And yet YJHD doesn’t touch the central crisis of the story with a ten-foot pole but simply chooses to steer clear of it, only to resolve it in a way most of the latest generation would disapprove of.

At the core, YJHD is the story of finding love at the wrong place and time and trying to cope with it - a theme that has been exhaustively explored on screen both globally and nationally. But in YJHD, the resolution is reached by the boy sacrificing his dream which is an understatement, more like his life’s singular objective only to stay home with the girl. Problem solved, right? No!

Why did the boy have to sacrifice his dreams? Bunny’s choice to let go of his future, a future he had spent every waking second of his life making and every sleeping second dreaming of, is simply absurd and unexplained. In fact, underlining his unjustified choice is the promulgation of an unpopular idea with the modern teenager - the idea of a “soul mate” - the one “true love”. Going to Paris would have availed Bunny of more experiences and surely he would never be lonely. Thus, a practical Bunny, no, a rational Bunny would view companionship and intimacy as a purely transactional affair, something not to be muddled with life’s dream. Yet, we meet a new Bunny at the end, a reborn Bunny.

Which brings me to character arc development and its utter detachment from reality. YJHD is obviously a story that tracks the transformation of its ensemble cast especially the central two characters - Bunny and Naina. What is really interesting is the swift transition of Naina from an introvert to opening up to a complete stranger in the course of a vacation. As any introvert would tell you, this is an extremely romanticised form of writing that has no resemblance to the cruelty of reality. I mean how so nice to know that Naina ends up beating a bunch of goons in Manali after spending a day with Bunny and Co. Nonsense! In reality, these transformations are extremely rare, if at all, and introverts face a very different lifestyle, one that most have to simply cope with.

Continuing on the theme of impossible things, the movie shows an excess of abundance and wealth - somehow Bunny is able to finance Manali trek trip for his friend, Bunny is able to have his adventures in only eight years and Aditi manages to pull off a big fat Indian wedding at Udaipur. Money is a strong deterrant for all of these activities unfortunately! Which means that these activities are not as spaced out in time as they should be in reality which projects a completely false image of how people live and behave. This implicitly puts psychological pressure on the viewer who try to identify with the characters onscreen on certain metrics such as ethnicity, nationality, being able to feel the emotion of love etc. but fail in the prosperity department. This triggers an implicit guilt mechanism which reasons that not being prosper is a personal deficiency since they are similar in other aspects. This leads to stress and anxiety and the horrible feeling of lowness. This, as spelled out here, is of course, absurd but wouldn’t appear so to someone “just watching” the film. Something I called incomplete fulfilment of expectations on the basis of commonality.

Coming down to few Bollywood things that I didn’t like - too many songs! Although, some of the songs are classic, yet it’s just ugh. The dialogues get pretty pretentious at points. That Bunny dialogue “I want to run, fly, and fall but not stop” is another big cringe. Wake up to reality please!

I often allude to things like the “Indian style” and the “Non-Indian style” when it comes to filmmaking. I have always found it difficult to show what I really mean. But in YJHD I found a clear example. It’s Aditi’s wedding and she is doing her pheras. A love-struck Bunny is gawking at the two people near the wedding hearse and there’s a sparkle in his eyes. Clearly, he’s thinking about his wedding with Naina. Right? Right??? Traditional Bollywood would introduce an imaginary shot of Bunny and Naina actually doing the pheras thus, utterly destroying the opportunity to express something without showing - mark of clever filmmaking. Thankfully, that didn’t happen in YJHD.
Passengers | Morten Tyldum | 2016
No Hard Feelings | Gene Stupnitsky | 2023
Indecent Proposal | Adrian Lyne | 1993
Mission Impossible Dead Reckoning Part 1 | Christopher McQuarrie | 2023
His Girl Friday | Howard Hawks | 1940

Based on the play “The Front Page” by Ben Hecht et. al., His Girl Friday is a look into the corrupted and blemished world of press and media. Moreover, it is also a love story. And I especially like how it manages to bring both these plots together without appearing pretentious. It’s just right.

The characters are well-written, right from Walter Burns right down to Joe Pettibone, each character manages to lend a taste to the movie that sits pretty agreeably everything considered.

The play is actually a comedy but starts off at a grim junction namely the hanging of a convicted murderer. And yet something seems fishy. Upon investigation, Hildy Johnson, the female lead, finds out that the accused is actually innocent and framed for hanging just to serve the Mayor who wants to be elected as Governor. The film then follows the chain of events that culminates in the convict, Earl Williams, as being freed. There are many characters that come and go and their individual self-motivated action give rise to many comedic and layered dynamics - something reminisce of theatre (which shouldn’t come as a shock since it’s adapted from one). One more thing, the limited number of location - the major part of the movie is shot inside the criminals court room at the prison - is again in agreement with the fact that it is an adaptation.

Great movie. Definitely revisitable.
Die Hard | John McTiernan | 1988
La Haine | Matthieu Kassovitz | 1995
Love Actually | Richard Curtis | 2003
Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid | George Roy Hill | 1969
Queen | Vikas Bahl | 2013
Pacific Rim: Uprising | Steven S. DeKnight | 2018
Kabir Singh | Sandeep Reddy Vanga | 2019
The Girl Next Door | Luke Greenfield | 2004
Oppenheimer | Christopher Nolan | 2023
Hacksaw Ridge | Mel Gibson | 2016
Broklynn 99 | TV Series | 2013-2021
Madan Senki Ryukendo | TV Series | 2006
Scarface | Brian De Palma | 1983
Salaam Bombay | Mira Nair | 1988
Luck By Chance | Zoya Akhtar | 2009

Zoya Akhtar’s directorial debut is a light-hearted but potent sneak peek into the nitty-gritties of the Bollywood film landscape itself - right from the indifference of the ultra-rich superstar to the thousands of dreams who just want to get that “one chance”. It isn’t as nuanced as Truffaut’s Day for Night but it captures the duality and constant struggle that every actor (or wannabe actor) has to live through in the city of dreams.

One thing that you would definitely notice is the cheeky cameos of almost everyone we see or love to see on screen and otherwise, people who make films an incredible experience.

LBC takes a dramatic turn after intermission doing a full 180 from a breezy comedy to a solid life lessons preacher.

All things considered, this is one top-tier debut exploring intimates themes of struggle, dreams, love, and interpersonal relationships. Very Zoya Akhtar in spirit especially in what what to come.
The Last of Us | TV Series | 2023
Sairat | Nagraj Manjule | 2016

Sairat paints a brutal picture of the Indian casteist society

Nagraj’s Sairat is a visually stunning 3 hour long ride holding a mirror at the malice of casteism in the modern Indian society. It follows an upper caste girl who falls in love with a lower caste boy and ends up having to face the disapproval of her family to the burden of believing in that love to the wrath of society itself.

From the first exposition, it becomes clear that Nagraj won’t settle for the conventional and wrote the girl with a confident and high-handed character. The boy, on the other hand, is a simple fellow. It appears as cursory for us to read these words and get the “gist” of what happens in the story but the movie beautifully captures the challenges and tears and the burden of loving someone. Especially if that someone happens to be from a “lower caste”.

Why the hell did you mess with the upper caste folks? What’s the use of education?

One’s convictions not at times when the conviction seems true but when it begins to seem false. Just like when the girl had to believe in her decision and accept the life of poverty and living in the slums. She is truly a Sairat or as the movie title translates to in English, fearless, a non-conformist, wild.

The movie is ambitious in that it takes two sensitive topics and mushes them together - teenage love and casteism in India. It chooses to talk about one thing and talks about it well. Although, I felt that few characters were underdeveloped just as there was more time given to the protagonist and his girl - an unnecessary evil of Indian cinema and the Indian craving for drama. Oh, and there were also a few songs thrown in to make the movie palpable to the Indian audience.

That last shot of the orphan kid walking away from the lifeless bodies of his parents leaving crimson imprints on the floor is a harrowing image that is sure to stay with me for a long , long time. In that one shot, Sairat decided to stop talking and let the images do the speaking. And that is fantastic.

PS: I personally cannot imagine the kind of discrimination and psychological thought-processes for someone who is brought up in such a fragmented society. I was fortunate enough to be shielded from such sentiments.

PPS: I want to scream and howl for I cannot create art like this.
Machines | Rahul Jain | 2016

It’s easy to mistake Machines as a black and white documentary for the dirt and blackness of the miserable working conditions of the factory makes it hard to make out any vibrancy as such.

What do you expect from a documentary about a textile dyeing factory situated in Gujarat? That’s right. Miserable working conditions, poor and emancipated workers working in outrageously dangerous conditions and silently enduring the exploitation, fat business owners sitting in air-conditioned offices far away from the toxic factory floors and so on and on. This was my mental preconditioning before I hit the play button on Rahul Jain’s piognant documentary Machines.

But Machines turns out to be much more than a plight of the poor and a very grim reminder of the stark inequalities that we live in and choose to ignore. What stood out for me is the masterful composition of each shot coupled by poetic sequences that weave a story without the utterance of a single word. Rahul takes the creative decision to keep himself out of the frame at all times, visually as well as vocally. There is minimal voiceovers and testimonials, a general feature of such documentaries. All replaced by the raw noises and gentle humming of the Machines.

Even then I noticed two things: first is the sheer synergy that exists between man and machine at this factory. It seems like both of them are best friends supporting each other without any qualms. And secondly, the contrast between the audience with their gawking eyes and gaping mouths looking at every movement, every machine with surprise and curiosity where the workers are indifferent to their environment. Rich white fibre being produced but no one to ask about the labour conditions or the story behind the hands that made them. And of course, faces! So many of them! Starkly staring at the camera with innocence and helplessness, almost as if Jain wanted us to lament the despondent future of these poor souls. In fact, this has been Jain’s philosophy: to show and not to tell.

PS: Studying textile engineering and watching the “theory” applied in real-life was such a moving experience for me personally.
The Mask of Zorro | Martin Campbell | 1998
Men in Black | Barry Sonnenfield | 1997
Thor: Love and Thunder | Taika Waititi | 2022
Squaring the Circle - The Story of Hipgnosis | Anton Corbijn | 2022
The Birds | Alfred Hitchcock | 1963
Past Lives | Celine Song | 2023

2022

Fallen Angels | Wong Kar-Wai | 1995

In Fallen Angels, Wong Kar-Wai perfects and consolidates his unique style that he introduced in Chungking Express. Every shot is so dreamy and trippy from the steadicam camerawork (something taken by Gaspar Noe to the extreme) to jittery, grainy compositions with colors split midway. Fallen Angels is among one of the most stylized films I have watched till date. A movie with a distinct taste and sophistication.

Fallen Angels follows different individuals from different walks of lifes in Hong Kong and how their paths cross in serendipitous ways. It’s a dreamy film and takes that premise forward. I loved the stop-motion bounty murder sequences (an exceptional such sequence is the Plutonium theft sequence in The Man Who Stole the Sun), the camera movements are humorous, perky, and….comical. It’s delightful to hit play on any Wong Kar-Wai and let our minds drift into his world. Revisitable.

(first watch: 14 December, 2022)
Once Upon A Time…In Hollywood | Quentin Tarantino | 2019

Once Upon A Time In Hollywood takes place in Hollywood in the 60s and tells the story of a fictional actor named Rick Dalton and his stuntman double, Cliff Booth. They happen to be neighbors to Roman Polanski and Shannon Tate (played by Margot Robbie) and end up getting engaged in a number of internal and external conflicts such as career issues, fight with the hippies, and so on.

The movie is a portrayal of the bourgeois Hollywood circles and a social commentary on the good ol’ have and have-nots. All filmed in classic Tarantino style. We have everything from feet to food to fight scenes with “Bruce Lee”. Car drives form a large portion in the first half and peculiar hovering bird-eye view shots too. And then, of course, the finale and confrontation at Rick’s house. And a special mention for Margot Robbie, oof :P!

I like how the film mingles the real life and the film life. Gave me a lot of Truffaut’s Day For Night vibes. All in all, a good watch for a lazy Saturday evening.

(first watch: 10 December, 2022)
Investigation of a Citizen Above Suspicion | Elio Petri | 1970

Investigation of a Citizen Above Suspicion begins with the murder of a beautiful woman, Augusta Terzi (Florinda Bolkan), with a severe rape-and-murder fetish by her police chief lover. Interestingly, the chief doesn’t try to cover his tracks but instead place evidences so that the police can trace the murder to him. And yet, even more intriguingly, the police chooses to unsee the evidence and defer the investigation simply because the culprit is a man of power. Indeed, the chief exclaims (multiple times) – “I represent power, Augusta!” The film questions state authority and machismo as the investigation unfolds against a youth-led communist uprising challenging the state dominance, which is most brilliantly represented by one of the most potent scenes – the interrogation of the plumber. One must notice the dialogues very carefully as they drip with irony and fear. It’s one of the most riveting demonstrations of the power of state authority and a starking representation of the theme of the movie. Shot in intimate full face shots, it’s upclose and personal. We can study each muscle twitch of the face. Fantastically executed. Perhaps, the single dialogue that summarizes the state’s attitude is this: “We must know everything. We must control everything.” The movie is also the commentary on the psychological transition of a man who is given incredible power to exercise. He breaks the traffic light and gets away with it. Terzi exclaims, “You can commit any crime you want” and we are left to ponder: Who will watch the watchmen?

Coming to execution, Investigation has some of the finest camerawork I have seen. Scene compositions are great, the camera movement graceful as they sway around a scene intriguing and creating suspense. I don’t know much about Italian cinema (I’m reminded of Life is Beautiful) but I suppose this will be up there. Complementary and “humorous” sound track. Love the flashback sequences.

(first watch: 28 November, 2022)
Pan’s Labyrinth | Guillermo del Toro | 2006

Oh. My. God. Pan’s Labyrinth is a beautiful, chilling modern fairy tale story. But don’t believe “fairy tale” means all unicorns and magic spells - although, Pan’s Labyrinth doesn’t lack in imagination - there are more twists and moments of heightened suspense than in any conventional flick. Beautifully shot, the lighting are amazing, the color palettes, and the cinematography. And of course, the CGI. A very Alice in Wonderful-like plot but nothing like it. It has ample gore and bloodshed and death and magic creatures and fairies and fauns. Incredible experience.

Set in the Spanish civil war, it follows a little girl who discovers she is a magical princess but must perform three tasks to prove her fairyhood. Instead of spoiling the plot for you, I’ll just leave it for you to explore :)

(first watch: 27 November, 2022)
Dogtooth | Yorgos Lanthimos | 2009

What is Dogtooth? To be honest, I don’t know. Is it a work of genius or just another director’s brain fart? Is there a deeply embedded and profound message in the film or are we just left to our devices to find one where none exists? It is hard to say. It is set in a Parasite-esque sprawling residence complete with all amentities where the parents have brainwashed their three children into confining them to the house. They go to great lengths to do the same, reinventing words and changing their meanings (“Zombie” is a small yellow flower, for example), faking the death of their imaginary brother by a evil creature called the “cat”. It’s a film that contains many explicit scenes of violence, gore, and blood - Martin, the boy gorging out the guts of a cat with gardener’s scissors or the eldest smashing her mouth with a dumbell to get her dogtooth out - afterwards which she’s told she would be able to venture out and face the challenges of the world outside. Not a lot seems to be happening in the film - these characters moving around in slow and calculated steps, the cameras held in static shots as if everybody is holding their breaths and its kind of ironic given the pristine environment they live in. But once we look deeper, we find darker things going on in the house. Themes of submission are generously explores throughout the film along with incest and homosexuality. The climax is open-ended as we find the eldest girl being able to identify the shroud of lies her parents have put up and escaping out in her father’s car but we don’t really find out what happens to her afterwards. The last shot is a long take of her father’s backcabin. And that’s pretty much all I wanna say about Dogtooth. Weird-ass Greek movie.

(first watch: 26 November, 2022)
Stuck in Love | Josh Boone | 2012

Stuck in Love combines literature and romance into a feel-good flick where defective characters eventually “find themselves” via experiences of love and beyond. It follows a family of a successful writer father who has been divorced for three years but finds it hard to move on. His two kids, a shy teenager boy who loves Stephen King and is socially awkward and his promiscous daughter who simply refuses to believe in love and dating because of the scars her parent’s separation left on her. It’s a story where characters eventually gain understanding, perspective, and clarity that the meaning of love is different for everyone. It ends on a happy note so there’s that. Loved the literature references such as ref to “What We Talk About When We Talk About Love” by Raymond Craver where he ends,

I could hear my heart beating. I could hear everyone’s heart. I could hear the human noise we sat there making, not one of us moving, not even when the room went dark. ~What We talk About When We Talk About Love, Raymond Craver

Wow.

And how Flannery O’ Connor, an American novelist and essayist said that the first 20 years of experiences is enough to inspire a writer for the rest of their creative output. I sooo love this.

PS: It had Jennifer Connelly in it. gasp

(first watch: 25 November, 2022)
Napoleon Dynamite | Jared Hess | 2004

Hmm, how do I describe Napoleon Dynamite? It’s a funky movie set in the middle of nowhere of Idaho and follows the titular character of Napoleon Dynamite who is far, far away from being anything close to a dynamite. Infact, characters seem to be in semi-sleep deprived state ironic given the title of the film. With very minimal and almost no action, NB manages to irk out some laughs and certainly some chuckles with clever writing and a slapstick-esque comedy style. It’s stupid and wacky and feels senseless but once you see it, you realise that is the beauty of it.

It’s a story with profound plotlines and memorable characters. It’s about finding love beyond barriers (The hilarious Lawfunduh and Kip tale), and priding in being the underestimated, neglected underdog who rises when the time is ripe. It’s a hilarious movie and worth watching just for the sake of Napoleon and the kind of (mis)adventures he is a part of.

PS: They also made an animated 6 episode series out of this.

(first watch: 24 November, 2022)
The Man Who Stole The Sun | Kazuhiko Hasegawa | 1979

The Man Who Stole The Sun is a Japanese dark humour comedy which follows a meek school science teacher who ends up making an atomic bomb in his apartment and quite literally brings the whole Tokyo state police to its knees. It is a deeply engaging movie with a lot of plot twists and thought-provoking events. With some wacky and interesting editing, the stop-motion theft of plutonium from the reactor sequence comes to mind, the shot composition, and the overall cinematography in this film is top-notch.

There is a bit of everything in this ~150 minutes long film – action squences, car chases, murder, gore, romance, comedy, music. TMWSTS explores two very different themes – the anguish and determination in the life of a lonely young man. Who wouldn’t sympathise with Mr. Kido AKA the A-bomb man, #9, and Bubblegum when Inspector Yamashita yells in the end scene, “That’s who you really want to kill-it’s you!”? At the same time, we get a glimpse into the destituted and utterly inept condition of state authority as they try in vain to nab the perpretrator. We are forced to question ourselves, What good is it to rest our trust for security in a state institution like this?

I loved the soundtrack in this movie. It was layered and beautifully executed. And the shots, ah. Whatever be the case, right out there with the likes of Akira and Spirited Away, TMWSTS is a classic Japanese flick that is an eye-candy to watch.

PS: I got to know about this rather obscure film (and many others) via this newly discovered YT channel called The Kino Corner. Check out their video too! (first watch: 22 November, 2022)
Double Indemnity | Billy Wilder | 1944

Double Indemnity is an American neo-noir thriller with many twists in the plot, subplots, complex characters, and weird-ass 50s dialogues and acting. It is Billy Wilder’s crazy experiment into creating a cinematic flick that would attract a cinema-going audience and also manage to establish him as a visionary in American film landscape. Double Indemnity, at its heart, is a tale of trust and deceit. Characters build trust and end up both betraying and getting betrayed simultaneously. A healthy dose of 50s American slang, sometime getting too mentally jarring to comprehend. Signature Wilder with his cocky weird-ass jokes that would be better received by an audience of the 50s, I guess.

All in all, a nice continuation of exploring Wilder’s works.

(first watch: 19 November, 2022)
The Truman Show | Peter Weir | 1998

The Truman Show is an avant-garde piece of cinematic writing. It asks deep questions in an innocuous disguise. There are many clever references as treats for the inquisitive ones. And, it is a most wholesome of the so-called “happy endings”. I loved the unconventional voyeuristic camerawork that delibrately gave out the impression of being watch. That coupled with sneaky writing on the events and plotline lend extra suspense as we knew something was off from the beginning but couldn’t really manage to place it. TTS does a great job of arresting that suspense in a fulfilling manner. Questions of morality, personal freedom, the television, internet, online voyeurism, tracking, social engineering, illusion, facade, and so much more, just pours out of the premise itself. I’m sure, something new will come out of TTS everytime one sits to watch it and it will lead to a healthy amount of debate and discussion everytime. (first watch: 12 November, 2022)
Sunset Boulevard | Billy Wilder | 1950

Sunset Boulevard is an American drama/noir film executed to the highest degree of perfection. It follows a forgotten, old actress, Norma Desmond (Gloria Swanson) who lives in her own imaginative fiction where she believes she is still adored by her fans, and respected by her colleagues. The progression and eventual breakdown of her mental psyche makes up the core plotline for the film. On the other hand, we have a struggling screenwriter who stumbles upon her palace of comfort and seclusion and ends up becoming a follower/submissive?. He is trying to come to terms with his inability to “make it big” and accepting his failure with resignation. The internal conflict of these characters form an interesting dynamic throughout the film and presents multiple real-world conundrums through it. The characters are very well-developed and presented. A shoutout for Ms. Desmond’s house which is an exquisite example of a mise-en-scene. The film is engaging and keeps one on the edge and yet is not horrific. It asks deep questions through the characters and invites us to understand their plights. To all the praises I have heard about SB, I think it deserves all.

The element of a dashing broke male protagonist becoming the object of affection for a plural number of attractive females or vice-versa (As seen in Some Like It Hot) seems to me a popular story device of the 50s. Here too, we see Betty Shaefer and Norma Desmond fall for our charming little gentleman, Joe Gillis. As a matter of fact, I found little misogynistic comments / dialogues than Some Like It Hot which seems to be a mark of the era rather than the director’s mindset themselves.

(first watch: 8 November, 2022)
Some Like It Hot | Billy Wilder | 1959
The Usual Suspects | Byran Singer | 1995
Spirited Away | Hayao Miyazaki | 2001
The Double Life of Veronique | Krzysztof Kieslowski | 1991
The Big Lebowski | Coen Brothers | 1998

TBL is a evident departure by the Coen brothers from their element and yet threads close to the spirit of a Coen production. It is a comedy-drama that follows a Jeffrey Lebowski (Jeff Bridges), a pot-bellied, failed bum, who joins his friends, Donny and Walter, in bowling tournaments diligently (and pretty much nothing else). But things go awry when two rogues come and piss on his rug, mistaking him for another Jeffrey Lebowski, a namesake and a more accomplished individual with considerable reputation and a hot-chick wife who is in debt from a Mr. Jackie Treehorn. Our Jeff or “Dude” as he likes to be called, is slowly embroiled in a progression of different cacophonies. And that is essentially it, a million dollars in ransom, a kidnapped wife and a quest to bring her back.

TBL works for its very well-written characters, tidy cinematography, and story-telling. Walter Sobchak is a truly eccentric character, a short-tempered good-for-nothing who manages to fail in everything and bring the Vietnam war into every conversation. A man who loves rules and gets real upset real fast if he finds people flunking rules, Walter is just one example of a memorable and eccentric character. Infact every character lends a unique charm to every scene and create a humorous environment overall. This is a departure from the usual Coen characters who create a chilling aura on screen (Anton Chigurh from No country for old men).

Enjoyed it. Oh, and Julianne Moore. And that opening bowling game scene in slow-motion chef’s kiss.

(first watch: 21 October, 2022)
Punch Drunk Love | P. T. Anderson | 2002

Hmm. I remember starting this movie way back and leaving it around the 30 minutes mark because nothing seemed to be happening. Now, that was quite naive of me but on a second attempt, I understood that those first 30 minutes in a 90 minute film does tell the story by not telling any.

Punch Drunk Love is a simple and profound story of love and finding love. It is essentially a brilliantly told character transformation story. We meet Barry, our protagonist and immediately figure that something is off. He’s heckling a customer care line about how their frequent flyer offer outvalues the price of the product monetarily. Not talkative, small brother with seven sisters, scruffy around people, anxious about social gathering, wearing a suit at 8am(!), everything seems strange about him. Some really cool shots worth mentioning are the piano stealing scene and the three cut shots of Barry looking down at the piano from three sides. It’s so beautifully executed. Barry is a lonely grown-up man with a crying problem. He loses his temper often and ends up kicking and shattering glass at her sister’s birthday. There is a beautiful shot of Barry with drooped head and Anderson pans the camera to the left to reveal an empty dinner table (typically where loved ones converse) showing how lonely he is. Again, brilliantly done. He’s talking to his brother-in-law and talks about how “I don’t like myself sometimes” and “I don’t have someone I can talk to about things” and “I sometimes cry a lot for no reason.” Now, these are serious issues and very much real in today’s society. Anderson is talking about real condition of real men in the real world. There’s this line “Everybody would be there and I’d get a little tense and I won’t act like myself” and I broke a little inside.

As much as it is a story of Barry, let’s talk about the agent that brought about his transformation. Lena Leonard, the woman in the red dress. The more she got to know him, the more she accepted him, something he needed. Being caught in the wrong company by a phone-sex line gang, after he falls in love with Lena, he goes all the way to Utah from L.A. just to tell the guy that he’s not afraid of anything because he has someone who loves him. It’s not so much as telling the guy but telling himself. That’s something he has been wanting to listen to and now, it’s there. This is where he derives his new-found power from. No more the timid, hesistant, and awkward Barry. But have I talked about the single most memorable shot of this film? Yes! The Hawaiian rendezvous! The framing and composition, the choice of silhoutte, the body language, omg! It blew my mind really.

PS: I saw this movie featured in a StudioBinder video on yt and got reminded of leaving it midway so here we are.

(first watch: 09 October, 2022)
Minority Report | Steven Spielberg | 2002

If you ask me to describe Minority Report, I’ll call it a movie of ideas. Directed by Spielberg, it’s a testimony to changing times, changing technology, and Spielberg responding to that change (Ready Player One anyone?). Based on a Philip K. Dick short story (yes, this guy seems to supply most of our sci-fi plots), we are introduced to the Department of Precrime whose job is to stop perpetrators before they commit the crime. They are able to do this with the help of three “Pre-cogs”, surviving humans from a failed genetic experiment with a superpower. The movie is highly debatable and thought-provoking asking the obvious questions of the morality involved in arresting someone before they commit any crime and the difficult question of choice, free-will, and determination. As someone explained, the Pre-cogs don’t show what you intend to do but what you are going to do. So, when John Ardenton (Tom Cruise), the officer in Precrime gets to know he’s gonna murder someone, he starts a chain of events that with the intention of preventing that event, will inevitable lead him to it.

Setting these questions aside, we come to the engaging story because it is essentially a crime thriller with a Christie-esque (God, I have to work on my portmanteaus!) whodunnit undertones. It got fairly predictable towards the climax but it was entertaining for the better part.

Spielberg manages to paint a “plausible” futuristic vision in this film where “plausible” is defined (tongue-in-cheek by me) as not cringe enough to make me gawk but acceptable. It is a loose definition by intention as it is difficult to predict the future (no pun intended :P). Impressive computer interfaces, futuristic cars, a centrally surveillanced city system, advanced law-and-order equipments, it was cool.

Now, coming to direction and cinematography. The building surveillance scene with spyders while Ardenton is on the run is nicely shot in bird-eye view. It’s a brilliant decision because the nature of the policemen is voyeuristic / intruding and nothing could have captured that better than a God-like bird-eye shot of the residents. This is just one example I can think of right now. Engaging camerawork. Loved it.

(first watch: 09 October, 2022)
13 going on 30 | Gary Winick | 2004
A Clockwork Orange | Stanley Kubrick | 1971

“A Clockwork Orange” is Kubrick’s realisation of an Orwellian fantasy

Stanley Kubrick’s A Clockwork Orange tries to be many things in a nifty way. A satire on state control, a study of the effervescent youth, and an outlandish extol of the Ninth Symphony. Set in Britain, Orange is an English film using a made-up vocabulary derived from Russian that is delightful to listen to. With sentences such as: “Come and get one in the yarbles if you have any yarbles you eunuch jelly, thou”, and words like “malenky”, “rassoodocks”, “devotchka”, one would want to simply keep listening to it.

PLOT

Alexander DeLarge is a troubled, delinquent charming youth with an extended appetite for knifing, violence, sex, and rapes. Along with three accomplices - Pete, Dim, and Georgie, they embark on daring nightly criminal enterprises and find themselves wealthy both monetarily and carnally. With beating up bums on the street, breaking into homes to rape wifes in front of their husbands, robbery, and every progressive crime so heinous and inciting in nature, we start to disgust Alex, at the very least. But life is good for Alex, a meek set of parents, Basil, his pet snake for company, and music, oh yes, especially Ludwig van’s Ninth Symphony that he so adores. It is only after a failed theft and accidental murder of the victim that Alex finds himself sentenced to 14 years of imprisonment, a term that he despises. He is tortured and manhandled in the cells and the brutality of prison life soon makes us symphathise with our poor Alex. A poor, young lad, albeit slightly lost. Isn’t he? So, when the opportune time comes to sign up for a new psychological treatment — Ludivico treatment — by the Government in accord with its new agenda of not punishing criminals, but to “cure” them altogether, Alex jumps at the opportunity — not so much as for a sincere remorse for his past but as a means of escape from the “hellhole and human zoo”. It might not be forward of us to think of Alex as Kubrick’s own toy, a vehicle he yields to sway our sentiments at will.

THE LUDIVICO TREATMENT

This is an interesting juncture of the film wherein the oppressive and impulsive Alex is turned into a submissive, meek, subordinate via a brutal fourteen-day regime of brainwashing, and chemically conditioned repulsion for violence and (accidentally) music, especially Ninth Symphony that so poignantly accompanied the videos on Holocaust and Nazis as they were shown to Alex with eyelid-locked apparatus. What emerged out of this is a totally different man, one who won’t advance for the usual “good in-out” on an inviting naked woman but go so far as to lick the boot of an oppressor if asked to do so. And it is this moment that we begin to question the rationality and effectiveness of the method adopted by the Government. Yes, Alex is permanently conditioned to denounce crime and violence but where has the state left him the power of decision. He might not be the first to start a fight but what is alarming is the realisation that he won’t be able to defend himself if he finds himself in one. Thus, the much-lauded brainwashing technique is reduced to a masquerading method to turn the masses into submissive, little cattle. You might have guessed where Kubrick is going with this. Such procedure, if conducted en masse with the determination and resources easily accessible to the state, would surely pave the way for a totalitarian, state-controlled regime with no dissent against the dictator. An Orwellian fantasy realised.

PLOT CONTINUED

But oh, I digress much from our good, ol’ Alex, one who is forever robbed of experiencing the joys of the Ninth. The reformation does come at a cost. And it is shown most vividly by his rendezvous with his old accomplices, Dim and Georgie, who have now assumed the post of police-officers, young and brash, just how the Government would like the law-enforcers to be. The meeting isn’t pleasant. Old balance books are settled. And Alex, left to his own accord, finds himself at the cozy residence of none other than the revolting writer whose wife he had wronged. Alex reasons that due to his proboscis mask at the time of crime, the man won’t be unable to identify him straight away. But he does. And we know it. Particulaly impressed by Kubrick who manages to hold the suspense so properly in this scene. A suicide attempt by Alex goes awry after he is locked in a room and tortured by the Ninth, a remote-control, a vulnerability deliberately introduced by the state. With broken bones, he lays on his hospital bed, only to be visited by Minister of the Interior, the champion of the Ludivico technique. An understanding is reached between the two as “friends” and we are left to ponder the meaning of it all as a wild rape fantasy pops into Alex’s head making us ask the question, “What changed?”

THEMES AND MOTIFS

Orange is ambitious in the range of themes it tries to portray and comment on. Now, let’s proceed to dismantle the many motifs and references, something to always look forward to in a Kubrick. The first thing that I noticed was the usage of a peculiar vocabulary, a peculiarity that is closer to amusement just by the acoustic qualities of the sounds. The most provoking motif, although not a special one, is Kubrick’s fetish with bare female skin (Eyes Wide Shut unmistakenly comes to mind) and the need to explicitly display it, as a celebration of the female form or just a perverted downslide, that we may may never know. Classical music adorns the background score of a greater part of the movie and the dramatic and impressive usage of music to complement grosteque scenes of violence and assault is again very Kubrick-esque. Circling back to, perhaps, the most visually noticeable feature that is the mise-en-scene. There is general consensus as to the importance that Kubrick associates with his set design, props, and lighting. We are reminded of the rebellious writer’s quirky and modernist house, an unforgettable piece of interior designing. Same goes for Mr. DeLarge’s residence and the arousing Korova Milk Bar. The brilliant usage of bright and saturated colors along with patterns and motifs goes a long way in consolidating the images in the viewer’s head a long time after the movie is over, something Kubrick knew and exploited to his advantage well.

And sample this dialogue of Alex with an old roadside bum who he later thrashes:

Bum: It’s no world for an old man any longer.
What kind of a world is it at all?
Men on the moon.
Men spinning around the earth.
And there’s not no attention paid…
…to earthly law and order no more.

Nothing the usage of the Cockney English, delight for the ears to listen but not much practical. This is the style adopted throughout the script. This particular dialogue stands apart because there isn’t anything along this spirit in the movie, the regurgitory rant of the old against the new world order, that is.

CONCLUSION

Ah, so much analysis but are we left with anything more than what we came here with? Perhaps not. The highly effective Ludivico technique is (thankfully) fictional but does it imply the absence of a eqaully potent technique out there currently employed by so-called law-enforcers? Is it morally correct or even beneficial to punish the offenders? Or will it make more sense to “cure” them? ACO asks a lot of questions or maybe none at all. But who cares if it is good cinema, innit?

PS: Kinda ironic I’m composing this while listening to van Beethoven’s Ninth hehe.

PPS: Alex’s pet snake is named Basil. Can you believe that?! I’m immortalised in a Kubrick film. Still feels unreal man. LOL.
The Kashmir Files | Vivek Agnihotri | 2022

The squabble and controversy that abounded the release of this movie was justified. TKF is a hard polarising movie if consumed without context or history and thus, a conveniently dangerous trigger for the impulsive youths. Facts are heavily distorted, sometimes even changed just to fit a one-sided narrative that Agnihotri has tried to propagate in this movie. Ironically enough, in a movie which likened the Kashmiri Pandit exodus to nothing less than the Holocaust, I could safely argue that that movie is infact a propaganda film aimed less at narrating an unbiased history but creating disbalance and enmity in society.

Clocking at a whooping ~170 minutes of runtime, the story of Kashmiri Pandits is told in which the sympathy rests solely with the Pandits. A wobbly plot, lame writing, and an incoherent presentation of information makes for a jarring watch if only countered by impressive performances by a relatively star-studded cast. Anupam Kher as a distraught Kashmiri Pandit comes to mind. Suboptimal acting by the protag made me cringe but it is Bollywood after all and we cannot escape drama. The legacy, lore, and myth of Kashmir was presented in a manner that seemed more to mock the audience for not knowing such an important piece of Kashmir’s legacy than to provide that information. There is considerable gore and blood shown with explicit scenes of assault and murder. Again, the objective seemed less to provide context to an “unbiased” telling of the history (which was, of course, absent) but to instigate a new generation of youth into cornering a certain section of the society as malicious. Yes, a piece of Agnihotri’s fetishized reality.

In all the crossfire, Faiz’s poetry Hum Dekhenge is distorted to conveniently fit into the narrative by invoking traditional Islamist fundamentalist views and somehow managing to interpret the poetry in that light. In his rallying to identify with the plight of Kashmiri Pandits, Agnihotri manages to paint a more blood-bathed picture of the Valley than the paradise that it really is.

In conclusion, my original advice of consuming his movie with considerable perspective and context is essential to sift facts from fiction. Or to not consume this movie altogether.

(first watch: 5 October, 2022)
Moonrise Kingdom | Wes Anderson | 2012

Unlike other Wes Anderson movies, Moonrise Kingdom is a profound inquiry into the psychological tendencies of young children. It explores the themes of orphans and disturbed childhood. But of course, it raises these serious issues in Anderson’s light-hearted, peculiarly comical manner. We get what Anderson is telling us but don’t get overwhelmed. The message is there, it’s just a little subtle.

We follow Mr. Sam Shakusky, an orphaned twelve-year old Boy Scout who resigns from his position to rendezvous with his love interest, Ms. Suzy Bishop, an emotionally perturbed tweleve-year old girl who Sam had the chance to fancy at a performance where she played, conveniently, the raven. Their elopement was not spontaneous but involved an intimate and detailed correspondence via letters that now, Mr. and Ms. Bishop, victims of a failing marriage themselves, as Suzy spots her mother secretly spending time with Captain Sharp, the local Island police, have found and call for a search. With Sam’s exceptional Scout-boy skills and Suzy’s considerable inventory, they spend time on Mile 3.25 Tidal Inlet AKA the “Moonrise Kingdom”, only to be separated later by Scout master Ward and Suzy’s parents. The plot gets more involved but in the end, they get back together.

It’s a sweet and charming children’s movie with a little bit of objectionable material for kids. It portrays that crazy excitement of first love and kissing/being kissed for the first time. The awkwardness, the alienness, and the exhilaration. Charming and poignant in its own way. While at the same time commenting on the mental condition of an orphan who is sent to foster parents who send him to Boy Scout (And who later disown him after they hear that he’s a runaway), and a twelve-year old girl who finds a book titled “Coping with the very troubled child” with her parents. Indeed, books are an integral part of the film as Suzy loves to read books about female leads (that she stole from the library, haha) to Sam. The books, themselves, are not rugged or real but maintain that ornamental “doll-house” quality so common of props in an Anderson film.

We see two kids, untouched by the corruptions of the world yet, who identify with one another and decide to heal each other just as well. In Moonrise Kingdom, we see a different aspect of Anderson. He celebrates childhood, that transient, innocent time of our lives.

(first watch: 4 October, 2022)
Nocturnal Animals | Tom Ford | 2016

Nocturnal Animals is an interesting American psychological thriller. It tells the story of a rich and successful art curator who receives a copy of a new book written by her ex-husband whom she left for being less ambitious. As she reads through the story (which is also visually narrated to us), she slowly descends into depression as she realises how wrong she has been. At the end, she tries to redeem her mistake by trying to patch things with her ex-husband as her current marraige is failing and she’s pretty sure her husband is sleeping with other woman. The narrated story is about a man who lost his wife and daughter on the highway to Texas to a bunch of goons and found them raped and murdered later. Partnered with a cancerous police-officer, they manage to find the culprits who are murdered in increasing degrees of gore before he shots himself. So, yeah, kind of a mindfuck. Two parallele narrations and the innovative switched between them is interesting. The impressive use of sound and environment to create an atmosphere of increasing suspense and terror is commendable. Overall, it’s a nice entertainment piece.

(first watch: 3 October, 2022)
The French Dispatch | Wes Anderson | 2021

The French Dispatch: An absurdist eye-candy

Wes Anderson is a director whose works when subjected to multiple watching will be rewarding for the audience. Simply because of the sheer amount of information in each scene and shot. Stories that verge on the border of absurdity, most often comical, and seldom dark, coupled with an expansive mise-en-scene and a most peculiar camera style, Wes Anderson has created for himself a very distinctive style, one that is truly his own.

PLOT

In his latest offering, The French Dispatch, he takes us through the hardships and stories behind the publication the final issue of a weekly supplement with the Liberty, Kansas Evening Sun. We kick off with “The Cycling Reporter”, giving us a visual tour of the fictional city of Ennui. He takes the idea of “show don’t tell” and conveniently turns it around into “show and tell”. Then, we are told how “The Concrete Masterpiece” came into being, a chronicle of a genius artist confined in a prison, followed by “Revisions to a Manifesto”, a most peculiar account of a student rebellion and its first-hand account by Mrs. Krementz. We end with a amusing account of the kidnapping of the Commissioner’s son and the quest to bring him back in “The Private Dining Room of the Police Commissioner”. We end with the obituary, of course, of Mr. Howitzer, the founder and editor of The French Dispatch, who died due to an heart attack.

ELEMENTS

With the extensive use of brilliant shades of pastels, TFD features some of the most delightful set designs. The soft pinks and browns of The Grand Budapest Hotel comes to mind, again. This level of detail warrants multiple watching just to sort of “take in” everything that is happening simultaneously on screen. Characters turn into narrators and they tell the story while peering directly into the camera as if being willingly able to break free of their worlds at will. And the characters, themselves, feel so out of touch with reality, so humorous and absurd and charming that they can only be sourced from a children story-book. Yielding the power of memorable character-writing, Anderson distances himself from the more realist cinema of his contemporary peers.

CAMERA and CINEMATOGRAPHY

It doesn’t take long to infer the distinct camerawork of Anderson which primarily comprises: panning and trucking shots. These complement, rather well, his expansive set designs that demand to be explored. Just like the audience of a comic book strip, he sends our eyes scanning horizontally as he unfurls the story and reveals information with the progression of the camera.

CONCLUSION

With a cast so star-studded, it is a displeasure but not a surprise to find TFD unable to capture the attention of the audience. It is simply because it is not a movie to be watched in the theatres but to be relished again and again from the confines of one’s room. It is a difficult movie to process and rewards multiple viewings.
Blue Valentine | Derek Cianfrance | 2010

Blue Valentine is a poignant and melancholic depiction of a failing marriage, a marriage decided circumstantially and in haste. It adopts a bi-narrative style telling the story of how the marriage came to be and how it is painfully disintegrating in the present. It balances the narrations well and I think that is a differentiating point. PS: Ryan Gosling and Michelle Williams make for a cute couple.

(first watch: 1 October, 2022)
Slumdog Millionaire | Danny Boyle | 2008

SM is a shining example of how incredibly wrong people can be. Almost slated to be released in DVD, it was finally released in theaters after much tussle within Warner Bros. Recognized as a sleeper hit, it went on to win 8 Oscars in 2008 - yes, 8, including Best Picture, Best Director, and Best Adapted Screenplay.

SM is a “rags to riches” story of an uneducated 18 year old slumboy named Jamal Malik who went on to win 2 crore rupees on a television show. Suspected of foul play, he is arrested by the police and chronicles his accumulated his experiences of growing up and how he knew all the answers. Visually disturbing and starkly true, SM reminds me of White Tiger but only better. Loved the fairy-tale ending that balances well with the social commentary on the condition of slum kids. Must appreciate the cinematography, editing and acting by Dev Patel. A great place to get to know India.

(first watch: 1 October, 2022)
Django Unchained | Quentine Tarantino | 2012

Django Unchained is a Western action film by and follows Django, initially a black slave in a pre-Civil war USA in the South and his subsequent rise, through a fortuitous turn of events, to become a formidable bounty hunter. It is also a dark and serious commentary on the ill-treatment of blacks by the whites. Never has such passion erupted in my heart as watching the atrocities meted out to the blacks in this film as any other. It has been a fastastic experience (which QT film isn’t?). Scenes with suspense are so exceptionally composed, one might mistake to not be watching them but actually be in it. There was a tension between the whites and the blacks back in the 1850s. It is the same tension that Tarantino manages to weave into his scenes that lends gravity to the story. (For eg; Periodic pistol-clocking by Django under the table.)

Django is an exceptional character in its own right. A talented shooter who has a formidable level of confidence and grit. One of the good Western’s out there. (Oh I know, I should finally move my ass to watching The Good, The Bad, and the Ugly but oh well).

Auf Wiedersehen.

(first watch: 29 September, 2022)
A Trip to the Moon | Georges Meiles | 1902

Oh, so finally we’re here. At the beginning. This 15 minute science-fiction short is what most cinema historians consider as the realisation of the art of the moving camera as a form of art. It is plenty evident from the style, presentation, and techniques of an early explorer’s pioneering efforts. As if they are surveying a new found medium, defining new limits and new “laws”. The remnants of theaters are obvious too. Meiles was more of an illusionist than a director just like directors of his era. The idea of expression realism developed much later but the basic gist of cinema remains unchanged (and which we find stark and central stage in ‘Le Voyage das la Lune’): story-telling.

Georges was an absurdist, and a visionary. There are long static and wide shots, strictly defining the boundaries of what’s in frame and what’s not. The realisation that the frame itself can be dynamic through the film was unknown to these early adopters. The claustrophobic shots is one of the features that stood out for me, along with interesting camera trickery that gave varied effects on screen (superimposition of the human face on the moon, perhaps one of the most iconic cinematic images). It is ironic to think how just seventy years from when we specualated of going to the moon, we actually did go to the moon.

Another interesting exercise, as I was led to believe online, is an interpretation of ATTTM. Most accepted theory is Meiles criticizing man as a bringer of chaos and highlights the destructive nature of man. They “invaded” moon and crashed into the moon-people uninvited. We may choose to laud these gentlemen on Earth for their accomplishment and bravery, but as soon as images of the moustacheod professor/astronaut spanking moon-residents with his umbrella kicks in as they disappear in a puff of smoke, we are led to rethink our zeal. After the end of 15 minutes as we stare at the tall statue of the astronaut, we are led to think what have they actually accomplished?

(first watch: 27 September, 2022)
Reservoir Dogs | Quentin Tarantino | 1992

A bank robbery gone wrong. In Tarantino land. Identifiable motifs - men in black, car trunk scene, generous dollops of gore and violence, blood, blood, blood, gunshots, distrust, and a phasic narration style.

Six ragtags men are assembled to pull a daylight diamond heist but the maneuver goes wrong as police bust their plans. The story picks from this point where characters deliberate, ponder, and fight over the existence and identity of an undercover cop amongst them. Distrust, fear, and suspense are held in these scenes meticulously, in their carefully crafted dialogues to their behaviours. Sandwiched between these dialogues which mostly unfolds in a warehouse garage, Quentin tells the backstory of these goons. Quentin shows how creating good cinema does not require elaborate sets or a big bulky budget.

And that climax, OMG.

(first watch: 27 September, 2022)
Four Lions | Chris Morris | 2010

Four Lions is a British dark comedy satire commenting on the state of Islamic terrorism in the UK, their perception by the general crowd, and the eminent danger they pose today. I cannot begin to describe how cleverly written and well-researched this film is. I was laughing so hard in places.

The plot shows four (five actually) Muslims in London who are wannabe terrorists and how they want the ummah to rise up, their disgust for homosexuality, collective hatred towards consumerist, capitalist Western culture, and on and on. I don’t wanna spoil it for you but it’s a must-watch. What it manages to do is develop a powerful message about a controversial and sensitive topic in a humorous and light-hearted package.

Sample this: “Just because I’m a Muslim, you thought it was real?”

(first watch: 26 September, 2022)
Fantastic Mr. Fox | Wes Anderson | 2009
A rather curious visual style adopted by Wes Anderson that is reminiscient of 3D stop-motion with clay models.

Once in a while, it is uplifting to watch movies like Mr. Fox, within which you can get lost and take a break. A reverse Icarus character arc, adorable characterizations, and the visual style. That’s what I remember.

Oh, and this :P
```
Boggis and Bunce and Bean,
One fat, one short, one lean.
These horrible crooks, so different in looks.
Were nonetheless equally mean.
```
(first watch: 24 September, 2022)
Psycho | Alfred Hithcock | 1960

Psycho: An investigation of evil and malice

“We all go a little mad sometimes”, notes Norman Bates (Anthony Perkins), the lonely owner of Bates Motel, a secluded motel off the highway and the unfateful place where Marion Crane (Janet Leigh) decides to spend the night while on the run after stealing $40,000 from her boss. I think this dialogue summarizes Psycho, Alfred Hitchcock’s seminal 1960 work investigating the human tendency to bend towards evil and malice. Marion found herself commiting theft and betraying her boss of 10 years just for some money. Bates is a most interesting character for analysis. A lonely, young man who is something of a goof (or atleast that was our first impression of him). With strong the-boy-next-door vibes, he casually puts his hands in his jeans, shows genuine concern for his customers, and radiates that infectious smile all around. And then of course, Bates’ mother, the central enigma of the film. I’ll argue we all have a Mrs. Bate equivalent in ourselves (if you know what I mean) and it is this connection that gives such massive appeal to Psycho almost 60 years after its release. Hitchcock brings together our most primal fears and serves them to us in a shocking and mesmerizing platter.

CINEMATOGRAPHY

The shower murder scene is one of the most iconic shots in cinematic history and for a reason, indeed. It showed posterity how actions can be shot. By making the audience a part of the scene (an idea Hitchcock was a big fan of). The jump cuts, the scream, the grimacing face of Marion, the glint of the knife, and the blood flowing down the drain. It’s just so meticulously done. Psycho has its share of glass-ceiling breaking moments when Hitchcock kills off the heroine of the film one-third way through the film. A shocking decision that only intrigues us more. The second murder of the private detective Argobast, is cool in itself, a bird-eye shot of the event captured in its entirety, spontaneity and all. The usage of reverse projection to give us the perception of Argobast falling down the stairs. Usage of avant-garde cinematic techniques is something Hitchcock loved to experiment with (The CGI of Vertigo, unmistakenly, comes to mind).

ART AND CINEMA

A passing mention of the Bates house, an architecture inspired by Edward Hopper’s 1925 House by the Railroad, a chilling architectural equivalent representation of the occupant of the house. Hitchcock spent considerable efforts to craft a greatly detailed and almost impeccable mise-en-scene. It all adds up to the final effect that Psycho has on our psyche that is never left the same.

HITCHCOCK AND VOYEURISM

Another motif that deserves mention is Hitchcock’s fetish for voyeurism. Be it the camera scanning the skyline of Phoenix to narrow down into a hotel room where Marion and Loomis are having an illicit love affair. Or, Bates peeping into Cabin 1 through a hole in the wall (suggesting peeping into his customer’s lives is one of his pasttimes. Taxidermy being the “obvious” other) to find a half-naked Marion stripping, a beautiful creature I must give in to that and what arouses Bates desire and sets the plot in effective motion.

AN AVOIDABLE OVERKILL

One tiny rant: I think the explanation at the climax by the psychatrist was an overkill and unnecessary. With a movie that relies so heavily on suspense and cliff-hangers, it would have only made more sense if Hitchcock had decided to let the audience connect the dots for themselves by just giving them enough morsel for thought. But it might have been Hitchcock paranoid about masses not being able to understand his film, a constant paranoid for artists, I suppose. Premise felt similar to Agatha Christie’s Mousetrap. And, the initial premise of Marion finally realizing her mistake of stealing money bore too great a resemblance to Selma Lagerlorf’s short story Rattrap, a text I remember from my school curriculum.

“We all go a little mad sometimes”. Yes, and Psycho confronts and celebrates that upfront and close.
Blue Velvet | David Lynch | 1986

Blue Velvet is an American thriller neo-noir. Set in a small town called Lumberton, we are introduced to a potentially unstable masochist singer Dorothy Vallens (Isabella Rossellini) via the protagonist, Jeffrey, who has returned to town and has conveniently started romancing the local detective’s daughter (Laura Dern). With the romance of Jeffrey and Sandy forming a distracting side-plot, Lynch tells the story of Dorothy and Frank, “a very sick and dangerous man”, via, again, Jeffrey who is someone of a “mystery lover”, breaking into apartments and following criminals in the night. Frank has made a sexual slave out of Dorothy by blackmailing her about her kidnapped husband and son. Frank is killed. Dorothy returns back to sanity after uniting with her son and Jeffrey and Sandy are a thing.

Drawing obvious parallels between Blue Velvet and Mulholland Drive, I was better able to understand Lynch’s style, cinematography, and mind. Innocuous objects are lent a chilling dimension, common places (the stairway to Dorothy’s apartment, for example) are casted into mysterious and malicious environments, while characters hold central stage in stylization and dialogues as they enrapture the audience from the beginning. Of course, none of these contribute to the plot but manages to instantaneously heighten the suspense and drama of a scene, something Hitchcock would be extremely proud of. Blue Velvet has its share of absurdity and weirdness. For example; why the hell was that hooker dancing on top of the car while Jeffrey was being assaulted by Frank? The strong and lasting imageries that Lynch creates stems from his ability to appeal to the sensual and inherently absurd quality of the human mind. Sensuality, sexuality, the “primal instinct” (Remember Frank’s “I’ll fuck anything that moves”?), destruction, crime are such an important theme of the film. it is how Lynch views modern society, full of crime and lust - “a strange world”. Kudos to Isabelle R for incredible and bold portraiture of a disheveled mother and wife - a character of conflict herself when she cannot decide if she should report to the police or give in to her own pleasures that she draws from being slapped and beaten.

Mixed feelings about how I feel about this movie but in any case, it’s a must-watch. Masterpiece? I won’t go so far (That would be Mulholland Drive if anything). Managed to inspire Tarantino, Coen brothers, and the like. Influential. Yes, that.

“It’s a strange world” is a recurrent dialogue in the movie. It really is. I think the movie is Lynch’s expression of personal anguish of finding himself in a strange world and counting on the robins to arrive. Something we all can identify with, I suppose.

(first watch: 23rd September, 2022)
Loves of a Blonde | Milos Forman | 1965

Loves of a Blonde is Forman’s concerns vocalised about an Eastern Czechoslovakia that is lagging behind its contemporary Western counterparts. He employs a number of elements to convey that apprehension. Being a jazz fan, he points out how Slovaks were still using traditional music in ballrooms whereas Beatlemania was raging in Western blocs (It was the 1960s, after all). He talks about the perception of sexual relations in contemporary Czechoslovak, consequent perception of woman, their doubts and concerns, outdated seduction practices. But at the same time, we see Andula, the heroine rebelling and making herself an active participant in her sexual lifestyle (supposedly a controversial idea at that time). We see her in an almost naked frontal shot, vivid and bright, like a fearless independent woman.

I like to think it was Forman silently talking about the next generation of Czechs waking up from their isolated worldviews to their Western counterparts and slowly coming to speed with the modern world. And of course, there is no dramatic plot or character transformation, although it is a feature. Overall, a gentle introduction to Czech cinema for me.

(first watch: 19th September, 2022)
Paterson | Jim Jarmusch | 2016

If I have to summarise this movie in one line: “The story of a modern man”. That may sound bland and simple but it isn’t. This movie follows a bus driver, Paterson (Adam driver) in the eponymous city of Paterson, New Jersey. He cuddles his wife in bed, wakes up at past 6, goes to work, takes his dog for a walk, hangs out in the bar. There doesn’t seem to be anything wrong with his life and then you realise that is exactly what is wrong with his life. He is a poet and writes in free-verse in his “secret notebook”. A girl calls him, “A bus driver that likes Emily Dickinson”. He rarely smiles or laughs and when he does, he’s careful to draw back. Maybe it’s difficulty to communicate with others, maybe it’s loneliness. he loves his wife, loves his job, likes to listen to people having conversations on the bus - draws inspiration from everything around him. He’s a poet, after all.

His wife has big dreams. Wants to be a country star, bakes cupcakes that are a hit at a local community and earns her $286. The small wins that accrue. Revels in the rich history and heritage of his city. It’s a movie that will make one think deeply about things. Or maybe not. But that’s not the point.

(first watch: 20th September, 2022)
Waking Life | Richard Linklater | 2001

Waking Life is an introspective and rich movie commemorating and simultaneously examining human life and existence in general. There is no plot as such and nothing “progresses” in a conventional way. The protagonist is dreaming and talking to a number of people who are sermonizing him on a variety of topics, deep philosophical questions that loosely try to answer, “What are we?”. Linklater comments on linguistics, on morality, evolution, existentialism, the mind, politics, democracy (or lack thereof), of raw human emotions like hunger, anger, frustration, and what they lead to like murders, bombings, and war. There are two shots - one of a man who while talking to the protagonist on a sidewalk, sets himself on fire in broad daylight and another seemingly innocuous conversation between two pals in a bar which escalated into both shooting at each other. The pace of the movie is slow but it lends itself well to be watched at 1.5x or even 2x, just to keep one on their toes.

Linklater is known for creating immersive experiences out of human conversations (Before Sunset) and he does that here as well. Of course, it is futile to talk about this movie without talking about the unique visual style. I think it was a nice decision to animate the movie so as to allow that degree of freedom in more creatively expressing the dream-like premise in which the story unfolds. Kudos to the animator team. Loved those disorienting environment shifts, the floating buildings and trees. That had an enchanting effect on me personally.

My first impression was: Cool-ass movie where people ask deep philosophical questions. That still holds good.

(first watch: 17 September, 2022)
Vantage Point | Pete Travis | 2008

A refreshing new idea. So, the film is essentially a retelling of the story of the assassination of the POTUS at a peace summit in Spain through, you guessed it, multiple vantage points. Pete artfully divulges new information through these people’s perspective, kinda mimicking how no one agent in a system has complete information about an event but rather is distributed. This quality of an unreliable source of truth has often hastened critics to draw comparisons with Kurosawa’s Rashomon but I suppose that is too hasty and ill-founded. The Rashomon effect referred to the absence of confidence in the account of any narrator of an event. With a little thought, it can be seen that Vantage Point is not the same as the different vantage point only divulges more and coherent information about the truth that is generally agreed upon. It can be, interpreted as, an innovative mode of narration and sure, something that kept me engaged till the very end.

(first watch: 16 September, 2022)
My Sassy Girl | Jae-young Kwak | 2001

Based on the true story of a boy’s relationship that he wrote about on his blog, MSG was a phenomenal success in Korea when it was released. And now, when I have watched it, I can see why. It is quirky, hilarious, and heart-warming. It manages to overturn typical stereotypes of the society back then too. With a relationship in jeopardy, let’s just say it’s something I needed at this point.

PS: Extra points for that car drive scene and the resolution at the end.

PPS: My introduction to Korean New Wave lesgoooo!

(first watch: 16 September, 2022 )
North By Northwest | Alfred Hitchcock |

A trademark Hitchcock. A gripping mystery, a hero chase, beautiful heroine in distress, generous dollops of misogyny, engaging rhythm, creative cinematography. It was a good story that got complimented by the conversion to the film medium by Hitchcock and not the other way around. But what really stood out for me was the subtle misogyny and treatment of women by Hitchcock in his films:

Eve: I’m a big girl. Thornbill: Yeah, and in all the right places too.

WTF?

Or this,

Eve: Maybe it was the first time anyone ever asked me to do anything worthwhile.

(first watch: 13 September, 2022)
Call Me By Your Name | Luca Guagagnino |

CMBYN is a love story told in the span of a summer between a teenage boy and a researcher who is spending the summer with the boy’s father, an anthropology (linguistics?) professor. It’s a beautiful film, from the shots to the composition of scenes. I liked that aspect. It does a commendable job of capturing the anxiousness, apprehensions of immature experience of first love.

The centrepiece of the movie is Elio, the awkward, nervous lover-boy. He transcribes music, reads a hell lot of books, swims, doesn’t respond very well to invitations of love, is not competent enough to express his own, dozes off after jerking off, is excessively horny, does weird things when he’s around a lover, in short: he’s a schoolboy. PS: At one point, he is told to “grow up”.

On another note, Marzia (Esther Garrel). Oh. My. Fucking. God.

Too slow for my tastes but I guess that is by design. I actually left it midway some time back and completed it today.

“Is it better to speak or to die?”

(first watch: 10th September, 2022)
Tokyo Godfathers | Satoshi Kon |

This remained on my list for a very long time. All Kon movies are delightful from his efforts in going that extra mile for the characters, to wholesome stories, and cinematography. Kon is a master of his medium.

In Tokyo Godfathers, he chooses to tell the story of three homeless bums who couldn’t be more different but somehow manage to stick around - a drinker and gambler who left his family, a homosexual, needy man, and a stubborn teenager who ran away from home after she stabbed her father. The story chronicles their journey through Tokyo of trying to find the mother of an abandoned child on Christmas and how they eventually the child’s godfathers.

Kon explores the theme of mother’s love but the theme is so subtle and fleeting that one only comes to terms with it at the climax. And I think that is ingenious and a nice way to outstand from the herd where the trope of “mother’s love” sits glaring front and centre, literal death by boredom. Kon keeps us so sufficiently distracted in all the happenings, the quirky characters, the action, the shocking twists to sneakily plant the theme in place.

Kon also takes liberty to sermonize us through the characters on love, life, people. However, compared to his previous works like Perfect Blue, Millenium Actress, or Paprika, he lets his illusionist edge take a back-seat. The story is top-notch and real, and he chooses to put that front and centre. I loved it!

(first watch: 9th September, 2022)
Ralph Break The Internet | Rich Moore, Phil Johnston |
Wreck-It Ralph | Rich Moore |
Mulholland Drive | David Lynch |

My introduction to David Lynch. Let me be honest that I have been prepetually stalling this director only to watch one of his magnus opus on an inpulsive spree. And boy, oh boy, it’s incredible. Gave me literal chills. Horror, suspense, atmosphere, setting, hot lead actresses, mind-fucking thriller. All the hype I heard about MD being able to conjure successfully one of the most suspenseful atmosphere is, in fact, true. A great first watch of Lynch. Blue velvet next ;) (first watch: 5th September, 2022)
Vivre sa vie | Jean Luc-Godard |

Vivre sa vie (My life to live) follows a young girl as she descents into the occupation of prostitution. The story untolds in a set of 12 labelled tableaux (scenes but more disjoint in time and space). This film is a product of the French New Wave phenomenon and it is evident from the unorthodox camera movements, avant-garde cuts (cue in the ingenious gun shot scene with Nana in the cafe and Raoul outside). Tracking shots, gyrating shots, extreme bird view tracking shots, and static, almost fixated close-up shots with a disregard to the environment (often without any establishing shots), all of which helped establish Vivre sa vie as an iconic New Wave film. The chemistry and tumultous relationship between Godard and Anna Karina cannot be overlooked in any conversation involving the New Wave simply because of her creative influence on Godard in the creation of the new style.

In Vivre sa vie, she uses style, body language, and facial expressions to express the apprehensions of a struggling Parisian woman trying to make both ends meet. I personally loved the conversation with the philosopher (the 11th tableaux). The last tableaux is reminiscient of “Breathless” (the parallel will be obvious to those who have watched it; I will leave it to others to find out). A film about life and love. An art film.

(first watch: 4th September, 2022)
Barry Lyndon | Stanley Kubrick |

Barry Lyndon is a period drama set in 1700s England during the reign of George, the third. It is the story of an unknown young and ambitious man who through his cunning and bravado achieves much and just as quickly loses everything, as men often tend to become fools and meek after the attainment of a certain portion of wealth and fortune.

The film is a great starting place to study composition in films. The elaborate settings, the costumes, the props, the posture - Kubrick shows his meticule and attention to detail. The repeating motif of pull back shots is a characteristic of this film (The pull-back shot is generally used to reveal location around the vicinity of a character and/or serve as establishing shots). The masterful use of pull backs can be studied to understand when and when not to use a pull back. Loved it.

(first watch: 28th August, 2022)
Liberal Arts | Josh Radnor |

Saw a post on Instagram about the “We should hug” scene from this movie and I instantly knew that I had to watch it. Brilliant writing. The dialogues are chef’s kiss. The movie explores the themes of growing up, adulthood, and accepting changes. It tracks the life of a timid clerk who revisits his alma mater and attracts the attention of a college sophomore while soaking in his own nostalgia of college life and simultaneously battling the tinging realization of the irretrievable past. I could connect better with this movie probably because I’m in college but dude, those dialogues.

“You could go up to everyone here and say, ‘I’m a poet’, and no one will punch you in the face.”

You get to sit around and read books all day and have really great conversations about idea;

People out in the world, they’re not really doing that.

And many more. Also, did I vent how beautiful I think the title of the movie is. Should have gone to an art school.

(first watch: 23rd August, 2022)
Vertigo | Alfred Hithcock | 1958

I can understand why this movie is included in the list of “greatest films ever made” and is included in the case study of every budding filmmaker. This movie did things differently for the first time. Introduced innovative cinematographic techniques (such as the “dolly” shot) that became the standard in every filmmaker’s toolkit. Pioneered computer graphic usage in films. In a way, it was one of the films that wrote how films should be made and which was how films were made for a long time. There is a residual and quite distinct 50s character and style to the film.

Film was a relatively new medium of expression and it shows. From acting to the continuation of shots. The concept of “getting into a character” was meagrely defined and was still being developed. Actions sometimes just feel “empty”. Camerawork, although revolutionary, was still not complete. The ability to storytell a scene via a collection of shots, though polished by Hitchcock, was still not there. This is very prominently portrayed by the last scene after the nun finds out two strangers on the bell-tower attic. So out of place, it made me laugh.

Loved the suspense. Loved the music and design. The compositions were marvellous. Hitchcock was a master of creating suspense. This movie shows how its done.

(first watch: 18nd August, 2022)
Kill Bill Vol. 2 | Quentin Tarantino | 2004

Ditto Vol. 1. Tarantino movies are immensely rewatchable not only from the entertainment perspective which makes them accessible to the inexperienced but also serve as study material for the budding filmmakers. (first watch: 15th August, 2022)
Kill Bill Vol. 1 | Quentin Tarantino | 2003

Wacky. Signature Tarantino style. Motifs of food, feet, and refreshing cinematography. Coupled with striking shots and engaging storytelling.

(first watch: 14th August, 2022)
Who’s Afraid of Virginia Woolf? | Mike Nichols | 1966

Who’s Afraid of Virginia Woolf? is an American theatrical piece by Edward Albee adapted for the screen. It explores the dysfunctional marriage of a history professor and his infertile, tumoultous wife whilst commenting on other existential issues like facing realities and the nature of illusion and lies.

The play is set mostly in George and Martha’s house where they receive a young, newly-wed couple, Nick, who is a professor in the Biology Department, and Honey, his “slim-hipped” wife after a party hosted by Martha’s father and head of Institute. The ensuing conversation between these two couples and a number of scandalous, heart-breaking, and vicious events turn the night into a despicable hell-hole. The characters are rich in complexities and multi-layered who can be dissected for a long time and provide ample food for discussion.

The central piece of the play is George and Martha’s marriage and the hundred ways they cannot survive each other and yet surprisingly have stuck together for so long. It’s a childless marriage and a truth Marta chooses to hide by conjuring a phantom son who is sixteen years old. George was once an ambitious young man who has a wild childhood, and has failed to achieve much in life eventually to live off his father-in-law’s money, a fact Martha cruelly points out and it seems, likes to take pride in. Out of frustration, the couple lacerates each other and their guests in multiple avenues through the night. It is, to say the least, painful to watch. Words turn to acid that dissolves any affection, gestures turned murderous and appalling. George eventually breaks the reality to Martha that is, that they have no children, a fact that seem to finally cap the excited, nymphous middle-aged woman.

There is love between George and Martha when she, in one of her spontaneous fits, confesses her love for George in a very poignant and deep monologue.

Martha: Whom I will not forgive for having come to rest.

For having seen me and having said “Yes, this will do.”

Who has made the hideous, the hurting the insulting mistake of loving me.

And must be punished for it.

~Who’s Afriad of Virginia Woolf?, Edward Albee

Virginia Woolf stood as a woman who preferred to face realities instead of living in illusions. Hence, the curious title of the play eventually translates to: “Who is afriad of facing realities?”, an appropriate title to the play and made more stark when Martha says, “I am. I am” in her closing lines. It leaves us wondering whether we are afriad of Virginia Woolf too.

(first watch: 13th August, 2022)
The 400 Blows | Francois Truffaut | 1959

A classic that helped kick-start French New Wave. I loved the story and cinematography. It’s a movie that celebrates childhood, Paris, and the audacity to not listen. Loved it really. (first watch: 6th August, 2022)
Irreversible | Gaspar Noe | 2002

Gaspar Noe is known for commenting on sensitive topics via heavily experimental, avant-garde films. In “Irreversible”, he undertakes the task of telling the story of an ugly and horrifying night in the life of a couple in reverse chronological order. We meet Marcus, wild and aggressive, who seems on the verge of a mental collapse, running across the city chasing someone by the name of Tenia. He’s the embodiment of aggression and violence: trashing, punching, smashing people’s heads. The frames captures raw emotions, a dillusioned Marcus as Noe tries to convey his world collapsing by swirling his camera all over the subject and beyond. The camera movement seems forced and annoying compelling us to empathise with the fact that all is not well in Marcus’s life and suddenly, the movements start to feel like poetic. The only point of calmness is his friend, Pierre, who accompanies him through the cacophonic night.

Marcus’ girlfriend, Alex, was raped and killed in the subway while Marcus and Pierre were at a party. Alex was fed up by a drunken Marcus and left for home alone. She was suggested to take the subway to cross the road as it was “safer”. The shocking and terrifying 9 minute long rape scene shook the Cannes audience way back in 2002. And yet, it is so enraging and horrifying to realise that this is how it happens when it does.

The movie takes a peaceful turn in the second half as Gaspar elucidates the relationship between Alex and Marcus. Their bedroom scene is so pregnant with irony; when Alex vehemantly disagrees to be treated like an object men can pass around; or when she smirks at Pierre, her ex, when asked about her sex life with Marcus. The smirk of a woman who prides herself in the secrets she keeps. Something broke in my heart when she said, “It’s always the woman who decides”. It is a well-written balance to the first half where Marcus rummages through the wastelands of Paris, through filthy sex clubs, through depraved souls, and through smashing skulls.

Gaspar Noe learnt everything in film school just to make sure he never uses them. I talked about the camera, floating in space like a spectre. There is a loud wailing noise in the background at all times. The color palatte is dark. We see subjects in glimpses.

PS: Heavy violence, gore, sexual content. Highly disturbing (like all Noe movies). Watch at your discretion.

(first watch: 4th August, 2022)
La nuit Americaine (Day for Night) | Francois Truffaut | 1973

Day for Night opens to what sounds like a conductor orchestrating an arrangement. Cuts to a livid and bustling Parisian avenue in the daylight as the camera follows a man who follows and slaps another man.“CUT!” and we snap back to reality – a scene was shot. Day for Night, which borrows its name from a filmmaking technique that is used to shoot night scenes in daytime, is a film about films by the acclaimed French New Wave director, Francois Truffaut.

The rich French culture of appreciation of films as work of art shines through in this visual storytelling that verges on the metaphysical portraiture of making films itself. We follow director Ferrand (Francois Truffuat) as he fends a number of personal and professional problems of himself, the cast, and the crew to shoot a film called “Meet Pamela” – an adulterous tale in which the hero’s fiancee falls in love with his father.

In a voiceover he rhetorically asks: “What is a director? Someone who’s asked endless questions about everything.” and goes on to prove the validity of his answer. The film beautifully captures the multitude of things going wrong, taking unexpected turns, the improvisations, the cast whims, the cast breakdowns, crew management, the logistics, the producer, the studio, and what not. I strongly believe any budding filmmaker should watch this film atleast once.

What I appreciated was the fact that inspite of all hurdles, Truffaut manages to sneak in the fantasized, dream-like quality of cinema. Be it the bundle of book on filmmaking he got in order or montages of shooting set in beautiful composition accompanied by majestic upbeat music by composer Georges Delerue. He takes pride in his art like an artist in his painting. Ferrand’s a restless detective, drawing inspiration from even the mundanities of existence. During the shoot, he improvises words spoken by the lead actress during her personal breakdown and introduced them as dialogues for her character! Or when he steals a blue vase from the hotel because it would fit perfectly in the scene. To be honest, it is difficult to point out where Ferrand ends and where Truffaut begins. A bit mischeivous, a bit crazy.

Filmmaking is a difficult job and perhaps, the job of the director the hardest. This movie is a great starting point to begin to understand that.

“A director must be a policeman, a midwife, a psychoanalyst, a sycophant, and a bastard.”

~Billy Wender.

PS: The 400 Blows next :P

(first watch: August 3rd, 2022)
Playtime | Jacques Tati | 1967

Read more about it here
Rashomon | Akira Kurosawa | 1950

My introduction to Kurosawa. Rashomon is quite an accessible piece among his works. Loved it for the vivid emotions and the residual influence of silent films. That iconic “woodcutter walking into the forest” scene is visual pleasure for the cinephile. And I suppose there is enough said and analysed about the meaning of the plot, the puzzle of the “true” murderer, and the nature of objective truth and human psychology itself. In ~88 minutes, Akira Kurosawa takes us into a world bordering on the mystic and supernatural and shows us the power of ingenious cinematography, camera movements, and clever editing. PS: A more critical piece is in the pipeline.

(first watch: Jul 27th, 2022)
Zindagi Na Milegi Dobara | Zoya Akhtar | 2011

This. Movie. Is. A. Vibe. Amazingly writing, beautifully directed. Loved the poetry, the drama, the locales. One of those few pieces of art that makes you want to leave everything behind, pack your bags, and just head out. Kerouac’s On the Road made me feel this way too. Definitely rewatchable!

(first watch: Jul 23rd, 2022)
Inglorious Basterds | Quentin Tarantino | 2009

By style and execution, this is a Tarantino all the way down (The skillfully directed strudel scene with Landa and Shoshanna in a confrontational ballet (contrary to the popular opinion of the opening chapter which is still great nevertheless)). Divided into chapters, it tells the fictional story of a group of Jewish-American-Italian rebel group that goes about terrorizing the Nazis of occupied France and the chase by Herr Hans Landa, an SS officer and the main antagonist of the movie. Basterds lacked the chaotic harmony of Pulp fiction where Tarantino masterfully weaved multiple plots and storyline into a cohesive whole. In that respect, Basterds is a less ambitious ordeal. But let that not fool you from the exceptional cinematography and brilliant shots and compositions that once again proves Tarantino as a master of his art (Cue in the shot of a hesitant Shoshanna resting against a huge window). The characters of Landa and Adolf Hilter himself, written in their incredulously humorous and dumb-witted fashion, were reminiscient of Taika Waititi’s another great movie, Jojo Rabbit. Great anti-war story with humour but I presume that is only to counter the explicit gore and violence that is one of Tarantino’s regular motifs.

(first watch: Jul 21st, 2022)
Arrival | Dennis Villeneuve | 2016

Arrival is Ted Chiang’s novella “Story of your life” adapted for the screen. Told in a non-linear chronological order by a Dr. Louise Banks, an accomplished linguist as she recalls events of the past and yet something of her manner of talking is disconcerting. She talks in “You’d” and “I’ll” as if she’s already aware of what will happen. And indeed, the movie explores the themes of determinism, free-will, and eventually Cassandra complex in the behaviour of its protagonist, Louise. There is ample food for thought to the budding linguists in the language and its consequent decipherment of the “Heptapods” - the creatures who arrived. Amazing perfomances by Amy Adams and Jeremy Renner (playing Dr. Ian Donnelly) alongwith brilliant direction from Villeneuve who is known for masterfully directing thrillers. Coherent and wholesome. (first watch: Jul 21st, 2022)
Phantom Thread | P. T. Anderson | 2017

Reynolds Woodcock is a successful fashion designer who is also a pain in the ass. A man who lost his mother at a young age and misses dearly, he is the antithesis of what he projects on the outside, when he’s alone. The plot follows him and Alma Elson, an indomitable local waitress as they fall in love despite their differences and is beautifully told. There are some innovative camera shots in this movie.

(first watch: Jul 20th, 2022)
Doctor Strange: Multiverse of Madness | Sam Riami | 2022

I expect MCU to deliver monotonuous, cookie-cutter, feel-good movies and it never disappoints. Great for when I want to “switch off” my brain. Also, WTF Wanda?

(first watch: Jul 19th, 2022)
But I’m The Cheerleader | Jamie Rabbit | 1999

What’s this movie LMFAO? It’s so weird and cringey and unfinished. So, basically, a group of homosexuals are sent to a therapy school called ‘True Directions’ which is headed by a hot-headed (read: humorous) headmistress Mary Brown (Cathy Moriarty) who believes in the simple “five step” solution to “cure” homosexuality as if it’s a disease. Very cringey writing, humorous and memorable characters. Overall, a funny movie.

(first watch: Jul 18th, 2022)
District 9 | Neill Blomkamp | 2009

Entertaining. Contains strong graphic violence. Liked the character arc.
Blue is the Warmest Color | Abdellatif Kechiche | 2013

Ok. I can understand now what the protests were all about when this came out 9 years ago. The male director does seem to border on fetishizing lesbians. Other than that, I think it’s a great movie nevertheless, although a tad too long.

PS: I Follow Rivers is such an earworm, OMG!!

(first watch: Jul 10th, 2022)
Little Women | Greta Gerwig | 2019

Wow, so many memorable lines. I really should have read the book :P They mean well when they say read the classics. One would actually want to live with the March sisters as they go about their business. Each sister is so well developed as a character and Alcott diversifed so well that every teenage girl, irrespective of their era, would be able to identify themselves with one of them. Love the conflict in Jo March’s character. “I want to be great, or nothing” is so well-spoken. And then you have, “Writing doesn’t confer importance, it reflects it”. Cherry of a movie. Definitely watchable with kids around.

(first watch: Jul 10th, 2022)
When Harry Met Sally | Rob Reiner | 1989

Well, another classic off my list I suppose :p But it’s a hilarious and touching movie. Laughed so hard at the fake Sally orgasm in the deli scene.
Pitch Perfect | Jason Moore | 2012

A modern musical based on the A Capella style of music making. Enjoyed the witty dialogues and the deadpan, sometimes dark humour. Character arcs were explicit and it was fun to revisit contemporary songs in an A capella setting. Watched it with a friend and learnt a lot of A capella-terms. A-ca-awesome (!) (first watch: Jul 4th, 2022)
American Psycho | Mary Harron | 2000

American Psycho is a open-ended, metaphorical study of the American capitalist mindset. It takes the idea of the quintessential Wall Street banker and stretches that to its extreme. It is beyond doubt that this movie counts among the finest of modern cult classics. The suspense, the drama, the sheer terror of it all, the constant pinging question of the fate of the next person Patrick Bateman would meet. Bateman stands in the company of the finest villains such as Anton Chigurh, John Doe, and Hannibal Lecter. His presence in the frame itself is terrifying and to achieve such effect requires a mastery of the craft. I admit that the ending is ambigous. We never know if it was Bateman’s imagination or for real but I think that makes sense because in the high-class, ultra-rich American bourgeois circles, it is difficult to separate fact from fiction. We see that detective Kimball was unable to link any of the murders back to Bateman and just to add to your annoyance, none of the “murders” committed by Patrick were seen by other people on screen. So, is Bateman the metaphorical representation of the American rich dog who is above law and order and can get away with any crime, no matter how heinous or is he the representation of the over-clocked American workman who has lost it under anxiety and tension? I watched this with a friend and totally enjoyed it. Brilliant cinematography for eg: the casual shot of Bateman opening his refrigerator door to reveal a severed female head wrapped in plastic or the stored dead female bodies in his closet. It’s how quickly Harron was able to escalate situations that makes this movie a super edgy watch.

Review 2 that I wrote for college newsletter:

American Psycho is an open-ended, metaphorical study of the American capitalist mindset. It explores the limits of the psychological derangement of the quintessential Wall Street banker. The tantalizing question of the fate of the next person Patrick Bateman (Christian Bale) encounters keeps the viewers on their toes. Bateman stands in the company of some of the greatest villains of all time: Anton Chigurh (No Country for Old Men), John Doe (Se7en), and Hannibal Lecter (Silence of the Lambs).

Bale’s calm and cold demeanor lends a chilling edge to his character. We never find out if the events shown were fictitious or real, which mirrors the blurred line between fact and fiction in aloof aristocratic circles, American or not. We see that detective Kimball was unable to link any of the murders to Bateman, and to add to one’s annoyance, none of the “murders” committed by Patrick were seen by anybody else on screen.

Is Bateman the representation of the opulent, entitled American who can get away with any crime, regardless of how heinous it is, or the overclocked American workman driven to insanity by anxiety and tension?

Brace yourself, as Bateman sermonizes his victims to the music of “Huey Lewis and the News” or Whitney Houston in one scene and axes them in the next; or as he opens his refrigerator to casually reveal severed female heads wrapped in plastic. Psycho, without doubt, justifies itself as a modern cult classic.

(first watch: July 2nd 2022)
Mad Max: Fury Road | George Miller | 2015

This is the definition of action-packed. Amazing movie from all respects. Loved it. Can rewatch anytime. No breakthorughs in terms of technique or cinematography but exceptional usage of existing ones. Brilliant writing of course, and editing. Now I know what the hype is all about. Again, couldn’t take my eyes off it (!) (first watch: July 2nd, 2022)
Lost and Delirious | Leo Pool | 2001

The story follows two teenager girls who are in love with each other but then one decides to act on the “log kya kahenge” narrative which leaves the other girl distraught. The movie essentially explores the intense disheaval and delirium that the lose of a lover can bring. I think the writing was disbalanced because the characters weren’t realised to their full potential (For eg: the head mistress and her side-kick). I can imagine that it must have been “blasphemous” for a 2K1 audience for it does have few “bold” scenes. Also have to mention that Indian song/composition by Yves Chamberland which seems so out of place. Since it is unnamed, I couldn’t find translation for the lyrics which is so sad. Yes, now I’m gonna go and read Macbeth :P PS: It doesn’t end well. PPS: Yes, this is me celebrating pride month at the end because exams 😢 (first watch: Jun 30, 2022)
Heat | Micheal Mann | 1995

Set in LA, Heat is the classic police-and-theif chase story with a heart. Follows Neil McCauley (Robert de Niro) as he crafts master plans to rob banks, and execute dissidents, manage a personal life, etc. with Vincent Hanna (Al Pacino), a LAPD Homicide officer on his tail. It’s a great movie on so many levels. Great writing, cinematography, acting. It managed to keep me at the edge of my seat till 3:30 AM (LOL). Great movie for a Saturday night with friends. (first watch: Jun 27, 2022)
Scott Pilgrim vs. The World | Edgar Wright | 2010

How do I even begin to describe this cherry of a movie? Imagine someone mixed video games, rock music, and a love story together. The plot, the execution, the brilliant cinematography, the creative editing (which I highly approve of), this movie speaks for something beyond its age. It’s a weird movie, no doubt. But in a good way. And that is the best kind of weird, really. So, the story follows this skinny Canadian boy called Scott Pilgrim who’s reeling from past breakup and own problems when he meets Ramona Flowers, an American hipster and instantly falls in love with her. But he must defeat every member of the League of Evil Exes to get to be with her. It’s the kind of boy-meet-girl, fall-in-love, can’t-be-together, fight-against-all-odds, now-together, happy ending, reimagined. And, the characters OMG! (And Mary Elizabeth’s Ramona is so hot (LOL)) PS: There are seven of Ramona’s exes. PPS: Every teenager should watch this movie atleast once! PPPS: And why only teenagers? (OK, I’m too excited but it’s a good movie, I can’t help it. Ok, bye) (first watch: Jun 26, 2022)
Badlands | Terence Mallick | 1973

A beautiful film from start to finish. From the writing down to each individual shot, it exudes a sense of artistic appreciation in the executor. Paced and balanced story, had a tough time deciphering the Southern accent (lol), nice soundtrack, great dialogues. Overall, ~~justified of being in Ebert’s Best Movies list~~ a good watch. (first watch: Jun 23, 2022)
The Platform | Galder Gaztelu-Urrutia | 2019

A deeply metaphorical, introspective study of capitalism, exisiting societal structures, and the human nature. Has a quasi religious undertone to it. Intriguing and a good watch. (first watch: Jun 20, 20222)
Millenium Actress | Satoshi Kon | 2001

Holy cow! I want to kick myself for delaying this gem of a movie for this long. In this movie, Kon tells a romance story in his style, bringing together drama, love, poignance, piquing our interest, keeping us arrested in the disorienting whirlwind that is his modus operandi. There is chaos and yet, it doesn’t feel chaotic. The blurry line between reality and imagination is a recurring theme in all of Kon’s works and in this, it outshines. As Chiyoko remarks at the end, “After all, what I really love is the pursuit of him”, we are forced to rethink the basis of our affection. (first watch: Jun 12, 2022)
Breathless | Jean Luc-Godard | 1960

Hm, what’s such a big deal? Oh. Wait. Wow, WTF, this is genius! (first watch: Jun 07, 2022)
One Day | Lone Scherfig | 2011

Had to force myself to stop so I could finish the book first. But worth every bit of it. Anna Hathaway in one of her fine performances. And loved that cockney accent. (first watch: Jun 02, 2022)
Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone | Chris Columbus | 2001

Yes, this is the first time I watched this (stop with the shocked looks already, okay!). I was really meant to read first but time scarcity. Hence. I really enjoyed the Diagon Alley vibes. Been going through some shit myself and needed somewhere to escape. This perfectly fitted the bill. And then, Emma Watson 💜 (first watch: May 20th, 2022)
Everything Everywhere All At Once | Kwan and Scheinert | 2022

Nice concept but I think badly executed. Sick editing and mind-boggling cinematography. (first watch: May 19th, 2022)
Skyfall | Sam Mendes | 2012

Typical James Bond movie. Post-minor fallout. (first watch: May 13, 2022)
Lady Bird | Greta Gerwig | 2017

Funny, balanced, mature. The story of this typical teenager girl from Sacramento who pushes through a financially unsound household, relationship, college, and just existence in general. Enjoyed it. (first watch: May 2nd, 2022)
Fargo | Coen Brothers | 1996

Fargo is an Oscar-winning “comedy crime thriller”. Directed by the brilliant Coen brothers, it’s a fictional story of a inept car sales manager who pays a couple of henchmen to kidnap his wife in order to exhort money from his miser father-in-law. However, things go awry and end up pretty badly for everyone. Superb storytelling, that Minnesota accent, the stark white settings, and Mike Yanagita makes this a movie truly deserving of being included in many “Best movies of all times” lists. There are also subtle many subtle references to Alfred Htitchcock and Stanley Kubrick among others. (first watch: Apr 30th, 2022)
Zodiac | David Fincher | 2007

Yet another Fincher classic. Suspenseful right from the first shot up until the end. Leaves the viewer pondering, with that lingering aftertaste of an incomplete, yet perfectly told story. Much to be learned from Fincher. (first watch: Apr 14th, 2022)
Sen Yasamaya Bak (In Good Hands) | Ketche | 2022

I guess this was my first exploration of Turkish cinema. Okay. (first watch: Apr 2nd, 2022)
Chungking Express | Wong Kar-wai | 1994

Someone rightfully said on an online review that “You will like Chungking Express if you like films.” Loved the cinematography especially those artsy shots. Also, the soundtrack is nice. (first watch: Mar 31, 2021)
In the Mood for Love | Wong Kar-wai | 2000

After I finished the movie, I had this intense want to re-watch the movie again. It’s that good. Great story, brilliant cinematography, acting op, soundtrack. I think it all fits in quite well. (first watch: Mar 30th, 2022)
Spider Man: No way Home | Jon Watts | 2021

Great post-production. Storyline sets the backdrop for Multiverse of Madness. Digged the action sequences. (first watch: Mar 28th, 2022)
Licorice Pizza | P. T. Anderson | 2021

LP is a coming-of-age love story set in the 80s. It chronicles the ups and downs in the relationship of a 25yr old girl with a 15yr old boy and follows both as they seek out their meaning and place in life, the boy involved in petty teenage activities while the girl matured and more pragmatic in her approach to life. Their huge age difference formed a major factor as to how they approached their relationship and most of the movie revolved how they “worked it out”. Relatively sparse, quirky events, and a tad bit long, I felt it was a movie designed to pass time. (first watch: Mar 12th, 2022)
A Walk to Remember | Adam Shankman | 2002

Just timepass. Okay. I need to diversify my list! (first watch: Mar 5th, 2022)
Endless Love | Shana Feste | 2014

I think I just needed some pre-majors cinematic recharge and this movie fitted the bill perfectly. No excessive mental overhead, no complex characters to analyse, or exceptional plots. The kind of romantic mushy love-found-lost-found teenage love story that makes you excessively giddy. Yeah, cute story. (first watch: Mar 3rd, 2022)
The Worst Person in the World | Joachim Trier | 2021

Stunning Norway! Each frame is so well-crafted. And then, the superb writing and the performances by Renate Reinsve and Anders Danielsen. Had a great time. (first watch: Feb 18th, 2022)
Deep Throat | Gerard Damiano | 1972

My eyes. My eyes! MY EYES!! What a terrible day to have eyes. (first watch: Feb 16, 2022)
Sex Education | Season 3| 2021

Highly entertaining and thoughtful. Felt like a drag at places. But it ended on another cliffhanger :/
Damage | Louis Malle | 1992

A tale of unbridled passion on the part of an ultra-rich minister coerces him to lose everything he had. Frankly, the plot was too single dimensional and lacking dynamics. Watched it only for Jeremy Irons and Juliette Binoche ❤️. (first watch: Feb 10, 2022)
Friends: The reunion | 2021

It was everything I expected it to be and more. It was hilarious to know these funny, little trivia and BTSs. And nostalgic, of course. (first watch: Feb 5th, 2022)
Paris vu par (Six in Paris) | | 1965

I have taken to French cinema lately and it has been a rewarding experience so far. The movie at hand is an amalgamation of six different stories directed by six different directors, all capturing the spirit of the beautiful city of Paris. Stories of love, deceit, drama, humor, and even death. The plots are varied and wholesome. Worth rewatching just for the Parisian shots and the language. ❤️ (first watch: Feb 3rd, 2022)
Won’t You be my Neighbor? | Morgan Neville | 2018

“Always know that you’re loved and are capable of loving”. I really needed to hear that right now. This is a documentary about Fred Rogers, a minister-to-be from Pittsburg, who by a turn of events got into television which was booming in the 60s. He wrote, produced, and directed “Mr. Rogers’ Neighborhood”, a TV program directed at young children. Mr. Rogers’ incredible understanding of child psychology coupled with his minsiterial training allowed him to present really sensitive issues like death, validation, and even divorce to young children. I really, really enjoyed getting to know this ambitious and noble man. PS: This was on my list for a very long time. (first watch: Feb 1st, 2022)
Sex Education | Season 2 | 2021

It is what it says on the tin but in a manner that is appealing to today’s teenagers. It breaks the tradition, cliched (and cringed?) pedagogy of sex education and educates us subtly while concealing behind a teenage drama. Impressive and ingenious. Looking forward to season 3.
Special Ops | Season 1

Watched with wingmates in hostel. Entertaining.
Life in a Day | Ridley Scott and Kevin McDonald | 2010

Part of a course assignment but really heart-touching movie. People were asked to record a day of their lives in 2010 to record for posterity what it felt like to be alive in 2010. Found it slightly voyeuristic which is part of the appeal I guess. Novel idea. They also did 2020. It hits different the second time you watch it. (first watch: Jan 23rd, 2022)
Paprika | Satoshi Kon | 2006

It’s obvious that I’m a fan of Satoshi Kon’s works. I should have watched this waaay before but anyway. Recommended by a friend. I want to expand my cinematic knowledge to other cultures. BTW, there’s a 2021 documentary commemorating Kon’s works. Yaaay! PS: OMG, Susumu Hirasawa’s OST is so addicting! (first watch: Jan 22nd 2022)
Sex Education | Season 1 | 2021

Netflix production. Is it only me or does Emma Mackey has an uncanny resemblance to Margot Robbie? Anyway, I liked how teenage school dramas are becoming more inclusive. Good selection of songs, and pop culture refs. And now, I have made a sizeable addition to my British vocabulary :P.
Gladiator | Ridley Scott | 2000

Story of sacrifices, gallantry, bravery, and courage. Signature Ridley Scott. Majestic soundtrack by Hans Zimmer and co. Incredible performance by Russell Crowe. Thought I could pause midway but it was too riveting. Watched till 6 in the morning. (first watch: Jan 21st, 2022)
Friends | S10

All I can say is “Wow”. It has been an epic journey full of love and laughter. I learned so much and found so much. It has been an incredible experience.
Her | Spike Jonze | 2013

Explores the extremes of what it means to love someone. Asks interesting questions. Brilliant cinematography and incredible performances by Joaquin Phoenix and Scarlet Johannson. Didn’t disappoint. Found myself drawing haunting similarities with my life. (first watch: Jan 18th, 2022)
Edge of Tomorrow | Doug Liman | 2014

Post midnight movie with friends in the hostel. Interesting premise but solely for entertainment. (first watch: Jan 16th 2022)
Frances Ha | Noam Baumbach | 2012

Just the kind of movie you want to begin your year with. An innocent, “undateable” Frances, an indescribable friendship, artist’s apartment in New York ❤️, “All I have to show are my mistakes”, and Frances’ expectation out of a relationship monologue. I loved every aspect of it, really.

(first watch: Jan 10th, 2022)

2021

The Sky is Pink | Sonali Bose | 2019
Janat | Kunal Deshmukh | 2008
Enter the void | Gaspar Noe | 2009
The Dreamers | Bernando Bertolucci | 2003
The Grand Budapest Hotel | Wes Anderson | 2014
Summer of ‘42 | Robert Mulligan | 1971
Paris, Texas | Win Wenders | 1984
Shang Chi and The Legend of the Ten Rings | Destin Daniel Cretton | 2021
Paprika | Tinto Brass | 1991
No Country for Old Men | Ethan and Joel Coen | 2007
Ghost in the Shell | Mamuri Oshii | 1995
Venom | Ruben Fleischer | 2018
Dune | Denis Villenueve | 2021
Black Panther | Ryan Coogler | 2018
5 Centimeters per second | Makoto Shinkai | 2007
Squid Games | Series | 2021
Modern Times | Charlie Chaplin | 1936
It’s such a wonderful day | Don Hertzfeldt | 2012
Akira | Katsuhiro Otomo | 1988
Friends | Season 3
Clueless | Amy Heckerling | 1995
Catch me if you can | Steven Spielberg | 2002
Normal People | Series | 2020
The Shining | Stanley Kubrick | 1980
No Strings Attached | Ivan Reitman | 2011
Inside Job | Charles Ferguson | 2010
Good Will Hunting | Gus Van Sant | 1997
Whiplash | Damien Chazelle | 2014
Trois Couleurs: Rogue | Krzysztof Kieslowski |
Trois Couleurs: Blanc | Krzysztof Kieslowski |
Trois Couleurs: Blue | Krzysztof Kieslowski |
Stand By Me ||
Black Widow ||
Oceans Eleven ||
The Little Death ||
Crazy Stupid Love ||
My Neighbour Totoro | Hayao Miyazaki | 1988
Life is Beautiful ||
Baby Driver ||
Remember the Titans ||
Top Gun ||
Titanic | James Cameron | 1997
Making Dazed | | 2003
Dazed and Confused | Richard Linklater | 1993
It’s a Wonderful Life | Frank Capra | 1946
La La Land | Damein Chazelle | 2016
Your Name | | 2016
High Fidelity | | 2000
Friends | Series |
Sherlock | Series |
Perfect Blue | Satoshi Kon | 1997
Avengers: Endgame | Russo Brothers | 2019
Bruce Almighty || 2003
The Dark Knight Rises | Christopher Nolan | 2012
Dark | S2
Dark | S1
The Big Short || 2015
500 Days of Summer | | 2009
Pretty in Pink | | 1986
Memories of Murder || 2003
The Graduate || 1967
Scam 1992 | Series
American Beauty || 1999
Looking for Alaska | Series
Hackers | | 1995
One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest | Stanley Kubrick | 1975
The Map of Tiny Perfect Thing | | 2021
Chhichhore | | 2019
All the Bright Places || 2020
Gone Girl || 2014
Parasite || 2019
Before Midnight | Richard Linklater | 2013
Mean Girls || 2004
Ferris Bueller’s Day Off || 1986
Sixteen Candles ||1984
The Breakfast Club ||1985
Some Kind of Wonderful ||1987
Tron: Legacy || 2010
Tron ||1982
Bohemian Rhapsody ||2011
Moneyball ||2011
Before Sunset | Richard Linklater | 2004
Before Sunrise | Richard Linklater | 1995
The Dictator ||2012
The Wolf of Wall Street | Martin Scorcese | 2013
Amelie | | 2001
The Sixth Sense | | 1999
12 Monkeys || 1995
Marriage Story | 2019
Black Swan ||2010
Helvetica ||2007
The Fountain || 2004
Something Ventured ||2011
The Spectacular Now ||2013
10 Things I hate about you ||1999
The Lion King | | 1994
The White Tiger | | 2021
Terminator 2 || 1991
Terminator 1 || 1984
Jojo Rabbit | Taika Waititi | 2019

German Expressionism and its influence on Robert Weine

gs454236@gmail.com (Basil Labib) — Wed, 05 Apr 2023 18:37:25 +0530

Das Kabinett der Dr. Caligari (The Cabinet of Dr. Caligari) is a 1920 German thriller drama directed by Robert Weine and starring Werner Strauss as the eponymous character and Conrad Veidt as Cesare. Caligari is seen as the de facto standard of a peculiar period in German cinema christened German Expressionism. This new direction in German cinema was mostly an expression of a greater intellectual cum social movement called Expressionism - a cry against Impressionism and Naturalism but I’m getting ahead of myself. This post aims to investigate (to a considerable degree) the reasons for the emergence of Expressionism, its influence on German cinema with an emphasis on Caligari, and its legacy. In short, to figure out the big deal about it.

Conrad Veidt as Cesare in The cabinet of Dr. Caligari (1920)

What is Expressionism?

Any form of artistic or creative endeavour stems from the conscience of the artist. And this conscience comprises his/her experiences, apprehensions, or desires. Thus, it is imperative to start at the historical circumstances prevalent during that time to understand any given work. Accordingly, we’ll begin in the tumultuous decade of 1910-20 in war-torn Germany.

Germans were often critiqued (whether it was self-criticism, I don’t know) as the “race of poets and thinkers”. And truly, anyone looking at the sheer volume of intellectual and scientific output of the land beside the Rhine would be befuddled at the beginning of the twentieth century. Some of the greatest minds on the planet - Hegel, Schopenhauer, Nietzsche, Goethe, Einstein, Planck, etc. were Germans. The defeat in WW1 left the common man confused and humiliated. Not only had their long standing belief of exclusivity been broken but they have been left to deal with the outrageous clauses of the Treaty of Versailles. The German concept of Weltanschauung or their “world-view” has been compromised. To make the matters worse, the war indemnity was causing inflation and widespread poverty. The German youth found itself in a crisis - hungry, unemployed, and confused.

Among all this chaos, a new school of thought was emerging. One that borrowed, quite subtly, from “mysticism and magic” - ideas that are known to appeal to the Germans. It held itself in contrast to the prevailing philosophies of Impressionism and Naturalism. Impressionists saw the world as lively and splendid, they believed in the blossoming diversity of objects. The Naturalists believed in the originality of the world and representing it as it is in forms of media and art. They rejoiced in the apparent exhibition of objects and emotions. Edschmind defined Expressionism in his Uber den Expressionismus in der Literatur, as “a reaction against the atom-splitting of Impressionism, which reflects the iridescent ambiguities, disquieting diversity, and ephemeral hues of nature”.

Individualism vs Non-individualism

The titular character of Caligari.

Individualism referred to paying attention to the petty logic of day-to-day causality. An individualist would be concerned about the apparent tendency of objects and environments and would be satisfied with it. An Expressionist, on the other hand, would believe that reality is created in them and the “world-image” exists solely in them. They can question, inspect, and suspect the world and yet, the truth would be a projection of everything in their mind. Now, how does it matter? A personal interpretation goes like this - taken with abhorrence towards individualism, I think the idea of expressionism stands too grand and ambitious. It is because once the expressionist understands that the outside reality can be wholly rejected, they can begin to realise unimagined realities and eventually turn those inspirations and thoughts into the “reality”.

Expressionistic ideas were radical for some people (as has always been the case with the introduction of some new idea). Interpreting non-individualism as being anti-materialistic and thus, by extension, anti-bourgeois, the first group of Expressionists combined Expressionism with intellectualism. They were headed by Franz Pfemfert and called themselves Aktion (the ones to take action). The second group was more visceral in its mode of expression and believed in “visions” to guide their creative outputs. This group, called Strum (storm), ws headed by Herwart Walden .

The Expressionists believed in “dynamism” and movement. They were concerned with the dynamism of energies, thoughts, and conveniently of objects as they nicely lent themselves to expression on the screen. The Expressionists rejected paying attention to petty social ambitions and condemned conformism and compliance.

The Expressionists were nicknamed “apocalyptic adolescents” for their love for youth and abhorrence towards old people in sync with their greater philosophy of non-conformism. I believe there is a seed for juvenile angst somewhere there and this attitude would lend itself very well in cultivating an original form of expression and as mentioned before “to imagine unimagined realities” which would not be the case if one refuses to question and walk the uncharted path. At the same time, by its very nature, this would lead to more mistakes and destruction through the process. Both have their pros and cons but given the state of German youth and the intense need to make sense of the confusion, it was only imperative that this idea would find a wider audience. Acclaimed works from that era seem to bring this non-conformism and tension between the ages such as Metamorphosis and The Judgement by Franz Kafka, Werfel’s Vater und Sohn, Der Sohn by Hasenclever, and Vatermord by Bronnen.

In general, Expressionists put emphasis on the metaphysical such as psychic events, ghosts, and nightmares.

Rise of Expressionism in German Cinema

Cesare kidnaps the girl.

The reasons for the flourishing of the German Cinema are opposite to what lead to the popularisation of the French New Wave. Rather than a retort to the increasing American dominance in French cinema as a result of globalisation, German cinema proliferated as a result of opening the German markets to the world. As Germany began exporting its films overseas post WW1, the revenue and reputation provided the impetus for the evolution of a new style of cinema.

The decade beginning 1910 was a period of carefree attitude among the German youth as inflation was on a steady roll and people finding more money became more prodigal. Expressionism was capturing the attention of promising young minds and thus, the German filmmakers were faced with the question of expressing Expressionism on the moving image. The contemporary German found insanity and horror relatable because it called out to the horrors of war and humiliation on a global scale which was nothing short of a traumatising nightmare for many Germans. The usage of oblique shapes and chiaroscuro or lights and shadow gave a ghastly appearance to the films of this period. Music morphed from the symphonies to disturbing staccatos that seemed to claw the soul rather than relieve it.

The plot of Caligari is essentially a thriller of the highest calibre. The opening shot shows one distressed man recounting a past experience to an elderly man who is confused. At the risk of spoiling the film for you (if you haven’t watched it), we come full circle at the end of the movie and it is revealed that both men are, in fact, in an asylum. What horrible thing must have happened to them that has turned them insane? The suspense and fear is held till the last shot of the film.

But what is the meaning of Caligari? Can we provide a justification to the actions of the titular character? Who is Caligari? What does he stand for? Who is Cesare, his accomplice? Unsurprisingly, there are many interpretations and I present just one of them here. Dr. Caligari, the asylum owner, represents the vicious dominating force that wishes to control and manipulate everything around it. The ambitious and volatile German spirit of ignoring all advice and fail-safes and to adhere to an idea, however absurd, radical, or destructive (as it is in this case). Perhaps, this is best captured by the timeless phrase:

“I must become Caligari!”

The movie explores themes of identity and spiritual possession as shown by the overpowering of the asylum owner and his gradual transition into becoming Caligari. On the other hand, there is Cesare, the somnambulist who is summoned by Caligari to commit murders while he’s asleep! As noted, Expressionist films appeal to the inner, darker conscience of humanity. Caligari explores the metaphysical and romances with the paranormal.

In spite of Germany’s obsession with the paranormal, the story was deemed too radical to be shown as a narrative. Hence, it was shot as a frame story (where someone starts recounting a past experience) to provide an interpretation that the narration was simply gibberish from the ravaged mind of a lunatic.

SET DESIGN OF CALIGARI

A commentary of German expressionism must not be concluded without making a note of the set design. Long hours of deliberation and meticulous attention to details augmented the truly horrific images that Expressionist films are known to conjure in the mind of the modern movie-goer. Attempts were made to shock and terrorise. Dynamism is employed amply to give the expression of constantly morphing landscapes and architecture. Disfigurement is another idea repeatedly invoked to create disturbing images that stay with the viewer for a longer time.

Caligari is a fine example of distortions and dynamism. The village fair shot is essentially a painting drawn on a canvas but the dark, twisted, and swirling towns with the roofs like flames rising towards the sky, gives the expression of an ominous town. It seems like the horrifying remains of a misshapen nightmare. Another great example is seen in the prison cell where the innocent petty thief has been arrested. The towering white stripes drawn on the walls all converge to the centre of the room where the chained prisoner is seated with a disgruntled look. Town streets, rooftops, windows, and doors, nothing seemed to be aligned on purpose. Perhaps, the rooftop shot of Cesare kidnapping the girl and walking over the zig-zag rooftop is the consolidating image for the film.

It should not be assumed that Caligari is the best expression of Expressionism because as much as it is hated, there is a constant battle between the director and the producer over accounts and budgeting. It seems like Caligari, being as ambitious as it is, couldn’t escape this fate either. There are gaps and glitches where the “Expressionist” nightmare is broken. Perhaps, the reader will be reminded of the image of the asylum itself, with its pristine Victorian architecture.

CONCLUSION

This has undoubtedly been a long (and perhaps, boring) post. This was also a challenge for me to research along with my schedule but I hope I have managed to give you a flavour of what Expressionism is all about and why Caligari is so “great”. And if not, then, perhaps, ignited a curiosity in you to learn more. This post began with examining the historical context in which Expressionism was born as a movement and its ideals. Then, we moved to the influence of Expressionism on German cinema with an emphasis on the film The Cabinet of Dr. Caligari and finally dissected various interpretations, aspects, and elements of the film.

REFERENCES AND ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS

Eisner, H. Lotte, et. al: The Haunted House (2008)

All images belong to the respective owner and none to the author.

Playing God: Making sense of CRISPR

gs454236@gmail.com (Basil Labib) — Wed, 22 Feb 2023 16:29:20 +0530

Abstract

Imagine standing on a long corridor with closed doors that stretches to infinity on both ends. One keeps walking along and knocking on each door, maybe trying to pick the lock, peeping through the keyhole, or even trying to break in. But the process is tiresome and hopeless. And yet once in a while, someone manages to open a door and view a world they have never imagined. The story of scientific innovation is roughly similar to the story of the endless corridor.

In 2015, Junjiu Huang and co. at the Sun Yat-Sen university in China modified the gene responsible for beta-thalassaemia , a genetic blood disorder leading to anaemia, in non-viable embryos. Through this experiment, they had opened a new door - a door that led to a utopia of a disease-free humanity and, if I get ahead of myself, of “designer” humans and GMOs.

In this post, we’ll dive deep into CRISPR, the gene-editing tool that has taken the world by storm. The focus of this post will be on the technology rather than the social, political, or governance fallout of the tool. Previous understanding of genetics and biochemistry is recommended.

Adaptive immunity and CRISPR

Adaptive Immunity System in bacteria and archaea, stage 1

Adaptive Immunity System in bacteria and archaea, stage 2

Biological systems are known to be highly resilient towards a changing environment and this resilience stems from their ability to adapt quickly to changing environmental parameters. Bacteria and archaea protect themselves from viruses and plasmids by an adaptive immunity system. The crux of the mechanism is based on recording the genomic fingerprint of the intruder and to deploy proteins that splice future invaders based on the “memory” that it has developed over time. Short sequences of the invader’s genome are integrated into the bacteria or archaea’s genome. These short sequences are called Clustered Regulatory Interspaced Short Palindromic Repeats or CRISPR. These sequences along with CRISPR-associated proteins or Cas proteins form the machinery that enables this feature.

The CRISPR locus have two types of sequences, a highly variable region, called spacer, that constantly gets updated with new incoming invader genomic data and non-contiguous repeat sequences that separate them. Upon transcription, this stretch of DNA is expressed as a special RNA sequence called crRNA (CRISPR RNA) which doesn’t undergo translation but serves as activation director for Cas proteins. The crRNA enabled Cas9 is, then, able to bind to DNA sequences that are complementary to the crRNA and cleave them. The degradation of the foreign DNA renders the attack void and thus, immunity is gained.

CRISPR-Cas9 system: How it works

Block diagram showing the pathway of the crRNA

The interplay between CRISPR and Cas proteins that impart immunity to the bacteria/archaea. Three different types of CRISPR-Cas systems have been identified by researchers: Type I, Type II, and Type III. All systems differ in their exact mechanism to generate crRNA and Cas proteins and eventually catalyse the cleavage of DNA. Our focus will be to understand Type II systems owing to their simplicity and adoption in gene-editing. It uses a single Cas protein called Cas9 and two RNA components. We have met one of these components namely crRNA. The other component is transcribed from a locus upstream of the CRISPR locus on the mother sequence. This sequence is called trans-activating CRISPR RNA (tracrRNA). The tracrRNA has a region complementary to the repeat region of the CRISPR locus and thus can bind to the transcribed crRNA (I’m simplifying details here as there’s something called a pre-crRNA which undergoes epigenetic modifications). The double stranded RNA (tracrRNA and crRNA) undergoes cleavage by a RNA nuclease called RNAIII and the crRNA-tracrRNA complex binds with a Cas9 protein to form a ribonucleo-protein (RNP) complex.

The Cas9 protein can be termed as an RNA-activated endonuclease as it can specifically cleaves DNA that are complementary to the associated crRNA strand. The Cas9 looks for spots along the invading DNA sequence after binding to regions on the invading plasmid DNA called a Proto-spacer Adjacent Motif or PAMs. There are different PAM sites associated with different Cas9 proteins. For example: S. pyogenes Cas9 (SpCas9) recognises a 5’-NGG-3’ PAM site and it is most commonly used for gene editing. Finding different Cas9 proteins to attach to different PAM sites gives the geneticist a versatile toolkit and increases the efficiency of the editing but we’ll get to that later.

In the case of SpCas9, two arginine residues bind to the guanine nucleobase on the PAM site (the two GG from NGG and N could be any nucleotide base). This interaction positions the phosphate of the DNA backbone to a phosphate-lock loop on the Cas9 and facilitates DNA unwinding. After unwinding, the crRNA forms a RNA-DNA hybrid called an R loop and then cleavage occurs. There are two domains on the Cas9 namely: HNH and RuvC-like. They individually nick one strand of the DNA resulting in a double strand break. The HNH nicks the strand complementary to the crRNA and RuvC-like nicks the other strand. This cleavage happens 3 base pairs (bp) upstream of the PAM site in case of SpCas9. As the cleavage is successful, the invading DNA is rendered harmless as it cannot be expressed effectively anymore.

DNA repairs and motivation for editing

Homology-Directed Repair

DNA-RNA systems are highly versatile and robust. In response to a Cas9-induced double break, the organism employs machinery to repair the DNA. There are two types of DNA repair - Non-Homologous End Joining (NHEJ) and Homology-Directed Repair (HDR). NHEJ can be either canonical NHEJ (c-NHEJ) where the two ends are simply “glued” back together or alternative NHEJ (alt-NHEJ) where each strand is cut out to repair the damage. Both these pathways are highly error-prone resulting in unintentional insertions and deletions.

On the other hand, if there is a complementary DNA strand nearby the double break, the homologous DNA can easily bind to repair the break. This is the Homology-Directed Repair pathway. HDR is exploited to introduce engineered sequences into the genome by making the edited strand available near a double break. Thus, to edit a gene, we need to make a cleavage at the desired location which is achieved by the CRISPR-Cas9 duo by making sure the crRNA is transcribed and RNP complex is formed. Further, we check for the availability of a PAM site near the point of interest and finally, to make sure that the engineered strand is available during repair.

A lot of research and study has gone (and is still going) into the role and importance of the various machinery involved in gene editing. The tracrRNA seems to be important for DNA cleavage by Cas9. Additionally, instead of introducing separate tracrRNA and crRNA, researchers can introduce a single guide RNA or sgRNA. This reduces the number of components involved and makes the process simpler.

Steps of a gene edit

Let us investigate the steps needed for an edit in greater detail. The process can be divided into roughly three steps:

The selection of a suitable target and guide.
Introduction of CRISPR-Cas9 and template DNA components into the organism.
Identification of the mutation.

Target Selection

In the case of SpCas9, there is a 20-nucleotide sequence of guide RNA adjacent to the PAM site, 5’-NGG-3’. For best results, the PAM site should be as close as possible to the mutation locus. In fact, the efficiency for a mutation is inversely correlated to the number of base pairs from a PAM site. This is important because if the specificity of the target is not sufficient then the Cas9 can bind to other off-target regions and splice at unintentional locus resulting in edits that we don’t want. Factors that affect RNA efficiency is an active area of research in CRISPR research today. For example: the presence of purine bases (G or A) at the 3’ end of the 20-nucleotide guide is known to increase efficiency.

Introduction of different components

Cleavage of DNA by Cas9

There are primarily three forms in which we can introduce the components:

DNA form

In this pathway, we have to introduce the DNA sequences for sgRNA and Cas9 protein. The point being that we wholly rely on the translation and transcription facilities of the cell for the production of Cas9 protein and sgRNA. Now, as the Cas9 DNA is transcribed into its complementary mRNA, the presence of appropriate 3’ and 5’ untranslated regions (UTR) is ensured for successful translation into the protein. Lastly, a promoter must also be present upstream of the transcription site to bind a RNA polymerase. A promoter must also be present for the transcription of the sgRNA sequence by RNA polymerase III, which is a polymerase which specialises in the expression of ribosomal RNAs and tRNAs. Note that the ultimate product of the sgRNA pathway is RNA and not protein.

RNA

Instead of depending wholly on the cell to produce the required components for an edit, we can ease the burden by synthesising few components outside the cellular system. In this pathway, we introduce sgRNA and mRNA encoding Cas9 instead of DNAs for the same. However, the mRNA needs to be modified post transcription with a 5’ cap and a 3’ poly-A tail.

RNP/Protein complexes

Following the same theme, we can synthesise Cas9 itself and introduce the Cas9 complexed with tracrRNA and crRNA as the RNP complex entity. This pathway is ideal if we do not have the requirement to optimise for the species-specific UTRs and promoters. However, the purification of the protein and complexing in-vitro increases the cost of introduction of the components.

Identification of the genetic mutation

The efficacy of gene editing can only be determined if we are able to identify the desired mutation in the target genome. Identification of genetic modification is a significant bottleneck in the modern CRISPR workflow. There are two types of methods:

Screening
Selection

Screening

In screening for a specific phenotype, one can screen for the corresponding molecular change as a result of the edit. One particular assay is called restriction fragment length polymorphisms (RFLP) analysis. The idea being that the region of interest after a mutation is amplified by PCR and then treated with a restriction endonuclease which cuts a specific DNA sequence. If the enzyme is able to cut, then we still have the unmutated sequence and there is no edit and vice-versa. The DNA fragments can easily be visualised by gel electrophoresis.

However, one disadvantage is that the mutation itself can create another restriction site. There are other endonuclease-based assays such as CEL1 and bacterial T7 endonuclease that recognise and cleave single bases. They have the advantage that they do not rely on creation or destruction of restriction sites. But this process requires a large number of candidates and is thus time consuming.

Selection

Selection relies on the fact that lethal template DNA would kill the cells but the ones with the mutation will not be killed. So, a drug-resistant edit is achieved in the cells with a successful splice whereas other cells are killed by the introduction of the HDR template strand.

Variations of the core CRISPR-Cas9 model

Expression of Green Fluorescent Protein (GFP) in lab mice

In this section, let us look at other exciting applications of the CRISPR-Cas9 system. The CRISPR gene editing technique derives its utility from the specificity of the Cas9 incision. Now, we can increase the specificity of a particular cut by randomly deactivating one of the domains of the Cas9 protein. In this case, Cas9 proteins are only capable of nicking one strand on their own and it would require two Cas9 proteins to make a double strand break. This increases specificity and protects against unintentional splicing.

Another point of interest is the PAM site and its essential presence for the Cas9 to bind. Researchers are looking at other proteins that bind to different regions - one such candidate is Cpf1, which recognises T-rich PAM sites and cuts at a 5’ overhang resulting in a protruding ragged end. This increases the robustness of the process as biologists can now target AT rich sites as well.

Specificity of the CRISPR-Cas9 systems allows gene editing to be successful but the splicing is only the second step of the process of correctly identifying a sequence of interest. If we can deactivate the Cas9 proteins (called dCas9 in the business), and load a custom domain on the Cas9 then we can achieve more varied operations at a particular locus of interest. It’s like having an operating table running along the DNA strand. For example, if we fuse the dCas9 with a domain that represses transcription then we effectively silence the expression of the targeted genes. If the payload is a promoter, then we can activate transcription at the targeted site. We can introduce epigenetics modifiers such as methylators or histone modifying enzymes, all of which modulate transcription at the target site. A fluorescent protein called Green Fluorescent Protein (GFP), derived from jellyfish, has been attached as payload to the dCas9 and used to visualise target genomic sequences complementary to the sgRNA.

Conclusion and ethical concerns

We have certainly come a long way from where we started. If I have been able to even give you a gist of what CRISPR is, then I consider this post a success. All errors and bad explanations are my fault. We began this post with the chronicle of the Chinese scientists who eliminated beta-thalassaemia from non-viable human embryos. Under very close regulation, another research group edited heterozygous embryos for a mutation in the MYBPC3 gene using CRISPR. This mutation resulted in hypertrophic cardiomyopathy, which can cause sudden death.

We have unlocked a truly novel technology, one that allows us to reach out and rewrite who we are but at the same time, we are also accountable for what we do. I guess that is the price we pay for knowledge.

References and Acknowledgements

Molecular Biology at the Cutting Edge: A Review of CRISPR/Cas9 Gene editing for undergraduates - Thurtle, Schmidt, Lo, et. al.
GCR Biosecurity curriculum: Biosecurity Fundamentals
Homology-Directed Repair animation video - Oxford Academics on YouTube

Prometheus Unleashed: Making sense of information hazards

gs454236@gmail.com (Basil Labib) — Wed, 15 Feb 2023 11:18:29 +0530

Intro

As part of my research into global existential risks, I came across the conundrum of information hazard which simply refers to the potential misuse of scientific or technological information by bad actors that might turn into a global risk for everyone.

This phenomenon is most aggravated in the field of biotechnological research where misuse of increasingly openly available genomic data or cheaper protein synthesis techniques can easily be used to develop and mass-produce humanity-threatening super-pathogens (“super” referring to immunity against all known forms of human cure). This is a particularly interesting conundrum as the fine line between openness and secrecy governs the difference between better scientific research and global catastrophe.

It is easy to say that all biotech information and research generated should be classified by labs around the world. But this conservative approach would turn dry the flow of useful information and data that is so important to inspire and facilitate future research. Although this approach guarantees safeguard against information hazard, it also means the end of all future scientific research and technological innovation. Such a scenario will leave humanity helpless in the face of attack by a naturally emerged pathogen.

On the other hand of the spectrum, completely free proliferation of potentially biohazardous information, if accessed by a malicious organisation or even a bad actor with the required expertise and material, can spell doom for humanity.

Thus, it can be concluded that the censorship on scientific information and data should lie somewhere in the grey of the spectrum. Where is that point?

The secrecy point question is more nuanced than it looks. For example, consider this scenario. A biotech lab publishes unsuspecting non-hazardous information. This information is accessed by a malicious group which was lacking some non-hazardous information to bring its “evil project” to fruition. In the light of the newly published (unsuspectful) data, it can now generate the required hazardous information it needs and bring its evil plan to life. Notably, this scenario is quite narrow (one can argue, if the malicious group has the resources to do independent R&D, then it can generate whatever information it needs independently. Or that such expertise is not known to be within the resource constraints of any known terrorist outfit). Sure, but what I’m trying to present is the subtleties and intricacies that surround such censorship and governance issues and truly calls for a departure from the binary of black and white approach taken by governance organisations today.

Case studies

The US government policies on dual-use research is solely restricted to work that fall under any of its seven classes of “experiments of concern” or if it involves a subset of organisms on the Federal Select Agent List. It is not hard to imagine that emerging research may not fall under this classification and yet be of catastrophic concern to humanity.

Or take this second scenario that seems to defy common sense. It is beneficial to publish easy-to-discover information hazardous research as it would benefit good actors and the publication of the work is indifferent for the bad actors as they would discover the information themselves sooner or later. This loudly opens a new can of worms by asking where to draw the line for “easy-to-discover”?

Moreover, keeping useful information hidden may lead to unintentional misuse of currently deployed technology or slowdown preventive measures in case of large-scale risks. An apt commentary on the reassessment to a publication concerning the identification of a subtype of the neurotoxic botulinum toxin reads as follows:

Although it is ethical to identify and mitigate DURC, it is also an ethical imperative to enable others to counter potential harm with good. With critical national security and public health at stake, it is unethical to impede research competitors for personal, professional, or commercial motives. Likewise, excessive government regulation is not helpful if it slows the progress of countermeasure development (Keim, 2016, p. 333).

Incentive games

There are various notorious and perverse incentive games at work too. Take for instance, the decry against biological weaponry in the Geneva protocol during WW2 which informed the Japanese of the potential utility of biological weapons and eventually inspired them to develop and use their own B-weapons (is this a word?). Incentives act on all levels of society. Scaling the academia ladder forces researchers to publish their work, unfortunately often bypassing ethics and common-sense, in order to be promoted or just receive funding. They are often left at the discretion of the policy-makers or fund dispensers who have little to no idea of the potential impact of the research (both good or bad).

The bigger picture

The progress of scientific and technological advancements are asking more existential questions than ever before and at a rate that is simply beyond the mental grasp of the common human and barely understood by a select few. Taking a meta look at the information hazard problem, it can be summarised as the inability to infer the intention of human beings. Take for instance, the open problem in security and blockchain dubbed the “Oracle problem” - which basically asks if it is possible to validate any information generated outside the chain by the chain itself. If one examines the question carefully (the leisure of which I do not exercise in this post), it would be apparent that the fundamental problem lies at the interface between the real world and its equivalent projection in the digital space. For eg: in web2, the identity of a person is closely tied to its account on some database. This abstraction worked because the proof that that person’s existence was guaranteed by some central authority. But with the elimination of the central authority, who backs the data? How do we even define identity in such a case? The premise for the abstraction breaks down. The authentication situation is not as dire as it looks as people are trying to find workarounds but I intend to present the bigger picture here.

Solutions?

So, we understand that this is an important issue. But what is the solution? To be honest, there doesn’t seem to be any fool-proof solution because the problem is on a different plane as noted in the previous paragraph. There are various suggestions such as assessing the bad (and good) impact of an information promulgation beforehand. Or consciously disclosing information in a way that benefits good actors while posing difficulty for bad actors to use it for malicious plans - “Security by obscurity”. Identification of entities who access a particular piece of information may be an option but I only see it eventually dwindling into authoritarian monopolistic control over the information as “someone” has to decide if the information should be made available to a particular entity or not.

Conclusion

In the timeless words of Dickens, I think this is “the best of times, the worst of times”, an exciting time to ask questions, a vibrant time for research,and an amazing time to be alive. The answers we give to ourselves in this century may potentially decide our fate.

Acknowledgements and References

Lewis, et. al - Information Hazards in Biotechnology, 2019

Modern Times: Where are we headed?

gs454236@gmail.com (Basil Labib) — Sun, 29 Jan 2023 13:56:37 +0530

sidenotes

Posting some of my silly drawings here because a good friend said I should so oh well! It’s painful to watch his blog go unnourished like this but I’m constrained by my physical limitations of being a human and being unable to transcend and/or manipulate the fourth dimension of time.

Enjoy the comic until next time!

Year in Books: 2022

gs454236@gmail.com (Basil Labib) — Thu, 05 Jan 2023 00:49:41 +0530

Fierce People | Dirk Wittenhorn

A good first read of the year. A thriller, romance, and coming-of-age novel all wrapped in one.

I’m glad I read the book before I’m going to watch the movie. I couldn’t put it down once I started. I wrote an in-depth post so I won’t bore you here.
Bright Lights, Big City | Jay McInerney

This book presents one of the most elucidated, explicit, and candid portrayals of eighties New York. The protagonist works at the Department of Factual Verification at a reputed magazine in NYC, has a beautiful model wife and lives a life of vain and vanity with his dramatic friend, Tad. But just when one begins to think he has achieved it all, his life begins to fall apart. The book explores the gray region of materialistic wants and possessions and how detached it is from what one truly seeks in life. PS: The peculiar narration perspective of the prose was slightly disorienting for me.
Kari | Amruta Patil

A poignant braindump enveloped in grosteque and charming visuals. Introspective, deep, and witty. Given the fact that I don’t read much graphic novels, this was a welcome change.

PS: Got recommended from a bookclub group. I’m allowing myself the freedom to change and that is important.
The Man Who Solved the Market | Gregory Zuckerman

A biographic narrative of Jim Simons, the mathematician who founded Renaissance Tech and kickstarted the quant revolution. His Medallion fund continues to be one of the greatest successes of investment trading. This is a thoroughly researched account doesn’t simply boast of the genius Simons deserves but also reveals his human side. How he managed employees and interacted with them. How he suffered two tragedies in his life when he lost two sons.

An extravagant spender, left-inclined rational who, in later life, focused his money into combating disease, math education, and space exploration. This is the story of how one man went against the odds and challenges and paved the way for a totally radical method of trading changing forever the face of investment trading.

Wow, this one took me more time than I expected, partially due to acad work and partially due to the biographical nature of the text. I wrote a post inspired by the book here .
When Breath Becomes Air | Paul Kalanithi

An autobiographical account of a neurosurgeon who succumbed to cancer. But to describe Paul as just any neurosurgeon is a grave underestimation of this inspiring and incredible man.

In his (sadly, only) work, he lays bare the working of his mind, his intelligent questions and his quest to find answers to them, his intimate thoughts during surgeries and diagnosis, his beliefs about mortality and life and faith and God. Through this book, one doesn’t simply read about a man who met an unfair fate, but of a truly inquisitive mind, equally versed in literature and medicine. One, who actively sought the company of great men, whose love for words shines through the eloquent prose. One who was deeply curious about death and mortality, and challenged death both as a healer and a patient.

Paul wrote, “You can’t ever reach perfection, but you can believe in an asymptote towards which you’re ceaselessly striving.”
One Day | David Nicholls

“One Day” by David Nicholls is a drama-romance novel with a refreshing premise. It examines the life of two individuals on a particular day each year from twenty-two years to forty years or so. It explores how life tends to play out in the real world with laughter and grief all muddle until at the end we are left with a bittersweet feeling of wanting to do more. It is a book about lost opportunities and seizing the moment and all that.

“The city had defeated her, just like they said it would. Like some overcrowded party, no-one had noticed her arrival, and no-one would notice if she left.”
~One Day, D. Nicholls

It has a romantic arc to it (of course) with two lovers in a confused state, unable to simultaneously be away and close to each other. Dexter Mayhew, the zany, cocky, and the “chaotic” against Emma Morley, the quiet, nerdy Northerner. Sample this, After living his youth through debauchery and disruption, Dex finally grows up: “An orgy won‘t care for you when you‘re old.” It ends bittersweet maybe as a homage to life itself with comments such as “You start out wanting to change the world through language, and end up thinking it‘s enough to tell a few good jokes.” I enjoyed it.

PS: This was on my list for a looong time. Well, can watch the movie now (finally!!). I don’t think this required a full post so here we are.
Algorithms to Live By | Brian Christian and Thomas L. Griffiths

An attempt to apply computer science concepts to solve real-life day-to-day problems. An thought-provoking book with a nicely curated list of CS concepts. Particularly liked the beginning chapters.

BUIDL: Hitching a ride on the web3 wagon

gs454236@gmail.com (Basil Labib) — Sun, 11 Dec 2022 09:28:14 +0530

ETHIndia 2022’ @Whitefield, BLR

Infinite Garden: a diverse ecosystem of individuals and organizations that build and grow alongside ethereum.

The Ethereum ecosystem, particularly the scaling L2 solutions are witnessing dramatic progress in terms of breakthroughs and innovation. The Infinite Garden is the phrase used to refer to the truly decentralized techno-haven where interaction between online entities are transparent and uncensored. Free from censorship, state control, fraud, and malicious agents, powered by the ecosystem of applications built on blockchains - in short, an information utopia. Personally, the idea seems enticing and inviting. But transitioning from web2 to web3 is a long way and the vision I outlined, although the shared vision of the people on the frontier of this revolution, is still a long, long way into the future.

I was fortunate to be part of the IITD contingent to ETHIndia 22’ hackathon conducted in Whitefield, Bengaluru from Dec 2nd to Dec 4th. In this post, I’ll try to examine the state of web3 in India, note my observations and experiences while interacting with people in the web3 space.

The Glass Fortress

First, let’s talk about obvious logistical differences between BLR and DEL. Bengaluru is blessed to have a moderate climate and very little pollution (something Delhites can pray for ;-;), especially owing to the number of natural parks and foliage that form an integral part of the city. I went on solo tripping around the city on 5th and 6th after the hackathon and was fortunate to explore Cubbon Park, a sprawling park right in the city center which also houses the Karnataka High Court, the State Library, and couple of other administrative institutions. Not to sound insensitive but Kannada names are so difficult to remember! I know it’s just about getting used to them but that’s the first impression. Funny I guess.

Bengaluru has been dubbed the “Silicon Valley” of India and the IT capital of the country. I think the second moniker fits the city more but the first nickname is catching fast. BLR is the city where the tech talent of the country resides. But note that most of these people are not building stuff for themselves but for others. India’s tech talent is mostly locked up in glass fortresses doing outsourced work for foreign MNCs. But as I said, this is changing fast and the young Bengaluru is home to some really cool experiments and ideas - all Made In India. For students like us, I think it is our responsibility to work on realising the first nickname rather than the second.

My impression of Bengaluru is perhaps conditioned because I had a argubly tiny observation period but for now it stands as this: A positive feedback loop between aggregation of tech talent of the country and money being poured by capitalism hungry VCs. Yes, it all looks pristine and shiny from the outside but to make that internal shift and change requires a collective effort that is still lacking. I used to believe there are pockets of innovation in India like the IITs but I’m saddened to realise (once I got into one) that the reality is quite different from what I perceived it to be.

But I don’t feel disheartened. There are pockets of extreme innovation and real value making in Bengaluru too. Like in any distribution, there would be a very small percentage of really good developers and dreamers and visionaries. I think they are out there. Polygon is a beautiful example of the same. The rest are simply trying to hitch a ride on the web3 wagon lest they find it long gone. After all, it’s the next “big thing”, right?

ETHIndia 2022

ETHIndia was my first offline hackathon experience and it has set a very high bar with which to compare future hackathons by. It was an amazing and energizing atmosphere with around 2000 hackers typing away at their keyboards and banging their heads on the tables 24X7. With atmost six hours of sleep in 36 hours (a personal best), my team comprising of sophomores, juniors, and seniors were able to conjure a decentralized content creator platform. The process was fraught with many blockers as it was our first web3 development experience. Given our expertise level, I’m very proud of what we pulled off. Here are the repos (frontend and contract ) if anyone is interested :P

I had a lighthearted conversation with Ashish, my friend and fellow teammate, about how we should be ditching corporate jobs for creating an open space office with bean bags and infinite food counters. I would personally like that :D

Solo tripping through the Garden City: A story in pictures

I am a planned traveller (or maybe I’m just discovering myself). In any case, I poured over Bengaluru travel guides, tweet feeds, and notion pages to chalk out the perfect two day solo vacation plan around Bengaluru. The results are quite impressive as I was able to pack in so much of the BLR experience in such a short time. Also, “Pete” means downtown in Kannada.

PS: I’m a big foodie too! Enjoy!

The (partial) team @ETHIndia 22'!

Glen’s Bakehouse; to satiate one’s sweet tooth :D

Church Street, perfect for partying and having a nightlife.

Bisi bele bath @Rameshwaram Cafe.

State Library at Cubbon Park; books <3

Ice cream @ Corner House is a must-try; just heavenly stuff.

Breakfast @ MTR. Try their Rava Idli, according to popular legend, they invented it.

Want more pictures? (Click me)

The ❇️ Rava Idli ❇️; so good I ended up having two of ’em :P

…presenting Death by Chocolate; a sinful, delectable, and evil ice cream mix; argh just too good :P

Upma @Rameshwaram Cafe

Dosa @Rameshwaram; like obviously

Vadas!

More Dosa :P (Man, am I gonna miss these in Delhi ;-;)

Idli!

Hehe :O

wink, wink

Champaca Bookstore and Cafe, an independent, woman-run cafe with an engaging atmosphere.

My team! From left, Ashish, Shivam, me, Anirudh, and Kavya

Bengaluru, the garden city!

Here are the guides if anyone needs:

DevFolio City Guide (Notion)
Ek Baar Banta Hai (Notion)
Twitter feed (Twitter)

Rant: I was still unable to visit a few places I had on my list such as HAL museum, Commercial St. and try out food at Meghana and Nagarjuna. Until next time :)

Marginal notes

My last entry was six months ago during endsem break of the last semester. I tried to write in between but you can imagine the kind of engagement and commitments that sophomore year at college demands. The Bengaluru trip was a happy incident and I’m glad I took the call. I observed and learnt many things.

On a personal level as a developer, the hackathon gave me perspective. It made me humbled and grounded. It was a revelationary experience to interact with people in the industry and to be aware of that body of brilliant developers and changemakers outside the confines of IITD.

Keep an eye for this space. I intend to write more in the break hopefully.

Thanks for tuning in, :)

À bout de souffle: The politics of Godard's debut feature

gs454236@gmail.com (Basil Labib) — Tue, 21 Jun 2022 10:38:04 +0530

Introduction

Art, by its very nature, challenges the status quo. It has the power, and I would argue, responsibility, to sway people to stand up against unjust and authoritarian regimes. It serves as the voice of the marginalised and the voiceless. The twentieth century philosopher Theodore Adorno famously said,

“All art is an uncommitted crime”.

~Theodore Adorno

The acclaimed Spanish painter, Pablo Picasso painted The Guernica as an expression of protest against war. Its explicit and ghastly imagery has been used in anti-war protests ever since. Or, take contemporary artist Banksy’s protest poster for Black Lives Matter which shows an American flag catching a fire by a vigil candle beside a framed photograph of an unknown person.

Paradoxically, the imaginatively free artist is a prisoner of their era. Their protest must be subtle, but potent for it must awaken the oppressed without awakening the oppressors. But to achieve this adroit mode of expression is a challenging task. The 1960s saw the French cinematic landscape waking up to an obtuse and blatant attack on their culture by the Americans — a cultural attack. In such a state of jeopardy, the burden fell on a group of young French film-makers to define a truly French style of making films.

Jean Luc-Godard , along with Truffant and Resnais pioneered this task and gifted the world, a new form of film-making; one completely detached from American roots and in glaring defiance of the conventional “acceptable” ways of filmmaking. Breathless (À bout de souffle) was Godard’s debut feature length film that took the world by storm and together with Truffant’s The 400 Blows and Resnais’ Hiroshima Mon Amour ushered what was to be christened the so-called “French New Wave” .

Jean-Luc Godard’s Breathless (1960)

If you watch Breathless for the first time, chances are that you will find it rather uninteresting. And yet, it is perplexing how it manages to end up on almost all influential “Top X movies list”. So, what’s the big deal about it, anyway? Just like a tourist whose appreciation for a monument is diminished because of a lack of sound grounding in the context, culture, and history of the place, it is difficult to convey what Breathless really stands for, if viewed superficially. This post is my attempt to note some and hopefully make my reader appreciate this genius tour de force.

Breathless was less of a movie and more of a symbol of protest. A rebuttal. A counter-attack. But to understand its significance is to first understand the time in which it appeared.

What was the French New Wave? What started it?

In 1946, an agreement was signed between American Secretary of State, James F. Brynes and Leon Blum, a representative for the French government, to wipe away France’s war debt by opening American markets to French consumers after France’s liberation from Nazi control. This agreement was called the Blum-Brynes Accords and it shaped the French culture at an astounding rate. This event triggered a chain of interesting events, the ushering in of the French New Wave movement being one of them.

By 1948, barely two years after the Blum-Brynes Accords, 222 American films populated French cinemas. This shocked French fimmakers because a meagre 89 French films were released that year and only 8 from other countries. The American economic upperhand was posing a serious threat to the identity and existence of French cinema and in turn, French culture. It was a wake-up call for French filmmakers, a call-to-action, if you will.

In such a setting, comes Breathless out of Godard’s mind, a product of envy after his friend Francois Truffaut won big at Cannes for “The 400 Blows”. It incorporated styles and techniques that were outrightly considered as “unsuited” for any kind of filmmaking by American directors. Crowther, a Times critic remarked of it, “sordid is really a mild word for its pile-up of gross indecencies.” And the infamous jump cuts to him were “pictorial cacophony.”

Plot

The plot is the classic noir staple of the 50s. A petty thief, Michel Poiccard (Jean-Paul Belmondo ) who is on the run for murdering a police officer and the subsequent chase through the streets of Paris, all the while accompanied by his American girlfriend Patricia Franchini (Jean Seaberg ). But this is where Breathless stops being any other noir film.

The Politics of Breathless

If we were to analyse characters in Breathless, it would be a relatively easy task. And yet one character would prove to be a real difficulty. Patricia. Indeed, it is Patricia and her relationship to Michel that provides dynamics to the main plot.

Who is Patricia? She doesn’t get shocked when she learns Michel is a murderer, rather helps him get away. She responds to the fact that she might be pregnant and Michel might be the father with an urgency that is unsettlingly lacking. Like a side conversation that slipped off. She smirks in a mysterious fashion when a writer at a lunch meeting talks about how he was about to bed a girl but missed it. She doesn’t protest Michel’s marriage status when she learns about it or even deters him from blatant eve-teasing on the streets. Patricia justifies her betrayal as a test of whether she loves Michel or not; a personal exercise, and not as a moral obligation. It is very difficult to imagine what she is thinking behind that pretty face. She is the central enigma of Breathless.

Scene with the colleague.

The character of Patricia can be understood through a political lens. At the climax, Patricia watches as Michel is gunned down. Patricia violates Michel’s love in the same way that Hollywood, with the help of the American government, violated French theaters. This came at a time when France was reeling from war debts and had to open its markets to American goods. It was obvious that France had an exploitative amicable bond with America. Godard cleverly disguised his personal political apprehensions in his art form so as not to “displease” his American counterparts.

For how then can one justify the fact that Michel idolizes Humphrey Bogart, an American actor and impersonates him throughout, complete with a dangling cigarette? There is a shot in the film where Michel stands directly below a large poster of Bogart for his film “The Harder They Fall (1956)” . The unnatural proportions of this shot are intentional; it is Godard teaching the budding filmmakers that to emulate the American lifestyle is to give in to an unoriginal and identity-less one. The French protagonist must stop mimicking and idolizing American actors and cultivate an identity of their own.

The crime noir plot itself, sits rather uncomfortably in the delicate streets of Paris; like a piece out of place. It was Godard’s idea of a fast-paced, car-chasing, glass-shattering thriller through the city of amour. Viewed through this prism then, Breathless is a parody of all classic American noir films made because Paris isn’t a noir location (or so we thought).

Godard intentionally breaks the pace of the film multiple times and we are immediately reminded of that 15-20 minute single-scene conversation between Michel and Patricia in Patricia’s room. A private conversation of a couple sharing their most intimate thoughts, the state of their relationship, kissing, having sex, casually smoking, laughing. Who would expect that in a “fast-paced, car-chasing, glass-shattering thriller”?

This is the cinematic equivalent of Galileo standing before the Inquisition and mumbling Eppur si muove, slapping his oppressors on their faces while they are unaware of it, all along.

Production

Almost a written rule, a film seldom ends up being what it was originally conceived as. The same is the case with Breathless.

“I realized that [Breathless] was not at all what I thought. I thought I had made a realistic film like Richard Quine’s Pushover, but it wasn’t that at all.

~Jean-Luc Godard

Godard debuted with Breathless and thus, didn’t have enough credibility to enjoy a full-fledged crew or even decent equipment. Breathless was shot with minimal equipment and a sparse crew. Godard was lucky to have Raoul Coutard, the cinematographer on his side, who provided various ingenious out-of-the-box solutions to the shooting. For example; he took a camera and rode on a wheelchair for a tracking shot because they couldn’t afford tracks. There is a beautiful medium full shot of Seaberg’s back as she walks through the Elysee-Champs peddling the NY Herald Tribune. Coutard preferred to maneuver the camera with hands although they were heavy. Breathless wanted to give us a feel of events and the French life unfolding naturally before our eyes. Godard breaks the fourth wall often and you might recall Patricia staring directly at the audience, mimicking that Bogart move and asking, “What does he mean, “want to puke”?”

Jump Cuts

It is customary (almost tradition) to talk of so-called “jump cuts” when one talks of Breathless. But as the Australian critic Jonathan Dawson puts it,

[The technique]… was a little more accidental than political.

~Jonathan Dawson, Australian critic

Godard wanted to reduce the runtime of the final footage and went ahead with a scissor, cutting anything that he found boring. This created an interesting motif; a glitch in the matrix. As Brunch laid down in his phenomenal essay, “In the Blink of an Eye”, a cut should represent either of the two motives:

Represent a motion within a context.
Represent a discernable shift in space, time or both.

The great (and obnoxious) thing about Godardian jump-cuts are that they sit somewhere in the middle of these two spectrums. Disorienting and unsettling, they represent the French filmmakers ready to throw away the American “rules” of filmmaking.

Jean Seaberg as Patricia Franchini in Breathless.

Legacy

I don’t want to bore you with a list of allocades or movie lists that features Breathless because they are only a web search away.

But imagine the transformation of the budding French filmmaker in 1960 as they walk out of the theater. A door of possibility must have opened for them, someone among them has stood up and led the way. It was, as often said before, a call-to-action. Breathless was a political statement and reinvigorated the French film culture, indeed, all of film culture as we see influences of Michel’s ragtag murderer in the likes of characters played by Pacino, Nicholson, Penn, and so on.

Even to this day, motifs from Breathless are used in contemporary movies and more explicitly, Breathless continues to be references and lives today in those films that care to notice.

Why is Breathless a work of genius?

Can a nation’s cultural identity be borrowed? Breathless is genius because in it Godard not only asks the question (or rather shows the imminent crisis to the audience) but provides a solution to that crisis in the medium itself. To break out of the American “conventional” style of filmmaking would be to emulate something like he did in Breathless, jump cuts and all. To truly cultivate an original French style of filmmaking. But Godard is walking a fine line here. To announce openly of a cultural independence from the American would be impossible. Because American economic dominance was a source of dissatisfaction for the French filmmakers as they quickly saw their livelihoods under attack by the American films flooding the French theaters.

So, what is Breathless? Breathless is an act of rebellion, a protest. It is an attempt to safeguard a nation’s culture, a political protest as much as it is avant-garde.

On the Margins

This is not a review. It’s an outpouring of my appreciation and respect rather than criticism that is known to devolve into hostility sometimmes. It is the sum of my desire to understand what’s the big deal anyway and finding something rewarding. An attempt to convey that satisfaction and a genuine solemn tribute.

A picture perfect Patricia against a Renoir.

References

How Jean-Luc Godard’s Breathless reinvented the movies - Slate.com.
Roger Ebert’s review of Breathless - Roger Ebert
Why French Classic Breathless is still a breath of fresh air - Scroll.in
KultureHub’s commentary on Breathless - KultureHub

Proofread by Mahima Mukherjee.

I am 20: Remembering India's youth

gs454236@gmail.com (Basil Labib) — Fri, 27 May 2022 14:30:10 +0530

In 1967, the Films Division of India produced a short documentary under director S.N.S. Sastry. The simple, 18-minute documentary titled “I am 20” depicts the lives of the Indian youths, their hopes, aspirations, and apprehensions. It captures the true spirit of the Indian mindset of the 60s, the multitude of visions and dreams and ambitions. For an Indian youth watching this documentary, it is very difficult not to be moved by it. It is this timeless quality engrained in this film that has garnered it the iconic status that it truly deserves.

A scene from ‘I am 20’, a 1967 documentary. PC: FDI

Originally, Mr. Sastry interviewed just about any Indian born on 15th Aug, 1947. This is an ingenious idea because who can give a more accurate description of India’s development after 20 years of independence than the youth? However, he was not convinced by the monotonous answers he received. In pursuit of intelligent answers, he interviewed IIT Bombay students as well. The final outcome of this improvisation is rather pleasing with a balanced mix of the India that was and the India that was to be.

As one progresses through the film, one cannot help but notice the stark differences that existed among individuals. Some of them overtly ambitious, some with a burning desire, some of them just prisoners of circumstances, some of them freewheeling, and some of them simply existing. The film is essentially a torch-bearer to the radical transformation that India was undergoing at that moment, capturing it in that delicate tango of the decrepit and poor and the ambitious and inquisitive. I love how well Sastry manages to pack so much and with such ingenuity into such a small space. Even within a limited canvas, he masterfully employs his medium to communicate his ideas effectively.

Direction And Cinematography

Sastry’s style unmistakably reminded me of Godard and more specifically Breathless, the 1960 Godard that started the New French movement. Influences also come from “I am 20”, a 1965 Soviet movie by Marlen Khutsiev, atleast on the title of the film. All that aside, just the idea of creating a film about the youth in a way that express their thoughts is so refreshing, like the director has stepped back to let the characters speak for themselves.

Take for example, sloppy montage shots of girls in skirts walking down a road highlights the fundamental transformation that the closed and orthodox Indian society was undergoing, finally breaking out of its slumber and opening up to the world, adopting the Western culture while respecting its own roots. A regiment of brilliant minds frothing with energy and a deep-seated selfless love for their country. Or consider the linear traversing shot of newborns in a hospital. Or the nicely executed contrast between shot of a nuclear reactor and steel plant with a labour relentlessly toiling in the sun. Any story of the modern India must include the downtrodden and the underprivileged. Sastry understood that very well.

Youths Of 1967

Let us spare a moment to talk about the youths too. There are no credits for the interviewees in the video but India in Pixels did an amazing job to track them down . The only person who names himself is Mr. T. N. Subramanian. A charming, articulate young man who concedes to being “talkative” and believes in the entitlement of his opinions. Through the film, he anchors the flow and gives a context to what India was becoming. It is this personal valuation of opinions that I believe the modern youth lacks or has lost in the trivialities and frivolities of modern amentities or circumstances (Yes, looking at you, social media :/). He wanted to go through the country with some money, a pad, tape recorder, and a camera and learn about the wealth that is India’s rich culture. Every dance, every song, every roadside conversation, every vernacular oozes India’s everlasting lust for inclusivity and diversity. It is funny how I have found a friend from the past.

A beautiful young girl is asked if she would marry by choice and listen to her confident and assured reply. Just before that, Sastry asks the same question to a tribal girl and listen to her reply. Extremely disheartened as I write this but that India is the present India. Vir Das was right when he talked of “two Indias”.

A Bengali student says that “The real indepence is the independence of the mind” and how it doesn’t matter much to him if, say, Pataudi scored a century. It is only if he could score one that he would find peace. It is this burning desire to do something and leave a mark that is so characteristic of the youth. There is a guy who talks about security and sitting in air-conditioned offices (and ends up doing completely opposite but far exciting things). That cracked me up, thinking how closely his views resonated with my parents/relatives. His case only goes on to show how undecided our lives are, even in the face of complete “control”.

Carefree romantic ideas such as the freewheeling and careless “film star” who will save money to make films. On a graver note, the educated girl is not shy to complain about rising instances of eve-teasing or talk about her hobbies and ambition while the girl from the village can’t remember her marriage because she was eight years old. We have to seriously ask ourselves the question: What have we done about it?

Concluding

The film is not only just a record of what was but also serves as a reminder to what we were. Youths of today can get inspired from the whole-hearted sincerity and ambition portrayed by the people in the film and better understand their role and responsibility in the current world scenario.

The modern youth enjoy a much safer and richer lifestyle than the previous generations but with economic and social freedom, they also have more serious and introspective responsibilities. The modern youth mustn’t squander time and work towards a inclusive and sustainable future for all.

On The Margins

I came across this video in a language course at university (NLN101) and was frankly quite impressed by it, the idea, execution and all. I thought it might be fun to write about it considering I haven’t, in a long time. Sincerest apologies to my readers but university is crushing. Oh, and watch the India In Pixels video for more trivia.

Watch it below

The Pillowman: Artistry in a totalitarian regime

gs454236@gmail.com (Basil Labib) — Tue, 08 Mar 2022 21:45:35 +0530

The Pillowman, Martin McDonagh, 2003

Introduction

Martin McDonagh’s “The Pillowman” is an enquiry into the freedom of an artist in an oppressive totalitarian regime. Katurian, a writer, is interrogated by two brute and somewhat foppish policemen in custody about his role in the recent chain of children murders who were killed in ways elucidated by Katurian in his works. But what eventually unravels is Katurian’s own dark past, his dysfunctional family, and the character of his retarded brother whom he loves so much. Martin’s comment on the state of freedom of artistic expression is central piece as he sketches the life of a distressed writer whose sole outlet of chaos and insanity is through his pen, and who is prosecuted by the state for his artistic creativity. There are multiple thorny questions such as: Where should we draw the line for artistic expression and capital crime? How even to describe artistic expression? Is it okay for songwriters to openly use profanity or filmmakers to increasingly include explicit scenes of violence, brutality, and sexuality? What is reasonable and what isn’t?

Constructs and techniques

Pillowman is a short play consisting of only three acts with a total of 5 scenes. The majority of the play unfolds in a single interrogation room with a couple short scenes as flashbacks. The conversation between Katurian, the writer and presently the defendant, and the two policemen, Topleski and Ariel, leads the story as Martin introduces plots, subplots, imageries, and symbols (some of them pretty dark) through it. Undoubtedly, Katurian’s “stories” are a fantastic tool to analyse the writer himself and offer a window into his mind. Katurian’s fictional stories are the unifying element that links together and resolves other actions and events, particularly of his brother, Michal Katurian.

The papers didn’t say

The Kafkaesque authoritative state in which the unfortunate Katurian finds himself in, is disturbingly reminiscent of Orwell’s Big Brother. There is an undertone of an overpowering presence beyond the control of anybody willing to speak their hearts or minds out, Katurian being the representative of this class. He is brutally manhandled by the two policemen even when it’s obvious they are overstepping their respective roles and capacities. The effective quenching of mass media as is evident in the lines, “The papers didn’t say” and “Don’t believe everything you read in the papers”. The indication that the newspaper is the only channel for state information/news for the citizens is unwelcomed and concerning.

Katurian’s stories

Katurian’s stories are dark and poignant. Be it the story of the three gibbet crossroads wherein the third criminal couldn’t find out his supposedly heinous crime or the evil story of the applemen with their razor embedded craved applemen. Or the tale beside the river where Katurian offers a dark origin to the crippled boy in Pied Piper. Then, there is the absolutely villainous story of the little Jesus, the story of a little girl crucified by her foster parents or the controversial pillowman. Although all these stories are fantastic in their own rights, I personally liked the one with no child-killings; “The little green pig” wherein a group of farmers paint a green coloured pig pink for conformity with the other pigs. Later on, due to a special green rain all pigs turned green except for the pink pig because his paint was “unpaintoverable” (yes, I’m quoting), thus the uniqueness of the little green pig was sustained.

Bits and pieces

Pillowman is a great piece of work, worthy of study at multiple levels, from multiple perspectives. I, with my fairly limited literary rigor, can barely do justice to a work of fiction like The Pillowman. In this post, I have only attempted to cover this play’s impression on me. I was suggested this play by Upasak sir as part of prep for writing a script for interhostel short-film making competition.

The Quant Frenzy: A Crude Forecast

gs454236@gmail.com (Basil Labib) — Tue, 22 Feb 2022 17:45:24 +0530

What motivated this post?

Recently, I finished reading Gregory Zuckerman’s brilliantly researched book on the pioneering ultra-secretive quantitative investment firm Renaissance Technologies and its founder and mathematics prodigy, Jim Simons . It is an exhaustive and impressive account of a newer, data-driven, non-conservative approach to trading financial instruments. RenTec’s flagship hedge fund, Medallion, has averaged a mind-boggling 71.8% annual return, before fees, from 1994 to 2014. Medallion is considered a glaring example of a pioneering experiment that trounced skeptics and traditional investors who were smug about their intuitive abilities as traders and scoffed at the idea of letting computer programs decide the fate of the markets. Jim Simons has a net worth of 24+ billion USD today (Yes, you read that right).

Why Quant?

Jim pioneered a different way to think about the market. He shifted the focus from annual reports, economic indicators, and interviews with business employees – the whole “Get to know your company” shebang, an approach enthused by legendary “fundamental” investors like George Soros and Peter Lynch – to identifying statistically relevant patterns by diving into piles of data. He professed to treat the market as a rigid mathematical model with functions that affect variables in a complex manner. The essence of this approach is succintly captured by the following quote by Robert Mercer, a senior employee at RenTec, when he was asked by potential investors how the firm made money in 2007:

“So, we have a signal. Sometimes it tells us to buy Chrysler, sometimes it tells us to sell.”
~Robert Mercer

It may be noted that Chrysler was bought by a German car maker in 1998.

Leaving RenTec and its quirky activities, it’s obvious why quant is the cool kid on the block. Economic systems are driven by humans and humans are driven by deep-seated psychological beliefs. Our financial market is nothing but a cauldron of billions of belief systems colliding and coalescing.

Markets run after profit. No matter, the cost. This is the optimal way to survive in any agent-driven system. One have to be abreast with the latest technologies lest they get obliterated by their competitors. Economists have a fancy term for this – “creative destruction”.

What is happening?

Just as a fun exercise, I used to ask myself who or what would exercise power and authority in say, the 2050s? Arguably, with much limited understanding and knowledge back then, I came to the firm conclusion: “Data will be king”.

Fast-forward 2022 and I’m glad my guess is turning out to be correct. Data analytics is the basis of the future we’re building for ourselves and our progeny. Every action, every indirect decision will be captured, cleaned, processed, and analyzed (1). Corporations and firms will become hostile to each other in order to govern as much data as they can. Individual privacy will be stripped / reduced / outlawed where companies will compete and ponder to capture data in more innovative ways. It’s obvious we are already underway to such a future. The continuing frantic march of companies will continue until analytics reach their economic saturation that is, the point when everybody is access to information doesn’t make it unfair to other players (2).

Data analytics will move beyond just personalised marketing or petty targeted advertisements or customised healthcare or even newsfeed. Data will make people rich who will enjoy greater freedom to profess and/or impose their ideological and political beliefs on others. An apt example is Robert Mercer , who we have met before, a PhD in Computer Science, who helped bankrolled right Republican candidate Donald Trump’s campaign for the 2016 US Presidential elections. Imagine the political influence and power in the hands of an academic by training.

The recent Pegasus spyware uproare and the Cambridge Analytica fiasco which involved a data analysis firm infringing privacy rights by gathering personal information about Facebook users comes to memory when we think about how brutal and ruthless the system we’re a part of can degrade into.

What do people want?

Let me step back from the chaos and ask a simple question: What do people really want?

People want the ability to reliably and consistently forecast the future. This is the primary driving force for all “innovation” and schemes we encounter in any economic system, especially our financial markets.

Our economy grows when people are more productive. Economics, as I have mentioned before, is trying to figure out optimally how to dole out resources to individuals. More productive people produce more goods/services which can be, therefore, be allocated to others. The humble demand and supply principle. Platinum is expensive because there’s less of it. Cost is a human construct to decide who gets what and the token of transaction is, obviously, money – a convenient idea. Imagine if we discover a new oil field in India, that would quickly drive oil prices down because now we have more of it. People don’t (or more accurately, shouldn’t) seek money but the resources they make available.

Let’s run a fun thought experiment: Imagine in the (near?) future, a company started drilling diamond asteroids and importing them to Earth. Diamond prices will plunge. It would become a commodity rather than a scarcity. People will stop considered diamonds to be “valuable”. This is straightforward. But the interesting thing is people will find something else (preferably more scarce) to be considered valuable. The resource haven for ideal humans will be when everyone has enough of everything. But would that be the end? I say no.

What will people eventually want?

Even if we manage to get all the resources we ever need, we would need labour, assistance, and company. The actual holy grail of humanity is not to be most productive but to engineer entities that can. Truly Artifical Intelligence, a self-sustaining artificial system having cognitive abilities approaching ours is the ultimate goal of humanity. The Information Revolution laid the foundation of a society where repetitive work is delegated to computer programs. Although Simons’ money-making program, the Google assistant speech-recognition program, AlphaGo, and a thousand others are impressive in their ingenuity, none comes close to what human will eventually seek.

What is the future?

It’s the best possible time to be alive, when almost everything you thought you knew is wrong.

~Tom Stoppard, Arcadia

We started out talking about the so-called quant revolution and ended up touching policy-making, economy, and a bit of philosophy. But what is the future of quant firms like RenTec?

I consider quants to be a “second-order value generation scheme”. I call it second-order because they depend on the existence of other economies for their relevance. RenTec was a pioneer and like all pioneers enjoyed the first mover advantage while risking their position. At the end, the people at Medallion were confident in their models and that showed. RenTec trounced all their competitors who were still reliant on “fundamental” methods of investing. They were sharks in a tank full of guppies. That’s my justification of Medallion’s mind-numbing performance. But it’s obvious, such returns won’t be consistent as competitors up their game and shift to data-driven trading practices. The system will eventually reach equilibrium when everyone would start using quantiative approach. Eventually, someone else would have a insight missed by their contemporaries leading to another “revolution”.

This is the pattern of humanity’s progression or more accurately, economic progression. This progression would continue in kinks, approaching autonomous systems until we achieve singularity.

On May 6, 2010, the DJIA plummeted one thousand points known as a “flash crash” and consequently recovered. The reason was singled out to be a bunch of computer-programmed trading firms. Computer programs are simply rigid instructions that have no stake whatsoever to the impact they have in the real world. So, as firms shift their focused to data-driven approaches, hiring computer scientists and mathematicians, and firing “fundamental” traders, I leave you to ponder this: How safe and rational is it to delegate all of our financial systems to number-crunching programs?

Footnotes

(1): Whether that’s a good thing or a bad thing is a different and moralistic and one that is beyond the scope of this article.

(2): “Equal access to data” sounds too utopic and unrealistic to me. Hence, this middleground.

The Minority

gs454236@gmail.com (Basil Labib) — Wed, 19 Jan 2022 09:28:23 +0530

This post should have come 20 days before, but I couldn’t gather the peace of mind to actually sit down and write it. But since 20 days have elapsed, let’s make it a narration of my experience so far at IITD.

I appeared for my first university minor exams, a new experience. I met seniors and club representatives and got myself involved in a small development project for Rendezvous, our institute’s cultural fest. I arranged for a bicycle from a senior and got it repaired from the shop yesterday. The Omicron variant is out at large, and the management is apprehensive of keeping students on campus. Most of my wingmates and friends have returned home. I just don’t feel like going home, that 24-hour journey, all the packing, I hate that. Besides, the Delhi cold is suiting my skin in a way (Although it’s too dry than I want it to be). As a result, I’m alone in my wing with few other boys, typing away at my laptop, looking out the window, and strumming the guitar I borrowed until mine arrives. No, but really, I like not having to make small talk with people, being disrupted doing something important, putting my thought into behaving.

I was sitting in my room studying calculus (my MTL100 quiz wasn’t particularly good) at New Year’s Eve. There was a knock at the door, and suddenly my friends bashed into my room. Now, I couldn’t say no to their proposition that we order something and wind down, and we ended up ordering pizza and stuff. But that isn’t the point. That night I discussed movies and pop culture with a friend from EE dept. and he remarked, “You’ll find yourself in the minority here.” And try as I could, I cannot get that remark out of my head. If I find myself in the minority here, is this the place for me? I couldn’t help but think, he’s right. I have found myself interacting with students who had to suppress every bit of creative enthusiasm they had only to clear the JEEs. I found myself detesting our education system. These are not stories one reads in newspapers; they are real people with real passions. I hope to find a reciprocative, amicable peer group here. Because I’m so fucking tired of being alone. There was a dialogue in the BBC series “Sherlock” by Benedict Cumberbatch, “The frailty of genius, John. It needs an audience.”

Fierce People: A riveting tale of deceit and drama

gs454236@gmail.com (Basil Labib) — Sat, 08 Jan 2022 19:19:38 +0530

Introduction

Although, I have encountered and internalized many teenaged male protagonists, from the meek Charlie from POBAW, to the valiant Tariq, to the quirky Holden Caulfield, Finn Earl, my latest discovery, refuses to be filed amongst them. He is the sixteen-year old protagonist of Dirk Wittenhorn’s 2002 novel “Fierce People” which is a coming-of-age story, a thriller, and a romance all wrapped in one. Although, there is so much going on between these pages and I have met so many memorable characters, it is invariably Finn’s transformation that is the central piece that effuses meaning to it all.

The plot revolves around a single mother and her teenaged son finding a patron in a multi-billionaire who offers them a glimpse into the lives of Vlyvalle’s ultra-rich circles. But as Finn peers deeper into the lives of these people, he discovers the darkness, dirt, and falsity of everyone. He realises they ain’t anymore different than the primitive Amazonian Yanomamo tribe who are capable off just two things: “fuck/kill”.

The book heavily references “Yanomano: The Fierce People” , a written account by anthropologist Napoleon Chagnon based on his on-field research amongst the Yanomamo. Finn’s father (who, by the way, never married his mother so Finn’s technically a bastard) is the overarching anthropological figure who Finn elucidates about but never actually meets.

Let’s get this straight: Finn’s fucked up. He’s a sixteen year old (fifteen when we first meet him) virgin bastard whose single mother fucks random strangers in an adjoining room whose walls are too thin to keep all the noises from him at night. He has never actually met his father. He never had proper friends. He is, in all sense of the word, a “loser”. But things take an interesting turn as they gradually work their way through the New Jersey aristocracy and the subsequent transformation that both of them undergo. The mere constrast of these two chracters with their “poor” selves can form an independent case study. Wittenhorn drops wistful niggets of wisdom along the way. Himself born and raised in a community not unresembling of Vlyvalle, he gives us a glimpse into the corrupted, dark world of the ultra-rich.

Maya-Finn romance

Fierce People (2005). Only decent scene to put here IMO.

And then, there’s Maya Langley. Madly in love with Finn for what reason I still haven’t figured out. To be honest, this subplot (because I’ll still treat it as one) is so well-developed that it can be called the main plot in it’s own right. Their romance is so spontaneous and true. Their conversations wholesome and unphony. The Yanomamo initiation scene on the island was intense and insanely adorable (I admit, I got intrigued by this very clip on YT from the movie adaptation). Though, of course, none of it changes the fact that Maya is a rich, spoiled kid who sets muskrat traps for poachers and gets islands and Land Rovers for bday presents. It doesn’t change the fact that she’s one of the Fierce People. One who likes to hear what she wants to hear, notwithstanding the truth. Their separation, the orchestrated lie (of which I’ll speak no further), the boarding schools of Le Rosey and St. Mark’s, Finn’s jump, Maya’s tattoo, and their eventual reunion at the Plaza in New York. As I come to think of it, I liked it all.

Pop culture references

This book is set in the 70s and as such has a lot of pop references of that glorious era and before. Someone on Twitter correctly pointed out how the 50s, 60s, 70s, 80s had a unique style and story, an indescribable personality to themselves that we can only read about in books, or listen to in songs, or watch in movies. The previous two decades has been one big piece of. . .nothingness. What has happened to us? Anyway, coming back to FP, you know how I adore learning about pop culture of bygone eras. Green Acres, Love Story featured against familiar entities like Barbara Streisand, Grace Kelly, Beatles, Jackie Kennedy. It was fun.

Characters & the rich mindset

All that stuff aside, what truly gives the novel its potency is the characters. It’s an infiltration by a masseuse and her son into the wild aristocracy of Vlyvalle and how they respond and react to events. It isn’t as simple as simple people think. It’s tangled and dark and most importantly, false. We get a good hard look into the cruel, barbaric, and graceless lives of these fierce people. Osborne wasn’t wrong when he claimed that “Yanomamo valley was Vlyvalle without the money”. The deconstruction of the rich mindset is a tricky business because we have so little data but this book is a good starting point. I never thought, I’d say that for a teenage novel.

Character of Finn Earl

I so so wish to write a sketch for Maya, Bryce, Osborne, and Finn’s mother Liz but hey, I’m in uni now and I have minors tomorrow.

I could relate to Finn’s vulnerability. I was amused by his fascination for 12 year old tribal tits and female skin but then, hey he’s fifteen and raised by a single mother. Since, he’s the narrator, it was quite fun relating to his first-person thought processes. Exceptionally paranoid for eg: Liz and Osborne suspicion, which, by the way, he rightly should be. Being busted for coke that he was buying for his mom was adorable. He’s also a pathological liar. A jerk to everybody. Most peoeple say it’s the age but then, I wasn’t a jerk. I was quite okay. Nasty to her mother which, IMO, was uncool but forgivable because his mother wasn’t some pious saint either. And all this before he got dumped into Vlyvalle, of course. Then, his gradual ascent into becoming a fierce person himself is another aspect of the fickleness of human nature but also, the ultimate conclusion that transformation’s ain’t overnight. In the end, Finn saves Bryce and proves that he isn’t like them after all. But is he? One cannot fully rest assure in this deduction and that uneasiness is riveting.

Conclusion

On a personal note, I thought my days of reading teenage novels were over. I stay away from those mushy romance novels that makes me puke. Pathetic waste of time. And honestly, I thought this was one of those. But I was so darn wrong. It’s so much more than that. And it’s good. I don’t mind reading coming-of-age stories like these. Perhaps, I’m trying to live in stories what I can’t in reality?

It was a good read. I remember being unable to put it down once I started. Recommended and revisitable.

Year in Books: 2021

gs454236@gmail.com (Basil Labib) — Wed, 05 Jan 2022 22:18:52 +0530

Abstract

The list of books I have read in 2021 along with thoughts and views on some of them. Enjoy!

Zero to One | Peter Thiel
Non-fiction, Startup, Essential, Vision, Principles
Rosemary’s baby | Ira Levine
Fiction, Fantasy, Witchcraft, Classic
Vivekananda’s Biography | Swami Nikhelananda
Non-fiction, Biography, Monk, Vedanta, Philosophy, Inspiration
The Three Body Problem | Cixin Liu
Fiction, Hard SF (science fiction), Contact, Classic
Transform your Habits | James Clear
Non-fiction, Psychology, Self-help, Habits, Short
The Almanack of Naval Ravikant | Eric Jorgenson (via Naval Ravikant)
Non-fiction, Life, Philosophy, Habits, Mental Models, Productivity, Wisdom
Design for Hackers | David Kadavy [more][2] and [more][3]
Non-fiction, Design, Beginner, Practical, Advice, Hacker, Product, Business
The Song of Achilles | Madeline Miller
Fiction, Mythological Fiction, Trojan War, Achilles, Patroclus, Romance, War
UNIX: History and Memoir | Brian W. Kernighan [more][4]
Non-fiction, History, Unix, Computer Science, C, Bell Labs
Lord of the Flies | William Golding
Fiction, Human Psychology, Dark, Human Behavior, Stranded, Savage
Ready Player Two | Ernst Cline [more][0]
Fiction, Dystopia, VR, Pop culture trivia, OASIS
Steve Jobs | Walter Isaacson
Non-fiction, Biography, Technology, Art, Inspiration
Looking For Alaska | John Green
Fiction, Young Adult, Death, Romance
Turtles All the Way Down | John Green
Fiction, Young Adult, Existential Crisis, Romance
Siddhartha | Hermann Hesse
Fiction, Happiness, Wisdom, Learning, Purpose, Principles, Essential
An Abundance of Katherines | John Green
Fiction, Young Adult, Realism, Prodigy, Romance
Soon I will be Invincible | Austin Grossman
Fiction, Fantasy, Superhero, Comedy, Generic
Naked Economics | Charles Wheelan
Non-fiction, Economics, Fundamentals, Layman, Essential
The Richest Man in Babylon | George S. Clason [more][6]
Non-fiction, Wealth, Finance, Advice, Classic, Wisdom, Knowledge
Post Office | Charles Bukowski
Fiction, Antihero, Employee, Experience
I Will Teach You To Be Rich | Ramit Sethi
Non-fiction, Personal Finance, Howto
The Adventures of Sherlock Holmes | Sir Arthur C. Doyle
Fiction, Detective, Short stories, Classic
The Millionaire Fastlane | MJ DeMarco
Non-fiction, Finance, Wealth, Advice, Entrepreneurship
A Thousand Splendid Suns | Khaled Hosseini (Reread)
Fiction, Human relationships, Afghanistan, Historical fiction
Freakonomics | Dubner and Levitt
Non-fiction, Economics, Psychology, Human behavior
The Tragedy of Hamlet | William Shakespeare
Fiction, Classic, Language, Tragedy
Losing My Virginity: An Autobiography | Sir Richard Branson

An autobiography of one of UK’s most successful businessman, enterpreneur and humanitarian. I first heard about him mentioned in Peter Thiel’s Zero To One and then saw this book in my local library. Truly inspiration and mind boggling.

Branson, born in a middle class family, had an average school life, started a magazine in his teens, then a record shop called “Virgin Records”, and then “Virgin Atlantic”, and then… (Iykyk). Most people view him as flamboyant and frivolous for his around the world hot-air balloon trips and walking around with super models. Yes, he is eccentric but here, he bares himself for us. Beyond all that, he is a responsible family man. A lover and a doting father. The very incarnate of what every man wants to be.

Branson inspired me to start a magazine and I learnt so much about desktop publishing and the nuances of publishing. And, got introduced to Mike Oilfield’s beautiful album “Tubular Bells” (highly recommended). His Necker Island resort is love.
Why is Sex Fun? | Jared Diamond

A rational enquiry into the nature and anomaly of human sexuality, its evolution, and social and cultural repercussions by the author of “Guns, Germs, and Steel”. Eloquent, argumentative, and witty reasoning.

I wrote a blog post here . He talks about a variety of aspects of human sexuality that humans take for granted but are in fact, errors with respect to the animal kingdom such as monogamy, concealed ovulation, and even recreational sex. If you have read The Selfish Gene (which I highly recommend), then this book is a toned-down, more subjectively focussed form of it, but essentially in the same spirit. Biology folks are gonna dig it. Definitely revisitable.
When Dimple Met Rishi | Sandhya Menon

Romantic fiction. They adapted it for a series called “Mismatched”.
Hyperbole and a Half | Allie Brosh

A collection of comics inspired by Allie’s own life experiences similar to a biographical fiction. Dripping with sarcasm and humour. I was laughing so hard.
Galatea | Madeline Miller

A very short story by the author of “The Song of Achilles” about the myth of Galatea, the living statue and Pygmalion, the sculptor-king. Mythological fiction. Miller took her liberty to fictionalize the story in a feminist light as most of her other works.
Romeo and Juliet | William Shakespeare

A play about perhaps the most famous star-crossed lovers in Western culture. Quintessential Shakespearean in character, wonderful metaphors, witty, humorous, dark, with many literary devices, and complex characters. A dictionary is recommended. Didn’t disappoint but I still like the legend of Tristan and Iseulte more.
The Bell Jar | Sylvia Plath

A fictional first-person account of a Ms. Esther Greenwood, an aspiring writer, lover of poetry, and a victim of mental degradation. Events were inspired by Plath’s own life experiences thus, making the book semi-autobiographical in nature.

Published in 1963, it is one of the finest texts on feminism and womanhood. I wrote more here .
Arcadia | Tom Stoppard

A seven scene erudite play about romance, metaphysics, determinism, Byron, and mathematics. The events jostle between two different time periods – the 18th century and the late 20th century in the same room. The magic lies in the manner these characters are connected and the dialogues interweaved as they solve the “murder” mystery of Mr. Chater.

Generously humorours and witty throughout, Tom ruminates on human progress and the natures of mathematics and genius and time. Widely acclaimed as the greatest play of our age (though, I won’t count on that), this play is actually ingenious, chaotic and yet coherent.

Saw a production on YT. Really cool.
Tristan and Iseult | Rosemary Sutcliff

Ancient classic Celtic romance legend, retold hundreds of times by different people. This is one of them. Also of note is Wagner’s opera Tristan und Isolde because of its influence on Western operatic status quo and avart-grande usage of chromatics and dissonant harmonies.

What drew me more is the inspiration that feeds man’s mind. How a millenia old legend can invigorate an old guy to compose a magnificent piece of soul moving music that is heralded as a new avenue in what operas ought to be. The nature of value, though elusive, is this.

It was listed as required reading for a MIT OCW course called “The Philosophy of Love” (CC.112 ). Quite interesting.
In My Skin | Kate Holden

Stark, bare, welcoming, wholehearted, and honest. This is a memoir of an Australian prostitute and heroine addict. An arts graduate, Kate became a heroin “user” early, eventually kicked from her house and forced to take to the streets to support herself. Repeated failed attempts to get out of the dark abyss of “scoring”, lost loves, and stained respect, she tells us her story with utmost courage and finesse.

Her most private thoughts about baring herself in front of stranger men, wondering whether she could ever love someone again, and finding empowerment and solace in her job, speaks eloquently for how a woman truly feels, beyond the object or act that society tries to reduce her to. Packed with explicit imageries, brutal truths, and heart-wrenching emotions, Kate is delicate and unfazed at the same time.

Few of my books are frivolous, compulsive choices made in haste. This was one of them. It cropped up in a web surfing sessions and I thought it was cool so I dived in. Glad I did.
The Psychology of Money | Morgan Housel

A collection of wise ideas aimed at inculcating healthy habits in managing money. The author believes that managing finance should be learned more from history and psychology, rather than economics or mathematics because the people playing the game are not robots but humans.

With that sensible assumption, Housel draws from history, talking about what to do and what not to do in varied circumstances. Filled with anecdotes and quotes and knowledge, I enjoyed this book. Besides, it’s concise and not painfully boring. I wrote more about it here .
How to Win at College | Cal Newport

Cal explains in the introduction how he talked to outstanding and overachieving students to figure out how they do what they do. The book is a collection of 75 do’s and do not’s that he thinks college students should practise to gain more than just a degree.

To be honest, most of the ideas do make sense and one can always cherry pick what suits their particular situation. The book doesn’t beat around the bush or turn into a tomb. It gets straight to business. It was a quick and good read. Not sure if I would read it again but here’s a book summary to indulge you!
The JWT Handbook | Auth0

Quite in-depth treatment of algorithms. JavaScript implementation of SHA256, RSA, and others. Short and effective initiation into the subject. Found it to be losing narrative at points.

Read article on JWT .
The First World War | Michael Howard

Fascinating first introduction to the bird’s eye view of the events of WW1. History is so important to understand how we got where we are. Well, here’s to a life-long learning process!

And as usual, I wrote a post .

Reaching IIT Delhi

gs454236@gmail.com (Basil Labib) — Wed, 22 Dec 2021 19:19:40 +0530

Abstract

This post is a penned down expression of my personal experience. It is considerably less “lean” and “unpolished”. That is by choice, as I wanted to capture the spontaneity of the moments. What you’re about to read is arguably personal so be considerate! Have fun!

Dec 21, 2021 8:17

I look out the scratched glass window out at the receding landscape. it’s buildings and bridges. The sun is above my head, looking directly down at me, kissing me gently. And the railway tracks meander and merge like serpents and timelines, streaks of solid steel gleaming in the sun, hypnotizing the wry traveler like the sirens of Messina.

Dec 21, 2021 9:27

Kinda irritated by my perpetually dripping nose. Since I’m putting my mask on, all the allergy germs are trapped inside and hence aggravating the condition. Feeling very tired and sleepy. Managed to download important material for Wednesday’s calculus exam. The landscape outside is testimony to our capacity as savages, marring the natural habitat with electric lines and power grids and distant concrete cages. Quite smoggy.

Slanting sunrays on a lazy smoggy landscape

And the sun is stronger.

When you see why you cannot see

Dec 21, 2021 11:03

A quick nap rejuvenated my body. Found little internet connectivity at Asansol.

Dec 21, 2021 11:23

I remembered this poem I read a long, long time ago:

“Faster than fairies, faster than witches
Bridges and houses, hedges and ditches. . .”

Not sure who the poet is. (It’s From a Railway Carriage by Robert Louis Stevenson. I googled).

Dec 21, 2021 12:37

Wow, MTL proofs are like elusive ravishing nymphs. Beautiful when one can glimpse them but still outside one’s grasp.

Dec 21, 2021 16:04

Cold has aggressed. Runny nose with the distinct sharp headache that I have become so familiar with. Train near Patna. Since we’re in Bihar, dad has lost his seat to two illegitimate passengers (essentially pirates or hitchhikers). I luckily saved my upper berth by laying down before the ambush.
PS: I have to take a paracetamol pill.

Dec 21, 2021 17:52

So much free time, my mind is wandering in the most useless of thought fields. Can’t study due to headache.

Dec 21, 2021 20:50

I’m writing this being sandwiched between two layers of the same blanket from above and below, my head resting on the wedge formed by my backpack and my duffel, whilst lying on the upper side berth of a moving train bound for New Delhi. My first ever visit to the capital. I’m in pain from the bitter cold of this AC couch and the headache which has become routine anyway. Life’s good, if it weren’t for this headache I might have said to have actually enjoyed this journey.

I talked with mother on the phone and to be honest, I have already begun to miss her. I was overwhelmed when I realised again just how fucking lucky I am to have two people who love me and care for me so much. I’m so so grateful for what my parents have done for me. And I love them so much.

As I close my eyes, I can hear the rumbling of the train wheels on the tracks as we zoom past strange fields and meadows and towns in the dark night. I can hear chattering passengers, occasional shouts from peddlers, and suddenly disturbing phones that goes off unwelcomed. I admit that I’m more poetic in the morning. I took my paracetamol, and close my eyes resting assured that the molecules will faithfully do what they are supposed to and I’ll feel better in the morning.

PS: Hands are hurting. I’m holding my phone whilst lying which is an utterly uncomfortable position.

Dec 22, 2021 01:20

Woke up from clammering at the adjacent compartment. Father went to the washroom so I had to stand guard. What has changed? The pill worked! Like hell! I don’t feel any headache. The train is jolting across the night as it should. It’s quite comfortable, the resonance of these metal cages. I’ll go back to wrapping myself in my blanket now. I have runny nose now.

Dec 22, 2021 05:38

The outside is still a medley of dark and light. I can see flourescent orange-yellow lights zipping past me and small stations that the train doesn’t stop at, empty concrete benches illuminated by lampposts, the familiar black on yellow scheme used by the Indian railways to write station names.

Dec 22, 2021 08:10

A rather contrived attempt at appreciating the symmetry.

Breath freezing into fog. Very chilly hands. Off boarded at 6:30. Now, in this rather boring waiting room that costs money for holding up. In hindsight, a rather interesting (and lucrative) entrepreneurial idea. Missing out on very important quantum mech class. Stable internet connectivity.

Dec 22, 2021 09:41

Delhi is so much better than Kolkata, in terms of planning and infrastructure, which I value so much.

It’s a pleasant bright sunny day, just like a glossy cherry sitting atop a cake. Warm.

Connaught Place, New Delhi

Here’s Connaught Place, the “heart” of Delhi, from the cab.

Dec 22, 2021 : a later time into the night, reminiscing about the day

New Delhi is so much better than Kolkata. I’m not sure why my father is so pickled by Delhites but apart from their linguistic differences (to which I’ll return soon in a future post), I find them alright. And New Delhi? Boy, did it make a good first impression. Way better infrastructure, better more planned roads, larger spaces. I know it is very early (and hence silly) to form any opinions but that’s alright. It’s time I learn about this city and her secrets.

DAMN IT’S COLD OUT HERE! But then, I have spent all my life in the tropical comfort of Kolkata (not to mention the sultry summers), well-moderated by the Bay of Bengal. It seems like cold wind is seeping into my room like a slow, evil serpent and slowly entangling me in its grip, inspite of the glass windows. My hands and feet are numb. Hey, there’s a knock at the door. Wait, let me get that….Oh, woah,

Soumik sir: “Hello, Basil. How are you? Any issues at settling?”

Me: “ummm….erhgh….ughh, wow, hello sir! It’s such a surprise to see you here!”

Soumik sir: “Haha, yes. Have you talked to your seniors?”

Me: “Actually sir, I’m preparing for a math quiz tomorrow. But will gradually meet everyone.”

Soumik sir: “Ah, alright, alright. Make yourself comfortable.”

Me: “Thank you sir. Thanks very much.”

I closed the door. Woah. What the hell just happened. Did my chem prof just came to greet me? Was I decent enough? And that’s exactly how spontaneous it happened. Yes, ladies and gentlemen, I met my first prof outside the threshold of my room in a dimly lit corridor, my mind clogged by 1) the spontaneity of the situation 2) the awkward role it found itself in.

Returning back. Yes, the cold. Normal drinking water seems like what would have been taken out of a freezer back in Kolkata. I take sips reluctantly lest I fancy becoming dehydrated. Have to build a sort of heat exchanger.

I’m all wrapped up and warm. The trick to be sufficiently wrapped up and minimize physical activity. A man delivered a packet of food. I have a few essentials to fetch tomorrow and my first uni calculus exam.

PS: I was so tired from all the walking around, buying mattress and toothbrushes that I didn’t click the “religiously mandatory” pic in front of the banner. Will do it tomorrow or maybe day after that. Promise.

The Prince and the Monk: A fictive conversation

gs454236@gmail.com (Basil Labib) — Sun, 12 Dec 2021 17:50:54 +0530

Abstract

The following is a short story of an unnamed young prince of an unknown country in an unspecified time. The story involves just one conversation with a monk and how that unravels the personality of the prince and his hazardous life ahead.

To a future me when he feels too broken.

O nce upon a time, a young prince kneeling in the premises of an old monk asked him,

“Sire, I have become young, ambitious, and impatient. I think I have become a completely different person now. I want to dive into the corruptions of the world. Gold and girls seduce me, lure me to their embrace. But I know there is no escape from that labyrinth of greed and grief once I enter it. I want to force myself to revert back to who I was and engross my mind into less ambitious ordeals for the mind can’t be idle. I just want to numb it enough so it doesn’t rip me apart like it does now and for which I seek your counsel.”

After thinking for a while, the wise old man smiled and began, “Young man, I have certainly seen more of this world than most are fortunate enough to do so what I speak, mark them with attention.

Clearly, your mind is in a turmoil. You have yet to see much of the world and experience great emotions and have great adventures…”

Suddenly, the young man interjected with passion, “Ah! Ah! Don’t you speak of adventures. That is exactly what I’m afraid of. I have read these adventures and conquests and discoveries and inventions of great men, thinkers, and leaders and then I turn to my own life. . .” He put his palms on his forehead and shook his head from side to side as if in utmost distress and then continued, “. . .What if my life would be as bland as the poor peasants who are happy with toiling all day and selling their harvests in the common market? What if my marriage is as loveless and gruelling as so many I have recent memory of? What if I turn out to be as boring and ordinary, Oh lord this word, as any other nameless man who ever lived? When can I be sure to have my adventures and I emphasise mine own because I don’t want to force adventures to happen.” He chuckled. “Hah, even you know such coercions are merely falsities. But I want to be great. Like those generals and writers and scientists.”

He paused and looked at the monk with wide open eyes and an expectant yearning which he hadn’t had the luxury to display in public ever before. His speech was unarticulated and incoherent and he was well aware of that fact.

The monk paradoxically looked happy to be interrupted. He put a hand on the prince’s shoulder and began,

“At the entrance to the library of Alexandria, there are inscribed the words, ‘Know Thyself’. Can you imagine why the keepers of the greatest store of human wisdom would chose this seemingly ordinary phrase to decorate the entrance to such a sacred shrine? Most people who come to me don’t know what they came for and how can I, a humble servant, guide them if they themselves don’t know what they want? You, my prince, know who you are and what lies in your heart. You are a very lucky fellow. You have peered into your soul and have access to yourself. A man who is aloof within can never master the without. Mark that.

Your blood is young and the young makes mistakes. Do you want to suffer for your whole life for an impulsive, uninformed decision? What use will be your learning and education then? Always remember that.

But it is also true that education has opened your mind to curiosities which have evolved into desires. Most people are flocks, yes flocks waiting to be led. You are a leader. Assume the higher ground and protect it. It will be hard. You will have to sacrifice your greatest desires and greatest loves. But in that deficiency, you’ll find abundance. You’re Nietzsche’s ubermensch. Remember that.”

“No! I’m tired of this waiting! It makes me restless and anxious! I want to experience the goods and evils of this world right now. How can I do that without coaxing it? I feel like I’m an alien on an unknown expedition without any objective. I have no reason to go on living my grueling, miserable life.” interrupted the prince. It was a very lucky incident for the prince to have found not a counsel but an old friend in the monk for their intercourse became more of a conversation.

“The greatest assets for a man are time and his tongue. Let me elaborate on the former first, O ambitious prince. The fame and glory of all those generals and scientists you have read about were solely a function of their actions throughout their lifespan. A game of decision making. Master it and you’ll be invincible in the ranks of Heracles.

Time will be always against you. Plans will be delayed, appointments cancelled, tragedies will creep up. Life is too short. So, keep doing things. I confess the idea of inactivity, penance, and personal salvation seems preposterous to me for what is man’s purpose if not service to others? But you’re not a beast of burden, are you? Never rent your time. Work smart. And be intelligent enough to tell the difference.

The past doesn’t exist anymore and the future is yet to come. All we have is this moment – the wondrous present. I see you’re already developed of mind so you must understand how you cannot afford to be anything less than your best, every single moment. Be overwhelmingly kind and generous to people. That will soothe your heart a bit. But the fire in your heart will burn forever, it is the eternal fire of desire and questioning. You’ll never be satisfied with the reality you find yourself in and that will motivate you to seek even higher, unprecedented conquests.

I see your tender heart. You’re capable of the purest form of loving which is quite extinct in youthful fellows these present times. Those who’ll receive your love will indeed be lucky. But tenderness brings vulnerability. You’ll have trouble accepting love. You’ll have many lovers but you’ll never be at peace. A soul of your stature deserves an equally uncorrupted soul. You must be patient for its arrival and when it does, accept it as a gift.

You may indulge in corruptions but they won’t be your touch-bearers for long. You’ll quickly grow bored of based practices and seek counsel with the exalted because that is who you are. Evil will never find an abode in your body.”

The prince was incredulous and asked, “You say so, respected monk, but I desire all the riches of the world right now and I don’t see that impulse waning. How are you so sure of what you speak?”

The monk replied, “You have answered your question yourself. It’s an impulsive desire of a young mind. What do the wealthy and rich do with their coins? Our societies evolved by classifying people based on their monetary value, not on their intellectual value. Now you see the discrepancy? The high classes don’t yield their wealth judiciously because being rich, as the world defines it, is an illusion. The real rich man is one who serves his role first as, a son, then a husband, then a father, and finally as a leader and saviour.”

The young man, by this time, was in an induced stupor unaware of the world around him. His mind was feasting on the words of the great monk.

“Now, let me talk about the second asset – your tongue. You may be the most thoughtful and intellectually superior human on Earth but none of that matters unless people accept you. Our societies reward individuals who work for the masses. You don’t get rich by printing more money but because other people give you their money who are convinced that you deserve it. Your mouth is your window to the outside world. To these people. To those who possess things, beyond money, that you desire. And ultimately those who you will eventually love and live for. So, think before you speak”.

“Rise, my young man. You know all that I have spent my life seeking to learn.”

The prince rose after a few seconds, looked at the monk with utmost love and humility who had so effortlessly explain him to himself. Then, he bowed in respect, and walked out the low wooden door.

~ b.l.

The War to end all wars: The First World War

gs454236@gmail.com (Basil Labib) — Thu, 09 Dec 2021 09:50:24 +0530

Micheal Howard’s treatment of the First World War is a succint description of the horrors, challenges, tactics, politics, and sentiments that paved the way for one of the bloodiest wars the world had ever seen.

Overview of the causes of WW1

Karl von Clausewitz, after the Napoleanic Wars noted that war was a trinity of the government, the activities of the military, and “the passions of the people”. Howard goes on to unravel in great detail how these came together to become the causes of WW1. Now, to pinpoint any single event as the cause of WW1 is a risky business as is any such ordeal in history.

The First World War was a culminative result of an ambitious German Empire bent on repressing socialist uprising by feeding monarchistic sentiments and the idea of a Weltmacht or a World Power to the masses, surrounded by nations that were anxious to restore their lost territories and statuses in former defeats (France) with the aid of a disorganized, underdeveloped, yet resourceful ally (Russia). In 1914, Britain was interested in dominating its Colonial supremacy, a result of its excellent sea power (The Royal Navy) and monitoring threatening developments in the Continent. It was the most industrialized and urbanized nation in Europe. The Germans, though being the most powerful Empire, had to beat Britain if it were to convince its people of the rightful superiority of the German race, a result of its active (and glorious) advancements in the fields of art, music, culture, science, and technology. Some of the greatest leaders and thinkers were Germans: Wagner, Beethoven, Bach, Nietzsche, Schopenhauer, Einstein, Planck, Heisenberg, and so on. It was decisive that a nation which such a diverse and advanced tapestry would grow politically ambitious. Then, of course, there existed the Balkan and Ottoman issues.

Thus, Europe found itself in the midst of these conflicted self-interests of Great Powers and everybody knew that a war was inevitable, which was finally initiated when Austria declared war on Serbia after the assasination of the Archduke Franz Ferdinand and indirectly because Austria was apprehensive of the Russian-backed Serbian victories in the Balkan Wars. Germany invaded neutral Belgium to take on France and Britain, being unhappy at Germany actions, declared war on August 4th, 1914.

The continuation of the war

Everyone involved believed the war to be a short and decisive one, leading to a quick territorial change in the European subcontinent but they were all mistaken. The war, instead, dragged on and got more bloodier, violent, and inhumane as countries rushed to develop more lethal and barbaric weapons and ruthless strategies. The battlefields of Somme, Verdun, and Passchendaele bore witness to the destruction and death these nations bore in order to uphold their dignity in the European political landscape. The First World War was a war of many firsts.

The Germans unleashed chemical weapons, followed a policy of unrestricted submarine warfare (a violation of their previous treaties), air bombings (“Zeppelins”), German generals deployed innovative tactics (Bruchmuller’s “storm troopers”) and in general, displayed increasingly savage behaviours throughout the war. The British developed “tanks” and low-altitude airplanes, with resources from its ample colonies and trading with America (The US joined in 1917 and later considered it to be a mistake). The French were experienced fighters having fought some of the most historic wars till date. The Russians were able to mobilized and upgrade its industrial and armament sector mainly because of French investment, fueled by a “nationwide allegaince to the Monarch” but unfortunately, it amounted to little when the Czar was forced to abdicate in March 1917 (and later assasinated with his family) by Socialists and the subsequently creation of the Soviet Union led by the Bolsheviks who signed the Treaty of Brest-Litovsk in March, 1918 and ended Russia’s participation in World War I.

The conclusion of the war

The famous Treaty of Versailles of June 1919 was particularly hard on an already straining German economy, not to mention the humiliation faced by the Germans whose objective for the offensive was to become Weltmacht, their right as World Power. The sentiment was so strong that most Germans believed they have been deprived of their victory and blamed the Reichsfeinde (Socialists and Jews). The public imagination of Germany was up for grabs for any ideology which could pacify its apprehensions and promise restoration of its “rightful place”. Indeed, Germany would find such a charismatic leader in Adolf Hitler in 1933.

Author’s note

Arguably, what I present here is just a slice of the dynamics and web of cause and effects that motivated and prolonged WW1. I don’t aim to be comprehensive in my treatment of the subject and leave that to more able hands (Indeed, I haven’t touched on the developments on the two Fronts and overseas colonies). The following list is heavily inspired by Howard’s book.

The First 15 Days

gs454236@gmail.com (Basil Labib) — Wed, 08 Dec 2021 13:39:15 +0530

I wanted to capture my exact thought processes and emotional turbulence during the first 15 days of “housewarming” (if so you will) at IITD. This is that post.

One line summary for the TLDR peeps: Overwhelming. Hectic. Slightly intimidating academically and abysmally solitary.

We had our rightful hostel online meet on December 1st. I’m from Udaigiri. A serious meetup where our BSW reps laid down the rules and regulations of the hostel. Things like the disciplinary committee (DisCo), abuses, tolerance, offensive views, and so on. I would, obviously, respect other people and uphold the integity and sanctity of the university. And yet, one never knows when one crosses a line, either consciously or unconsciously, which is something that I must admit I’m a bit apprehensive about. It was also slightly uncomfortable being told to follow rules that should be given for a freshman. I mean, respecting girls, tolerance towards diverse views etc., ain’t these basic ideals of a civilized individual? Yet, as I was about to learn, IITD isn’t as safe and glorious as I had thought (Will come back to it later).

IITD has a rigorous and elaborate scheme of regulatory and control committees. It makes sense if one views the conundrum from the insitute’s perspective. Every year, it welcomes ~1.5K students from all across the nation which implies people from Kerala to Ladakh. Tips of Gujarat to Assam. Naturally, such regional diversity is manifested in other aspects of these young bright minds: cultural differences, language barriers, and even financial disparity. The institute has to take the initiative to prevent the culture to degenerate into

gs454236@gmail.com (Basil Labib) — Mon, 06 Dec 2021 22:00:23 +0530

Droplets 😄

Why?

Posts serve as well-researched, well-articulated opinions and thoughts. But I wanted something that could capture tiny little fleeting ideas. I needed microblogging. Oh, you’d say, “What about Twitter, pal?” Nah, not really. So, I hacked a little microblogging server. The code is open and on GitHub . The script is hosted on the incredible Deta platform and the database on Mongo Atlas.

Whose glory are we basking in?

gs454236@gmail.com (Basil Labib) — Tue, 30 Nov 2021 18:09:38 +0530

Twitter just got a brand new CEO. An Indian-born American and an alumni of IIT Bombay. A noticeable pattern: Microsoft – Satya Nadella, Alphabet – Sundar Pichai, IBM – Arvind Krishna, and now a welcome addition to the league of US tech companies run by Indian-born IIT graduates. This news has been quite a subject of debate and argument among my friends and being an IITian myself, I felt it my responsibility to clear up few misconceptions and put forth some context.

Now, you may have noticed how I took care of mentioning “Indian-born”. Because none of these people are solely Indian citizens and yet, media houses and Indian netizens are continuously glossing over the menial fact that they were born in India and studied at IITs. That’s preposterously and highly ludricous at so many levels. In this totally unplanned post, I just want to say a couple of things.

Screengrab of Patrick Collison’s tweet.

THE ACTUAL REALITY

Let me put this in perspective: From a population of over 1.3 billion, that’s 1,300,000,000 people, occassionally comes one smart guy who goes to another country to lead a company and contribute to their GDP. Instead of shaming over and really putting our thoughts as to our deficiency as a country to retain that mind, we are basking in misplaced glory and pride. What have we achieved? What are we proud of, really?

“Your personal experiences with money make up maybe 0.00000001% of what’s happened in the world, but maybe 80% of how you think the world works.”

— Morgan Housel

Our minds are incredible at fooling itself into believing it knows sufficiently to form a sound opinion on a matter. That is the gist of what is wrong with Indians today. Words-of-mouth, herd psychology, incentives, a general aversion to seeking out real knowledge in books and libraries, and a systemic training to suppress original thinking.

If one asks a US citizen to summarize their views on India, this might be what it would be:
Third world country. Cheap labour. Corruption. Taj Mahal. Road side paan spits. And occassionally a tech graduate from an IIT who pays my paycheck.

NOTHING HAS CHANGED

The point is, nothing has changed. Taxpayers money are still unable to target rural areas and primary sections, places where money should really go if we are to ensure Indians stay in India. An urban dweller tech grad would have zero incentive to stay in the country while they eye lucrative packages, a higher standard of living, and a developed country.

Financially, we lag miserably. Money poured into IITs and IIMs are a fraction of what is invested in the Ivy Leagues. Less than 0.5% of the budget is continuously allocated for fundamental research in the country. Excuse me but that’s pathetic. The success of the US stems from effective judicial and administrative systems (also the WWs) which facilitated extensive research in the 40s-50s, a cause of the digital revolution. None of the companies IITians run today were existent 20 years ago. We have a severely skewed sense of value creation and we pay for it.

GETTING A JOB != INVENTING A JOB

Now, let’s dismantle the hype around the word CEO. It’s very cool if you become one. Especially cool if it’s one of the tech companies today. But CEOs are not autonomous bodies that have free decision-making powers. They are answerable to a board of directors. Answerable to shareholders, the media, and the public – the consumer.

CEOs are people handed down responsibility of a company. But who came up with the idea of the company in the first place? Who thought that people might want to express their thoughts in 140 characters or indexing web pages would be helpful to people? Who saw the value before it was existent?

I heard this dialogue in David Finch’s “The Social Network”,

“Harvard undergraduates believe that inventing a job is better than finding a job”. ~The Social Network, 2010

I have forgotten much of the movie but this has stayed with me. It’s something to be quite thoughtful about. Why are Indian undergrads so damn crazy about getting a job? Systemic destruction of promoting original thinking at our beloved primary education system.

Post on Linkedin.

WRONG PERCEPTION OF IITs

These news would create a wrong perception of IITs which would send demands for getting into one sky-rocketing, leading to more cut throat competition in the already jostling environment of JEE preparations.

To all prospective aspirants and especially parents:
Fact: IITs are premier engineering and technical institutes of India.
Not fact: IITs are magical marvel institutes which will ensure handsome packages and US citizenship.

CLOSING WORDS

And yet, after all this, I’m optimistic. Take a look at this post by Prof. V. Ramgopal Rao, Director, IIT Delhi. Focus on the 3rd point.

Post of Director, IITD on Linkedin.

The Indian startup ecosystem is booming. The Indian markets will heavily reward innovative solutions. What we need is an ability for the next generation of nation builders to figure out what people want and deliver them at scale. Steve Jobs said once,

“People don’t know what they want until we show them.”
~Steve Jobs

I have no doubt, when we augment real value creation with our Indian training as hard workers, we would emerge in our most deserving colours. So, when Christopher Nolan depicted an Indian drone in the wheatfield scenes in the futuristic world of his movie “Interstellar”, he may have correctly prophesied our technological dominance.

FOOTNOTE

This is an unplanned draft which did not undergo the usual cycle of reviewing and editing. Some text maybe suboptimal; factually, grammatically, and/or conceptually.

The Accidental IITian

gs454236@gmail.com (Basil Labib) — Thu, 25 Nov 2021 18:43:35 +0530

There are events and people beyond our control who affect our lives in deeper ways that we can comprehend. 2020 was such an year for me. A most memorable year. I knew it from the moment our honorable PM announced a lockdown in March 2020 that my JEE was going to be a much different ride than how I had envisioned it.

Some people are unfazed by sitting in front of a screen for hours, listening through a headphone clasped around their skull. I feel suffocated. Pandemic time was memorable as school teachers and coaching tried to make sense of online education, setting standards, and establishing SOPs. They failed of course but anyway, that’s not the point. I analysed why my body has such a drastic physical aversion to attending a lecture digitally. Every student has a unique pedagogical approach to learning, by listening, watching, reading, or discussing. I pay attention in class. Perhaps, it’s a residue of the “be a good boy” attitude instilled in me by mom and dad. 100% attendance is another one. I reckon I have to begin fighting these habits. I can’t focus on a screen because of time lag and the constant jittery noise of microphones. My brain can’t perceive the nuances of teaching, like the instructor’s body language or tone modulation. A certain class decorum like sitting at a desk and actually taking notes on paper. These things are important to me. Some of them couldn’t materialize. Who is to be blamed? No one. I am responsible for fucking up my JEE because it was all my fault (so does my father say).

I lost interest in learning after a day or two I guess. It was obvious nobody knew how to handle the new environment. Everything was hit and trial. Rampant cheating in examinations and assessments, incompetent invigilation, false positives. Examinations were the worst with static from the headphone, noises from a distracting environment, teachers shouting over a one-voice channel, sounds mixing in a mass of gibberish, I truly hated the experience. Then, there was rounding up innocent students who are genuinely writing the paper while the crook got away with their objective. (And yet after all that, they had the audacity to put a number to our capabilities at the end of the year).

I found other avenues to stimulate my curiosity. Reading blogs, discovering music, reading a lot of books. I started you. And then, I started to learn web development. I participated in hackathons and did freelancing. I introduced myself to so many ideas that nobody ever tells anyone. I had a whiff with reality. Last year was the happiest time. I have a head rush thinking about it now but I found myself.

Note: This year has been so confusing that most of these events have mushed up inside my head into one untangible mass that I can’t make sense of anymore. This might be anachronistic but this is roughly how I remember it to have happened.

And yet, looming in the dark was the shadow of the inevitable, the impeding JEE Advanced examination. I was enrolled in FIITJEE Kolkata in 9th grade. Back then, I didn’t know what the stakes were and even now, I don’t. My first point of failure: KVPY SX 2020 (which was conducted in Jan 2021 after postponements). I had an AIR of 520 in KVPY SA. Everybody at home was in gloom. I felt underconfident. And yet, I was nonchalant. In fact, it aggravated. The clubbed national level science olympiad examinations came and went. I felt nothing over those two days, no exam anxiety or excitement or fear. I had no idea where I was going. At that point, I had no one to talk to. The only real people were my parents who are generously uninterested about how I feel and my little sister who I wasn’t so close with. I was really alone. No online meets or voice calls. There were days where I could go on without using my vocal cords. Somehow, I got a FIITJEE friend’s number.

NTA announced 4 JEE Mains for my batch’s extraordinary circumstances. Mains 1 went horrible. I was a really bright and promising student in coaching and school. Mains 1 felt like I was a backbencher in some government house with a punk friend. The usual house drama ensued. I cried my fucking hearts out. Nobody cared about me. But I got serious. I knew I needed something hard to hit me to get me out of my stupor of academic inactivity. So, in essence, here I was: a promising student fucking up his life. But I studied. There wasn’t much time gap so I couldn’t be as prepared as I wanted to but I work very well in time-constrained environment. I have a short focus span but it’s incredibly focussed. I go into trances while working on something I love like software or writing. Anyway, the results showed. I was in the 99 percentile club. Just to skip a bit ahead in the story, this was to be my best performance in JEE Mains 2021. Then, somewhere towards the end of March, the second wave enrobed India.

Horrible news of dead bodies stacked. Mothers and fathers crying. People running for oxygen cylinders. I was pained. All schedules exams got postponed indefinitely. No time-constraints to work under! Things got bleak again. Classes kept trudging along painfully. I wasn’t even attending half of them now. I noticed myself coming up with alibis and lying to my parents. The truth was I couldn’t take it anymore. I tried to self-study a bit watching my friends all way more ahead and focussed than me. I tried explaining how I operate to my mother. All she did was looked at me in the eye, screamed at me and said something that hurt.

I tried reaching out online. Chatting aimlessly in Discord servers. Memorizing nonsense sticker codes. I quickly realised all that was not my forte. I even tried [Omegle][0]. Found a nice country Tennesse girl. Then, she got all weird about a relationship and I quickly ejected myself from the situation. A couple of days in a year of 365. I felt floating in space without an astronaut suit, unaware of which way was up. Somewhere around this time, IISERs (group of premier research institutions in India) opened their admission portal. I applied. But just because there was nothing else to do. My friends were confident about getting IITs. I wasn’t even sure how I would survive the year. Oh, and after much drama, the CBSE examinations (equivalent to high school graudation) got cancelled. I felt like banging my head against the wall.

Way too many people describe themselves as introvert these days on socials. Perhaps because it sounds so cool. Vulnerable. Warm. Approachable. Friendly. Mellow. Who doesn’t want to look like these? But, it’s funny how telling someone that you are introvert defeats the idea that you’re one. Can there be nothing that people won’t twist and manipulate for their own selfish good? Being an introvert is the worst possible thing in this world. I know how it feels. But here, I have said it.

And, then I found this girl on Omegle. I have a strange attraction towards older girls because they are more mature. They understand better the nuances of life. Or maybe because I’m just a precocious soul damned into a younger body. But we clicked. Past midnight talks on Instagram, voice messages (just two), writing blog posts about her. I was a totally different person. Four days into our courtship, I panicked. And then that was that. Pages of explanation in my diary. Hours of thinking about “what ifs”. And getting even more irritated by the fact that I was just like everybody else.

Generally, the other entrance examinations happen after the JEEs so people have a clear picture of their options. This year, it all went out the window. Ask people who cared, it was really stressful (Even now, as I’m writing this, some of my friends are still double-enrolled in two univs. Herd psychology). I applied for WBJEE (our state level engineering examination), ISI (premier mathematics institute), and UGEE (entrace exams to IIITs, go-to place for Computer Science research) hoping to get just about anything. I was desperate, anxious, and tired. 3 consecutive exams. All passed by in a blur. I remember a girl from FIITJEE (probably SPHS) who was at St. Xavier’s for the ISI exam and deciding the whole time if I should finally talk to her. I had seen her for 4 years without a ‘Hi’. In the end, I couldn’t. That’s all I remember. UGEE online interview was a stressful event. Waiting all day for a 5 min interaction. I didn’t get in. Mains 3 and 4 came and went by too. Somewhere around here, I applied for IISc just because I could. I had zero hope of getting in. WBJEE went horribly. Parents and relatives who knew I was good were shocked with my result. They expected a “top 10 rank”. My rank was 823. And then, I fucked up the choice filling. Everybody was confident I would get into JU as a buffer so I would concentrate on JEEA, based on my category. I got nothing. I remember the horror that ran down my spine as I logged in and saw the words “You have not been allotted any seat in round 1” in bright red smacked across the screen. I was dumbstruck. I couldn’t sleep. Then, the question hit me with terrific force, like being beaten against a rock: “What now?” I didn’t know. I knew I couldn’t get my dream seat in IIT now. It was simply too late. Advanced date was looming closer. I got my first vaccine. Gathered all my courage for one last time. Charted a gameplan. Do or die.

Received an email from IISc Bangalore. I was selected into their 4 year Bachelor of Science programme. I told this to my dad and he was elated. “Beta, IIT jaana hai ya IISc. Bus.” That was what he said few months back when I asked what he thinks I should do. Mom was okay with everything. My head was a little happier. Phew, a buffer. I know I would work hard for IIT. Computer Science. That’s the love of my life. The way fishes swim freely in the seas. Or the lion that roars so confidently in the jungle. I adore Computer Science just as much. It is my domain. Not for the packages or whatever the herd does but for the sheer love of learning the subject. I would work my ass off, wouldn’t I? Right? RIGHT?! And yet, a very very tiny but very sure voice in my head said, No. It said I would grow complacent and accept my fate at IISc even though fundamental research is not my interest. I was pained and hollow inside though I kept a smiling face to match everybody else’s around me.

After another traumatising episode of overcoming my reluctance to even appear for the exam (thank you papa), I isolated myself at my uncle’s spare house for a couple weeks before JEE Advanced, slated to finally happen on October 3rd, 2021, a date forever etched in my memory. I imagined what it would feel like after the exam. The sum total of 4 years of dedication and perseverance and sacrifices measured, graded, and assigned a number. Anyway, I learnt human anatomy sitting alone in that beautiful, quiet, airy room. I love being alone when I want to. I was with my books. My books. Not J.D. Lee or I.E. Irodov. I wrote stories. I wasted time. I watched movies (That’s how I completed “Back to the Future” trilogy). I just can’t operate in an environment where someone else tells me what to do. I didn’t study. It was impractical anyway. Moreover, to my horror, I noticed that I was moulding my ways into that of an IIScian. I talked as if I was already an IISc student and somehow I felt…proud of it. I became disgusted with myself. Not because being an IISc student is looked down upon (heck, it’s one of the most-sought after programmes in the country) but because of my inability to chart my own course and let fate decide my future as I complacently stood by. Who was I?

Exam day came and went. Just another day at TCS iON Sector 5 facility (6 exams in 2021 alone). Frantic ‘Hi’s and ‘Hello’s in the corridor to known faces, eyes meeting lots of strangers, collecting my bag from the basement vehicle parking lot, few FIITJEE friends discussing the paper trend, sitting in a friend’s car during a break, somebody taken admission CSE in JU (Jadavpur University) already, couple of them in BITS, and me talking about research and IISc putting on the bravest face I could muster. I went home and felt hollow. Papers and Answer Keys started pouring in. Discussions. My mind was totally shunned from all that. It’s slightly annoying how most people remember what they did a day before “the D-Day” but I don’t. I wasn’t studying though.

So, here I stood. IISc it would be. Done and dusted, no more questions asked. I went to school to collect some documents and teachers were elated to hear about my admission. Everybody regarded me with utmost cordiality and respect. To be fair, getting into IISc is a tough game. I studied the 4 years of BSc programme in front of me. Interacted with seniors. And I knew I didn’t want to do it. The programme is jam packed with academics. And all I had learnt in my previous personal learning experiences was that I wanted a lot of time of my own. So, in a way I was mutilating my dreams. But was there any choice?

Results announced. 13K GEN, ~3K category. FIITJEE felicitation ceremony. A good friend from my starting days at FIITJEE and a SPHSian (South Point High School) and me started talking and that’s when he said what I knew but wanted to hear from someone else: IISc is a completely different lifestyle. I didn’t say anything but I knew what he meant. The chronology gets really messed up here but I remember the final nail in the coffin came from a IISc senior who just stormed into our Whatsapp group and started spitting facts early one morning. That ironed my resolute and I knew this wasn’t for me. I remember this: Come to IISc only if you’re very sure you want to do this and nothing else. I remember I made a spreadsheet at one point. I was reluctant to sit for JoSAA because 1) I was humiliated by my rank 2) I had no fucking clue what sort of research goes into filling the choices, what branches were available at the IITs and what sort of trends exists. But I sat for the counselling.

Lack of knowledge, know-how, and expertise as highlighted above lead to a very erratic and erroneous counselling experience for me. Even now when I think about it, had I been more calculative about my choices I might have ended up at a “better” branch. I couldn’t optimize myself. Anyway, this started towards the end of October. I called distant seniors at various IITs asking for their advise. I literally begged people for the SAF (Seat Acceptance Fees) and I am so lucky and grateful to say (like everything else in my academic life till now), two people (my uncle and one of my teachers) procured the money at a very short notice. I won’t forget my uncle calling me to collect the money in an hour since I told him. That was the last day for entering JoSAA. If it weren’t for him, I wouldn’t have been an IITian. And then, the grueling month ahead began. Checking the JoSAA schedule. Learning about IITs steadily. I was alloted IIT KGP Metallurgical Engineering in my mock rounds and IIT Delhi Textile and Fibre Engineering in Round 1. After much thought, I opted to slide. But it was of not much use. For 6 rounds, I woke up each morning with a start and an uneasy chilling sensation down my spine. I felt terror. WTF was I doing? I had cancelled my candidature at IISc on October 30th. This was beyond the point of no return. I was always on my toes. No mistakes or reruns of the fucking WBJEE counselling episode because that would potentially mean a drop year for me. I was absolutely alone. No one to guide me. In the meantime, I met with my teachers here from middle school and so on. It is such a pleasant feeling to know some teachers adore you (because I was adorable and innocent in middle school I guess). Round 6 declared. 4 year Bachelor of Technology in Textile Engineering at IIT, Delhi.

I had taken an unprecedented full U-turn for my career path. Elders and uncles who knew me were convinced that I had no fucking clue what I wanted or was doing with my life which is only partially true. I was bittersweet. I knew I was going to one of the finest engineering schools in the country. The hub of innovation and creation. But whenever, I told them I was in Textile branch, all they uttered was, “Oh”. There. I was judged. But who are people to judge me? TT1 (as I soon learnt from the IITD handbook) was a low content course which meant more time to pursue my own passions and projects. IIT is supposed to be the ideal breeding grounds for my ideas. But I had a mountain of knowledge to assimilate first; the culture, academics, admission process, and so on.

Prepping at a mind numbing pace, in a matter of three to four days of stressful work, somehow my father and I have managed to procure the first semester money. That was a loan, of course. There were many, many unspoken hurdles that kept cropping along the way. The Income certificate offered a challenge. I was again saved by my extremely talented and knowledgeable father who knew exactly what to do. I was exhausted that day. In a couple of days, I had my certificate. Now, let’s elaborate on the IITD admission process which comprises filling around 15 forms, apart from documents and money. I remember not receiving the welcome email (which contained my entry number) because I was one of those who finalized later in JoSAA counselling. I remember paying the money, organizing, compressing, and submitting those PDFs. I began interacting with other students on Whatsapp and Discord. I started learning the IITD “lingo” (which to be honest, is an overdo and impractical). My parents started lecturing me on the climate and the girls. I just listened to everything. I was happy they were concerned about me. I calculated anticipated tuition fee for the programme and realised I have to apply for student loan. But those were the details. I felt a strange mix of anxiety, excitement, hope, and fear inside me.

And then, just like that, on an ordinary pleasant morning, I clicked the “JOIN” button into my first mock APL100 class and ushered the new life ahead of me.

PS: I asked a question boldly in Delhi accent in one of the classes and surprised myself. I was fitting in. And then, I thought to myself, “Eh, I’ll be fine”.

A deep dive into JSON Web Tokens (JWTs)

gs454236@gmail.com (Basil Labib) — Mon, 22 Nov 2021 08:03:03 +0530

What is JWT?

A JSON Web Token or a JWT (pronounced “jot”) is a plaintext, human readable piece of data that enables authentication and trust between two unknown entities.

Why use JWT?

There are alternative competing standards such as SAML (Security Assertion Markup Language) that cater to the same needs like a JWT but JWT has certain advantages that has made it quite common, almost de facto in securing modern web applications.

It is stateless. It means the server or the client don’t have to maintain any piece of data in-memory in between requests for it to work.
It can be delegated. It means the task of generating and issuing a JWT can be completely disjoint from the core application itself, which can be delegated the task of only validated them. Less complexity leads to more robust and bug-free applications.
It is simple. In terms of the complexity of data (and hence the size of a JWT) which makes them ideal for low-bandwidth regions.
It is efficient to compute. A JWT is generated and validated. Both these processes can take place without considerable constraints on resources, making them ideal for hardware critical applications.

Why understand it?

Most developers and builders can get away without truly understanding the underlying mathematics or algorithms that makes JWT works and that’s. . . fine. There are tons of battle-tested, production ready libraries that enable JWT generation and validation, even third-party services like Auth0 , to whom one can delegate the entire process of authenticaing via JWT for their applications.

But, superficial knowledge gets one only so far. A thorough understanding of this technology will equip you to make sound decisions when designing an architecture or troubleshoot elusive JWT errors. It will empower you with a sense of self-assurance and confidence that one gets by mastery.

How do JWTs work?

JWTs combine concepts from cryptography and web technologies to create a standard that allows user authentication and session management among other things. In general, it allows one to say with confidence about the authenticity of a piece of data. This has been adapted to provide security on the modern web.

A JWT is human readable, encoded JSON objects concatenated by periods (.). Here’s an example (newline added for readability):

eyJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiIsInR5cCI6IkpXVCJ9.
eyJzdWIiOiIxMjM0NTY3ODkwIiwibmFtZSI6IkpvaG4gRG9lIiwiYWRtaW4iOnRydWV9.
TJVA95OrM7E2cBab30RMHrHDcEfxjoYZgeFONFh7HgQ

There are three pieces of strings:

Header
Payload
Signature

The header and payload are Base64-URL encoded JSON objects. Their contents can be decoded and read. Note: A JWT is not encrypted. However, there are standards for encryption (JWE) RFC 7516 . A JWT with only the header and payload is called an unsecured JWT and is generally not used except to store data on the client side in special use cases.

The signature is used by applications to verify the authenticity of the payload. There are many recommended algorithms to achieve the same but the most popular are HS256 (HMAC and SHA-256) and RS256 (RSA and SHA-256). Signed JWTs are defined in RFC 7515 . We will look at signing and verifying later.

User authentication: Walkthrough

User authentication workflow using JWTs.

In this section, we will walkthrough a process of user authentication using JWT. The outlined process is agnostic of the algorithm used upon which the process might slightly differ.

The user client (browser or app) makes a HTTP request to the authorization server with the user (suppose, Alice) credentials (maybe a login form). This should be secure preferably via TLS (Transport Layer Security).
The authorization server may perform necessary checks to be sure that the user is in fact who it poses to be. This maybe achieved by querying a database or via some other method like Single Sign-On (SSO).
The authorization server generates a signed JWT with the header specifying alg and typ and payload containing some unique identification for this user. The misuse of this identifier shouldn’t pose a secuirty risk, however, it should be adequate for our application to identify the user.
Authorization server issues the token to the client.
User requests resources from the application with authorization header set to Bearer ${token}.
Application verify the token using a secret or a public key based on which algorithm is used (See below). Choosing the corresponding PUB key can be based on the iss field in the payload and maybe an app managed database of public keys.
Application can reject the request or respond with the requested resources based on the result of the validation.

It should be noted that all data flows through the user client in the form of parameters to the request. On a browser, this should be the key-value pairs after ? in the URL bar. Moreover, the transaction is completely stateless. To initiate another request, the client can use the token within its exp period and avail the services. The application will undergo the validation process all over again.

To mitigate many secuirty risks, the exp period is kept as small as possible, however, it is not convenient to login for each single request. This gave rise to the concept of session management and access tokens and refresh tokens.

Refresh tokens have a longer exp time than access tokens and can be used in lieu of user credentials to ask for new access tokens when the previous ones expire.

Structure of a JWT

The header

The header is a plain JSON object having atleast one field alg which specifies which algorithm is to be used to verify it. Another is a typ field which is the media type of the JWT itself. For most practical purposes, its value is JWT. There may be other fields (or “claims”) but these are necessary. A sample header:

{
 "alg": "RS256",
 "typ": "JWT"
}

But wait. This doesn’t look like what we saw earlier. What’s going on? The header and payload are actually encoded by a scheme to the most common subset of UTF-8 characters to ensure portability and avoid garbled text, a sad product of multiple encoding schemes. The chosen method is Base64URL, a URL safe variation of Base64 which swaps / and + characters by _ and - respectively.

The alg, if set to none, can become a security threat for some verification libraries. The reason being, in the past many verification libraries relied on the alg field to pick up the right algorithm. This was the result of ambuiguity in the implementation of verification libraries. To migitate this issue, never use alg: none and never allow unsecured JWTs in your application. Onwards to the payload.

The payload

The payload is another JSON that is the data store of the token. All claims are stored in the payload. There are some registered claims whose field names have been standardized.

iss: The issuer. A URI string identifying the authority issuing the JWT. The data can be application specific.
sub: The subject. A URI string identifying the entity that this JWT carries information about. The data can be application specific.
aud: The audience. A list of URIs intended as recipients for this JWT.
exp: The expiration date. Expressed in number of seconds passed since Epoch.
nbf: not before (time). The opposite of the exp claim. Expressed in number of seconds since Epoch.
iat: The issued at (time). Expressed in number of seconds since Epoch.
jti: The JWT ID. A unique identifier of this JWT. Again, it is application specific.

Apart from the registered claims, there are so-called private claims which are defined by users and add application specific communication to the JWT. Namespaces may be used to avoid key collision. Public claims are either registered with the IANA JSON Web Token registry (central registry to prevent name collisions) or named using collision resistant methods.

Now, let us take a brief interlude to understand hash functions and then examine how signature works.

Hash functions

Hashing is a computational operation that produces a fixed length string from a data of arbitrary size. Moreover, hashing has certain interesting properties which makes them ideal for cryptographic applications.

Irreversibility: Hash functions are one-way functions. The original data cannot be deduced from the output. The only way (known so far) is to brute force each possible data to match the output.
Reproducibility: Hash functions are one-one functions. A piece of data is always guaranteed to produce the same output every single time.
Uniqueness: By choosing proper parameters, it is possible to reduce collisions to practically zero. Collisions happen when two different data match to the same output.
Unpredictability: Even if a single byte is changed in the original data, atleast 50% of the bits changes. This makes it very difficult to guess the data by cunning or intelligent guesses. See Avalanche effect .

Let us examine a popular hash function SHA-256. The Secure Hash Algorithm (SHA) family is defined in FIPS-180 . We are going to use the native node module crypto to generate a SHA256 hash.

// code source: https://nodejs.org/api/crypto.html
const {
 createHash
} = await import('crypto');

const hash = createHash('sha256');

hash.on('readable', () => {
 // Only one element is going to be produced by the
 // hash stream.
 const data = hash.read();
 if (data) {
 console.log(data.toString('hex'));
 // Prints:
 // 6a2da20943931e9834fc12cfe5bb47bbd9ae43489a30726962b576f4e3993e50
 }
});

hash.write('some data to hash');
hash.end();

HMAC + SHA256 = HS256

We have all the components to actually sign and verify a JWT. As it has been noted, the issuing authority can be seperate and oblivious of the identity of the verifier. This is an advantage of JWT. The question is: how do we achieve that? HMAC or Hash-Based Message Authentication Code works this way:

Generation of token:

Take the Header (H), Payload (P), and a secret data (SECRET). Concatenate them together and pass through a hash function.
Let the output be HASH. Append this as the signature or Message Authentication Code (MAC) for our JWT.

Validation of token:

Take H, P, and the same SECRET and produce a hash.
If the contents of the payload had not been tampered with, then MAC and this hash will match.

This scheme is very simple. However, there is an obvious disadvantage: The token issuer and the validation application have to share a common secret which is essentially the crux of security. Requirement of distribution across a large or insecure network makes regular key rotation unfeasible. Moreover, since the SECRET is stored on many nodes in the network, there is more possibility of a SECRET leak or susceptibility to an attack. Public-key cryptography addresses this issue.

RSA + SHA256 = RS256

HS256 suffers from the downside of being unable to distinguish between token generation and token validation. Both are essentially the same process. RSA public key cryptography is a scheme that involves 2 keys: a private key and a public key. The private key can sign a piece of data while a public key can definitively validate if the associated private key had signed the data, hence establishing data integrity. Moreover, compromise of the public key does not diminish the security of the scheme. The private key can be safely stored only with the token generation authority.

Tools like OpenSSL can generate these keys for you or even online services such as this one . An example 1024-bit RSA key pair:

Token generation:

A RSA key pair is generated (PVT and PUB). The PUB is made public.
Header (H), Payload (P) is passed through a hash function (SHA256, in our case). Output is HASH.
The HASH is signed with the PVT key to produce SIGNED.
SIGNED is attached as the JWT signature and issued to a client.

Validation:

H and P are used to generate a hash. Call it HASH2.
Using PUB, it decrypts the SIGNED to produce HASH.
The integrity of the data is established if HASH matches HASH2.

We can deduce authentication because it is guaranteed that just decrypted SIGNED by the PUB key must have been signed by the associated PVT key which is (ideally) only possessed by the issuing server. The issuing server will only issue the token if it is satisfied with the user credentials. Thus, the user possessing the token and posing as the user to our application must be no one else but that user.

One might question: Why not encrypt the header and payload directly and attach that as a signature. That is a valid question. In fact, such an approach would work in theory. It is not employed in practice because the RSA encryption process can be slow for larger payload sizes. Hashing is a relatively faster computational operation and produces fixed length smaller payloads for RSA to consume.

Other algorithms

There are a plethora of other algorithms that may be used. One of them that is specified in the spec and not discussed here is Elliptic Curve Digital Signature Algorithm (ECDSA) leading to ES256. Further, there are variations based on the key or block size in the SHA family or the public-key crypto scheme. For a thorough discussion, see the JWT Handbook .

Common pitfalls and mitigation techniques

If you want to develop secure JWT-enabled applications, you must be aware of the common pitfalls that may allow attackers to exploit the weakness of your system. Moreover, we shall discuss some mitigation techniques to safeguard your application. It is highly recommended to use tested, production-ready libraries and allow oneself to thoroughly understand the nuances of the provided API. It is generally a bad idea to roll out an in-house crypto module.

Unsecured tokens via `alg: none`

You must note that JWTs are unencrypted in general. JWE encrypts only the payload, the header is always in unenrypted form. Thus, due to ambiguity in specification, an attackers crafted JWT having alg: none can be interpreted as valid because of reliance of choosing the algorithm based on that field.

For more, see this paragraph .

Signature stripping

A JWT, as you know, is made of three components – header, payload, and signature. A common method of attack is to strip the signature, manipulate the contents of the payload and mark the token as “unsecured”.

To mitigate signature stripping attacks, make sure your application rejects all signature-less tokens as invalid.

Cross Site Resource Forgery (CSRF)

This attack is effective when JWTs are stored as session cookies on the browser. The attacker embeds a crafted link to the target site on a malicious page. When the browser requests the resource, it sends the cookie too, if the user had previously logged into target. If the target doesn’t implement CSRF mitigation on the server side, the potentially modified token can be deemed valid.

Short-lived tokens, not storing JWTs as cookies, and implementing CSRF mitigation on the application are used to tackle CSRF.

Cross Site Scripting (XSS)

This is similar to SQL injection attacks where the attack takes advantage of improper user data validation on the back end, to inject JavaScript into the trusted sites. It then attempts to harvest JWTs from cookies or local storage. Any data received from a user must be sanitized.

References

Blog post: JWT: The Complete Guide to JSON Web Tokens by Angular University (Good beginner introduction).
Book: The JWT Handbook by Auth0 (In-depth treatment of algorithms, See Chapter 7).

License

All diagrams and code used in this article is produced by the author unless otherwise noted and is licensed under CC BY-NC-SA 3.0 . This means you are free to share, adapt, or modify it but you should provide credit and not use the contents for commercial purposes.

Notes: How to Win at College by Cal Newport

gs454236@gmail.com (Basil Labib) — Sat, 20 Nov 2021 09:22:41 +0530

Abstract: This is a summary of the main ideas in Cal Newport’s “How to Win at College” .

I spent quite sometime trying to come up with a comprehensive yet concise format to summarize this book. I ended up either copying the whole book or noting only generic, fuzzy advices both of which are of little use to a freshman. Rather, what follows is a summary of the general ideas overarching the book.

PRODUCTIVITY AND OPTIMISATION

Time is your most valuable resource as a college student. To do more things, you have to do current things smartly and efficiently. Study systems, task delegation, work progress journal, spaced repetition, or any crazy idea that can structure your time is worth it. This is the single most important principle. Most of the advices are aimed at optimization. . .

FEEDBACK SYSTEMS

. . .Which brings me to feedback systems. You must have feedback systems that work for you going for academics, diet, physical health, mental well being, and sleep at least. Review of courses per semester, talking to advisers, “escaping” out of college periodically. When you feel like you’re loosening up, think about what you’re gonna lose.

Friends are your most important assets at college. Respect them. Keep in touch with school friends, be exceedingly generous, be known for a unique skill, and of course, enjoy campus life. That enables you to tackle the stresses of academics.

INTELLECTUAL STIMULATION

Kick above your belt. Conjure crazy things and strive to make them possible. Dress properly, attend guest lectures, take part in campus clubs, write a lot, assume positions of responsibility, read journals and newspapers, seek overachievers, and always let things happen to you.

CONSISTENCY

Fizzing or burning out are no options. Don’t bog yourself with too many things. Failed commitments degrade self-confidence. Academics must be consistent, seek out the library to study, stay focused and study alone, review with peers, evaluate, and analyse.

CONNECTIONS

You must let yourself be known. Be genuinely interested in research, refrain from “networking”, befriend a professor or an adviser (they will be valuable later on), engage in class.

Conclusion

This was a quick and good read. I would definitely recommend this book to a college freshman (A heads up: The book is kind of biased towards US college cultures).

I vehemantly refrain from books that read sentences like “Do X” or “Be Y” because if you actually don’t do X or be Y, then it doesn’t make a difference. Same conditions hold here. As they say, find your fit.

Thoughts: The Psychology of Money (Book)

gs454236@gmail.com (Basil Labib) — Mon, 15 Nov 2021 08:58:30 +0530

Abstract

Morgan Housel’s “The Psychology of Money” is less of a technical book and more of a collection of wisdom and wishful advices. It is N. Taleb’s “Bed of Procrustes” augmented with real life anecdotes, morsels of history, and a lot of quotations. Although Housel professes a very conservative and frugal approach to managing money, his advice cannot be disputed without a very good counter argument. The cautious models, frameworks, and signposts laid out in the book would prevent an investor from being foolish and that Housel says is too easy to be in the modern financial system.

“A genius is the man who can do the average thing when everyone else around him is losing his mind.”

— Napoleon

The psychology of money

This book is unique with respect to contemporary finance books because it assumes a psychological approach to finance, rather than a quantitative analytical one. The reason being this: Humans are inherently emotional and irrational creatures. Most of our decisions are instinctive and impulsive. Then how can we assume an individual to behave like a well-tuned machine making decisions based on “rational” and precise mathematical formulae? For example: If you were an investor in 2008, it would have been very difficult to hold on to your assets when everybody was selling, or moreover, to dare to buy in the market crash because as Warren Buffett quipped, “Everything got cheaper”. Unless you have the discipline and patience of Warren Buffett, such decisions are hard to even comprehend. And that is essentially what this book is about. It talks about few fundamental basic, even mundane nature of human and how we tend to act upon them, how it all applies to finance and how we can leverage this knowledge to become more disciplined and patient.

“To grasp why people bury themselves in debt you don’t need to study interest rates; you need to study the history of greed, insecurity, and optimism…”

— Introduction, The Psychology of Money

The idea that gives rise to such reasoning is quite potent and an ironically overlooked one in the money business.

My favourite Housel quote would be the following:

“Your personal experiences with money make up maybe 0.00000001% of what’s happened in the world, but maybe 80% of how you think the world works.”

— Morgan Housel

Most people don’t realise it but this is a very powerful idea. It can explain why we don’t usually get the result we think we ought to get. It can point to how we ought to react and improvise under dire as well as lucrative circumstances. Not just in finance but in other aspects of life too. Cultures and systems have grown to be complex and varied. Wisdom has become more diverse and specialized which is exactly what wisdom is not.

I strongly hold the belief that all complex systems and the world in general, is simple. To clarify, this “simple” does not mean “simple to understand”, it means “simple to navigate and emerge successful however one chooses to define the word for themselves”. Because ultimately, all effort of man and woman is to find utility in life.

Things that worked for me:

It’s not a long book which is a boon for me really. It makes its points concise and clear and that’s good.
In the edition which I have, there is a postscript section which chronicles the economic history of the US from 1945 to the present day and that is very cool. In fact, I was looking for something exactly the same but for India. I want to understand how we got were we are.
Entire book summary tacked at the end. It’s a conglomeration of the most important ideas all in one place, kind of like what I do here with my notes. Now, I can refer to that chapter.

Postscript

I’m aware that its been quite a long time since I wrote one of this. I miss those days when I could be more myself. I have been quite busy lately with college admission processes as you have no doubt noticed with a decline in my rate of publication and engagement on the blog. I would like to clarify that this is NOT a book review. This is a preservation of my thoughts that were kindled by this book so I can refer back to them later.

Web 3.0 and The Metaverse Mania

gs454236@gmail.com (Basil Labib) — Tue, 09 Nov 2021 19:54:34 +0530

There is a shot in Steven Spielberg’s 2018 science fiction “Ready Player One” where the protagonist, Wade, sitting in a shack in Columbus puts on a VR headset and is transported to the planet of Incipio where all avatars are born when they enter the OASIS. They can morph into any characters, cartoon, or monster. Customise how they look and sound and smell. Buy virtual assets and fight in hunts on a planet called Doom (Watch the movie if this is lost on you). Although these are mere imagination spewed from the mind of a 80s culture maniac, how would you feel if I tell you this is exactly the place we are headed?

The future? Credits: @sama

Definition and background

Web 3.0 – this is the term being pushed to describe the next generation of underlying architecture that would run the Internet. The 2000s saw the advent of Web2 which emphasised on the development of full-fledged web application when the simple, bland webpages (sometimes spiced up with CSS) served globs of static data. Web applications led to the development of Cloud computing – the idea of outsourcing computation to an outsider agent and AWS today is the biggest player which generated $16.11B in Q3 2021. Eventually, everything began being offered as a service, hence the terms SaaS (Software as a Service), PaaS (Platform as a Service), and even TaaS (Talent as a Service). But as these new technologies provided a new found avenue for the expansionist capitalist corporations, everybody knew something was lacking and that was integrity and failproof. (1)

How it came about

The traditional client-server architecture suffers from the obvious shortcoming of what is lovingly called the “central point of failure”. Nobody has ever liked this idea for obvious reasons. It was not until 2009 that an anonymous person(s) by the pseudonym Satoshi Nakamoto figured a way to reliably decentralised transactions. They described a method that allowed transactions without the need of a central clearing house and in essence, threatened to endanger the financial fabric of society. They called it Bitcoin. The builder community jumped at the idea. Then, a Russian-Canadian 19 year old saw these ideas in a much bigger tapestry. He envisioned a global computer being able to compute and unanimously agree on a given state across billions of computers or “nodes” spread across the world. These “blockchains” could be used to compute and store non-tamperable data and not just transaction history for a piece of imaginary crypto currency. The fact that these ideas and technologies have developed in just the last 10 years is what should be mind boggling.

Why should anybody care?

Blockchains promise a failproof swarm of computers that maintain untamperable data. This means perfect financial transactions and zero fraud (provided the number of good nodes > number of malicious nodes). Anything that can be computed (which is pretty much everything) and stored can be put on a blockchain consisting of thousands of computers, each an equal node having equal access and right over the data. This decentralised technological haven free from the shackles of tech giants today is what web 3.0 promises. It plans to create a utopia of perfect technological democracy and cooperation. At least that is what the early proponents of this idea had intended.

The conflicted philosophy

A week or so back, Facebook announced that it would rebrand itself as Meta to emphasise their new agenda of “metaverse-first, Facebook-second”. What is metaverse? It’s a perverse realisation of the perfect utopia I described above. Almost all software that enabled blockchains to flourish in its infancy was open sourced and developed mainly by hackers and rookies in their free time. Tech corporations, facing their greatest fear of staying relevant, have taken a plunge into this arena to combine AI, blockchains, fed by gangantuan mountains of data (“Big Data”) accreted for decades, to bring products that mimick the open ethos that have drawn people. But it’s not gonna happen. By definition, any product that corporates build is to make profits because that is what keeps them going and that is the exact antithesis of what web 3.0 means – to decentralise the reliance on a few tech corps and relinquish control and autonomy over our digital presence.

The point is metaverse is definitely the future of the internet as it promises grounds for expression, exploration, and empowerment. But it won’t suffice in the face of totalitarian control by a central organization and definitely not when it’s built by profit-driven organisations whose goals are unlikely to be any different than that. This would incite competitors to build their own metaverses and eventually there would be a pool of tiny “metaverses” which would jostle for consumer base and profit maximization, reducing the entire effort into a capitalist rerun of the web 2.0 scenario, albeit, in a fancier cover.

Take for example the recent hype around NFTs.

Crypto exchanges and markets are volatile and unregulated because they are such a new and misunderstood tech. This has led to many malpractices including blantant market manipulation. Moreover, the danger is people who understand nothing about blockchains or crypto are investing in these markets and hence falling prey to veteran bad actors.

Human behavioral psychology is heavily influenced by others and watching others share news of becoming millionaires can hardly stop our humble crypto uninitiated average man. This is the exact scenario playing out in the non-fungible tokens (or NFTs) economy. People became excited about minting and cashing in millions for their “artworks” and memoribilia because impulse is hard to control.

In reality, an NFT token is an immutable record that decrees ownership of a particular digital asset to an individual. A digital asset that has no physical value or purpose other than being a money-making machine for the ultra capitalists.

Teenage psychology and business

Today, Instagram, a subsidiary of Meta, appeals to the youth and teenage populace because they understand well how youth psychology works. Millions of kids today spend hours customising their “profiles” and masquerading behind their ideal perception of themselves. It is the basic teenage desire to feel inclusive and belonged to a group they admire. Imagine metaverse avatars and the frivolous, untangible economy it will give rise to.

Economies are one of the most unstable systems on this planet (which would have been fine if it were one of the most critical too) because it is an emergent property; an outcome of the individual actions of billions of tiny beings wholly unaware of the actions of almost everybody else. Nobody has an idea of what is valuable and worth spending their money on but modern financial systems rely on the behavior of these ignorant individuals to define what is valuable and hence produce more of it. This is a recipe for complete economic collapse if you think about it and also happens to be the definition of capitalism. Who will regulate these companies? Which brings me to . . .

Govermment regulations

Anonymous by design

Govermental or third-party regulations of blockchain transactions are virtually impossible due to the inherent design of such systems. Blockchain transactions are designed to be anonymous and untrackable. It was one of the reasons why bitcoin was used as a payment method in the infamous Silk Road . Moreover, unrestricted financial transactions can give a stupendous advantage to terror groups, criminals, and drug peddlers, making the job a lot harder for law-enforcing bodies. It is one of the reasons why nations are wary of legalising crypto.

Unregulated hate content

Facebook / Meta, has been prosecuted countless times for their failure to regulate hate content on their platforms. I am not against content creators because they genuinely add value to society. But as social platforms have reduced the bar to become celebrities to almost nothing, everyone has found a corner on the internet to preach and inject their thoughts into the societal thoughtstream. India is a primal example of this paradigm.

A study last year showed that India leads in the origin and propagation of fake information about the coronavirus and its “remedies”. Underdeveloped and developing countries are shown to be correlated to misinformation on social sites. Non-English content pose a greater problem because of lack of sufficient clearing houses in the respective languages, cultures, and / or disciplines. The impeding question remains: Who is responsible for the resulting violence and crimes? What is the definitive solution to this mishap? As it can be understood, these are challenging questions even for policymakers.

My personal belief is that the power resides with the masses. Ethical education, digital etiquette and financial empowerment (this is easier said than done) are the sole factors for these people to act responsibly. Corporations move towards profits driven by demand and that is all they will do in the future.

Where we going?

Web 3.0 is, no doubt, a suite of impressive technologies that promise mind-boggling sovereignity and independence. Yet, as we have tamed forces of nature, from lightning to information, we have been gravely aware of our growing responsibility for our own well-being. The consequences of what we choose to do right now can be either disastrous or rewarding.

Footnotes

(1): Note that the development of assymetric key cryptography made it possible for stranger parties to securely transact over a foul network and hence help make internet economy feasible.

Hacktoberfest and open source

gs454236@gmail.com (Basil Labib) — Thu, 21 Oct 2021 06:22:07 +0530

DigitalOcean, a cloud service provider annually hosts Hacktoberfest , a month-long celebration of open source culture where developers from around the globe contribute to open projects. It is in its 8th iteration this year and has become quite an attraction for programmers, young and experienced.

It is unfortunate that most people don’t really understand what open source is. This post will talk about open source, the people, beliefs, and psychology behind it and how it has changed our lives.

THE PHILOSOPHY OF OPEN SOURCE

Open source is a philosophy, a collection of ideas that have evolved into a culture. That philosophy is grounded in freedom and liberty. The founder of the GNU project and eventually one of the pioneers of open source, Richard Stallman is famously quoted,

“Think free speech, not free beer.”
~Richard Stallman

This succint definition captures the essence of what open or “libre” (from French meaning “freedom”) means. Open source is not a free commodity for anyone to use (though it is that in some plane of thought) but it is much more than that. It is an expression of defiance to corporations and closed systems. Crafty people have, in all eras, attempted to dominate the masses. With software, such ambitions have become more absolute and sustainable because software affects so much of our lives and will continue to do so with increasing fervour. Open source is denial and decentralization of that power back to the people. However, modern corporations have, instead of opposing, embraced open source which is an interesting compromise.

PEOPLE WHO WRITE OPEN SOURCE

As the computing era was underway in the 60s, people obviously realised the potential computing carried. It was one of those mega money-making invention that rarely blessed mankind. However, there was one group who believed freedom should extend to software too. They were romantic cyberpunks who believed that no single group should be allowed to dictate what and how software was created. This was a group of misfits, and troublemakers. They were non-conformists and brilliant. They broke things often and fixed them, often infusing their own ideas and ideals. They were also, what is now popularized as, a “nerd” or a “geek”. But unlike the popular “geek” image painted by media, they were agile and vigilant and receptive to the needs of the society. They were not careless about their expertise and knew what power they yielded. They were responsible, persistent and infinitely curious. These visionaries were called hackers. To be called a hacker is a badge of honour and not of disgust. It is unfortunate that media has rallied this pure word to mark a certain section of malicious actors who use their skills mostly for destruction and chaos. That is a distortion of the real meaning of a hacker.

THE PSYCHOLOGY OF A HACKER

If someone is really interested, they may ask the question: Why do hackers behave the way they do? Why do they see it more befitting to give away their code for free, instead of making money and getting rich of it? Naturally, that is what people in other fields would expect and choose to do.

So, here’s the thing: The peculiarity of Computer Science is that it is a highly specialized field. Most people just “leave it to the experts” and unlike fields like personal finance where people have to “get their hands dirty” and learn a thing or two, they can simply forget about what goes inside the black box of their systems and assume everything works fine. Nobody bothers to understand what programmers and software writers do, let alone appreciate the art of writing code.

This leaves hackers in an awkward position. It’s a psychological response. This group of people seek appreciation from people like them and because they are few in number, they share a special and unique sense of camaraderie which they try to consolidate. Being blissfully unaware of social norms and conventions, they communicate what they are truly passionate about: their code and their visions. The freedom to exchange ideas and distribute code freely is an offshoot of this process. It is the cry of a brilliant dreamer to seek out appreciation from the small community who, they are sure, will understand his visions and his works.

Not for a moment believe that what I have outlined is anything short of a superhuman power. How many professionals would choose to put the good of community above their own selfish gain?

For more on hackers and their beliefs, see here .

WHY IS OPEN SOURCE THE FUTURE?

Open source is the culture that nurtures thinkers, creators, and hackers. As Paul Graham, worked on LISP, founder of Y Combinator (a tech startup incubator), wrote in this interesting essay “Hackers And Painters” ,

You can’t do anything really well unless you love it, and if you love to hack you’ll inevitably be working on projects of your own.
~Hackers and Painters (Essay)

One might scorn in disgust as they use an open software and complain that it is suboptimal or that it doesn’t look good. It is because either 1) That software is fairly new so it doesn’t have much community yet 2) You have completely missed the point. Freedom of expression is most important to hackers. It is the space of infinite creativity where they can realize their wildest dreams. If you don’t like the way a software is built, they give you the opportunity to change it yourself. This choice of having an actionable opinion in what one uses is non-existent in commercial software. This is also one of the reasons why software written by hackers are often choked full of nifty, geeky shortcuts to literally everything, many a times, to the disgust of their corporate employers. It is because they don’t write code to please their employees. Hackers intentionally design their software to be modular like a jigsaw puzzle. It is perhaps because they understand most intimately, of all people, the high of writing great software and the need to communicate ideas.

“Sharing knowledge is the most fundamental act of friendship. Because it is a way you can give something without loosing something.
~R. Stallman

WHY GO OPEN?

Creators and builders understand the need to share their ideas without any hindrance. It leverages different perspectives, minds, and hands which eventually enables software of far superior quality as opposed to a commerical alternative. Take for example, the GNU project, Emacs, Vim, git, Linux, BSD, Blender, Python and so many others. Decentralized fintech such as Bitcoin and Ethereum which are challenging the financial tapestry of our society. Even recent corporate projects have been opened such as Facebook’s React framework.

People believe that if one has to pay for something, then the thing they are paying for must be a valuable product worth the value set by the seller. This is natural herd psychology yet, it’s a fallacy. The price doesn’t determine the value. They are not causative events, in economic jargon.

When code is scrutinized by thousands of peering eyes instead of a couple hundered inside a closed organization, it naturally leads to more bug-free, robust, and versatile systems. Imagine the marvel that is the development story of Linux. Torvalds admits, in his autobiography, to have manually applied the patches (sent as tarballs from strangers over the internet) into his codebase! And somehow it worked.

“Software is like sex: It’s better when it’s free”.
Linus Torvalds.

PERSONAL EXPERIENCE

I wouldn’t have started my fascinating journey into software, had it not been for open source. I started out by literally pulling out and reading source code of repositories on Github! I can see fairly clearly the self-reinforcing structure of open source. It invites not one group, but everyone to contribute back and on the way, enabling them and equipping them with the tools and expertise to do so. And why shouldn’t people have a right to look into the source code of the software they use and depend on every day?

LITTLE HISTORY

(I saved this for the last because I think history doesn’t appeal to many people. But it does to me!)

A basic outline of the history is called for, at this point. It started at AT&T Bell Laboratories in the 60s. This place was the geek haven of the 60s. Most of the foundation of computer science as we know it today was invented here. The transistor was invented at Bell Labs. Dennis Ritchie and Ken Thompson, two prodigious programmers, writers of several CS “bibles”, and visionaries invented UNIX after MULTICS, another operating system failed to materialize out of a contract. Note that this was the pre-personal computing era so most of these research is geared towards militiary or enterprise applications. UNIX was (is?) a revolutionary piece of software. It introduced novel concepts such pipes, user-level programmable shell, hierarchial file system, and the famous UNIX philosophy: “small is beautiful”. But, UNIX was essentially a commercial project. The strategy of AT&T was simple and the gist of it exists in this 1907 tagline,

“One Policy. One System. Universal Service.”

They collected and hired the best, gave them creative and financial autonomy, and reaped the benefits of commercialization by leveraging its monopoly in the telecomm sector.

Richard Stallman independently started implementing a complete system from scratch and called it the GNU project which is a recursive acronym for “GNU’s Not UNIX”. The terms of the GNU Project, launched in 1983, was simple: This source code is free. I won’t charge you any money. But if you modify and make something interesting, you have to publish it with this message. The GNU Public License or GPL was ironclad with no judicial loopholes for exploitation (because Stallman employed lawyers to draw the terms). Though, there were pockets of “hackers” around the globe who were tinkering on their machines, the GNU project was the one that came into the spotlight. The idea wasn’t new, but it captured the public imagination like never before. It spawned the *BSD family of operating systems, all open. And of course, in 1991 a 21 year-old Finnish student started writing a kernel using GNU software and make his hobby project into one of the most successful open source stories in recent times. Linus Torvalds became a sort of poster boy for libre software. Though, Torvalds has recently been known to controversial, I gauge people with what they did. Linux and git are great software. I use them everyday.

The details of Linux is a messy one due to lack of standardization, prolific burst of new microprocessor architectures, birth of WWW, and potential financial gains. For more, I suggest UNIX: a history and a memoir .

BIBLIOGRAPHY

Torvalds, Linux; Diamond, David: Just for Fun - The Story of an Accidental Revolutionary, Harper
Kerninghan W. Brian: UNIX - a history and a memoir, KDP
“How to Become a Hacker” : Essay by Eric S Raymond
“Hackers and painters” : Essay by Paul Graham

Building a Discord bot: A definitive guide

gs454236@gmail.com (Basil Labib) — Sat, 16 Oct 2021 07:56:12 +0530

In this guide, I will be building a Discord bot from scratch using only discord.js and a few open public APIs. I’ll also explain each step and discuss the reason for preference of a particular way of implementation over others. Unlike other “recipes” on the web, this will give you insight into the workflow of building software.

This may seem like a long post because it is. I suggest you to follow along in chunks so you don’t get overwhelmed. The tutorial is divided into chapters. So, let’s get started.

WHAT ARE WE BUILDING?

Mayhem is a simple Discord bot that is aimed for entertainment and fun. It queries external public APIs for images, jokes, facts and definitions. Few commands are meow, cat, whatis, whoami, ls, help, whereami and so on. There is a subtle shoutout to UNIX if you’re familiar ;).

Moreover, these commands are chosen and designed in a way to demonstrate capabilities of the Discord API. Thus, features such as exclusive commands, cooldown periods, pre-fetching etc. are also discussed.

CODE REPOSITORY

The latest version of the codebase can be found here . Instructions for installation on your Discord server can be found in the README.md .

For options to host the bot, see Deployment Options in the README.

JS PRE-REQUISITE CHECK

You should be familiar with JavaScript and computer programming concepts such as loops and conditionals. But JS is a particularly notorious language as it is continuously being modified to suit the industry. You should know at least ES6 or ES7. If not, no worries! Below I cover few JS concepts we’ll be using in this project.

ARROW FUNCTIONS

[1,2,3].map(elem => 
	{ console.log('doubling!');
	 return 2*elem; 
});

A syntactic-sugar to reduct clutter. Nothing more but highly convenient for writing chained promises (If you ever found yourself in such a situation that is).

PROMISES

const data = fetch(URI)
	.then(res => res.text())
	.then(tex => JSON.parse(tex))
	.catch(err => console.log(err));

A fix to execute asynchoronous statements synchoronously. Think of these commands as being executed one after the other and not all together because they can’t as the data are dependent on successful execution of previous steps. I never liked it much.

`await`/`async` FUNCTIONS

async function nano(args){
	const _r = await fs.readFile('stuff.json');
	// more code
}

Successor to Promises. Cleaner, more logical syntax. As opposed to being an API like Promises, async/await are keywords in JS now.

If you want to gain more insights into these constructs, it is recommended to check out MDN JavaScript module .

INSTALLATION

You need Node.js and a package manager such as npm or yarn . npm comes packaged with Node.

We will be using these npm packages:

discord.js@12.4.1 or above (Note: The code is tested with this version only)
node-fetch@2.6.1

BASIC SETUP

To make a new node project, run the following in your terminal:

$ mkdir mayhem
$ cd mayhem
$ npm init -y # -y to say yes to all defaults
$ npm install discordjs@12.4.1 node-fetch@2.6.1
$ touch bot.js

Then, open package.json and add a new script for convenience:

...
 "main": "index.js",
 "scripts": {
 "test": "echo \"Error: no test specified\" && exit 1",
 "start": "node bot.js"
 },
...

CREATE BOT APPLICATION AND GENERATE TOKEN

Now, we have to create a bot application through your Discord account (Make one, we need it!). The steps are as follows:

Login and open the Discord Developer Portal .
Click on the “New Application” button.
Enter a name and click “Create” button to confirm.

Created New Application in Discord Developer Portal

You are free to edit other information as you wish on this page. We’ll leave it to defaults. Then navigate to the “Bots” tab and click “Add Bot” button.

Created new bot and customized with a name and image icon

Clicking on “Reveal Token” will show your bot token. A Token is a unique identifier for your bot application and is used by Discord to authorize your bot to actually log in and appear online in a server.

CAUTION: It is very important that you keep your token safe and secret. You must not mistakenly commit it to a public repo or such. The consequences can be disastrous. If the key got leaked by mistake, immediately click on “Regenerate token” to generate a new token and invalidate all previous tokens.

WARNING: Make sure you copy the “Bot Token” and not the “Client Secret” or the “Client Key” which are on the Applications page.

GENERATE BOT INVITE LINK

Bot invite links explained

A typical invite link looks like this:

https://discord.com/api/oauth2/authorize?client_id=123456789012345678&permissions=0&scope=bot%20applications.commands

The fields that need elaboration are the query parameters which are as follows:

client_id: The client id is the application that is authorized.
permissions: an integers which encodes the bot’s permissions on the server in binary.
scope=bot: Yes, this is a bot invite link.
applications.commands: To enable Discord to allow / (slash) to invoke bot commands.

Head over to the OAuth2 page, scroll down and select applications.commands and bot. Then, choose permissions that you want your bot to have. The page handily generates the link for you.

Permissions for Mayhem

Here, I show the permissions for our bot. As you can see, it is a fairly less-demanding bot in terms of administrative privileges.

Authorizing your bot into a server

Paste the generated link and you will be asked to authorize the server. Note: You can add them to servers in which you have admin access only. If successful, you’re greeted by a confirmation dialog. Congratulations, now you can see Mayhem online with a “BOT” tag!

CHAPTER 2

In Chapter 1 of this tutorial, we had finished logging our bot into our server. In this post, we plan to give it some interactivity with human users. Moreover, we will organize our code in a modular pattern to facilitate modification and addition of more commands easily.

FIRST COMMAND & `bot.js`

// New file: /bot.js
const Discord = require('discord.js');
const {prefix, token} = require('./config.json');

const client = new Discord.Client();

client.once('ready', () => {
	console.log('Ready!');
});

client.on('message', (message) => {
	console.log(`[${message.channel.name}] ${message.author.username}: ${message.content}`);

	// Don't interfere when you are not required and don't be dumb enough to reply to your own msgs.
	if(!message.content.startsWith(prefix) || message.author.bot) return;

	const args = message.content.slice(prefix.length).trim().split(/ +/);
	const cmdname = args.shift().toLowerCase();

	try{
		if (cmdname == 'hi') {
			message.channel.send("Hi ${message.author}! I'm Mayhem. Nice to meet you!");
		}
	} catch(err){
		console.error(err);
		message.reply('Oops. There was an error while executing that command.');
	}
});

client.login(token);

The code is fairly straightforward to understand. We import the required modules and secrets. The prefix is a special character you use to invoke commands on this bot for eg: /, ., -- etc. After instantiating an instance of Discord.Client(), we log simple text when bot is ready i.e. the ready event is triggered.

Then, for every message sent to a channel, the 'message' event is triggered which is handled by the function we supply to client.on(...). The code parses the message and sends a hi message to the user for messages of the form <PREFIX>hi. Finally, we login with the bot token we generated before.

// /config.json 
{
	"prefix": "YOUR-PREFERRED-BOT-PREFIX",
	"token": 0123456789
}

Run npm start or node bot.js and your bot is online!

For now, the bot doesn’t do much and only sends the ‘hi’ message rather annoyingly.

The code structure as such is not very robust or versatile. We’ll organize it to be modular to facilitate that. The idea is we keep code logic for each command in a seperate file in the /commands directory and load them into the client upon instantiation of the client object. Then, adding a new command will be as clean as adding a new file to this directory.

MODULARIZATION

$ cd /path/to/mayhem
$ mkdir commands
$ cd commands

// New file: /commands/hi.js
const {bot_name} = require('../config.json');
const Discord = require('discord.js');

module.exports = {
	name: 'hi',
	description: 'A nice introduction is the gentleman\'s way.',
	usage: '',
	execute(message, args){
		const embed = new Discord.MessageEmbed()
			.setColor('#00ebc7')
			.setTitle(`Hello! ${message.author.username}`)
			.addFields(
				{name: `${bot_name} bot says...`, value: `Yo! Nice to meet you!`},
			)
			.setTimestamp();

		message.channel.send(embed);
	}
}

As you may notice, we export few other handy metadata apart from the function execute(...) which contains the main logic. We will be adding other fields for unique commands as we need them. This approach was highlighted in discordjs.guide .

Now, make the following changes to bot.js.

// /bot.js
const fs = require('fs');
const Discord = require('discord.js');
const {prefix, token} = require('./config.json');

const client = new Discord.Client();

client.commands = new Discord.Collection();

// will be used later
const cooldowns = new Discord.Collection();

const files = fs.readdirSync('./commands').filter(name => name.endsWith('.js'));

for(const f of files){
	const command = require(`./commands/${f}`);
	// According to Discord API, Discord.Collection is a JS Map Object with more convenience methods
	// Set the record with key as the command name and value as the command itself
	client.commands.set(command.name, command);
}

client.once('ready', () => {
	console.log('Ready!');
});

client.on('message', (message) => {
	console.log(`[${message.channel.name}] ${message.author.username}: ${message.content}`);

	// Don't interfere when you are not required and don't be dumb enough to reply to your own msgs.
	if(!message.content.startsWith(prefix) || message.author.bot) return;

	// basic parsing
	const args = message.content.slice(prefix.length).trim().split(/ +/);
	const cmdname = args.shift().toLowerCase();

	// get the cmd object
	const cmd = client.commands.get(cmdname);
	if(!cmd) {
		return message.channel.send('Oops! No such command ;-;');
	}

	try{
		cmd.execute(message, args);
	}catch(err){
		console.error(err);
		message.reply('Oops. There was an error while executing that command.');
	}
});

client.login(token);

Most of the code is intact. The Discord.Collection() is a wrapper around the JS Map Object with few added convenient methods. We read the /commands directory using fs and set the object using client.commands.set(..., ...). Inside the handler, we parse the incoming message, try to get a command object and execute it. At any stage, if we have an exception, gracefully inform the user.

Run the bot again via npm start. Though, we cannot detect any visible changes, we have refactored the code into much more tangible form. Let me talk about one more thing that I have ignored till now.

First command of Mayhem

EMBED MESSAGES

Currently, the messages sent by the bot to the channel are simple text messages which are unattractive and less appealing to our users. If you have experience with Discord bots, you maybe aware of colourful, sprawling messages with many fields, formatted texts and images. The Discord.MessageEmbed object in discord.js allows us to construct such messages. If you see the logic of the hi command, we are indeed constructing one.

// /commands/hi.js
...
	execute(message, args){
		const embed = new Discord.MessageEmbed()
			.setColor('#00ebc7')
			.setTitle(`Hello! ${message.author.username}`)
			.addFields(
				{name: `${bot_name} bot says...`, value: `Yo! Nice to meet you!`},
			)
			.setTimestamp();

		message.channel.send(embed);
	}
...

These are all obvious imperative methods that adds a particular field one at a time. For eg: You should deliberate on a color theme because it conveys your bot’s purpose and “vibe” to your users. The setColor() can be used to set a color. setTitle() adds a bold title to the message. The addFields() take up a JSON object and add all key-value pairs to the message body. The setTimestamp(), as expected, adds a timestamp field to the message.

SUMMARY

In summary, we have executed our first command, modularized our codebase and paved the way to breezy development and we know how discord.js handles channel events (via handlers) and about Discord.Collection(), Discord.Client() and Discord.MessageEmbed().

CHAPTER 3

In the last chapter of this guide, we looked at creating our first command, Discord.MessageEmbed(), and modularization. In this part, we’ll demonstrate API fetching and command aliases, while adding two new commands to our bot!

`meow` & `node-fetch`

The meow command is a simple command that queries a public API of cat pictures and sends one random, cute cat picture down in the channel. We will use the following endpoint:

https://aws.random/cat/meow

NOTE: If you wish to use an API that requires some kind of authorization, then you have to generate a secret key from a dashboard usually and feed this credential to your .env file (this step is more or less platform-dependent. For eg: replit provides a key-value based secret storage feature). Then, you can read that value via process.env.API_SECRET_KEY or likewise. Consult your API documentation and hosting provider documentation.

But to fetch on the server-side, we have to install a fetch-equivalent module on our server. This is achieved by the node-fetch package.

yarn add node-fetch # or npm install node-fetch

Now, let us implement the meow command.

// New file: /commands/meow.js 
const fetch = require('node-fetch');
const {prefix} = require('../config.json');

module.exports = {
	name: 'meow',
	description: 'Coz everyone likes cats!',
	usage: `${prefix}meow`,
	cooldown: 10,
	execute(message, args){
		const file = fetch('https://aws.random.cat/meow')
			.then(file => file.text())
			.catch(err => { 
				console.error(err);
				message.channel.send(`An Error was encountered while executing that command.`);
			});
		message.channel.send(JSON.parse(file).file);

	}
}

The meow command

Once again, the code is obvious and there is no element that requires an explanation as such. The “cooldown” parameter will be dealt with in another command. But, you can probably guess it is to prevent a indirect DDoS attack on the cat server by bad actors and/or bots.

`help`

Good UI/UX don’t require a manual to be used. So, like every good software, we will provide a handy help command for potentially new users of our bot. This command will demonstrate sending personal direct messages and command aliases.

The design of the messages is decoupled from the logic. Feel free to make your bot as snazzy as possible.

// New file: /commands/help.js
const {prefix, version,bot_name, bot_author} = require('../config.json');
const Discord = require('discord.js');

module.exports = {
	name: 'help',
	description: 'Display all available commands',
	aliases: ['h','?'],
	execute(message, args){
		const data = [];
		const {commands} = message.client;

		if(!args.length){
			// show all commands
			data.push(`This is the ${bot_name} Bot version ${version}`);
			data.push(commands.map(command => command.name).join(', '));
			data.push(`Use ${prefix}help [command name] to get details about [command name]`);
			data.push(`All commands are prefixed by the ${prefix}`);
			data.push(`\n\nSend your love to ${bot_author} ;)`);

			// split: true splits the message into separate messages if char count > 2000
			return message.author.send(data, {split: true})
				.then(() => {	// DM as help message can get messy
					if(message.channel.type === 'dm') return;
					message.reply('I\'ve sent you a DM');
				})
				.catch(error => { // the case when user has DM disabled must be gracefully handled
					console.error(`Could not send help DM to ${message.author.tag}.\n`,error);
					message.reply('I can\'t DM you. Do you have DMs disabled?');
				});
		}else{
 ...

As you can see, message.author.send(...) is used to send a message to the original message author’s DM. If a bare help is invoked, we inform the user of our commands personally and ask them to explore more by using the format help [command name].

Once again, the aliases field will come handy in the next part of this function.

...
	}else{
			const name = args[0].toLowerCase();

 // try to make a hit, either the command or its aliases
			const command = commands.get(name) || commands.find(c => c.aliases && c.aliases.includes(name));

			if(!command){
				return message.reply('Not a valid command -_-');
			}

			const embed = new Discord.MessageEmbed()
			.setTitle(`Help for ${command.name}`)
			.setColor('#02fede')
			.addFields(
				{name: 'Aliases', value: (command.aliases) ? `${command.aliases.join(', ')}`: 'There are no aliases for this command!'},
				{name: 'Description', value: (command.description) ? `${command.description}`: 'Currently no description available!'},
				{name: 'Usage', value: (command.usage) ? `${command.usage}`:'Currently no usage available!'},
				{name: 'Cooldown', value: (command.cooldown) ? `${command.cooldown} second(s)`: 'This command has no cooldown!'}
			)
			.setTimestamp();

			message.channel.send(embed);
		}
	}
}

help meow command execution

You can probably understand the workflow that discord.js promulgates. Here it is:

PARSE :right_arrow: EXECUTE :right_arrow: SEND

SUMMARY

In this post, we finally made an API call from our bot and served some cute cat pictures to our users. Now, the sky’s the limit for you! Moreover, we added a help command to be more organized.

CHAPTER 4

In the last part of this guide, we implemented the meow and help commands. Now, we will look at leveraging the API exposed by discord.js to implement cat, whatis, and rm commands.

`cat` & PRE-FETCHING

The cat command makes a query to another free API and displays interesting cat facts to our users. However, the API has only one endpoint and due to performance reasons, we cannot query the entire database each time a user makes request. So, the idea is to fetch the resource at startup time of the boot and save the data locally on the disk. This, though makes our bot more efficient and performant, has obvious disadvantages: What if the data on the API server mutates? But, we shall ignore such concerns as it is basically a database API.

Fire up your text editor and create this new file: fetcher.js.

# New file: /fetcher.js 
const fs = require('fs');
const fetch = require('node-fetch');
const {CAT_API_KEY} = require('./config.json');

async function writeData(){
	const data = await fetch("https://brianiswu-cat-facts-v1.p.rapidapi.com/facts", 
		{
			"method": "GET",
			"headers": {
				"x-rapidapi-key": CAT_API_KEY, 
				"x-rapidapi-host": "brianiswu-cat-facts-v1.p.rapidapi.com"
				 }
		})
		.then(response => response.text())
		.then(test_response => JSON.parse(test_response))
		.catch(error => {
			console.log(error);
		});

	let raw_data = JSON.stringify(data, null, 2);
	console.log(raw_data);
	fs.writeFileSync('./static/data/cat_data.json', raw_data);

	console.log('written.');
}
writeData();

To get your API Key, go here and follow the steps and put the key in your config.json likewise.

// FILE: /config.json
{
 "CAT_API_KEY": "kjsalkjwRlkjVNLKKJASHLl2l49SF2qlkjS",
}

The steps are obvious. We request the cat server with a /GET request and fetch all the data. If succeeded, parse and write that to a JSON file on the disk using fs.writeFileSync(). For convenience, we can update the yarn scripts to run this file before running bot.js on yarn start.

// FILE: /package.json
...
 "start": "node fetcher.js && node bot.js",
...

Now, we will add a new command cat to /commands. The basic structure remains the same. We export a JSON object with a execute(...) function and few other metadata.

// NEW FILE: /commands/cat.js
const Discord = require('discord.js');
const fs = require('fs');
const {prefix} = require('../config.json');

module.exports = {
	name: 'cat',
	description: 'An enlightening piece of cat fact that will change your life.',
	usage: `${prefix}cat`,
	cooldown: 5,
	async execute(message, args){
		let data_file_name = '\\cat_data.json';
		let data = JSON.parse(fs.readFileSync(__dirname + data_file_name));

 // choose a random cat fact from data
		let index = Math.floor(Math.random() * data.all.length);
		const factText = data.all[index].text;
		const upVotes = parseInt(data.all[index].upvotes);

		const payload = new Discord.MessageEmbed()
		.setTitle('Who wants a cat fact?')
		.setColor('#ffa500')
		.addFields(
			{name: 'Fact', value: factText},
			{name: '\u200b', value: '\u200b'},
			{name: 'Upvotes', value: upVotes}
		)
		.setTimestamp();

		message.channel.send(payload);

	}
}

Restart your app and test your new command!

Testing the cat command

`whatis` & COOLDOWNS

Urban Dictionary provides a free API to query its database. Furthermore, there is no need to generate a key or authorization token. We will be using this API to give our bot a sarcastic nature (you’ll soon see what I mean :winking_face:). The overall pattern remains the same. We construct the request using the querystring package. Just do yarn add querystring. The rest of the execute function handles exceptions such as zero-element list, network error during fetching, etc. Here is the code:

// NEW FILE: /commands/whatis.js 

const querystring = require('querystring');
const fetch = require('node-fetch');
const Discord = require('discord.js');
const {prefix} = require('../config.json');

module.exports = {
	name: 'whatis',
	description: 'Your own dictionary utility on Discord.\n\nNo googling or changing tabs :)',
	cooldown: 10,
	usage: `${prefix}whatis <search-term>`,
	aliases: ['def','define'],
	async execute(message, args){
		if(!args.length){
			message.reply(`fatal! You need to specify a search term.`);
			return;
		}

 // See: https://www.npmjs.com/package/query-string
		const query = querystring.stringify({term: args.join(' ')});
		
 // helper function to trim message to sizable chunks
		const trim = (str, max) => ((str.length > max) ? `${str.slice(0, max-3)}...`: str);

		const {list} = await fetch(`https://api.urbandictionary.com/v0/define?${query}`)
			.then(response => response.text())
			.then(textres => JSON.parse(textres))
			.catch(err => {
				console.error(err);
				message.channel.send(`An Error was encountered while executing that command!`);
			});
		
		if(!list.length){
			message.channel.send(`No results found for "${args.join(' ')}"`);
			return;
		}

		// just the first element
 // See: Array Destructuring
		const [answer] = list;

		const embed = new Discord.MessageEmbed()
			.setColor('#EFFF00')
			.setTitle(answer.word)
			.setURL(answer.permalink)
			.addFields(
				{name: 'Description', value: (answer.definition) ? trim(answer.definition, 1024): 'No description available!' },
				{name: 'Example', value: (answer.example) ? trim(answer.example, 1024) : 'No example available' },
				{name: 'Rating', value: (answer.thumbs_up && answer.thumbs_down) ?`${answer.thumbs_up} thumps up. ${answer.thumbs_down} thumbs down`: 'No rating available' }
			);

		message.channel.send(embed);
	}
}

Testing the whatis command. Aliases include: def and define

Cooldowns

You may have noticed the cooldown field. (In fact, it was introduced much earlier but I asked you to ignore it back then). Here, we will use it to add cooldown to our commands. As it is obvious, Indirect DDoS on external servers by repeatedly executing this command is obvious so we must prevent that for susceptible commands such as this.

Update your bot.js with the following code:

// FILE: /bot.js

...
 // use command.usage to improve UI/UX
	if(cmd.args && !args.length){
		let reply = 'You must provide arguments for this command';

		if(cmd.usage){
			reply += `\nThe correct usage of this command is:\n${prefix}${cmd.name} ${cmd.usage}`;
		}
		message.channel.send(reply);
		return;
	}

 // cooldown
	if(cmd.cooldown){
 // keep track of recent commands in cooldown period
		if(!cooldowns.has(cmd.name)){
			cooldowns.set(cmd.name, new Discord.Collection());
		}

		const now = Date.now();
		const timestamps = cooldowns.get(cmd.name);
		const cdtime = (cmd.cooldown) * 1000;

		if(timestamps.has(message.author.id)){
			const expirationDate = timestamps.get(message.author.id) + cdtime;
			
 // calculate how much time to wait
			if(now < expirationDate){
				const timeLeft = (expirationDate - now) / 1000;
				return message.reply(`You have to wait ${timeLeft.toFixed(1)} more second(s) to use the ${cmd.name} command`);
			}
		}

		timestamps.set(message.author.id, now);
 // clear timeout
		setTimeout(() => timestamps.delete(message.author.id), cdtime);
	}
...

Testing cooldown for whatis command

`rm` & EXCLUSIVE COMMANDS

Finally, I will show you how to implement exclusive commands using basic Discord ID and some workarounds.

We will write the rm command which (obviously) deletes messages from the channel. It expects an integer argument.

Each Discord user has a UserID. We will allow the command to succeed if the message author is authorized to use the command, else it will result in a failure.

// NEW FILE: /commands/rm.js
const {prefix} = require("../config.json");

module.exports = {
	name: 'rm',
	description: 'Prunes that many messages from current channel. (Reserved)',
	args: true,
	usage: `${prefix}rm <number>`,
	cooldown: 5,
	aliases: ['remove','prune','del','clear','cls'],
	permissions: [ '<AUTHORIZED_USER_ID>' ],
	execute(message, args){
		const count = parseInt(args[0]);

		if(isNaN(count)){ 
			message.reply(`${args[0]}: That doesn't look like a number to me`);
		} 
		else{
			// +1 to also delete the delete command
			message.channel.bulkDelete(count + 1, true).catch(err => {
				console.log(err);
				message.channel.send('Sorry, there was a problem encountered while pruning this channel');
			});
		}
	}
}

Finally, add a check in bot.js to use the permissions array.

// FILE: /bot.js
// permissions
// Uses the message.author.id to determine if author has privileges to use this command
	if(cmd.permissions){
		if(!(cmd.permissions[0] === message.author.id)){
				message.channel.send(`fatal: you can't use this command.\nDo you have enough privileges?`);
				return;
		}
	}

Phew, that has been a lot of concepts and coding! I hope you learnt something interesting and more importantly, got motivated to try out ideas of your own. Below are few commands that I added to my bot. None of them require any special explanation so I have only provided the code. You can also check this in the bot’s Github repo.

`ls` | LIST ALL COMMANDS

// NEW FILE: /commands/ls.js 
const {version, bot_name, bot_author, prefix} = require('../config.json');
const Discord = require('discord.js');
		const data = [];
		const {commands} = message.client;

		if(!args.length){
			const embed = new Discord.MessageEmbed()
			.setTitle(`This is the ${bot_name} Bot version ${version}`)
			.setColor('#fa5246')
			.addFields({name: 'Commands available', value: commands.map(command => '\t\t'+command.name).join('\n')})
			.setTimestamp();

			return message.channel.send(embed);
		}
		else {
			return message.channel.send(`ls doesn't support arguments now`);
		}
	}
}

`whereami` | BASIC INFO (practically useless)

// NEW FILE: /commands/whereami.js
const Discord = require('discord.js');

module.exports = {
	name: 'whereami',
	description: 'Tells you where you currently are. Immensely useful after a booze party ;)',
	usage: '',
	execute(message, args){
		
		const embed = new Discord.MessageEmbed()
		.setTitle('Where are you?')
		.setColor('#ff5470')
		.addFields(
			{name: `Channel name`,value: `${message.channel.name}`},
			{name: `Server name`, value: `${message.guild.name}`}
		)
		.setTimestamp();

		message.channel.send(embed);
	}
}

`whoami` | BASIC INFO (practically useless)

// NEW FILE: /commands/whoami.js
const Discord = require('discord.js');

module.exports = {
	name: 'whoami',
	description: '...Well, if it was a particularly cool booze party (For context: see whereami)',
	usage: '',
	execute(message, args){
		// message.channel.send(`Your username is: ${message.author.username}\nYour ID: ${message.author.id}`);

		const embed = new Discord.MessageEmbed()
		.setTitle('Who are you?')
		.setColor('#ff5470')
		.addFields(
			{name: `Your username`,value: `${message.author.username}`},
			{name: `Your ID`, value: `${message.author.id}`}
		)
		.setTimestamp();

		message.channel.send(embed);
	}
}

FURTHER DEVELOPMENT IDEAS

One can, in principle, go on and on, adding commands and polishing their bot but we have to stop somewhere. I think this will be a suitable time for me to stop. I built this Discord bot and thought it would be fun sharing the learning / building process. It suffices to say the bot is anything from “complete” or “presentable”. Here are few ideas that you can explore:

Use dotenv package to hide API keys in .env instead of config.json.
Implement an add/delete command to modify permissions.
Implement a modifier command to control cooldowns.
Explore Sockets (persistant TCP connections as in music bots, etc).
Polish the user interface.
Use better APIs.
Use a database somewhere in a creative manner.

DEPLOYMENT OPTIONS

Initially, I hosted the bot on heroku free tier and configured a ping to keep the instance alive but heroku stopped that so I had to find a solution quickly. replit is an innovative and exicting platform for young creators and developers. It is a delight to work in a repl, they have group programming, an in-house database, and so much more. Most importantly, they allow their instances to be pinged so my bot is basically online since a year with as little downtime as ~1 day! If you are passionate about your bot and want more power, consider joining their Hacker plan.

You can program directly in the replit web UI or connect a Github repo and import your code from there.

ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS

This is my first tech guide / tutorial on the web. What things worked for you? What did you not like? I would like to hear from you !

For the development of Mayhem, I heavily relied upon discordjs.guide , a well-explained document and the official Discord API docs .

A tour of the realist world of Edward Hopper

gs454236@gmail.com (Basil Labib) — Sat, 02 Oct 2021 13:31:02 +0530

American artist and painter, Edward Hopper, didn’t achieve much recognition in his lifetime. Today, critics laud his work as quintessential “American” in spirit as he developed a distinctive signature style. His personal life was fraught with toil and resentment as he watched his contemporaries rise to fame and fortune. He was a married man who had no children and his wife stood as a pillar of support, augmenting his intellect, emotion and career. He was a shy, quiet, somewhat reclusive artist who was appalled by abstract modernism and its advent in the American art landscape. He was cynical of critics who failed to share his viewpoint that art is an expression of an artist’s emotional conscience.

Nighthawks, Ed. Hopper, 1942, Oil on canvas, 33.125 x 60 in.

“Great art is the outward expression of an inner life in the artist, and this inner life will result in his personal vision of the world … The inner life of a human being is a vast and varied realm.”

~Edward Hopper

This post is my evaluation and learning of the man and his works.

DEVELOPMENT

Summer Interior, Ed. Hopper, 1909, Oil on canvas, 24 x 29 in.

Edward Hopper was the second child of Garrett H. Hopper and Elizabeth G. Smith, born in 1882 in Nyack, New York. Belonging to a middle-class household, he showed inclination towards art; a somewhat precocious child, he signed and dated his sketching from the age of ten. He was exceptionally tall, already six feets by his twelfth birthday and his physique isolated him psychologically from his peers through his life.

He read varied writers such as Victor Hugo, Arthur Rimbaud, Thomas Mann, Goethe, Marcel Proust, Emerson, Robert Frost, Henrik Ibsen, Ernst Hemingway avidly from his father’s library whom he remarked as “an incipient intellectual who never quite made it” and was intimately familiar with the writings of Sigmond Freud and Carl Jung.

After graduation from Nyack High School, he studied art at Chase School under the guidance of Robert Henri and Kenneth Hayes Miller. He took up a job as an illustrator to support himself but he resented that occupation throughout his life.

He travelled to Europe, visiting England, Holland, Germany and Belgium while staying at Paris in 1906 to 1907. He made two subsequent trips to Europe in 1909 and 1910 and brought with him an admiration for Paris and parisians.

“Paris is a very graceful and beautiful city, almost too formal and sweet to the taste after the raw disorder of New York. Everything seems to have been planned with the purpose of forming a most harmonious whole which certainly has been done.”

FRENCH INFLUENCE AND FINDING AN AMERICAN STYLE

Night Windows, Ed. Hopper, 1928, Oil on canvas, 29 x 34 in.

Hopper appeared at the New York art scene when critics and artists were talking about “cultural nationalism” — a phrase to emphasize a dire need for the artists, dramatists and writers to develop “a home-grown art, out of our own soil”. His early works influenced by French landscapes and philosophies, such as the monumental “Soir Bleu” rose to tepid critical acclaim in a group exhibition in 1915. These encounters made Hopper self-critical and demanding of himself as an artist. Self-doubtful, he grew cynical of critics:

“I don’t know what my identity is. The critics give you an identity. And sometimes, even you give it a push.”

…as for artists, he remarked:

“Ninety per cent of them are forgotten ten minutes after they are dead.”

All this not to form a cold, harsh image of the man. His sense of humor, though submerged, was profound. His youthful caricatures and cartoons hint at his playful side. In one from 1900, all four diners at a boardinghouse request chicked legs – to which the landlady remarked in visible disagreement: “Gentlemen, a chicken is not a quadruped”. His romantic nature is seen in etchings such as “Les Deux Pigeons” (1920) and “Summer Afternoon” (1947).

Morning in a City, Ed. Hopper, 1944, Oil on canvas, 44 5/16 x 59 13/16 in.

He only revealed his romance and intellectual sophistication to his wife Josephine Nivison to whom he was married till his death in 1967 for forty-three years. Jo, herself an artist, subjugated her career for her husband and was possessive of him, insisting on being the model for all his female figures.

Hopper insisted on his works being identified as an expression, a projection of his psyche and not a singular cultural pronounciation.

“The American quality is in a painter — he doesn’t have to strive for it”

He associated his art with his inner feelings as highlighted by a quotation by Goethe he carried in his wallet:

“The beginning and end of all literary activity is the reproduction of the world that surrounds me by means of the world that is in me, all things being grasped, related, retreated, moulded and reconstructed in a personal form and an original manner.”

Office at Night, Ed. Hopper, 1940, Oil on canvas, 22 3/16 x 25 1/8 in.

Now that we have a reasonable introduction to the man, onwards to his enthralling works.

SIGNATURE FEATURES AND ELEMENTS

Hopper’s paintings, especially, his city studies, grant us a unique, voyueristic, almost intruder’s perspective to peer into the lives of psychologically solitary figures. Someone on the internet said, “You can sleep inside an Edward Hopper painting”. Rightfully. The serene calmness of his painting, almost eerie tranquility and choice of a handful of figures give his painting a kind of vast metaspace for the viewer to reach in and explore. Take Western Motel, 1957, Oil on canvas, 30.25 x 50.125 inches and People in the Sun, 1960, Oil on canvas, 40 x 60 inches.

Western Motel, Ed. Hopper, 1957, Oil on canvas, 30.25 x 50.125 inches

Sharp perspective, crisp straight lines, vast spaces, huge window, the play of light and shadow and in the center of it, a blonde woman in red staring straight at the viewer. This painting represents almost all elements that came to be known as signature Hopper realism — sometimes carelessly termed “Hopperesque”, in his later work.

Almost perfect “realist” perspective of objects, slightly utopic; house walls without blemishes or moss outgrowths, roads and streets perfectly paved without a scar or imperfection. High Noon, 1949, Oil on canvas, 28 x 40 inches and Cape Cod Morning, 1950, Oil on canvas, 34 x 40 inches helpfully illustrates these qualities.

High Noon, Ed. Hopper, 1949, Oil on canvas, 28 x 40 in.

Solitary figures

Solitary figures are suspended in a frozen melancholic mood, as if they want to say so much yet they just exist. Direct, fixating gaze is also dramatically observed in Office at night where the secretary is looking at us with her upper body turned as her dress glaringly accentuates her figure. People in his painting are alone, terribly alone and contemplative. Perhaps the most famous of these people would be the lonely man in Nighthawks, donning a navy coat and a hat, with his back turned towards the audience as he sits solemnly at a New York diner late at night. Even in New York Movie, (one of my favourites), a painting of a theater’s interior with many people, he creates a magical portrayal of a sad and aloof lady, hands on her cheek, distant from the pandemonium and chattering of people. We forget about the theater and are somehow drawn towards her inspite of the opulence and happenings. Her mere appearance evokes sympathy in our hearts.

New York Movie, Ed. Hopper, 1939, Oil on canvas, 32.25 x 40.125 in.

Another of my favourite is Night windows, 1928, Oil on canvas, 29 34 inches, an intimate moment of a lady from a intrusive, almost voyueristic perspective. Further examples may be given of Evening wind, 1924, Etching, 67/8 x 81/4 inches, a nude in bed who is staring out the window as a brisk wind unfurls the curtains or Summer Interior, 1909, another of my favourite, a partial nude with head hung low and deep in thought against the side of her bed. Automat, 1927 (a semi-favourite), Moonlight Interior, 1921-1923 and Girl on Sewing Machine, 1921 are also often cited.

Automat, Ed. Hopper, 1927, Oil on canvas, 28.125 x 36 in.

Couples

Couples also feature in Hopper’s imaginative universe, but only as symbolic companions to each other. There is little intimacy or romance depicted. Nobody ever makes contact with anybody else. Hands on head (in distress?), nonchalantly looking out the window seemingly oblivious to the presence of their partner, coolly dozing with the back turned towards others, these couples are representative of Hopper’s personal experiences with romance and intimacy. In Summer Evening, 1947, a young couple, against glaring electric light are seen engrossed in a tussle, physically apart from each other, a conflict between themselves, a conflict within themselves? Their expressions and postures are forlorn and… quiet.

Summer Evening, Ed. Hopper, 1947, Oil on canvas, 30 x 42 in.

Or Room in New York, 1932, Oil on canvas, 29 x 36 in. (my favourite), we catch a young couple in visible agony as they are struggling to fulfill their relationship somehow, the young man intensely reading the newspaper and the lady, a distance apart, head bowed low, mindlessly striking a key at the piano and contemplating her life. The intrusive, almost voyueristic window perspective that we see them through makes us feel like we are prying into the personal affairs of two people but then how many people openly acknowledge they are in a failing marriage?

Room in New York, Ed. Hopper, 1932, Oil on canvas, 29 x 36 in.

More instances can be seen in Cape Cod Evening, 1939, Oil on canvas, 30 x 40 inches, Second Story Sunlight, Sunlight on Brownstones, 1956, Seawatchers, 1952, Summer in the City, 1949, Excursion into Philosophy, 1959 and Hotel by a railroad, 1952

Light and shadows

Figures staring out huge windows at bright, sunlit, almost delectable outside environments. Sunlight in a Cafeteria, Second Story Sunlight, Morning in a City, Morning Sun, Cape Cod Morning, High Noon, A Woman in the Sun.

Sunlight in a Cafeteria, Ed. Hopper, 1958, Oil on canvas, 40 3/16 x 60 1/8 in.

Sunlight

Rooms by the Sea, 1951, Sun in an Empty Room, 1963 and the beautiful Railroad sunset, 1929, Oil on canvas, 35 x 60 inches. I have always loved the sun!

Rooms by the Sea, Ed. Hopper, 1951, Oil on canvas, 29.5 x 40 in.

Closed interiors

House interiors, closed compartments like train coachs (Night on the El Train, Compartment C Car, Chair Car), lobbies (Hotel lobby), and rooms (Hotel by a Railroad, Hotel Window, Hotel Room) of course.

Night on the El Train, Ed. Hopper, 1918, Etching on copper, 7.5 x 8 in.

Working as an illustrator, Edward Hopper himself took the El Train back to his house. Paintings like “Night Windows” among many others certainly seem inspired by his observations from the train’s window. In this etching, he represents the pain and loneliness experienced by a big city dweller.

Architecture

House by the railroad, Room for Tourists, 1945. Cold Storage Plant, 1933, Lighthouse Hill, 1927 and City Roofs, 1932.

City Roofs, Ed. Hopper, 1932, Oil on canvas, 29 x 36 in.

House by the Railroad, Ed. Hopper, 1925, Oil on canvas, 24 x 29 in.

BIBLIOGRAPHY

Levin, Gail: Edward Hooper, The art and the artist; 1980 by W. W. Norton & Company.
Taschen, Benedikt: Edward Hooper, Tranformation of the real 1882-1967; 1990.
Mamunes, Lenora: Edward Hooper, Encyclopedia; 2011 by McFarland & Company, Inc., Publishers

A personal interpretation of 'The Matrix'

gs454236@gmail.com (Basil Labib) — Wed, 29 Sep 2021 08:59:33 +0530

I first saw The Matrix last year and like every person who has watched it since its release in 1999, it left my auditory and visual senses on overload and a gargantuan heap of information for my brain to process. A second viewing few days back, made me observe relationships and philosophies that escaped me in the first attempt. There are good reasons why The Matrix is discussed by critics even today from as varied perspectives as social, political, scientific, philosophical and of course, technological and has injected such appealing concepts and ideas in the public imagination that they have managed to pass into our vocabulary and lifestyles.

The Matrix

I am aware of the strong Biblical references and the view that Matrix is a modern day retelling of the story of Christ, repackaged to appeal to an audience enchanted by video games and television screens. I won’t dwell into well-debated and resolved interpretations. For more, see this essay by Read Mercer Schuchardt featured in Taking the Pill, ed. Glenn Yeffeth (And you thought, Matrix was just a movie?!). But first, for the uninitiated…

SYNOPSIS

Thomas Anderson (Keanu Reeves) is a programmer at a software corporation called Metacortex except he isn’t satisfied with…reality. By night, under the guise of Neo, he phreaks and hacks into computer systems. But, still a question lingers in his mind, like a splinter, what is the Matrix? With the help of Morpheus (Laurence Fishburne) and Trinity (Carrie Anne-Moses), he wakes up into the “real” world and learns that the world he lived in is a computer-generated reality to keep humans under control who now serve as energy sources for AI, that has come to rule the planet. Remnants of a nuclear winter where the sun never shines, humans no longer born but grown and Zion, the only remaining human city situated near the Earth’s core. He also learns that he is a reincarnation of the One, an entity with almost God-like powers in the Matrix, something akin to a superuser. He is also prophesised to destroy the Matrix and end the war against the machines.

Human farms

Sure enough, he saves Morpheus, falls in love with Trinity who brings him back from the dead after he’s shot inside the Matrix by an agent (independent programs developed by the AI to search and destroy people like Morpheus and Co. from plugging into the Matrix), resurrects and realises his true potential inside the Matrix. He can now see the “reality” inside the Matrix as it really is, bits of 1s and 0s flowing through circuits. As William Blake said,

“If the doors of perception were cleansed everything would appear to man as it is, infinite”.

What is the Matrix?

“The Matrix is the graduate thesis on consciousness in the sheep’s clothing of an action adventure flick.”
~Read Mercer S.

Indeed, consciousness is a prominent theme that the movie explores. As Morpheus asks, “What is real?” If you’re familiar with the hypothetical brain-in-a-vat experiment, then you might have had a wash of uneasy feeling when Morpheus goes on to describe how any sensation is just a stream of electrical signals to the brain. What makes it uneasy is the inevitable, starking truth of its possibility. In fact, I would like to argue that there is no need to build a Matrix because it is already here.

Not as explicit as keeping human crops enslaved in crimson pods and connected to mainframes via electrodes in our brain, the Matrix is the tumultous, unregulated and vapid cyberspace that has engulfed millions today. Politic agendas, religious dogmas, terrorism, abuses – there is a shrine for the most queer of disciplines in the garden of the ever-expansive Internet. The information we consume on the web governs our actions, responses and reactions towards others and the society. What’s extremely alarming is the inescapable fact that this is becoming the only conduit for information acquisition.

How many people read books today like they used to or go out and interact with real life people? Online relationships seem alluring as you can project what you want to be, and not what you really are. As another glaring example, take the rocketing rise and profitability of porn sites. The information poured into our brains today is the electrical signals that we unconsciously seek to forget the miseries of our “real” lives.

Trinity and Neo

THE MICRO-CELEBRITY EFFECT

I see another dreadful trend rising that which I call the micro-celebrity fever. Everyone has a platform to voice their opinions, no matter how obtuse, irrational, incorrect or even inhumane. In a recent study, India was the leading country for fake or misleading information about Covid-19 on the web. Humans, for the most part of our history, have been hunter-gatherers (We settled only after we discovered agriculture) and interacted with a ceiling of say, 100 people in our entire lives. But today, we can reach out to millions in the blink of our eyes. We don’t know how to behave. I can see nothing but a turbulent, sensitive and unstable society with localized fandom centering around micro-celebrities and pandemonium and chaos as these schools of thoughts adjust and negotiate to live together on this planet, if unregulated cyberspace is continued to flourish. (1)

THE RED PILL OR THE BLUE PILL

This metaphor took the newly spawned cyber-generation of the 2000s by storm as the WWW was being populated and the world migrated online. It essentially asks the question, “Given the possibility of agonising truth and blissful ignorance, what would you choose?” This is purely a question of the individual self whose answer, I believe, will be affected by factors like breeding, family, education, and so forth. What about me? I would choose the red pill. As Emerson said,

Rather than love, than money, than fame, give me truth.

“IGNORANCE IS BLISS” – A STUDY OF CYPHER

Cypher Reagan (played by Joe Pantoliano)

Mouse said during their nutritious dining time that “To deny our own impulses is to deny the very thing that makes us human.” And isn’t the very nature of humanity to be perpetually content and happy? Civilisation and the Age of Reason and Enlightenment of a few thousand years dwarfs in comparison to the millions of years of evolution that has engrained in our bodies the primal instinct for survival and procreation. Then, is it unfair to seek abundant food and ample sex even if it comes at the price of knowledge? This is the dilemma of the character of Cypher — the traitor to the group.

So, the question stands: Was Cypher right? For me, I would strive for the truth because as cliched as it may sound, truth propels civilisation. But like the many questions that the movie inspires and invites the audience to ponder, I would leave you with the pleasure to find an answer that satisfies you. However, for further indulgence, check out this essay by Robin Hanson .

THERE IS NO SPOON

If there was one line I could pick up from this movie, it would be this one: “There is no spoon”. This line initiates Neo on the path to accept the limitations of the system he is a prison of and to begin to manipulate it. It is line more on the philosophical, mental, even spiritual side of the mind; a mirror into the unknown potential we hold locked in ourselves and a herald to peer inside and unlock it. In a grosteque movie where humans are reduced to power sources for machines, this line is the pencil of hope. So, whenever you set out to do a seemingly impossible task, say to yourself, “There is no spoon”.

ART & LEGACY

Of course, to keep people glued to the screen and sufficiently intrigued throughout the ~120 minutes of the runtime, the Wachowski brothers had to flourish in the artisitic presentation frontier. And boy, is this movie a treat to the eye (apart from being philosophical and revelatory). As you are aware I hope, I’m a fan of movies that do not insult the intelligence of the audience. Matrix, thankfully, checks that box.

The first thing that a viewer will, perhaps, notice are the colours. The general colour palette for the movie is dull, murky green. There is an undertone of green in “inside” the Matrix scenes. This is, of course, not a coincidence. The green plays a significant role as it is the ubiquitous colour of CRT screens of the 1960-70s, where characters in bright pathological green glowed against the pitch black darkness. Thus, the Wachowskis ensured that we can differentiate between the Matrix and the real world in a sleek way. Similarly, screens, monitors, TVs, digital equipments, reflection shots inside the Matrix constantly remind us that there is “something” not real about this world, like a reflection in a mirror.

Notice the subdued green undertone

The famous “Matrix rain” (see above), a computer generated terminal green shower of Katana symbols flowing down the pitch black screen has become a symbol of techno and cyberpunk.
Even today, “plugged in” or plugging into the Matrix is a phrase roughly meaning engaged with technology intimately.
Latex! Here, there everywhere!
Neo’s room inside the Matrix. chef’s kiss. Also, of notice, was the Simulcra and Simulation reference, a strange philosophical treatise by a French into the nature of reality, symbols and society, in which he stores his programs.

Neo’s room inside the Matrix. Room in upheaval, keyboards and screens slewed everywhere. A scrawny man in a t-shirt. Welcome to the 1990s.

The visual effects ❤️. The sparring sequences, especially the martial art training of Neo is incredible. The bullet dodging scenes too. Also, to be noted is the slow-motion effects. As far as I know (AFAIK), such visual effects were never seen before. So, it set a benchmark for visual engineers.

The sparring program

THE QUESTIONS

Is the Matrix here already? What should be concerning is even if it is here, how do we know? The ride is so fun, nobody wants to stop. Would you give up email today? Or television? How about online chatting? Are you sure it is really the person you’re talking to or some clever computer program? (2) Ah, maybe but they are so convenient. Technology is making slaves of us while we are oblivious to the coup. The Matrix is designed, like Huxley’s “brave new world”, to oppress one not through totalitarian force, but through toltalitarian pleasure. Terrifying, when you think of it, isn’t it? Part of why The Matrix was such a rage. It opened a new continent of imagination, a new eye of inquiry and questioning.

Being moderately knowledgeable about AIs and technology in generally, I would like to put forth the assurance that AI as portrayed in the movie is not a possibilty, not even in the distant future. We are not that clever. Ironically, the problem is exactly that. We might not be extinct from an all-pervading self conscious program that turns against us but what about ourselves? As I have argued above, how are we going to survive in a turbulent and technoliterally varied demography? (3)

CONCLUSION

Being the visual treat, and massively appealing to the technogeeks out there, The Matrix asks the question, “Where are we headed?” and opens our eyes to one despicable possibility. But it also points us in the direction to liberation by simply saying, “There is no spoon”. It is in our hands if we choose to take the red pill or the blue pill.

FOOTNOTES

(0): I’m not sure how many people even read footnotes. I do and you read my blog so I assume you do too :) Well, as you have noticed, I’m experimenting with dropcaps (those initiate words in giant fonts to ease initiating reading). Tell me if you like them down in the comments?

(1): Am I a proponent of censoring the Internet? Is the reader inclined to think that I’m, in guise, trying to stifle freedom of expression on the Internet? No. Far from it. I’m simply noting anomalies and aberrations that I observe today. What is supposed to be done will be in the hands of the mass. But then again, how smart are the masses today? Or how self-less and honorable will be a single man if asked to make the decision for everyone? Too many questions, too few answers.

(2): I know there is no computer program yet that has passed the Turing test. But that is my point. If there were such programs, how would we ever be able to detect them?

(3): Meaning a population with different levels of knowledge about technology, their usage (and misusage), threats and responsibilities.

Sylvia Plath, The Bell Jar and feminism

gs454236@gmail.com (Basil Labib) — Mon, 27 Sep 2021 11:27:04 +0530

"What I hate is the thought of being under a man’s thumb", Sylvia fearlessly thundered in her only published novel “The Bell Jar”. Published in 1963, Jar is one of the prominent texts on feminism and the vocalisation of a woman’s apprehensions, rights and freedom. Sylvia’s words, like brazen dagger, are used today in protest marches as well as analysed in literary circles.

Sylvia Plath

Jar stands as testimony to the ephemeral skills of Sylvia as a writer. She took everyday objects and turned them into metaphors and similes that resonated with the soul. Her poetry is acclaimed for this and even in Jar, it can be noticed.

I saw myself sitting in the crotch of this fig-tree, starving to death, just because I couldn’t make up my mind which of the figs I would choose. I wanted each and every one of them, but choosing one meant losing all the rest, and, as I sat there, unable to decide, the figs began to wrinkle and go black, and, one by one, they plopped to the ground at my feet.

The metaphor of the fig tree represents her apprehension of being a failure in life inspite of all wonderful possibilities within her arms reach, due to doubt or uncertainty on her part. Most of us have felt this way atleast once in our lives and it is the spontaneity and common grounds of consolation that we find ourselves on with Sylvia that lends this metaphor its potency.

The silence depressed me, It wasn’t the silence of silence. It was my own silence.

Depression, self-doubt and mental illness forms recurrent and central themes in the novel. It reveals a vulnerable and wounded side of a woman. Sylvia openly writes about judging other women, an encounter with a misogynist that almost ended in rape, a subtle rejection, being embarrassed, wardrobe negotiations, mischiefs, and other “vulgarities” and trivialities of life with such eloquence, it is impressive.

My mind slipped from the noose of the thought and swung, like a bird, in the centre of empty air.

Jar is brimming with such wonderful similes and analogies.

Yet, what shines through in these lyrical sentences is the experiences that gave rise to them. Plath, known for a class of poetry called confessional poetry, struggled with clinical depression and turbulence in her life. Sample this:

“I felt it was very important not to be recognized.”

It is not difficult to picture Slyvia in place of Miss Esther Greenwood, the protagonist in Jar. Sylvia’s handful but potent poetry is still considered first class material in English literature and speaks against women oppression, freedom, rights, marriage, sexuality, child rearing and so forth. “Ariel” is considered the best among her collection which shot her into the limelight. Published in 1965 posthumously.

ON CHILDREN

Children made me sick.

Despite this, she bore two of them. What was it? The overpowering of her rebellious spirit by the craving of motherly love or the overpowering of her rebellious spirit by the current of societal norms?

If I had to wait on a baby all day, I would go mad.

A man doesn’t have a worry in the world, while I’ve got a baby hanging over my head like a big stick, to keep me in line.

I have noticed that men have a general desperation in speaking on these matters as if in a vain attempt to get rid of the guilt of not being the one who bears the child. Now, men are not at fault of being selected by natural selection to be the sperm donor. But the point is, this doesn’t give men a right to speak on matters that they cannot really experience. The best way to behave for a man, IMHO, would be to be respectful and kind towards the other, even if it is not justified. That is chivalry, isn’t it?

ON MEN

With Ted Hughes

The trouble was, I hated the idea of serving men in any way.

I felt the first man I slept with must be intelligent, so I would respect him.

I like this woman.

ON HERSELF, BEING A WOMAN AND FIGHTING MENTAL DEPRESSION

The silence between us was so profound I thought part of it was my fault.

While walking with a girl who, like her, had won a month long scholarship to New York. They were on uneasy terms. A passing note, men are different from women in this regard. Even if two are arch nemesis of one another, they’ll still receive each other with open arms and whole hearts. Disdain and competition is, and should be, confined to the profession.

What did I think was wrong?
That made it sound as if nothing was really wrong, I only thought it was wrong.

Wow.

On receiving electrotherapy at a mental asylum.

I wondered what terrible thing it was that I had done.

Multiple suicide attempts (tried to drown, swallowed pills, slit her veins) and descend into mental deterioration.

“I knew when I was beaten.”

“I wanted to be where nobody I knew could ever come.”

“I am, I am, I am.”

DISAGREEMENTS

What does a woman see in a woman that she can’t see in a man?
Doctor Nolan paused. Then she said, “Tenderness”.

Ugh. Men can be tender too. I know it.

And I knew that in spite of all the roses and kisses and restaurant dinners a man showered on a woman before he married her, what he secretly wanted when the wedding service ended was for her to flatten out underneath his feet like Mrs Willard’s kitchen mat.

What sort of men were you hanging out with, dear?

THE CHARACTER OF MISS ESTHER GREENWOOD

Bell Jar was received with mixed acclaims and disdain by critiques. Perhaps, because of the explicit description in the second half of the book inspired by Plath’s own multiple suicide attempts and experiences of treatment at a mental institution. The first half is commendable and novel in its own right as she draws a picture of her protagonist as an independent, hopeful young woman. She is loud and vocal and indifferent to societal norms pertaining to female etiquette.

I hate handing over money to people for doing what I could just as easily do myself, it makes me nervous.

Sylvia constructs her character not as a woman a man would be pleased to read about but as a woman as she really is.

There is something demoralizing about watching two people get more and more crazy about each other, especially when you are the only extra person in the room.

She shamelessly admits her craving for jewellery and clothes and food. How she plots and strategises on the dinner table to have all of the caviar without sharing with her friends.

RELEVANCE OF ‘THE BELL JAR’

I see Jar as a touchbearer for a different interpretation of life, society and the status quo. Feminists, especially young ones, express their pleas in a manner that subtly blames man for all the trouble and misery and so forth. I think that is wrong and malformed. Man never asked for any of his roles in the natural order of things. If the woman think they are ill-treated (and I acknowledge that) then so is man. It certainly offends me the way some think of feminism as a “Us versus them” debate. The real monster is the set of ideas that dictate disparity and discrimination based on gender. It must be noted, and this is important, that such ideas can flourish in any human’s mind, irrespective of gender. I think texts like Jar empowers people, especially men to introspect and correct themselves. As Plath knew, nobody is perfect. This is why I think Jar should be read by more men than women today.

THE SYLVIA PLATH SYNDROME & ARTISTIC EXPRESSION

“The Sylvia Plath Syndrome” is a condition of severe mental illness that plagues an artist and threatens their life. Her explicit suicide, at the tender age of 30, by shoving her head in an oven while her two children were in another room, is evidence of the untold difficulties that woman had to go through, that is, until Sylvia stood up and chose to protest them. The thorny questions it raises even today is: Where do we go wrong? To coerce a young soul into such pain that the only escape they see befitting is taking their own lives? Are we any different today? How are we safeguarding artistic creativity and freedom today?

CONCLUSION

“The Bell Jar” is a text repeatedly held to light and examined from different prisms. It is a text debunking the ideal woman figure and casting her in a new light, as a real woman with her flaws and strengths. Together with pioneers like Simone de Beauvoir (“The Second Sex”) and Virginia Woolf (“A Room of One’s Own”), young Sylvia Plath stands in great company and continues to inspire both young men and women alike.

The IIT Dream: Decoding India's lust for engineers

gs454236@gmail.com (Basil Labib) — Sat, 18 Sep 2021 14:05:39 +0530

India suffers from an unusual sort of disease today. Spotted on walls in metropolises and small towns alike, will be colorful posters with portrait sized photos of teenaged students, posing in institute branded t-shirts with big proud smiles on their faces and occasionally V signs made with fingers. Accompanying them will be a number AIR XXXX, decreasing in font size and prominence as the numbers grow larger as if to suggest a decrease in the importance of the student and their aptitude. This is the description of a typical Indian coaching institute advertisement, a booming billion dollar industry, used to lure students and sell them the IIT dream.

India, given the moniker the land of engineers, is home to the reputed Indian Institute of Technologies (IITs), a cohort of elite technological institute considered equivalent to the US Ivy League institutes such as MIT. The legacy of these institutions, envisioned by the first PM of India Pt. Jawaharlal Nehru as centres of technological excellence, is evident in today’s world. Fortune 500 companies actively seek out IIT graduates, most Silicon Valley MNCs have IITians at their spearhead frequently quoted among them is perhaps Mr. Sunder Pichai, CEO of Google Inc, a subsidiary of Alphabet Inc. Further, it is not surprising to note that most unicorns (private startups with over a billion dollar valuation), found by IIT graduates, are shaping the future of the youthful country. IIT achieves this via a rigorous and unique teaching pedagogy. It ensures flexibility in coursework, early industry exposure and a cornucopia of tinkering and opportunities. The IIT alumni is strong and well-recognized throughout the world, with leading researchers and enterpreneurs calling the IITs their alma mater. It is also telling by the fact that the number of IITs has risen from mere 6 in 1991 to 23 in 2018.

With the almost mystical aura, hype and promise of a bright future, the IITs are highly in demand in the second most populous country in the world (soon to be first). Getting admitted into IIT is a gruelling and highly competitive affair in India. High school graduates have to take the JEE Advanced, the sole conduit for admission, a 6 hour objective examination in Physics, Chemistry and Mathematics. The blind and uninformed craze of getting into an IIT is what powers the $40 billion+ coaching industry in India.

The psychology

The self-enforcing Indian fervour of IIT can be traced to few factors:

Poor households
Glorification by coaching institute. Insitgated.
Lack of imagination and freedom

Poor households

Perhaps the strongest driving force is poverty. India is a third world country. Most of its population is still below poverty line. The top 10% of the population owns 50% of physical assets. Corruption, inequality, ineffective welfare, outdated education, illiteracy – these are the variables India has to deal in. Parents, most of them who have grown in poverty and hardship and are wary of insecurity and distress they have endured, pour a significant portion of their incomes and even sometimes their entire savings on the hopes of their kid’s “better future”. How is this not different from disguised gambling on their own kid? (1)

Kota, the coaching capital of India, welcomes around 1,00,000 students to its coaching institutes each year for the sole purpose of preparation for JEE Mains (a preliminary exam) and Advanced. Many cannot keep up with the grueling and rigorous regime. Kota recorded ~70 suicides between 2013 to 2017 also earning it the grotesque sobriquet of the “suicide capital of India”. Exclusive focus to promising students and neglected attention to others cultivate a dreadful sense of worthlessness in these youthful minds. How many artists, musicians and sportsmen we have lost and are losing this way?

Glorification by coaching institutes

Today, these institutions have become behemoth profit maximization machines. Deprived of any state regulation, they have enjoyed unfettered growth under Economic Reforms 1991, a bill that encouraged private educational institutions. Big, catchy billboards stamped with beaming faces and numbers are supposed to speak for the repute and excellence of these institutions. Parents and students are enticed by claims that are often unchecked for credibility. This cut throat competition has resulted in degraded quality of education, a surplus of mediocre educational institutions in the market, rise in shady activities such as student and teacher poaching, bribery among others. Though these claims have not been investigated because as I said, India has bigger problems to deal with, they are certainly underway inside the glassed air conditioned walls of these firms. Human tendency is to pay heed to situations and problems that have a substantial visible destruction. This is why these activities have slipped through unnoticed, and damages the lifeblood and true value of this country – the shockwaves of which will be felt later.

The JEE Mains and NEET scam this year are instances of how nefarious practices have evolved around an examination in order to sustain what I call a pseudo-economy.

Lack of imagination and freedom

The typical Indian parents are wary of sending their kids on the “road less traveled”. As it has been noted, Indian parents crave security as they are aware of otherwise. Marriage requires a respectable job, and a respectable job requires a respectable degree. But nobody asks the kid of what they wants to do. Of course, they are all reassurances, having watched web series and mainstream Bollywood movies that brought these issues out of its tabooistic stasis (3 idiots and Chhichhore come to mind) and vowing never to be that “kind of parent”. Perhaps, it’s the guilt that kicks in. (2) Though one may sympathize with the parents’ concerns, here is the fallacy in their reasoning: The world is changing at an exponential rate, hence the change faced by kids today is many factors of what they faced as kids themselves. Their minds are a victim of linear extrapolation of an exponential function — which is obviously disastrous.

Moreover, to note is the fact that the major fallout of this disaster is bore by the child, who is essentially committing to a lifestyle decided by their parents in lieu of the minor fallout of the parents who have already spent most of their lives. It is very difficult for a sufficiently talented individual to starve to death in a modern society. Even “absurd” (as Indian parents would no doubt love to put it) talents like comic drawing and magazine design have successfully built an empire around themselves. What parents should strive to cultivate and I cannot emphasise this enough, is a love of learning. Of facilitating the process for them to find out what they love. That is where true value lies in a society.

Please note that the author doesn’t claim that the IITs or even the coaching industry are a nuisance. On the contrary, his grievances lies with what Nietzsche calls the “herd psychology” — the frivolous hype created around one particular examination.

Footnotes

(1): This won’t count as investment as the will of the kid is not acknowledged or even entertained.

(2): Your author can personally vouch for this guile and hideous behaviour, being a victim of it himself.

31 Years of 'Heaven or Las Vegas'

gs454236@gmail.com (Basil Labib) — Fri, 17 Sep 2021 10:18:49 +0530

Most CT fans agree (and frankly, there ain’t many) that Heaven or Las Vegas is their definitive production: ephemeral and sublime, cocky song titles and discernable vocals, sweet sounds and fragments of bitter lyrics, it is a very Twins album in spirit. Garlands (1982), their debut, was too much on the punk and goth style, a desperate searching phase for their identity which was fulfilled by Treasure (1984), a commendable opus in itself. But it is Heaven or Las Vegas or a song therein, that the CT are most remembered for.

Heaven or Las Vegas, Cocteau Twins, 1990

Like each of their album, HOLV has a balanced mix of slow and swift music. “Pitch the Baby” is a fast moving song with very understandable lyrics sung by Liz. In fact, many songs on HOLV such as “Iceblink Luck”, chorus of “Fotzepolitic” and of course, “Heaven or Las Vegas” can be understood in the sense that certain phrases and fragments of words can be deciphered which is a lot to ask for considering the band’s previous output.

The last track, “Frou-frou Foxes in Midsummer Fires”, aside from being a signature CT track, has one of the most curious and bizarre song title I have come across in recent memory. Leave it to the Cocteaus for enigmatic and funny song titles; “High Monkey Monk”, “Sugar Hiccup”, “The Spangle Maker”, “The Itchy Glowbo Blow”, “Ella Megalast Blurs Forever” and some that conjure happy, ethereal images like “A Kissed out Red Float Boat”, “Spooning Good Singing Gum”. Most of these quirky titles belong to HOLV’s predecessor, “Blue Bell Knoll” of 1988.

It is quite a task to decipher the meaning of the lyrics. Most of what Liz wrote was just random words and phrases that “sounded” right (which she further distorted as she sang). But that is not to say, all CT songs are gibberish. There are strong undertones of gender disparity, struggles of bad marriage, adultery, motherhood, feminity in much of her songs. “Summerhead” (“Are you the right man for me? Are you my friend?”) is a strong woman vocalizing her doubts, “Pitch the Baby” and “For Phoebe Still a Baby” (BBK) talks of motherhood, “I Wear Your Ring” certainly highlights the hopes and desolation of a newly wed. There are novel experiments too such as “Melonella” (Echoes in a Shallow Bay) which is literally a list of various species of butterflies sung as a song.

First song, favorite album and such things

I remember my very first CT song was “Fotzepolitic” (Ok, it was “Perly Dewdrops-drop” technically but shhh…) and I still relive that moment everytime I listen to the song. The shimmering guitars, rhythm, the unusual melody and Liz’s angelic vocals almost made it an auditory painting — not to be seen, but listened. I remember going like, “What on earth is this?!” because it was so different from the rock that I had expected.

My dreams are alone,
They’re sick and must be dross.
They’re young girls dreams…
~verse 1, Fotzepolitic

and then the refrain which she loops over and over again in the outro,

See and saw bounce me back to you.

To say HOLV is my favorite CT album is not a outrageous thing to say but it is certainly not accurate. I love HOLV (I even have their CDs bought with the first money I earned!). I also love Treasure and some of BBK, Milk and Kises, Four Calendar which is nothing to say of their large and equally magnificent EP produce (Check out “The Spangle Maker” or “Domino”).

Today HOLV turns 31 which is almost twice my age! I abhor that I was born in the 21st century which is just war, diseases, repulsive music and capitalism. It is my most sincere (and perhaps most daft) wish to be reborn in 80s Britain – to be surrounded by all these punk, rock, progressive artists. Ah.

Listen

'Please myself': An interpretation 30 years later

gs454236@gmail.com (Basil Labib) — Sat, 11 Sep 2021 08:02:53 +0530

Polly, a common American girl name, quickly rose to fame as the 6th songtrack on Nirvana’s second album, Nevermind, one of the best-selling albums of all time, having sold over 30 million copies since its release in 1991.

Polly became a conversation starter, an ice-breaker, a household catalyst for people everywhere to talk about woman abuse. Polly is a protest song, a song born out of the anguish that Kurt felt for the condition and treatment of woman in the society. It has often been dubbed as Nirvana’s “darkest” song – which, in my opinion, is a fairly glorified sobriquet because most of Nirvana’s songs are dark and ghastly.

Polly is striking from the moment the first two lines of the verse are sung. The simple chord progression that Kurt repeats over and over again throughout the song draws the audience in to suspend the job at hand and listen which is what he wants the audience to do. Unlike, the other songs on Nevermind which are loud and choked of wailing guitars and pounding drums, making it a task for the brain to process the lyrics, Polly is eerily antithetical.

Structure of the song

Let me spare a few lines to talk about the simple structure of Polly. Most of Nirvana songs are simple in structure, generally following the rock song structure with minimal lyrics, often the same phrase repeated over and over again for chorus as seen in “Lithium”, “Breed”, “Smells like Teen Spirit” and “Stay Away”.

4 bars of a simple Em-G-D-C progression repeated twice forms the intro followed by the first verse and chorus. A 8 bar break followed by the second verse and the chorus. Then, interestingly there is a little interludic bass solo by presumably Krist Novoselic. The outro is marked by the third verse and the chorus. That’s it. Drums are non-existent, the over-driven electric guitar is traded for an acoustic and the progression is the same throughout.

The lyrics

“Polly wants a cracker
I think I should get off her first”

Kurt puts us straight into the shoes of the rapist. This choice of perspective is a genius of Cobain who crafts a song that is chilling and introspective at the same time. Not only do we get a glimpse of what goes on in his mind, it compels us to ask ourselves how we would have reacted in such a situation. Kurt sings, in a disconnected, nonchalant tone expressing the casual mindset of the rapist, harsh and striking words and never in complete sentences which is almost a signature of the band. But those phrases give us enough clue to pieces together everything we need, a ghastly portrayal of an outrageous and vicious crime.

“I think she wants some water
To put out the blow torch”

The lyrics get extremely vivid and explicit, the imagery are very disturbing as it goes on to describe everything that happens to the girl as the rapist sees it. A 14-year old girl was kidnapped from a local rock concert in Tacoma, Washington in the August of 1987 by a man with a history of such crimes. She was raped and tortured with a blow torch while hanging upside down.

“Isn’t me, have a seed
Let me clip your dirty wings”

We can listen to the rapist’s mind screaming in a state of confusion and delusion, asking itself what to do next. He is in a deliberation with himself if he should bring the girl some water or whether he should untie her.

“Want some help, please myself”

Perhaps, the most disconcerting is the last line of the chorus. It bares before us the motive of the crime. The criminal isn’t capable of sustaining himself. From his perspective, he is in need of help. And believes that the girl can help him. What do we understand about the psychology of this feeble man? He is vicious and self-imposing and yet his malices are motivated by a desire to be pleased. Though, there is nothing wrong with wanting to be please yet the path that this man takes is evil and that is the underlying conflict between the criminal and the victim.

When and how I was introduced to Nirvana

I was born more than a decade after Nevermind first hit the shelves of record stores. Moreover, I was born into the era of online streaming. I haven’t seen a record player, let alone held a vinyl record in my hands! (Not very happy about it, though) I was introduced to Nirvana quite late in my music exploration journey. I was mostly into rock those days and tried “Lithium” for the first time. The “Yeah” chorus sent me into a semi trance-like state. It was the embodiment of nonchalance, angst and everything teenager. The quirky lyrics and the instantly recognizable riff. I liked it. However, it was much later that I actually listened to “Smells Like Teen Spirit” and didn’t like it that much at first. On a second revisit, it became one of my favourite songs. And that’s how I listened to Nevermind. PS: I am still yet to listen to their entire discography which I have constantly procrastinated telling myself that I’m waiting for that perfect moment to listen to them!

Nirvana was a feminist band and why that’s important

Nirvana. From left: Krist Novoselic (bass), Dave Grohl (drums) and Kurt Cobain (guitar and vocals)

As you stroll through Nirvana’s song palace, one feature is consistently recurrent. Kurt, the principal songwriter for the band, cared about women. He was a feminist and pro-LGBTQ+ before these became mainstream and vocal which is a pretty cool thing. Most of his songs are marred by such lyrics:

“Never met a wise man, if so, it’s a woman”
~Territorial Pissings, Nevermind (1991)

“God is Gay”
~Stay Away, Nevermind (1991)

“Polly says her back hurts”
~Polly, Nevermind (1991)

“I don’t mean to stare, we don’t have to breed”
~Breed, Nevermind (1991)

So, when he heard about the crime, it was inevitable that he would leverage his position to get people talking. He often combined the freedom and expertise of his art with the prevailing social conditions and norms. Bob Dylan once remarked after listening to Polly, “The kid has got a heart”. Dylan was a folk singer-songwriter and widely acclaimed for his protest songs (“Times They Are A’ Changing”) of the 50s-60s and his role in shaping American history and minds.

There is a sweet parallel as Nirvana were seen as the spokesmen for the 90s generation to whom the squaling guitars and deafening sounds bore testimony to their inner angst and anger. Though, Kurt pioneered a completely different music genre called “Grunge Rock”, he was praised by a folk singer which goes on to say that art is ultimately a unified form.

In fact, art supercedes musics, generations and even other disciplines. I cringe when teachers and educators profess and segregate students. What is a microprocessor’s cricuit diagram if not art? Or the traverse section of a human heart? Anyone bold enough to express himself is an artist.

Notes, Footnotes and Credits

Nevermind was released on September 24th, 1991. In a couple of weeks, the album will turn 30 (Oh boy, it’s almost twice my age!). This post is my tribute to the band who spoke for a generation I have never known.
Footnote 1: Umm, Basil, why are there no weird he/she, him/her in this artice? Are the girls not represented? Good question. Please read this to understand the inherent limitation of the language I an working under .
I would like to thank Nerdwriter1 on YouTube. Check out his video for an audio visual experience. Also, I’d like to thank Micheal Azerrad for his book, “Come as you are: The story of Nirvana”.

Academic Dishonesty

gs454236@gmail.com (Basil Labib) — Sun, 05 Sep 2021 11:50:44 +0530

Today is September 5th which is celebrated as Teacher’s Day in India on the birth anniversary of Dr. Sarvepalli Radhakrishnan, an eminent educator, teacher and the first Vice President of India. As Indian students reach out to pay respect to their teachers via various gestures such as feet embracing albeit digitally this year, I wish to take this opportunity to speak about a much graver issue in the Indian education scenario today.

It is not unknown how the past two years have been an agonizing experience for teachers in educational insititutes. It is commendable how they have adapted themselves to the rapid demands of the new online paradigm during the pandemic. But there is an elephant in the room that apparently nobody wants to address. The breakdown of conventional testing mechanisms have led to rampant academic dishonesty amongst students in the untested domain of online assessment which have been adopted largely due to the lack of a better alternative. The most common excuses given by senior students, even good ones are: “It isn’t serious” or “I’ll study later”. I am in a particularly qualified position to speak because I have been on that side of the computer screen, safely tucked away from the sight of that one poor invigilator who has to remotely monitor a pack of thirty or so tech-savvy teenagers and simultaneously ward off network and technological issues on their part. And I know how tempting and easy it is to be dishonest in such a setting.

What educators must see is the immense damage it is doing and has done to our economy. As I believe I have said before, this pandemic is about to draw to a close due to minimally effective vaccination campaigns and the populace is inching towards herd immunity. But the real damage of this will not be felt in the next year or so, it will be felt a decade from now when this academically deprived, skill-less workforce will be asked to lead the nation. What kind of treatment would we expect from the doctors of the pandemic who have casually copied material from all over the internet and passed assessment. Where is the passion to actually understand something and not spend hours watching YouTube resting assured in the belief that the project can be copied from the internet? The effort made by students is gone. There is no driving force except the fear of not getting credits which they are sure they can.

This is a frontier on which the government, educators and the teachers have been ghastly ineffective. Academic disparity exists and it will compound. Imagine the subsequent degradation of quality as junior school children now, who cannot read alphabets or perform basic mathematical calculations are asked to assimilate more advanced learning material. How will they cope? And more importantly, how will India recuperate from its state of lethargy and denial?

Remembering My Teachers

gs454236@gmail.com (Basil Labib) — Sun, 05 Sep 2021 10:20:28 +0530

“The right kind of education begins with the educator, who must understand himself and be free from established patterns of thought; for what he is that he imparts. If he has not been rightly educated, what can he teach except the same mechanical knowledge on which he himself has been brought up?”
~J Krishnamurti

NR Narayan Murthy, the founder of Infosys, recounted three incidents in his life that taught him core human values and left an indelible mark on him. The first was when his senior school Chemistry teacher taught him the difference between community and personal property and how to treat each of them. Second was the quest for global excellence in whatever one chooses to do by his meticulous and obssessed engineering prof and finally the importance of starting any transaction on a zero base by his boss at IIM-A. These are incredible life lessons and as I sat pondering how my tryst with teachers have played out, I found myself reaching for my diary. I am privileged to write that I have learned many things from them – both inside the textbook and outside.

Everybody gets a degree but few people change the world and it is my strong conviction that such influences must originate outside the syllabus. It must originate in sincere and passionate dialogue between two willing individuals, one willing to share their wisdom and another desperate to learn.

I remember two teachers in my 5th and 6th grade respectively who encouraged me and played a seminal role in sparking my imagination. The malleable time when the mind of a child is so supple that it can be moulded by hands. And they encouraged me. I remember I made an elaborate robot out of cardboard inspired by an anime called Little Battlers’ Experience . I remember designing it for hours and sitting on my terrace measuring, cutting, gluing. I don’t even know where she is right now.

Then, I designed an evaporator for separating mixtures and built it in 6th grade. Studies weren’t so oppressing and I had time back then. There weren’t a thousand things to consider, no games to play with people and life was full of possibilities (Don’t get me wrong, they still are. Only that now the possibilities have shifted, they are more practical and nuanced). Thank you, Monisha ma’am.

I believe it was 9th grade Biology class when I asked Taniya ma’am about the behavior of parasites and how I felt it was unfair and she simply said, “Basil, many things in life are unfair”.

In 11th grade Chemistry lab, I learnt that it is important to ask questions, even silly questions, no matter how great I become, no matter my reputation. In fact that is the only way to truly learn and grow, to be ruthlessly humble. And I thank Maity sir for teaching me that.

Dead Teachers

It is funny how I have teachers who I cannot meet even if I wanted to because they are long dead. They are the authors of innumerable books that have shaped my psyche and conscience and become a part of it. As I have read their words, I have felt more close to them than I have to few acquaintances in real life. I thank you all. I really do.

The greatest of teachers

And why should I just express my formality and thank people? I thank you, life. For teaching me so much and I’m looking forward to learning so much from you. I thank you for making me laugh and making me cry. All those nights of gloom and few bright days. All the opportunities I missed and those I yielded. All friends I made, all friends I lost. All mistakes I committed. I thank you for it all.

The Sensuality of Rilke's Love Poems

gs454236@gmail.com (Basil Labib) — Sat, 04 Sep 2021 09:04:40 +0530

I tell you that I have a long way to go before I am – where one begins…

These are Rilke’s first words that I read. I had no prior acquaintance with either the man or his writings, save for a curious Google search on a Cocteau Twins’ song called Rilkean Heart . And yet, I immediately felt a tug towards these words, gyrating around them, twisting and turning them in my head, trying to make sense of it. Perhaps, just perhaps, Rilke would know the storm that was raging in me?

Rainer Maria Rilke (1875-1926), an Austrian poet and novelist

I hate to read criticism first because they have a subtle and malicious effect of ruining the person, dictating my thoughts to flow in a certain way – the way the critique finds most suitable. So, I read the man. And I think I love his writings. Maybe, I am too naive to truly understand what he’s saying (reasonable because I’m only eighteen) but come to think of it, does anybody ever gets to understand anything? PS: I do read the essays afterwards to get a well-rounded education.

This post will primarily focus on his views on love, the feminine and solitude because

That is what I have read so far.
I cannot get myself to think of anything but love and solitude.
I am just plain lazy.

Probably the third point is the most relevant.

Advice & solitude among other things

On loneliness

At bottom no one in life can help anyone else in life;
this one experiences over and over in every conflict and every perplexity;
that one is alone.

Oh. Brutal but true AF.

+++

The more one is, the richer is all that one experiences.

What exactly does he mean by “more one is”? More in what respect? I think more knowledge, more wealth, more authority. Poetry comes late to a hungry stomach. As beautiful as it might be to assume the idealistic projections of life that are conjured in stories and films plays out in the real world, they don’t. But to strive to inch closer to those projections is an essential element to fulfilling one’s life which must begin with the objective of security and abundance. In those silent moments, man would be more able to experience thus making him richer and not vice versa.

+++

In the summer of 1909, he wrote:

…….. these soft
nights hold me like themselves aloft
and I lie without a lover.

Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. These ravenous nights filled with hollow sounds and subdued whimpers.

On the labor of love

There is scarcely anything more difficult than to love one another. That it is work, day labor…God knows there is no other word for it.

Day labor. Remember.

+++

There is nothing happier than work, and love, just because it is the extreme happiness, can be nothing else but work.

“There is nothing happier than work”. For what is an idle mind if not the devil’s workshop?

Advice to young lovers

There are such relationships which must be a very great, almost unbearable happiness, but they can occur only between very rich natures and between those who, each for himself, are richly ordered and composed, they can unite only two, wide, deep, individual worlds.

(Bold text mine own)

Though, Rilke tactly pointed out what one must be, he doesn’t say anything on how to be and that has kinda pissed me. He has left the hard part of figuring that out for the reader but then I suspect the process must be unique.

+++

They must not forget, when they love, that they are beginners, bunglers of life, apprentices in love – must learn love, and that (like all learning) wants peace, patience, and composure!

Only if philanders of today could understand the nobility of love. It is not an easy enterprise to be undertaken solely to get rid of boredom or to have pleasure or fun or for any other self-vested interests because to love is not to have but to give.

The sensual nature of Rilke’s poems

Sensuality, longing, solitude and an open discussion of sexuality especially the feminine is a glaring element in Rilke’s poems. His symbolism and metaphors are far from subtle and generally borders on the obvious. Yet, how he manages to express his exasperation with such ease and lyric is a source of marvel for me. Take for instance the question he asked at the beginning of a poem,

What fields are fragrant as your hands?

Those are perhaps the most tightly woven seven words that captures the masculine attitude. I have this idea that though physically it seems like the female submits to the male in union, again society has strongly influenced this mindset, yet psychologically it is the male who submits to the female. What else does a man want but to keep his wife satisfied? It is not uncommon for young lovers to patronise their partners in passion or awe or a mixture thereof, which IMHO has merits and demerits. Like everything in the matter of love, answers are not straightforward or even existent.

+++

And then in a moment of defiance, out of sheer desire, he commands:

Give me your mouth to soften, love
ah, your hair is all in idleness.

“your hair is all in idleness”. Ah.

+++

The following poem caught my attention for it’s sheer explicitness:

How I called you. This is the mute call
which within me has grown sweet awhile.
Now step after step into you I thrust all
and my semen climbs gladly like a child…

+++

And then in the July of 1924,

(Since I wrote you, sap sprang free
in the masculine blooming,
which is rich and puzzling
to my very humanity.

Do you feel, distant dear miss,
since you are reading me,
what sweetness fuses willingly
in the feminine chalice?)

+++

In the October of 1915, he wrote probably my favourite of his so-called “Seven Phallic Poems”:

You don’t know towers, with your diffidence.
Yet now you’ll become aware
of a tower in that wonderful rare
space in you. Hide your countenance.
You’ve erected it unsuspectingly,
by turn and glance and indirection,
and I, blissful one, an allowed entry.
Ah, how in there I am so tight.
Coax me to come forth to the summit:
so as to fling into your soft night,
with the soaring of a womb-dazzling rocket,
more feeling than I am quite.

Of failing love

How the too ample space has weakened you and me.
Superfluity recollects itself suddenly.
Now wormwood and absinthe trickle through silent
sieves of kisses of bitter essence.

Probably, I shouldn’t be reading depressing poems? But I can allow myself to pain a bit I think.

Love As An Illegitimate Byproduct

gs454236@gmail.com (Basil Labib) — Fri, 03 Sep 2021 10:18:22 +0530

Evolutionary biology has always fascinated me. I have marveled at the ingenuity of evolutionists drawing up elegant theories, piecing together the most bizarre of observations with a string of sound reasoning. I guess the quality of making logical sense of the alien world we find ourselves in makes evolution appeal to me.

Recently, I read Jared Diamond’s “Why Sex is Fun?”, a short book (a series of essays really) about human sexuality and how it differs so radically from every other species we know of. His words and reasoning reminded me of Dawkins’ “The Selfish Gene” – particularly nostalgic where the spermatozoa and oocyte structural discrepency and Zahavis’ principle of handicap signals; however, the prose was much easier to read than Selfish. Evolution is much like astronomy / cosmology in a certain way – both instills humility in a manner no other subject can.

A word of caution: Please don’t read this book if you have a certain preconceived notion of reality and would feel enraged if someone dared question it.

As I was reading through the text, I couldn’t help but confront an inescapable truth: love is an unnecessary aberration. Outrageous and scandalous as it might seem, it is an inevitable fact that follows naturally from our physiology, behavior, and of course natural selection. What makes natural selection so damn powerful is the fact that it is a single idea grounded in the most mathematical sense and yet can virtually explain every weirdness in the animal kingdom. If you have many different colored balls in a basket and you specifically took out certain colored ones, then over time, those other colored balls will increase in number. Natural selection is not a philosophers’ imagination or a physicists’ hypothesis, it is a certainty so undeniably when one sees it.

What’s funny is the fact that selection happens at the genetic level, not at the organism level. We are mere containers of convenience for those innocuous dictators who have controlled us since before we were even us.

Monogamous matrimony

Why did monogamous matrimony evolved in human societies when it is virtually non-existent in other mammal species? It is “obvious” that post-copulation male desertion of the female and successive search for other females for impregnation must be the optimal behavior for the male to ensure maximum propagation of his genes and hence, natural selection must favour it. And indeed, that is observed in the majority of mammal species. Then, what about us? It turns out, things are more involved than they seem at first glance. The human child is a relatively weak and helpless creature unable to sustain itself on its own. Further, the energy demands, food, protection from predators makes it a taxing situation for the single mother and often, they fail to raise the child. The male, thus, faced a dilemma whether to leave the mother and go on his philandering adventures regardless of the fact that his child dies (which is not favored since making those sperms and the act of copulating takes time and energy) or stay with the mother, ensure nourishment and protection but foreclose his other opportunities to spread his genes. It turns out that in humans, natural selection favored monogamy. Note that I have simplified the discussion here. There are other factors and more nuances to be considered and so on.

Concealed Ovulation

Another curious development is concealed ovulation in females. Consider female baboon who visually advertise their estrus with reddened and swelled vaginal region. But apparently, human females themselves are in the dark about their fertile phase. Why did we differ? The argument is the book is involved but equally enthralling. Actually, concealed ovulation evolved as a way to deter murderous, competitive males from killing her offsprings (who represent half of her genetic material) if they know when females are fertile in a society that was predominantly promiscous or harem-based. But when concealed, a male has to make love to her often in hopes of actually mating with her when it matters. This prevents them to be hostile to her and her kids (who an outside male sees as competition to his genes and resources) in her “dispensable” days. But afterwards when societies developed monogamy, she began using her new feature as a mean of securing a “good caveman” – monogamous, loyal, responsible who brought resources and protection for the child because he must be invested in her if he ever hopes to have a child with her.

Recreational Sex

We can comfortable chip in the bizarre practise of recreational sex here too. Other species have a narrow time to mate, not so with us. Females are sexually receptive almost through the cycle. Why? At first glance, it seems counter-productive that selection will favour an activity that is clearly a huge investment of time and energy and leaves parties vulnerable to enemies threat or starvation. But it’s the females being diplomatic. Wouldn’t it do the female good if she could ensured her husband had an incentive to stay at home and not go on his adulterous misgivings? Of course, she can keep him satisfied by offering him free sex!

This is, in fact, a normal situation in the circus of natural selection. A feature developed for one purpose might reverse, restructure even reinvent itself to some other purpose in time. Sexual strategies, like any other, evolve in response to ecological parameters and conditions. The only guiding principle for these genes is the question: How does an organism maximize its representation in the gene pool? Everything else is just details. Pretty cool way to empower females, eh?

We sit down to watch National Geographic and scowl at behaviors of other species completely oblivious to the fact that it is us who are an anomaly to them.

Where is the need for love?

The foregoing discussions were to give you a glimpse of the ruthless reasoning evolutionists employ. So, the question is: where is love in all this? Honestly, it was never meant to be. But the fact that we developed love, intimacy and a thousand more complex emotions is testimony to our superior cranial capaity. In the grand scheme of things as laid out by science (of which I have attempted to present a slice), there is no need for love songs, heartbreaks, ‘Romeo and Juliet’ and poetry.

Now, before you begin to believe your author is a hard-core nihilist, let me tell you that we did find a need. Take the fact that you are reading this: probably on a webpage which was served to you via a web server. That sentence right there is remarkable in itself. We developed language, reading and writing. Arbitrary symbols scratched on paper can invoke emotions and thoughts. We ask questions. We developed science and learned how to apply it, giving birth to technology. We are powerful enough today to change our own genetic constitution (let that sink in) and have been changing the course of our planet for centuries since the Industrial Revolution. True, a couple hundred years of advances cannot rival the millions of years of instincts engrained in our genes. But we can afford to be counter-evolutionary. No other species can do that. We can love if we choose to.

How to Take Correct Decisions

gs454236@gmail.com (Basil Labib) — Tue, 31 Aug 2021 10:33:32 +0530

Prologue

The other day, my sister and I were having this rather enlightening and philosophical conversation on how to navigate life. We’re almost adults so it’s high time we learn things that schools and parents won’t teach us.

The Problem

A human life is a game of decision making. It is analogous to a video game with opportunities and options at every turn and the chosen options leading to other opportunities, good or bad, but completely alienating us from the opportunities we have missed.

I aptly quote Shakespeare here,

We know what we are but know not what we may be.

The billionaire and the broke, the successful and the failure, all consequences of one’s life is solely a function of their decisions. I treat this as an axiom. Thus, to lead a good life, we have to make good decisions. That is the essence of human existence. Taking good decisions.

It can be a matter of life and death as in our prehistoric ancestors who survived wild animals because they learnt how to use a spear and thus pass on their genes or modern day recruitment procedures or even day-to-day wardrobe selection that have an effect on how colleagues and strangers perceive us. The setting may be different but the dynamics are still the same. This question stirs me to quite an unrest. But sadly, no one has an answer to it: how to take correct decisions?

Lemmas

It is not worth doing anything if it isn’t better, or at least at par with what is considered on the frontier of that expertise. Paint a picture or design your room. Then ask a painter and an interior designer to do them respectively. They’ll generally do a far better job than you. It’s because they are trained. It is not possible to excel at anything without training.

Secondly, people who win in the sense of winning a competition or successfully wooing a sought-after partner, are only slightly better and more skillful than their competitors.

Perspectives

Thus, the only practical way to take good decisions is to gather as many perspectives as one can. When one can evaluate a situation from different perspectives, they can have a much sound understanding of what it entails and what it holds for them and others involved. Most wrong decisions are taken today, by people or the government or any party in authority, because they lack perspective and knowledge. The rationale being our actions are not taken in a vacuum. They play out in the real world. They have real world consequences. I think it is a sin to only ever carry one prism in one’s pocket and act solemnly.

What does the future looks like?

Societies have increasingly become more intertwined and it will continue to do so in the foreseeable future. Advances in science drives technology which fuels economies, ramp up globalisation and make the global village a reality. Local news is insufficient and even common people must become increasingly aware of international news and politics to navigate their lives. Firms are developing radically new solutions and products to maximise their profit and become more risk averse. That invites consumers to access art and design in unlikely places. Gradually, a knowledge of that proves invaluable too. Social life has increasingly become digital (for better or worse). A knowledge of popular culture will be indispensible in being perceived as social. Culture, namely arts, music and literature will provide the much sought-after company that intellects will crave having exhausted their understanding of the theologies. They will find it in nature and the human psyche and in the stars when they look up.

Study of evolutionary biology is central to understanding almost every aspect of biology. It helps us understand where we come from, who we really are, what our priorities were, and instills in us a sense of humility for the vastness of which we are a passing flicker. Anatomical biology helps in better understanding what is inside us so we can better govern and streamline our lifestyle to suit our objectives. History is indispensable in a lot of ways. Understanding the culture, geography and politics of civilizations of the present and the past helps us in making sense of what goes on today and anticipate what the outcome might be. Notwithstanding the awe and wonder that comes with knowing the greatness of those from whom we have descended but it ignites a spark within us to uphold that grandeur in our lives and the posterity that will follow.

In Closing

Disciplines of studies will become interdisciplinary and the so-called boundaries seperating these domains will dissolve. To become valuable in the future will be to become more open to learning than ever before. To quickly re-engineer oneself based on the demands and whims of the society. And that requires an open and inquisitive mind which we must strive to cultivate at the earliest. Herbert Spencer’s, “The survival of the fittest” will hold true than ever before, albeit in a slightly twisted way, when a projected population of ~9 billion will be competing for the already strained resources of Earth in the 2050s and beyond.

To be or not to be: Understanding Hamlet

gs454236@gmail.com (Basil Labib) — Tue, 31 Aug 2021 10:20:23 +0530

Volumes have been written on the “meaning” of Hamlet (the play) by more qualified people than me. I do not seek to compete with them. What follows is my perception of Hamlet, a sketch so if you will, from a modern day perspective.

Hamlet is a complex character. I have strived to deduce Hamlet strictly from the source text and not get influenced by writings elsewhere because I feel external analysis somehow shrouds (glorifies or diminishs, whichever) the essence of what Shakespeare intended. I also acknowledge there are passages and portions that are still unclear to me. I take them as deficiencies on my part and the excellence of the play.

Act 1, Scene 2

Hamlet
Seems,madam! nay it is; I know not “seems.”
’Tis not alone my inky cloak, good mother,
Nor customary suits of solemn black,
Nor windy suspiration of forced breath,
No, nor the fruitful river in the eye,
Nor the dejected havior of the visage,
Together with all forms, moods shapes of grief,
That can denote me truly. These indeed seem,
For they are actions that a man might play,
But I have that within which passeth show;
These but the trappings and the suits of woe.

Paraphrase:

Hamlet
Seems? No, it is. I do not know how to “seem”.
It is not my inky coat, mother,
nor the conventional black suits,
nor the forceful restrained/artificial sighs,
nor the copious tears in my eyes,
nor the frowning on my face,
together with all forms, moods and shapes of grief
that can truly represent my sadness. These may seem
like actions that man may act upon,
But I feel and that feeling surpasses show
of these frowning and crying and black suits.

Hamlet’s first speech in the play in response to her mother who suggests that his father’s demise shouldn’t affect him in such grave manners. Multiple facets of Hamlet can be deduced from this text itself. The first striking observation that a reader will make (in retrospect to the characters so far) is his superior choice of words, usage of similies and eloquence in speech all indicating an educated, civilized mind, and a modest upbringing. He sharply criticises his mother for asking him to “move on” which suggest an authoritative, disciplined prince capable of experiencing deep emotions and who mourns his father’s death with sincere remorse.

Act 1, Scene 4

Hamlet
…This heavy-headed revel east and west
Makes us traduced and taxed of other nations.
They clepe us drunkards, and with swinish phrase
Soil our addition, and indeed it takes
From our achievements, though performed at height,
The pith and marrow of our attribute…

Hamlet
…This heavy-headed (drunken) revelry everywhere
Makes Denmark slandered/looked down upon by other nations
They call us drunkards, with gross/coarse phrases.
Malign our titles, and injures
our achievements, though accomplished at the highest level,
which are an essential and vital part of our reputation…

Hamlet’s uncle, the present King of Denmark, is having a debaucherous party. Hamlet’s personality befitting a king shines through before his coronation. He is concerned about the reputation of Denmark in the eyes of other nations and how they perceive his kingdom. He succintly criticises his uncle and doesn’t mince words in pointing out the malicious at a time when aristocracy was generally wary of their opinions and words.

Act 1, Scene 5

Hamlet
…And so, without more circumstance at all,
I hold it fit that we shake hands and part,
You, as your business and desire shall point you;
For every man has business and desire,
Such as it is, and for mine own poor part,
Look you, I’ll go pray.

Hamlet
…And so, without any further detail at all,
I think it is suitable that we shake hands and part,
You, as your business and desire shall guide you;
For every man has business and desire,
Such as it is, and for mine own humble part,
Look at me, I’ll go and pray.

This is a crucial point in the play where Hamlet has just conversed with the Ghost (the spirit of his slain father) who has revealed to him the serpentine nature of his uncle and asked him to revenge the scandal. Upon a lot of insistence and request from his friends, even his trusty Horatio, he doesn’t reveal to them anything. Hamlet’s prudence and diplomacy is highlighted. He is not swayed by excitement or passion. He has taken the task by heart and won’t take any chances that might culminate in its collapse.

Act 2, Scene 2

This is a long scene and a lot of different plots progresses through it.

Hamlet is eloquent and learned. Excellent memory. Recited the play speech (Slaying of Pyrrhus by Priam and the reaction of his wife Hecuba) almost impromptu by heart and with good deliverance as remarked by Polonius who was standing nearby. The speech is skipped as it will bloat this essay.
Am I a coward?

First instance when Hamlet is doubtful of his passion to pursue his vengeance. It is not surprising that a slew of modern phrases in English draws from Shakespeare. His words succintly flows from the instinctive thoughts of man.

The devil hath power T’ assume a pleasing shape…

Hamlet is analytical and thoughtful. He judges a situation from every aspect. He is cunning enough to setup experiments to test his postulates and wants to ascertain the guilt of his uncle before seeking revenge. He is aware that the devil might assume a pleasing shape (for instance, the ghost of his father) and exploit his youthful passion to make him commit a sin and hence damn him.

Act 3, Scene 1

“…That if you be fair and honest, your honesty shall admit no discourse to your beauty.”

Is Hamlet talking abour fidelity and adultery? I am in the dark in these lines.

This scene is home to perhaps the most famous of Shakespeare’s phrases. Yet, I believe the brilliance lies in the speech in its entirety which is paraphrased here for better understanding.

Hamlet To be, or not to be: that is the question.
Whether ’tis nobler in the mind to suffer
The slings and arrows of outrageous fortune,
Or to take arms against a sea of troubles,
And by opposing end them? To die, to sleep
No more, and by a sleep to say we end
The heart-ache and the thousand natural shocks
That flesh is heir to. ’Tis a consummation
Devoutly to be wished. To die, to sleep –
To sleep, perchance to dream: ay, there’s the rub
For in that sleep of death what dreams may come
When we have shuffled off this mortal coil
Must give us pause.There’s the respect
That makes calamity of so long life –
For who would bear the whips and scorns of time,
The oppressor’s wrong, the proud man’s contumely,
The pangs of despisèd love, the law’s delay,
The insolence of office and the spurns
That patient merit of th’ unworthy takes,
When he himself might his quietus make
With a bare bodkin? Who would fardels bear,
To grunt and sweat under a weary life,
But that the dread of something after death,
The undiscovered country from whose bourn
No traveller returns, puzzles the will
And makes us rather bear those ills we have
Than fly to others that we know not of ?
Thus conscience does make cowards of us all,
And thus the native hue of resolution
Is sicklied o’er with the pale cast of thought,
And enterprises of great pitch and moment
With this regard their currents turn awry
And lose the name of action.

Hamlet To exist or not to exist: that is the question.
Whether it is befitting to the mind to suffer/endure
The challenges and hurdles of outrageous fortune/life,
Or to revolt against the sea of troubles,
And end them by opposing them? To die, to sleep no more (the mortal sleep),
and say adieu to the heart ache and the thousand natural shocks
that mortal flesh is entitled to by sleeping forever. It is an end
to be wished for devoutly. To die, to sleep –
To sleep, perhaps to dream: ah, but there’s the conflict,
For in that sleep of death what dreams may come
When we have gotten rid of this mortal tangle of obligations
It must give us rest. That is the matter/point
That makes a disaster of such a long life –
For who would bear the pain and insults of time,
The oppression of the oppressor, the arrogant man’s abuse,
The pain of hated love, the delay in seeking justice,
The contemptous speech of officeholders, and the rejections
That the patient ordinary person endures,
When he can discharge himself from the debt of life
With a bare dagger? Who would bear burdens of sorrow,
To grunt and sweat under a weary life,
But the dread of that something after death,
The undiscovered country from whose borders
No traveller returns, confuses the will
And makes us rather bear those ills we have
Than fly to others that we do not know about?
Thus our consciousness/awareness of moral obligations makes cowards of us all,
And thus the original passion of resolution
Is painted with the pale gray of considerations,
And initiatives of great height and weight
With this regard have their objectives muddled/perverted
And thus lose the effectiveness of action/being acted upon…

Act 3, Scene 2

Ophelia Tis brief, my lord.
Hamlet As woman’s love.

Quick witted and a presence of mind. Ophelia, Polonius’ daughter and the play’s heroine, is describing the short preamble to the play being enacted for the King (Yes, a play within a play).

Hamlet
Why, look you now, how unworthy a thing you
make of me! You would play upon me; you would seem to
know my stops; you would pluck out the heart of my
mystery; you would sound me from my lowest note to
the top of my compass – and there is much music,
excellent voice, in this little organ, yet cannot you make it
speak. ’Sblood, do you think I am easier to be played on than
a pipe? Call me what instrument you will, though you can
fret me, yet you cannot play upon me.

Here, Hamlet is criticizing his friend Rosencrantz for secretly conspiring with the King to spy upon him and extract from him the true nature of his “madness”. Hamlet is prompt in pointing out what people are trying to do. He can handle confrontations well when the need arises. He isn’t easily manipulated.

Act 4, Scene 3

Hamlet
Not where he eats,but where ’a is eaten. A certain
convocation of politic worms are e’en at him. Your worm
is your only emperor for diet. We fat all creatures else to fat
us, and we fat ourselves for maggots. Your fat king and your
lean beggar is but variable service – two dishes, but to one table.
That’s the end.

Hamlet
He (Polonius) is not where he eats, but is where he is being eaten.
An assembly of diplomatic worms
are feeding on him now. The worm
is the emperor of all diets. We fatten all creatures to eat them, but we fatten ourselves for the maggots. Your volumptous king and the skinny beggar are only a variation in the courses served (to the worms) – two dishes at the same earth/grave.
That’s the end.

Well spoken. And then immediately,

“A man may fish with the worm that hath eat of a king, and eat of the fish that hath fed of that worm.”

A man may fish with a worm that has fed on a king and then eat of the fish that was caught by the worm.

In essence, how a common man can eat the king.

Act 5, Scene 1

This is a very interesting and tense scene. The different subplots have developed to a climax and are yearning to be resolved. Perhaps the most dramatic is Laertes’ hatred towards Hamlet for the death of Polonius and his sister. He fearlessly proclaims, “The devil take thy soul!”. The first half of the scene has many interesting monologues by Hamlet emphasising on the transitory nature of life and privileges. For example:

Hamlet To what base uses we may return, Horatio! Why may not imagination trace the noble dust of Alexander, till he find it stopping a bing-hole?

Hamlet To what degraded use we may return, Horatio! Why may not thoughts trace the ash of Alexander from its grave to stopping the bottle of liquor (that is, become a cork)?

The ash is washed into the soil, that soil is used to make loam and eventually corks which sit on top of liquor bottles. To think so critically and speak so liberally does require a confident and thoughtful mind. This part is littered by Hamlet justifying the meaninglessness of property, fame and worldly possessions for after all, everyone has to inevitably return to the same dirt.

Laertes is a figure in himself to be reckoned with. I have only been quoting Hamlet so for a change,

Laertes Now pile your dust upon the quick and dead
Till of this flat a mountain you have made
To o’ertop old Pelion or the skyish head
Of blue Olympus.

Laertes, Polonius’ son, is overcome with extreme grief at his sister’s death (probably a suicide as may be inferred from the discussion on her method and ceremony of burial). The Olympians were said to live on Mount Olympus, the highest mountain unreachable by mortals. Often, the giants tried to reach and overthrow it by stacking mountains on top of others. Pelion was one such mountain stacked on Mount Ossa. This is quite a striking manner of expressing sadness and hints at the learned, chivalric nature of Laertes.

Thoughtful dialogues

Hamlet …For there is nothing either good or bad but thinking makes it so.
Player King (to Player Queen) What to ourselves in passion we propose,
The passion ending, doth the purpose lose.
Player King (to Player Queen) What we claim/propose in moments of ecstasy/passion, Loses its potency when that moment of passion recedes.
Player King This world is not for aye, nor ’tis not strange
That even our loves should with our fortunes change,
For ’tis a question left us yet to prove,
Whether love lead fortune, or else fortune love.
Player King This world/the condition that prevails is not forever and it is not strange
If we change our lovers with our fortunes,
For it is a question still unproven,
Whether love guides fortune, or fortune leads love.

In essence asking: Is love a morality or an economic convenience?

Ophelia …we know what we are, but know not what we may be.
Hamlet …The hand of little employment hath the daintier sense.
Hamlet …Those who work little and know little about hardship (the aristocracy) have much delicate feelings/interpretations of life.

How relevant is Hamlet today?

And a more practical question, should you read Hamlet today? Yes, by all means. The hype and reverance that enshrouds Hamlet is justified. Being one of the most significant plays by argubly the greatest playwright in English literature, it justifies its position with its brilliance. The language, the symbolism, the metaphors, analogies are potent, coherent and dramatic.

Hamlet, the prince, who we started out to understand, is without doubt a prominent and poignant Shakespearean prince. He is learned and thoughtful. Analytical, witty and cunning, he understands diplomacy and social interactions well. But to clarify, I think Hamlet is flawed too. He did hesitate and waver when he could have easily revenged his father’s death. He was in a constant conflict with his conscience and the people without. His brilliance shines in handling them well, both within and without but he lost sight of his objective and became something else. He couldn’t confess his love for Ophelia when she was alive and only naively did so at her funeral. He is a hero and an antihero at the same time.

A Closer Look at 'Inside Job'

gs454236@gmail.com (Basil Labib) — Thu, 12 Aug 2021 16:56:47 +0530

“Inside Job” is a 2010 documentary written, directed and produced by Charles Ferguson on the 2008 global financial crisis. It won the Oscar in the “Best Documentary Feature” category in 2011. Notwithstanding, it makes for an enlightening and thrilling watch that every citizen, who cares about where their hard earned money goes, should watch.

This documentary is not an easy watch that one can grab on a lazy afternoon comfortable on their couch. It has complex sounding terms and concepts that should keep one on the edge of their seat. As those financial experts makes the layman believe, “What we do is far more complicated for you to understand so you better leave us alone as we do it.” They are soft-headed people who will make one feel witless and run away with their money. That is exactly what happened in 2008.

Poster of Inside Job

Economics is a fascinating subject

Economics, the “dismal science”, is a fascinating subject because it aims to study the very fondation that runs our society: money. To me, it is a study of resource allocation (More on this in a future post). It is a set of the simplest ideas that sustain our lives. A small section of people deliberately obfuscate those ideas with cooked-up complex terms just to con everybody else.

Concepts at the root of the 08’ crisis that I have broken down to simple language and added examples to make them concrete:

Information assymmetry: It means when a party has more information regarding a transaction than the other party. A rampant example is the real estate industry where the agent has a more intimate knowledge of the market and the value of the property than you do and clearly, they have no incentive to act in your favor.
Incentives: The powerhouse of any transaction in a economy. I have an incentive to educate myself because I know I can earn more money that way. People basically get up in the morning and do any work (even go out and shoot somebody) because they have an incentive. Incentives drives all our actions, even non-economical. (Don’t proceed further if you get offensed easily) Think about your relationships. You may love your partner. But (really) deep down, it’s just an incentive to have something you don’t.
Value: The basic principle why any transaction is carried out is because you are valuable to the other party. Maybe you invented something, maybe only you can offer a service. The idea is, people should be paid proportionately for the value they create in society. Money is a measure and storehouse of that value. It is a token that says, “Yes, this person is entitled to redeem this much worth for anything else”. This is crucial.

That’s all there is at the core of the crisis. So, let’s dig into it.

How it happened?

A newspaper headline in the wake of the crisis

The following is a brief summary of what led to the housing market crash.

Deregulation in the financial market of the US from the 1980s

Following the Great Depression of 1930s, the financial market of the US was stable and secure due to government regulation. However, during and after the Cold War, few lobbyists started putting pressure on the Congress to deregulate those institutions. What it basically meant was remove restrictions on private banks and firms to use depositor’s (that is, you) money and invest them more freely. It made bankers more greedy and ambitious.

Explosion of derivatives

Think of derivatives as artificial products that banks can offer you. Traditionally, banks are generally involved in lending and borrowing money. But, bankers can devise creative “instruments” – agreements really, that can allow people to bet on anything. Rising crude oil prices, the bankruptcy of a company, or even the weather. Why? Because they get to keep the service charges. Those institutes began exerting power over the political system of the US and got a law passed that essentially banned regulations on derivatives.

Securitization

40 years ago, home buyers would go to a willing lender, ask them for money and then repay them on a fixed basis. Naturally, those lenders were very carefully as to who they lent their money.

Securitization is a concept whereby the lender has no fear of not being repaid. They simply sell their mortgages to an investment bank. Consequently, lenders started making riskier loans because they didn’t care if people don’t repay. Loans for over 90% of the home price started being offered.

Collateralized Debt Obligations (CDOs)

Banks would buy mortgages from lenders, package a lot of them into a CDO, and sell them to investors around the world who would be happy to have a steady flow of cash because who doesn’t pay their mortgages? You see, it’s just the same, boring “I have money. You don’t but you need it. Okay, let me give you my money but you promise to pay me that and some more” packaged in new wrapping foil. Only this time, those mortgages were subprime. Meaning they were bad debt. Those people had over 90% of the home price paid by the mortgage and so had no incentive to keep the house. The moment they couldn’t pay their bills, they can simply walk away because they had no stake in it.

Rating agencies

These are institutes, Moody’s, Standard and Poor’s and Fitch were the key players at that time, that independently assess a financial instruments risk, returns etc and give them ratings to assist the investor in making an investment in those products. The problem was, the banks were paying these agencies to give AAA, or triple A rating (highest rating, equivalent to a goverment bond in terms of security) to subprime CDOs. Why? Because how else will they sell those rotten apples? Further, the agency had no liability if those CDOs turned bad.

Predatory lending

Subprime loans carried higher interest rates. So, the banker had an incentive to offer you those products that maximized his profits, not caring if those borrowers would be able to pay those loans. This is predatory lending.

This cycle reinforced one another, pumping out more loans, feeding the bankers. Employees of major banks like Goldman Sachs, Bear Stearns, Merrill Lynch, Lehman Brothers among others were paid “bonuses”. People owned not one, but five houses. Expensive penthouses, private jets. They degraded to drugs. Prostitution was rampant (and these charges were shown as business expenses), among other things. These greedy, bald people saw money, an unrestricted environment to operate, and a way to extract money for practically creating no value. They were artificially creating these instruments that they knew were bad, bribing rating agencies, and selling them off for the profits. But, there is more.

Credit Default Swaps

AIG, the premier American insurance company, offered others to bet on certain events, such as the fall of a company, or debts going bad, asking them to pay a monthly premium for a return if their bet yielded. Few investment banks saw those CDOs will go bad and started betting against their success and simultaneously selling them off to investors citing they were excellent triple-A products! Moreover, others can speculate on these too. So, if something those CDOs do go bad, AIG is in big trouble. Such chain enforcements blew the crisis out of proportions. There is even more.

After a time, they saw that AIG will go bust trying to repay them after those CDOs go bad which they new were a certainty, so they began to insure themselves for being guaranteed payments from AIG in case the CDOs failed.

The destruction

Bankruptcy of Lehman Brothers, one of the major investment firms on Wall Street

People said $x was wiped out from the economy. But that is absurd. How can money be just wiped out in a flash? The truth is, there was no money to start with. Only on paper. There was no value backing that money. It was just a facade conjured by those bankers in their heads. What was the price?

Iceland went bust. Millions of migrant workers in China lost their jobs. Americans lost their savings, jobs, homes. Lehman Brothers dissolved. Stock markets around the world plunged. Nobody was lending any money. The financial system came to a stand still. Yes, pretty horrible for misaligned incentives, ghost value, and people not knowing what the hell they were doing.

From left: Henry Paulson, Chairman of Goldman Sachs and later Secretary of Treasury, US, Ben Bernanke, Chair of the Federal Reserve, and Timothy Geithner, President of Fed Reserve Bank of NY followed by Secretary of Treasury

Who were accountable? What happened to them?

All of them walked home smiling with severance, reimbursements and damages running in the millions. Most still serve on advisory boards, and board of directors of major companies.

Even, academic economists were incentivised to misdirect the community into believing certain facts that weren’t true and got compensated. After all, money runs the world. Not morals.

What is to come and what we should do

I personally believe, overall prosperity (and survival) of everyone depends on equal access to informational and consumer rights. As we enter the second quarter of the 21st century, the world economy will be even more closely knit. Corporations and firms will continue to act in their best interests. Economics and government policies have to stabilise this delicate balance of powers to ensure basic rights and progress for all.

It is only when we, the citizens, have accurate knowledge as to what goes “up there” that we can safeguard our interests, voice our opinions, and strengthen our opposition. The Internet had democratized knowledge and allowed unrestrained access to information for even the remotest sections of society. People must learn to leverage it effectively.

Notes from the Author

I have refrained from naming any person/persons specifically to avoid unnecessary finger pointing at each other. I encourage you to watch the documentary.
I apologise if any of the dates/years mentioned are wrongly quoted. All errors, typographical or otherwise, are my own.

My School Journey

gs454236@gmail.com (Basil Labib) — Mon, 02 Aug 2021 23:34:27 +0530

Few days back, I graduated high school. Which means a journey of 14 years came to an end. I have numerous delights, some regrets and plenty of memories to take with me. I have some to share too.

Teachers

First of all, I want to thank every teacher who has taught me. From holding my hand to write an ‘A’ in nursery to open discussions in Physics classes to painful lectures in Literature – I have taken a part of you all. And though, I may become whatever I will, I have irrevocably become the sum of those pieces that you all have gladly given me. I am grateful to all of you, in the truest sense of the word. Moreover, coming from an indigent family, the love and support that some of you have shown me has been something I still can’t imagine. I still remember when Mrs. Bannerjee (my 10th English teacher) borrowed a dictionary on her name from the school library for me so that I could prepare for my board exams the following day. I remember Mrs. Ali and Mrs. Khan who waived my school fees for an entire year at a time when my family was going through great turmoil. Frankly, I would had to drop-out otherwise. Mrs. Kalam, who treated me as her own son, extended every possible help she could. I always felt so at home around her given the fact that I don’t like people a lot. Mrs. Sinha, who taught me Chemistry from practically the beginning. I still have the pen you gave me after I scored a 100 in boards by your guidance and blessings. And surely many, many others I cannot recall. I am a self-motivated student and all I need is a little encouragement. I am glad I got that and a lot more from all of you.

Not every teacher was co-operative so to speak. I guess some people just take school jobs for lack of a better option considering their intelligence quotient. I had a cranky librarian, few incapable (inappropriate?) teachers, an oversmart school official among others who I cannot recall anymore. I remember them all. I guess that is the fun of it.

The most delightful and terrifying time

Birla High School, Kolkata. Picture: David

The change of school after 10th was a seminal shift in my life. It was a period of intense self-doubt, anxiety and skepticism. What was I doing around these kids from hotshot families? Our habits, manners, ideals were different. Imagine a kid who is known throughout the school thrown into a situation where he is a nobody – an outsider. All these seemingly unreachable toppers looked daunting to me for the first time. I had no place, no status. I used to sit in a corner and nobody bothered. I was both elated and terrified at the same time. Somebody had hit the reset button. It was one of the best times of my life. But I wasn’t deterred. I had a plan. After the first test assessments came in, I regained my composure. Teachers began to remember my name. And I reinstituted myself at the place I like to be. Winning is always a function of one’s own capabilities.

A different vantage point

BHS gave me perspective. It offered me a different vantage point to assess myself. It was also the time I began to question the credibility of our education system. I think I identified the charade much later than others. The past two years have been extraordinary. I got what I wished for: a moment to breathe but at a terrible cost. I got time to seek new ideas, ponder deeply about things and figure out what exactly I want to do with my life (For the record, I’m still undecided).

Friends

My school life would have been bland and monotonous had it not been for my friends. As I am sitting here recalling all those mischiefs that we committed together, I have a silent smirk on my face. If teachers made me who I am, then my friends made the process less painful, more memorable. All memories, painful or joyous in the face of time become just memories – souvenirs to be cherished. I am glad I had my share of fun.

School Picnic, 2020.

I hate school

After all the sugar-coated talk out of the way, let’s get to the real deal. I hate school. Really hate it. I have felt suffocated for all these years. One of the most effective ways to ensure destruction of originality and value. Those loathesome memorization and regurgitation regimes. The utter helplessness of kids dancing to the tune to get those “sacred marks”. People didn’t learn for learning’s sake, for the love of learning. All they ever bothered was with marks, a fictitious magnitude they can measure and compare. Real learning was met with awkwardness, even ridicule. Deep down, good grades was a reassurance to their hearts, a misplaced sense of safety. And I am just happy it’s all over. I am hopeful that learning is valued where I am going. And I can’t f*cking wait to get out of here.

Regrets

Ah, regrets. Of course, my life hasn’t been all success and medals and wins. When I look back (few will scoff at this phrase because how old am I? They think there is a minimum age bar to qualified to talk about responsibility, to take a third person stance and judge your life for what it’s worth) I have tons of regrets.

Gender inclusivity

I wish our school had been more gender inclusive. I wish I had been more exposed to the other gender. It is preposterous to segregate people during the formative years of one’s life ideals and then throw them together in the real world and expect them to fend off for themselves. I would have been more confident in myself. I would have had a much clearer picture of what girls are. I wish I knew what it is like to know a girl. All that I had to “fend off” during my teenage was…nothing. I began patronising girls, elevating them to unrealistic expectations (not physical, ok) and I still have that scar mark, I guess. I look at other boys and I wish that it had all just been normal.

Skills

Personally, I wish I had learned more during my middle school. I wish I had utilised my time properly there. I was such a fool to just bury my nose in books and be all smiles with beaming parents on Annual Report Days. I wish I had picked up other things back then – tech, new language, music, sports.

That’s what I regret the most.

Goodbye, school

I am not at all emotional or crying or anything. In fact, good riddance. But I am happy what I have become.

I leave here becoming more than what I came here being.

Batch of 2020-21, BHS

The Indian Sexual Taboo

gs454236@gmail.com (Basil Labib) — Sun, 01 Aug 2021 15:28:23 +0530

Recent unravelling of the Raj Kundra porn video business on online streaming platforms has raised many tantalizing questions on the effectiveness of the Indian judiciary. It is indeed shameful and comical to know that the judiciary is confused as to the definition of “pornography” and “obscene” and specific laws under which to prosecute Kundra and Co.

Why do porn industries flourish?

Leaving prosecution and dissemination of judgement to more able individuals than me, I would like to raise few points about the other side of the coin: The Indian porn consumer base. If Raj Kundra was able to lure financially compromised girls into creating obscene content and sell them for millions, then why did he succeed? Markets thrive where there is demand - indeed, the fundamental basis of capitalism. Pornhub yearly statistics reveal Indian consumers on the site has been on a consistent rise. And that is just one provider.

To Kama Sutra or not to Kama Sutra…

Try initiating a conversation on sex (or anything that has even a distant sexual connotation) with your parents and expect varying degrees of indifference, loathe or repulsion. Isn’t this a glaring contradiction at the very heart of Indian ideals? What kind of society are we that fail to show the maturity to acknowledge our identity yet feel tempted to privately watch strangers in sexual acts? What kind of precedence are we setting for posterity? What kind of environment that stifles conversation about an aspect of human life that’s as important as food or housing? Most people will shrug at these questions because they’re not “comfortable” and doesn’t comply with their mental model of the world (Don’t just nod along, it’s very difficult to assess one’s own self).

All the damage we don’t see

Our culture has encouraged us being tight lipped about our own sexual pleasures and desires. That has led to grown-up adults believing it is safer to consume obscenity in the privacy of our rooms than to garner social disapproval by acknowledging them. What we don’t see, in our myopic decision, is the larger, grimmer reality behind our insecurity. A base like India creates immense demand in the industry and we don’t turn to think for once the trafficking rackets and porn industries that we are feeding. Videos are virtually indestructible. What about the dignity of those girls? What we don’t see is the hundreds of Kundras operating today stashing cash in their foreign bank accounts, feeding on our desires and the helplessness of those girls. What we see is the bluish screen, the comfortable privacy and a pack of tissue nearby. And that to me is outright cowardice.

Can we do anything?

Markets are fed by scarcity of resources. Sex sells because people are unwilling to talk about it. To borrow from the 1998 Pepsi commercial, ye dil maange more.

I can seriously go on and on about the destructive and depraved nature of porn. Creating fantastical expectations from real sex and women. Patronising women. Creating unrealistic mental images for what a woman is like. One of the reasons of rising crime rates against women. You get the point. It’s a keystone demon in society. I strongly believe that once we de-stigmatise sex in the Indian mind (Not an easy task), people will turn away from these nefarious services and reach out to real people in the real world with a sound understanding of responsibilities and expectations involved.

Conclusion

All that being said, outlook of people are changing and that is a positive sign. We need more forums to voice such questions and enable more individuals to ponder about their rights, sexual and otherwise. And I hope the court can come to a sensible conclusion and hammer down sharply on Mr. Kundra for his lowlife ventures.

Freakonomics: Should you read it?

gs454236@gmail.com (Basil Labib) — Sun, 25 Jul 2021 11:14:14 +0530

“Why do drug-dealers still live with their mothers?”
“Are Sumo wrestlers corrupt?”
“Legalized abortion led to decreasing crime rates”
“Are real-estate agents really acting in your best interest?”
“Does a child’s name have any effect on their lives?”
“Do parents really matter?”
“Are swimming pools more dangerous for kids than guns?”
“Why should teachers cheat?”

Freakonomics is a study of bizarre, mundane and exceedingly interesting questions. It employs the arsenal of mathematical sophistication to unearth truths and secrets that are hidden from plain sight. Written by an uncanny duo, Steven D. Levitt (the economist) and Stephen J. Dubner (the journalist) as part of an unexpected collaboration.

Our world is so bafflingly connected and complex, it takes sheer effort to identify correlation ( When two variables are connected), indicators (When one variable indicate an information about another) and causality (When one is really the cause of another).

The book warns that if morality dictates what people should do, then economics tells us what they really do. And no wonder, Levitt, a co-author, is a curious economist – a breed of closed-society intellegentsia who are trained to worship rationality over morality, prudence over emotions and numbers over talks because people may lie, numbers don’t.

Yes, Levitt is all that but more. He asks a lot of questions. His questions are a strange assortment of irrelevant (apparently) and outrageous. He had his share of unpleasantness and scorn because after all, even Levitt knows the bell curve of human intellectual distribution.

In a world dominated by people who loves to take sides, Levitt offers the rare third person perspective standing on a pedestal and presenting the true states of affairs. The book doesn’t build on any underlying theme – and perhaps that is the appeal. During an interview, someone asked Levitt “What is the unifying theme of your works?”. He was offered an answer by philosopher Robert Nozick,

“He’s twenty-six years old. Why does he need to have a unifying theme? Maybe he’s going to be one of those people who’s so talented he doesn’t need one. He’ll take a question and he’ll just answer it, and it’ll be fine.”

My thoughts on morality:

People tend to be good, generally. But only if their goodness is recognized and rewarded. If there is a bigger incentive for them to cheat or be bad and/or be assured they won’t be held accountable, they will become bad. There are always outliers, like in any discussion on economics. That is, people who are good just because that’s what they are.

In conclusion

Economics, at its barest, is understanding how people get what they want or need. Incentives strongly dictate human behavior (moral? eh, that’s debatable). Conventional wisdom is more often wrong than right. Measurement of data and its interpretation is essential.

I personally enjoyed reading this book.

Rereading 'A Thousand Splendid Suns'

gs454236@gmail.com (Basil Labib) — Sun, 18 Jul 2021 18:37:19 +0530

There are all these people constantly questioning me about my identity, my aspirations, my worth. What I want to do? What I want to be? So, I am forced to think about these questions. Indeed, what do I wanna do?

I reread the poignant “A Thousand Splendid Suns” by Khaled Hosseini. So, I have a habit, for better or worse, of poking around the central content to appreciate the big picture. I read a Wikipedia article on Afghanistan’s history. I found it interesting. And included 3 books on Afghan history in my library – looking forward to “A Brief History of Afghanistan” by Shaista Wahab et. al.

So here’s what I want: I want to go to Afghanistan. Stand and take a deep breath of Afghani air and remember the greatness and the massacre. Remember all the great leaders, the corrupt dictators, the murders, the rapes, the genocide, the bullets, the bombs, the cries, the anguish. I want to experience the sweetness of the land, the beautiful mountains, the pretty women, the hopeful youth. I want to savour the delicacies, the smells, the sounds. I want to go to these places I read about. The poorest, deprived of villages to the teeming metropolises.

I want to know how Herati accent is different from Kabuli. I want to see vineyards and orchards. Fields of them. I want to shake the hands of the Afghani women and tell them how brave they are. I want to sit down and listen to their tales of sacrifice and greatness. Such greatness that I can only imagine for myself.

And I want to learn, not only from books but from life itself. Yes, that is what I want to do.

I find life so worthy of living. Is there anyone out there who can hear my cry? Who knows exactly how I feel?

Is Governance Really So Difficult?

gs454236@gmail.com (Basil Labib) — Thu, 15 Jul 2021 13:15:37 +0530

Why is taking economic decisions at a national level such a tantalizing task? Why do government policies fail (sometimes miserably)? Why are people still living on the streets under BPL?

You can expose yourself to an array of criticism and theories spun by supposedly thoughtful individuals at any cafe. These folks go on blurting how the present is worse than a decade ago and on and on. I had heard about their side, I wanted to know about the other side too.

Does anybody know how to govern? How to implement schemes and incentive programs to propel a nation to zero inequality, equitable distribution and a teeming economy? The truth is, nobody knows. Neither the cafe hotshot nor the Chief Economic Advisor to the President. It is because systems such as human society are bafflingly complex. Let me share a simple scenario that highlights how incentives can play out in the real world.

A Tale of Two Companies

Logical behavior of rational humans acting in their own best interest end up making the situation worse off for all — Prisoner’s dilemma.

Imagine a town that is infested by rats. To solve the rat problem, two companies are formed. One sells rat traps and the other sells rat poison. Sales were good and gradually, the rat population started to dwindle.

For sake of argument, let’s say a rat trap sells for $100 and rat poison for $50. The town has 1000 customers, 500 of which go to Rat Poison Company (RPC) and 500 buy from Rat Trap Company (RTC).

Company	Share of market	Number of customer * Profit per customer	Total profit
Rat Trap Company (RTC)	50%	500 * $100	$50000
Rat Poison Company (RPC)	50%	500 * $50	$25000

Both companies have a share of the market based on marketing, customer preference and most importantly, the financial demography of the town (which basically means those who can’t afford expensive goods won’t buy it).

But one day, the manager at RTC had an ingenious idea. He summoned the manager of its rival RPC to a secret meeting and coolly laid out his plan before him. By the end of their secret meeting, both parties were shaking hands and grinning sheepishly.

To everyone’s surprise, the sales of RPC started declining. And it didn’t recover. In fact, RTC ended up dominating the market. Why? The potency of rat poison produced by RPC was decreasing thereby making them ineffective to kill rats. And because rats were an imminent mishap to the town in the absence of a preventive measure, those who used rat poison were forced to switch to rat traps.

This raises the very interesting question, why did RPC allow itself to suffer lose and possibly bankruptcy? Can you figure out what is happening here? (Hint: Think incentives).

Here is what happened at that secret rendezvous of the competitors. RTC stated flatly that because they were competing for market dominance, both of them were depriving themselves of potential profit. So, they asked RPC to deliberately reduce the effectiveness of their poison. This will force all customers to buy rat traps because they cannot do without.

Company	Share of market	Number of customer * Profit per customer	Total profit
Rat Trap Company	100%	1000 * $100	$100000
Rat Poison Company	0%	0 * $50	$0

Rat Trap Company promised RPC to give them $35000/mo as reimbursement. RTC pockets an additional $15000 and RPC gets an additional $10000 without doing anything. The companies walk home not only pulling money from thin air but also becoming brothers in conspiracy. This is the reason why the rivals were shaking hands and grinning at the confidential meeting.

Is this optimal?

As morally upsetting and conventionally twisted this arrangement might seem, according to an economist, it is a perfectly justified case of how firms act in ways to optimize profit. Why? Because incentives!

She might even approve of this strategy but she won’t. Because the firms actions don’t play out in a vacuum. They affect everybody in the real world. So, is this arrangement bad? Yes. Very bad.

As there is virtually no competition to RTC, they can establish a monopoly and charge whatever they want. This is detrimental to the customers who are forced to pay more because of their constrained circumstance (the rat problem). Money that should pay electric bill goes to buy traps. Hospital bills for Uncle Sam’s treatment goes unpaid. You get the point.
Lack of competition stifles any attempt at innovation. People look for better ways to do things in the hopes of making profits off a successful venture (an invention, a discovery etc). Innovation creates real value in society. Lack of innovation will lead to a dead-end of real value growth, making everybody in the town worse off in the long run.
Concentration of wealth. Money that should go to pay for a youth’s college is going into the hands of RPC and RTC. Wealth inequality is almost always an indicator of a poor economy. Because, people can’t get exponentially productive and if earning is a measure of one’s productivity, how are a selected few earning exponential gains especially when the town cannot afford to send kids to college? (Note: Exponential gain in itself is not an anomaly, especially in a highly advanced society. Think Zuckerberg creating Facebook. That was instantaneous creation of a lot of value and simultaneously, a fountain of exponential profit for Mark).

This is something I cooked up but it is not hard to see how such incentive driven behavior can affect others, the people and the environment. Such behavior plays out all the time across thousands of companies and firms in inconceivable ways. The real question is, Can we do any better at understanding this web of intricacy?

I was motivated to think about incentives while reading the newspaper today. Hilsa, a sought-after fish species, swims to the river to lay eggs in still water and then swim back to the sea. Newborn Hilsa then join the sea later. Fishing of young Hilsa is banned around the Bay of Bengal. However, due to skyrocketing petrol prices, fishermen are unable to keep up their profits. That further supplemented by Covid induced demand slash has forced them to break law and fish in the river or near the shores thereby depleting the young Hilsa population fiercely who are caught in finer fishing nets while swimming back to the sea. Seemingly unrelated, eh?

In conclusion

I found sharing these scenarios fruitful because they concisely highlight how is it not obvious to anticipate human behavior.

It is buffoonery to criticise someone without prior knowledge of all facets relevant to the case. With that note, governments (good governments at least) always optimize their decisions in the long-run. And at the hazard of sounding obvious, behavioral economics is a fucking awesome subject to study!

Friendship

gs454236@gmail.com (Basil Labib) — Tue, 06 Jul 2021 11:37:34 +0530

“How many times had she, Hasina, and Giti said those same three words to each other, Laila wondered, said it without hesitation, after only two or three days of not seeing each other?
I missed you, Hasina. Oh, I missed you too. In Tariq’s grimace, Laila learned that boys differed from girls in this regard. They didn’t make a show of friendship. They felt no urge, no need, for this sort of talk. Laila imagined it had been this way for her brothers too. Boys, Laila came to see, treated friendship the way they treated the sun: its existence undisputed; its radiance best enjoyed, not beheld directly.”

~A Thousand Splendid Suns, Khaled Hosseini

My Reading Portfolio

gs454236@gmail.com (Basil Labib) — Mon, 05 Jul 2021 12:00:15 +0530

I haven’t met anybody as devoutly fanatic about books as I am in real life. This love of mine can turn aggressive, even generously self-depreciative, which is a source of concern. I maintain a digital library simply because there won’t be enough room for all the books if I build for myself a physical library (Now you know how to impress me :winking_face:). I spend literally hours fretting about organization, intensely debating with myself what parameters to organize under, designing programs to maintain a catalog, devising makeshift ways to register progress and so on.

The most painful task for me, however, is choosing what book to read next. Bear with me if this sounds ridiculous. It is less ridiculous than what most people do these days. Hours of negotiation goes into deciding what to read next. To ensure I utilize my time optimally. This might seem trivial but it isn’t. Imagine picking up a book that required pre-requisite knowledge. Reading it is wasting time because nothing registers. So, it boils down to a dependency problem. But that can be solved with trees? One problem: Those trees can get very large. Pruning? No, what we need is prudent decision making.

Four parameters

Interest. I am human and a reckless reader. If I lose interest in a book, I’ll leave it right then, no questions asked. So, I have to make sure I pick up only those books that I want to read.

Utility. For eg, I love Harry Potter. Let me put away my current read and pour over the entire HP universe? No. The next question is: How much utility will I derive from the book I am about to read? Is it a good investment? Will it help me in acheiving my goals?

Experts. I believe we are the greatest fools if we can’t learn from the mistakes of those who already committed them. In terms of books, I look up to what others suggest. Mostly, the old and wise are eager to share their knowledge.

Content. This is me getting judgemental. If I have a chose between a finely written old masterpiece and a lousily written contemporary masterpiece, I’ll probably go with the old one. I can’t stand poor writing. I want to derive more than just the concepts. But what if the new book has more relevant ideas? As I said, it isn’t always easy.

My portfolio

I read multiple books together. So, I devised a so-called “reader’s portfolio” – a term borrowed from investing. It is a bunch of categories and I actively endeavor to maintain that proportion in my current readings.

Non-fiction
- History
- Finances
  - Economics
- Psychology
- Philosophy
- Culture & Geography
Revisits
Tech
Science
- Mathematics
- Engineering
- Fundamental Sciences
Literature
- Poetry
- Contemporary
- Classics

In conclusion

All these elaborate schemes are far from perfect and I know it. But at least, it’s a start. These crude ideas give me a basic idea of where I should be headed so that I don’t go crazy.

Notes: The Millionaire Fastlane by MJ DeMarco

gs454236@gmail.com (Basil Labib) — Sat, 03 Jul 2021 21:02:21 +0530

Are you able to successfully leverage the opportunities at your disposal? That is the question that this book tries to answer and provides advice backed by the author’s own experiences. The book is written in a comfortable conversational style, including way too many metaphors and analogies.

The author, himself, has a remarkable lifestyle: starting a tech company during the dot-com bubble, growing it, selling it and so on. Below I have aggregated few core ideas from the book. Enjoy!

My highlights

Beliefs

Beliefs are powerful mechanisms that drive action, whether true or not.

What is wealth?

“Wealth is the ability to fully experience life” — Henry David Thoreau
Wealth is the state when each unit of money that you own earns more than its worth without you doing anything. (mine)
Wealth is composed of fitness (health), family (relationships) and, freedom (choice).

Luck on demand & Accountability

Luck is the residue of process.
“Responsibility is the price of greatness” - Winston Churchill
Responsibility is acknowledging your flaws. Accountability is modifying your ways to eliminate them.

Skills & Education

To trade time is to trade life.
Confined set of skills makes you expendable if demands for them becomes obsolete.
“The only thing that interferes with my learning is my education” — A. Einstein

build a machine for yourself.
Impact millions
Maximum control and leverage.
Wealth = Units sold * Unit profit + Asset value
Appreciable assets - businesses, brands, cashflows, notes, IPs, licenses, patents, inventions and real estates.
Passive income - earning income while not working
Start with $5m at 25, and let it compound. Wanna skip the first 30 years.
Become a producer first and a consumer second.
Business structures - C corp, S corp, LLC (Limited Liability Corporation)

Life choices

Poor choices are the leading cause of poverty.
Decisions made early in life are most impactful and irreversible.
Be willingly to accept your flaws.
“Ridicule is the tribute paid to the genius by the mediocrities” — Oscar Wilde
Create “free time” - time not spend working or recharging from work.
Pledge to never stop learning. Not from books but by engagement.
The acquisition and application of knowledge will make you rich.
Are you interested or committed?
Take intelligent risks.
Big dreams, materialistic or altrusic non-profit foundations, cost money.

Rules of thumb for business

- Need - “What’s in it for me?”
- Control - Over the variables
- Entry - barrier for competition, monopoly, license etc
- Scale - Units sold and Unit profit
- Time - business detached from your time
Live below your means with the intent to expand your means
Financial literacy - I mean, obviously

Entrepreneurship 101

The owner of an idea is not he who imagines it, but he who executes it.
Listen to people’s complains. Customers are foremost.
Look big to impress customers and intimidate competitors.
When supply exceeds demand, prices must drop, suddenly, the product becomes commoditized. Avoid such industries entirely.
Differentiation. Force innovation.
Be copied, never copy. (mine)

Partners:

Accountants and attorneys (among others) must be top-notch
Verify first, trust later
Spectacular product features cannot overcome poor services.

Branding

Build a brand. Rise above the noise.

Discipline & Focus

“…No life grows great until it is focused, dedicated, disciplined.” — Harry E. Fosdick
When you segregate your effort among assets, you build weak assets.

Migrating From Jekyll to Hugo

gs454236@gmail.com (Basil Labib) — Mon, 21 Jun 2021 10:34:14 +0530

This is a quick note for the convenience of the readers.

With a heave of pleasant sigh, I can inform you all that I am migrating from jekyll to hugo . Finally.

The only hindrance (so to speak) was the choice of a decent theme which, as you can see, has been accomplished. Hugo has a ton of features and conveniences that I would be foolish to not take advantage of. Archetypes, built-in shortcodes, KaTeX typesetting, taxonomies beside being so fast! I love Hugo. 💜

Old Blog (Jekyll) Home Page

New Blog (Hugo) Home Page

A word of caution 💀

It is quite obvious, migration is neither a quick nor an exciting task. This will take time. I plan to complete it in parts over multiple days. So don’t freak out if some link is broken or you find “gibberish text” written midway through a post. And, I am looking into alternatives to Disqus.

To infinity and beyond. 🚀

Bookshelf

gs454236@gmail.com (Basil Labib) — Sun, 20 Jun 2021 22:24:36 +0530

Inspired by Patrick Collison’s luscious bookshelf , this page is the list of books I have read in the current year (whichever year you are reading it). Most of these are plucked from other people’s recommendation lists, popular choices, stuff I find interesting or just a random topic I want to learn about on a Saturday evening. Suggestions? Drop me a line !

I read somewhere (probably in an Umberto Eco article) that one can understand a man by going through his bookshelf. In any case, this is my bookshelf and I leave you to judge me at my worth. Happy browsing!

My year in books: 2020
My year in books: 2021
My year in books: 2022
My year in books: 2023

2025

The Book of Vows (Mahabharata #1) | Amit Majmudar

Interesting. I’ll probably have more to say when I read the other two books.

2024

Dune | Frank Herbert

Probably my favourite science-fiction saga so far. I’ll write more about it when I finish the other books.
Dune Messiah | Frank Herbert
Mossad | Michael Bar-Zohar and Nissim Mishal
India Unbound | Gurcharan Das

Undoubtedly, this is a book which has fired a lot of imagination and thought in me. India Unbound is a socio-political and economic analysis of India from Independence to the 2000s, written in a semi-memoir-like style by a liberal. This is exactly what I was looking for in terms of depth of analysis which is well suited to a beginner layman. I can now say I have decent historical context to analyse future reports and events in India. I can philosophise a lot after reading this book but I’ll stop myself and wait till I have seen my India. A quarter of a century is a generation and a long time for India to come-of-age. In some distant future, I wish to see India as it exists today and record what this miraculous nation is upto since the 2000s. And yet, somewhere deep down I’m afraid that I romanticise much.

Maybe it is not as rosy as it seems. For as I keep pondering Gurcharan’s words, I realised how bound we are to our uncontrollable fates being somehow thrown into the world and asked to make sense of it (and honestly, not a lot of us have the mental awareness to seek out the “moral and spiritual platform” to view themselves and the world around them and are happy to learn, earn, and die). I mean the individual aspirations of one person may not be enough to steer a country to greatness (because these are macroscopic emergent properties) or it might not be achievable in their lifetime. Is it then still worth it? To follow a passion so dearly as to gamble everything else?

I was born a decade after the economic reforms into a India which spoke of television and Coca-Colas and grew up in relative connectedness to the world through the Internet, listening to Radiohead and U2. And yet, my India is not the complete picture. It is like looking at the picture through a narrow slit. I yearn to see the picture. Maybe some day I will.

There are 2 sequels to this book on the broader themes of Dharma (Morality) and Kama (Desire) while this one dealt with Artha (Wealth). I’ll probably skip those for now and come back to them later.
Understanding Power | Noam Chomsky

Probably not a major upgrade after reading ‘How the World Works’ because it has the same themes and topics that it talks about. It follows the same format - just a set of Chomsky’s talks and Q&As edited together into a book. The organisation is also not something I particularly like - its arranged choronologically and maintains too much of the conversational flow to be worthwhile to mentally address the sections. I didn’t see any particularly good organisation metric used (For instance, HTWW had a country-wise organisation in the last section). The fact that the chapter and section titles are abstract-y doesn’t help either. But those are not Chomsky’s fault, those are the editor’s faults.

The material reads like Chomsky and gets repetitive (especially if you have already read HTWW). At times, I got rather bored of the same “US is oppressing poor countries” narrative and felt sleepy. It’s true, however, that Chomsky is perhaps one of the very few people who are actually first-order thinkers on geopolitics and human rights. The passion that exudes from the text is very typical of far-left thinkers. Chomsky is able to back his claims with irrefutable data and insights that I suspect very few are even capable of mentally arrriving at.

As an experiment, I tried to “read” this book by listening as an audiobook. Some worthwhile use of commute time to my office during internship. Would I do it again? Yes, perhaps. It’s better than just letting the mind wonder but I’m not sure how retentive it really is. But then, is there any reason to believe that read material is more retentive?
Men of Mathematics | E. T. Bell

Slightly racist, slightly provocative, and maybe not exactly the kind of humour a lot of people in the 21st century will approve of and easily take offense with but still, this book remains a definitive account of around 30 of the best mathematicians that mankind has to offer. It’s written in a challenging prose but that only goes on to establish the command and authority of the author over words. He takes care to vet the mathematically inclined reader with a few doses of formulae and symbols - overall, his explanations remain accessible with a bit of insight and serious thought.

Besides, the author tries to glorify the mathematicians somewhat and takes the high-ground snobbery approach of considering other humans as lowly even. It’s hilarious at time, the kind of insults and low-blow attacks that the author writes about (Sadly, I cannot reproduce them anymore because an earlier draft of this review which did contain those chosen extracts was lost due to an OS system crash, apologies!)

I have fond memories of picking this book up at a local library and being intimidated by the lofty language and the hard sentece construction and yet being intrigued by the feats of these extraordinary men that the pages talk about. It was fascinating and I’m sure some part of that went into conditioning me into beginning to love the “sciences” and books, in general, more than enjoy the company of people because unlike books, people get messy.

I’m happy I was able to read (re-read?) this book. It has spawned my somewhat dormant pursuits of the natural sciences, espeically application of pure mathematics to physics. All that remains now, is to master the books on analysis, mathematical physics, projective geometry, and European history that I have downloaded as an impulsive side-quest. Ah, the hunger to know everything, it’s maddening but oh so destructively seductive.
The Polyester Prince | Hamish McDonald | 1998

A book that was allegedly banned in India due to muscle power of the Reliance Corp must have some substance for the conglomerate to take such a defensive and desperate step. And for good measure. This is one hell of a book. It is jammed packed with dense finance lingo thrown casually at the reader as if the author assumes that the reader are accounting and finance graduates by default and yet under the shroud of impregnable financial lingo lies the thrilling and grey world of the Ambanis and their mastery and subsequent tales of exploitation of the Indian bureaucracy and markets. For any budding enterpreneur, Dhirubhai Ambani’s story from “rags to riches” is both an inspiration and a glaring warning for the challenges and routes to be taken - some of which are questionable and definitely not for the faint-hearted.

Recommended by a friend, I enjoyed every single chapter of this book. I finished it in 3 sittings, completing half of the book in the first sitting itself. I think this should be required reading in finance and biz schools. And I suspect every enterpreneur worth their name has probably read it. Deffo recommend.
Letters From A Self-Made Merchant To His Son | George Horace Lorimer | 1903

A set of 20 letters written by Mr. Graham, the owner of the meat packing house, Graham and Co. in Chicago, to his son as he is coming-of-age and entering the family business, can be counted among some of the most potent and candid and well-articulated collection of advise and teaching from a father to his son ever put to paper. I enjoyed reading each letter with great interest and loved how each piece of advice was accented with an anecdote from Graham’s life. Although, the language is very 1800s and pretty thick on the American slang of that era which sometimes makes it difficult to get the hang of what’s going on but with sufficient persistence (and some generous Googling), I could make out what the intent of these letters were.

In any case, these letters contain what most people will call “timeless” wisdom but then I’m also wary of what mostly happens with such timeless wisdom - they tend to be locked between pages rather than see themselves practised by men. The challenge is not to know what Mr. Graham tells us but to see through that they get implemented in our walks of lives.
The Sealed Nectar - A Biography of the Prophet Muhammad (Peace be upon him) | Safiur Rahman Mubarakpuri | 2011 (English Translation)

A biography of the most noble man who ever lived. My desire to understand more about the life of the Prophet pbuh grew after I finished reading the Holy Quran. After much research, I finally decided to start with this book since it was supposed to be accessible, the close alternative was Martin Ling’s biography but I left it after finding that people have criticised the authenticity of some of the contents. This book was also recommended by Yasir Qadhi (whose youtube series on the Seerah I am yet to finish watching). The english translation of this book (the original is written in Arabic) is quite a drag to go through as has been warned by a lot of commentators.

Even more annoying is that the meaning of the text in unclear or confusing in a lot of places. The translation is plain and bland and lacks literary life. It is extremely monotonous at places and gets highly predictable.

I can understand the tone of praise especially when the author is a Muslim but my opinion is that it is detrimental to the vision formed by outsiders who come seeking an introductory account of the noble and most beloved of the Lord without the fluff. I would have appreciated if the account was more objective and more information dense.

In terms of authenticity, I think the biography is pretty foolproof, every account and narration is cited so there is little issue there.

I am definitely more learned than what I was before but the presentation could have been more attractive to a modern youth seeking guidance from the mannerism rather than a verbatim account of the battles and expeditions. The mannerisms of the Prophet was somewhat hidden within those, making it more accessible would definitely be nicer.

Want to Read

The Burden of Democracy
Everybody Loves a Good Drought
Children of Dune (#3)

Unfinished

Anything read more than 5% but less than 100% is noted here. I have to keep a running tab of how reckless I am with my books. sigh.

Cyberpunk: Science Fiction Anthology | Edited: Victoria Blake
Sex At Dawn | Christopher Ryan and Cacilda Jetha
The art of manipulation | R. B. Sparkman
101 Essays That Will Change The Way You Think | Brianna Wiest
A Creative Approach To Music Fundamentals | William Duckworth
Beautiful Code | Edited: Andy Oram and Greg Wilson
Man’s Search For Meaning | Viktor Frankl
How not to be wrong | Jordan Ellenberg
Coding the matrix: Linear Algebra for Computer Science Applications | Philip Klein
Checklist Manifesto | Atul Gawande
The Art of Game Design | Jesse Schell
Zen and The Art of Motorcycle Maintainence | Robert M. Pirsig
The man who knew infinity | Robert Kanigel
Poems on Love and Other Difficulties | Rainer Maria Rilke
The art of electronics | Paul Horowitz and Winfield Hill
Crafting Interpreters | Robert Nystrom
The 4 Hour Body | Tim Ferriss
Permutation City | Greg Egan
The Brothers Karamazov | Fyodor Dostoevsky
In the Footsteps of the Prophet | Tariq Ramadan
Infinite Powers | Steven Strogatz
Broken Ladders | Anirudh Krishna
One, Two, Three…Infinity | Geroge Gamow
Meditations | Marcus Aurelius

About

gs454236@gmail.com (Basil Labib) — Sun, 20 Jun 2021 22:12:10 +0530

What should you expect from this blog?

This is a blog about psychology, philosophy, economics, technology, science, art and design. It is not proper to believe this blog is limited to the handful of subjects listed above because it is not. To understand our lives demands a multidisciplinary stance.

Perhaps, a better explanation is given by ACX which I quote:

Ṛta is a Sanskrit word, so ancient that it brushes up against the origin of Indo-European languages. It’s related to English “rationality” and “arithmetic”, but also “art” and “harmony”. And “right”, both in the senses of “natural rights” and “the right answer”. And “order”. And “arete” and “aristos” and all those other Greek words about morality. And “artificial”, as in eg artificial intelligence. More speculatively “reign” and related words about rulership, and “rich” and related words about money. – Astral Codex Ten’s about

Brief Intro

I am Basil and I currently work as a researcher at a startup.

I’m interested in STEM. I like films and art history. I love to read. I jokingly began describing myself as a cross between an autodidactic polymath and a Romantic. And that’s a good working definition.

This blog is an attempt to make learning rewarding for others. It is also partly my scratchpad to note thoughts and ideas.

Contact me

Have a suggestion, idea or just wanna talk? Shoot me an email here and I’ll be happy to chat back!

Most Scarce Resource

gs454236@gmail.com (Basil Labib) — Sun, 20 Jun 2021 00:00:00 +0000

What is the single most scarce resource at the disposal of man?

The present.

It cannot be acquired or earned. It is available to all in equal measure. It cannot be claimed forever unlike knowledge or lost like friends. We may eschew society to do our biddings but all must surrender to this moment.

Anything that you are doing now is a liability and everything else you chose not to do are missed opportunities.

People ask me, are you making proper use of your time? Clearly, that is an irrelevant question. The right question is, given the choices at your disposal, are you doing what will maximize your value?

It is preposterous and utterly stupid to compare myself with others because we two never had the same choices at the same time.

Some choose to use this moment to decorate themselves, some to create havoc, some to kill and plunder and yet some to toil and rejuvenate. It is the decision that we make that makes us. A guy maybe tall and muscular, aquiline and handsome. Or a girl maybe pretty and stunning because they invested their present in doing so. The real question is, was it worth it?

I’m never angry or annoyed at anyone. Simply because there is no time to waste! I distance myself from them to avoid future losses. That is the best strategy. I have nothing to do with those who make me feel I’m less than what I imagine myself to be.

Think about it. All the greatest inventions, the grand conquers, the brutal massacres, the glorious tales, the most passionate love, the deepest resentment. Every aspect of every man was unleashed in their present. How can you be stupid enough to spend yours being anything less than your best?

The Sun After A Thuderstorm

gs454236@gmail.com (Basil Labib) — Thu, 17 Jun 2021 00:00:00 +0000

There is something magical about the first sunshine after a thunderstorm. The coolness of the still wet ground and the warm sunshine vapourising the dew. The mist hanging low over the floor mixing with the musky smell of freshly spawned algae. The chirping of the songbird as they return to their nests mingling with the chattering of the hawkers and peddlers as they return to the streets below.

Notes: I Will Teach You To Be Rich by Ramit Sethi

gs454236@gmail.com (Basil Labib) — Tue, 15 Jun 2021 00:00:00 +0000

Sethi’s book, at it’s core, is a set of rules and tricks that can be applied by an aware and motivated individual to ensure a life of abundance relative to their current financial standings. Motivated to become rich himself (and hailing from India) at a young age, Sethi learnt from his blunders and noted his successes. He started blogging about his wins which eventually evolved into this book. Needless to say, his advice are well-researched, practical and tested. Do they work? It seems to.

This is my attempt to summarize the essential ideas presented in the book which is bore out of personal necessity as I am sure I will forget half of them (Speaking from past experience) in due course and will procrastinate till the universe cools down to open the book and reread it. Ergo.

Two caveats before we begin:

The book is dated. Use it as guiding rather than definitive. Research is key. Use the rather scant Terms section to look up artificially confusing financial terms.
The book is centered on the average American citizen. Find appropriate / equivalent schemes for your country of residence.

How to get rich in one line: Clear all debts. Choose the right accounts. Spend consciously. Automate money flow. Invest early and aggressively. Improvise and take action.

Rich or Sexy?

Getting started is more important than becoming an expert.
Ordinary actions get ordinary results.
Why do you want to be rich? (Hint: Because it sucks being poor).

Credit Cards

Two components: credit report and credit / CIBIL / FICO score.
Pay your credit bills on time. It’s free short-term loan. Get a no-fee card.
Rewards are important. Two or three cards are fine. Keep them active for long. Get more credit. Offers excellent consumer protection.
Small wins waste time.
Debt: Pay off the highest interest-incurring cards first. Negotiate lower APR. Setup aggressive automatic transfers to pay off.

Bank Accounts

Online savings account (NIYO, RazorPayX, Open) > Traditional savings account > Traditional current / checking account
Savings account: save up for longer-term goals. Less transactions. Current account: for frequent withdrawals.
Credit Unions: like local banks, not-for-profit, owned by customers.
Downside online savings acc: Few days for transactions to clear.
Talk to rep. Effective and important.

Setup investing

Open up 401(k), Roth IRA and an investment account with a discount brokerage firm (Or whatever is your equivalent in your country).
Setup automatic payments. Match 100% with your employee on 401(k). Go to Roth, then come back to 401 if still left.

Spending

Allocate spending money in “buckets”.
Rule of thumb: 60% expenses, 10-20% investing, 10% savings (or debt), 10% leisure (or debt).
Don’t just save - Save for a goal. Track spending weekly.
Increase revenue flow: Invest aggressively in yourself (health, education). Negotiate raise. Switch to higher-paying job. Do freelancing.

Automate

This provision	…should target
Paycheck	Investment acc; Direct deposit to checking account
Checking account	Investment acc 2; Savings acc; Credit card; Fixed costs (like rent); Unexpected
Credit card	Fixed costs; Leisure spending

Investing

Financial magazines, pundits, portfolio managers, advisers are nuisance. Cannot predict market 75% of the time. Manage yourself.
Preference: (Lifecycle funds) > Index funds > Mutual funds > Stocks, bonds
Major predictor of portfolio volatility: your mix of stocks and bonds. Your investment plan is more important than your actual investments.
Index funds: low-management fee (expense ratio). Rebalance allocation every 12-18 months.
Asset allocation: Check Swensen model
W. Buffett - “Be fearful when others are greedy and greedy when others are fearful”. That is, “Buy low, sell high”.
Ignore the noise.

Terms

credit score / CIBIL / FICO - number between 300 and 850; represents credit risk to lender; higher is better.
APR - Annual Percentage Rate. Interest rate to credit card companies.
Credit utilization rate - how much you owe divided by your available credit.
Life cycle funds or Target date retirement funds - “funds of funds”. managed. assets allocated based only on your age.
Stocks: Large-cap, Mid-cap, Small, cap, International, Growth, Value. Bonds: Government, Corporate, Short term, Long term, Municipal, Inflation-protected (TIPS). REITs.
REITs - Real Estate Investment Trust. Different than stocks or bonds.

Downsides

Okay, this might be a personal rant but the language of the book could have been more terse. This may be a demand my brain concocted from reading classics but formal language never hurts. Foregoing first-person addressing, frequent (and sometimes, redundant) jokes might have helped deliver the ideas in a more concise book thereby boosting the number of prospective readers who otherwise will shy away simply at the page count. As Cicero said, “When you wish to instruct, be brief”.

Maybe, just maybe, I would have been better off reading a classic.

Financial blogs

Get Rich Slowly - interesting
/r/IndiaInvestments wiki - great resource for Indian investors. Check “Recommended Reading” page (Another great collection of resources).
Zerodha Varsity - resource for investors. Newbie friendly.

What Makes You Powerful?

gs454236@gmail.com (Basil Labib) — Thu, 10 Jun 2021 00:00:00 +0000

Do you want to know what makes one powerful?

It isn’t money or weapons or good health. It is the ability to find the weak side of strong things.

Notes: The Richest Man in Babylon by George S. Clason

gs454236@gmail.com (Basil Labib) — Tue, 08 Jun 2021 00:00:00 +0000

Notes on “The Richest Man in Babylon” by George S. Clason.

What is wealth?

Wealth is a power. With wealth, many things are possible.

Essential Habits

A man’s wealth is not in the purse he carries. A fat purse quickly empties if there be no golden stream to refill it.
Fate is unpredictable hence untrustworthy. It makes wanton spenders and misers alike.
Every surplus can earn for you. And every revenue on that can earn for you.
Be frugal. Invest surplus.
Take advice about jewels only from the jewel merchant.
Determination is utterly important. If you set a task, complete it. How else can you be confident in yourself to do important things?
Counsel with wise men. Seek advice of men well versed in handling wealth.
Invest with extreme caution. Shady schemes are like sirens.
A part of all you earn is yours to keep.

Cures for a Lean Purse

Make it a habit to put aside a portion of your earning.
Each coin you spend must return 100% of its appreciated value.
Budget your expenses.
Compound Interest.
Security of your principal.
Own your own home.
Plan for the future.
Invest aggressively in ways of increasing revenue. Eg: Education.
Be Respectable
- Pay your debts with promptness.
- Take care of your family earnestly.
- Make a will of record.
- Have compassion over those who ain’t as fortunate as you are.

Luck and Opportunity

To attract good luck to oneself, it is necessary to take advantage of opportunities.
With wisdom, wealth can be secured by those who have it not.
Wealth that comes quickly goes the same way.
In the strength of your own desires, is a magic power. Leverage it.

Principles of lending

Help your friends in a way that does not bring their burden on you.
Emotional/Frivolous/Impulsive humans are not worthy of being lent.
Better a little caution than a great regret.

The Walls of Babylon

We cannot afford to be without adequate protection.
Thoughts of youth = bright lights of meteors that make the sky brilliant. Wisdom of age = steady light of fixed stars that are reliable enough to steer the course of sailors.

Power of determination

Innovation creates value.
Value is measured by wealth.
Wealth determines authority.

If a man has a soul of a slave, he will become one no matter what his birth.

Every woman longs to be desired.

Where the determination is, the way can be found.

Best Friend

Work is your best friend.

Turn Down The Music

gs454236@gmail.com (Basil Labib) — Mon, 07 Jun 2021 00:00:00 +0000

Yes, turn down the music
Throw away the booze and
Tell them the party’s over for
she isn’t here.
Rip the sky bleed,
crush every skull I find,
burn every fucking flower
that blooms coz I want her.
Yes, turn down the music
Throw away the booze and
Tell them the party’s over for
she isn’t here.
Was it so much to ask for your love?
I dreamt too much about us
But you were too conceited. Now,
Switch off the lights
And, turn down the music
Throw away the booze and
Tell them the party’s over for
she isn’t here.
— b.l.

Think, Wait and Fast

gs454236@gmail.com (Basil Labib) — Sun, 06 Jun 2021 00:00:00 +0000

In the book “Siddhartha” by Herman Hesse – the protagonist, who is a Samana (a homeless hermit), is enchanted by the beauty of a woman named Kamala. On their first discourse, Kamala asks him what is he capable of doing that he can trade for money, pretty clothes, shoes, sweet perfumes and gifts for her. To which Siddhartha replies,

“I can think. I can wait. I can fast.”

I think that is a very profound answer and it will do ignorant fools like us much good if we make an attempt to comprehend it.

“I can think”

What does Hesse mean by “think”? Here’s my two cents: “think” is a metaphor for everything we can affect. The universe may be unforgiving and wild but our minds do have a certain say in certain matters. It is our responsibility to seek education, contribute to the productivity of the community, demand reward in return of our efforts, tie in matrimony with suitable partners, rear children et cetera(The pedantics may take to the comment section to tell me how wrong I am. We can sort it out there). All these worldly responsibilities cannot be fulfilled if we are selfish. Running away from them, seeking happiness in isolation and frugality is a valid (and selfish) way of life but in my opinion, not a optimal one. Just because the world is dying of global warming and degradation doesn’t mean we use fancy terms to run away from our duties. If we turn something bad, it is our duty to mend it, not run away from it (Footnote 1).

Herein lies a caveat though, engaging in worldly activities invariably implies invitation to negative emotions like desire, greed, jealousy and so on. By clear and rational thinking, we can be sure to not pursue a path of unfairness and uphold our modesty, chivalry and conviction while being gentle, kind and honest to our immediate brethren. Thus, it is prudent and crucial that such capability of thought be actively cultivated in minds, young and experienced alike.

“I can wait”

Hmm, here we enter the territory of the spiritual. I hold that there is indeed a way of life that is meaningful, fulfilling and full of happiness (Footnote 2). It involves plucking many ideas from many different trees in the garden of the collective human thought and preparing a recipe (Your author here is still in pursuit of that recipe, however). One of these ideas is waiting. A metaphor, of course.

Waiting for what? Nothing. And everything. Lao tzu talks about it beautifully in “Tao Te Ching”. Frankly, the idea bears quite resemblance to Lao’s scheme. It is the realization that you are nothing but a fool in the grand scheme of things (Reading astronomy at a young age helps in this realization, I have found) and subsequent acceptance that you, as a spectator, can only watch as things unfold before you. The world composed of other ignorants like you can exercise such a effect on you yet individually, we end up being at their mercy. Don’t believe me? Then, why do people get late for office meetings? If they really are so powerful, why not stop all the traffic in the first place? Or why is it that most people fail miserably in relationships that they try to actively seek out? (Naive examples but I cannot think of better ones at the moment).

Most importantly, desperation is never an answer. And neither is shouting or rage or profanity or the myriad of others, all of them offsprings of desperation.

“I can fast”

“Fasting” is a metaphor for restrain and abstinence. It is indeed a simple idea. What will make you restless if you have nothing to be restless about? Isn’t that powerful?

There is a bit of a contradiction here, perhaps my pedantic readers will notice. Engaging in society means desiring materialistic wealth and chasing romantic oppurtunities. How can one fast then? That is the beauty of it. Tzu uses the phrase, “To stand at the center”. Yes, to experience everything, good, evil, pure, noble, unchaste, corrupt, sinful and yet, not be moved by anything at all.

Conclude

Most fundamental ideas are beautiful. And beautiful ideas are utterly simple. Is this the ultimate guide to life? Far from it. Learning is not the recitation of words written down or the memorization of facts but the courage to question them and find even simple answers. May this serve as an inspiration to those who listen and set them on their own journey of finding their answers.

To perpetual learning.

Footnote 1: The pace at which modern society has evolved is blistening. Since the Information Age, we have developed far faster than we are capable of comprehending. This blinding growth (both numerical and technological) is at its worse, a recipe for disaster. Ignorance is evil, it always has been. But today, how to make sense of the information explosion? So most people don’t. What hurts most is not the absence of knowledge but partial knowledge. That is indeed the case today. Access to information should be coupled with education in order to yield it effectively. Impulsive youth can easily be swayed by baseless arguments and stage upheaval. Prudent assessment of all facts is key to survival and flourishment of us. Today, it makes us both vulnerable and powerful than ever before.

Footnote 2: And today, more than ever in our history, it is possible to achieve that.

Going Public

gs454236@gmail.com (Basil Labib) — Tue, 01 Jun 2021 00:00:00 +0000

Circumstances have forced me to mull over unprecedented actions. However, given the situation of the country and the world in general, I hardly think that is an exceptional decision.

The question stands, should I make my blog public? As rationality dictates, I would like to put forward few thoughts both pro- and anti-, some personal, some acquired.

It is not unknown to you that this is this blog’s new home on the Web. I took down its previous home simply because a friend of mine discovered it. That maybe happened in March. Am I insecure? Yes, maybe. But who am I to judge myself, whether I’m intelligent or insecure? How can an observer infer anything about an experiment of which she herself is a part? I’ll let you all to decide.

A blog no one reads

But wait. Where is everybody? Oh, right. There is nobody. My blog has been operating anonymously for almost six months now. So, what is all this for, then? Isn’t the blog supposed to be my channel of communication with the world? Isn’t it supposed to be my representative voice? What good is a blog that no one reads? I have distressed over this fundamental inquiry for a long time. I am here because I decided to be here. I wanted people to read about a common life. I chose to reach out. Because as corny as it may sound, everybody wants to be appreciated.

Curse of creating on the web

But have I, really? Writing posts for a blog is a double-edged sword as any sensible person will tell you. For a reason as simple as simple can be: Incentive. Why should they? Nobody is interested in listening to why I cried on Wednesday night or how I built an open source app. So, eventually they will all go away after entertaining themselves for a while with my stories. Unless, I can figure a way to arrest their interest. But, isn’t all of this already figured out? Isn’t this what professional blogs do? Yes and yes.

Writing for public invariably means to write what they want. It is impossible to voice your opinions without being judged by potentially the entire Web community. I have observed this pattern before: on YouTube. Channels start out with a unique rationale churning content that they want to produce but invariably end up producing what people want even if that may not be what they intended. At the end, more or less, all the paddy in the field looks the same. Hiding my identity is a valid solution but after all this talk, I don’t think it is for me.

I am making my blog public. Public is a just a silly euphemism for “my handful of friends”. I am looking forward to making it an unforgettable experience for everyone and myself.

So long.

My First Guitar

gs454236@gmail.com (Basil Labib) — Sun, 30 May 2021 00:00:00 +0000

I admit I have become lazy. I have not written about myself for a long time. And I apologize for polluting this space with movie and book thoughts. A lot of things have been happening (or should I say, the lack thereof?). But surely, the coolest things to happen is my guitar. Yes, ladies and gentlemen! My first guitar.

At this point, I am not clear whether the pandemic screwed me or I screwed myself. But I am certain, I feel depressed and terribly alone. When your mind is idle, it has these thoughts, interesting thoughts. Let me share one of mine: So, people say there are introverted and so on and so forth. But they are lying. Because if they were, then they certainly wouldn’t be telling you. The point is we don’t really know any introverts. And by definition, we can never. For instance, I decided to write about myself and my life. If I hadn’t, you would have never known anything. Now, apply this to every person you know and let them apply it to their knowns. Those whose laughs are the most joyous are the ones truly crying.

Isn’t this post supposed to be about the goddamn guitar? Did you expect me to ramble about its beauty and quality and price and dimension? Okay, let’s do it. I must say that it is indeed beautiful. A Yamaha F280 Acoustic. I can play “Ode to Joy”, “Yankee Doodle” and “Aura Lee” albeit, not fluently. I am practising finger coordination at a daily basis. I have a really generous classmate who guides me a lot and I am grateful to him. After much research and negotiation, I think Hal Leonard’s Guitar Book (Complete Volume) is an ideal book (there are actually 3 books. I have a compilation edition) for me because I am in sync with the pedagogy professed in that book. I highly recommend it to anyone who is a total beginner and a self-learner like me.

My first guitar. A Yamaha F280

Pardon my admittedly mediocre photography skills and the mess on the left. I don’t feel like cleaning up.

For the inquisitive reader

If you stare carefully at the picture, you’ll notice something strange (Provided you have the patience). Yes! The strings are reversed. I am a left-handed player so they had to change the string order. But wait, why is the pick guard on the wrong side? I can’t help that. That’s how they made it. They assumed that some right-handed person is going to play it. That’s okay. I have grown used to it.

I did look up left-handed pick on Amazon. Apparently, it’s a scarcity. They are not to blame. Producing something that isn’t in demand doesn’t make sense.

My father (predictably) didn’t agree with my decision. It was quite a show during the first week. His actions and words back then were nothing short of blades slicing my heart. But now his actions and words point to the fact that he has acknowledged my decision. And all I can say is I’m okay. Eventually, everything will be.

Looking ahead

I am really looking forward to playing “Wonderwall” , “Iris” and “Free Fallin” . Let me just say, these songs are very close to me. Of course, I have many miles to go before I sleep and I cannot wait!

To infinity and beyond.

Thoughts: UNIX - History and Memoir (Book)

gs454236@gmail.com (Basil Labib) — Tue, 30 Mar 2021 00:00:00 +0000

It’s always good to know about the things you love the most. It somehow makes you love them even more. I am glad non-living things are not stupidly self-conscious and self-doubting like us and I can understand them more deeply than I can understand other humans.

Some mind(ful|less) blabberings

With that said, I enjoyed this book. In Brian’s succint prose, he recollects the history of the mother of all operating systems: UNIX. And along the way, describes the sideways development that it encouraged such as the development of C (the “lingua franca of computing”), various timeless tools like grep, awk, sed, yacc, lex, make, document formatters and so on. He talks about what lead to the development of UNIX and ruminates on the kind of environment contagious to such breakthroughs. Unfettered management, fun atmosphere, great minds, stable funding and the freedom and willingness to solve real-world problems. He also points out and clear a lot of the admittedly confusing history that is the legacy of Unix as the (licensed) source code of Unix reached Berkeley. As he correctly pointed out, AT&T tried to “lock the barn door after the crown jewels had flown the coop”. And then we had BSD, Minix, Linux, Xenix and yada yada.

He talks about the revered “Unix philosophy” and spells it out in its entirety which is what I was looking for. He talks about the genius of Ken Thompson (May the Nerd God bless him), the technical eloquence of Dennis Ritchie, the management of Doug and so on. Who wouldn’t love to work at a place where people respect and rever things they loves?

He kind of skims very gently on the technical innovation that Unix brought to the table such as pipes, hierarchial file system, user-level shell programs along with the basic good design decisions and principles of system design.

He talks about pranks on other colleagues, defiance of the management and other geeky things that sound wholesome and naive (It makes me feel that Gods do sometimes play). He points out rather coyly the Unix system in use in the Jurassic Park which controlled the security locks and latches and how Lex navigated it and saved the day. He talks about the infamous comment in the Unix source code that apparently described code responsible for context-switching between processes and it went like:

/** You are not expected to understand this. **/

I think I can safely attribute the code it described to Ken :P.

And he did all that in his usual mix of humour and nostalgia which is heart-warming and I guess will be to anyone who had helped build something that has literally changed the world.

The masters have shown the way, it is time we lead.

Logs

This was a (relatively) short book and I think I completed it in three to four sittings. I finished it on Mar 30, 2021 though I’m sure to dig into the myriad of resources Brian has linked to. I also want to get my hands on the Unix src (6th edition) preferably with Lions’ commentary.

Dual Boot

gs454236@gmail.com (Basil Labib) — Fri, 26 Mar 2021 00:00:00 +0000

I experienced something profound and I want to share.

my experience with dual booting

For three years, I have borne the pain of Windows. I hate it for being a black box. I love it for being a convenience. But I knew I wanted to get out. I was fearful. I have only one laptop and I have heard (oh lord, this word “heard”) very bad stories of entire hard disks getting purged. I couldn’t take the leap.

But as I learnt about operating systems, I gathered confidence. I begun to realise dual booting is a very easy thing to do. You just have to fully understand what you’re doing. That’s all. I did dual boot successfully yesterday. I now use Ubuntu 20.04 as my main with Windows 10 as auxillary. And then it hit me like a boulder.

The people who told me something can’t be done assumed I was like them. And because they couldn’t do it, they assumed so can’t I.

It’s all beautifully captured in my all-time favourite quote by Marcus Aurelius,

“Everything you hear is an opinion and not the fact.
Everything you see is a perspective and not the truth.”

I have become more powerful.

Notes: Design for Hackers by David Kadavy

gs454236@gmail.com (Basil Labib) — Sun, 14 Mar 2021 00:00:00 +0000

Why Design?

Your biggest asset - “Learn whatever you want to achieve your vision”.
Good designs are timeless. They can awe people of any era.
Fundamental soul of a human creation that expresses itself in successive outer layers of the product.
Designing of a system comes before building it not after.
Affect emotion, build credibility, earn trust.
Don’t draw ponies.
First visual interaction thus heuristic shortcut to judge credibility.
Purpose | Medium and Technology | Aesthetics
Good design choices are a set of ideas that must mature in the mind.
Use user persona to wireframe and prototype.
Memorable and usability.

Typography

Where does that typeface come from? What medium and technology influenced it?
Typeface is what you use. Font is the file which contains the typeface (Am I being pedantic?).
Understand the forces that brought the style into existence.
SEO is design.

Proportions

How size and magnitude relate to each other.
Important and unimportant elements.
Common ones:
- √2 : 1
- 3 : 4
- 2 : 3
- φ : 1

Composition

Arrangement of elements.
Reading direction, guiding the eye.

Principles

Dominance - pulls you in
Similarity
Rhythm
Texture
Direction
Contrast
Application to MailChimp logo

Visual Hierarchy

White space
Type weight
Type size - 3:4 relationship - 5, 7, 9, 12, 16, 21, 28, 37, 50, 67
Color
Ornamentation
Different blog designs and explanation
Application to website
Cluttering design in HTML tables

Color Science

Color in physics
- EMR
Human visual limitations
- Color constancy
- metamerism
- afterimages
Human visual system (biology)
- Rod, cones (3 types), ganglion etc
- Trichromatic theory, color opponent theory
- Color blindness
Color models
- Munsell
- HSB
- LAB
Data driven graphics
- Converging palettes
- Diverging palletes
RGB model
- Color mixing, additive model
- Hexadecimal mental model
- navigating color without using a picker
Cross media color representation
- RGB (computers), CMYK (print)
- CMYK a subtractive model
- Gamuts
- ICC profile
- Approximate screen color on print (previewing color shifts, proofing etc)
- Spot colors

Color Theory

Color association with events for our ancestors
Effect of red on prefrontal cortex
- prefrontal cortex and rational thought
- eg of Target (retailer chain)
- use cases for red
Color and culture
- questions to ask when designing for a foreign culture
- do research
Color Wheel
Expected usage of few colors in culture
- White - backgrounds, trustworthy etc
- Off white - natural feel, not for high traffic site
- Dark - sophistication, exclusivity
- Bright - less content
- Green - success, mark of progress
- Yellow - info
- Red - error, warning, urgent
- Blue - links (generally)
- Accent colors
Interaction between colors
- warm colors pop, cool colors recede
- tint pops, shade recedes
- why monet never used black (explanation of his poplar painting)
- application to typography color, element design
Color schemes
- monochromatic
- analogous
- complementary
- split complementary
- triadic
- tetradic
- variations
Creating mood with colors
- mysterious (exclusive)
- active (youths, zeal etc)
- muted (solemn etc)
- natural
Tools for creating color schemes

appendix A

Consult for table of pairable typefaces to use for different purposes.

appendix B - typographical etiquette

Don’t

Fake bold/italic/small caps
Stretch types
Outline types
Impose background images or textures

Avoid Widows and orphans
Use drop caps
Avoid indenting and leaving a line. Redundant.
Use smart quotes (” “ ” “ ′ ″ )
&hyphen; (‐), – (–) and — (—)
Ligatures but not widely supported.

Thoughts: Design for Hackers (Book)

gs454236@gmail.com (Basil Labib) — Sun, 14 Mar 2021 00:00:00 +0000

Design. An idea which I admit rather shamefully to not have paid any serious attention to (until now).

Design of a system happens before building not after.

This, it seems, is a general attitude towards design by builders and engineers or people who work on the guts or so called backend of a system as was coyly pointed out by the author himself.

Unfortunately, it is true. Design is something I have always thought of as an after thought in my projects at least uptil now. But no more!

The more I dwelled into David Kadavy’s excellent book on Design, I began to appreciate design at a much, much deeper level. This book is exactly what it says on the tin and I like it for how it tries to make a seemingly abstract idea like design accessible in a concrete manner to a “hacker” (ie one who is functionality minded) by employing lots of examples.

Kadavy took care to pick out real world good design examples and explain what makes them good. He points out the underlying design principles that generally governs the interface of a design. Seriously though, how on Earth would I have expected to understand why Manet’s “Luncheon on the Garden” was the beginning of Impressionism or what makes Seurat’s “A Sunday afternoon on the Island of La Grand Jatte” a captivating painting?!

The Luncheon on the Grass by Edouard Manet

A Sunday Afternoon on the Island of La Grand Jatte by George Seurat

How did I get hold of this book?

Ok, this is another one of my web rabbit hole expedition. I was reading ESR’s jargon files where he references a blog by an anon CS student for Linux newbies. Did I need any restraint? Off I went through most of her posts (which were fun and properly written) and found this book in one of her currently readings from perhaps 2016(!). She isn’t active as of today. Last post is dated ~2018. 🤷‍♂️ I enjoyed her writings to be honest.

Design is not definitive

Of course, these principles are not set in stone as the subject it deals with is inherently a creative discipline. However, the ideas presented are a general guide for the uninitiated and they seem to be present in almost all good designs so I conclude they must be good heuristics. For eg: the idea of dominance, or direction, composition etc.

The point is design is not something one gains by reading a book. It is not a place where you can reach and exclaim to others “I have arrived!”

You can read a book summary I prepared for more or better yet read the book (which I highly recommend) if you tinker with stuff.

What next?

I would love to go to art exhibitions and develop a taste for art as I can now appreciate the ideas latent therein with more fervour.

Notes: Habits by James Clear

gs454236@gmail.com (Basil Labib) — Fri, 26 Feb 2021 00:00:00 +0000

My Notes

Introduction

Majority fail in making habits because they try to make changes the wrong way.
It is easy to get obssessed with the result.
Never overestimate the importance of one defining moment and underestimate the value of making better decisions on a daily basis.
Don’t focus on the destination. Focus on the path.

Habits

Pattern of every habit:
- Reminder ( trigger )
- Routine ( the action itself )
- Reward ( the benefit )
A good reminder makes it easier for you to start your habit by encoding your new behavior in something that you already do, rather than relying on getting motivated.
Set a visible reminder and link your new habit with your current behavior.
Reminders are specific to you and your habit.
Things that you do everyday without fail, even unconsciously.
“Make it so easy you can’t say no” - Leo Babauta
start small
consistency is key
Reward yourself, atleast with positive self-talk.
Make habits that are important to you, not what you are told.

New Identity

visualize yourself being the better you.
Grow more confident in your new identity by getting approval from others.
All your actions is a reflection of who you think you are. Change your image and you change your habits.

Motivation is unreliable

Define life-goals := tiny, daily behaviors that are repeated until success becomes inevitable.
“Plant the right seed in the right spot, it will grow without further coaxing…”
“Focusing on motivation as the key to habits is exactly wrong…”
“Pick the right small behavior and sequence it right.”
Don’t dive into the deep end and drown as the initial impetus fades.
Dream big, but start small.

Just Do it

The problem: We set deadlines, not schedules.
If we don’t achieve, we feel like failure - even if we improved.
It’s not about always doing your best work, it’s about doing the best you can on a consistent basis.
Stop focusing on result. Focus on consistency.
Don’t refrain when the Muse sings to you. But don’t rely on them.
The focus is on doing the action, not achieving X goal by a certain date.

Keystone Habits

A keystone habit is a behavior that naturally pulls the rest of your life in order.
Eg: Fitness, Work out, morning run, daily meditation.

Get back on track (quickly)

Best strategy isn’t to avoid failure, it’s to plan for it.
Must have a plan to get back on track before you get off track.
Be specific about your habits. When, where, exactly how are you doing to do it?
Stick to your schedule, even in small ways.
This will prove to yourself that you can achieve even when the circumstances are not favorable.
Have a person as an incentive.
Design your environment for success.

Overcome Bad Habits ASAP

Bad habits are a way of dealing with stress and boredom.
Bad habits can’t be eliminated. They must be replaced.
Choose a substitute that provides a similar benefit.
Cut out as many triggers as possible.
Join forces with somebody.
Visualize yourself succeeding.
You lived without the bad habit before. If you could then, then you certainly can now.
Be aware of your bad habits.
It takes perseverance but it isn’t impossible.

Conclusion

Knowledge is useless without action.

Footnotes

This post is a condensed form of the most essential ideas from the book “Transform Your Habits” by James Clear . My objective has been to ensure that a single read through this post will revive all the keystone ideas in the book, thus optimizing the time for reading yet another book.

My intention has been to propogate productivity. All copyright belongs to the owner and I hope he will understand the good nature of the work presented here.

As always, suggestions are welcome.

To infinity and beyond.

Gemini Protocol

gs454236@gmail.com (Basil Labib) — Thu, 25 Feb 2021 00:00:00 +0000

Gemini is a minimal application layer request-response protocol that aims to make a Geminispace of information to be accessible to anyone even with slow/intermittent internet connection. Think HTTP 0.9 or a less restraining Gopher.

TLDR

If you haven’t checked out Gemini yet, you totally should . This is a HTTP proxy to the actual gemini site.

Why Gemini?

I really value your time and understand you have better things to do. So, I’ll cut down on formalities and introductions and preludes and yada yada. My format might be quirky but my motive is always to be efficient and effective and non-conformant.

Gemini appeals to me simply because of it’s lack of noise. Of course, noise is a very generic term and doesn’t make anything anymore clearer so hold on.

The WWW has evolved. It is not anymore the “collaborative space where you can communicate through sharing information” but has become so much more. It’s like a clamoring, dazzling marketplace. Which is….good…and bad. Good because there is something for everyone. The space Tim dreamt of certainly exists (and is thriving) and I admire that. WWW and HTTP has empowered man like nothing before.

Ironically, that is the bane too. The sheer amount of information that the modern woman seems to drowning in, she suffers from lack of clarity. It is so damn easy to get lost in the noises and forget your original motives. And that, my friend, is something I cannot do. Clarity of thought cannot be bargained with.

Gemini is cool precisely because it doesn’t offer much (but don’t be fooled to believe it can’t do much). It is designed deliberately to be non-extensible and thus, only serve the real purpose for any network - pure diffusion of information. Gemini is text-based (however, you can use any of the MIME formats to serve data). A big upshot is because it lacks images and other media (in a pure sense), there is virtually no ads to distract you. No banners that crept up and goddamn blink!

How does it work?

Gemini servers are applications listening on remote hosts implementing the protocol. They, by default, listen on port 1965 (the year the first manned Gemini flew as the specification so humbly states). One can have multiple domains being served from the same IP address. The protocol defines a new MIME type text/gemini to serve gemini files (analogous to text/html over HTTP) which is a light-weight markdown format and renders like HTML.

The render process is not precisely laid out in the specification and is upto the client to implement. The resultant .gemini or .gmi files are served over a regular TCP connection which is meant for exactly one request-response cycle. Note that however it increases network latency, it serves the greater good of protecting end users from noise by preventing clients from making multiple requests for unneccessary jargon. And I care about that!

The protocol can serve text or binary data and let the client handle it. And what’s better? If you can’t find a “rational” client, you can write one because the protocol is so simple. I care for this empowerment. It is most crucial for me to know precisely how the system works. Ignorance is an eyesore.

You can link to other resources in the Geminispace or even link to HTTPS or Gopher resources! Besides, Gemini takes security very seriously (unlike Gopher or HTTP) by enforcing a TLS handshake for every connection.

Check out the spec: Gemini Protocol Specification .

Gemini clients

Due to the relative simplicity of the protocol, there is a number of clients written in a number of languages. However, I could test drive only one which is AV-98 , a client written in Python by the original designer of the protocol itself.

It’s a nice little application though not cross-platform. I tried it inside a VM box running Debian. I can use this thing if it can serve me daily news in my terminal, though I am not sure how many local sites here allow scraping. Would RSS be better? Yeah, I think it’d work but who lives in the past?

The repo is here . Show it some love.

I’m fiddling with writing a client myself but shhh…

More resources

This is a great repo which is comprehensive enough to get you running (wild): Awesome Gemini .
This is a gemlog site I found, that is hosting a site in gemini space and providing a nice proxied HTTP interface to users (possibly for convenience or to attract less tech-savvy people) which IMO is very cool. It doesn’t ask for all my details and does what it should: maintain my anonymity and let me log. gemlog.blue . Definitely check it out!

Specialisation

gs454236@gmail.com (Basil Labib) — Mon, 22 Feb 2021 00:00:00 +0000

What is this about?

So, here’s the thing, imagine the following situation:

You are the manager of a team of experts (say successful authors, famous musicians, legendary programmers etc) who are proficient in a field you know nothing about and are responsible for building a product/service/solution (you will be surprised to realize how prevalent this is in modern production chains).

You have no idea if the person does his[1] job optimally or at his best potential. You only see the end result and “declare” it as state of the art simply for lack of a better alternative.

The problem, of course, is the fact that the specialised group of people being small in number and having no competition, have no compulsion to actually work. Just the signal that they are working is enough though it is at the cost of quality and undermining of the society.

The problem is especially daunting if that job happens to be critical, eg: operating system design or military embedded software (These examples are not exhaustive but merely the first ones to come in my mind) for in this case, the peril is due on the people who consumes that product. No wonder we have had many such instances of loss and destruction which probably isn’t even recorded.

I pursue the point that it must be true simply because of the sheer vulnerability it exposes us to and for the utter fallible nature of the so-called “experts”, humans in general.

But why do people behave this way?

People behave this way because it is human nature.

An obvious step to solve this problem might be to verse ourselves in the craft. This definitely is a solution but alas suffers from two shortcomings:

The entry point to achieve that level of expertise will consume the undertaker’s lifetime (or a significant portion of it) because simply of the sheer volume of content that we have generated and the inherent limitations of the human mind to comprehend and assimilate knowledge.
Exactly because of the first point, by the time you become an expert, the investment in terms of time and energy (and perhaps wealth) that you have garnered becomes a priority and there is nothing to stop you to follow the path of your peers and simply signal the achievement of optimality though it seldom is true.

And we are back at where we started from.

The Principal-Agent Problem

Ok, so without knowing what it was called, I stumbled upon the idea of the principal-agent problem . I got to know what it’s called in Naval’s Almanack .

Isn’t it truly amazing how idea is so decoupled with language? Of course, it has to be because ideas are created (discovered?) first and then named for future reference. Now, this is a really powerful idea and I’ll save it for another post.

I’ll keep my title though. :)

In conclusion

We have come full circle around this vicious, fundamental and omnipresent cycle that is simply a dangerous byproduct of what we are capable of. I wanted to point out this specifically for two reasons,

It impacts everyone of us in deeper ways than we imagine.
I am trying to curate good mental models and build a viable structure of ideas.

So, whenever you go out, keep an eye for these cycles and hopefully these words will assist you then.

Footnotes

[1] - I seek your pardon but I find it extremely uncomfortable with the awkward he/she, his/her and all the nonsense that I find spewed almost everywhere nowadays. I will randomly select a pronoun (with a probability of 50%) and let it be my subject for that thought process. It, of course, doesn’t diminish the efficacy of these words for the other genders.

On a second thought, I thought using the more neutral ‘it’ but refused as it felt too mechanical and gave me the feeling that I was talking to machine with many cogwheels and eyes as red as T800. It’s bad English works this way and I hope they will come up with something more suitable.

Logs

Jan 30, 2021 - First draft written.
Feb 22, 2021 - Edited and added a bit more material.

Living in the Present or the Future

gs454236@gmail.com (Basil Labib) — Sat, 20 Feb 2021 00:00:00 +0000

A concave disposition I figured.

Living in the now, the present versus living for the future. This is not a mutually exclusive choice. One must possess both qualities and be able to switch back and forth effortlessly between them.

Living for the future is stressful in the present but generally blissful for the future. You might argue that this must be the optimum choice but the conflict is you are preparing for something non existent and moreover, expending your present to do so and effective using what you can only ever experience, the present.

Living in the now is equally perilous as we live in modern times and there are certain expectations from me and you. One must (against all our innate desires) give in to planning and long term goals. Today, having a plan is peace of mind (Unless you are in an uncanny profession such as sainthood).

Systems and Everything Else

gs454236@gmail.com (Basil Labib) — Wed, 17 Feb 2021 00:00:00 +0000

This is probably the best life skill I have come across in a while that I wish to talk about.

What is this post about?

Have you struggled to find a bearing in the world? With so much information and activity to process, does it make your mind feel despaired? Have you endeavored (tried?) to find a list of fundamental principles to live by? Everyone has a core belief through which stems (either consciously or unconsciouly) all of their thoughts and actions. But I disgress, this is for another time.

Sure there are! You can find them in the works of Charles Munger, Naval Ravikant, Steve Jobs and so on. Today, there is not a scarcity of books that confidently lays down lists of dos and donts to ensure success. I don’t intend to question there effifacy here (or now).

I have wondered if there was not a list but a single guiding principle. An idea that encompasses every other great/remarkable/(insert your adjective) idea. Wouldn’t it be truly amazing?

This post is my attempt to introduce that idea.

Fact: Words are imperfect and language isn’t competent enough to communicate our thoughts correctly. Proceed with caution.

TLDR

Learn to see systems underneath.

What are Systems?

Have you been to the movies? Have to listened to a catchy pop or a classical album? Have you read stories that left you in awe? Or the classics?

Never done these things? Alright, have you been to the supermarket? Or the spa? Or the gaming club? Or to silly little school? Have you talked to your parents? Or interacted with any other human being?

Well, if you have done any of these things, you have experience what a system is though you haven’t known what it is.

Systems are everywhere, hidden in plain sight. The ones who exploit them reap the benefits.

For a really lean specific example, I am thinking right now of the system I am in with you, the reader. You are an audience unscathed by this new idea and are perhaps reading this article to gain new insights (or the title was intriguing enough?) My aim here is to write sufficiently well to get the idea across. And for that, I must put myself in your shoes and resonate with a woman who has never had a whiff of this idea. What will happen then, you might ask? By doing so, I’ll be a good teacher.

It is not straightforward to look at things presented to you superficially and immediately observe the system working underneath. Yes, granted the idea is kind of vague but abstractions are good. Look at computers.

The why and the how

Most people when confronted with a new idea/theory/person tends to ask questions from the “what” spectrum. But I think it will be more fruitful to start your analysis by asking the “how” and more imporntantly the “why” questions.

Gmail

The Gmail service of Google is almost ubiquitous. I look around and almost everyone is armed with one. But why is Google giving away free email accounts? With such a nice UI and the syncing and the security? It surely costs money to host our accounts. Think about it. We are still paying. Not in terms of cash or credit but hidden from plain sight. Have you noticed ads popping up with content (rather surprisingly) coherent with the last email conversation you had with your sister? Well, now you know the answer.

This was just a concrete and rather crude example of how systems thinking and poking for the why can lead to insightful results, often shocking even you.

Pop songs

Have you listened to any of The Beatles songs? Or ABBA or Adele or Taylor Swift? (Choose your era). Why were those songs such a rage? Asking yourself why they wrote the lyrics they did and why they sang it the way they did will lead to new insights. What was going on in their minds? I hear you protesting “but I don’t have a singer’s voice”. In that case, you have missed the point.

Of writers and words

How do writers write such enthralling stories, weaving such intricate worlds and drawing us into them? What is so great about Shakespeare or “The Catcher in the Rye”? Don’t emphasize on the end result but focus on the path to the end result. Then, practise that path to convince yourself you know it and most importantly, don’t walk it. Then you will have developed taste.

Why me?

Never be convinced with what people offer you. Ask why are they offering that and why to you? It will soon become apparent. If you are struggling to decide on a choice, ask what systems are at work and how they interplay. This will lead you to make more valuable decisions in life.

So, What Do I Take Home?

I quote Neil Kakkar from this post (which you should check out too),

There’s two kinds of people.
Bob, who will see this list, find some skills very interesting, and then go about honing those skills.
Alice, who will see this list, and wonder how I came up with these. Alice would then try to understand the system that generated these ideas. Then, she’ll adopt the system, and come up with skills possibly more relevant to herself.
Having the option to do both is powerful. Since Bob is the default, learn to be like Alice. Choose systems when things are important to you.

Don’t listen to anything I said here. Look at the system that led me to these ideas and exploit the system. Then you’ll have followed what I said. :)

Year in Books: 2020

gs454236@gmail.com (Basil Labib) — Thu, 31 Dec 2020 00:00:00 +0000

Let’s Get Started

The Rosie Project | Graeme Simsion
My first read this year (2020). I started just after taking the last of my annuals and I remember laughing hard. It’s a romcom about a genetic professor suffering from Asperger’s trying to find a wife. The Wife Project still gives me giggles. Oh and I remember picking this up after seeing it on Bill Gate’s to-read list .
Daemon | Daniel Suarez
A dystopian fiction where a computer program takes “control”. This was on my list for a long time. I read it in our public library and enjoyed the nerd talk. By the way, it also has a sequel Freedom (TM) .
The Perks of Being a Wallflower | Stephen Chobsky
I liked it. A coming-of-age story of a scarred teenager who found himself (and made friends). I remember making the mistake of watching the movie first and that robbed me of the opportunity to visualise Sam :P.
I was experimenting with audiobooks then and it did not appeal to me appreciable.
A Thousand Splendid Suns | Khaled Hosseini
This one’s a gem. I loved it. It made me firmly believe in the power of the female. A story of grit, courage and determination about Afghani women who find themselves in the middle of a war-stricken nation. I have fond memories between its pages.
The Rosie Effect | Graemae Simsion
A sequel to The Rosie Project (see above) (There is actually one more ). A development of the story told in the first book. Though I think it’s not as hilarious.
Head First C | D. and D. Griffiths (O’ Reilly Press)
My first ever proper grounding in the C language I now love so much (though I haven’t written much yet). I have taken notes of the book. Each page, each paragraph.
Crafting Interpreters | Robert Nystrom
A fascinating book which aims to (and succeeds) in destroying the lore of black magic that surrounds the “enigmatic” field of Programming Language Designing. The Java interpreter implementation hides low-level details and aims to introduce the concepts while the C compiler implementation is hard-core language designing with manual grabage-collection, optimization and all the good stuff. And oh, the illustrations are hand-drawn . I have only read the Java interpreter though.
- Bob’s blog : I like this guy for his attitude towards teaching stuff to others. I guess we should all be like him.
- The Dragon Book : I am not crazy and this is on my reading list (I have even leaved through the book).
The Alchemist - by Paulo Coelho
A fable and imaginative story about Santiago who goes on an adventure and finds himself where he started. Heavily metaphorical and ok. Honestly, I didn’t understand the fuss around this book because I had partly thought of the ideas in the book on my own.
Tao Te Ching - by Lao Tzu
My introduction to Taoism. This book was among the most recommended among Tim Ferriss’ guests so I picked it up. Highly rewarding and really worth multiple reads.
My favourite excerpt? Oh, there are too many! But to quote an example,

When nothing is done,
nothing is left undone.
- Lao Tzu, Tao Te Ching
Just for Fun, The Story of an Accidental Revolutionary | Linus Torvalds and David Diamond
Story of the nerd who changed the course of mankind’s development told by himself? Check. It’s like standing in a Hall of Fame (for me). No wonder Linus comes closest to the idol I yearn to have. (2021 edit: I don’t idolise him as much). Impressed by his throughly-thought after ideas about Open Source, it’s mechanism, implications, pros and cons. I quote him saying,

I was kind of aware of friends getting laid more, but that was okay.
Most of them were losers too.
The Brothers Karamazov | Fyodor Dostoyevsky
I have read till Part 2, chapter 5 - The Grand Inquisitor.
Who moved my Cheese? | Dr. Spencer Johnson
Ok, let me confess. I still don’t get the point of this book. We have to change and adapt lest we want to become obsolete and perish. Is this all? Or am I missing something? Please help me here.
Ready Player One | Ernst Cline
A great book which got me fanatically digging up ancient relics from the 80s. Set in a dystopian world where people jack into the OASIS, a virtual reality to hide in an illusion. Wade Watts must find the Easter Egg to inherit the OASIS from its creator, Halliday or else it passes into the hands of IOI, a corporate. Told in a gripping style, it was a “research book” for me and highly rewarding.
PS: Needless to say, can’t wait for this .
The Catcher in the Rye | J. D. Salinger
Teenage angst overload? Pimples? Defiance? Insanity? Cynical? Vulnerable? All check. A classic which painted for the definitive modern adolescent. Lots of memorable characters, Holden Caulfield being the most. I hardly (and thankfully!) connect with Holden. Infact, it set me thinking if I am missing out. 😶
Head First JavaScript | Morrison (O’ Reilly Press)
My first encounter with the most ubiquitous language on the Web. Such a pity that its such a poorly designed language. I remember picking it up after being motivated to build my own website and so you see. Of course, I won’t ever recommend this book to anyone because it’s so obsolete. Perhaps you will be better off checking out MDN Web docs for an introduction to the latest JS.
But if you do have time, this book might be a nice read to understand why others built abstractions and tools and frameworks they did. But in the super-fast highway of web dev, its really a dream.
Rosalind Franklin, The Dark Lady of DNA | Brenda Maddox
A sympathetic read about my first genuine crush. But shh! Besides, you will probably laugh if you happen to be reading the blog of a person who has crushes on dead people 😅
And I was smitten. Also, I am not ashamed to say but this picture alone motivated me to complete this whole book.(I blatantly leave books midway if I lose interest).
She had her complexity and flaws though.

The Secret Life Of Adrian Mole | Sue Townsend
I don’t even know why I picked this book up in the first place. I think I completed it in two sittings. Recently, have developed a tendency to hunt for short books cause I am losing my ability to stay committed in this dystopian pandemic situation(!)
The Power | Naomi Alderman
Another one of those books where I cheated. It’s ~300 pages. And quite stupid. In fact, it compels me to call it obnoxious as a sci-fi story. The premise is fantastic (and the author takes great care to yield it successfully) but it is just not possible for the society it weaves to be stable. (But then that’s the point of stories. They are mere stories.)
Somewhere along the way female-kind develops the ability to discharge electricity from their bodies at will (like eels) due to some wacky nervous-agent used in WW2. And then Hades breaks loose. Upend religion, rape and murder men at will, and as they call it “right all wrongs”. Wacky.
Mastering VIM | Jovica Ilic
Short and sweet introduction to a fantastic editor. Honestly, I haven’t looked back to VS Code since. The text is not terse enough which makes it sound more like a tutorial and thus is great from a learning perspective. And I got so much from it!
Oh and before I forget, you can sign up here for weekly VIM nuggets. This is such an ideal way for me to learn VIM progessively. (And should be for you too!)
The White Tiger | Aravind Adiga
A social satire which will make you laugh hard and grimly introspect your actions at the same time. Set in India, the principal seat of satire and hypocrisy in the world, follow a “servant” from Laxmangarh who became a man, enterpreneur and much more. A debut novel bagging the Man Booker Prize in 2008, I surely have to watch out for this author. A must-read eye-opener for every Indian. Gruelsome and vile in parts but starkly true in the whole.
Sample this: “Being called a murderer: fine, I have no objection to that. It’s a fact: I am a sinner, a fallen human. But to be called a murderer by the police! What a fucking joke.”
The Selfish Gene | Richard Dawkins
A classic story of gene and why we came into the picture of life. Dawkin’s well-formed ideas litter these pages with ample grim examples from the bizarre kingdom of life. This book can change your entire perspective towards life. My best non-fiction read of 2020.
Can’t recommend this enough, notwithstanding whether you are into biology or not.
The Humans | Matt Haig
A short read motivated by Remy Sharp’s bookshelf. Some neat ideas. Mixed feelings. But I liked it.
Took me two days so not a lot invested.

Thoughts: The Selfish Gene (Book)

gs454236@gmail.com (Basil Labib) — Wed, 30 Dec 2020 00:00:00 +0000

Abstract

My favourite non-fiction read of 2020.

Devil in the details

With natural selection manifesting itself in the most outspoken of ways this year, it was most apt that I stumbled upon this book. (A Twitter suggestion by PG) And I must say it’s quite a lovable book (for rational and open individuals, anyway).

It’s a book about evolution from the perspective of the gene; the so-called “selfish gene theory”. Dawkins asks the question, “What if evolution happens at the genetic level, individuals and species being mere vehicles (contrary to popular belief that Darwinism is focused on the organism level)?” The book is basically an answer to that question. And such a magnificent work, with Dawkins well-formed ideas coupled with intriguing (read: very bizarre) examples from the kingdom of life presented in his terse words. Perhaps never had a book been so opaque in nature yet so transparent at the same time.

I can safely say a part of me (my ideas) resides in the pages of this book. It is humbling to know what we truly are and even more terrifying to know that we can understand us ourselves. The book invites criticism for some of its “purple passages” but as it is said, truth is what it is. On the face of it, Dawkins may look like a vile antihumanist but on the contrary, he’s doing better than most humans in being outspoken and hence, helping in disrobing that fake robe of arrogance and pride some of us guise under for indeed misunderstanding must be nipped as soon as possible.

The programs fed by the genes are the default factory settings for organisms. But of course, at least we override it by conscious awareness, cultural influences, and the education that we receive.

It’s definitely not a book to be rushed through but devoured slowly. I’d say relish a chapter a day (with possibly a metaphorical lipsmack) and draw connections between the ideas presented. For it is in this diffused state that the mind can do magic.

If there is to be a list of books I’d like to revisit every year (and I’m actively working on making something akin to one), The Selfish Gene will undoubtedly be one of them. A book that will be as immemorial as the subject that it chooses to talk about.

Log

I started around Dec 17 and completed on Dec 28, so around 1.5 weeks.

My Music Order Arrived

gs454236@gmail.com (Basil Labib) — Sun, 20 Dec 2020 00:00:00 +0000

A rather crazy self-imposed project which I had the faintest of ideas will become all-devouring and pose countless hurdles for me to dodge. But yeah, did it. Don’t blame me for the CT making ethereal noises!

From left to right: Treasure, Stars and Topsoil and Heaven or Las Vegas (all CDs)

Why do I have to buy music?

In a nutshell, because I want to. But seriously, why in a world of Spotify and pirated downloadable songs would I have the brilliant idea to buy music?

As I said, because I wanted to. And really can you ever aspire to reason with a human who is blinded by desire? So that’s that. I wanted to pay my tribute to the most fascinating thing I have discovered this year. I wanted to pay my respect to the band which gave me my first ever taste of stardom. And let’s be frank, somewhere deep down I wanted to believe I’m cool (cause human vanity after all).

Moreover, I wanted to prove myself. To whom? Myself? Nah. To my parents. I wanted to show them that I am capable of earning money and spending it on stuff I desire. I wanted them to know that I can be free. I wanted to make a statement. I want them to let me be myself.

A Disturbing Bug in my head

The culmination of so many days’ of hardwork, research and passion finally paid off. Acquiring these CDs had become more than an obsession/desire for me. It became my emotion.

I have absolutely no idea how I ended up being so ignorant as to what my target is and what I’m doing. But then I guess, this is what being a human is like. Imagine all those big shots and important people failing their responsibilities and then eventually who suffers?

Apart from that side rant that was disturbing me for sometime now, I feel accomplished in a small way.

I financed the whole endeavor on my own from the compensation I got for my gig work for Topcoder.

What did I buy?

To be extremely honest, the idea to buy a CT CD came to me after I listened to HOLV. And it was just one CD. What could eventually go wrong? I thought to myself. But with some contribution from human desire coupled with marketing techniques exercised by Norman and my own vanity, I ended up ordering 3 CDs - Heaven or Las Vegas(1990), Treasure(1984) and Stars and Topsoil (Compilation). All three CDs are, of course, masterpieces. And I love them!

Is one click ever enough?

Inside of Treasure

Where did I buy from?

Norman Records .

I wasted quite sometime in vain during the initial days of the undertaking to convince myself that I can find a CT album here in the music shops of Kolkata. My supposition may have been correct say 20 years ago but today only remnants remain of this bizarre craze I have happened to nurture. For second, Music World burned down in an accident in 2010. I regret that. I ordered my CDs on October 26, 2020 and they arrived on November 27th, 2020.

My learning out of this experience was this: If you want something, spend money for it. There is absolutely no compromise for authenticity and quality.

What next?

I haven’t torn the seals of HOLV and Stars yet. I think they are too precious and are thus better off being untouched and pure. (😅 Weird) So, yea, anything we desire remains an obsession only until we haven’t owned it. Strange, this human nature really.

I plan to buy Blue Bell Knoll and am eyeing the 4 CD Treasure Hiding boxset for next year.

It sure has been a hell of a ride and I enjoyed every bit of it!

My First Open Source Excursion

gs454236@gmail.com (Basil Labib) — Wed, 28 Oct 2020 00:00:00 +0000

Granted that I have atleast a dozen projects hanging in midair (figuratively) on my hard disk (literally). And I have a couple of repos on github in near stasis but today I had my first whiff of open source. Open source doesn’t mean much without collaboration and today I dabbled in real time. Contributing code to a public repo, getting feedback and watching it getting approved. Oh! I felt rewarded.

I am of the opinion that newsletters are annoying but ironically all the good stuff I like have always come from them(!) Last year, I participated in Google Code-In (and got a tee) and that info came from a CodeChef newsletter. I got into crowdsourcing, Hacktoberfest and stuff through them.
The vital point is to judiciously decide which newsletter is relevant to you.

Procrastination is strong in me

It annoys me more than anything and I am fighting it. Coming back to the topic, I got to know about Hacktoberfest around mid-October. 4 PRs and I had 2 weeks. 14 days. Unconsciously, I let it slid to the back of my head. Adding it to my to-do everyday but not gathering the desire to actively work on it.

But few days back I did.

CONTRIBUTING.md

I contributed to a starter repo to get started. And then found this probability distribution package written in python. Added exponential distribution and its unit tests. The codebase was meticulously documented and that helped a lot not to nip my enthusiasm initially. Clever code and no documentation only puts off potential contributors.

The maintainer deemed my contribution substantial enough to name me a major contributor on the next release! See, I told you rewarding.

Depravity is a curse. Overcome it

I think that the Indian mind seeks frugality. I’m not being racist. Just something I observed during the Hacktoberfest.

People have made these “repos” where you can contribute CP solutions. Just silly stockpiles of code. These PRs count as valid for the fest but are of course, against the very spirit of open source. And why are people stooping so low for a contest? Well they ship you a tee if you reach 4 PRs. Yes! For a meagre tee. So shameful. I hate such people and such narrow miser mindset.

Would you be able to look at yourself straight in the mirror when you put on such a tee? What’s the point of owning something if you can’t earn it? Let’s make open source meaningful for everyone by playing fair.

No matter what, always with the truth.

TBR (To be read, silly!)

Producing OSS - By Karl Fogel

This book is on my reading list from a long time. Few would compete with it in terms of teaching what open source really is, how it works, what are your roles both as a contributor to a project and as maintainer of one. How to start your own FOSS project and the technical requirements/setup demanded. It’s pretty comprehensive for a beginner. And all of that from a practical viewpoint, so after reading the book, you can actually start your own project.

PS: This book is under the open copyright and available to read online . You may order a copy from O’Reilly Media.

Closing remarks

It was kinda obvious from the beginning but for the records, I think this dabble will soon turn into a deep dive!

Stuck by Fandom for the First Time in My Life

gs454236@gmail.com (Basil Labib) — Wed, 07 Oct 2020 00:00:00 +0000

Ethereal, heavenly, celestial, opulent, splendid, otherworldly - these adjectives form the regular staple of people who dare to describe the music of the Cocteau Twins (pronounced: cock-tow twins). Honestly, I think it’s an effort in vain. Because this band defies all possibilities of being defined by words. Cage them in artificial genres and you will fail. You can only experience their “sacred microcosm” yourself as Azam Ali so eloquently puts it .

Yes! This is the story of when I was stuck by fandom for the very first time in my life.

Early days. Robin Guthrie and Elizabeth Fraser seen here with Will Heggie. Source: official site

In the beginning…

Trying to be a fan of a band which breathed its last almost a decade before I was even born is difficult. So when I did discover Cocteau Twins I almost felt it was a decree of God Himself to show me what celestial beauty truly felt like.

It was during a breezy rewatch of “The Perks of Being A Wallflower” (delightful story. Read more about it here ) that I noticed Sam (Emma Watson) confront Charlie (Logan Lerman) with the name of a funny song title. “Then I heard this old song. Pearly Dewdrops’ Drop”. Hmph. But I took a mental passing note. Now, I have this habit of digging out trivia, soundtracks, wiki etc about any movie I watch as I believe it makes my experience more “fulfilling” somehow(!) (As a more practical perk, it sure helps me in quizzes).

I remember that first time when I innocuously played PDD on YouTube wondering it’ll be a regular song. But oh boy, there it was. Intriguing and writhing with life.

The next thing I remember is going through CT Wikipedia page, fan forum pages, Pitchfork, The Guardian, Rolling Stones and what not. I was stuck by fandom for the first time in my life. And boy, was it hard.

I came out of my dazed stupor with 2 things: their official website (gold mine of info, I still go back for a nugget!) and this beginner-friendly introduction to the CT by Vice which led me in my initial days in the dark.
(NB: I had zero interest and knowledge about music till then. Maybe a popular flick here and there on YouTube but that was it.)

A Brief History of the Cocteau Twins

Cocteau Twins was a Scottish band formed in Grangemouth, Scotland and active from 1979 to 1997.

Robin Guthrie paired with Will Heggie and started producing music from around 1979. He met 17 year old Elizabeth Fraser in 1981 at a local bar called “Nash”. With the front-lineup of guitar (Robin), bass (Will) and vocals (Liz), the band delivered their debut gothic-punk dark goodness “Garlands” in 1982 under the record label 4AD.

The band took their name from a song “The Cocteau Twins” (later rewritten as “No Cure”) by a band called “Johnny and the Self-Abusers” (later “Simple Minds” ). They were no kin to the French poet Jean Cocteau.

4AD remained their record label for the most prolific years of the band, releasing acoustic aesthetics such as “Head Over Heels ” (1983), “Treasure” (1984), “Victorialand” (1986), “Blue Bell Knoll” (1988) and “Heaven Or Las Vegas” (1990) alongside a number of EPs and singles under it.

Cocteau Twins, with Robin Guthrie’s brilliant and shimmering guitar, Liz’s soparno vocals and Simon’s bass to anchor heavenly mess, went on to define the genre of music christened as “dream pop”, “ethereal wave” or “shoegaze”. They were one of the pillars of British alternative music in the 80s alongside The Smiths and New Order.

They signed up with Mercury Records in the UK and Capitol for the American audience and delivered “Four-calendar cafe” (1993) and “Milk and Kisses” (1996) which was, rather unfortunately, destined to be their last studio album. The band broke up in 1997 due to conflicts mainly arising from the disintegration of the romantic relationship between Guthrie and Fraser.

The band was known to be notoriously reclusive, shying away from press interviews and live performances at large. The few occassions where they did consented provides a window into the minds of the people who make music sound like nothing ever conceived, all well documented here .

The band participated in 4AD’s The Mortal Coil project in 1983, producing the spine-chilling cover of Tim Buckley’s Song to the Siren with Elizabeth Fraser’s voice at its purest and Robin Guthrie’s guitar to complement it. Simon Raymonde joined the Twins later that year as a result of this collaboration as the bassist. Will Heggie had left the band after ‘Garlands’ and ‘Head Over Heels’ was essentially a Robin-Liz production. This trio was set to lead the Twins to glory.

The band members chose their paths relatively independent of each others. Simon Raymonde found his own music label Bella Union Records . Elizabeth has lent her voice to various artist productions, most notable among them is perhaps on Teardrop on Massive Attack’s Mezzanine album. Robin recorded his solo album, Imperial with Harold Budd, which went on to become the film score of Gregg Araki’s Mysterious Skin.

Get what Cocteau Twins really are (and what they are not):

(l-r): Robin Guthrie, Simon Raymonde and Elizabeth Fraser, pictured in 1983, a year before their signature album, Treasure. Source: Google Images

The soundscapes matter. Not the lyrics. Liz uses her voice as an instrument which weaves that magnificent tapestry of acoustic grandeur alongside Robin Guthrie’s guitar and Simon Raymonde’s bass. It is not conventional singing which one expects.

The CT tracks are not in any way singalongs. In fact the lyrics are so obscured, you can only ever hear the sounds in your head and heart but can never hum it in the bathroom.

CT tracks are not party music. They are really meant to be listened in solitary, perhaps with a companion (more on this later!) on a breezy afternoon with the sun rays obliquely filtering through the curtains.

The Cocteau Twins never supplied any lyric sheets with their records, save for the occasion of “Four Calendar Cafe” where Liz specifically wanted people to know the turbulence in her life and the failing marriage.

It has been recorded and documented that people have tried to make babies to their tracks(!).

A confession

Google “Cocteau Twins” and you’ll be presented with a heavily SEO’d set of webpages from major review sites I don’t wanna name with titles like “10 of the best CT tracks”, “20 of the greatest dream pop”. Don’t pay heed to those articles. They are bullshit.

How can you just pick up only the most prominent tracks from a band’s repertoire without taking into consideration their entire output? It only shows negligence when you don’t research enough and are in a rush to publish an article for a screaming boss or whatever.

But please understand it leads to a shrewd perception of reality for whosoever comes after and is counting on you to give them accurate information. (this applies to you even more if you are admired and looked up to.) You are responsible.

Closing Remarks

Steven Sutherland’s daring review of Treasure, 1984. Notice the last sentence. Source: official site

And just like that the Cocteaus shot into limelight suffusing our lives with joy and yearning. And as swiftly, they dispersed. Be whatever it may, as Trash Theory puts it, “for those who listened, they meant everything”.

Can’t get enough?

Head over to Eric Roosendall’s exhaustive review of every Cocteau track in the most passionate manner. This is my definitive encyclopedia of the Cocteaus. Every CT fan must read the whole subsite at least once. It’s amazing.
There is no higher clearing house than the official website when it comes to discrepancies or tracking rarities. Check out “News and Press”; it was particularly enthralling for a 17 y/o in 2020 reading band interviews and album reviews of the 80s.

Basil Labib

Can discrete Ricci flow signal capability transition in Transformers?

Abstract

Introduction

Key results

Preliminary background

Discrete curvature on a feature graph

The local and layer Ricci coefficients

Grokking to represent capability transition

Where to read a transformer’s “layers”?

Experimental setup

Results

Coefficients should be interpreted differentially

Effects of residual connections

Discussion and Limitations

Conclusion

AI usage disclosure

How to cite this work

References

Understanding System One Models Using Interpretability Tools

What are System One Models and Why Should You Care?

Setup

Methodology

When does decision form?

Does distillation impart new knowledge?

Can a probe predict mistakes better than the model’s output?

How robust are distilled System one models to prompt injection attacks?

Do the model modalities share a common intensity direction? Can it be steered?

Are System One models easier to interpret?

Can we exploit model internals to build better guardrails?

Does the model force a correct answer when there is none?

Are System One models option-shuffle invariant?

How small can a System One model adapter be?

Limitations and Future Work

Conclusion

To cite this work

References

Footnotes

The Lament of a Young ML Researcher

No bots won’t do your research for you

Cheating review with LLMs

Left hanging

The hopelessness of the situation

Ossification of research interests

The “paper” black hole

Solutions

Footnotes

Songs of My Life (So Far)

The Awakening

The ‘Bob Nystrom’ phase

At the movies phase

The Cocteau Twins phase

The Rock phase

The Romance phase

The Pop phase

Urdu phase

The Indie Rock scene

The Qawalli phase

The future

Footnotes

Day 1 of n: Reading (and Implementing) Ilya's 30 ML Papers

My Approach

Group by paper category

Papers arranged by increasing epistemic knowledge (for beginners)

Day 1: LSTMs, RNNs, and Complexodynamics

A System's Approach To Understanding Islam

What is a system?

The purpose of religion

The two types of religion

Surrender to God is closeness to God

Islam and Wealth

On Women

Where is humanity going?

Footnotes

Meditations from the Beach: Solo Trip To Vizag

Day 1 - Adrenaline high

Day 2 - Meditation and Solitude

Day 3, 4, and 5 - A Cog in the Machine

Footnotes

Indians Are Really Bad At Picking Opponents